Author's Note

Well here it is. The next chapter.

Chapter 2: Very

Twilight didn't know what to do. Here was a creature that somehow murdered some of the most dangerous predators of the Everfree, an now it was inviting them into its home.

"Mi casa es su casa," It said, walking to the campfire as if nothing was wrong.

Lowering her horn and charging a spell. Twilight cried out, "S-Stop!" It looked at her, still smiling even after seeing the alicorn ready to blast him. The others looking at them in worry, they didn't want anypony else to get hurt.

Turning to Twilight, "Yes?" He asked, smiling his tooth filled grin. Squinting at the bright purple light. His head turned slightly to see Rainbow Dash trotting next to Twilight, glaring at him, the front half of her body lowering to the ground as if she was getting ready to pounce.

"Let's do this, Twilight, we can take him," she grinned at the creature. Her wings flaring as she got ready for a fight.

A brow raised on his face. "Take me? Take me where?" He asked in genuine confusion.

Tilting her head slightly upward to look at the creature, Twilight replied, "What? Nowhere! We aren't going anywhere."

Turning back towards his fire, he spoke. "Well, I'm going over here, quite thirsty after all. Would any of you like a drink?" Walking to a log next to the campfire, he pulled a small metal pot out from behind it, the sound of liquid sloshing filling the silence. Setting the pot against the fire, he turned back to the log. Going back and pulling out a small pile of wooden bowls. He walked back over to the six mares with the bowls in hand. Handing them each a bowl to drink from.

"Why do ya have so many bowls? Ain't it just you out here?" Applejack asked, bowl in hoof.

"Yes it is just me, but you never know when you're going to have guests over. Or have to nurture someone who got lost in this forest, or set off one of my traps," he said, murmuring the last part.

Twilight stepped forward. "Wait a minute! Are you going to act like the pile of d—" she paused, a lump in her throat. "That the pile of dead animals in the other room doesn't exist?" Looking to Fluttershy, she saw her timid friend with sit there, bowl in mouth with tears welling in her eyes. Fluttershy just wanted to forget, only hoping that their deaths were quick and painless.

"Hm? Oh those, well those are useless to me now, so I couldn't care any less if something happens to them," he said plainly with a shrug.

"But how could you kill them in the first place?" Twilight asked, stamping her hoof to the stone cave floor. The resounding 'clop' echoed throughout the cave. "And what were you even doing with them in the first place?" She remembered the dancing, the smell that seemed to surround them. The magic. She'd never seen any type of magic like it.

"Well, they were being used in an experiment, now, I guess they're just some extra food, can't let it all go to waste," he turned back to the campfire and walked to the pot, the sound of the crackling fire filling in the silence.

The six friends only stared, a million thoughts running through their heads as they heard the creature's reply. Scared that the creature before them was not only a cold blooded killer, but one that also devoured living creatures.

Taking the pot and removing it from the fire, the creature dipped his bowl into the liquid. Bringing it up to his face, he tipped the bowl and opened his mouth, the liquid was mostly clear, only a slight tint of blue giving any indication that something was added. Spilling some, the liquid ran down the side of his mouth and dripped off of his chin.

"Ah," he sighed, wiping his mouth with his forearm. "Tastes like blueberry." Dropping the bowl to the ground with a clatter, he turned around to his guests. Only to be greeted by the sight of the ponies gathered up and in defensive postures, the yellow pegasus cowering behind the rest. Fear in their eyes but determination on their faces. "What's this?" He asked, gesturing to the bowls on the gound with a sweep of his arm.

"D-Don't move!" Twilight shouted.

"Odd, you sound like you're making a demand."

"I-I am! We're going to take you to Celestia, she'll know what to do with you!" The others murmured in agreement, the only one who was

The creature visibly tensed at this, his whole body locking in place, and his grin wilting slightly at the mentioning of Celestia. "She's already done enough, I've payed for my crimes, now I'm a free man. And I won't let ponies like you take that away from me. I haven't hurt anyone this time."

"A creature as dangerous as you shouldn't be free to roam and hurt anypony," Twilight said, her horn glowing as the spell was held back.

"Are you deaf? I haven't hurt any of you ponies, only animals, besides the dragon. But he deserved it, thinking he could threaten and evict me from my home, and here you all are, doing the same," he gave a chuckle. "I have to ask though, do any of you like jokes?"

Pinkie Pie, who has been quiet the whole time, yelled out. "Ooh ooh, I do! I do!" This caused the rest of them to lower their guard. Wondering what the creature was going to do.

Turning back to the log, the creature bent over and picked up what seemed like clothing. Beginning to wrap the green cloth around his hand as he spoke up. "One day, a stallion was taking his cart up through the mountain. In a stroke of bad luck, the wheel broke off, causing him to stop his journey. Fortunately for him there was a group of monks that lived not far from where he was. Taking his cart to them he asked for help. Being the kindhearted monks that they were, they gave him shelter until they fixed his wheel. During his stay he happened across a door, it was like the rest but something was different, there was a strange noise coming from behind it."

Finishing his wrapping, he picked up the necklace and put it on, the plates shining in the light from the fire. "Once they fixed his cart, he thanked them, the door coming to his mind the moment before he set off. Turning to the monks, he asked about it. They told him they couldn't say, because for he was not a monk. Satisfied with the answer, he left. Only to wind back up on the very same road a year later. The wheel to his cart broken once again. Going to the very same monastery, the monks helped him once more, remembering him from his last visit. Once again, he came across the door, the same noise coming from behind it. He asked again, but got the same reply he did the year before. Unsatisfied this time, he asked on how he could become a monk." Getting onto his knees, the creature looked at the liquid inside the pot, reaching a hand into it to stir slightly.

"They told him he had to go out into the world and count all the grains of sand, and the blades of grass. Knowing this, the stallion set out on his mission, to finally know what was behind the door. Ten years later, the man comes back, telling the monks of his enlightening journey, that he counted one-hundred trillion, five-hundred and fifty-three billion, sixty-two million and forty-eight grains of sand. Nodding at this, they asked about the grass. He told them he had counted one-hundred and sixty two trillion, nine-hundred and seventy-two billion exactly. After that they had made him an honorary monk. Asking about the door that had made the noise all of those years ago, they took him to it and gave him a wooden key. A wooden key for a wooden door. Opening it, he came across another door, this one made of stone. Without question the monks handed him another key, this one stone."

At this point, the ponies had gone back to normal, just standing there with looks of confusion on their faces. Why was there another door behind that door? What was making that noise?

"Behind that door, another door, this one made of metal. Opening it as well, he came across another door, one made of gold."

"Oh come on!" Shouted Rainbow Dash. "Just get to the funny part!"

"Fine fine. Doing this for a solid hour, the monks had told him he reached the last door. The stallion sweating in anticipation at the thought of finding out what was behind that door. Handing him the last key, the stallion opens it. The door itself creaking open, the stallion finally seeing what was behind it..."

"Just tell us what was behind the door!" Rainbow Dash shouted once again.

Giving a grin that seemed to reach from ear to ear, he looked at the mares before him, cloth wrapped around his hand, his arm dripping with blue liquid. "But he can't tell you, for you are not a monk."

The mares before him, looked up with betrayal in their eyes. A look that asked one question, 'why?'

Quickly bending over, the creature picked up the pot in his hands, the cloth covered one holding the bottom. Throwing the contents of the pot at them. Dousing them in the blue liquid from head to hoof. Giving cries of dismay they tried to shake away the liquid. Only to be stopped as flashes of light filled the room. Their bodies changing one by one. The creature cackling at them.

"What was that?!" Twilight asked.

Breaking in his laughter, he replied. "Concentrated poison joke, tasty to me, hilariously inconvenient for you."

Trying to charge her magic, she found that the horn atop her head wouldn't work. Looking to her friends she noticed the same effects of the poison joke on them. Rarity's hair, Pinkie Pie's tongue, Rainbow Dash's backwards wings. She couldn't see Applejack from where she was standing, and Fluttershy seemed normal enough.

Looking back at the creature, Twilight watched as he stared at her friends and her. "What are you going to do with us?"

He raised an eyebrow. "What made you think I was going to—" But he was cut off as a golden beam of magic hit him in the back, the magic itself spilling out towards the six mares. Sending him flying over them. Standing behind him was a furious looking Celestia.

"Are you alright girls?" She asked, her head lowered and horn charged.

"Princess!" They all cried. Galloping towards Celestia's side.

"Oh yes, hurrah, the princess is here," The creature said, coughing as he got up from the stone floor. Blood spattering the floor as he coughed. "Knew you would show up eventually, but I didn't think you'd miss again. Aim a little higher next time will ya?" He asked, tapping his head with a claw. Smiling a blood stained, tooth filled grin.

"I will not stoop to your level, beast," Celestia snarled.

"Well, you might as well have, would have been easier than Tartarus," he laughed. "Instead of just ending it then and there, you just prolonged the inevitable. And now you'll never get the chance to stop me."

"Enough, you're going back where you belong," she said, her horn charging back up with her golden aura.

The creature's toothy grin wilted slightly at this. Rarity saw this through her mess called hair. Almost tripping on said hair as she stepped towards the creature, she spoke up. "Why are you so angry about learning magic? If you hate it so much why do you use it to commit such—" Rarity gagged at the thought of the room from before. "—heinous acts?"

"Heinous? Oh you wound me so," the creature said with hurt expression and a paw on his chest. "In the long run, I've saved a couple of ponies from being eaten. So I would say my actions were quite noble."

As the creatures body became enveloped in Celestia's magical glow, he spoke. "And I'm nothing if not noble. I'm even willing to strike up a deal. Not unlike the one Discord had taken." With his entire body enveloped in her magical aura, Celestia levitated the creature over to her, making sure he wasn't able escape.

"How do you know about Discord?" Celestia asked, her horn illuminating her face.

"I've been in this forest for a while, dear. Hearing things is all I can really do." He paused for a moment, his face twisting in thought. "It seems our time together is about to come to an end, I have to go run an errand of mine. So if you would be so kind as to put me down, I'll be on my way."

Celestia glared at him.

"Oh fine. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

"Oooh! How do you know about Pinkie Promises?! Are you a spy?" Pinkie asked, her mane blasting back to it's regular state.

"In a way, yes."

"How long have you been out here?" Celestia asked, her face becoming emotionless as she looked at the creature still in her magic.

"A little before your fellow princess here moved into town." He gestured towards Twilight with a sweep of his hand. "A year before she arrived here in fact."

A minute passed and the creature was still not released from Celestia's magic. Sighing, he coughed awkwardly and spoke, "Would it ease your mind if what I wanted to do is something I can do in this cave? Can't really run if you're here, even if I try to teleport myself, you'd just pull me back through."

Celestia loosened her magic and watched as he stretched his limbs. "What was it that you wanted to do?" Her only reply was him turning around an walking back deeper into the cave.

"Do you know what Tartarus is like, Celestia?" He laughed. "It's hot, the reception sucks, and the food is even worse."

Watching the creature walk, the ponies looked between each other for a moment before following him into the cave. The blood spattered room fresh in their minds as they tried to ignore the stench that was quickly trying to choke them.

"Let me give you a lesson on the human diet," he said as he turned the corner. "While ponies are mainly herbivores, there have been cases where they turn carnivore. A lack of food would do that to anybody. Humans however, are omnivorous, meaning we take in both plants and meats. A lack of food for us usually leads to death, but there's always that rare moment when someone decides to eat someone else."

As the creature stopped before the pile of flesh, he turned to look at Celestia and the others. They were all focusing their gazes on him, trying to not look at what laid on the stone floor behind him. His feet disturbing the crimson pool underneath him.

"I spent my years in Tartarus starving to death, only to be revived by magic," the creature laughed. "Magic, like that's much of an explanation."

Looking down he tapped a foot in the blood with the glee of a child in a puddle of rain. "Nice and chilly," he whispered.

"Girls, you can go back home, I'll deal with him," Celestia said without taking her eyes off of him.

"And besides, I don't think any of you would like seeing me eat. Well, Rainbow and Fluttershy might be able to handle it, but I don't know about the rest."

The group of friends said nothing, only taking their eyes off of the creature to look at Celestia. One by one, they turned to leave, trusting their princess to be able to handle the creature.

"Risky move, letting the greatest weapon in her disposal leave like that, let's see what she does next."

"The farther they are away from you, the better."

Slapping a hand onto his chest, he gasped. "How dare you insinuate that I was a danger to them. When it comes to innocents I am no more dangerous than Discord." Once the words left his mouth his jaw dropped and his eyebrows raised. "Oh wait, Discord earned himself a lifetime of petrification for turning the roads into soap!"

The pool of blood splashed up his leg as he stamped a foot. Leaving trails of blood on his pale skin as they dripped back to the floor "And what would I get huh? Murder is pretty bad, so I got the death sentence. But wait! Death is to tame for a crime so foul! But what's worse than death? Double death?! It's poetic fucking justice that I got to starve to death every week for the next thousand years!"

Celestia stepped back as the once smiling man was now clawing at his head and grinding his teeth. The veins in his head popping out as the muscles in his jaw and neck flexed and contorted. The pale skin that covered his face was now blushing to a cherry red.

"Every day was like a dream, waking up one moment, and then doubling over in the pool of blood I coughed up earlier as I felt that whore magic reach in and claw out my fucking gut! Rinse and fucking repeat!"

Turning around the creature knelt to the floor and sighed. "You left me there to rot, and the only thing I could do from then on was rot."

Reaching forward, the creature dug its hands into the flesh before him. His body turning and adjusting as his arms flexed and pulled meat from bone. "I changed my mind, I don't want a deal like Discord. If you want peace you can kiss my ass and say you're sorry. If not, you can just leave me alone, because I want nothing to do with you or your piss-pants ponies. I've already had my fill."

The creature stopped speaking as he shoveled meat into his mouth. Chuckling as he ate.

Celestia glared at the back of the creatures head until her gaze softened and she sighed. "If I hear of anything happening involving you, I will not hesitate to come down here myself."

Swallowing the food in is mouth he proceeded to shake his hands. "Oooh," he mocked. "Please, if I wanted to do something, I would have done it back when your sister came back from the moon."

Once again, he was silenced as he brought more meat to his mouth. His face returning to its smiling state as he ate to his heart's content.

"Such a tear filled reunion. Would have been a real shame if someone... I don't really know what I would have done. Something funny... to me at least."

Celestia grimaced. Turning around she began to leave the cave, the clopping of her hooves on the stone matched by the mumbling of the human, the occasional chuckle escaping through his food filled mouth.