The Trio of Destruction

The Trio of Destruction

Ch.3: Deja’vu…

(Carolus Rex, three days later…)

“Well… This is happening…” Jak said.

“Yep.” I replied. Right now, me, Jak, and Vol were in my room, working on weapons, armour, units, and the like. By hand no less.

“One thing I still don’t get…”

“What’s that Jak?”

“Why did you bring Errol’s body here?”

I sighed at this. “Jak, I told you, it’s for references. Besides, you killed what’s left of his former self.” I ensured him… Again.

“To be fair, I only killed him once.” Jak said in defense for his actions.

“You mean the barrel of Eco explosion, I seen it happen, I was there.” Vol said with a grin as he recalled the event.

“Well, Okay, if you say so…” I said as I got back to recalibrating somethings within the cannon. “Although, do you see Errol ever saving a copy of his personality, in hopes of rebuilding himself?” I asked Jak.

“Nope, Dumbass was too busy talking to the Dark makers to work on stuff like that. Speaking of which..” Jak said as he took out his satchel and started rummaging through it's contents. He then finally pulled out two crystals, one light and the other dark.

“You can use these as an infinite power source. Just make sure not to lose one of them, they won't work without their opposites.” Jak said as he held the two crystal that radiated power from them.

“Hmm…” Taking the two, I got the feel of their energies, which isn’t all that bad, mind you. But… “Jak, are you certain?” I asked him, wanting to be sure of his decision.

“I got tons of them, and I keep finding more through the wasteland.” Jak said as he showed me the contents of his satchel. I saw that he had more of them, almost like if it was common finding them.

“Damn son, that's a fuckton.” Vol commented.

“No, what I have here is a shitload.” Jak argued.

“No, I'm pretty sure it's a fuckton.” Vol repeated.

“How is that a fuckton, when he just said he’d found that in the wastelands? Jak’s just one guy, trying to dig up all of these for miles and fucking miles!” I said to Vol.

“...Whatever. Are we done yet by the way, I got to go to the Crystal Empire with Twilight and her friends, Nyx included.” Vol said.

“Sure. We can leave things from here.” With that said, we stopped what we were doing, pack things away, and headed out of my room.

Making our way to the train station, we saw the Mane Six and Nyx waiting there. Once they saw us, Nyx ran up to her father.

Vol decided to change clothes before we left, he looked more like an anime character. He wore a long grey overcoat covering most his shirt but showed enough to see a vest and a tie, and had a cross necklace dangling from his neck. For some reason he decided to put on glasses.

Oh, so that’s how he’s gonna play it out, huh? Well, I can’t let him have all the fun! Realising who he changed to be, I decided to do the same. There wasn’t much to change, I just needed to add on some things here and there, and BAM! Unfortunately, we forgot about Jak, seeing as he’s caught in between the two of us. Looking confused all the while at the scene taking place.

“I feel very uncomfortable right now…” Jak said as he backed away from us both, seeing the insane smiles on our faces.

“Geez, I just wanted to wear my favourite coat.” Vol said as he glared at Jak.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that, huh!?” I said as I, too, halted down at him.

“First off, don't shout. Second, it's not about you guys looking like characters from Hellsing, it's the fact that Rex decided to go along with it. But in any case, just thought I'd state my opinion. It's kinda hard for me, so bear with me, please.” Jak said as calmly as he could.

Me and Vol looked at each other and then back at him. “Alright, fine, whatever. But don’t make us change you into one of the characters.”

“Aye. You’ve made yourself kind of our mood killer here.” Vol told Jak, and in case you haven’t figured it out, we were both speaking as Alucard and Anderson.

Rolling his eyes, we continued on until Nyx jumped into her father’s arms.

“Hows my little bundle of chaos?” Vol asked his daughter.

“I can’t wait to see Aunt Cadence and Uncle Shining again!” Nyx answered with much enthusiasm.

“Wait, who are Cadence and Shining? Sorry, but I haven’t even met or heard of them in my Equestria.” I asked them.

“Cadence is the Alicorn of Love and she’s married to Twilight’s older brother, Shining Armor.” Vol answered as the mane six boarded the train

“Wow… Yet another Alicorn I have not been mentioned of! Can’t wait to bash Tia’s face in. Also, how did it went with you and this Shining character?”

“Well, when he found out that I was dating his sister, he tried to run me off. He only managed to make me laugh, he then challenge me to a duel and that’s when he knew about my skills with the bayonets.” Vol said with a grin.

“So what? You kicked his shit?” Jak asked as he was boarding the train and we followed behind him.

“I hope so. From the sound of things, he’s a total racist asshole. I’m calling him out on that!” I shouted as we took our seats with the Mane six, who were still staring at us.

“He isn’t racist here, just overprotective but I did learn his history with Nyx, so he’s still on my list of should kill but that list is old.” Vol said taking a seat next to Nyx. The latter used him as something to lean on for a nap.

“Jesus fucking Christ! Now I’m gonna have to watch out for him in my one! Although, what’s the story about the Crystal Empire? Can you girls tell me, please.” I said as I turned towards the girls.

“And… Why should we tell you?” Oh great, it had to be Skittles. “I mean, who even are you?”

“Because, unless you want to pay up that two thousand bits you owe me from the bet you lost, you have to answer.” Vol said to her, making Dash pale at the mention of the amount of bits.

Twilight shook her head and asked. “Rex, could you please show them who you really are? Pretty please?” She even went the mile with those puppy eyes.

“Aww, you look like a puppy. A sweet little lavender puppy!” I said to her as I shrugged. “Alright, you win this round… For now.” With that, I transformed back into my Alicorn form, surprising every soul, that didn't know, in the train. “Satisfied?”

“Very!” Twilight smiled. “I’m glad we can finally come to an agreement.”

“Don’t bet on it, Twi. Just because I did this one for you, doesn’t mean you’re on the same level as your hubby humper, Vol.” She deflated a bit from that remark.

“Well… I guess.”

“Wait a minute!” And here comes that lazy jockey bitch. “I don’t care if you are an Alicorn! But nopony does--!” She didn't get to finish her sentence, since I held her by the neck, choking her a bit.

“Too far!” Vol shouted at me as he grabbed hold of my arm.

Growling, I did what Vol had me do, but slowly. At the last moment though, I shoved her away from me. “Stupid twat..” I muttered under my breath.

“Rex, I’m sorry for Rainbow Dash’s rash behaviour! But--!” I held up my hand, telling her to stop.

“Don’t be, Twilight. That was her own fault for getting herself in that kind of situation. You can tell me about what’s been happening in the Crystal Empire…”

(One train ride and explanation later…)

“... And that’s about it. The rest you know of.” Twilight finished, which only left me feeling pretty enraged about Sombra’s actions.

“I can’t believe he did that…” I growled as we pulled up at the Crystal Empire’s train station. The girls, Twilight included, were really afraid of me at this point. Taking in deep breaths, I managed to calm myself as much as possible, but the fact still remains that Sombra betrayed me.

Vol grabbed a hold of my shoulders. “Hey, what’s wrong Rex?” He asked me.

“Yeah man. Because I’ve never felt that much fury from a single being.” Jak said. “Seriously, you got some issues…”

“You better goddamn believe it.” I snarled. “Girls, you go on ahead. We’ll be right behind you lot.” Not needing much convincing, they all rushed out the doorway. Sighing heavily, I leaned back into my seat. “Why…?” I said as I placed both my hands over my face, a few tears managing to escape. “Why did this happen?”

“Drunk on power.” Vol suggested.

“Brainwashed.” Jak continued on.

“Possessed.” Vol said afterwards.

“Or just because.” Jak said with a shrug of his shoulders.

“But now learning about this, I can’t even begin to tell you just how frustrated I am about the things he has committed.” I told them. “I mean, for God sakes I trained him!”

“Save it for your Equestria, that’s where you need to vent all you want to Celestia.” Vol said as he walked towards the exit.

“I agree with Vol, they didn’t tell you their mistakes, they need to know what happens when they’re not completely truthful.” Jak said, following Vol.

Sighing, I got up and followed suit. “Trust me, they know what will happen when they tell me.” After that, we all made our way towards the Crystal Castle.

Walking through the city, all of the crystal natives bowed their heads before us, which was still annoying to me. Seeing this, Vol placed his hand on my shoulder.

“Relax. We’re almost there. See?” Nodding his head towards the Crystal Castle, we were just about there when we got attacked out of nowhere, which resulted in knocking Jak out cold.

“Okay…. What the fuck just happened?”

PoV: Jak (Hyde)

Pain, pain was the first thing I felt as I assumed control over Jaks body. I would just go and attack everything but I made an agreement with Jak, so I decided against it and stood up.

“The fuck just happened?” I asked my comrades.

“Don’t know, but I think we'll find out soon.” Volburaal answered.

“And you're not Jak, are you?” Rex asked, earning a nod from me.

“Correct, I'm Hyde, Jak's alter ego and Eco enthusiast.” I introduced myself with a bow as I felt Jak’s body change. I noticed the skin of my hand turning into scales as well as a tail snake it's way out of my pants.

“Should we worry?” Rex asked, wondering what's happening.

“No, his body is changing into my form, it's normal for when I assume control over his body.” I answered as my back sprouted wings, ripping the shirt apart. Luckily Jak had gone to Rarity to make some stretchy pants for things like this.

My boots were shredded to accommodate my sharp feet. I felt myself grow a few inches in height. Once the change was complete, I began to stretch my limbs, wings included.

“Uhh, I have no words for the amount of weirdness I just witness.” Rex said as Vol snapped his fingers, making the shredded clothing items disappear. “Okay, looking much better… Well, you’re still ugly as fuck, that’s for sure.”

“Gee, thanks… You prick.” I snarled at him for that.

“Yep! Hate you too, you cunt!” Is Rex for real? I can’t believe he’d just says stuff like this, without much of a care! He just smiles like it’s normal for him, nothing but a regular daily basis thing!

“Alright, enough!” Vol gotten our attention. “Let’s just get to the damn castle. We’ll figure out who did that when we--!” Before he could finish, a bunch of Crystal-looking pony guards came and surrounded us three.

“Well shit.” I said as they started to point their spears at us.

“I’m gonna kill them all, if they don’t put those damn things away!” Rex looks just about ready to do so anyway. Although, it seems his glare and words were enough to scare this lot.

“Vol!” We heard Twilight called out. Looking towards her and the girls, the guards had them separated from us and lead them to the castle.

At first, I thought Vol was gonna stop them, but it turns out Rex was the one to do so. I didn't know what happened, it all went so fast, that not only did he beat down those surrounding us, but the ones with the girls as well. The result, a bunch of bedridden guards until next year.

“Well, they were asking for it.” I commented. Looking at Rex, I was surprised that his body covered in Lightning, and it was red! “... That explains it.”

Rex then returns back to his normal self, but he still held a killer look on him. Hell, I can actually feel the bloodlust radiating from the guy! Better snap him out of it, or else he’ll be the one going on a rampage.

“Dude, you made your point.” I said to him.

Growling… Sheesh, he sure loves to answer you like that, but at least he calmed down… A bit.

“You really need to keep a cool head Rex.” Vol told him with a deadpan expression.

“But those assholes were asking for it!” Rex shouted.

“Yeah, but showing them that you have a short fuse kinda makes them the winner.” I said to him. And it’s true, I had seen Jak contain his anger when speaking towards Errol and Praxis.

Although, what really surprised me was… Him laughing. No, seriously, Rex was laughing this off!

“Dude! What the fuck!? I’m serious here!” I shouted at him, but that only seemed to make him laugh even more.

“Oh my fucking God!” He said as he shook his head. “Oh Hyde, if only you know…”

“Know what!? I already seen what--!?”

“Oh really!?” He cut me off. “Well, hate to break it to you, but they asked for it! I cannot stress that enough!”

“What the fuck does that mean!?”

“It means they wished for it to happen! They thought they can handle the situation, they thought they had a easy win, they thought they can be heroes! Problem is, they weren't very careful, nor smart, about it! So unfortunately, they wished for something that was completely out of their league! And do you know what happens then!? People die!” Rex explained. “And when people start dying, it’s because their military, their government, failed to protect them! And when the body count starts increasing for a period of time, and they have yet to kill the monster, the people gets really pissed of at them for failing, time and again! So, instead of hunting down the monster, they hunt down their government, and make them pay for what they brought upon the populace! Ask Vol, he can tell you that I’m right about that.”

“Don’t bring me into this!” Vol shouted as he healed up the guards but restricted their movements.

“Well, that’s too fucking bad, because you were in those situations yourself, Vol.” Rex said.

I turned to face Vol who then looked at me.

“I prevented a war,but that didn’t mean the citizens took kindly to their leaders greed.” Vol said as he finished up with the last guard.

“How did you prevent one?” I asked him, curious to know.

“I sang out War! by Edwin Starr, turns out the inhabitants of this world are really into music.” He answered.

“See. The government tends to always fuck your life up. Remember what the Baron did to you and the citizens?” Rex asked me.

“You’re asking the wrong guy here, Jak is the one the hates the shit out of him.” I said in my defense.

“So? You know Jak. You know what he feels, and how he felt about the incident. You two are in the same body, so whatever he feels, get transferred over to you as well, Hyde.” Rex countered.

“No, you don’t get what I mean. What I meant was that I have no clue why he hates him so much, his hatred was only doubled when I was made, the rest I have no clue.” I said to him.

“Trust me, you do. Even if you don’t think you do.” Rex said to me. “I’ve seen this a hundred times over. They say they don’t know why, but that’s only because they don’t remember it fully.”

“Rex, I know my father said to leave you be but if you keep doing stuff like this, I will strip you of your powers, I don't care if Dad takes mine away but I can't just let you beat up everyone just because they made you angry. I swore to protect this world from threats of any kind and if you will he classified as one if you keep doing this, and I don't care what my dad says, you can't treat anyone like shit!” Vol said as he held Rex up in the air with his hand up.

“Do.” Vol started to say as he tightened his hold, making Rex cough.

“I make.” Vol said as he was soon covered in a black aura.

“Myself.” He continued as his disguise was burning off slowly.

“Clear!” He shouted, spreading his wings in his true form as his eyes were pure white.

Even though Rex didn't say anything, or couldn't, I don’t think any of this is going to end well. Unfortunately, I was right. Moving his hand, Rex grabbed a hold of Vol's arm, that held him up in the air. At first, nothing happened, until I saw Vol’s arm starting to gaining muscle mass, for some reason. But then I saw the veins pumping blood non-stop, which made his arm become much more bigger, until it reached to a ridiculous size that it was straining.

“Rex… What are you doing?” Vol questioned him, but Rex didn't reply. “Answer me, damn you!” Still, no reply from him.

“I’m not liking where this is going…” I said as I prepared for the worst, only problem was I wasn’t prepared for what happened next.

Just as it started to seem just about ready to pop by itself, Rex gave it a quick squeeze, and Vol’s arm exploded in a gory way. Blood spattered everywhere and on us all, which Rex didn’t seem to care much about it. But we do!

“DAMN YOU CAROLUS REX!!!!” Vol shouted out loud, as he replaced his arm. “NOW YOU REALLY---!” Before he could finish, Rex was already upon him, sword in hand - wherever the hell he got that - and about to cut Vol in half, vertically might I add.

But then, out of nowhere, lightning struck the both of them. The blowback from it sent them two flying off from each other. Vol seems to be fine, I think, but Rex looked as though he’s knocked out.

“Jeez dad, thanks.” Vol groaned. “But I’d appreciate it if it was only Rex, and not me included.” His request was answer with another lightning strike. “OW!!!”

“He’ll think about it, when people stop presenting themselves as a threat towards Rex.” I literally jumped away from the voice behind me. Turning around, I saw a human with wings behind his back.

“Michael…” Vol spoke. “What are you doing here? Did dad sent you?”

“Who else Vol?” Michael said, as he walked over to Rex. “If you haven’t gotten in his way, all of this would have been avoided.”

“Me!? Tell that to Rex! I was trying to stop him from doing something he’ll regret!” Vol answered back at this Michael person. “I mean, seriously, what was dad thinking about choosing someone like him!?”

“I can say the same for why he created and took care of you?” Wow, shots fired.

Grunting, Vol snapped his fingers and we were all cleaned up of his blood. Including Rex.

“I was an accident, I wasn't made on purpose.” Vol said afterwards.

“So, what can I do for you, you angelic prick.” Vol sneered at Michael.

“Oh, father send me down here, to keep you lot from killing each other.” Michael said as he shot Vol with a glare. “And don’t try that tone with me, boy. You know what happened last time you did that with Gabriel.”

“Threatening me are you? Remember, I beat you in fights when I was just a thousand years old.” Vol said, earning a grunt from the archangel as he had the face of embarrassment.

“You got lucky!” The Arch angel shouted in outrage.

“That's what you said the other six hundred and ten times you've challenged me.” Vol said with a smirk as he pulled out an ancient scroll with gold handles on it. He opened it up and showed everyone the contents of the scroll. It was divided in half with Vol’s full name on the left and Michaels on the right, under each name was a number. Vol had the exact number he had said earlier while Michael had none.

“Beaten by a child, how did that make you feel?” Vol mocked Michael. Michael finally lost and drew his sword, about to attack Vol in anger but was soon stopped by a set of two bayonets.

I looked over to the owner of the two blades and saw Nyx with an angered look. I then heard the sound of magic being used behind me, I looked back to see that Twilight had summoned her own weapon.

I looked back at Vol and saw the smirk never left.

“Dad, why do you get yourself into these types of situations?” Nyx asked her father.

PoV: Volburaal Nahlii

As I stood there, smirking at my victory of pissing off cousin Michael, I looked over to Nyx.

“Sweetie, if I knew why, I wouldn't be in this mess.” I said, earning a confused look from the Archangel.

“Who is this? And why has she just referred to you as dad?” Michael said, narrowing his eyes at me. I grabbed his sword, melting it in my grasp as my disguise went back up.

“The reason is, that she..” I said as I bent over to pick up Nyx, resulting in a yelp of surprise from her.

“Is my daughter.” I finished as I straightened back up with Nyx in my arms. She had made her bayonets dissolve into a dark cloud.

“And who's the maiden behind me? Surely mortals are smarter than to aim their weapons at an archangel.” He asked me. I glared at him as Nyx moved up to my back as I grabbed hold of Michael.

“Watch it, that's my wife you're talking about.” I said, enraged at his comment towards Twilight.

“You married a mortal? That is against the rules and you know it!” Michael said. At the mention of the rules of my father and his immortals I laughed, I laughed harder than Mark Hamill’s Joker.

“Since when did I followed the rules? Hell, Tyrael did his job but was casted out of his own domain for bringing Justice! And guess what! He came back to help your sorry asses against Diablo in the siege of the High Heavens!” I said with a hearty laugh.

Michael looked at me in anger but he knew I had a point, the rules are only setting them back from doing what their titles are for.

“Fine, but why though?” He said with a sigh.

“Well, I honestly didn't think it was possible but I had managed to fall in love with her. At first I chose to ignore the feeling but the longer I stayed, the more I knew these feelings were real. I didn't fall for her beauty, her status or for shits and giggles, I fell in love with a smart, funny, kind, caring mare who could deal with my insanity.” I explained my reason. Michael nodded as he turned to look at Twilight.

“And what is your reason for being him?” He asked Twilight.

“He had made me feel special, like I was truly important to the world and helped get out of my depression. He had arrived only a few months after I had divorced my ex, he had been going out with other mares behind my back and mistreated my daughter, Nyx.” Twilight started to explain as her sword had disappeared in a lavender light. She then walked and stood beside me.

“When ever he had seen me in depression, he would devote his time to help me vent out or be the shoulder I could cry on. I guess after a while, I had fallen for him, though I wanted to think otherwise but the more I got to know him, the better the feeling was. He's funny, kind, cares for the well being of the innocent, smart and he's a great role model for Nyx, though sometimes I'd think other wise.” She said as she looked at me with a disapproving look.

“But that's the kind of silliness I love about him. If everyp-one thought my life couldn't get any more bizarre, well they had another thing coming.” She said as she gave me a small kiss.

“Love you too, Twilight.” I said as I held her in an embrace. I looked over to the archangel.

“May I ask the amount of time you'll be staying?” I asked, calm and collective.

“Until I get orders from your father that I'm needed elsewhere, why?” He asked, earning a smirk.

“Reasons, such as.” I said as I snapped my fingers, consuming Michael in a torrent of golden flames. Once the fire dissipated, it left a pegasus stallion with a brown mane and tail, his coat an alabaster white. His wings were also a golden yellow, he wore a set of Archangel armor and had reinforced plasteel platings on his wings.

He looked at himself and then looked at me, with a hardened glare.

“You need to fit in, I'm trying not to cause panic, but you and Rex are making it really difficult.” I said, earning a sigh of acceptance from the former angel.

“Welcome to the mortal like, Mickey. Though you'll need a new name for the time being.” I said as Michael looked at the melted remains of his sword as it reshaped itself and solidified back into its former glory.

Sighing, he placed his sword away. “Very well, although I’m still worried about Rex.”

“Why?” Twilight asked him. “He’s been very destructive ever since he came here.”

“True. But then again, what human isn’t?” That question he aimed at me. “Did you not sense his humanity?”

“I did, and he even told me. Although now I’m questioning his temper. Rex keeps acting on his rage. Is this what dad meant; him being worried about Rex’s psychological stability?” I asked and he nodded his head.

Before we could discuss this further, a certain pink Alicorn princess of love spoke up. “Um, excuse me…” Cadence, along with her husband came up towards us. “I don’t mean to be rude but, can I see this Rex please?”

I raised a brow at this. “Why would you want to…?” Then it hit me, which only made me sigh. “Cadence, I’m not sure how that’s gonna go over well. He might take that as an invasion of privacy.”

Cadence looks down at Rex in sadness… Wait, sadness?

“I need to help him.” She stated as she got closer to Rex and bent down. “He needs to feel it again…”

“Feel what again?” I asked her, very confused about it.

“This.” As Cadence said that, she leaned in and…. Kiss him!? No, seriously, she was kissing him, in front of us all! Even Shining was stunned, if not only hurt by this.

“Awkward!” I heard the distant shout of a random stallion.

Soon Rex’s eyes started to flicker open, and when he saw her kissing him, he immediately broke the kiss and sat up in shock.

“Woah, easy man! It’s just Cadence!” Hyde said as he came to his side.

“I can see that…” Rex said in a normal tone. But still feeling shocked. “But why did she do that?”

“Okay, um, we don’t know why she did that.” He answered Rex. “But - and sorry if this is cutting it close - how did it feel, the kiss I mean?”

“Something only lovers do behind closed doors, and that’s saying a lot.” Rex explained to us, which we turned to Cadence.

“I…” She started. “I did it because… Of how much love he’s holding back…”

“Him?” I pointed at Rex. “I’m sorry Cadence, but I can’t see your point-- OW!!!” I yelped as someone kicked me in the shin.

“Vol!” Oh crap, that was Twilight who did it. “What’s wrong with you!? That’s like saying you don’t love me or Nyx!”

“That's not what I meant!” I shouted, running the pain away.

“Then what is it!?” She shouted back.

“I just can’t see him in a stable relationship, of any kind, whatsoever! Period!”

“B-b-but, I can make it work for him!” We all stared at Cadence when she said that, even Rex was… Nervous? “I can find him the perfect match!”

“Oh god why?” Rex said.

“For once, I’m with you on this one.” I stated.

“I'm at a loss here.” I heard Michael say but was ignored.

“What the--!? Michael!? When did you get here!?”

“A few minutes ago, the boss sent me here t-” He didn't finish as his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates.

“I had just used a mortal word to call our lord! I'm so dead.” Michael said with a panicked expression.

Everyone and I do mean everyone stared at him with looks of unamusement towards him. Michael noticed this and clamped up, now knowing that life of a mortal is harder than he thought.

“Why do I feel like I should find an isolated area and be alone?” He asked himself.

“It just means you don't like to be the center of attention.” Hyde said, making turn towards him.

“Jak doesn't like to be the center of attention, but when he is, he tries to scare everyone away and it's kinda understandable as he's an anti-social and it's worse when he's depressed or in self-loathing.” Hyde said.

“Hmm, I think that's what it is.” Michael said as looked over to me.

“I still have my strength and agility, right?” He asked, earning a nod from me. He sighed in relief, knowing that he hasn't lost his traits.

I noticed how we had gotten a rather large crowd around us, staring at what's happening right now. I snapped my fingers, making the group of ours appear in the Crystal palace as I stayed behind to deal with the crowd.

I took out a set of black sunglasses and put them on, then I took out a de-neutralizer. I pressed the small red button, making a set of three buttons appear as it extended.

I hovered over the one with the label one hour and aimed at the crowd.

“Mares and Gentlecolts, if I could have your attention please.” I said outloud, gaining the full attention of the crowd. I pressed the button, making a bright red flash blind everyone.

They stood there with blank faces.

“Mares and Gentlecolts, I'm sorry for the inconvenience of the two Neanderthals having a drunk fight, so rest assured they've been placed under arrest. Thank you and have a nice day.” I said, before disappearing in a torrent of black fire.

Third person

As the fire left the vicinity, leaving countless stallions and mares blinking at the newly implanted memory, except for one elder earth pony with pitch black glasses and a cane. He wore an orange tunic and some shorts, he also appeared to be wearing a turtle shell on his back.

The stallion stood looking the direction that Volburaal stood on as Diamond dog walked up behind him. The diamond dog wore an orange gi, with a strange mark on his back.

“Master?” The Diamond Dog asked, though his call was not heard by the elder as he looked to be contemplating about something.

“Hmm, hmmm...Kay bye.” The elder stallion said to no one in particular as he his a quick one eighty degree spin and began walking.

“Master, what now?” The Diamond Dog asked the elder stallion.

“Well, after whatever happened over there, I think it's safe to say that it's better living in my island than to be another hour out here. Shen! Grab M’Dick!” The elder stallion shouted, making the diamond dog look at him with a bemused look.

“Please tell me you mean the car.” The Diamond Dog said, uncomfortable about the awkward situation.

“Heh!” The Elder stallion chuckled as they began to walk towards a dune buggy that had a small flag with the words M’Dick in the wind.

(Carolus Rex, Crystal Palace…)

After being teleported inside, we were all suspended in midair for a few seconds before falling down onto the floor. Groans of pain were heard all around, as I tried to get up, and I do mean try.

Looking as to why, I found Cadence sitting on top of me. Unfortunately I was also looking underneath her skirt, seeing her panties. Gotta say though, not a bad pair she had on her.

But enough of that. Looking back at her face, which is glowing red, I told her. “Cadence, could you get off of me.”

What she did next, wasn’t very appropriate, because all she did was slide down, from my chest, to my crotch.

“Cadence this is the exact opposite to what I want from you.” I said to her, but she’s not paying attention. Rolling my eyes, I sat up, grabbed her, and carried her bridal style as I got up. “Seriously, Cadence, not funny.” I firmly stated.

“I don't think she's listening. I'm not an expert in mortal affections but I can tell she's in her own little heaven right now.” Michael said.

“Oh Michael, you’re such a loud mouth, aren’t you?” I said to him, while glaring at him for that little remark.

“Hey now, let’s not get hasty here.” Michael said as he raised his hands. “I didn't mean it to offend you.”

I didn't have time to reply as a torrent of black fire emitted in the center of the room. Once the fire was gone, Vol stood in the center, holding a little device and wore sunglasses.

“Okay…” Was all I could say at this scene.

“Um… Hey, can I have my wife back?” I heard what I assume is Shining Armour. Turning around, I saw the little shorty and just immediately hated him. “Hey, what’s with the glare?”

“You…” I snarled at him and moved away from him.

“W-woah, now wait a minute here.” He said with a nervous smile. “There’s n-no reason for being nasty.”

He tried to get close, but I growled at him, and made him back off.

“Now Rex.” Michael spoke up. “You can’t go around growling at people.”

“I don’t trust him.” I sneered.

“Maybe so, but you know you can’t--”

“I know!” I snapped. “But is he really worth her time?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Michael, Alicorns are the immortals of this world. In case you’ve forgotten that.” I explained to him, which made him take a step back.

“Oh… Right.” He said as his ears fell down. “That is… Problematic.”

“Well, that and I wouldn't trust him with any other woman.” I added.

“Of course.” He said with a deadpan expression. “But the boy seems like a nice enough fellow.”

“Hey…” Armour whined at that. “What’s that suppose to mean?”

“Nothing fagnuts. Now shut up.” I told him off.

“Rex.” Cadence spoke up.

“Hm?”

“Not that I mind being carried by you like this, which is pretty hot…”

“I’m going to pretend I didn't heard that one.” Well, I see where this is going.

“But… Maybe I should stick with you, for now…” That got us all confused.

“Why?” I asked her.

Cadence looked like she was about say something else but stopped as we all heard the sound of a car passing by, wait what? I walked towards the nearest window and saw a small buggy with an elder stallion and a diamond dog driving the vehicle.

I had focused my hearing to see if they're a threat of any kind.

“Shen, I've been meaning to ask.” The elder stallion said as the diamond dog turned to look at him with an angered look.

“Knew it, I friggin’ knew it!!” The Diamond Dog shouted as the elder stallion smirked and shouted.

“How's it feel, ridin’ M’Dick!?” The elder stallion shouted with a hearty laugh, earning a groan of frustration.

“Two months! Two months, you've been holdin’ on to that one!” The diamond dog shouted in anger, earning a serious reply from the elder stallion.

“You don’t know the patience I have. Didn’t answer my question, either.” The Stallion said, earning a sigh of annoyance.

I chuckled at the idiotic joke, it may be stupid but it's funny. I took another look at the buggy before turning back to the group, I noticed it had a flag waving around with the words M’Dick in the wind.

“Heh! Fucking old man.” I commented.

“What was that all about? Do you know?” Cadence asked.

“Yes, but you won’t get the joke. Only Vol, Jak, and myself knows what it’s about.” I answered her.

“Know what?” Vol asked as he came up to us.

“Oh, just a familiar joke from back home.” I pointed out for him see and he chuckled when he saw it.

“By my father's beard, that dirty old man.”

“Would you rather it say something else?” I asked him.

“Like what?” He said with a bemused look.

“Like… Titties all day, everyday.” I answered him. But then out of nowhere.

“TITTIES ALL DAY, EVERYDAY!!!” We heard an entire crowd shouted out what I said, from somewhere.

We were all silent for a few moments, only because I, Vol and Jak, are trying very, very hard not to lose our shit. Unfortunately, our faces betrayed us as Twilight was glaring at us.

“Don’t….” As soon as she started though, we’ve lost our shit.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” The entire castle, if not only the empire, was filled with hysterical laughter, coupled with incessant as well.

“Hehehe my god! Rex, why would you think of something like that!?” Vol asked, while trying to stop laughing long enough to get that out.

“I don’t know!” I said as I fell to my knees. Tears streaming down. “It just popped up in my head!”

I noticed that Vol stopped laughing as he turned to look at Twilight.

“Um, Twi, where's your crown?” Vol asked, making the mare in question try to feel the crown on her head, to no avail.

“Son of bitch.” She muttered out in anger as me and Vol noticed an orange unicorn mare running away like a mad woman.

I turned to look at Vol, seeing if he had any idea on what to do.

“Ugh, let's go get the crown back.” He said with little to no enthusiasm. We proceeded to follow the mare in our own pace.

“Oh for god sakes…” I muttered as I put Cadence down, got up, and started chasing that thieving bitch throughout the castle.

“Persistent fool!” The thief shouted as she used her magic to knock things down, trying to slow me down. In which failed horribly for her, as I just practically weaved my way through it all.

“What!?” She shouted in surprised shock.

“Bitch, you ain’t stoppin’ shit from fucking you up! Ya cunt!” I shouted at her as I pulled out my Deathlock Rangers, and started shooting at her.

I wasn’t trying to kill her, per se, but rather lead her astray. However she got in this palace, is where she’ll try to get out the same way. Well, time for a game of ‘Cat & Mouse’.

“To your left!” I said as I shot at her right side, making her go left.

“Watch it, you crazy psychopath!” She shouts as I chase her down, like prey.

“Oh, this is gonna be fun!” I said as I laughed my head off. This is where, I’m about to lose my head.