My Language is Music

Chapters

It's not an adventure
It's not a comedy
It's not a tragedy
It's just my story

It's not an adventure

"I still can't believe we're actually doing this!"

So exclaimed my roommate, Vinyl Scratch, as we packed our bags away under our seats. We had a train-car all to ourselves for the ride. I must admit to sharing her sentiment, somewhat; things had escalated from 'crazy idea' to 'plan' to 'action' in as little as a day, and I was shocked at my own impulsiveness.

"This is of utmost importance to me, Vinyl. It is only natural that I should take it seriously."

I was trying to sound confident, but in all honesty this felt anything but natural to me, and Vinyl's comments to that effect were making me question my own judgement. I wondered if perhaps I had been far too hasty.

"I know you're really worked up about this old composer, Octy. It's just that you're not usually so... adventurous."

In case you're wondering, 'Octy' is just my roommate's pet name for me. My given name is Octavia, which seems to be two syllables too much for her to be troubled with.

"It's not an adventure, Vinyl. We're just going to a foreign city to do some research; why, it's no different from the travel-study programs at Canterlot University."

Vinyl flopped on her seat and tossed her head back in laughter. She peered at me over the top of her shades, a wide grin on her face.

"Oh yeah, because they totally send ponies to the changeling hive on a travel-study program. Come on, Octy, this isn't like that at all; I mean, can you imagine? I think we're the only ponies who are going to even be there! We're the only ones on the train, at least."

I could feel the color draining from my face as she spoke about that. To be honest, I'd been prepared for the possibility that there may not be any ponies in sight at the hive; I had been informed that the cultural exchange program wasn't very popular among ponies, and had primarily been used by changelings to visit Equestria. That having been said, I had somehow not put together the idea that this meant I was already away from others of my kind, and I found the realization daunting. Vinyl continued her speech, laughter still in her voice.

"I mean, they invaded Canterlot back in the day, and like, drain love and kidnap ponies and stuff, right? Or something like that? I mean, I know they're not all like that, but it's still kinda funny to think about; we're heading to a city that is basically, like, a bunch of shapeshifting bug-monster ponies, in order to track down information about some mysterious composer. How is that not an adventure?!"

Vinyl had been right in her earlier assertion; I am not, generally, a very adventurous pony. Her analysis of our outing was making me start to consider disembarking before the train started moving towards our destination.

"... Perhaps this was a bad idea. It could be dangerous, and there's no guarantee that what we're looking for is there, anyway, so—"

"Hey, Octy. Don't worry, okay?"

Vinyl walked across the train-car to sit next to me on the bench seat. She gently put a hoof on my shoulder and looked at me with a serious expression before continuing.

"I didn't mean to freak you out, okay? I'm just really excited. It all kinda feels like something out of an adventure book, is all. I'm sure it's not really dangerous; Celestia wouldn't have signed the treaty if she thought it'd put us in danger, right? And I know how important this is to you, so, like... let's give it a shot! Even if they don't know who this 'Cecily' mare was, at least we can snag a few neat souvenirs or somethin', right?"

Honestly, it all cheered me up more than I thought it should; I found myself smiling, despite my nerves. Really, it was her I was worried about; I had decided it was worth the risk to have a shot at finding out the source of the mysterious manuscripts that had shaken the classical music world more than a decade ago, but Vinyl had little interest in that. She was just here to support me – and maybe for a kick or two along the way.

I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened to her.

"I'm sure you're right, Vinyl. I just... jumped into this, so I didn't really consider how foolhardy it must all seem, until you brought it up."

Vinyl snickered, taking off her shades.

"Octy, you always worry too much; I think it's really cool you decided to go after this."

I found myself smirking wryly at her sudden change in attitude.

"I guess that, when compared with your carefree attitude, I must seem a nervous wreck half of the time."

To my surprise, rather than doubling down and asserting her coolness, Vinyl got quiet and looked away, staring out the window. When her voice came back to me, it was slow and thoughtful.

"Nah, Octy. There's plenty I worry about. Heck, there's stuff I'm too nervous to try – that's why I think it's so cool you decided to do this. You're going after what you care about."

Despite knowing each other for so many years, Vinyl had never admitted something like that to me; it came as something of a shock. Normally, she just doubled down on acting silly when things got serious. I considered pushing her for details, but decided against it. We sat in companionable silence until the door to our car slid open, revealing a pair of mares, one green and one blue. The blue one just looked surprised, while the green one smiled and greeted us.

"Oh, hello, there! Would you mind us sharing your car for the journey? I didn't expect to see any other ponies here!"

I glanced at Vinyl, who shrugged with a grin, slipping her shades back on. I gestured at the seat across from us, and the two of them sat down – close enough that their coats were brushing up against each other. The blue mare stayed quiet, watching us with an almost uncomfortable intensity, while the green one chirped up energetically.

"It's so good to see you! I'm Astra, and this is Stargazer. We'd heard that the exchange program was almost exclusively changelings coming to visit Equestria. I was worried I'd be the only pony there!"

Vinyl quirked an eyebrow at that, and I voiced her unspoken question.

"What about Stargazer, there?"

The two mares exchanged an amused glance, and Astra spoke up again.

"Starry here's actually a changeling. I got a job teaching history at the hive, so we're moving there!"

I'll admit, that whole statement took me off guard. I worked my jaw a bit, but it was a while before I could think of anything reasonable to say. Vinyl just had this crazy grin the whole time, which just made things worse. Once I got over it, though, I started asking them all sorts of questions. We were so engrossed in conversation that we hardly noticed when the train left the station – or, the three of us were, at least. Vinyl stayed silent, but that's not unusual for her. By the time we had arrived in the hive, I knew a great deal more about the society I had come to – and where to start my search.

It's not a comedy

Stargazer had done her best to prepare me for the appearance of Hive Chrysalis, but I was still shocked by it when we first stepped off of the platform, saddlebags in tow. Somehow, the sheer size of it was what struck me; despite living under the open sky my whole life, there was something about seeing an entire city have a roof that impressed upon me the scale of it all. It was a massive subterranean city, broken up into 'clusters', each with its own color and appearance.

But the two landmarks that truly caught my eye were the massive underground waterfall, and the massive spire of rock which ran through the center. I stared at the structure – named, fittingly enough, The Spire – and I quailed at its appearance. Much in the way that changeling hooves resemble pony hooves, The Spire resembled the towers of Canterlot; it was a gnarled, jagged mirror of it, with holes and alcoves visible all throughout.

"That's where we're headed. Octavia, are you okay?"

Stargazer's voice broke me from my reverie. She had barely spoken during the train ride, but now she was watching me with an expression full of concern. Astra and Vinyl, meanwhile, had hung back several paces; Astra had begun animatedly talking about all of the things she had heard about, pointing them out to Vinyl, who was nodding enthusiastically and taking it all in.

"Y-yes, I just... it's just, so different."

In reality, my mind had gone back to the rumors I had heard about changelings abducting ponies, bringing them back here. Harvesting love from them. I didn't know if any of those rumors were true, but something about the idea of this being the last thing somepony saw before being imprisoned...

"That's not all that's on your mind, is it? Octavia, I don't know what you've heard, but... maybe it'll put your mind at ease to know that Celestia and Twilight have both been through here; they wouldn't let anything untoward go unaddressed."

I frowned apologetically. It wasn't my intent to bother my new friend, and I almost felt bad about the news of Celestia's presence reassuring me.

"I'm sorry. You're right, it's not all that was on my mind, but don't worry about it. I'll be fine."

Stargazer winked at me, and tapped me on the shoulder as we began walking together.

"You've got me here with you. You'll be fine."

I watched her saunter back to rejoin the others, and I contemplated her behavior. I was all-too-aware that her awareness of my emotional distress was probably a byproduct of her training as an infiltrator; training which was meant to allow her to manipulate others. It put me instinctively on-guard, but I was also aware that she was almost painfully shy; the most I could gather about it was that ponies had not treated her too well since her secret became public.

Despite that, she was trying to be here for me. I wanted to respect that, and so I did my best to be at-ease as we made our way to The Spire. As we walked, we caught many curious glances from passersby; eyes of all colors watched us from every corner of the street. Astra had briefly explained that a changeling's eye-color was related to their 'caste', but I hadn't caught all of the details. What stood out more was the variety of hairstyles; I'd been of the impression that all changelings shared the same hairstyle (or lack thereof), but apparently this had gone out of style within the hive some time ago, and now changelings regularly transformed themselves to have various types of hair.

It was an altogether surreal experience. On the one hand, the hive was far darker than a normal city during the day; while certainly adequately lit, I couldn't help but think of it as a city at night, and yet it felt like a city during the day. The hive was bustling with activity, and as much as I felt like an oddity there, most of the changelings went about their business with nary a thought to spare for our presence. Once I got over my initial trepidation, I found the contrast of the hive's darkness with the glowing crystals and lanterns throughout to be nothing short of breathtaking. I knew I'd be composing songs to capture this feeling for years to come, and I focused on those thoughts while the others trotted behind me and chattered about the sights.

Our arrival at The Spire was hardly climactic; there wasn't even a guard at the imposing entrance. We simply walked inside, and after Stargazer had had a short chat with the receptionist, explaining what all of us were here for, we were sent to a small waiting-chamber nearby. According to Stargazer, some high-level functionary wanted to meet with us. Soon enough, a silver-eyed changeling with a clipboard entered the chamber and called for me; I hesitated, but at the urging of my companions, I strode with him out of the room. Without so much as turning to greet me, he began walking for a spiral staircase on the side of The Spire.

"Lili-Iqqel has called for you; I'm Ezuo-Nihkel, and I'll be guiding you to her. You were inquiring as to our musical history?"

His voice was flat and uninterested. I strode alongside him, watching him carefully, but he seemed engrossed in whatever he was reading; I half-expected him to stumble when we started on the staircase, but he proceeded on easily; it all seemed very routine for him.

"That's, uh... somewhat accurate. Is she a musician?"

He snorted and smirked.

"Hardly. She's the Queen's right-hand advisor, and the overseer of the Cultural Exchange Program; meeting with her is a great honor, you know."

I won't deny some deep unease at the thought that I'd be so close to the Changeling Queen; the very same 'Queen Chrysalis' who had led an invasion on Canterlot, who had all but successfully captured Equestria's capitol, and who had personally injured and incapacitated Princess Celestia. 'Honored' wasn't quite what I felt.

"Ah. I, ah... I'm honored, then?"

I gave a shot at a sincere smile, but it came out uneven. Thankfully, he didn't even seem to notice.

"I'm sure. So, how are you liking the hive so far? Is it just as beautiful as the pamphlets said?"

"It is very beautiful. It's like a city perpetually under nightfall."

"Ooh, that's a good line. I should include that in the next edition of the pamphlets."

"I'm sorry... what pamphlet are you talking about? Was I supposed to get one?"

He quirked an eyebrow at me quizzically, making eye contact for the first time.

"You mean you weren't drawn here by the tourism pamphlets I wrote?"

"Oh, ah, no. I came here to investigate something. I heard that Celestia had found someone named Cecily here...?"

Nihkel froze on the spot, almost as if my words had stabbed him. He just stood there, watching me, which put me quite on-edge. After a few moments, he started to speak, very slowly.

"Oh. Ooohh. So that's why Iqqel wants to speak with you."

"I'm sorry? What's this now?"

He waved me off and started ascending the staircase more quickly.

"I, uh, should let her explain."

If I was nervous before – and I was, I hope you understand – it was far worse now, but his sudden reaction to the name 'Cecily' also evoked a sense of excitement in me; maybe I'd found what I needed after all!

Once we reached the top of the staircase, we opened a large set of double-doors, only for none other than Princess Celestia to almost stumble on me; she gracefully slid to the side at the last moment, and I froze in horror at the near-accident.

"Ah, Miss Melody. It's good to see you again; I hope your meeting goes well."

And that's all she said before she continued walking, some red-eyed changeling chatting with her as they headed down the staircase I had just come from. I worked my jaw uselessly a few times, but I didn't so much as utter a sound in response. I couldn't even count the social faux-pas that had just taken place; I hadn't bowed, she had dodged me and stepped off of the center of the pathway, I hadn't greeted her appropriately... it was a travesty of etiquette.

And yet the primary thing on my mind was that she knew my name. I'd performed at Canterlot Palace before, but I'd hardly expected the Princess of the Sun to know my name. Nihkel just chuckled at my expense while I tried to force a sentence out.

"That, that was Princess Celestia! What's she doing here?!"

"I believe she's heading down to greet Astra and Stargazer, actually. Hrm, I suppose your other companion will be subject to her visitation, as well."

"Whuh?! Buh?!"

I realized that I had apparently just missed out on an audience with the Princess in return for meeting with some mysterious changeling advisor. I almost felt cheated.

"Wow. How did you ever make it as a Speaker?"

Nihkel chuckled at his joke, but I just stared at him in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"Your eyes. Aren't you a Speaker?"

I reared my head back a bit in confusion.

"What's wrong with my eyes?"

"Nothing, just... is it not that way for ponies? Your eyes are purple."

"Does that mean a changeling is a Speaker?"

He nodded, frowning in consideration.

"Perhaps I need to learn more about ponies. It could help with my pamphlets. Anyway, we should get a move-on."

After passing a few more hallways, we came to a large set of double-doors, with a pair of strong guards stationed in front. They let Nihkel in without a word, but they stopped me to look inside my saddlebags. Once satisfied, they let me in, though they eyed me – not with suspicion, but with curiosity, which was somehow even more unnerving. I tried smiling at them sheepishly as we passed through, and then looked around the new room. It was some sort of large antechamber, with several paintings, soft cushions, and a fireplace. Behind a large desk, a single purple-eyed changeling sat, scribbling something down with a quill. She glanced up at us as we entered, and gingerly spat the quill out into a nearby inkwell, before scrutinizing me over her glasses. She idly gestured at Nihkel.

"You are dismissed, Ezuo-Nihkel. Thank you."

Nihkel nodded, and turned around. Something about his smug grin didn't help my nerves. As the doors shut behind me, the changeling behind the desk stood up, and walked around it to stand face-to-face with me. Her eyes were so intense that it felt like she was patting down my soul for hidden weapons.

"You are Octavia Melody, correct?"

"Yes, that's right. And you're... Lily Iqqel, was it?"

She paused a second. There was just the faintest twitching of her eye.

"Just 'Iqqel' is fine."

She raised a hoof, and I accepted her hoofshake.

"I'm told you wished to inquire about... 'Cecily Cambirvir?' "

"Yes, that's correct. Do you know of her?"

"I may, presuming we're thinking of the same person."

That comment took me off-guard. It started to strike me how odd all of this had been; why were the changelings taking this inquiry so seriously, and yet being so cagey about telling me anything? It frustrated me to no end. Well, I'd had enough; I strode over to the desk, and I hefted one of my saddlebags onto it, opening it up so that its contents half-slid out.

"I'm looking for the pony who composed these. Now, I realize that it's very little to go on, but the composer's identity has been a complete mystery to everypony for more than a decade. I heard somepony named Cecily had been found here in the hive, and I was hoping you could tell me if I'd wasted my trip."

Okay, so perhaps I was a bit overly aggressive with the Queen's right-hand advisor, but I was somewhat eager to leave. It was all I could do to maintain some level of composure – no pun intended – about the situation. Iqqel, for her part, politely ignored my tone, and looked over the documents.

"These manuscripts are available in Equestria?"

"Yes, that's right. Nopony knows where they came from, but they're considered a major part of modern classical music!"

Iqqel smiled at that. She practically beamed at me, which caught me entirely off-guard.

"You came to the right place, Miss Melody. The 'Cecily' you're looking for is here; I'll introduce you."

It's not a tragedy

The office Iqqel left me in had plenty of interesting things to examine; between the immaculate craftsmanship of the alcove itself, the ornate desk and office equipment, and the breathtaking view, it wasn't hard to keep myself occupied for a few minutes. Despite the grandeur of the sights, however, I found myself fixated on something far more mundane; a pair of violins, hanging from the wall. I could just barely make out a patched-up crack along the other surface of one, which appeared to have been mended with some sort of semi-transparent, green glue. The other one had a similar line of glue running around the perimeter of its handle. The idea of this beautiful instrument with a snapped-off handle sent a shudder through me.

It all raised many questions for me. I wondered what had happened to the instruments, why they were hanging in this office, and why Cecily was here. Had Cecily been kidnapped by changelings? Or perhaps 'Cecily' was simply some disguise for a changeling in Canterlot? But then why the secrecy?! Wouldn't they wish to bask in the love of their fans? None of the theories I came up with seemed to make sense of it all, but it was the office that bothered me the most; clearly it belonged to a musician or music fan of some sort, but it seemed to be at the very top of The Spire. Why such a prominent location? To me, it almost seemed like a place for a ruler, not a composer.

And no sooner had I considered that possibility than the sound of the office doors opening startled me. I saw Iqqel lead in none other than the Changeling Queen herself, Chrysalis; I hadn't seen her before, but I recognized her easily enough from both descriptions and images. Everything from her imposing height, slender frame, and flowing blue mane to her gnarled horn and blue-green thorax had been the subject of countless depictions, though none so much as her piercing emerald eyes.

Eyes which I suddenly noticed were not emerald at all, but rather a flat, light-grey color. The sudden appearance of the queen set me on edge, but my trepidation was short-lived; she stumbled on her way into the room, and only Iqqel's steadying hoof over her barrel kept her from falling over entirely. Together, they slowly made their way to a small couch on the side of the room, with Iqqel quietly murmuring what I supposed were instructions to her; when Iqqel gave the word, Chrysalis gingerly reached her hoof out, feeling for the couch, and then slowly clambered onto it. Throughout the entire exercise, Chrysalis' eyes had been directed up, at nothing in particular.

It embarrasses me to say so, but I stared at her through the whole spectacle. Her behavior left no real room for doubt in my mind; Chrysalis was, for whatever reason... blind. I was still processing that utterly bizarre fact when Chrysalis spoke up.

"Thank you, Iqqel. That will be all."

Iqqel seemed somewhat alarmed, but Chrysalis remained passive. After a moment's hesitation, Iqqel nodded, bowed, and began to retreat from the room, only for Chrysalis to call out to her just before she had crossed the threshold.

"For now. But I had better see you this evening."

Chrysalis winked roughly in Iqqel's direction. Iqqel's response taught me that changelings can, in fact, blush – in fact their entire front body seems to redden significantly in the process – and retreated from the room with a sound somewhere between a chuckle and a choke. I felt my own cheeks heat up, as though I'd been privvy to some particularly private joke, though I was hardly sure of Chrysalis' meaning; she simply had a tone that seemed like it could make anything seem like it had scandalous subtext. As the door to the office shut, I tried to hazard a guess as to proper protocol, and took a seat; it wasn't my first time meeting with individuals of high station, but I'd be lying if I said I had any idea what the proper etiquette in this situation was. To my surprise, Chrysalis' eyes seemed to vaguely track my movement, and she stared at me for a few long moments before addressing me.

"Miss Melody, correct?"

I nodded, and then I immediately mentally berated myself over how useless the gesture was.

"Yes, your, er, your majesty. Simply 'Octavia' is also fine."

I tried to smile reassuringly, before I realized how futile the effort was. I had no idea what her proper mode of address was; I wasn't sure 'highness' was appropriate for a subterranean culture. It was all very stressful for me, but Chrysalis just laughed, waving a hoof idly.

"Octavia. Please, don't worry about standing on ceremony here; you're hardly on official business, right? Didn't you come here to talk about music?"

She stretched out on the couch, and brought her forehooves up to cradle her head as she smiled at me. At least one of us was relaxed.

"That's right. I was told that I'd have a chance to meet with Cecily...?"

Chrysalis merely smirked at me. After a few moments, she laughed softly.

"And look at you, now in a meeting."

"You mean you...?"

Somehow, despite all of the questions, and all of the possibilities I had come up with for answering them, the idea that Chrysalis herself was Cecily had never occurred to me. I made a sort of 'come on' gesture at Chrysalis as my words tapered off, and then her blank expression reminded me that that was futile. I rapped my hoof against my forehead as I lamely added, "... are her? You're Cecily?"

"That's right. Feel free to call me by it; we're meeting as two musicians, after all. This is hardly the place to get distracted by trifles like royal titles."

At first, I took her comment for sarcasm, but her tone and expression were neutral. It slowly dawned on me that she was being serious. She wanted to have a serious discussion about music with me. And she was Cecily. Thus, that meant that Cecily Cambirvir wanted to have a serious discussion about music with me.

You'd be forgiven for thinking that the strange environment, the unexpected nature of my conversational partner, or any other number of circumstantial elements would lessen the impact of that realization. Quite the contrary, the way that this entire situation had crept up on me simply meant that the weight of it all pressed on gradually, slowly increasing the more I thought about what was going on.

Altogether, the result was that I stammered on a bit, and made several unsuccessful attempts at gestures and sentences to make sense of it all. I'd had, as Vinyl would surely have pointed out were she present, my mind blown. Chrysalis, for her part, simply looked around in confusion at the unintelligible sounds I was making.

"Octavia? Are you alright?"

"Yes! Yes, fine, thank you! I just, ah, need a bit of water. Would you like some?!"

I sprang from my seat, and poured myself a cup of water from a convenient pitcher on the desk. Chrysalis just shook her head. After relieving my nonexistent thirst, I retook my seat, noticing that Chrysalis' eyes tracked me in the process, though very poorly. Naturally, I was meeting with my greatest musical influence, and so my mind was consumed with questions that were entirely unrelated to music. I smirked at my own silliness, and decided to ask her the most prominent question on my mind.

"So, Chrysalis, I was—"

"Cecily. 'Queen Chrysalis' is my title – my name is Cecily."

I was taken aback by the energy of her response. There wasn't malice in it, but it almost seemed painful for her. I resolved not to make such a faux pas again.

"Cecily. I'm not sure to start, but... why all of the secrecy in publishing your work? And why did it suddenly stop?"

Chrysalis—No, Cecily, jerked her head back slightly, a confused frown and furrowed brow forming.

"What are you talking about?"

Now it was my turn to look perplexed.

"The way I've heard it, no one knew where any of your work came from. Some nobles just started requesting it to be played, and the Canterlot Conservatory found copies of the manuscripts in their archives. More manuscripts kept turning up, in the strangest places; I've even heard that the manuscript for your 'Dreams of the Sky' symphony showed up under the director's pillow the night before a nobleman asked for it to be played!"

Cecily just gaped at me as I spoke. At the mention of her symphony, I heard her gasp slightly. The confident, seductive persona had faded entirely; I didn't realize just how profoundly my words were affecting her until I'd finished with my short rant.

"Octavia, are you saying that my music is played in Equestria? They know me there?"

"Wha—of course! You're considered one of the most prominent – albeit mysterious – composers of the modern era! I played your solo arrangement in 'Journey – Homecoming' as my audition for the conservatory! My professors argue to this day about whether or not 'What's in a Family' is meant to be played with two pianos or three! I'd say you're... uhh..."

I tapered off my excited outburst when I realized that Cecily had started crying. She was smiling, and was looking downwards, shielding one of her eyes from view with a hoof. After a moment's, she sniffled and wiped at her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I just need a second."

"... You didn't know?"

Chrysalis shook her head, and sniffled again. I leaned back and contemplated the magnitude of that; famous across Equestria, considered a bold pioneer who could break from tradition without losing sight of its purpose... and totally ignorant of the fact. It had been a common thing to theorize that Cecily was perhaps a misanthrope, or some celebrity figure who didn't want to be known for music. Some ponies had even suggested that Celestia herself was secretly Cecily, and that this was something she did periodically in history.

As I watched the changeling in front of me alternate between laughing and weeping, I considered how the truth was, in a way, more simple than most of those rumors; while circumstances may have been complicated, the essence of it was that Cecily was unaware her work was even published. No scheme to hide her identity, no political intrigue. In a way, it was not dissimilar to our meeting; I had conjured many theories, and many concerns, over my trip here, but in the end it had just been a meeting of two musicians. I idly wondered if there was a way I could put the feeling I had at the part I'd played here into music as Cecily recovered and began to speak.

"Actually, 'What's in a Family?' isn't meant to be played with a piano at all."

"Ah! You pronounced it as a question! I kept telling ponies that the song's wandering nature is meant to represent a search for the idea of family, not a summary of the parts of a family! It's really the sombre bridge that gives it away."

Cecily laughed at that, her fangs shining brilliantly. It was less intimidating than I would have thought.

"Changelings here in the hive had the same debate! I was wondering if that was why you pronounced it that way!"

I had a good laugh at that with her, before I really considered the rest of what she had said.

"Wait. But if it's not meant to be played with a piano, what's supposed to handle the complex bridge?"

Cecily grinned mischievously, and I could tell I'd just said what she wanted to hear.

"Why don't I just show you?"

"But how are you... oh."

As I'd been speaking, Cecily's horn lit up, and ghost-like images of instruments flickered into existence all around us. I remembered to breathe about halfway through the ensuing performance.

It's just my story

After Cecily had finished giving me a private concert – an event I can still barely believe occurred – we spoke for many hours on the topic of music. We had our moments of heated debate, where I confess I became quite agitated, and worried that my opinions might end our scarcely-begun friendship. We had many more moments where we took solace in finding a kindred spirit. So wrapped up were we our discourse that neither of us noticed time's passage until a knock came at the door. Iqqel let herself in, glancing at both of us, and then smiled.

"My apologies for the interruption. Miss Melody, your train will be leaving in less than an hour; your companion was worried about you. Should I book another trip for you, and make arrangements for you to stay the evening?"

I started at the revelation that so much time had passed. There were so many questions I had yet to ask! I quickly mulled over Iqqel's offer, but I shook my head.

"I'm afraid not. I told the conservatory I would be back with the results of my investigation later today, so they will be waiting on me, and I'd scarcely like to leave Vinyl waiting..."

Iqqel nodded with a smile, and bowed out of the room. When I looked back to Cecily, I could see she looked faintly downcast. It wouldn't do to leave my new friend in such a state, and I took the opportunity to ask something which had been on my mind, given a few odd things she had said.

"Cecily, have you ever been to a musical concert in Equestria?"

"I can't say I've had the pleasure. Back when music was an active pursuit of mine, I was too young to be allowed out of the hive."

That answered a few more questions I'd been meaning to ask. I'd picked up enough about changeling culture to know that this meant she had been an adolescent when she was composing; she must have been quite a prodigy, to produce the music that she did at that age!

"Well... I'd like to invite you to the conservatory in two weeks' time. We'll be having our annual Murals & Melodies event; three hours of music each day. I'd like you to hear how much ponies appreciate your music firsthoof."

I had tactfully left out the visual-arts part of the event.

"I would... definitely like that. Thank you, Octavia."

Her gentle smile told me volumes more than her voice had. It's still hard to believe that Changeling Queen can smile so sincerely.

"My pleasure. Before I go, there was something I'd been meaning to ask..."

Cecily took on a mischievous grin, which was a bit more in-line with what I would have expected before meeting her.

"I'm surprised you went this long without asking. You're wondering about my eyes?"

"Wha—no, no! I was going to ask how you learned musical theory!"

Of course, I had been wondering about her eyes, but I had just spent several hours trying very hard not to ask about that.

"Oh, is that all? Well, if you must know, an old friend of mine, Piro-Ammon, was an infiltrator. When I was a nymph, he used to regale us with stories of his escapades in Equestria; daring escapes, close-calls, intrigue, heroism, those sorts of things."

While the thought of a changeling infiltrator unnerved me, hearing it from her angle brought to mind heart-warming images of foals around a campfire. She pressed on, her voice taking on a nostalgic, peaceful timbre.

"Half of it must have been exaggerated, of course – and the other half made-up! He was a silly one, but... even at that age, I could tell it bothered him, being split between two places like that. He would often speak of the beauty of Equestrian music, when he wasn't spinning tales... so I asked him to show me. He brought back textbooks, instruments, and even an enchanted music-stand, which would grade the accuracy of a performance to the sheet music on it."

"So you're saying that you just... trained yourself, using all of that?"

"Yes. I know that's a bit strange, since in Equestria there are schools, but it was my only available course."

She shrugged helplessly, and smiled meekly. It would have come as more of a shock to me, but I'd come to suspect something of this nature during our talks; there had been odd gaps in her knowledge, or times when she used her own vocabulary to describe well-known concepts. She had been embarrassed by such things, and had conducted herself with a humility that surprised me; even now, she seemed worried what I would think of her! I laughed without meaning to, raising a confused expression from her. I suppressed my giggles a bit, and tried to reassure her.

"I'm sorry, I just imagined the looks on my teachers' faces! To think, one of the biggest names in modern composition had never stepped inside a conservatory in her life – it would drive them mad!"

We shared a good laugh at that. In a way, I felt awkward; I had stopped thinking of her position in modern music as we had continued our discussions, and referencing it again was strange to me. She was no longer a name in a textbook to me, or even the composer of so many brilliant pieces; to me, she had become a friend. The rest of it – her title, her species, her work – all seemed like footnotes, now. As our laughter petered out, and we relaxed, I decided to follow up on what she'd said before.

"Since you brought it up... I have been wondering what happened to you. You weren't blind... before, right?"

It seemed in poor taste to bring up the Canterlot invasion, at this point. Despite the good mood, her grin faltered a bit at my question.

"Yes, this is a recent development. I..."

She faltered, and hesitated. I decided not to pressure her, and we sat in silence for a long time. She simply laid on her couch, forelegs folded under her, and stared at the floor for a time, pondering. Finally, she raised her head back to me – and her eyes again seemed to be aimed right at me, though not quite focused – and she continued.

"It's a long story. I think the easiest way to put it is that the hive has been trapped in a vicious cycle for a very long time. Hatred was passed down from one queen to the next. Breaking a cycle like that often carries a heavy price... and the truth is, I lost my eyes a long time ago – I just didn't realize that until recently."

Her cryptic answer left me uncertain where to push for more answers. I didn't want to pry, as I could tell that this was uncomfortable for her, but I could hardly make heads or tails of what she had said.

"You mean to say that... your mother blinded you? As a nymph?"

Cecily nodded, frowning.

"As her mother did her, and so on. My eyes only continued to function so long as I absorbed the love of my subjects; just as changelings feed on others, the queen fed on her subjects, unwittingly. My subjects could not feed each other with their love, because it was all... taken. By me."

I recoiled in horror. Even as it answered many questions, the entire scenario seemed altogether too ghastly to consider. Cecily must have picked up on my response, as she just nodded sadly and cast her head down. I gingerly leaned forward to speak further.

"So you mean to say that... all of the love of the hive went to you? To give you sight?"

"Not just for that. It empowered me... and the excess went into the hive itself. It formed a unique crystal that we call luminite - it's responsible for much of our hive's technology."

She shook her head, her expression one of disgust. I would probably have shared the sentiment, were I not overwhelmed with pity. When she spoke further, her voice was flat and cold.

"All of that's over, now. No one's ever taking advantage of my subjects like that again."

Instead of being intimidated, I found myself grinning, of all things. Hardly fitting, I know, but hear me out; after speaking with her for so long, one fact about Cecily had deeply impressed itself upon me: she was utterly determined in pursuing her goals, whatever they were. Seeing that same force of personality applied to her role as queen just gave me a greater sense of how her mind tied together. This wasn't a mare of many roles; instead, she was a mare of determination, who had walked down many paths.

Still, something had been bothering me about her explanation. In fact, it had been bothering me since we had first met.

"There's something I'm still unclear on. Though you're blind, you... seem to be able to, er, 'aim' your eyes at me? Even when I walk?"

I cringed at how poorly I'd phrased that, and how embarrassing the whole thing was. Cecily just paused, and then smacked herself in the forehead.

"Right. I should have mentioned; because my eyes were powered by the energy of love, they still react to it. I can't see my environment, or most people, but I can see love itself, of different types. For instance, I see that you're in love with the companion you came here with."

You can probably infer how I reacted. Her matter-of-fact tone hardly made the statement easier to take. Naturally, I reacted in proper ladylike fashion, with such rejoinders as 'What?!', and 'That's not—!', 'We're just—!', all accompanied with a wildly flailing of my forehooves. The entire display – or, I suppose, just the auditory component – seemed to take Cecily off-guard, but she quickly recovered, a blush forming on her face. She waved a hoof at me, and cut off my latest protest.

"Octavia, please! I didn't realize that it was, err... like that. It wasn't my intent to embarrass you."

I buried my face under my forehooves, as I was fairly confident that even a blind pony could see my blush at that point. After a few moments, I remembered my train, and stood up to leave, desperately hoping I could contain my embarrassment before I ran across Vinyl. I moved to the door, and started to blurt out a hasty farewell.

"It was fantastic meeting you, and Ilookforwardtoseeingyouagainsoonbut—"

"Hmm."

Cecily was tapping her chin with her hoof. I knew then that I should make my escape, but she knew how to be just coy enough to keep me curious. She looked over at me, and that mischievous grin returned, more malevolent than ever.

"You know, Octavia, you should really say something to her."

"Mmph!"

I stomped one of my forehooves lightly and gave her my best glare, more playfully than anything. Though she couldn't see it, she chuckled anyway, and then looked back and dropped a bombshell on me.

"After all. It's mutual."

I'm afraid I made a few unladylike noises reminiscent of being strangled as I processed that.

Author's Note

Curious about Cecily? Click here!

Want something else both funny and heartfelt? Click here, maybe this is up your alley.

I hope you all enjoyed this story. It's been a very long time coming.