My Little Weight Problem: Fried Chips is Magic
Ponyville arose to the sound of birdsong, a chorus of aviary creatures filling the sweet morning air with a cantata at dawn. Twilight Sparkle's house was for once serene, with Twilight herself sleeping soundly, having her usual dream of becoming the best magic user that ever was, outshining Celestia and spreading friendship to all of Equestria with her magic. She smiled weakly and waved her hooves in the air in her sleep, pulling facial expressions of idle conversation without actually opening her mouth. Suddenly, she was violently shaken on the shoulders by a hasty pair of purple claws. "Twilight! Wake up, you've got a letter from someone!" Twilight groggily opened her eyes. "Ooh, Spike... lemme get up first..." Spike placed the letter on to Twilight's face. It smelled of grease and was covered in small crumbs. She grabbed it off her face and squinted at the text:
"Dear Twilight Sparkle,
If you are reading this message, it means I am no longer in Equestria. I am currently trapped in a land known as Cholestria, a mirror world to our own that is populated solely by overweight ponies. I originally created it as a banishing grounds for ponies who ate too much of our food during the early days of Equestria, when food supplies were low, to discourage ponies from hogging supplies and to instil basic morals in the people of Equestria. And as you can see, as harsh as that sounds, it has worked wonders for Equestria. Have you ever seen a fat pony before?
People are automatically banished to Cholestria by a special enchantment if they eat over a certain quota of food, and this quota can change depending on how many calories certain food items have. Somepony must have tempted me with a large amount of fattening food, and I must have given into temptation and lost myself in the moment. This probably triggered the enchantment, and now I am trapped in Cholestria. The only way you can get to me is-"
The rest of the letter was obscured with chocolate stains, and upon vigorous rubbing by Twilight, it smeared the ink underneath the chocolate, rendering the rest of the message illegible. Spike lay on the floor panting, with his tongue sticking out. "Ugh, I think I gained three pounds just barfing that thing out..." Twilight crumpled up the letter and threw it into her bedside bin. "Well, judging by the paper they've used, and the fact that they mention that they created a world, that could only be one person..." Suddenly, the front door burst open, and Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were standing at the doorway. "Hey, Twilight, Celestia's gone!" Twilight and Spike peered from upstairs down at the others waiting for them. "One second, I'll meet you outside in a moment, I need to get ready!"
* * *
Twilight and her friends all convened in the throne room of the Royal Palace, where a dozen or so Royal Guards were standing around, inspecting the scene of the crime. One of the Royal Guards approached Twilight. "Sorry, good citizens. You are prohibited from the premises until we have established..." The Royal Guard looked closely at Twilight. "Oh, sorry, Ms. Sparkle. Go right ahead." The Royal Guard allowed Twilight and her friends around the throne room to see if they could piece together the clues that were left behind. A vacant and toppled chair. A table, covered in crumbs. A note from the Cake family saying 'Happy Birthday, Your Highness!' A mostly eaten-out cake, with a slicing knife still embedded in the side. And most damningly, Celestia's crown, covered in icing and crumbs.
Twilight and the others spent the next few hours combing over the scene of the crime, laboriously poring over every little detail, comparing the handwriting of the note to the actual Cake family, checking the cake for any enchantments or curses, and even inspecting the statue of Discord to see if it had been tampered with in any way. However, despite their efforts, none of the evidence seemed to amount to anything. The only conclusion they could come to was that Celestia was in Cholestria. They hadn't figured out how to get there, or how to get her back. At the end of the day, they all regrouped in Sugarcube Corner at the end of the day, looking morosely at their on-the-house cupcakes.
Applejack batted her cupcakes from side to side, sulking. "Ah can't believe we ain't figured out where in tarnation Celestia went to!" Rainbow Dash took a sombre bite from her cupcake. "This isn't right! There's always a solution to our problems!" Fluttershy looked at her cupcake nervously, unsure whether she should eat it or not. "Oh, umm, I'm sure we'll figure something out, y'know... some time..." Rarity turned her nose up at her cupcake. "Well, I'm simply baffled by this whole mess. It's not like Celestia to leave us in the dark like this." Twilight Sparkle looked longingly at her cupcake, following the contours of the marble pattern with her eyes. "Well, we've looked at everything we could have possibly looked at. There is nothing else we can do except wait for a miracle to drop on our laps..."
Suddenly, Pinkie Pie walked over and placed a large cake on the table. "Hey girls! Got you some more cake for afters!" Pinkie looked at her friends, who all looked dissatisfied and disappointed. "Oh, are you all still bummed about not finding where Celestia went to?" She sat down next to Twilight, procuring a cupcake for herself and taking a massive bite out of it. "Come on, you guys! Aren't you hungry?" They all looked to each other, looked at the cupcakes, looked at Pinkie Pie, then looked at the cake in the middle of the table. Twilight Sparkle jumped in the air in ecstasy. "That's it, Pinkie Pie! Why didn't we see this before?" She took a huge bite out of her cupcake and raised it to the air. "Time to commence Operation Belt-Buster!" Applejack raised her eyebrow at Twilight. "What in the hay is a belt?"