Sweetie Belle's Diary

by lordnyan

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Tragedy, Slice of Life
Length: 3685

Sweetie Belle start's a Diary to record her thought's and emotions while recovering from attempting suicide.

Sweetie Belle start's a Diary to record her thought's and emotions while recovering from attempting suicide.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-26 23:09:38 UTC

Chapters 1-10

Dear Diary,

So today i got my very first Diary......Though i guess being the diary you already knew that? Anyway Rarity got this...You...Dammit it...THIS for me after my psychiatrist suggested i start writing my thought's and feelings down. Not sure if she plans on reading these or not everytime i got back to see her, she said it would help me better understand my own problems as well as help her try to guide me in fixing them so i guess she probably does plan on reading these entries.

Anyway, what should i talk about. Well first off it's weird watching this pen magically write every thought i think rather then me having to physically write it with my mouth. I suspect she wanted me to use this so i can't think about whether i actually want to share something i let slip or not, the fact that i can't erase it is even weirder.

Oh Apple Bloom and Scootaloo came around to visit me, it was nice as i have not been able to see them all that much ever since i tried to k.......Well you know. They signed my cast and we played Monopony for a few hours, which i lost to Apple Bloom, before they both had to head home. They also brought me my makeup homework since i am having to miss school until this whole Psychiatric mess is all sorted out. Normally i don't mind missing a day or two of school, but after a few weeks of this i'm starting to miss being able to hang with my friends at lunch and what not. Maybe it would not be so bad if i was at least allowed to hang with them on the weekends, but noooooooo. I know and agree that killing another pony deserves severe punishment, but trying to....Do so to yourself? Kind of overkill. I know Rarity says it's just for my own safety until they are sure i am no longer "Suicidal" but this whole house arrest thing is driving me crazy with cabin fever.....Or Boutique fever i should say.

At least Rarity allows Apple Bloom and Scootaloo to come visit me, and i am grateful that they try to do so everyday whenever they get the chance. With school however it's mostly limited to just the weekend, so for most my week i'm stuck here with only Rarity for company.....IF you can even call her company. I admit when we first got back from the hospital/ Looney Lounge she seemed to be generally trying to spend more time with me, but now it's back to dresses, fashion, and worrying how big her butt looks........Ok did you SERIOUSLY have to write that down diary?

Anyway i better close now and get some sleep, i think i hear Rarity's stupid cat having her nightly freak out which means it must be midnight. Some ponies say that pet's and their owners are a lot a like, and i could not agree more. Because i HATE them both!!!!

Dear Diary,

So today was.....Interesting to say in the least. Rarity had to leave to deliver a big order to one of her client's all the way over in Canterlot as she was behind schedule, and did not have time to deliver it via the post office like she normally does for clientele outside of Ponyville. This meant i got the house ALL TO MYSELF. Rarity was unsure about leaving me alone even for just one single day, but as she could not find anyone to deliver her dresses or watch over me for the day, she had no other choice. She did get Applejack and Twilight to come and check on my every once in a while, but other then that it's just been me....Oh and Rarity's stupid cat.

It was actually kind of nice being able to do things like make lunch for myself for once, don't know why Rarity thinks it's so dangerous for me to be making a bucking sandwich. I mean it's not like i can kill myself with a simple ham and cheese sandwich right? However she was careful to make sure there were pieces of cheese already cut up, and then locked away all the knives high above the cupboard so i can't get to them, even with my magic. I swear i feel i am being treated like some common criminal or something with all this none sense, even though i realize it's just for my own protection.

Rarity also made sure to shut and lock all the upstairs windows, had Twilight place a magical barrier on the stairs and confine me to staying downstairs, and even have me wear this stupid helmet.....This kind of reminds me of that time when Applejack went all overprotective of Apple Bloom. At least then it was just her, and Apple Bloom's other relations and Applejack's friends did not encourage her to continue her overprotective behavior. Unlike with Rarity where her friends and my parent's are actually agreeing with and even helping her with it.

Anyway i think i hear Rarity calling for me, probably to make sure i haven't crawled up a vent and died or some other stupid thing i would never do....

Dear Diary,

Today when i asked Apple Bloom for advice on being happy she told me she looks up to her big sis and tries to think like she would when confronted with a problem. So today i tried to reach out to my inner Rarity by wearing a giant frou frou hat, and spent most the day in front of a mirror complaining how big my butt looks. It didn't help me with my homework, but at least i got a good laugh out of it.

Anyway now that we are in Middle School we get to take what's known as "Extracurricular Activities" along side our Academic classes such as Math, Science, and Equestrian Language. For mine i picked "Creative Writing", and "Choir". Oh i should probably also mention that

i have been officially released from house arrest......Well sort of. I'm allowed to go to School at least but i still have to come home straight away unless there is some after school function i need to attend, which of course led me to join as many after school clubs with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo as possible. Seriously still don't get WHY i am being forced to stay home because of one stupid little accident that hurt nopony other then me.... Like seriously, there acting as though i robbed

a bank or something...

So for my Creative Writing course we seem to spend most our time writing essays about random topics that seem meaningless to me, such as "Explain in your own words why or why not you think the rich so pay more taxes then the poor" or "Explain in your own words the importance of the invention of the printing press" and just a whole bunch of stuff i'm sure nopony cares about. The reason i took the class was to learn better writing AND to be more creative with my writing, such as character and plot development within a story. I mean at least i am learning a lot about using proper grammar, sentence structuring and all that stuff, but it would be nice if they went more into the creative aspect of the writing. I mean the class is called CREATIVE Writing and not ESSAY Writing or JOURNALIST Writing...

On a final note Rarity's cat is being super annoying and has been scratching at my door for the past hour none stop. I've tried kicking her outside the house but she always managed to get back in. Maybe i should mail her to Saddle Arabia instead. Then again that might be a tad cruel......To the Saddle Arabian's i mean.

Dear Diary,

So today for homework our teacher assigned us to write some stupid five hundred word essay on the importance of the invention of pluming. Just WHY do they make us write such long essays on such STUPID subjects? I mean WHO CARES about ANY of this stuff??? The only and best answer

i could come up with was that it keeps our disgusting digestive and other waste from flooding the streets. However it sadly does nothing about my waste of a sister and her annoying offspring!!!!

This is not the FIRST time I've ever had to write a ridiculously long essay on redundant matters thought. Just last week we were asked to write a ten page essay on the importance of William Shakespeare, and the only thing i could come up with for that was that his books make great door stops. Also their great reads for going to bed, because i can guarantee you any of his stories will bore you to sleep in seconds. If THAT wasn't enough then just a year ago we got asked to write a twenty page essay on the first thing we can remember, so i ended up writing twenty one pages about the day i exploded out of my mothers bloated rear end. I failed that assignment but at least everypony thought it was funny....Everypony except my teacher and stupid sister. Then again Rarity probably wouldn't know what humor was if it hit her on the face.....Wait hold on............

Ok i just clobbered Rarity in the face with a copy of Equestria's Funniest Home Videos and she didn't find it funny, so apparently i was right. Of course I've also heard it said that some ponies would not know sarcasm if it hit them in the face now a days....Don't know where i am going to find

something sarcastic to throw at her. Maybe i could carve something sarcastic into a rock and throw that, of course only the biggest one would do.

With that in mind i better sign off so i can go find that rock.

Dear Diary,

       So you know what's even more annoying then older sisters? Their children!!! Like seriously, Clair and T are constantly driving me UP AN EFFING WALL!!!! I swear it's as if life has some kind of vendetta against me or something.Rarity and Spike are supposed to not even be able to bear offspring at all, and yet just to spite me they suddenly become able to.

I admit between the two T is actually not too annoying. Even though he is the youngest he is actually quite most the time and not much of a bother. His older Sister on the other hoof is a complete NIGHTMARE!!!! She destroys EVERYTHING she get's her mutated little half dragon claws on, luckily mostly it happens to be Rarity's stupid fabric but sometimes she get's into MY room and rips apart my bed sheets, posters, and toys!!), she bites me whenever i get close to her, AND she keeps us all up at night screaming her damn head off!!!

I wonder if ALL older sisters are like this? I know Apple Bloom does not seem to have too much trouble with her older sister, other then her being slightly over protective at times, and Pinkie absolutely LOVES her older sister. Scootaloo really likes Rainbow Dash, but their not really sisters though. She pretends like they are as she has no real family of her own....Speaking of whom Scoot's actually really likes T and Clair, a lot more then me and Apple Bloom do. She mostly feels sorry for them being half breeds, probably because Scoot's is a half breed as well. Her mother was a chicken, her father was a brick.

Anyway i'd better stop writing so i can grab some Tylenol for this stupid headache from having annoying relatives. I can't wait until i am old enough

to live on my own and then i NEVER have to see anypony else in my family EVER AGAIN!!! I'm thinking of moving to Crane-Ada. I'm told they have really good bacon.

Dear Diary

So today Rarity and i got into yet another one of our famous arguments, not that that's anything surprising around here really. This time she was nagging me about the state of my room. She said it was a pigstie and that she could not remember the last time she saw anything so hideous. She got even more mad when i ask her when was the last time she looked in a reflective surface.

Now yes i do admit i have a tendency to leave my things lying about my room and not caring about organization and all that stuff. Ironically Rarity does the same thing, but when SHE does it it's "Organized Chaos" apparently, and when i do it it's a crime against nature. Though personally i think Rarities face first thing in the morning fits that description a lot more....Not to mention her breath.

Anyway i better sign off now as i am watching over her little brat's again and it's their feeding time. At least Clair is becoming more and more easy to care for. All i have to do is let her borrow one of my magazines and giver her a gem sandwich and she stays relatively out of my mane. T on the other hand still being a baby is much harder and constantly needs attention, AND he is a much more finicky eater. If i ever have foals someday i am going to make Celestia damn sure they don't end up like my sisters disgusting abominations.

Dear Diary

  So you know how most of my relatives i live with are dragon or at least half dragon? And you know how they eat gems all the time? Well today probably against my better judgment i decided to try some. By try i mean try eating them.... I know their not for ponies to eat necessarily, but i see my brother in law, nephew and Niece eating them all the time, and i even caught Rarity trying some a few times well pregnant with T. So obviously watching them consume gems on a daily basis has made me curious on what they actually taste like, and what it's like to eat them compared to normal food.

So While T was sleeping and everyone else was gone i took some gems out of Spikes stash. I was a bit hesitant to try them, but after a while i finally put one on my mouth.....Only too spit it back out gagging from the taste. It....Was.....WRETCHED!!!! I can't honestly say i expected it to taste any good, but i certainly was not prepared for it to taste so VILE!!

Anyway if you would excuse me i need to go shove T in the freezer again since he won't SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! Honestly, Rarity and Spike are gone for like two hours and he's already wailing for them to come back. He acts as though they are going to abandon him everytime they leave the house for no more then a minute... Honestly i would not blame them for it if they did. Though personally i think putting him in the garbage disposal would be a better idea....

Dear Diary,

So today i went to see my therapist again due to a stupid misunderstanding. Basically i accidentally tripped over one of T's baby toys causing me to fall down the Boutiques entire flight of stairs. Luckily i was not hurt, but Rarity thought i was making another suicide attempt and immediately set up another appointment with my therapist asap. Even AFTER i showed her the toy i tripped on....

Though i do admit it was quite similar to the time i actually DID attempt suicide...Even if that time i jumped out my window and not down a flight of stairs....I mean HOW would falling down stairs even kill you? Rarity does it all the time by being stupid, and she's never even so much as ended up in the hospital, never mind a morgue.

Anyway the entire appointment started out with her talking about WHY we were there...As if i didn't know. I guess most of her clients are idiots, she probably sees Rarity and Spike a whole lot. Then after hours of trying to convince her i was not suicidal any more, and the whole falling down the stairs thing was just an accident, she moved on to the previous accident which actually was on purpose, and ALL about my depression from mom and dad leaving me with Jabba the Butt and Godzilla full time, so they can spend the rest of their lives on vacation without having to worry about taking care of me.  Followed by years of Rarity complaining about the troubles of taking on her younger sister and her own deranged offspring at the same time, because apparently i am the biggest burden in all of Equestria....

After spending all afternoon cooped up there she FINALLY let me go, though diagnosing me with mild depression......And apparently anger issues.....and scheduling me for another appointment next week. She also i making me take yoga classes to control my emotions and what not, though personally i think there are better ways of releasing feelings of stress and internal rage.

Speaking of which if you will excuse me i have revenge to take out on a certain dragon......In the form of mailing him to Saddle Arabia. Hopefully all of Rarity's stamp collection should be enough to get him there.

Dear Diary,

So i failed at my attempt to send T to Saddle Arabia.....Mostly because T ate Rarity's stamp collection before i could get to it. The good side of this though is T is now locked in her room and Rarity's day is ruined, so i guess i still kind of win.

I'm still having to see my therapist, and i am now also taking anger management training as well. Not sure it's working though.  Of course as i said before, having Rarity as a sister is enough to drive ANYPONY UP AN EFFING WALL!!!! So since i still have to deal with her on a daily basis it's no wonder i am constantly wreathing with internal rage.  I had to sign this form when enrolling (against my will) for these session, and one of the questions was what do you believe is the route cause of your aggression. I answered because everypony in my family is an idiot, but my therapist made me change it.

Speaking of my idiot family, Rarity decided the boutique needed a makeover of sorts and completely replaced the carpet with wooden flooring, and bought a number of those scented fabreezy spray things that automatically spray the air to scent it. The main problem? All of those things are HIGHLY FLAMMABLE, and we live in a house full of DRAGONS!! FIRE BREATHING DRAGONS!!!! Am i SERIOUSLY the only one in this house with an I.Q. over one decibel?

Well on the bright side as long as it goes up in flames while i am out of the house, at least i won't get hurt, and maybe i won't have to see this stupid house or anyone in it ever again!!

Dear Diary,

So the good news for today is Rarity, Spike, and their ugly ass children all hiked about a good fifty miles through the woods today for some charity event, the bad news is they also came back.... But at least i had plenty of alone time for once in a while being they where gone for a good solid five hours. Spent most of it reading some of Uncle Spikes old Power Ponies comics, although sadly he does not have the enchanted ones anymore ever since they were band for being too dangerous apparently.

Also i finally got to spend some of my B-day money from last year that Rarity had on hold due to the accident, and sent in for a brand new laptop. My old one is getting really slow, and is very difficult to play games like Minecraft in. My friend Button Mash has a really high end gaming P.C. with really nice graphics on it, of course his father is super rich being the creator of the Neighstation and what not. Sadly that means he's not around a lot, but at least Buttons has his mom...And me of course.

I actually met Button Mash during one of my Therapy sessions. He was sitting in the waiting room across from me playing on his GamePony. Being we were the only two there i struck up a conversation with him, mostly about gaming since we both are highly into it. Though eventually we also talked about our various family issues, and how families can sometime really truly suck. More then Rarity sucks Spikes balls.....Yea don't ask me how i know that.

After that the two of us became fast friends, we play Minecraft together from our prospective houses, but i also sometimes go to visit him and play some multiplayer games on his Neighstation two. He can't come over to game at my place though as the only gaming device i have is my computer in my room, and Rarity and Spike won't allow me to be up their with him. Of course i can bring Scootaloo and Apple Bloom up with me to play games, but not Button Mash. I guess their afraid we would end up having sex instead of playing games. Though honestly that would be more likely to happen with Apple Bloom being she's a lesbian and a highly sexually active one at that. Not really in a bad way mind you she's not a whore or anything. She just has a high interest in sex after discovering some weird magazine her brother had under his bed.

Anyway better sign off now, i think i hear Rarity calling me, probably mad at me for something again. I wonder if it's because i ate all the cookies while they were gone? Or more likely that i stuffed T in the cookie jar shortly after they came back.