Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah!

by Thorax

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1253

There are not enough swears in the English language to describe the rage these things have cause me.

A little blue monstrosity has stolen a dragon egg from the arcane tower. Celestia begins a chase that may only last a few minutes, but not a single vase will survive.

Published 2012-10-25 02:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-25 02:40:01 UTC

The Story

Peaceful, that is how Princess Celestia would describe the current day in Equestria. Peacefulness, the sole reason she was on edge. She'd seen everything, and had at one point or another had her hoof in everything. That is why she knew, at any moment everything could to Tartarus in a hoof basket.

"Princess Celestia!" came the panicked cries of mare from outside of the throne room.

Called it The Sun Goddess muttered internally a mixture a joy that came from being correct, and at the same time dread, that also came from being correct.

"Princess!" the frantic mare repeated as she came to a sliding stop in front of the two large stone thrones. "Princess Celestia, it's terrible!' wheezed the exhausted mare.

"Calm down, my little pony." The Princess of the sun answered calmly "Catch your breath and tell me your name and what’s wrong."

The brown earth pony paused for a second as she tried to catch her breath, at the same time attempting to silently mouth her message.

"Name, Dusty! *gasp* Your sisters! *gasp* Discord!" Dusty blurted as she once again tried to force her message out.

"What did Luna and Discord do now?" Celestia asked, slightly confused as to what could cause the two of them could have done to cause such panic.

"Summon a horrible monster" The earth pony continued "They were playing with a bunch of cursed objects and they dropped it and now everything's getting messed up." The mare finished finally taking a breath, and falling to the floor.

Celestia's face took on a serious tone as she rose from her throne.

"Was it another Shoggoth? I swear on the Sun and Moon if it's another Shoggoth, a thousand years on the moon are going to seem like an extended timeout"

"A Shoggoth?" the exhausted mare groaned

"Were there Tentacles?" The Princess asked as she pulled a large rifle out from behind her throne.

"No, it was a small thing, dressed in blue it grabbed one of the Dragon eggs from the hatchery and darted into the Arcane Tower."

"So, no Betsy?" Celestia asked a tone of sadness as she pulled the rifle closer to her chest.

"I do not believe that "thing" is necessary my Princess. The only real problem is its speed; it's just running in circles around the tower."

Celestia slowly placed Betsy back in her safety area "Don't worry baby, well shoot Discord at dinner." outside of the mares view, Celestia slowly lowered a hoof stitched blanket atop the fire arm, before finally giving it one quick kiss.

"If it's not hurting anyone, why is it so terrible? As well, why don't you have my sister or Discord deal with it?"

The Sun Goddess asked as she switched her focus back to the tired mare.

"Well after they let that little monster out, Princess Luna and Discord continued to play with the cursed objects, and after sometime they broke another one. This time something with Tentacles reached out and pulled them into so swirly black circle."

Meanwhile in a pocket dimension

"Yay Shuggy!" Shouted the Lunar Princess, as the large Tentacle monsters continued to beat on the profoundly confused God of Chaos.

Back in Equestria

"So why didn't you have the guards catch the creature?" Celestia asked as she continued to think of ways to punish both her sister, and Discord.

"We did!" the earth pony continued "But it's too fast, all the guards just end up smashing into stuff."

"Very well," answered the reluctant Princess "I shall deal with this issue personally; however I get to hit it with something. Meet me at the tower, and bring a broom, or something pointy. In fact, I'll give you a raise if you find me a pointy broom."

Several minutes later the Princess and the earth pony stood inside the main area of the arcane tower. Celestia held the large wooden broom above her head with her magic. She had gotten her wish, or at least part of it. Though the unfortunate mare was unable to find a "Pointy Broom" she did attach a rather pointy pencil to the top of the broom.

"I thank you, my little pony. Now watch as I send this creature back to whatever abyss it crawled out of."

The two mares made their way up through the floors till they finally came across the blue demon. Sitting in the center of the fourth floor, surrounded by the exhausted guards that had taken up the challenge of catching the creature.

"Now watch and learn" Celestia said smugly as she began her gallop towards the unsuspecting beast, broom raised and ready to strike.

The mare watched in anticipation as her Princess quickly closed the gap between herself and the Blue creature, she knew that unlike the guards Princess Celestia would not be tricked by such a simple minded creature. However, that faith was quickly demolished as the creature, without so much glancing at Celestia. The creature jumped up and dashed away at a speed that would make the Wonderbolts do a double take.

"Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah!" The creature shouted mockingly as the Sun Goddess fell flat on her face.

Princess Celestia groaned as she picked herself up from the floor.

"You caught me by surprise that time, this time will be different." Without hesitation Celestia began her second charge and just as before, the creature took off in a mad dash, egg held out in front of its face.

However, unlike the first time Celestia was ready for its sudden and sporadic movements when he suddenly darted to the left, she darted with him. When the creature jumped onto the shelves, she followed him up. It was only when he jumped over a large vase that Celestia was caught off guard, slamming violently into the vase sending shards of ceramic in all directions.

"Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah!" the creature repeated as it taunted her before running off.

"Okay my little pony" groaned Celestia as she shook a large piece from the top of her head. "We’re going to need a new plan."

Several minutes later, the entire left side of Canterlot Castle lay in ruins. The mass destruction caused by Celestia's battle with the creature from some hellish world, would go down in history. That was something Celestia could live with; she could live with the world knowing she destroyed her own Castle in a battle with a single opponent. What she couldn't live with was the knowledge that this "thing" defeated her.

"It's me and you Betsy" Celestia said with a wicked grin. War paint across her face and a Bandana across her forehead.

On her back rested the unconscious Dusty. Apparently receiving the powers of hellfire was something that knocked a normal earth pony on their flanks, but when she finally awoke, she would be able to assist them in the greatest battle Equestria would ever see.

"Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah!" Came the echoed shouts of the creature as it fled from what Celestia could only assume was another guard.

Celestia finished placing the last of her rounds into Betsy as she placed the gun on her side.

"Let's go get that Turkey!"

Back in the pocket dimension

"Look Shuggy!" shouted Princess Luna "I made a portal big enough for you to come back to Equestria with me!"

The giant Eldritch Abomination let out a squeal of joy as it began it’s slowly crawl towards the large swirling vortex.

"On ward Shuggy, Celestia is going to love seeing you again."

The End