Where Do Foals Come From?
“Applejack, where do foals come from?” Apple Bloom asked. This one simple question caused Applejack drop the tea cup she had been holding, which shattered against the floor with a loud crack.
“Er….What was that again Sugercube?” Applejack asked, hoping she had heard wrong.
“….Where do foals come from?” Apple Bloom asked again.
“Err…..” Applejack stuttered again, trying to figure out the best way to answer her. Truthfully she had been hoping to avoid this conversation until Apple Bloom was in her mid-teens. “Well you see foals come from…..A stork! Yea that’s it, a stork!!” She said, falling back on the age old story Granny Smith had told her when she was Apple Blooms age.
“A Stork?” Apple Bloom asked “How?”
“Weeellll, you see when a grown Mare and Stallion get married and want a foal or foals, they order them via mail, and then eventually a stork delivers them in a basket.”
“You have to order them?” Apple Bloom asked. “Where? The Post Office?”
“No, it’s a special place only married adult ponies are allowed into!”
“But where is it?” Apple Bloom tried again only to be cut off by Applejack.
“Never you mind, it’s not something you have to worry about till you are older….MUCH older!! Now isn’t it about time you went to bed young missy?” Applejack waved Apple Bloom away to her bedroom while she cleaned up the mess she had made.
“So then I asked Applejack and she said foals come from a stork.” Apple Bloom told Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo the next day.
“A stork?” Sweetie Belle asked quizzically. “That doesn’t even make any sense.”
“So it’s basically like Owl post from those Harry Potter books, right?” Scootaloo added.
“I guess, but I agree with Sweetie Belle, it doesn’t really add up. I mean if it were true, then wouldn’t we have seen one of these storks carrying a foal in the air by now?”
“Maybe they only come out at night, when no pony is looking?” Sweetie Belle asked “And then a bunch of them fly through the air delivering foals to all the good parents in Equestria?”
“I think you are confusing storks with Santa Hooves!” Scootaloo interrupted her.
“Maybe we should try asking other ponies, and see what they think?” Apple Bloom suggested. The other two agreed, and soon they set off toward Ponyville. Their first stop at Sweetie’s suggestion was to ask Rarity, since the Carousel Boutique was closest to the clubhouse.
“You want to know WHAT???” Rarity asked, her jaw open in shock.
“Where do foals come from?” Sweetie Belle asked again.
“Weeeelllll, they come from the hospital darling.”
“The hospital?” Apple Bloom repeated. “Applejack said they come from a stork!!”
“Yes well, they are delivered by storks but they come from hospitals.” Rarity continued. “You see when a married couple want’s a foal they order one from the hospital and….”
“Applejack said you have to order them from a secret place only married adult ponies can get into.” Apple Bloom interrupted her.
“…..Yes well there is a special area in the hospital just for ordering foals that only adult ponies can get into.”
“Oh you mean like the maternity ward?” Scootaloo asked. “Because I was allowed in there hundreds of times, and I never saw any storks or a place to order foals. There were plenty of foals in there though, and a whole lot of overweight mares who had some kind of condition called Pregnancy.”
“Pregnancy?” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom asked. “What does that mean?”
“NEVER YOU MIND!!!” Rarity quickly interrupted them, placing a hoof around Scootaloo’s muzzle before she could continue. “Look that’s enough from you three about where foals come from, you are all far too young to be worrying about it anyway, why don’t you all go outside and try getting your cutie marks in doing something?”
“But I thought you said”
“GET OUT!!!!” Rarity shouted a little more forceful then she meant, waving the three of them out of her boutique and slamming the door behind them.
“Well that was a complete bust” Apple Bloom said dejectedly as they made their way to Sugercube corner. After Rarity they had tried asking Fluttershy who immediately claimed she had an important business meeting on Pluto, and fled in a hurry. They also tried asking Cheerilee, but she gave them the same stork story Applejack had told them. Now they were hoping to get a more concise answer from Pinkie Pie. After all she did recently witness the Cakes getting their Twin foals. Upon entering the confectionery they found Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie at the bar having a conversation.
“I don’t know Pinkie, that seems rather ridiculous.”
“Oh come on Twilight, It’s a great idea. Besides, imagine how many ponies we could feed with a five hundred foot pizza!!!” Pinkie exclaimed waving her fore hooves in excitement.
“Yes, but where in Equestria are you going to get a five hundred foot oven to bake it in?” Twilight asked.
“Eeeeeeeer” Pinkie stammered trying to find an answer, then she noticed the CMC standing by the door. “Oh hi girls” she said immediately changing the subject.
“Hey you three, what’s up?” Twilight also greeted them.
“Oh good, you’re here too Twilight, we have something we wanted to ask you.” Apple Bloom said.
“Where do foals come from?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Oh I can tell you” Pinkie Pie said jumping up and down behind the counter. “You see when a Mare and a Stallion really love each other and want a foal, they get in bed together and…MMMMPH!!!” Pinkie was interrupted by Twilight shaving a hoof against her muzzle.
“Aren’t you three a little young to be worrying about that?” she asked them.
“We just want to know!!” Apple Bloom stated.
“Well they come from a stork and….”
“That’s what Applejack and Rarity told us!!”
“That’s not true silly, it happens after a really hot stallion shoves his pee pee stick up a mares…MMMPH!!” Pinkie was interrupted yet again by Twilights hoof.
“NO IT’S THE STORKS!!!!” Twilight shouted.
“Hmmmm, two very different stories, so how do we figure out which one is the truth?” Apple Bloom asked the other two crusaders.
“I say we handle this mythbusters style!!!” Scootaloo suggested jumping in the air in excitement.”
“Good idea, I’ll get Applejack rope and try capturing storks and see if any of them are carrying foals.”
“AND I’LL GET IN BED WITH SPIKE AND TRY MAKING ABOMINATIONS!!!!!” Sweetie Belle shouted
“Wait, WHAT!!!” Twilight shouted, “Now wait girls, maybe we should…”
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS MYTHBUSTERS!!!!” They shouted breaking Twilight mid-sentence, with that they all raced out of the double doors and out of sight.
Twilight placed a hoof against her forehead and sighed. “I hope you know what you’ve gone and done Pinkie!!”
The End.
