We spent two more days in the secret facility. Flux had a look at the terminal. It turned out they had been seeing how Paint Splatter functioned, and, if they could get her "functioning reliably". Which is to say, acting like a freaking always-cheerful robot, they had planned to make more. Holy Brahmin, they intended to sell it as a way to extend the life of a pony. Yeah, life forever, just give up nearly everything that makes you a pony. Great deal. We headed out after the two days. I hoped it would be long enough for some of the heat to die down. I knew some would still be looking, but most of them would keep looking for to long for us to just wait it out here anyway. I had grabbed anything remotely useful, even a few more spare parts for Paint Splatter. When we exited the pipe and stepped outside, I almost though Paint Splatter's brain was going to explode from all the colors it shifted through. "Oh, oh my." She said, gazing up at the waterfall. Me and Flux couldn't wait, as we had to get out of the mist before we got rad poisoning. We waited outside the danger zone, and she followed a few minutes later. Her head swiveling around, taking in the wasteland. "Oh. Its... its really gone." her light had gone blue again. I considered putting a hoof around her, but I didn't know if she would even be able to feel it.

"Its pretty bad." I said. "But not all of it. Ponies are trying. They have several better settlements. And maybe the pegasi will actually open the sky one day." Even I could tell she didn't believe me.

We moved east. again. It turned out that Paint Splatter's sister lived in what had been a small town a couple days south. We made our way down to it, encountering no one along the way, thankfully. There wasn't much left. A few scattered ruins of houses along an old railroad track. Paint splatter walked up to one of the ruins, this one still half-standing, the first floor more or less intact, the second nothing but scrap. She tried to open the door, but it simply fell in at her feet. I wanted to warn her. I was pretty sure she would find nothing but skeletons inside, if anything at all. But how do you warn someone about something like that. And I was pretty sure she already knew what she would most likely find.

I followed her in as she walked into an open room with the ruins of a sofa and television. Thankfully, no skeletons sat on the sofa or lay on the floor. From this room I could see a kitchen and eating room, but from what I saw none of them had bones lying around. And the stairs leading to the ruin above was already falling to bits.

"They're.. not here." Paint Splatter said at last. "My sister and her husband. Or they were..." She didn't say more, simply looking up through a hole to were a second story would have been.

Then, I saw it, a recording left on a small table by the sofa, under a piece of paper that was totally unreadable with age. When Paint Splatter noticed my gaze, she leaped at it, jamming it into a slot in her side that I could see was labeled "Party Mix". Instantly, freaking speakers popped out and began playing.

"Sis, I hope you're getting this. No one will tell us what happened, just that you were in some sort of accident and are in critical care. I've been sending messages to every ministry official I can think of and no one will tell me anything. Now... now the sirens are going off and everyponies in a panic. We were given a spot in Stable 62" A male voice broke in "Honey, we have to go now!" "I'm coming! They're taking up by train. Follow the tracks, find us, I love you sis!" With that, the message ended.

We stood, looking at each other for a long moment, before Paint Splatter spoke up. "They... made it into a stable. They survived."
I tried to look happy for her. Flux didn't have any problem doing so, after all, he didn't seem to know what most stables were like. "Yeah! he said. They would have been just fine."

"If we follow the tracks... do you think we could find the stable?" Paint Splatter asked me.

I looked at her, wanting to give her hope, but I had to be honest. "Which way?" I said, waving a hoof. The tracks went north to south by the house, and at the edge of town, another went west to east. "We could try but, even if we find the stable.... they're gone."

"I know but.... may we at least try?" She said plaintively.

I sighed. Well, from the radio, Tenpony was still under siege so... "Fine." I said. We had come from the north, so I chose a direction at random, and we headed south.

....

"Okay, this is far enough." I said at last. We had been traveling far to long already on what I knew was a wild goose chase, but this went to far.
"But..." Both paint splatter and Flux started to say.

"No, we've spent to long at this, we are running low on food, and we are far to close to splendid valley! We stop here."

Both tried to argue, I hushed them. "Look, splendid valley is full of taint and unfriendly hellhounds. Even if their was a stable in it, there is no way anyone in it survived, we need to head back and...." My voice trail off as I stared behind my companions. There, over the ridge ahead where I new splendid valley to be, a huge cracking thundercloud seemed to be slowly falling towards the earth. But it wasn't a thundercloud. I could see metal platting, and saw massive engines keeping it aloft. It was a freaking ship of some sort. Many smaller cloud ships surrounded the first as it stopped falling from the clouds, hovering over the valley.

"Wha... what is that?" Flux asked in a hushed tone.
"Ether the pegasi decided to come back, or..."

"Or what?" He asked.

"Or we should run." I finished. There wasn't much doubt, we booked it. Now, for years, I got by via stealth. I couldn't outrun much, so I snuck by it. But now I was with a foal with bright mane and stable barding, and a flashy pink brainbot. So it wasn't really that surprising that we didn't get far.

"Stop!" The voice rang out from above us. We probably would have kept going if a bright beam of energy hadn't sprayed the ground in front of us for effect. We all skidded to a halt, looking up. Three pegasi were hovering in the air before us. One, a mare apparently, had the insect-like face plate of her helmet back, and was glaring at us. "You, freeze! She commanded, before pressing something at the side of her helmet with a hoof. "Steel wing reporting in. Tribals found at eastern patrol boundary. Reporting a donkey, a foal, and pink robot." She listened for a moment, then I heard a raised voice coming through a speaker in her helmet. Oh donkey hearing, wasn't that useful. Unfortunately, I couldn't quit make out what it was saying from this distance, but it made her eyes widen. "You two!" She shouted, pointing to me and Flux. "You are wanted for questioning about an incident at a Fillydelphia ministry site. You will be taken in for questioning, along with your robot." He weapons trained on us. "You will not resist."

We were trapped. Practicality was good, but it wasn't a match for three heavily armed pegasi. Flux didn't have the arms ether, and I hadn't even found a weapon Paint Splatter could work, what with the lack of a mouth or magic to hold and fire one with. We didn't have a choice. "We surrender." I said, sitting back and putting my hooves in the air. We would just have to think of something. Hopefully they would be stupid enough to leave us unguarded at some point, or maybe just put us in a cloud cell. Hey, there ships were made mostly of clouds after all. Then though, the pegasi started getting a lot of chatter in her radio. All the pegasi turned their heads to the valley, and I couldn't help but do the same. A large bubble had formed in the valley, over where I though that distant building must be. Oh, this couldn't be good. But we couldn't do anything about it. The pegasi were only mildly distracted, and kept their guns trained on us. For a long few minutes, the pegasi in front of us kept asking for orders. obviously, chaos reigned now. Then though, they came to a decision.

"March!" The mare, apparently Steel Wing, ordered, pointing her weapons at us. Great, now we had to walk back to a giant cloudship over splendid valley. I thought fast, and turned, heading back to the valley, but slow and obviously limping. "Are you injured!" The mare demanded overhead. I nodded.

"Twisted a hoof." I said seriously, grimacing in pain. The longer I could avoid being marched back, the better.

"You, robot, carry her." She ordered to Paint Splatter. Well, that was one idea down. I had to play along, letting myself be carried on Paint's back. We walked towards the airship, though I didn't know why the pegasi didn't just fly us up. Maybe we were to heavy? But then, how did they intend to get us up there? As it turned out, I was never to find out. Before we had traveled even half an hour, the valley still distant, light burst into the sky. I shielded by eyes as the most intense light I had ever seen seemed to burst out of the valley, when it abruptly faded, I looked out to see a wall of dirt smashing the cloudships, large and small, aside. And it headed for us. I had seconds. I leapt from paints back and grabbed flux, curling around him by pure instinct before the wall of hot air and displaced earth hit us, and I knew no more.

...

Pain radiated from every part of me. It felt like my coat had been lit on fire, then doused with freaking acid. My muscles ached, and it took everything I had to open my eyes. Grass. I was lying in grass. I winced as sunlight hit my eyes, and squeezed them shut again. So, I was dead. Sunlight, grass? definitely afterlife. But then, why did everything hurt so much? Did I make it through to the other place? Wait, no, that place definitely didn't have sunshine or grass. Finally, I opened my eyes again, squinting in the light. Yup, still saw grass and sun. I slowly tried to raise my head, wincing at the pain of stiff neck muscles adding to everything else.

"She's awake!" I heard Flux shouting. His hooved moved into view, and I could feel his hooves press against my side.

"You must stay down ma'am." I heard Paint Splatter say. A purple potion came into view as she shoved its open top into my muzzle, and I drank it greedily. "I didn't give you any potions while you were unconscious, as I feared you would choke, but you need several." She continued. True to her word, another healing potion followed the first, and I swiftly gulped that one down two before laying back and letting the magic do its work. By then, my eyes had adjusted, and I looked around. I was lying in grass in a small clearing, surrounded by trees. Overhead, the sun was shinning down on us through a gap in the clouds. As the potion healed what appeared to be burns all over my coat. Apparently, they had removed my barding and pack saddle to put on some bandages already. usually I would be enjoying the feeling of the sun on my coat as the burns healed and pain dwindled, if it wasn't for the suspicion that I knew where I was. I rolled, getting onto my belly so that I could easier raise my head and look around. More trees spread out in every direction, casting deep shade, even where the sun broke through several gaps in the cloud layer overhead.

"Um, guys, where are we?" I asked meekly, gazing around. I could see a crumpled form of a pegasus nearby, the mare, her armor looking scorched, her guns twisted into odd shapes.

"I grabbed you and Flux after the megaspell detonated." Paint Splatter said. Oh princesses, we had just been caught in a megaspell blast?! "Flux was saved from most harm by your body and pack saddle shielding him. You had serous burns to your face, neck, and limbs, though your pack saddle kept your back shielded. I found the pegasus mare as I was carrying you out of the blast zone. She was alive so I brought her with us. I spotted this forest in the distance, and though it would make the safest place to recover in." Oh crap.

I staggered to my feet, ignoring the wobbliness in my legs. I turned to her, seeing the blackened formerly pink paneling on one side of her. Thankfully, the container holding her brain seemed intact. "You should rest." She said worriedly.

"Not here I can't." I said. I spotted my pack saddle nearby. The cloth bags were beyond saving, but my metal ammo cans were intact, if at least a bit blackened. I managed to slip it on before guzzling another healing potion from inside. Flux moved over to me, his pipbuck clicking lightly when he neared the pack saddle. I downed a rad-x and radaway while I was at it. When we got to water, I was going to have to try and scrub as much radiation as I could off it.

"Whats wrong, why can't we stop here?" Flux asked, waving a hoof at the deceptively peaceful forest. "Its nice."

I looked to him, raising an eyebrow. "Kid, this is the everfree forest. Don't believe your eyes. Pretty much everything here is out to kill you. We need to get out, now."

I turned to ask Paint Splatter which way she had brought us in, as that was likely the safest route out, when I spotted the pegasus mare again. She was still unconscious. If we left her here, she was as good as dead. I sighed, and trotted over to her. "Can we help her?" I asked Paint Splatter.

"Possibly, I'm not a doctor, but first step would be to get her out of the armor to see how bad her injuries are." She said. We worked at this for several moments, and finally succeeded in getting it off her. It turned out her coat was a light blue, with a mane of a dark grey. The armor seemed to have protected her for the most part, but her helmet had been struck with something, bending it out of shape and leaving a bleeding wound on her head. I poured part of a healing potion on her head, and dripped it slowly into her muzzle until she started to awake. She opened her eyes, looking up at us, then she cursed and lunged back.

"Where have you taken me!" She demanded, looking around with anger and confusion. "Where are the others?"

"Your in the everfree forest" I said, keeping practicallity aimed at the hostile pegasus. "We moved you after that freaking megaspell blew your ship out of the sky, and you'd probably be dead without us, so your welcome."

She just glared at us. "Give me back my armor." She growled, pointing to were it lay at my feet.

"No, I don't think so." I responded. True, it was damaged, and the guns wouldn't likely work, but I wasn't giving her working armor while we were still here. "Tell you what, we go this way" I waved behind me. "And you stay here. You can take your armor once we are gone. Then you might want to get out of here, the forest isn't exactly friendly." Almost as if the forest was agreeing, several trees in the distance creaked and fell over as something big moved through them. She didn't seem happy, but nodded. I motioned for the others to move, and backed away, keeping my weapons aimed at the pegasus mare. Once the others were out of sight, I turned and quickly trotted away as I heard her rush to her armor. I joined the others, and we moved, following Paint Splatters directions towards the edge of the forest. Fortunately for us, she hadn't gone far into the forest. Probably the main reason we had lived this long. I could smell smoke in the air, and wondered how a fire had managed to get started here, and if it stood a chance against the forest.

When I saw the edge of the tree's before us, I quickened my gate. I wanted to get out of here as fast as possible. So I didn't notice the low noise in the earth until just to late. I leaped to the side, but a blue vine tore out of the earth right at my feet. Before my leap carried me out of reach, I felt it graze my leg.

Pain exploded in my back and head. I felt my ribs and skull were trying to push their way out of my body. I fell back to the ground, writhing and screaming as I bucked desperately at my saddlebags in panic. I was barely aware of Flux and Paint Splatter trying to approach, and had just enough power of mind to scream "Get back, poison!" before the pain completely wiped thought from my mind. Then, a metal limb grabbed me, pulling me away from the blue vines which tried to lash out, but couldn't quit reach. Apparently, Paint Splatter could extend her legs a good couple body lengths, and she simply pulled me away, plopped me on her back, and ran. We didn't get far. I was in to much agony to think properly, kicking wildly, and fell off. Then, my foot finally caught the quick release from my packsaddle, and the pain in my back started to die down.

I felt Paint Splatter grab me again, and I was aware enough now to gasp "Get us out of the forest." before grabbing the pack saddle in my hooves. Thankfully, she didn't question me, and in moments, we were out of the forest and heading into a freshly blasted waste. She kept going for a while, I'm not sure how long, but when my head finally started to clear, I told her to stop and put me down.

Shakily, I climbed to my legs. The pain was almost gone now, and I needed to know what the poison joke had done. I knew it's affects. Transformations, sick curses, instant death. I wasn't dead, but that left a lot of possibilities open. I felt each leg, still had four, I could see and hear, and, turning slightly, saw Flux staring openly, jaw hanging open. Paint Splatter also stood motionless, brain case flashing between colors fast. I stared at her. Or, more accurately, at my reflection in her dome. My head was wrong, something seemed to be growing out of it. I put a hoof up, and felt something hard. Trying hard to control my panic, I tore into my saddlebags and brought out an old compact from the junk side. The mirror was still mostly intact. I looked, and stared at the long curling horn now emerging from my head.

"I'm a bucking unicorn!" I half shouted. But, oddly, Flux, expression unchanged, shock his head. Confused, I turned the compact to view the rest of me. And saw two grey feathered wings growing out my back.

"Oh Fuck." Was all I could say. I was a freaking alicorn.

Level Up

New Perk Added: Your an Alicorn Scrounger: You have gained the atributes nessesary to use magic and fly. The downside? Most of the wasteland will shoot you on sight.

Author's Note

Happy April Fools Day!