Fate/Misplaced

by Darksidedownloaded

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6, Other, Comedy
Length: 47500

Gilgamesh, king of heroes has suffered many indignities, but this, this just might be the greatest.

He is the king of kings, hero of heroes! More god than man! He is Gilgamesh! Lord of Uruk! Owner of all the treasures of the world! Few doubt of his holy right to rule all! However, after the outcome of his defeat in the hands of that hated faker, Shirou Emiya, the golden king somehow finds himself face to face with some extremely unusual circumstances that leave even him, completely baffled. What will be the result of this odd colision of fates?

Fate/Stay Night crossover. Unlimited blade works route.

Read it if you like, tolerate it if you don't.

Proofreader: CrossoverManiac

Published 2012-06-10 20:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-23 16:30:48 UTC

Second verse/New kingdom

A/N: Chapter proofread by CrossoverManiac. My deepest thanks to him.

Chapter 3:
Second verse/New Kingdom

Piles of books and dancing motes of falling dust soon fell under the brilliant rays of the rising sun. This mesmerizing blanket of illumination slowly rose as the last vestiges of night were chased away by the early sunrise. The day's first rays washed over the untold number of books and tomes left haphazardly unkempt upon the wooden floor of the library. Silently, they strode forwards with the passing of time, second by second revealing more and more of the private study room in which a lavender figure lay sleeping. Next to her slumbering head, upon the small oak desk, the fading smoke of the diminished candle was the only indication of her long night of study. Upon the sound of the first bird song for the day, her eyes fluttered open, signaling a gentle return to the land of the waking.

With sluggish intensity, the unicorn moaned, content with a night well spend and sleep well slept. She yawned, groggily rubbing sandman's dust from her eyes. Minutes passed and she laid waiting, quietly amassing her resolve for the final transition between dream and reality. Finally, she rose; hesitantly she pushed herself off the wooden table and onto her hunches. With a deep breath, she stretched content at the sound of popping vertebra and cracking joints. Rising to her hooves, she took care to maneuver around the mess of books and notes with aim of approaching the far side of the small room where the window lay. Drawing the simple violet curtain aside, she peeked upon the new day, silently praising its wondrous magnificence. There were new opportunities to grasp, new adventures to live, and of course, more knowledge to gain. Twilight sparkle smiled.

She gazed back, taking in the chaos she had unleashed upon her study room, and frowned, realizing she had much to do and arrange before she could seize the day. At the very least, she reasoned, she would not have to do it alone.

"Spike," Twilight called in a voice scarce more than a whisper. Softly, she exited the study, carefully closing the door behind her and soundlessly moved across her house searching for very special straw basket in which a very special creature slept. "Spiiike!" There it was. Next to her bed the basket lay and within it, a softly snoring bundle of sheets moved rhythmically up and down perfectly in synch with the breaths of the draconian child it contained. "Wake up, you sleepyhead." She giggled gently nudging the tiny bed. "It’s sunrise, and we have a lot of work to do."

The infant dragon, however, made no attempt to awaken. The bundle grumbled and mumbled, snorting angrily before rolling away. Twilight Sparkle frowned, not surprised but irritated. She huffed with indignation and lowered her head, biting gently at the mass of blankets and pulling it away. Now that the tiny emerald and purple form was exposed to the elements, the hatchling coiled itself within the straw basket, still refusing to forsake his dreamland for the day.

"Come on Spike," Twilight moaned. "There's no way you can be comfortable like that. Unlike you, I’m hot-blooded, and it’s still a bit chilly even for me." Raising one hoof she finally nudged her begrudgingly emerging aid. "That's right, how could I start the day without my number one assistant? Get up and we can move on to some warm ups." She smiled and watched as the dragon slowly sat up and yawned.

"Warm ups? I’d much rather have breakfast." He said, eyeing the mare suspiciously. "Don't think I forgot what you said last night."

Twilight, for her part, was entirely at a loss.

"Last night? What are you talking about?" She asked, internally scavenging through her mind for memory of any such an exchange.

"Twiiilight. You couldn’t have forgotten." The dragon whined, visibly disappointed.

"Sorry, I have no clue what you're talking about." She giggled, finding her assistant's childish antics more than a little adorable.

The hatchling in response simply pouted, crossed his arms, and gazed at his supervisor with annoyance. All that he accomplished, however, was unintentionally eliciting yet another soft laugh from the mare.

"Fine, fine. Just remind me what I said I’d do and I’ll do it. Honest." The mare seemed to pause and rethink. "Within reason, of course." She added, eyeing Spike warily.

"You said and I quote, 'I'll stay late tonight. I know it will be hard cleaning all this up but I promise to make your favorite, tomorrow morning'." It was now Spike's turn to stop and consider. "You even told me you'd deliver it to my basket."

"Spike-"

"What? You did." He stated matter-of-factly.

"Oh fine, you lazy little dragon." She said, sounding more amused than annoyed. Twilight turned, beginning to walk towards the door. "Just wait here and don't dare fall asleep while I’m cooking."

"And remember! It’s the red gems, not the blue ones!" He said. The dragon sat there in his little basket, watching blankly at Twilight’s rapidly retreating back. When, finally, she was gone and Spike could faintly hear the sound of her hooves going down the stairs, the infant Dragon yawned and quietly sunk back into his bed.

In her library's small kitchen Twilight Sparkle happily cooked. She hummed a merry tune as hay, flour, eggs and gems floated lazily around her. With a small nod of her glowing horn, two eggs were guided towards the frying pan. The two magically levitated eggs struck themselves on its rim until their hard shells cracked. The supervising unicorn moved the oval objects over the pan, finally emptying their contents in its rapidly heating interior. She smiled, pleased with her work.

Cooking breakfast for a change, Twilight mused, was not so bad after all. Oh, sure, Twilight was no foal. She knew full well that her assistant had probably fallen back to sleep the very moment she left the room. He was probably snoozing even as she considered it while here she was working to feed them both, but maybe spoiling the little guy once in while was okay. Twilight did promise, and she really did leave quite a mess in the study last night, not to mention, that cooking breakfast for a change really was not so bad after all.

Twilight was just about to add spike's favorite gems into the mix, when a gentle rapping of hooves against wood interrupted her from her thoughts. Levitating all the orbiting ingredients to the ground and setting the pan off the stove, she quizzically set off for her library's main entrance.

It was rather unusual for her to have a visitor in these hours of the day, she contemplated curiously. Very few of the ponies she knew tended to be

awake this early in the morning. It was still a bit too soon for Ditzy to show up for the morning mail, Fluttershy rarely left her cottage until the sun was well into the sky and Applejack at the moment would probably be getting ready for the day's harvest . So who else could it be? She really hoped this wasn't about some other, new emergency she and her friends would eventually be called to deal with. While Twilight enjoyed a good adventure every once and a while, things had been especially crazy lately. Really, solving these problems wasn't even her job. Was it really that much to ask for the royal guard to just deal with things for a change?

A few moments later, Twilight found herself more than a little pleasantly surprised at the sight of Applejack's friendly visage standing patiently in front of her door way. She looked slightly troubled, her emerald eyes downcast and her shoulders tense. Still, Twilight tried to be positive about this. It was probably just a social visit, nothing troublesome or worrying. Her hardworking friend probably wished to get something off her chest.

Her hopes were brutally and swiftly crushed, however, as soon as the apple family member opened her muzzle.

"Hey Twi, sorry to bother ya this time of day, but Ah overheard something Ah reckoned Ah should warn ya about."

Twilight just sighed and ushered her friend in. With quick thanks from the farm mare, the pair moved to the living room. Applejack found a seat by Twilight's small coffee table while the lavender unicorn excused herself to the kitchen to both prepare some much needed hot tea and turn off the stove she had previously left unchecked,

Applejack however, didn't seem to want to postpone the conversation more than it had to be.

"Hey, Twi?" Her voiced called from the living room.

"Yes Applejack?" Twilight responded whilst placing an ornate teapot to boil.

"Do ya remember that house by old Peppermint's spice shop?"

Twilight paused for a moment to think.

"The one that's been undergoing renovations?"

"The very same."

The unicorn nodded knowingly. A while back, Peppermint's had been fairly well known store in Ponyville. He used to sell the best quality food dressings in three hundred miles. About a year ago however, the old Peppermint had declared his retirement. With the money Peppermint had gathered over the years, he and his family moved to Manehatten where he had opened a decently successful store for his son. The house next to his shop had been the place where Peppermint's sister, Spearmint, had lived before the entire family decided to move.

Although now derelict and abandoned, it was easily one of the largest houses in the small town. Recently, there had been rumors going through Ponyville that some rich noble had bought the house and was currently repairing it to use as his own. True enough, Twilight herself had seen the construction taking place a few days ago. Judging by how thorough and expensive they seemed to be, it wouldn't be wrong to assume that somepony with a considerable amount of inheritance had undertaken the task. The entire town was absolutely livid with the thought of a member of royalty moving to a small backwater settlement like Ponyville. They were lucky the residents weren't setting up a parade. I mean, sure, Twilight herself was also considered as a member of the Canterlot elite, but her arrival hadn't been anywhere as fussy or eye-catching as this, Nightmare moon incident aside.

"What about it?" Twilight inquired, now in the process of pouring the steaming water to her vintage teacups.

"Well...Ah might have overheard something about the owner you might not like."

Twilight paused.

"Don't be silly Applejack. You know I wouldn't have a problem with somepony moving to town. It’s not like I have any enemies or anything." A certain fiasco with a 'great and powerful' midnight blue unicorn went unmentioned.

"Ah know you’re a good mare Twi but..." Applejack's voice paused, probably considering how to properly phrase her next words. "Wait, let me start from the beginning."

"...okay?" Twilight reluctantly responded. Without really looking, she levitated two teabags, a jar of honey, and cup of cream into the tray.

"Okay, so, you know how the mail usually reaches my farm first?"

"Yes, the mail office usually wants to be done with faraway estates first thing in the morning, doesn't it?"

"Indeed it does. Well, as Ah was saying, Ah woke up a bit early today since it was my turn to make breakfast for the family, just like you were doing just earlier, when somebody knocked on my door. Now, ah figured it was probably the mail so ah went downstairs to say good morning to whomever it was that was assigned to bring it today. Ah opened the door and who do Ah see but Ol' cross-eyed Ditzy, smiling a huge smile as if she had just won the lottery. When Ah called on her on it, she told me that this was the last day on the job."

"Oh no...Don't tell me she was fired!" Twilight asked, sincerely worried. Ditzy already had enough problems as it was.

"No, no. Far from it. Apparently a...friend of hers found her a better job somewhere else." Applejack assured, albeit somewhat hesitantly.

"That is very nice of him!" Twilight smiled finally trotting out of the kitchen.

"Yeah...It is mighty kind Ah'll admit. But...Well...When Ah asked who it was..." Applejack paused, struggling with the right words.

Twilight frowned as she levitated the tray over her head. Why was Applejack so hesitant to talk to her about this?

"Come on." Twilight urged. "You can tell me."

Applejack seemed to hesitate for a second longer before finally relenting.

"Okay, okay. But first, do you remember what happened at last month's annual talent show?"

A deafening crash startled Applejack straight onto her hooves. With her heart pounding loudly in her chest, the farm mare swerved around towards the source of the commotion. What she came to face was a stunned Twilight Sparkle, surrounded by pieces of now shattered fine china and drenched in boiling hot tea, staring at her in mute horror.

"Ahhh...Twi...Are you...alright?" Applejack tried, now felling more than a bit worried by the lack of any response to pain stimulus from her friend. There was steam literally rising from her coat and the farm mare could already see a bump growing on her head.

Twilight herself, though, seemed a lot more focused on the implications of her friend's words. In a burst of teleportation, the lavender unicorn latched upon her friend with her hooves and shackled her by the shoulders at, literally, blindingly fast speeds. Her expression frantic, her mane was already becoming frizzled by her raw panic.

"Don't tell me that..."

Applejack could only chuckle nervously.

"Vinyl! Vinyl! Stop this insanity this instant!"

"Sorry but no dice, Octi. I'm moving to your place and that's final!

"Just wait a bloody minute so we can talk about this! You are being even more unreasonable than usual!"

"Don't care. We’re roommates until this blows over. Now shut up and help me with my records. Canterlot's a long way for one pony to carry all this!"

"Hmph! To think that you of all ponies would act like this."

"I have zero idea what you’re blabbering about."

"What I am 'blabbering about' is that you’re practically running away with your tail between your legs!"

"No I’m not!"

"Yes you are!"

"No I’m not!"

"Vinyl!"

"Look Octi, you know me right? We've been friends since music school. You know I’m not the kind of mare that just backs off from a bad situation. However, I do draw the line in being recklessly stubborn when somepony’s out to kill me!"

"Oh come on, he isn't out to kill you!"

"He threw a SWORD at me!"

"I am sure it was just a perfectly reasonable accident."

"HALF MY TAIL IS MISSING!"

Octavia just signed.

"Look Vinyl, shall I be...'frank' with you-"

"What? Sick of being yourself?"

Pause.

Octavia just groaned.

"See, see!? You just KNOW I’m in a bad way when I start making stupid cliché jokes like that!"

"You’re always making stupid cliché jokes..."

"Oh you did not just insult my sense of humor!"

"Regardless, what I’m trying to say, dear Vinyl, is that, although regrettable, I don't believe I can help you in this whole escapade."

"Why the hay not!? This is why I called you here!"

"Don't get me wrong. While any other day I would love to oblige your usual paranoia and crazy conspiracy theories-"

"Hey! That happened only once and only cause it was cider season!"

"-my band and I have an extremely important and complicated concerto to prepare for, that simply-"

"DON'T CARE! There is half-crazed sword-flinging psychopath moving in two houses down the street and I kinda value my life, thank you very much!"

"But my concer-"

"With all due respect Octi, at this point you and you concert just go f-"

"-focus on this too much Twi...Ah'm sure that everything is going to be fine." Applejack tried.

Twilight, apparently, would have none of that. She was pacing around the room like a chicken with its head cut off. (Applejack took a moment to wince at the imagery.) Eyes downcast and brow creased in intense concentration, Twilight kept moving back and forth across the room muttering what sounded like gibberish to herself before finally turning to respond.

"Fine? FINE?! HOW CAN THIS BE FINE?" She all but screamed.

"Jeez Twilight, what's all this noise about? How's a dragon supposed to...Oh...Hi, Applejack." Applejack turned her attention to the top of the stairs, completely at loss on how to contain the entire situation she gazed hopefully at the dragonling sheepishly rubbing his eyes. Surely HE could calm Twilight down long enough to talk about this like reasonable ponies. It was rather unfortunate that Twilight didn't seem to notice him, so caught up as she was in her rant.

"He's a weird colt I never heard about that appeared out nowhere, announced his undying love for me, turned my magic show into a comedy act, AND THEN THREW A SWORD AT SOME RANDOM PONY FOR ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD REASON!" She screeched sending Applejack's ears flattening against her skull. Distantly the blond mare could swear she heard the sound of glass breaking.

"Whoa, whoa! Easy with the sirens Twi! What are you talkin' about?" Spike complained, his hands pressed tightly against his head to shield his delicate ears.

Finally the purple unicorn turned to acknowledge her assistant, not however in the way Applejack had hopped.

"Remember that stallion from the talent show?" She exclaimed poking a hoof at Spike's direction.

"Who? Mr. Fabulous? What about him?"

"HE'S MOVING TWO STREETS DOWN THE ROAD!"

"Wait wha - Ah no, nonononononono! Not in my neighborhood!" Spike exclaimed, all but stomping down the stairs before turning to move towards the tree house door. "About time I gave that guy a piece of my mind."

And that was just about as much chaos as Applejack was willing to take for the day.

"Oh no you don’t!" She surged forwards grabbing the infant dragon by the tail and dragged him back to the coffee table. "Now stay put, ya hear?" Spike moved as if to argue, but ultimately he just scowled and crossed his arms over his tiny chest, staring off angrily into the distance.

"Good! Now, here’s what’s gonna happen!" Applejack shouted glaring at the pair. She was glad to see that her actions left Twilight stunned for the moment.

"You," she growled, waving an angry hoof in a startled Spike's face, "are going to refrain from any further acts of violence and go cool off in your room. AH! No objections! And you!" She spat out turning to Twilight. "Are going to calm down and-"

"But-"

"YOU WILL CALM DOWN, AND WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE WHOLE MESS LIKE THE RESPONSIBLE, CIVILIZED, ADULT MARES THAT WE ARE! You got that?" Applejack growled and all but head-butted her friend.

"I..." Completely derailed from her tantrum and faced against the farm mare's ire, the lavender unicorn found herself all but wilting. Her bottom sunk to the ground and her ears flopped lifelessly around her downcast face.

"I'm sorry Applejack..." She sniffed. 'It’s just...I don't really know what to do in a complicated situation like this. This is the first time that a violent and possibly insane colt that confessed to me moves in what can practically be considered as next door to me..."

"You get used to it after the first couple of times..." Applejack muttered darkly to herself.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing." The orange mare said waving her off. "Anyway, Ah'm sure it was all just a huge misunderstanding that is gonna blow over as soon as Rarity and Pinkie are done with their visit to his home today."

"Well, I don't like it eitherwa-wait...what was that last part again?" Spike blurted out while gazing at Applejack with horrified eyes.

Applejack sighed, quietly bracing herself for the imminent shit storm.

"It certainly is a fairly impressive residence." Rarity muttered under her breath.

"Well, from what I heard from Carrot Top, this guy's supposed to be stinking rich, a baron or something or the other." Pinkie exclaimed, not really paying as much attention to the house itself.

"Darling, that would already be fairly obvious from the sheer amount of reconstruction projects this place has been going through these last few weeks." Rarity explained. Silently, she turned back to the tall house in front of them, appraising it with a slight frown. "Still...I didn't expect it to be made THIS big. It almost seems as if the owner is...bragging."

"Oh, that's not important. The house doesn't really matter. It’s the pony within that does!" Pinkie cheered.

"If you say so darling..."

"I have to say, Rarity, I’m kind of surprised you came with me here." The hyperactive mare admitted.

"Oh, why is that?"

"Well...You don't usually come with me when I’m trying to issue my party invitations. Even when I come by the boutique to ask you always seem so busy!"

Rarity seemed to consider this for a moment.

"Well, dear, I’m rather sorry about that. However, it is quite true. I AM usually too busy to just go around town to give singing telegrams to random ponies. This case is quite different, though. If rumors are to be believed, this new stallion is royalty dear, royalty!"

"What does that have to do with it?" Pinkie asked, seemly confused.

"You see Pinkie; ponies of high society tend to be rather fond of their garments and always tend to be well connected within their respective

social circles. Remember those dresses I made for Sapphire Shores a while back?"

"That whole deal with the gems? Yeah, of course I do."

"Even that had been enough to spread word of boutique all the way to Canterlot. Although famous and wealthy, dear Sapphire doesn't really have any connection or relations in the royal court. THIS stallion however, most likely will." Rarity said. "If I make a customer out of him..." She breathed out shuddering at the untold implications.

"Ah, I understand..." Pinkie sounded a hesitant.

"Something the matter darling?"

"Not really, it’s just that figured you were here about that whole incident during last month's talent show."

Rarity's eyebrows creased in concentration.

"Yes...Yes, there's also that." She finally replied. "I admit that I’m both curious and worried of the stallion who's eyes were caught by Twilight. Some of the wealthier ponies tend to be a bit...inappropriate in their relationship or in their pursuits of one, and our mutual friend, though intelligent, is quite ignorant on the intricacies of romance."

"Blueblood?"

"Blueblood." Rarity nodded sadly.

"Well...He DID throw a sword at a pony."

"He threw a sword at a pony." Rarity concurred.

"Oh cheer up, Rarity. We have a job to do! Plus, I'm pretty sure this guy will be different than what we think."

"I hope you are right dear. Well, might as well get this over with."

Mustering her courage, Rarity moved to knock upon the heavy oak door of her new neighbor. The response that followed was some muffled shouting from within the house, but none appeared to actually answer their call.

After a few minutes of waiting, the white unicorn repeated the act of knocking once more.

"Coming!" a female voice sounded.

How odd, the voice sounded...so familiar...

With soft creek, the heavy door drifted open, just as a familiar face came to view.

"Okay, how did it go again? Oh yeah. Welcome to the residence of the one true king of - Rarity? Pinkie? What are you doing here?"

Rarity felt her jaw touch the ground.

"Lyra?"

"Lyra! There's somepony at the door! Could you get that? I'm kind of busy at the moment."

The mint-colored unicorn that was Lyra Heartstrings slowly raised her head, grudgingly dislodging her honey-colored eyes from the ornate lyre glistening between her hooves. Really, didn't ponies know how important it was for a musician to fine-tune a new instrument? Celestia dammit, she hadn't had a single moment to herself ever since she got the thing a few days ago. How was she expected to perform like this?

"Can't you take a second to take care of it, Red? I'm working here!" Lyra complained, hoping her voice was loud enough to carry over. Why was this house so damn big? How were ponies supposed to communicate with each other when you had to shout your throat raw just so you could get the message across from the living room to the kitchens?

"Heartstrings! I'm currently in the process of recreating an incredibly obscure and imprecise ancient Sumarerian recipe for tonight's dinner. I am, literally, up to my head in tomatoes. If you don't help me out here, by Celestia's possessed mane, I’ll spike your share with laxative! Now, get going!"

Realizing how little choice she had in the matter, Lyra could only pout in response. After living with someone like Bon Bon for as long as she had, a pony learned that pissing off the cook was absolutely the worst possible thing one could do. The unpleasant repercussions of a particularly bad argument about Lyra's preference of muffins for breakfast over Bon Bon's trademarked chocolate sponge cake, had been more than enough to teach her that. Unfortunately for the poor musician, from what she knew of her, the estate's new chef, Red Pepper, was even worse when it came to short fuses and their disastrous results. With a long suffering sigh, the mare gently lowered her new solid gold instrument on the bed of lush pillows she was perched upon.

"Hey, Willow, watch my lyre for a second, would you?" She called out as she leapt to her hooves. "Can't really leave it alone with all the gold crazed ponies running around in this place."

"Sure thing beautiful." The brown burly stallion offered back.

Lyra just smiled in response. The stallion flashed her a shy grin before turning back to tending the palm trees. Willow Wisp, the estate's gardener, was a nice guy all things considered. He was just the type of kind and dependable colt that many mares would be willing to commit first degree murder for. It was nice to know a stallion like that had a crush on her. Unfortunately, he wasn't really Lyra's type. One of these days she really had to explain to him that she wouldn't be able to return his feelings, but for now, it at least marked him as trustworthy.

Regardless, now she had to move quickly, there were ponies waiting for her to let them in, and she had already wasted enough time chatting. Settling into a light trot, she quickly swerved around the indoor fountain, taking care to avoid colliding with the myriad of ponies that were darting around the place, taking care of this and that as their jobs demanded. In a matter of seconds, Lyra cleared both the living room and

the entrance hall, coming to stop in front of the main gate. She hadn't moved fast enough, however. Her visitors were already knocking on the door for a second time as she arrived.

"Coming!" Lyra shouted, frantically trying to straighten up her work clothes. She hated the damn things to be honest. They were far, far too gaudy for her tastes. Still, the boss had made it pretty clear he wanted his hired help to look 'presentable' at all times, so she had little choice.

"Okay, how did it go again?" She muttered to herself as she moved to open the door. "Oh, yeah. Welcome to the residence of the one true king of - "

It was then that Lyra noticed the two familiar faces openly gawking at her.

"-Rarity? Pinkie? What are you doing here?"

"Lyra?!" Rarity stated dumbly.

"Girls! How long had it been? I haven't seen you guys around since Princess's Candace’s wedding! How's it going?" At the sound of her voice Pinkie seemed to snap from her reverie in that instantaneous one-hundred and eighty degrees shift of attitude only she could pull off. Rarity, on the other hoof, just kept her eyes transfixed on Lyra's person.

"Oh wonderful! Did you hear! We have new pony in town! I get to throw A WELCOME PARTY! I almost never get the chance to do one of those! There are just so few ponies moving to Ponyville, you know? Small rural town and everything." Pinkie gushed, visibly ecstatic.

"New pony in town? Oh! You must mean Gil."

"Gil?"

"Lyra," It appeared that Rarity finally woke from her stupor. "What are you wearing?" Well, kind of.

The mint unicorn looked down at herself, silently appraising the silken toga and more importantly the sheer mass of jewelry that seemed to envelop her form.

"Yeah, I know its kind weird, but Gil said it reminded him of home and hey, he's the one writing my pay checks. So, you know whatever, right?"

"Is that...all of that, gold?"

"And platinum, yeah. A bit over the top, I know, but Gil insisted that the musician of the King of Heroes should be dressed up for the part, whatever that means."

Rarity just sputtered.

"Soooooo, is Gil home? Gil, that's a funny name. Sounds foreign. Where's he from? Is it far? Is he really a king there? Does he like parties? Are parties different there? Does he host them? Cause it would be REALLLY awesome if-"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down there girl. I don't really know all that much about the guy. I just work here. You can ask him yourselves. Come on in guys, I’ll give you the all-round tour of the house." Lyra explained making way for her friends to enter.

"Oooooooohhhh! That would be supery-dupery-awesome!" Pinkie explained, merrily hopping after the green unicorn.

"Cool, just don't let him know I called him 'Gil', okay? Don’t really know why, but he throws a fit whenever ponies do that. It would probably be for the best if you avoided calling him that too."

It took her a few seconds, but Rarity finally managed to shake her head clear of her shock and silently follow after the pair, an unladylike grimace framing her face. If one could strain his hearing hard enough, one would hear her muttering darkly about rich bastards and all the fine material they could afford.

"Huh? Then what are we SUPPOSED to call him?" Pinkie inquired, completely ignorant of her friend's ire.

"Well, his actual name's Gilgamesh but he always tells me that he prefers that we call him 'Gilgamesh, Hero of Heroes! King of Kings! Lord of Uruk!'. So you can either go with that or just refer to him as 'your highness'. He's kinda weird like that. On second thought, those last two sounds kinda presumptuous just go with his name."

"Lyra! What happened? How did you end up working here?" Rarity suddenly cut in. "...and dressed like that..." She grumbled. Lyra was starting to suspect that she was still very hung up on that subject.

"Oh...oh, right. I didn't tell you about that did I? Well, you guys know that I've been having a bit of trouble finding a new gig lately, right? Well, a couple of days ago there was this buzz around the streets that there was some foreign royalty moving in town and was looking to hire some staff for his new house. I figured, hey, maybe the guy wanted somepony to entertain at parties. Ya know? Bon Bon was on my case long enough that I thought it was worth a try. Turns out the guy has a thing for old traditional instruments. Go figure."

"I...see....but that doesn't explain the outfit."

"Yeah, don't really know what's up with that. Not really crazy about it either. Told you, he's kinda eccentric and, to tell you the truth..." Lyra leaned in whispering conspiratorially in Rarity's ear. "...he's a bit of an arrogant flankhole."

"Lyra!"

"I know, I know, but he totally is. Still, I can't really complain. The pay's insane. He's all but giving me my weight in gold here and not just me either. Really, I have no idea where he gets it all from. So long as we do what he says and don't make some royal screw up, he's very generous with us." Lyra paused as they reached the end of the entrance hall. "Ladies, welcome to the Gilgamesh residence." She exclaimed plainly, spreading her forelegs as if to embrace the sky.

"...Palace." Corrected a one of the passing maids.

"Gilgamesh Palace!"

Rarity was just about offer a biting remark on their host's deplorable habit of flagging out his wealth when she came to an instant stop at the sight of the houses main living space, her eyes all but bulging out of her head and word dying on her lips.

Damn rich bastards

"Oooohhh...Fancy" Was all Pinkie had to offer as she gazed up at all the exotic silks and flora that seem to be all but chocking the living room.

Unlike Pinkie however, Rarity's eyes were glued upon another, more particular piece of furniture that stood in the center of the room.

"My lord! You have visitors!" Lyra shouted. For the fifth time that day she prayed to dear Celestia that she would still have her voice by the end of the day.

"Very well, have them wait for me in the living room, musician. I shall be there soon." A loud confident voice boomed back.

"Uhhh, sure." Lyra shouted back. With a casual shrug she turned to regard her friends. "Well, you heard him. Make yourselves comfortable."

"Neato!" Pinkie exclaimed and happily trotted towards the nearest fruit bowl.

Rarity on the other hand, was still busy gawking at that one particular piece of furniture.

"Tell me musician. What do my guests think of my palace?" A curious voice shouted from other end of the room.

Lyra turned to regard Rarity, who was currently making a wonderful impression of a fish.

"They think it’s a bit much my lord!"

The form of an incredulous gold furred unicorn came into view from behind one of the silk curtains.

"Madness! I decorated my new home just as my old one! Its splendor should be enough to awe the gods themselves! It’s only fitting for one such as I! What could they possibly think is 'a bit much'?"

"Well, sir, there is the matter of the three pony-lengths tall solid gold throne in the middle of your living room."

Everyone the room flinched at the sound of Rarity's insensate form hitting ground.

Third verse/Warnings

A/N:

Here we go! Finally done. I have to apologize to Shadow Fyre (and everyone else) for the long delay despite the promise of a fast written chapter. Unfortunately, I’ve learned that posting promises and studying Physiology don't mesh, so I won't try to make them to.

Life is pretty stressful, currently, with all my exams, so I can't really say when the next chapter will be. It WILL come out, but I don't know when.

For now please enjoy chapter four of Fate/Misplaced.

EDIT: Proofreader found. Chapter edited by CrossoverManiac.

Chapter 4:
Third verse/Warnings

Rainbow Dash yawned. Another peaceful day in Ponyville.

How wonderful.

Really, did things really have to be so damn boring day in and day out? Where had the good old days gone, when the odd monster and occasional rampart elder god reared up its ugly head at the end of the day just looking for an old fashioned flank-whoopin' from yours truly? Is the occasional crisis too much to ask, universe? No, of course it isn't! But noooo. The prissy jerk just had to play difficult every once a while. Damn diva! Thinking it was all that. Just LOOK at this situation. Almost lunch time and absolutely nothing interesting to do. No important visitors in Ponyville, no titanic astral beast, no kidnappings, nothing! In fact, Dash could say with great certainty and disappointment, it had almost been a full blown month since she had last been in mortal danger...barring her morning stunt practices, that is...

...not that she was doing anything wrong during said practices, of course. She was an excellent flier! In fact she was the best! Yep! The fastest, greatest, most awesome pegasus in all the land! She was Rainbow Dash! The future Wonderbolt! Those trees...and that one stray wall...had just been intentional. Yeah! It was training! To strengthen the body against horrifying collisions...It totally wasn't an accident...

...She didn't crash dammit!

Mumbling irritably about random wind currents and stupid wannabe critics, the azure mare rose to her hooves, taking special care not to damage the alabaster cloud that formed her latest favored napping spot. This was one damn good cloud, and she would be damned if she messed it up just because some stuck up jerks like to judge her flying. Who asked them anyway?

With an irritated snort, she spread her prized wings, stretching them carefully and thoroughly over her back, this way and that. As that familiar and wonderful feeling of slumbering muscle tensing finally hit her, despite her recent, relatively sour, mood she couldn't help but smile in content.

Well, if nothing else, she could at least just chill with a fly-by across the town. Who knows, maybe she could even go have a look over at old Peppermint’s shop and have a word or two with Ponyville’s newest resident. It wasn't everyday some rich snob spontaneously migrated from one of those frou-frou places like Canterlot or whatever to come down to some backwater village in the middle of nowhere. If this guy was here to stir trouble, she would take care of it right then and there. Nopony messed up Rainbow Dash's turf without her having a say in it.

Just as she was preparing to take off, however, the telltale sounds of flapping wings brought her to a pause. He head whipped about searching for whom ever it was she had heard. Past a few drifting birds, however, nothing notable came to sight. Rainbow Dash just shrugged.

Meh, whatever.

Returning to the task at hand, the rainbow pegasus gave her wings a few rudimentary flaps. She had been sleeping for a while, and they were feeling kinda jammed. In the middle of her warm routine, however, the sound of something large and extremely fast darting about drew her attention to the side. It was all Rainbow could do to raise a bewildered eyebrow at the lazily floating group of clouds that she came face to face with.

"Uh....okay..." She mumbled, perplexed.

That dull whooshing sound touched her ears once again, this time from the left and Rainbow Dash, suddenly on the edge in a way she would never admit, whirled about in response. Once again, however, her

inspections of the surrounding area were met with disappointingly lackluster results as all that filled her vision was nothing but the clear blue skies of Equestria.

"Who-who's there?!" She shouted anxiously.

Her only response was another defiant whoosh from somewhere around her, coming and going as fast and mysteriously as ever.

"I...I...I know your there!" She exclaimed, drawing a few steps back from the edge of her cloud." C-c-come out here or I-"

A deafening rush of wind exploded behind her deafening her ears.

All Rainbow Dash could do was to scream bloody murder as her world dissolved to darkness

...and feathers.

"-arity, Rarity, Rarity!"

It had been quite a while since her last actual fainting spell, Rarity realized, as the world slowly shifted into focus. Recognizing the old familiar feeling of a full cerebral reboot in its pregnant phases, the white unicorn gently opened her eyes, waiting patiently for the mass of indistinct blurs in her limited field of vision to take a recognizable form. It took longer than anticipated, probably indicating some minor form of cranial damage from her subsequent fall, but true enough, the green blob that seemed to encompass her sight begun to assume a familiar shape.

"Rarity! Rarity! Wake up!"

"Lyra...? I..." How odd, her face felt rather sore.

Thwack!

"Ow! HEY!"

Oh, that's why.

"WAKE UP RARITY!"

Thwack!

"OW! Would you be so kind as to quit that?!" She shouted, hastily shoving the mint unicorn away from her muzzle and not too soon either, judging from the drawn back hoof over Lyra's head.

Not particularly keen at being abused any further, Rarity wasted no time on getting back to her hooves, a silent declaration for everypony in the vicinity to kindly back off. True to form, the small gathering of ponies that appeared to have gathered around her at some point during her fainting spell wisely took a few hoof steps away, allowing the irate mare a few precious moments to take stock of her surroundings.

Judging by the mass of gaudy palm trees and priceless fabrics (damn rich bastards) that stretched as far as her disoriented eye could see, she was still very much in the so-called 'Gilgamesh residence'. In fact, she hadn't been moved a single inch from the spot where she had first lost her senses. Rarity felt a spark of indignation igniting in her chest. What kind of uncivilized barbarian left a passed out lady lying of the floor for what seemed to be the better part of several minutes? On that matter, where was Pinkie Pie? She could understand if these ruffians left her to gather dust on the floor, but surely her friend would have done something, especially at the point where she was being slapped senseless. Ugh, she would have to have a talk with Lyra later.

That was a conversation for another time however.

For the moment, Rarity was more concerned with finding her wayward friend. Hastily scanning the surrounding throng of equines, she quickly discerned that Pinkie was not amongst them, and, judging by the current state of calm and stillness pervading the kitchens, buffet and house overall, she ruled out the possibility of Pinkie simply wandering about. No matter how much her eyes darted around the room, she couldn't spot the cotton candy-colored menace anywhere, not a single flash of cotton pink anywhere.

Being left unconscious of the floor for an undetermined amount of time...and getting slapped silly (oh she and Lyra would talk) aside, Pinkie Pie's absence struck Rarity as rather worrying. No matter how easily distracted and ‘excitable’ the pink party pony was, it was an inarguable impossibility that she would abandon the seamstress in her time of need. At the very, very least, Rarity had expected Pinkie to be watching over her, noisily awaiting the moment Rarity would regain her senses.

Worrying indeed. Had something happened to her exuberant acquaintance?

"L...l...lyra..." She begun, pausing for a moment to frown at her difficulty in initiating casual conversation. There appeared to be some...lingering numbness around her cheeks, manifesting itself into a stutter. (For how long, in Celestia's name, had the musician been hitting her?).

Lyra for her part, stared on owlishly, seemingly anxious for the mare to complete her sentence.

"L...L...ugh...Lyra, where's Pinkie?"

For a full second further, Lyra appeared to study her, before suddenly, to Rarity's great surprise, the musician brought a hoof over her chest, as if to calm a racing heart. Unleashing a positively gigantic sigh of utter relief, Rarity raised a delicate eyebrow. She hadn’t been out for THAT long...had she?

"Oh thank Celestia! You’re back with us!" The musician exclaimed, her rear limply plopping into the ground.

"Did...something happen while I was unconscious?" Rarity inquired, growing a smidge suspicious.

"What? Ah! No, no. Nothing! I'm just happy that we don't have to throw you out in the streets along with yesterday's garbage!"

Rarity took the tiniest fraction of a second to actually process that.

"Pardon me darling, but...What?!"

"Hey boss! She's awake! We didn't even have to resort to jabbing her with a knife!" Lyra shouted off the side.

"What?!"

"Good! About time! I was ready to order the guards to throw her out on the streets along with yesterday's garbage!"

"What?!"

Indignant and outraged, Rarity whirled about, viciously homing in to the source of that insufferable snobbish voice. What her purple orbs finally settle upon was, of course, the insultingly disinterested visage of a particular crimson-eyed colt. A stallion in possession of an admittedly brilliant and positively radiant golden coat, stallion who's front legs were decorated with what appeared to be exotic tribal tattoos of vibrant crimson, a stallion whose body was dressed in various pieces of antique trinkets and jewelry and, most importantly, a stallion who was currently engaged at looking down at her. His gaze impassionate and dismissive, he painted an utterly enraging image perched as he was on that preposterous three pony-lengths tall solid throne on the middle of the living room. He wasn't sitting properly, the calm and now admittedly tiny, part of Rarity noted. His back legs were hanging limply off the edge of the throne, his back erect with single frond hoof supporting his deplorable smiling muzzle against the armrest. It looked unbelievably uncomfortable and undeniably uncivilized for a pony to use.

During her brief period of captivity, Rarity had witnessed diamond dogs sometimes adopting a similar position upon wayward rocks when their front paws tired. Had she been of a more tranquil state of mind, Rarity would have wondered if this meant that their new and obviously wealthy neighbor had attained or maintained his unreasonable inheritance through close relations with the bipedal creatures-perhaps a merchant of a sort.

That is to say, she would have wondered as such was she not so overcome with righteous female wrath as she was.

“Excuse me, dear sir..." The seamstress hissed, her voice positively dripping with venom in that subtle way only an infuriated lady of class could. "...but I do have to ask you to repeat your last words."

In response, the conceited ruffian raised his head, turning his nose in the air he regarded Rarity with narrowed eyes, as if grazing at her, truly looking at her, for the first time.

“Hoh?" He drawled. "You would have a king repeat himself, seamstress? You are quite bold."

Pointedly ignoring the lightly veiled threat hidden in his tone, Rarity matched the stallion's steady, piercing gaze, stubbornly refusing to question his prior knowledge of her person.

"A...king, you say?" She stated flatly. "I regret to inform you, sir, that no 'king' of which I know would be as crass as to use such a petty methodology and attitude in treating his guests."

In an instant, the stallion's eyes hardened dangerously. Rarity however, would not be deterred and relentlessly soldiered on with her criticism.

"It takes more than blue blood and impressive, carelessly flaunted wealth to uphold a title of nobility. If you wish to retain the respect of your subjects and acquaintances then I would strongly suggest you stop leaving your visitors to gather dust on your marble encrusted floor after they are shocked out of their senses by your insultingly gaudy taste of decor."

"Why you-" The stallion growled, his voice low and threatening as he bore down over her.

She did not let him act however, apparently having one final say.

"And on that note!" She exclaimed, her voice steady and strong. "This throne is also quite...quite unnecessary!"

"ENOUGH!" The noble pony snapped, growling savagely, his teeth gashing in an open and shocking display of raw animalistic aggression, one of such ferocity that Rarity would never have believed possible by any sort of civilized pony. For one brief, horrifying second, Rarity feared that the noble pony would fall upon her, lunging down from his glimmering throne to tear her apart with his very hooves. A comparative analogy flashed abidingly into her mind. 'Like a manticore upon a rabbit' she could not help but think.

That moment however, thank Celestia and all that she stood for, soon passed, as the monster in front of her...pony...not monster, pony, unleashed a sudden amused huff, making her, tense as she was, do a little jump. Distantly, Rarity noted that she had not been the only pony present to be affected by the strange phenomenon. Rarity was shocked to realize that nearly if not all of the household staff witnessing the exchange, all who by that point had retreated to a few steps behind her, had flinched away at that exact same instant.

"It’s been a long time since one had the nerve to talk to me in such a manner." The golden stallion's mirthful voice sounded, breaking Rarity out of her reverie. Hesitantly, still shaken by the primal instinct of danger that she now believed to have imagined just a few moments before, she turned to watch him and found his visage gazing down gleefully at her form.

"I find your insolence amusing, seamstress. Consider yourself honored." He stated, smiling down at her in a manner that Rarity could fleetingly consider as gloating.

The white mare's response was but a single loud sniff trying to hide her feelings of humiliation and defeat that currently threatened to overwhelm her. He had spooked her and he knew it.

"Well..." she started, "I'm happy to know that I am at least amusing to you," silently hoping it sounded more biting that how she currently felt it to.

The stallion laughed.

"Yes, indeed you should." He stated, his tone once more making Rarity's hackles rise. "Regardless, let us leave this frivolous and pointless talk behind us for now, shall we? After all, we do have more important things to discuss."

Although privately happy for this sudden turn of the conversation to hopefully more casual subjects and tone, Rarity couldn’t help but crease her eyebrows questioningly at the noble and frightening stallion.

"Things to discuss? I am afraid you have me at a loss sir. What manner of subject do we have to talk about, if I may so ask?"

The positively vicious grin that appeared on the stallion's face did nothing to drown out Rarity's sudden sense of dread.

"Why, the subject of one Twilight Sparkle I believe."

"Ah...Yes, actually I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that particular subject myself!"

"Is that so? How amusing! Very well, let us talk!"

"Let me start by saying that..."

"How powerful is she?"

"...Twilight is really smart but a bit on the naive and innocent side so..." Pause. "Wait, what?"

"I heard she was quite renowned for her skills in the magic arts."

Rarity was DEFINITELY getting bad vibes out of this.

"L-LET ME GO! LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW!

"Whoa Dash, chill, I-"

"LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW OR-OR-OR...OR I'LL KICK YOU SORRY FLANK!"

"Alright, alright jeez, just gimme a second to...ugh...Damn knot!"

"OH I'LL GIVE YOU A SECOND ALRIGHT! I'LL GIVE A SECOND HEAD START BEFORE I-"

"There we go!"

Any further arguments or threats Rainbow Dash had to offer were quickly dismissed as her face became painfully acquainted with the hard soil of Everfree Forest.

"Oh! Whoa! Sorry about that! But...well, it really is kinda your fault. You didn't have to struggle this much,” stated the foalnapper as a matter of fact, carelessly throwing the pony-sized black sack to the side. Before it even had the chance to hit the ground, a rainbow-colored stream rammed into her side with the force of a pony-loaded party cannon, bowling her over with the ease that a dragon could topple a particularly malnourished tree. When the world finally came into focus a second after the impact, the griffon found herself looking up into the raw embodiment of anger that was currently pinning her down against the root-infested grounds of Everfree Forest's outskirts.

"MY FAULT?! WHO THE BLOODY HECK YOU THINK YOU-" Rainbow Dash came to a sudden halt as the realization of who she was standing over hit her like a sack of bricks. "-Gilda?"

The griffon gave a nervous chuckle.

"Yep, long time no see, eh Dash?"

The dull sound of hoof striking beak and subsequent squawk of pain somehow managed to resound through the entirety of Everfree.

"HOLY GIZZARD OF FRANQUA!"

"You had it coming!"

"THAT BUCKING HURT!"

"Yeah, well, maybe you should have thought of that before YOU PUT ME A SAC"

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!"

"YOU. PUT. ME. IN A SAC!"

"NOT COOL DASH! NOT COOL!"

"Yeah whatever! APOLOGIZE!"

"OKAY!...okay, jeez, I’m s-s-s-"

"Say it!"

"S...s...s...soourrry for sacking you....Yeah, that's all your gonna get."

"Humph!" The rainbow flyer acknowledged, grudgingly dismounting from her fallen former-friend.

"Thanks. Man, you really need to take a chill pill. That was almost as bad as that time I had to break you up with that Scorch jerk back at flight school!" Griffon mumbled shakily getting back to her claws.

"Not helping your cause here." Dash growled, causing Gilda to raise her front claws soothingly in front of her.

"Calm down, calm down. Remember what Buddy from anger management said. Repeat with me. Fusraba."

"What are you doing here Gilda?" Rainbow Dash deadpanned.

At least the griffon had the decency to look a smidge sheepish at that question.

"Well...Look, I know you and me didn't exactly separate on the best terms last time we met-"

"Understatement."

"...With that whole Pinkie Pie incident and al...”

"All your fault."

"-But you are still kinda my friend and something happened that felt that I had to warn you about. I was...worried for you Dash."

"And whoa, do you have a way with being worried! Sneaking up on me, foalnapping me, putting me in a damn sac and-"

"Okay, look, stop that! I know that wasn't the proper way to go about this but you weren't exactly sad to see me go last time, and this is

too important to risk being brushed off." Gilda shouted, waving her claws urgently. To her satisfaction Dash seemed to pause at her words. Encouraged, she dived in for the kill. "

Look, I know I’m bad with ponies and making friends and all that jazz. By pony standards I can be annoying and rude sometimes, I admit it. I'm not good with listening and depending on others, I’m not good playing fair, I’m not good at being kind to ponies I don't know and I’m definitely not good at sitting back as my flight-school buddy gets taken away from me by some weird mare that keeps pissing me off! I don't know if you ever been there, or if you ever heard of this, but that kind of stuff gets you killed and or taken advantaged off in the Griffon kingdoms. I understand that ain’t the way you do things. You don't like it. Fine! I'm s-s-s-s...s...sowy, whatever. You don't have to like me, just hear me out for a second. This is really, really important."

Rainbow Dash frowned. Something was off about this. Very, very off.

"What's going on G? Why are you telling me this? I KNOW you. There is no bucking way in Tartarus you would suddenly come out in the open like this about stuff like that. It’s just not you. Talk to me G."

Victorious, Gilda could only smile.

"Something big is going down in the Griffon kingdoms, Dash. Something really huge, and I don't like it one bit and neither will you. You need to gather up your stuff and get the buck out of Dodge as soon as possible."

"I'm listening."

"Royal Canterlot Academy of Magic? Sounds prestigious!"

"Oh, quite so. It’s the best research and education institution in all of Equestria as far as magic is concerned."

"And you say she graduated with honors?"

"The highest! She is the princess's personal student after all."

"Ah, yes, this...Celesta."

"Beg your pardon?"

"I have discovered that I don't care much for what I heard of her. She sounds like a repulsively boring and dreadfully unpleasant person. A ruler that refers to herself a princess instead of queen. How droll."

"Person? No, more importantly, that is entirely inappropriate! For the umpteenth time, please refrain from making such horrible statements!"

"Is that so?"

"Quite."

Sat as he did upon his golden throne, the King of Heroes gazed down silently at the form of the white unicorn, Rarity her name was, and, against all reason, was intrigued. This creature was incredibly entertaining. Her temperament was one of great pride and confidence. She took great value in herself, cherishing all that she owned and fighting fiercely for all that she dreamed and hoped. Within her roared a primal desire to never let any trample what she held dear and the resolve of doing so in a subtle and delicate manner that would not overstep her strict, self-imposed code of conduct. In such ways she was so similar to his beloved Saber. Loyal to her duties and hopelessly stubborn in her believes.

However, in how many ways she was similar, in twice as many she was less. This Rarity was ultimately a weak and cowardly creature. For all her resolve she simply lacked the strength necessary to turn her dreams to reality. She was petty and prideful. Too mindful of the opinions of others and easily derailed from her cause when her effort hit a wall she was unwilling to face. Walls and obstacles her unwavering pride and narcissism tended to lead her.

She had too many attachments and no real all-consuming ambition to drive her to her cause. She wasn't willing to sacrifice a leg or an eye, let alone her life for the goals she set for herself. Worse yet, she too, as all Gilgamesh had met in that world, had fallen prey to this devilish state of detrimental contentment, false safety and unblemished innocence that seemed to poison all the land and its inhabitant. True, the effect was less upon her than most Equestrians, but it was still there. Rarity, this seamstress, did not have it, it being the spirit that created heroes out of men. That

desire, that drive, that all-consuming need to improve, to evolve, to become, to move forwards and crush all and any that opposed underfoot regardless of what one had to sacrifice.

Yes, it was hard to believe, Gilgamesh reflected, that the creature before him, barely able to conceal her fear for himself, was one of the wielders of the most powerful magical artifacts in Equestria. Elements of Harmony, Element of Generosity. Such a deplorable name. Unfitting for one that Gilgamesh heard being referred to as a hero. Indeed, this Rarity, and most likely all of her friends, would likely never be considered heroes by any of Gilgamesh's definition of the word.

Yet, she was so much fun to play with.

For the last half an hour he had the chance to toy with her. Threw upon her veiled insult upon veiled insult, heresy upon heresy, testing her, waiting to see when his words would finally prove challenging enough for her to lose her paper-thin temper and ignore her pacifistic nature to make a physical attempt against him. Or, perhaps, more fittingly, waiting to see when her rage and indignation would win over the mind numbing fear and alarm he saw etched upon her soul. Most probably, she hadn't even noticed the true extend of her own terror by this point, didn't take note how she let him delicately trample over all that she held sacred or didn’t deem bad enough to act against yet.

To be fair, Gilgamesh couldn't blame her. This was probably the first time such a sheltered and delicate creature came face to face with a truly ruthless and unforgiving being such as himself. The mere presence of a servant was enough to enact a primal fear and worry within the trained killers who had enough magical sensibility to understand their true nature. What stood before him was no hardened mage-warrior, but a civilian unicorn, a gifted one perhaps, but one who could not even comprehend of accept the nature of the anxiety inside her.

His curiosity sparked, Gilgamesh made a decision to visit that nearby ‘Everfree’ Forest he had heard so much about. Perhaps a meeting with one of this world's predators would give him greater insight to these creatures referred to as ponies.

After all, he did use to enjoy hunting in the forests of Uruk when he was young...and alive.

Regardless, this little game was beginning to bore him. He had already gained enough information on this...Twilight. Horrid name but he could work around it. It was time to bring this to close, perhaps even make a good impression while he was at it.

Not that he cared, really.

"Well, Miss Rarity. I believe I’ve heard enough. You have been useful in providing me with sensitive information concerning your friend."

To his delight, Rarity frowned at his particular choice of words. She was quick to provide a retort.

"It’s not really sensitive information per say. Most, if not all, of what you have asked was more or less public knowledge. Quite frankly, I am surprised you were unfamiliar with it."

"Oh, quite right. Most of the material you provided I have already gathered through my assistant. I judged it prudent, however, to confirm most of it from one of her close acquaintances."

"Assistant?"

"Yes, I believe that you know her as Ditzy Doo."

"Ditzy? She works for you? Here?"

"I'm not surprised if you didn't know. She only came under my employ a few day ago."

"I see...Well...actually, I’ve been meaning to ask you a few things, if you don't mind."

"Hoh?" Interesting. "Your lord allows it!"

"...thank you for your permission…my lord..."

"Indeed," He said, nonchalantly waving her off. "I am quite generous, am I not?"

A pause.

"Right."

"We have already been talking for quite some time." Gilgamesh said, offhandedly, motioning to the side at one of the wandering pony butlers. "I have just requested some wine for my honored guest and me. I ask that you retain your questions until it arrives."

"Well...I am indeed quite parched." Rarity stated. "You appear to have a way with running the ponies around you rugged."

"That's what a king does best, little girl." He grinned, much to her obvious chagrin.

Ignoring her ire, he nodded off to yet another pony, this time on the opposite side of the room. From the corner of her eye, Rarity looked on as Lyra picked up her synonymous instrument and climbed up to the prominent pile of priceless pillows nearby. Perching herself upon them, she spend a second to make herself comfortable. The golden-clad mare gently lifted her lyre, gently running the tips of her hooves over individual strings in rapid succession.

It was an interesting sound, she reflected. This was the first time the seamstress of Ponyville had heard the mint unicorn perform her special talent. It was quite...mesmerizing. Peculiar as well, that a pony with only her hooves could use such an awkward instrument at such great effect. Focusing closely, Rarity could see faint flashes of magic over each and every string strung by the passing of Lyra's hooves. Ah! It was almost unnoticeable, but it explained a great lot.

Distantly, Rarity took stock as a wooden coffee table, barring a goblet of pure gold, was placed next to her by a large colt of a vibrant brown coat and mane. He briefly acknowledged her silent thanks with a nod of his head, before turning away and vanishing amongst the multitude of exotic fabrics once more.

"A toast!" Gilgamesh suddenly exclaimed, swiftly regaining her full attention. It appeared that at some point during her reverie, her own refreshment had arrived as well. He had raised his goblet over his head and was looking down at her expectantly.

"Ah! Yes." She spoke, feeling a bit out of sync by the stallion's overall peculiar attitude. Gingerly, she reached out with her magic, raising her drink in a similar manner. How odd she realized suddenly. The new ‘noblecolt’ of Ponyville currently holding up his wine, was doing as such with his left hoof rather than through the use of his horn. He was a unicorn after all. This was...peculiar. Still, from what she had seen up to now, little of his attitude and quirks was able to surprise her.

"To new houses and acquaintances. May they both prosper." He claimed boldly, bringing his drink to his lips. Privately, however, he was contemplating the sight of the thin veil of magic surrounding Rarity's own cup as she delicately moved it to her mouth. He really needed to find a way to get the hang of that.

Taking a small sip as to be polite, Rarity took a second to study the golden stallion. What a peculiar...and unpleasant...new resident Ponyville had gained. While demanding immediate satisfaction of his own curiosity, he stalled and drabbled with pointless platitudes and unnecessary formalities when it came to hers.

Well, this was quite enough.

Gently placing her cup back on the table, she turned to address him.

"You are most kind my lord. However, I am afraid that there is still something of grave importance to be discussed and really, it cannot wait."

"So you claim." Goblet still in hoof, he lightly swirled the wine within as he regarded her. "Very well, speak."

"I seem to be missing a friend, Sir Gilgamesh."

"Ah, yes..."

*fifty minutes earlier*

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygsoh! Rarity, wake up!"

"Cease your prattling, you insufferable twit!"

"Stay away from my friend unholy specter from beyond the veil!"

"For the last-"

"I won't be fooled a second time!"

"Gah! OH THE LOVE OF-will you stop throwing salt in my FACE?!"

"Back to the netherworld with you, vengeful spirit!"

"Just one instant! Just stand still for one instant and I’ll send you there myself!"

Swords. Swords everywhere, Lyra retreated from her opposition at the other end of the room, an obligatory safety distance away.

"They've been going at it for quite some time." Willow noted next to her.

"Yeah, you'd think the boss would have given up by now." Lyra stated sagely.

"Uh huh, no one can catch Pinkie when she's like that." Red Pepper confirmed.

"You pink abomination! Had I more mana I would skewer you where you stand!!"

"Keep your yucky, spooky ghost weapons to yourself, you stupid ghost!"

"YOU DARE!?"

"And now I'm over here!"

"HOW THE BLOODY [Censored] ARE YOU DOING THAT?"

"Oh you know spacey wasey time whimey."

"You [Censored] I'll [Censored] you until you [Censored] and I’ll keep [Censored] you until you feel it in the [Censored] afterlife! [Censored]!"

"And you kiss your ghost mother with that mouth?"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHWHYYOU-"

"SALT-GUN!"

"GAH!"

A stray sword of gold impacted on the wall behind the observing trio, utterly demolishing it and missing Willow's head by an inch.

"I’m starting to doubt the house's ability to survive this." Lyra mused. They would have to cover that hole up with some curtains, she realized.

"The house? Really?" Pepper chose that instant to dodge under a wayward knife.

"I think my life just flashed in front of my eyes." A glassy-eyed Willow stated from the side.

"I don't know about you Red, but I need this job. Bon Bon's been especially bitchy lately."

"Staring death in the face makes a colt realize a few things." Willow droned out.

"Told you! Nice mare but as a roommate? No!"

"Lyra, there's something I need to tell you." Willow suddenly shouted, preparing to bear his heart.

"Yeah, I’ve been meaning talk to you about that." The mint unicorn interjected.

"Hey guys! I'm back!"

"Oh, hey Ditz. How'd the race go?"

"Gil was right. Thunderer came first! On thirty to one odds too. Four hundred thousand bits in one day, can you imagine? Tenth time this month too. What are the odds right?"

"Damn, It’s like that guy is blessed to be unable to lose money or something."

"Whoa! What happened here?"

"Ditzy Doo!"

"Pinkie Pie?"

"DITZY! GET IN HERE THIS INSTANT!"

*Present time*

"...Your...friend." Gilgamesh bit out through clenched teeth.

Rarity blinked.

"...She got quite...excitable..."

"She tends to, darling."

"...So I was forced to send her off with my advisor..."

"Dear Ditzy?"

"...and if she followed my orders as she should, they are probably half way to Cloudsdale by now...Thank the gods." He mumbled.

"She must have been a handful."

"Your friend is an affront to all things natural and the laws of the universe themselves." Gilgamesh deadpanned.

"Allow me to apologize for any trouble she may have caused."

"You’re lucky my advisor asked me to let her live through the night."

"Excuse me darling, I didn't quite catch that."

"You heard me."

"I'd rather pretend I didn't."

"So a coup-d’état?"

"Yeah, it all started a few months ago." Gilda elaborated. "I was visiting Aunt Agnes for the annual celebration of King Franqua's victory against the dragons at Mt Adele, when Prince Abelard's castle, the one overlooking the city, suddenly started giving off this weird black smoke."

"As in storm clouds?" Rainbow Dash asked perplexed, running a hoof through her hair. She knew that Griffons had more or less the same weather-controlling innate magic as pegasi did. However, it was common knowledge that they rarely engaged in weather-related research, usually preferring to seek new ways to weaponries their innate abilities. Mass-producing storm clouds was unprecedented in the Griffon kingdoms but it wasn't really all that surprising, considering they shot out lightning. It was a matter of time really.

The Griffon kingdoms were an unusually turbulent place in Equestria. Although the Griffons were all under the rule of one single, high king, each of the thirty-two major kingdoms and cities that composed the realm possessed his own liege or feudal lord, and maaaan, did those guys have it in for each other! Every month Equestria would receive news of some new conflict sparked between two or even four different Griffon countries and for the stupidest of reasons too. ‘He called me a bad name’ that, ‘he looked at my wife funny’ this, as if they didn't already have enough problems dealing with the dragon raids and all.

"Nah, I know storm clouds. Those were definitely NOT storm clouds." Gilda continued.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it looked more like floating sludge than smoke, really. It was really weird. It had a creepy purple glow too."

"Huh. Okay, I’ll bite. Weird smoke. So what?"

"At first everyone was pretty cool with it, you know? There were rumors of some new weapons research going on in the palace and weird things like that were always kinda normal when you’re dealing with new experimental magics. An hour later though, it was still going. Holy talons Dash, it covered up the sun for the.entire.day. We all sort of freaked out and went to have a look at what was happening, but the castle was lock up tight. None of us could get through. Worse yet, we couldn't see a single one of the guards. It was as if all of them vanished completely or something. We're still kinda looking for them."

"Whoa there girl. You're going all eldritch horror on me over here. You kinda starting to freak me out."

"Yeah? Well, that ain’t even half of it." Gilda exclaimed, waving a telling talon around to enforce her point. "At some point before sunset, the whole mass of black ink just imploded over us. It gathered up into this tiny ball over the sun before bursting into this huge shockwave that cleared up the skies for a couple of kilometers in all directions."

"A few kilometers? Seriously?"

"Yep! Next thing we know, the Ambroise arrive, you know, the High King's royal guard?"

"I know."

"Well, they march right in the city and shove us all back in our houses before all but storming the castle. Guess what, everyone was gone Dash. All they found was the Prince half dead in the research room with all the equipment completely totaled!"

"Whoa, trippy."

"Yeah."

"Still." Dash said, a frown forming on her face. "How does this, interesting as it is, have anything to do with me? Or Equestria for that matter? If you wanted advice on magic, you should have gone to Twilight, not sneak up behind me and put me a damn sac and-"

"Will you get over that and listen to me? I'm not done!"

"Pssh! Fine! Just get this over with."

"Nice to see the old Rainbow patience at work, Dash."

"Whatever." Rainbow grunted, crossing her front hooves over her chest.

"Okay, buckle up because this will blow you mind."

"Giiiildaaaa!" The pegasus warned.

"Fine, fine. Check it. The High King and half the royal family were assassinated!"

"WHAT?"

"Oh don't look so queasy, you ponies and your squeamish nature."

"Gilda! You told me that the Griffon Royal family consisted of sixty-four griffins! How the buck did they end up dead? Who did this? Worse yet, how the buck did we not hear about this?" Rainbow all but screamed.

Gilda was quick to slam a talon over her muzzle.

"Keep it down Dash, there's a reason why you haven't heard this. The entirety of the council did bucking unspeakable things to keep this situation from Equestrian eyes, at least if the rumors are to be believed. If word gets out that you heard this from someone, worse yet, that you

heard this from me, I’m gonna be bucked soooooo damn hard it won't even be fun."

Dash swiftly slapped the offending appendage away, glaring at her friend but heading her warning. When she spoke next, her voice was quiet yet harsh.

"Who did this?"

"Three guesses Dash."

The pegasus glared, how could she possible know who...oh no. Suddenly, she knew, and it probably showed since Gilda was quick on picking up on her sudden revelation.

"Yeah, that's right. Prince Abelard. King Abelard now. Can you believe it? This guy was pretty much the nicest griffon in the political stage. The dude was practically too soft for his own good, and, one day, he just suddenly orders the execution of his brothers and sisters before matching right into the royal palace with an host of a few thousand Griffons and straight out executing his dad. I heard that not even the queen escaped the chopping block." Perhaps the finger Gilda drew across her throat was rather unnecessary in hindsight.

Rainbow Dash was looking pretty sick by this point. This wasn't exactly the type of conversations that ponies reveled in hearing.

"Again..." Rainbow managed to ground out. "...why are you telling me this?"

"Come on Dash, do the math!" Gilda exclaimed exasperated. "A gigantic political and military shift, a blood-thirsty and ruthless radical ascending the throne through blatant use of military force, the council doing the unthinkable to keep it a secret from everyone, especially Equestria. Come on! I'm spelling out for you!"

"Three seconds Gilda!"

"Ok fine! Look, my Uncle Aloys from my mother's side is part of the council! Remember when I introduced him to you? Well, he took a liking to you and he has a huge bone to pick with the current king for pretty much slaughtering half of Griffonia's ruling class. He helped me get into

Equestrian's airspace. Not bucking easy in the current state of affairs mind you. And he told me to tell you this. In four days there's gonna be a summit of several noble houses from all over the world at Canterlot, hosted by your princess. Literally every rich jerk who has any sort of power over anything will be there. Whether diamond dog, dragon, griffon, pony or whatever, they will be there. At the height of the evening banquet, during Celestia's traditional speech for unity between nations, the griffon ambassador will-"

"No..." Dash could see where this is going. Her heart skipped a beat and her face paled.

"That's right! The Griffon ambassador will declare war upon Equestria!"

"No...no-no-nononononononono-"

"Dash, listen! This is not the worst of it!" Gilda shouted grabbing her rumbling friend by her shoulders.

"Not...the...worst? How can anything be worse than this?" Rainbow Dash screeched.

"The High King told the council that he had discovered a way to match Celestia's and Luna's power, but he declared that leaving the Elements of Harmony into enemy hands was too risky!"

"What are you saying?"

"DASH! I said anyone with any sort of power over anything will be invited at that meeting, including you and your friends! The High King is going to have one of you KILLED!"

Rainbow dash could only gape.

"You didn't hear it from me!"

It had indeed been a stimulating evening, Gilgamesh admitted to himself as he followed the retreating forms of the white unicorn, Rarity, and the household’s own mint musician. In a boring world such as this, a day of visits and chaos like this was invaluable. It was almost sad to see it end. He had experienced such entertainment in expense of the seamstress.

He grinned as she turned her head to send him a brief irate glare over her hunches.

"Don't forget. Sixteen uniforms of the finest silk...well, the finest that you can afford." Oh that glare! That stewing rage! It sparked such amusement in him. It almost made up that order of second-class clothing he had ultimately been goaded into to requesting from her. Barely, but hey, it was better than going around blindly in this world looking for a capable tailor.

The sound of the household's front gate slamming shut reached his ears and soon after, Rarity's green escort returned, requesting to retire for the day. Things had gone just about good enough today for him to allow it.

And just like that, the day came to an end. All that was left was dinner and sleep. Not that say, that Gilgamesh didn't have a lot planned for the next day. Quite the contrary.

For tomorrow, you see, was hunting day.

Gilgamesh himself was preparing to retreat to the dining hall when his ‘trusted’ advisor approached him from behind.

"Hey Gil." He let it slide. Really, she was unteachable.

"I assume the pink menace did not follow you here."

"Pinkie? Nah, she got tired after the fifth roller-coaster. She's back at Sugarcube Corner right now."

"That is reassuring to hear."

"She did tell me to tell you something, though. Uhhhh...let see...if Rarity is hurt in anyway or her soul gets stolen or she's dragged kicking and screaming into the underworld, she's totally busting out the proton pack and containment unit in her basement."

"Dully noted."

"Oh, and, uh...something came for you from the mail office today."

"Hoh? Is that so?"

"Yep!" She exclaimed, raising a formal alabaster envelope for him to see.

"From...Canterlot? That's the pony capital, is it not?"

"Home to Princess Celestia!"

"...I'll take that as a yes."

"Soooooo...What is it?"

"My mail is not really your business...but it appears to be some sort of invite."

"Ooohhhh! An invitation from Canterlot? Whoa! For what? What does it say? What does it say?"

"Calm down Ditzy..."

“Awwwww…”

"Hmmm…Ditzy...it appears you and me are going on a little trip in a few days."

"Yay!"

Third verse/Warnings: END

Next time, on Fate/Misplaced

"Begone evil spirit! Your place is not amongst the living!"

"You annoy me, witch."

"Howdy there sir! Are you that fella that moved into Peppermint’s?"

"I don't know Scoots, he looks kinda weird."

"To think that something such as you would exist in this world."

"Interesting! Gate of. Babylon!!"

And there you have. I know it’s been a bit late, but I hope it was enjoyable. Now, as I have said I should in the past, I will leave you for times undetermined with this list of Gilgamesh's current stats as a servant, graded from A++ to E, in Fate/Misplaced:

Spirit: Gilgamesh Master: None Alignment: Chaotic Good N. Phantasm Grade: EX Strength: C Agility: D Mana: D Endurance: E Luck: A

Class skills: Independent Action: A+ Magic Resistance: E

Personal skills: Charisma: B Divinity: C (A+)

Golden Rule: A

Noble Phantasms: Ea - Anti-World - Rank EX – Unusable

Enkidu - Anti-Unit - Rank undetermined - Unusable Gate of Babylon - Anti-Army - Rank E to A++ - Useable as a Rank C Noble phantasm.

The Hero King Gilgamesh

Independent Action

Servant can remain in this world indefinitely even without a Master. However, in order to activate his Noble Phantasm, it is necessary to first acquire an extra supply of prana from alternative sources. His current source is the incredible mana thick atmosphere of Equestria.

Magic Resistance

Cannot cancel spells, but magic damage is reduced somewhat.

Charisma

Originally A: At this point, it is no longer popularity, but rather a kind of spell (curse) in itself. Currently B: Suitable for a king of a country.

Divinity

Measures whenever one has Divine Spirit aptitude. Originally at A due to being 2/3 demigod, but reduced due to his dislike of the gods. At present reduced to rank C due to prolonged exposure to Angra Mainyu's corruptive influence. Angra Mainyu initially believed to be a manifestation of the Persian god of darkness that tainted the Holy Grail from within by exposing it and all that it contained to 'all the evils in the world'.

Golden Rule

Money problems are completely unknown.

Fourth verse/Perilous encounters

Year of our Alicorn 1001
The Molten lands, Barbed Mountain
Two weeks before Gilgamesh's discharge from Ponyville hospital

The two hooded figures walked calmly amongst the blackened stone of the active volcano that was the Barbed Mountain. One was tall, walking on two legs. The second was equine and following closely behind the first. The tall figure was careful in treading through this treacherous terrain, mindful as it skirted as far as he could walk around the boiling magma pools that littered the mountain's highest plateau as far as the eye could see. The equine one, simply didn't have to.

He paid no heed to the mocking hungry eyes of the dragon brood around him. No satisfaction to the rude and vicious remarks of their young. He simply walked amongst them fearless, for he knew that they would not harm him. Not only were they not allowed but they would simply not dare. Not while the king's gift walked next to him. Even stupid animals like these dragons knew well enough not to mess with their betters.

The pair suddenly came to stop as a dragon leaped from its perch on the surrounding spires landing before them. The monstrous crimson lizard gazed down at the pair with harsh disapproving eyes.

"So, what are a griffon and a monster doing in our house?" It grumbled.

Judging by the way his tongue spat and crashed against his teeth, it was obvious that the dragon was unfamiliar with their language. Still, it was the best they could hope for this far from any form of civilized life. The Molten lands belonged to the dragons, and dragons were, by nature, a barbaric and instinctive race. It was any wonder that one of them had actually bothered to learn a foreign language in and on itself.

"The usual business, Ascelion." The tall figure responded.

"This is far from our 'usual business', ambassador. Not when you've brought this abomination with you." The equine figure in question growled at the dragon's words. The unthinkable happened and the mountainous dragon actually flinched at the threat of the tiny thing ten times less his size.

The dragon humph, trying to save face before his brood by openly glaring at the equine figure. Still, the ambassador was amazed to note that a dragon like Ascelion chose to avoid direct confrontation with his companion. Amazed but, all things considered, not really surprised.

"Who would you have of us, ambassador?" Ascelion asked, finally giving up glaring pointlessly at his equine companion.

"We're looking for your best." The ambassador responded.

The dragon seemed to contemplate these words.

"You mean the king?" He asked surprised. The figure shook its head as a 'no'.

"You mean our brightest?" Ascelion ask suspiciously.

Again the griffon mimed 'no'.

A vicious grin split Ascelion's monolithic maw.

"Ahhh....him then."

The griffon nodded.

"What should I call him?" The ambassador inquired.

"Let’s see,” the dragon responded by running a claw across his chin in deep thought. "I think 'Wormwing' would be most appropriate."

The ambassador nodded with satisfaction.

"Very well. Lets us talk business."

Chapter 5:
Fourth verse/Perilous encounters

The drizzling waters of lavish fountains and chirping birds graced the king’s palace with their southing, harmonious melodies, marking the beginning of yet another glorious day in the household of him who is Gilgamesh. Deep within his chambers as he sat, surrounded by veils, carpets and curtains of priceless fabrics of unmatched artistry, upon four legs resting before the awe-inspiring bed of silken sheets and fine feathered pillows, he who is Gilgamesh paid no heed to the striking symphony of nature that encompassed his glorious person.

The hero king’s senses were instead muddled with a most scalding sensation of frustration and ire as thought of a bloodied righteous revenge encompassed his awareness and perceptions. With ponderings as such filling his mind he gazed down ravenous rage and vile hate at the traitorous instigator of his troubles. With narrowed eyes filled of spend patience, he took in the abhorrent being’s round, pink face. Contemplate, did the hero, the most fitting method of punishment for the target of his fury. Yet he did not act, yet he hesitated, for he knew that if in violence he resorted, of this game he would be the looser and for he was Gilgamesh, he could not loose.

In turn, gazing at the King of Heroes, the adolescent pink unicorn’s sapphire eyes too showed frustration and boredom, indeed insulting the delicate sensibilities of the Golden King. She was inpatient, he knew. For his response she waited, he knew. Yet, even in face of this challenging expectation, again the God King did not act, for he had to be careful, thoughtful, and focused. The task expected of him was against his very nature and indeed it was-

“Will you pass the ball already? It’s almost time for school!” Dinky roared. Her patience was at an end.

From deep within his reverie, the God King jolted, his eyes rocketing up from the pink tether-ball resting on the floor, to regard the young incensed spitfire. At her, he scowled.

“Again you interrupt me!” He spat. “This is not such a task were your insistent prattling will be deemed acceptable!” He shouted, transferring his focus back to the round object before his hooves. “This is battle of wills between the grandeur that is me and this worthless upstart! My unworthy adversary will obey! Against my superior resolve its resistance will perish and I shall not withdraw my efforts until its will is broken!”

The pink unicorn frowned at his words, exasperated. For the fifth time in those scant few hours since the end of her morning slumber, she sighed.

Come on Gil, it’s just mage-ball! You’re not supposed to set the damn thing on fire or something; just levitate the ball to me.” She pleaded. Her companion, however, would have none of that.

“I said quiet, you! You are distracting me, Gilgamesh, from my latest, most demanding conquest!” He roared! His crimson glimmering eyes glared holes at the volleyball sized sphere, of course, to no effect.
“Demanding?” Dinky deadpanned, raising a most galling eyebrow. “Gil, they use this at pre-school to teach us unicorn children the basics of magical theory application.”

Once more, Gilgamesh shifted his gaze, this time to glower at the sardonic unicorn child before him. No, he reprimanded himself, throwing his advisor’s child in boiling oil would not be the proper course of action in this situation. It was beneath him. He would however, have to have a stimulating conversion with Ditzy over the subject of child discipline in the near future.

Gilgamesh humped, turning his attention back to the task at han-hoof-dammit!

“I am not such a witch that I would be familiar with your abominable craft!” He growled, determined now, more than ever to conquer this obstacle regardless of distractions.

“You’re a unicorn.” Dinky deadpanned. Her efforts were quick to be ignored.

“You should just be thankful that I accepted to aid you with your homework if at all!” Gilgamesh exclaimed, indignant. His heart however, was not in it. With an angry tempo instead it beat, for his constant troubles at performing even this meager act of inborn unicorn magic.

“What?” Dinky squawked. “You’re the one who asked my mom drag me here! First thing in the morning too!” She protested.

“Damnable thing!” Gilgamesh muttered, to whom or what Dinky could not tell. She did however notice as the hero-king’s horn unleashed a brief spark of crimson.

“Hey! Hey! You’re doing it! You’re doing it!” She exclaimed and a second and a third spark emerged, each more notable that the one before. The magenta ball thus begun to rise and rise, climbing higher above the ground with every new flash of magical discharge, until finally its profound ascent stopped, reaching its optimal apex.

There it hovered, at whooping five centimeters over the tiled floor.

Gilgamesh gloated, Dinky sighed.

“Heh! Once more I am victorious!” He cheered. The arrogance in his voice almost was palpable. “See you ignorant child? None defies the will Gilgamesh! Despite this being but my first attempt in the field of your kind’s magical craft, my performance is phenomenal! Do you not agree?” He said, looking down at her expectantly.

Dinky rolled her eyes. Just go with it, she concluded.

“Okay, you were right, I was wrong. Now, why don’t just float the thing at me and we can call it a day? I’m really gonna be late for class!” Any further argument was cut short at the sound of hooves knocking against the door.

Dinky, are you there?” Ditzy called out.

“Yeah mom. I’m here.” The foal shouted back.

“Okay, good.” The door gently crept open and hesitantly did Ditzy’s poke her head through the resulting crack. “Are you guys done yet?” She asked. “We really have to get going. The race track is about to open, and we can’t have you be late to school,” she claimed.

“Uhh, yeah. I think we’re done here?” Dinky responded, looking inquisitively at the golden colt that employed her mother. At first he scowled, obviously unhappy at this turn of events. A few moments later, thankfully, he relented, snorting loudly.

“Very well.” He claimed, turning away. “I do not believe I require any further assistance. You may go.”

“Thanks Gil.” Ditzy smiled warmly, motioning her daughter through the door. “Oh, uh. Is there anything extra you want done today?” She inquired.

“No. Just your regular duties will suffice.” He stated, his attention once more slipping towards the still magically hovering sphere. “Just remember to inform any visitors of my absence.”

“Uhhh...You’re going somewhere?” Ditzy asked, puzzled.

“Ditzy,” he sighed irritably. “Were you not so helpfully obedient during my first few weeks in this damnable place, I would have long fired you for your absentminded disposition.”

“Ehehe...Sorry.” She giggled nervously. Gil could be a real nitpicker at times, Ditzy privately mused. To those that served him he was magnanimous, true. He always treated them fairly and always expected the best, even from the lowest of his employees. Unfortunately, that very trust also pinged him as one of those particularly precarious employers you never wanted to cross. There had been some rather unfortunate incidents in the past few weeks. Not much is to be said but it involved a tomato, a book and a rather specific form of sword-flinging. This time, thankfully, he didn’t appear to be all that miffed. Ditzy could count herself lucky. The golden king always seemed to favor her, inherent problems with temporal perception be damned. Indeed, although he would never admit it, he had grown a Celestia-blessed, thrice-damned from his perspective, soft spot for the wall-eyed mare.

That in mind, the mare was not surprise to hear no further complaint from her...she was hesitant in calling him a friend. Instead, the King of Heroes forcefully tore away from the point of his focus, the magically shimmering sphere hovering over the floor tile, to tower over the mare with an expression that mirrored nothing but pride and...that was glee right? For his plans for the day?!?

“Let me say this again. Today, I’m going hunting.” He stated proudly, gazing down upon her.

“Wait...Did you just say hunting?” Dinky exclaimed, instantly alarmed. “As in hunting-hunting? You’re gonna go after some poor helpless animal?”

“Oh you! Don’t be silly, ponies don’t hunt. That’s only what natural born predators like say...uhh...griffins do!” Smiled the wall-eyed mare, petting her daughter’s head in that condescending way only mothers could pull off.
“What a delightful way of putting it Ditzy...indeed, hunting is something only natural born predators do.” Dinky had to wonder at moments like this how her mother could possibly be missing the positively bloodthirsty smile that Gilgamesh kept flashing at them.

“See dear? All that Gil wants is nice quiet stroll around Everfree after being cooped up in the hospital for so long.” Gilgamesh threw back his head, filling the sleeping chambers with the sound of his deep, malignant laugher.

“Are you seriously not seeing this?”

“Oh, Gil, I almost forgot. I may have mentioned this before but every visitor to the forest has to go through the caretaker’s hut first. By royal decree, nopony is allowed in there without an official guide. Be sure to do that ok? We wouldn’t want you breaking the rules now and getting yourself arrested or something.” Gilgamesh’s hair-raising roars of mirth soared to a new awe-inspiring and terrifying crescendo.

“I mean really, am I the only one in this entire house that’s actually hearing this?”

“There, there sugar muffin. Don’t be rude.” The former-mailmare whispered, still stroking the filly’s mane. ”You need to respect other ponies’ share of crazy.”

Dinky could only pout.

“Oh Ditzy, you always make the most amusing statements. No wonder I still keep you around!” Exclaimed the King of Kings as his laughter receded.

“Thanks!” Ditzy chirped happily. “Are you gonna be okay for a tour through the forest though? I mean. You couldn’t even walk properly a few weeks ago. Don’t be mad at me for saying this, but I still see you stumbling about here and there. I’m just kind of worried for your safety.”

True enough, all signs of joviality vanished from his person the very instant she uttered those word. For the second time that morning however he chose to withhold his rage. For a full few actual seconds, he honestly appeared to contemplate her question. Finally, he snorted.

“Your worries are unfounded if not touching Ditzy.” As gracefully as he could, he hopped up, dancing at the tips of his legs, as if to prove his point. “These infernal hooves do escape my full control still, but I do believe I have obtained enough command over this accursed body to manage a light stroll through the woods. Running should prove...challenging, true, yet should prove enough to complete my endeavor.”

“If you say so. “ Ditzy sighed. He could be so stubborn at times. “So...when are you going?”

“Immediately!”

As if on cue, the golden king’s magically levitating tetherball exploded in a rush of decompressing air and soot.

As morning turned to evening and the majestic Equestrian sun followed its predetermined course through the heavens, a young filly of ivory coat and curly mane trotted towards home, eyes and head downcast, happy to see another day come to a close and yet disappointed it didn’t end as she wished.

Young Sweetie Belle sighed. Another morning gone by, another morning she trotted around with a blank flank, incidentally, another school day gone by, another school day she had been made fun of for said blank flank. Hay fries, what were they doing wrong? She kept asking herself. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle had been so sure that mosaics would have been the thing, THEIR thing. That all desirable yet elusive special talent that would forever illuminated their lives. Unfortunately, in accordance to Apple bloom’s open skepticism and very vocal doubts, the mosaic thing had got them nowhere. In other words, it was the same old same old. Sweetie Belle was starting to suspect that artistic culture wasn’t really the basket in which the trio of Cutie Mark Crusaders should been putting their proverbial eggs in.

Sowing, painting, sketching, sculpting via water paint, oil paint, hoof paint, graphite, cloths, marble, rock, macaroni, and even fine silks and gold…long story, had all ended up with the same result, which was, you guessed it! None, nada, no change, back cheeks as blank and boring as ever. In retrospect, this whole crusading thing really wasn’t going all that well…or at the very least, as well as Sweetie Belle hoped.

Honestly, she considered, returning back to her earlier thoughts, they had to be doing something wrong. But what could it be? They had already interviewed virtually the entirety of Ponyville for any Cutie mark Intel and all stories had ended up the same way, do random thing, end up with random flank tattoo.

Sweetie Belle hummed to herself. Information, that’s what they needed, more information. Obviously the first hand and eyewitness accounts of the entire town could not possibly be enough. All the ponies involved were just too streamlined. Their cutie mark stories had all been similar and plain, too similar and plain.

Sweetie Belle spent a moment considering the possibility of a national cutie mark conspiracy.

Pause.

Maybe-

Pause

Nah.

Still, all the situations they had heard about had been smooth, simple and unremarkable affairs, as far as cutie mark stories went that was because getting a cutie mark via rainbow nuke or instilling the very essence of life to a lifeless dragon egg wasn’t really all that unremarkable. As efforts went, however, none of the Crusade’s interviewees had reported any sort of effort even remotely reassembling the things the crusaders themselves were forced to do on a near daily basis just to attain that illustrious ‘mark’ , holidays and time spend in the hospital to recuperate from the resulting horrid injuries of said efforts notwithstanding.

No, the crusaders needed something new…someONE new, somepony who had lived an experience somewhat closer to their own. Somepony strange, somepony odd, somepony different…and Pinkie pie did not count.

With yet another sullen sigh, the young filly turned the corner, coming within sight of her home which also doubled as her sister’s dress shop, Ponyville’s own Carousel Boutique. She walked slowly, mind deep in thought, approaching the structure at low spirits and low morale. Eventually, her lucid trot got her across the grassy street and, with a heavy heart; she opened the door, preparing to greet her sister for yet another evening as a blank flank.

“Rarity! I’m-“

“-o what about his cutie mark?”

THAT got Sweetie Belle’s attention.

“His cutie mark?” The filly heard Rarity inquire from the general direction of the living room.

“Yes, you can tell a lot about a pony from his cutie mark. What did HIS look like?” That sounded like Carrot Top.

Sweetie Belle ducked, lowering her body to against the ground and carefully closing the door behind her. The conversing pair had obviously not noticed the filly’s entry yet and that was a fact that Sweetie Belle found as to her advantage to keep. If the filly’s presence was made known, there was a good chance that her sister and Carrot Top would cut short their suddenly very interesting conversation or, worse yet, dismiss Sweetie Belle to her room by labeling the subject as ‘private’. Celestia knows how many times THAT happened. Really, what could it possibly be that two mares be talking about that was too ‘private’ for a filly to overhear?

…Not, that is to say, that Sweetie Belle was in the habit overhearing a lot of Rarity’s conversations. Oh Celestia no! Eavesdropping was rude, insensitive, uncouth and all around bad, bad, BAD…as her sister had put it the last time she caught Sweetie Belle doing it.

Either way, it was too important this time to worry about her sister catching her in the act. The future of the Cutie Mark Crusaders could very well be depending on Sweetie Belle…ahem…just happening to catch the tail end of this evening’s discussion between her beloved sister and her friend. The filly crept along the boutique. Through the entrance and hallways she sneaked, finally coming to crouch behind the doorway of the living room.

Ever so carefully poking her head around that particular corner, she caught sight of the pair of young mares currently sitting on either side of the coffee table, one on the sofa and the other on a very familiar couch. Both ponies were currently in possession of a cup of tea, Carrot top holding hers in hoof and Rarity levitating her own share in a cocoon of that telltale azure arcane energy. Sweetie Belle’s wondering eye widened with a silent gasp. She slammed her front hoof to her muzzle, to silence her own surprise. The cause of it? Rarity, herself, or more specifically, her appearance.

Her sister’s mane was frazzled and her eyes looked more haggard than ever. It was very rare for Rarity to appear before others in such a look, especially in mid-day. The only other time Sweetie Belle had witnessed the marshmallow seamstress bear such an appearance, was when she had a massive order to fill, which, in turn, resulted in many sleepless nights alongside one of the manikins. It was rather obvious to Sweetie Belle that something was weighing heavily on Rarity’s mind and, in fact, had been for the better part of the day.

“You know…it’s very strange.” Sweetie Belle heard Rarity say. “I…I don’t really remember what his cutie mark looked like.” She continued hesitantly. “But…well…it’s unreasonable, I would know. I was talking with him eye-to-eye for the better part of the afternoon…and I always pay attention to other ponies when they speak. I spent hours yesterday trying to understand that uncouth showoff of a noble stallion. But…I-I-now that I look back at it…for some reason, I just didn’t think to look.”

“Well, THAT’s certainly odd…,” Carrot Top frowned.

“Odd? Carrot, this entire meeting was just BIZZARE! I can’t explain it, but there was something very wrong with that pony!” Rarity paused, carefully considering her next words. “This may sound silly, but when I was talking to him I didn’t feel like I was speaking to a real living, breathing creature at all. Heavens Carrot, it felt as if…as if I was looking at somepony…some THING that shouldn’t even exist. All of it, the entire time I was facing him, it all just felt so…so…unreal! Ethereal even!”

“I…uhhh, I’m sure it was just you ‘Arity. “

“Oh, I’d like to think so too Carrot but this, this disaster of a social call has been lurking about in my head since yesterday. I’m sure of it! There’s just something nagging about that colt, something hiding at plain sight yet invisible to the eye. It’s like it’s just there, just in the edges of my vision, but I can’t quite make it out. It’s terribly distracting, especially in that one point! Celestia help me! I swear to all my stars that there was a moment, a single instant where he didn’t even look like a pony at all! It felt as if some monster suddenly jumped out of a storybook or some old legend just to devour me! It was all just so surreal!”

“A monster out of a storybook? Really?” Carrot top drew back, eyeing her company carefully. “A tad overdramatic, don’t you think. I mean, sure, the guy sounds like a grade A jerk, but I think labeling him as ‘an ancient eldritch terror from the deep dark depths of Love Craft’s spooky imagination’ is jumping the cannon a smidgeon too fast.”

“What? Oh! Oh, yes, of course.” The seamstress responded absentmindedly. It was obvious that most of her mind was lost mulling on her personal musings on the subject.

“Look ‘Arity. Why don’t you take the rest of the day off? Relax a bit. Don’t take this wrong, but sweetie, you’re a mess right now. Some sleep will obviously do you good.”

“Yes, yes. Of course you’re right. I doubt I’ll be able to do any proper work today either way. When Sweetie Belle returns from class, I’ll close shop, at least until I regain my some of my usual decorum.”

Still watching quietly from the sidelines, an intrigued and admittedly almost ecstatic Sweetie Belle recognized those words as just the right cue to finally announce her presence to the living room’s now sober occupants.

“Oh siiiiis!” She sung playfully. “I’m hooome!”

“Sweetie Belle?” Rarity exploded, her head rounding at the sound of her sister so quickly that it caused Carrot Top to actually wince in sympathy. Rarity would need an ice pack after that nap of hers, the farmer realized.

“Good evening, sis!” The filly waved back before turning to her sister’s company. “You too, Miss Top.”

“Evenin’ Sweetie Belle. We didn’t hear you come in.” The farmer mare responded with a smile.

At the thought of that however, Rarity’s eyes narrowed.

“Young filly, were you eavesdropping again?” If nothing else Sweetie Belle had the decency to look shocked at her older sister’s accusation.

“Who me? Of course not! Eavesdropping on other people’s conversation is uncouth, just as you said. A good filly like me would never do something like that.” Aaaand add a winning smile. Naturally, Rarity didn’t look very convinced. Devoid as she was of any proof for further argument the marshmallow mare could only hump.

“Very well, I’ll just take your word for it this time.” The seamstress stated firmly. “I better not catch you doing it again, however, or it’s no dessert for a week. There are just some things that are too sensitive for a young filly to overhear! Am I clear?” She dictated through narrowed eyes.

“Why of course, Rarity! Proper ladies like us never intrude on others.” Two days later Rarity would come to the verified conclusion that yes, the smile on Sweetie Belle’s face in this instance had indeed been a touch too superfluous to be trusted. For now though, the seamstress just nodded contently at her younger sister’s timely response.

“Fair enough. Now, if we are finished with all this tedious business, would you like to join us for tea? I’m sure you have quite bit you’d like to share about today’s school day.”

Sweetie Belle shook her head in response.

“No thank you Rarity, we Cutie Mark Crusaders have an important meeting scheduled for today.” The filly exclaimed proudly.

“Is that so?” The statement was quick to rouse Rarity’s suspicions. “Very well, however, before you go, you have to promise me to stay away from that new terror of a pony that settled down in Peppermint’s old house. I don’t want you anywhere near him, do you understand.”

“Yes sis! I promise that won’t go anywhere near to that house until you give me your consent.”

“Good! Well, move along then.”

Trees whizzed by in a dizzying blur of upturned soil and rustling foliage, the path ahead coiling and twisting like a frenzied serpent to it frantic fearful eyes.

It was only natural.

Rare as it was for apex predators such as themselves, terror seldom failed to overcome reason and calm in the face of peerless adversity. Ancient instincts of self-preservation roared supreme and even the once might predators of the Everfree Forest were prompted to rout. The few defiant young that refused to flee, fell in a vile stroke of golden magic and light. So great and terrible, so beautiful and magnificent as it was it caused bark-skin to shatter and sprig tendons to rapture, like so much tender hare-bone under fangs of splintered wood. Surrender had been met with brutality, warding growls with a crushing aurous hoof.

So the timber wolf pack fled.

Run and run, run they did, clinging to life with the desperate power that only cornered prey could muster, but the predator, the hunter, the killer, the unnatural being, was fast to give chase.

That was all that Splintertooth, alpha male of the Timber wolf pack of the Eerie-Bark Tree, lord of bloody splintered teeth, gouger of rabbit flesh and killer of the manticore of Black Stone Ridge, could think before the forest once more flashed with strange logic-defying magic and dreaded searing fire. The monster of a timber wolf could only stare with dread and apprehension as yet one more pack mates were reduced to little more than a howling bonfire, writhing in a mutilated mess of ancient bark even as hellfire death claimed him.

To their right a flash of silver streaked and Splintertooth could only boggle with wonder as a citadel of unnatural ice bloomed to entomb Barbmaw, his most trusted, in cold merciless oblivion. Hellish laughter filled Splintertooth's sensitive ears from the surrounding forest. The former alpha of the now decimated timber wolf pack of the Eerie Bark Tree came to the horrifying realization that he was now indeed the last one left.

The clinging of celestial chain alarmed Splintertooth, turning his attention to the branches overhead, where even his mana-borne eyes would barely catch a glimmering blur of something as it shot above the trees and ahead of him. In a chilling moment of clarity in regards to his current peril, Splintertooth attempted to change course yet his swift paws failed him for by then he was already too late.

The ethereal angel of death bearing a faux pony-form descended upon a divine silver chain from the foliage of the ancient trees of Everfree to land before him, effectively cutting off Splintertooth's last avenue of escape. His cocky grin deceivingly filled with grass-eater teeth flashed in condemnable superiority. Scrutinized as he was underneath those malicious crimson eyes, Splintertooth came to what would be his last decision of valor.

With a lunge more savage than any his memory could provide him, Splintertooth soared through the air, fangs aiming at the murderous golden thing's neck.

The silver edge of an immolated blade was the last thing that Splintertooth even witnessed.

One lump of firewood.

Two lumps of firewood.

Three lumps of firewood.

With a self-satisfied smirk the incarnated King of Heroes shouldered the horribly mutilated corpses of his latest prey.

Tonight's celebratory bonfire roast would be fit for a king!

Gilgamesh laughed at his own personal godly sense of humor. Ah, he cracked himself up. As certain participants of the last Holy Grail Wars would surely attest to (under threat of a thousand blades), his divine heritage extended to much more than just a perfectly sculpted body.

Only in a few hours and the hunt was already proceeding as expected of one such as himself, that is to say perfectly. Even impeded by his new horrid equine body, the King of Heroes had managed to wreck glorious havoc amongst the forest’s, admittedly strange, wildlife. Not that it was difficult per-say. The forest's wondrous creatures had apparently no sense of self-preservation worth mentioning. Where animals of his world would hide and observe their hunters, these particularly inane beasts would simple charge upon him.

The more-than-demi-god supposed it was logical. The forest's monsters were far from normal mortal animals after all. Just like all the wretched life in this gods-forsaken dimension they wore the forms of great and terrible mythical beasts. When first coming across a manticore, now his planned dinner for the day, even Gilgamesh's almighty had be left staggering by the seemingly casual emergence of such famed phantasmal beast of legend. Even after ascertaining the mortality of the monster without fail, the forest did not cease to amaze him at every sense. The sheer array of magical and mystical life forms to live in this single forest, even designedly packed and remote as it was, was nigh unthinkable.

In the face of the aura of mysticism and magic of this 'Everfree Forest', Gilgamesh could not help but recall cherished memories of battle and honor. Priceless heartwarming recollections of his adventures in the great forest of cedar trees in the south, where he and his great friend Enkidu had once hunted and slain the great half-demon Humbaba in the days of their youth, when the ancient seas and stones of the world were still young and the divine roamed freely upon the earth.

Oh that ancient, wonderful age. The time when men were strong and wonders never ceased. The modern world failed to even compare to the old age. Nothing but an ugly ruin, an empty and grey reflection of what it once was. A boring and unseemly place whose very stone had forgotten the touch of the gods and the endless wonders that once roamed it were thought as fiction, where once mighty sorcery had be reduced to self-righteous slight of hand and where true heroes became naught but a rare commodity. Oh how he longed to end that world. If only he had managed to claim the lives of thrice accursed masters of his dear Saber with his endless treasury. Even with the mockery the Holy Grail had become, the King of Heroes would have been free to reshape the world back to its former glory.

However, that was then, and this was now. Neither true king nor hero would ever allow themselves to loose sight of the present in favor of the now long gone mistakes of the past.

Baleful ideas of his former world aside, the King of Heroes rejoiced! To think that he had at first cursed his arrival to this, still mostly repulsive, dimension! The fates would not dare to be as insolent to one such as him without giving him something in return! Be it in this namby-pamby world of candy-floss pony caricatures as it was, Gilgamesh found this forest of the Age of Gods to his liking.

Thoroughly done collecting his wooden spoils, the golden hero begun the slow and laborious walk-trot (Godsdammit) back to his improvised camping grounds.

Gilgamesh gazed through the dense foliage above with a sudden apprehension. He could already see the faded rays of the sun setting above the tree line. Despite a loathing to admit it, Gilgamesh was beginning to feel the wear and tear of a laborious day weighing heavily upon his chiseled back. Even one such as he found himself at odds with the demanding nature of the brutal world of hunter and prey that was Everfree. Trapped as he was in a frail and unfamiliar form and bereft of a much desired source of prana, the true king's monumental reserves of strength and stamina were beginning to wane. The hunter had decided it was time to partake on the day's spoils and celebrate the success of this day's efforts.

Tired and burdened by the slain hides of the fallen tree-beasts, the path of return was indeed treacherous to Gilgamesh. With care he treaded around fields of thorn and felled rotted trees, waded and torn through veritable mountains of thick vine and branch. For hours he walked and climbed, countless times almost finding himself lost within the tumultuous maze that the gigantic forest presented. It was almost aggravating but finally, the King of Heroes came within sight of a clearing of lush blue flowers where a skeleton of a hunter's outpost had been set up.

Even as he approached, Gilgamesh appraised his work. In the center of the blue field of flowers he had cleared for a campfire, to right a makeshift tent while to the far left piled the bodies of his more edible prey, ready to be skinned and cooked for the night's celebratory roast. He had heard and read from the many doctors of the Ponyville hospital that ponies were unable to eat meat and even the mere mention of the act brought terror and bile rising in the faces of his informants. Privately, Gilgamesh considered the claim to be stupid and ignorant. Many times in his youth he had both seen and given starving steeds the flesh of animals upon which to feed, there were few things to consume after all during his and Ekindu's travels through the deserts of his now forgotten homeland. The concept that these so-called Ponies worked differently, Gilgamesh was more that willing to put to the test, thoughts of perfectly roasted golden-brown kill-flesh overpowering any argument against the act.

In fact, now that he thought back on his time in the Ponyville hospital, he had stated as much to his, by then already, horrified overseers.

Gilgamesh smiled fondly at the memory.

He wasted no time in relocating his person from the edge of the clearing and towards the field of blue flowers where his tend lay. Even as he lay foot-hoof-DAMMIT....even as he laid HOOF amongst the sinister blooms he felt his magic resistance flaring. He had no idea what this fauna was but even from the very moment he had lay eyes on it he had easily recognized its magical abilities. Even before the timely end of his mortal life, Gilgamesh was no stranger in magical plant life and its potentially harmful effects. Thankfully, the magic emitted by these flowers was week, admittedly incredibly unconventional, sinister and subtle. It was no matter to one such as him however as even weakened as his was, his magic resistance had been more than enough to combat the creeping negative effects of the deceptive blue flower.

With the flowers' curse repelling any potential overzealous or insolent predators and thieves, it had been a no-brainier for the golden king to choose this location as his base of operations.

Gilgamesh had just unloaded the broken bodies of the dead timber wolves when a voice in the wind caught his ears.

Zecora was in trouble of the mortal kind.

Neither animal nor beast was that which threatened her; instead she had found herself caught in one of the many hidden dangers of the treacherous Everfree.

Mere moments before the sporting zebra had been scouring one of the forest's many swamps for any potentially potent ingredients to add in her magical brews. At the time she had thought herself lucky when amongst the many muddy puddles and sinkholes she spotted a rather interesting sort of magic-riddled luminescent mushroom. As a zebra living in a forest of Everfree's nature, Zecora was familiar of the many dangers it could present. She was more than well aware that the muddy banks of the Everfree swamps had the tendency to swallow careless, lost ponies whole, in mere seconds drawing them to their deceptive watery depths, never to be seen again.

That in mind, Zecora had made sure to be especially vigilant in creeping along what dry-patches of swampy soil she could identify in her attempt of reaching the rare ingredient. As such she found it quite embarrassing when, a few paltry hoof-steps from the glowing mushrooms, she found herself, quite unfortunately she reflected, misjudging the stability of her footing.

What had followed was nothing but a blur of collapsing soil, upturned mud and splashing swamp water. Next thing the witch-doctor knew, she was jaw-deep, almost chocking in fact, in a particularly vicious but, thankfully, shallow pond. Hooves trapped in constricting mud and facing entrapment in a ditch until a rather unappealing end of utter solitude and tortuous long-drawn starvation, the zebra choose to resort to the last action available to her.

That is, to say, she started yelling for help....loudly.

Considering her current geographical location and its inexplicable ability to drive away ponies like a snarling lion would a mouse, Zecora was indeed quite surprise to find her calls for help answered. Doubtingly so when said response came from what she could only refer to as dirt-riddled and golden-coated unholy specter of the forest.

"Oh? What's this that I see? Yet another of your foolish kind caught in a situation far too big for you to handle. No doubt a result of your own incompetence, and your kind's utter ineptitude in fending for yourselves."

Ears raised in alarm, Zecora could only gape.

"No, wait." The red-eyed stranger paused. His unearthly crimson orbs scanning her feature. "No…no, YOU...you are something different. You appear to be in pony form but a pony you are not."

The zebra for her part blinked and blinked hard. Was she really seeing what she thought she was seeing?

"Tell me creature, can you speak? Answer carefully. Depending on your response you will either find yourself over an open fire by nightfall or escaping your imminent tube with your pathetic life." His tone betrayed the sheer merciless depths of the pony before her. Prompted by this very intensity of his presence, almost magical as it was, the zebra was finally promoted to speech.

“What is this that I see? Could it really be?” She uttered, more out of instinctive reflex than ordered conscious thought.

"Ah! So it talks!" The stranger exclaimed what could barely pass as dull surprise. "Very well creature, you have piqued my interest. You should feel honored! State your name and I, Gilgamesh, King of Heroes, shall spare your worthless life."

"Uh...I-" She hesitated. The wise zebra was, for the first time in decades, speechless at the sight that present itself before her. She was thankfully quick to bring an order to her thoughts and offer a proper response. Not too soon either as she could already see annoyance blooming on the pony-like creature's features.

"A zebra I am, stranger, and Zecora is my name. From southern distant lands of Zebrica, I hail. Yet this in this forest I choose to live, brewing medicines and potions from its many gifts."

"I see." An almost imperceptible nod of the head was all that signified this stranger's, this Gilgamesh's, acknowledgement. His interrogation didn't appear quite finished yet, which, for Zecora, was a fact quite unfortunate, considering that she was starting to feel swamp water at the corners of her mouth, that is.

"So, tell me...zebra." The word sounded strange coming from his lips, as if he was unfamiliar in its meaning. "What ingredient was it that an...alchemist like you could be seeking in this forest that led you this current pitiful state." Ah, he was sharp this one. Zecora could see greedy interest emerging in his other-worldly blood-red orbs. She made a point of being quick in dashing his hopes.

"That mushroom by the riverbank I was seeking, and as you see, this resulted in me inevitably sinking."

Gilgamesh turned to appraise said fungus. As expected he dismissed it as unimportant almost instantaneously.

"Tsk. How dull." He sneered and for a second Zecora feared that he would abandon her to her fate right then and there. Thankfully her fears were appeased when she found a thick vine being tossed next to her head in short order. Wasting little time she bit down and hard on the thick fibrous rope even as Gilgamesh did the same on his own position on dry earth. With a heave of mind-boggling strength unbecoming of the stranger's lean form, Zecora found herself almost soaring through the swamp water, her hooves being drawn through the mud as if the layers upon layers of heavy clay that comprised it weren't even there.

Zecora gave a few silent prayers to the spirits of the world as finally, finally she emerged from the gluttonous bog. The moment her legs touched upon suitably stable soil upon the riverbank, she all but leaped out, heedless of the layers of filth she was bound to drag with her on her coat. Her mysterious benefactor instead was not. Even as she shook her coat off like she had seen so many other small furry animal do when wet, she noticed from the corner of her eye the form of Gilgamesh drawing away and eying her with clear disgust. Normally this would have promoted a thorough scolding from her part but, for now, Zecora had much bigger things to worry about.

Namely, the said benefactor.

She decided to take things carefully and one step at a time. Turning to fate the still sneering visage of the golden pony, she nodded appropriately and started putting the first phase of her plan to work.

"Thank you my good pony for your time. Truly, you pony-folk are very kind. Perhaps I take a few of your moments more, your good act I wish to repay and even the score."

Gilgamesh sniffed.

"At least you know to show gratitude when your superiors exert themselves for your benefit. However, what could a mere alchemist possibly have to offer to one such as I who possess all the treasure in the world?"

OF ALL THE ARROGANT-! It took all of Zecora's inner strength and mental discipline to stop herself from decking the arrogant jerk for that comment alone. Her savior or not, nobody looked down at a Zebrican witch-doctor without being on the receiving end of a mix of nasty magical powders and concoctions. Gilgamesh appeared to take note of her ire for his amazingly, incredibly irritating smirk of self-satisfaction grew even so impossibly wider.

The zebra's left eye twitched. HARD.

"How about some warm tea? I assure you that I make the best to be. You seem to have wondered this forest for quite some time. Something to drink and eat should help you survive."

"Humph. I assure you, I am quite capable of fending for myself, unlike you, apparently." Twitch, twitch. "However, if you are so eager to show your gratitude towards your king’s merciful actions then I shall allow it, magnanimous as I am."

TWITCH.

"Yes, indeed, now to my hut follow me if you please." A stewing Zecora ground out, desperately trying to hid her indignation lest she drove the stranger away. With a deep breath she calmed her throbbing nerves and carefully turned around to lead the pa-

"Indeed I please!"

TTTTWWWWIIIIIITCH!

"Are you sure about this Sweetie Belle?" Scootaloo asked her friend and fellow Cutie Mark Crusader. "I mean, I'm up for getting our cutie marks anytime but I heard some really weird things about this guy you want us to meet...not that I'm afraid or anything..." It was obvious to Sweetie Belle that her orange coated friend had more than a few reservations on their current course of action.

"Of course I'm sure Scoots. Besides, we don't have any choice. We tried everything else and nothing works." The unicorn appeased her friend.

"Ah dunno girls. It’s getting mighty late. Ah really dun' wanna be late for dinner, like last time." The lemon yellow earth-pony that was Applebloom shuddered at the unseen recollection, obviously not eager to repeat the circumstances involved.

"It’s okay Applebloom. This new pony lives just down from street from here. We'll do what we have to do, and I'm sure you'll be back to the farm before Applejack or Big Mac even realizes that you're gone." Sweetie Belle responded.

This act of utter necessity to which the rather notorious of trio of trouble-making Cutie Mark Crusaders was currently referring to, was of course the thorough investigation (interrogation) of the famous (infamous) new and rather wealthy resident of Ponyville on the subject of utmost importance (for them) that was the cutie mark.

It had come to a sunrise to Sweetie earlier that day to discover that both of her friends had heard rumors from various members of Ponyville of the mysterious disappearing cutie mark of their current target of interest. This of course only lead to Sweetie Belle's excitement swelling even further to reach nigh-suicidal levels of adorable giddiness before finally combusting in a rather sizable burst of frantic energy. Thus with Sweetie Belle's insistent prompting, the now newly-formed Cutie Mark Mystery Investigators (YAY!) took on what would soon be known as 'The Case of the Vanishing Cutie Mark'.

Which was why a bouncing Sweetie Belle and her two more than a little apprehensive friends were currently trotting along the grassy streets of Ponyville at nearly sundown, almost breaking curfew Applebloom was so thorough in reminding them once again. Destination? What used to be Old Peppermint's house by Sugarcube Corner, now know across town as the newly established Gilgamesh Palace or, as more commonly referred to amongst the citizens, 'that new arrogant p-hole's house'....Not that Sweetie Belle overheard Rarity saying that rude comment yesterday. Heavens no! Eavesdropping was wrong after all. She would deny any claims of otherwise to her dying breath.

"Ah know you know what you're doing Sweetie Belle. It’s just that...if ah'm reeeeaaally late that-"

"It’s okay Applebloom we're here."

And as stated, the old building came to view, however, what the trio found there, managed to stun them as effectively as a club to the head. Somehow, within the time span of the last five days, in other words since any of trio had visited the general area of the house, the structure had managed to sprout not one, but three gigantic towers onto it.

"What in tarnation?" Sweetie Belle heard Applebloom choke from somewhere in the distance. Like a thousand miles away or so. It was inconsequential to the unicorn foal, however, as a more important question suddenly took over her cognitive mind.

When in Celestia's name had THIS happened. More importantly, why hadn't any of them actually noticed it? By Equestria, those things here HUGE! Easily towering over all the surrounding building. It was like someone had painted a huge 'look at me I'm impressive!' sign over the house. An odd note of annoyance inexplicably rung from some unknown corner of Sweetie Belle's mind. Before she could stop herself her conscious mind suddenly found the rather cruder name for this place a tad more fitting than she would have thought.

"Ah can't imagine the kind o' bits it would take to build all of this fancy stuff this fast." This meant alot coming from Applebloom, Sweetie Belle noted. With her family running The Sweet Apple Acres apple farm, the filly was pretty knowledgeable when it came to matters of account-keeping.

"Girls," Scootaloo gulped, slightly intimidated by the sheer size of wealth put on display. "I'm not so sure about this. This guy must be pretty important to have a house like this. I'm not so sure that just barging in on him would be a good idea."

"O-Oh, come on girls!" The unicorn prompted, slowly regaining her voice. "We aren't gonna get intimidated by this stallion's house are we?" She could already see determination returning to her fellow crusader's eyes. Just one more push. "Remember! We are here to get our cutie marks! We can't back off now!"

"Yeah!" The other two exclaimed, their enthusiasm redoubling at the face of this new challenge.

"Cutie Mark Crusaders! Charge!" And most savagely charge they did screaming determination all the way...

...up until the estate's front gate where upon the trio stopped and politely looked for someone to let them in to the front yard. And what a front yard it was. Lush green grass extended till the eye could see and wondrous emerald art had been sculpted from the many sparkling bushes that marred the field.

"Oooohhh." All three of them sounded. A yard like this must have taken quite some effort and not few skilled earth pony gardeners to preserve such perfectly detailed and healthy form. In fact, far in the mini-garden's side and almost hidden behind the dense greenery, a stallion dressed in brown overalls even now was tending to one of the bushes.

The trio was quick to recognize him, not a very difficult task all things considered. Ponyville was quite small after all and they had indeed interviewed almost all of its residents about their respective cutie mark stories a while back.

"Mr. Wisp!" Applebloom called. From next to the bush Willow Wisp jolted, looking around for the source of the voice. "Mr. Willow Wisp, over here." At that, the stallion turned around to look at their direction, and at the sight of the trio a smile bloomed on his face. The stallion carefully placed his tools on the ground next to his area of work, before quickly trotting over to attend to his three little visitors.

"Girls! It’s been a long time!" He exclaimed, hastily opening the gate for them. "I haven't seen you three since that interview you gave me. Scoots, Sweetie Belle, good to see you! Applebloom, how's the farm going?"

"The farm's doing good Mr. Willow Wisp. My brother said you did a mighty good job helping him weed out the fields the other day. Told me to thank you all proper like if I saw you around. Sorry ah wasn't there to help last time." She said pawing at the ground. "Me and the girls were-"

"You were out crusading, I get that. Man, foals these days. You do the craziest stuff for that cutie mark don't ya." The stallion laughed heartily. "Well, what can I do you for? You looking for another interview? Cause I'm afraid I already told ya all I know."

The trio shook their heads as a negative.

"Oh? Then what are you girls doing here of all places?" Willow inquired, scratching his head with a single massive hoof.

Sweetie Belle took this chance to insert herself to the conversation.

"We're here mister Gir-Gilgu-Gillaga-Gigamashmallow? No, that doesn't sound right." Why was this colt's name so hard to say?

"Okay, okay, I get it. You're here to see the boss." The Gardner laughed. Gigamashmallow, he had to remember that one. "I'm afraid he isn't here at the moment."

"What?" Applebloom screeched in alarm. "We did he go?" Had they come all this way for nothing?

Willow shrugged helplessly.

"Sorry girls, not quite sure what to tell ya. Keeping tabs on old Goldymane isn't exactly in my job description."

"Pleeeeaaaase Mr. Willow Wisp." Scootaloo pleaded. "This could be reeeeaaaallly important for earning our cutie marks!"

"Fine, fine," he finally signed. "Just go and ask Lyra or Ditzy. At least one of those two is usually around the house. Just don't say anything about this okay? We aren't exactly allowed to let people in the main building without Gil's permission."

And just like that Willow Wisp found himself under the relentless assault of three young fillies showering him with hugs. He didn't get the chance to respond to this new development when with a hasty 'thank you', the cutie mark terrors leapt around him instantly transitioning to a direct collision course with the house door.

"Crazy foals." Willow chucked and slowly set off to return to work.

Dinky groaned.

This was utterly intolerable!

GAH! She almost choked on that very thought! Celestia help her! Her thoughts were starting to sound like Gil’s! The guy's bad influence was sipping into her mind!

That was it! She couldn't take it anymore!

Four hours had passed since the pink unicorn had returned from school and for the four hours she had absolutely nothing to do but watch her mother deal with her employer's finances and crayon on a few sketchbooks she had brought along from her from home. She understood that her mother needed to keep close to Gil's place while he himself was out frolicking in the woods (the EVERFREE woods of all places) but there was absolutely nothing to do here. As in nadda, zit, zero. Gil kept no interesting books, no toys, no paints or pencils, no nothing! Worse yet, she didn't know foals her age in this neighborhood and, friendly as they were, the pony-servants of the house were just too busy with their respective tasks to really attend to some foal's whims.

As fun and fulfilling as it was watching her mother's hidden talent at budgeting and accounting at work, borne as it was from a life of relative financial hardship, even enjoyable things lost their flavor after a while. Like ice cream. Goddess, she pretty much hated ice-cream by this point. If Red Pepper came to offer the 'cute whittle foal' another scoop of caramel-fudge ice cream, Dinky would go on a magical rampage...literally. What was it that Gil had said? For the common peasant excellence is in moderation? Or something like that. Gilgamesh was pretty hard to sort out at the best of times. One had to first wade through molasses of pure ego if one was to get ANYWHERE with what the guy said.

Buck this introspection thing! SHE WAS BORED!

BOREDBOREDBORED!

Just as Dinky's mind started to contemplate back to the concept of a mana-induced rampage, she was brought to the tips of her hooves at the sound of the door bell ringing!

YES YES YES!

"Oh muffin, can yo-"

"I'LL GET IT!" She was already rocketing through the compound even as those very words left her mouth. The door handle was in her hooves before the rest of the house's help even had the chance to even process the fact that they had visitors.

To say that Dinky was utterly delighted to see the gobsmacked faces of her three infamous classmates upon opening the door would have been a understatement as grievous as a war crime.

"Girls! Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, Scootaloo! Hi!"

"Uh...Dinky? What are you-?" Scootaloo tried.

"My mom works here now! Come in girls!"

"Thank you but we-"

"I said, COME IN!"

The Cutie Mark Crusaders scurried in the main hall only to exchange nervous glances as Dinky locked the door behind them.

"Uhhh...Dinky, you okay?" Applebloom cautiously asked.

"Okay? Why yes! I’m okay! I'm better than okay now that you guys are here!"

Cue nervous glances.

This time it was Sweetie Belle that tried to interject.

"Look Dinky we just want to-"

"-play games? Do each other's manes? Hang out? "

"...Actually-"

Sweetie Belle was taken aback when Dinky actually dived to the floor and started hugging her hooves in what could only be called the desperation of the damned.

"Come on! Let’s DO SOMETHING! I'm so bo-ho-ho-ho-ho-oooreeed!"

"Uhhhh....girls? Help?"

Scootaloo was at least brave enough to respond to her friend's predicament. Not that she was scared or anything.

"Listen Dinky we'd love to hang out an all but we kinda have this important Crusader business to do and-"

"Crusader business? How can I help? Cause I totally do that! I mean, you guys are utterly suicidal half the time but heck, even attempted suicide via cutie mark crusading is starting to sound good at this point!"

"...okay then. We're just looking to talk to Giggling-mess about-"

"Giggling...mess?"

"The owner of the house?" Sweetie Belle tried. What is Celestia's possessed mane was with this guy's name?

"Oh! You mean Gil!" Stated Dinky calmly, claiming back to her legs.

"Gil? Hey that sounds so much easier! That what we shoul-"

"NO! No no, don't do that! It won't end well, trust me."

"Right..." Sweetie Belle said slowly. "Okay, so, we heard that he was missing. Do you have any idea where to find him?"

Dinky paused at that. Thinking back to that morning she formulated an answer.

"Well, he and my mom said something about him going to Everfree for a walk, or for...uh...camping?" Heaven-forbid she actually said hunting. The girls would think her crazy or something. "He said he'd be out there for a couple of days."

The trio of crusaders exchanged looks of some thing that Dinky couldn't quite recognize. If she was to name it, she would have claimed it to be grim resignation.

"Why are you ponies looking for him anyway?"

"Dinky, can we ask you a question?" Sweetie Belle said soberly, coming forward.

"Uhh...sure?" She responded hesitantly, her classmate's tone a tad too serious that she was used to hearing.

"Do you remember what Gilgu-Girgi..." DAMMIT! "What Gil's cutie mark looks like?"

Instantly Dinky fell completely silent and still, taken by surprised by the nature of the question. With morbid fascination the Cutie Mark Crusaders watched as Dinky's face slowly morphed into a mask of shock and bewilderment. The pink uniform fell back on her hunches and focused on the floor beneath her feat, as if there was something there that she couldn't quite see.

"Y-you know..." She started obviously shaken. "Its really weird...I don't quite remember what it I was. I don't think that I ever thought to look."

The Cutie Mark Crusaders exchanged one last glance and a single powerful nod and this time Dinky could clearly recognize the sheer determination that was in those huge foal eyes. Dinky knew instantly then that they were about to do something very stupid.

PERFECT!

Her earlier plight back in mind, Dinky soared back to her hooves, shoving her face up to an inch away from Sweetie Belle's. The white unicorn froze like a deer in the magelight in the sheer, and not so slightly unhinged, resolve that colored Dinky's yellow orbs.

"Girls! Whatever you guys are looking for, I want in! You hear me! There is no bloody way in the nine Sumerian hells that I’m staying here and boring myself to death while you guys go to out and have a nice blood-curling nigh-suicidal adventure! I am the rightful owner of all the adventures in the world! I, DINKY DO! Got that?"

Sweetie nodded....slowly.

Scootaloo and Applebloom just exchanged a quick look and took a few imperceptible steps back.

"Dinky why don't you go ask you mom about Gil's cutie mark while we three do our thing here?" She inquired with a bright smile.

"What? Sure!" The pink unicorn exclaimed and shot off crazily towards the house's study. "Be right back!"

The three crusaders just stared and nodded as their classmate left the room. Wide smiles plastered in their face they presumed to wait.

"She's gone."

"Pinkie pie’s gone."

"Out the window?"

"Out the window."

About fifteen minutes later a youthful shout of pure terror and unhinged desperation shook the very foundations of the Gilgamesh house. It went something like this:

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

“Is the tea done yet?”

“Just a few moments more”

Gilgamesh glared balefully at the zebra's back hunched as she was over her cauldron.

“My patience is running thin, woman. By all the time and effort you’ve been putting into this, it better be the best tea I even tasted.”

“Oh it will.”

The golden king's eyebrow ticked and once more he let his eyes wonder of only to sate his soon to reach critical levels of boredom. The zebra's house was interesting enough, if not slightly plain. Gilgamesh felt that he should have been surprised when he saw that the creature's house was a tree but, for some inexplicable reason, the revelation had been rather...underwhelming. Heavens help him, he was starting to think that he was actually getting used to this crazy world.

Other than the...meh...tree thing, there was certainly other interesting artifact to gaze upon within the cramped all-purpose room that comprised of the witch-doctor's house. It wasn't that he actually mind the house's size or disposition. He was well aware that any hermit or sage worth his salt was bound to live under similar conditions. No, what bothered him is that he had allowed his glorious self to occupy this filthy rotting structure for a tad longer than he would have been comfortable with.

He turned his eyes back to the witch-doctor just as she leaned to add some strange root in the concoction she was making. Hmmm...He was getting soft. Whatever the zebra was making, it sure as his perfectly sculpted ass wasn't tea. Gilgamesh huffed.

So, artifacts. Yeah, there were plenty of interesting things to look at in the hut. Not valuable interesting. Not even artistic interesting. Just exotic. Not quite things he could have claimed to see before. That, in and of itself, was impressive to him.

He glanced back at the zebra. She turned and flashed him a smile. He grinned. She turned back to the cauldron and added some strange powder. Gilgamesh frowned.

Right...Magic. Yes, a strange sense of flowing mana pervaded many of the local items. Gilgamesh was no mage (yet), as he had proved that very morning, but he had seen enough magical objects to recognize them on sight. None of these were particularly powerful. Strange? Yes. Probably possessing of a large plethora of peculiar effects but in terms of sheer power? Nothing to add to his gate. As the various ingredients and magical potions around the room? Interesting...That's pretty much all he had to say. Only....interesting. He had no fleeting clue on what most of this stuff even were, let alone what they did. Well...he did have one thing to add about them. They made for some pretty colorful decorations. It was...nice....

Yeeeeep...nice...

Okay, enough is enough.

"Woma-"

“There done!”

Gilgamesh was just staring to turn around...

“By the gods! It’s about-!”

“Begone vengeful spirit from this plane! Once more return to whence you CAME!”

...When a big blue glowing blob of something impacted his face. For a moment silence reigned.

Gilgamesh stared.

Zecora stared back.

A glop of goo splotched to the floor.

“You have three seconds to explain.”

“Impossible! You should have been long gone from this world!

“Two.”

“But-but-but, this potion could even banish horrors of old!!”

“I’m starting to wonder if stupidity is genetic amongst you mongrels.” Gilgamesh growled, wiping his face with a nearby napkin even as the air being him begun to ripple gold.

“Don’t try to deny your identity, spirit!"

"Do I, really, look like a ghost to you?" This was the SECOND time in three days. Really, he should have been surprised, in an indignant rampaging rage even, but again, for SOME reason, he just wasn't.

"I have seen enough in my days to recognize your ways!”

Ah! There we go! There's that good old indignant rampaging rage!

"MONGREL WITCH!" Eyes flashing with enraged mana, Gilgamesh ROARED in some semblance of some eldritch horror of old. Zecora's eyes grew wide as saucers as the witch-doctor's trained eyes easily recognized the countless handles of what was artifacts of unfathomable magical power as emerged out of thin air behind the monstrous specter.

"This POWER! This is-!"

"I WILL LET THE WORMS FEED ON YOUR FLESH!" Amazingly the number of ethereal weapons behind the being more than doubled as Gilgamesh greedily gobbled every last dredge of scoured Equestrian mana in enraged abandon. "DDDDIIIIIIIII-"

The rather climatic scene met a rather disappointing (for one of the pair) interruption in the form of a rather meek knock against the huts door. Gilgamesh stared at the door. The he turned to the soon-to-be-dead mongrel bitch. Paused at the sound of a second knock, he turned to gaze at the door for a second time. Then back to the witch. Door again. Before finally his attention came to rest on the zebra.

"Answer it." He hissed. His tongue laced with venom.

Zecora fired him a questioning look.

"Do it." Frankly, Gilgamesh was half tempted to just skewer the door along with whoever was behind it, but the idea of wasted Equestrian mana lost merit when he brought his current state of existence in mind.

Zecora eyed him careful, slowly beginning to circle around the vengeful spirit to get to the door.

"Don't even attempt to run." He growled.

"I would not insult an old Hero as such..." She shot back steadily. Simultaneously, she not-quite turned her back to him just so to allow her to crack open the wicker door and address the visitor who just might have saved her life.

The effect was instantaneous. Gilgamesh's eyes narrowed into murderous slits and he muttered the most foul curse he could muster under his breath. His chance at punishing the insolent which stolen from him by those those three little words. Those three little words that held such unfathomable power against a being in his position. The gate and its treasure behind him vanished, as he drew the massive amount of almost expended mana back to his mortal shell. In a way, the conservation of his power was a favorable outcome. He had nearly wasted months’ worth of equestrian mana in that single attack of furry. Then again… his rage was left unsatisfied and would probably be for quite some time.

Both he and the witch knew that he couldn't risk killing her now. She probably believed it to be because she discovered his true identity and abated his anger, but in truth, it had simply proven to Gilgamesh that she had information potentially valuable enough for her to escape death indefinitely. Despite his claim of getting used to this new equine world, Gilgamesh wished for nothing more than to return back to proper form and place, both in body and in universe. If this...this mule knew anything that could relate to him and what he was, what she had to say was nearly...just nearly as valuable as all the king's treasury combines.

The witch appeared to notice the turbulent thoughts in his mind and turned to address his dilemma before it got out of hand. With calm even voice she informed him.

"We will speak of this later."

"Indeed we will...witch."

The cutie mark crusaders shivered as they stood before Zecora's shack. The trip through the woods had been surprisingly uneventful, all things considered. The three has stood steadfast in their choice to follow only the pre-plotted tracts through the forest, and they had, luckily, managed to avoided any unwanted encounters of the monstrous kind. As they stood before their destination, however, a peculiar primal fear gripping their bodies and minds stood there amongst the darkness of Everfree, beneath the fractured rays of the silver moon funneled through dense foliage above as they contemplated in irrational fear about knocking at that door a third time. For they all knew beyond a sliver of a doubt, that there was something in that shack, countless times worse than any monster that Everfree could spew.

Applebloom gulped, finally coming to a decision. She lifted a shaky hoof and let it hover over the wicker surface of Zecora's door for a fraction of a second. Drawing back her fore-leg, she-

Candle-light flooded the doorstep and all three fillies temporarily averted their darkness-adjusted eyes from the now burning light.

"Children?! What in the blazes are you doing here at THIS time of the night?" They all heard a bewildered voice claim. All at once, the trio relaxed. They knew that voice and they knew it well. It was Zecora, not some weird monster from the wood, but Zecora, nice, kind, SAFE Zecora.

"Zecora, we got lost." Applebloom muttered, looking up at the zebra with large teary puppy dog eyes. "We came to the forest to look for somethin' for crusadin' but by the time we got to the forest it was already too late to be moving around. Could we stay here for a little while? Pleeeease?"

Zecora sighed. She really only had two choices in the matter and leaving the fillies out in an Everfree night to fend for themselves wasn't really a choice in her books. She threw a mysterious look at something behind the door-way, which they couldn't quite see, but soon enough she stepped back and opened the door wide allowing them to enter.

"Of course children. Come in, enter. Braving this forest at night, is not at all very bright."

A symphony of 'Thank you Zecora' caressed her ears, and the three foals scampered hastily into the warmth of the hut.

"Foals? What are mere foals doing wondering the forests at night?"

All three fillies came to a sudden halt, a strange feeling of apprehension chilling up their spines. Fearfully, the trio turned around just as Zecora closed the door behind them, and their eyes beheld a being of captivating strangeness and horror-striking terror. For the young fillies then beheld Gilgamesh, furious and firm. Unreleased energy raged under his mortal skin and his eye blazed with unsatisfied hunger.

The three drew back, trembling, as they beheld upon this timeless miracle of magic given flesh and form at its most terrible and at the time, its most magnificent. The only saving grace they found within those fierce eyes was a sliver of protruding curiosity at the presence, a sliver that just barely managed to tamper his boiling anger.

"Fellow hunters perhaps?" He smiled, but his lips held no humor or camaraderie that they could see. His smile was a sinister smile, filled to the brim with thinly veiled honeyed malice. The filly's ears dropped as one, their forms lowering to the ground submissively, weighted as they were by this stallion's undeniable crashing presence.

"Gilgamesh! Enough!" Zecora's voice suddenly boomed breaking the untold spell. "Don't take your ire of me on these children. You are terrifying them."

Gilgamesh sniffed and looked away and as his piercing crimson gaze was lifted, so did the crushing presence that had addled their minds with inexplicable paralytic panic. Now unburdened, the trio rose to their full height looking around the hut as if what had just happened had been beyond the fledgling minds to grasp.

Scootaloo was just about to open her mouth to ask what had come to pass just moments ago when inquiry was thankfully interrupted by a bowl of warm, thick soup. One of the three of its kind that Zecora had just placed before Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and herself. A grumbling stomach chose to remind the filly right then, that she had been forced to skip dinner for this evening. Scootaloo shuddered. Her mom was going to kill her.

"Eat up, children. Your strength you will require and through my special vegetable soup both warm and sustenance you will acquire." Zecora pointed out, shoving one of the bowls gently towards Sweetie Belle.

Withe quick word of gratitude, the three wasted no time to dig in.

"Gilgamesh." Zecora suddenly exclaimed, turning to address the stallion with the golden coat. Scootaloo's head instantly shot up in abrupt realization. "Some of mine do you also desire? It should be most helpful to your ire."

"You aim to placate my anger with bribery of meager food? I thought you smarter, witch." The stallion sneered.

Applebloom bristled at that. Amongst the crusaders she was the closest to Zecora and she tended to take any slight against her as a personal blow to the face.

"Hey! Watch it mister! Zecora-"

Said zebra was already rushing to interfere but a curious Scootaloo more that beat her to the punch.

"So wait." She started, averting all attention in the hut on her. "YOU are Gilgamesh? As in the guy that owns that huge house by Sugarcube Corner?"

A smile then bloomed on the golden king's face. It was a smile of arrogance and self-indulgent pride. For the first time since they had met him, it was the first genuine smile that Gilgamesh ever presented them with.

"Ha ha ha! I see my reputation already precedes me! Of course it is only expected for one such as I! Still this form of open adoration from subjects is not thoroughly unwanted." He laughed heartily as the rest of the hut's inhabitants stared as him strangely. "Consider yourself lucky, girl! ("what's a girl?") I have developed a liking to you! State your name!" At this sight of joviality, all four of the huts inhabitants visibly relaxed, as if one last remaining clamp pressing against their chests had vanished.

"The name's Scotaloo!" The filly blurted with a smile! "I'm Rainbow Dash's number one fan! My friends are Sweetie Belle and Applebloom!" She stated, pointing at each one, then responding with a exuberant 'Nice to meet you Mister' and rather cautious 'howdy' in turn.

"Rainbow Dash's number one fan ha?" He muttered more to himself than anything. "No matter, that shall soon change. Tell me Scootalloo. What were you doing in these terrible woods at night unsupervised? Young ones like yourselves that do similar acts are often either very brave, very determined, or very foolish. Which one are you?"

"Uh...Eh he. All three probably." Applebloom responded.

"You see mister." Sweetie Belle added, carefully avoiding his name in fear of butchering it. "You see we are Cutie Mark Crusaders."

"Crusaders? But you neither bare cross or armor! What foolishness is this?"

The trio shared a mystified glance.

"A cross?" Scootaloo asked.

"Of course. that's what crusader means. Bearer of the cross."

"No mister, we dun' do anythin' like that. We just looking for our cutie marks is all!" Explained Applebloom.

"A cutie mark? Sounds deplorable. What is it?"

All three fillies gasped at the same time and even Gilgamesh boggled at how they had managed to perform this act of impeccable sychronism, the three had already launched into a mess of jumbled explanations and exclamations of shock. Try as he might, even Gilgamesh's magical hearing could only catch bits and pieces of the floor of words and sentences that followed.

"-the most important thing-"
"-ya see, you get this mark that-"
"-yer special talent-"
"-different for-"
"-we crusade-"
"-tried everything-"
"-aint never giving up!"

"That's quite enough." The King of Heroes interrupted, and the crusaders fell silent, looking up at him expectantly. There was something peculiar in his eyes, almost...nostalgic as his gaze fell on them. "You three are looking for your purpose in life. I understand, believe me. It is a noble cause and one i fully respect."

All three of the crusaders blinked. Nopony had ever quite expressed their cause quite so solemnly before.

"Do you really mean it?" Sweetie Belle asked with wide, shimmering eyes. Gilgamesh humped.

"You dare to doubt the words of I, Gilgamesh?" The foals almost drew away from him but before any had the chance, he flashed them with a most sincere smile. "You have my blessing in your quest and may what you want be worthy to your efforts."

The crusaders could offer no wider smile to the King of Heroes as they dutifully finished their meal. As he gazed down upon them, the immortal spirit of the hero-king Gilgamesh felt a warming memory of time long past in ages long gone that pressed against his heart with bittersweet nostalgia.

Smiling at the scene Zecora approached to collect the empty bowls of soup for from the foals, quickly carrying them to the wash basket.

"Gilgamesh." She said upon her return. "About time these fillies returned home I believe, my friend don't you also agree?" The zebra gave the King of Heroes a pointed stare, one he matched with a murderous but begrudgingly accepting gaze. Truthfully, that was the best that Zecora could hope for.

"What?" Shouted Applebloom.

"Are you crazy?" Expanded Scootaloo.

"There are monsters out there." Sweetie Belle finished.

"Shed you fear young ones for you see, someone powerful has agreed your safety to oversee."

"Someone powerful?"

"Who?"

"Do we know them?"

Gilgamesh humped disdainfully from the side line.

"You are ignorant but at your youth that's a forgivable offense, I Gilgamesh, King of Heroes, shall escort you back to Ponyville."

The fillies blinked.

"Are yeh sure that's safe?" Sounded the yellow earth-pony.

"Don't insult me!" Gilgamesh roared, sending the foal reeling against each other. At the sight of their huddled forms Gilgamesh drew a calming breath which he sniffed out impatiently. "There is no creature to be found in this forest which can match me. Let alone get through me to reach you. Better have tried." At the challenging flash of his eyes the crusaders were left with little choice but to agree.

Gilgamesh nodded. This was acceptable. Neigh, preferable. Fear of the overseer would temper any curious wondering the fillies might be prone to during their return trip. This was no different than how his teachers at the palace, forbidden from laying disciplinary hand on his divine disposition, had taught him, and it was as good as a method as any.

"Good. Now get up and wait for me outside. Don't wonder off." He said even as he stood held the door for them. "I still have some unfinished business to discuss with your...shaman."

The three fillies simply nodded and did as they were told, quickly filling out of the hut to the cool air of the surrounding forest. Gilgamesh waited until all of the foals had been herded outside before turning to balefully glare at the witch with a gaze that could melt mana-infused steel.

Zecora just gaze back at him evenly.

"Not now."

Gilgamesh nodded.

"In a few days I shall attend a social event in this country's capital. I am allowed an escort, a right I didn't plan to use. Escort or otherwise, Ditzy is my most trusted in this peculiar world, so her presence was already a given. You will escort me at the banquette. We will talk there in private and I hope the illusion of safety of that place will be enough to loosen your lips."

"Very well."

Gilgamesh turned to exit with no further words.

Zecora could only breathe a heavy sigh as he slammed the door behind him.

Silent and stealthy, the slim dragonic shadow of ebony scale and claw, slithered through the Everfree Forest under the cover of the night. It had taken the collective sum of nearly two weeks but he was finally here, in Equestria.The dragon Wormwing smiled a smile full of fang and poisonous spittle at the thought of his mission. Amongst the dragon clans of the Barbed Mountain, Wormwing had been famous for his ability to hunt stealthily and quietly, his targets felled to poisonous jaw and claw so quickly that they barely recognized his presence, whether they be prey or fellow brother of scale and fire.

Wormwing, Wormwing. The black dragon tested it and tested time and time against, enjoying the sound and meaning behind the name. Unlike his weak and relatively tame kin in Equestria, the dragons of molten country seldom ventured to drabble in the language and ways of prey, let alone names. Still it was necessary, he presumed. It was a weak disgusting prey name, yes, but weak stupid prey hadn't been able to pronounce his true name anyway even when they had come to him offering gold and gems. Oh yeeeeessssssssssss. He hiissssssed. His hoard would ever grow just like reputation.

His...'contracted' had they called it? Yesssssss! His contracted target were famous amongst prey. Even amongst some of the great dragonkind. Some of the Elders spoke their names in wonder and silent whispers of awe. Some even enviousssss, of their fame and power. For such a kill, the name of Wormwing would spread far and wide. From the tables of Equestria, to the molten lands of his kind.

And he was Wormwing. For he moved silent, he moved unseen, he slithered, he contorted, he poisoned, he ripped, he bit, he ate and he cremated. The perfect assassin. Unseen under black scale, unmatched in raw strength and brutality, so fast and flexible to worm his way through any obstacle and in any house and all who he killed were never. Seen. Again.

Equestria...

Ponyville...

The elements of harmony...

Wouldn't even see him coming.

After all, what pony would be insane enough to tread through these woods at night?

Under the cover of the night the small quartette of three fillies and a demigod were soon met with a rather unexpected obstacle. An obstacle that comprised of three very distinct and troubling individual problems. One, was that it was night. Two it was that what little moonlight there was could scarcely pass through the thick foliage above. Finally and most importantly, was the indisputable fact that saved for their resident demi-god in pony flesh, three of the four companions were in fact, young little fillies, not exactly optimized to work in sub-luminary conditions. As such, it was not long before their world dissolved into a mass of moving shadows and disembodied voices.

"Hey girls, there's something weird going down that slope, don't ya think?"

"Keep it down Applebloom, I think Gigashy's watching...." Growl. "...And listening apparently..."

"Dun' care Scoots, I'm telling there's something mighty weird heading down to Ponyville over yonder. "

"Will you guys be quiet , we're almost home. I've had it with this stupid forest! It’s gonna take me weeks to sort through my mane!"

"Yep, ah recon Sweetie Belle right here is right. Ah had enough of this place for one week!"

"A week? Really Applebloom?"

"Okay Scoots I won't lie to ya-a few days, jeez."

"That's more like it."

"Okay, that's it, girls ah'm being serious over here. There's something mighty creepy heading for our town. Ah can see its eyes shining in the dark."

"Where Applebloom?"

"Oh I see it too girls."

"Oh! There it is."

"...Uh oh, ah think it’s looking at us."

"Yeah, it definitely is."

"Now it’s rearing back its head."

"Hey! It’s head is glowing."

"GET BACK YOU FOOLS!"

The forest exploded in fire and ash. The mighty torrent of flame flew along the forest floor devouring tree and life alike as flames hot as volcanic magma ravaged an unfortunate acre of woodland. Against the overwhelming might of this cheering conflagration no mortal substance could stand. Even as the flames danced on through their relentless path of destruction, limber wood dried and combusted as even damp soil and ancient solid rock melted together into black bashing tar.

Wormwing screeched in furious ecstasy as he watched his fire, unrivaled in his flock, consumed undeterred a part of a legendary mystical forest. Inside him indignant anger and restated pride danced in tandem. It was almost unthinkable. He had been spotted as he prowled. At the same time it was glorious. For he could claim that none who laid eyes on him lived to tell the tale.

The obsidian titan's minimalistic gloat was promptly interrupted when from amidst this unflappable inferno and an aurora of gold exploded outwards, sweeping through the surrounding flames even as they broken upon its golden radiance like waves upon a mountain. The magic light's power was was undeniable, overtaking fire and brimstone even as they melted and fused the forest floor below. In a matter of seconds Wormwing's burning breath finally expended its self and in tandem the brilliant golden corona dissolved into motes brilliant of magic lights.

Amongst the glimmering shards of fading magics, stood a trio of utterly befuddled fillies and a most madly grinning King of Heroes. Their bodies lay huddled behind a shield of divine disposition! So beautiful and exquisite was it, that Wormtale sworn that such an artifact if power looked entirely out of place at anywhere but in the most timeless dragon's hoard. Before his eyes the ethereal instrument of protection dissolved to the ether it once came, silently depositing itself back to the infinite space of non-space that was the king's treasury. This was the power Gilgamesh's most notorious noble phantasm, the Gate of Babylon.

Faced with this impossible sight Wormwing was left to gape.

A small long forgotten part of the behemoth's minds stirred right then. Shoved somewhere behind over-bloated ego and murderous aggression, this small fragment of consciousness widely referred to as self-preservation had no choice but to wonder.

Just what had he just gotten himself into?

As he stood gazing back at the comical and quite positively poleaxed expression of the obsidian drake, Gilgamesh couldn't help but feel a smidgeon of excitement bubbling in his tiny pony chest! He hand just been bathed in fire by a winged fire-breathing lizard! A dragon! An honest to the gods dragon! What are the odds right? The uproarious gaffs of laughter that followed just left the beast staring at him in a stunned stupor.

"To think that something like you would a exist in this world!" Gilgamesh exclaimed in exuberant glee. Honestly, it was like some divine dignitary was attempting to buy Gigamesh's affections with a rare gift! Ah heavens, how you please your king. "And here I feared that this bland land of mild-mannered mongrels would bore me!" He cheered.

This had been one daaaaaamn good hunting expedition, he decided. How many of his weapons would it take before the monster was reduced to a scaly pincushion? No too many he hoped. Gilgamesh loathed to riddle his new leathery rug with TOO many holes. So unrefined! What would the visitors think?

"Uhhh...Did something just happen?" Sweetie Belle asked carefully. Gilgamesh spun, for the first time since the black behemoth's attack, and actually acknowledging the presence of the three foals by his site. The hero king hummed. It appeared that the brutal and sudden nature of the monster's attack had actually caused the three fillies to miss it entirely.

Pfft, rookies.

"What in tarnation?" Appleblood exclaimed FINALLY coming to the realization that the forest around them had been reduced to a smoldering wreck. "Happened to the gosh darn forest? What'd you do this for?" The yellow orange pony hotly protested, turning to Gilgamesh. Judging by her tone, the sight of so many trees vanishing in an instant had struck some sort personal chord in the apple farmer.

Thankfully Scootaloo, being apparently the sliiiightly more helpful member of squadron obvious, had something a tad more meaningful to add.

"Hey!" She exclaimed, looking up and about. "I can see!"

Hey! It was a valid point.

Apparently as some positive side-effect of the dragon's criminal act of flash deforestation, the diffuse light of the moon had finally managed to break through the forest's normally impossible tree-line and illuminate the surrounding area. This of course led to THIS brilliant profound remark.

"Oh my Celestia! Look! A DRAGON!" Cue childish screaming. Gilgamesh had no reservations against groaning loudly.

"What was that modern expression again? Thank you, Overlord Obvious?" The king deadpanned. This apparently was enough to draw three of just the cwutiest wittle pouty death-glares at his general direction. Gilgamesh snorted.

"Well excuuuuuse me princess prissy-pants! We don't exactly see one of these on a daily basis!" Scootalo protested.

Sweetie Belle was kind enough to cough.

"...Other than Spike." Scootaloo added. Sweetie Belle pouted at the pegassus' glare. "...And SPIKE doesn't have a compelling desire to maul and eat us."

Cough, cough, ahem.

"...well...Usually." Pause. "...And by the way, how are you doing that."

Gilgamesh sniffed, somehow having shoved a hoof through thin air.

"That's KING Prissy-pants to you, peasant." He decreed before all but smashing three tiny ornate helmets right on their tender little pony heads. Responses were mixed.

"Owie!" Came the Apple-Bell stereo system.

"Coooooool!" I'll let you guess who that was.

"Stay behind me and do as I say! I'll let you get roasted if you don't! Is that clear?" He made a point to ignore the resounding 'yes Mister Gilgamesh' complete with widely rolling eyeballs, instead moving to stand before them. "I think it’s finally coming to its senses." He stated, as a matter of fact, eying the monster about a football field away in the distance.

True enough, the dragon finally seemed to come to its senses, shaking its boulder sized head side to side and lowering its mountainous self to growl at their general direction. If the way it was snarling and snapping at them was any indication, Gilgamesh's previous act of flippant defiance had thoroughly managed to piss it off.

Yes, the golden pony smirked; he tended to have this effect on lesser creatures.

Which by that he meant pretty much everything.

The dragen roared, its booming voice shaking the surounding forest to its foundation from his position a few dozen meters away, Gilgamesh could already see fire building up in its throat. Its momentus maw spread open, sending forth an onslaught of writhing fire at the small group. The hero king wasted no time in retaliating and the air before him rippled with magic. From the rips in the fabric of space four bejeweled weapons surged forth.

Three silver axes spun straight at the conflagration and Gilgamesh watched with indulgent self-satisfaction as they swept away the hungry flames in their path. In the distance, he could see the over-grown lizard's eyes bulge as it witness the impossible sight. Gilgamesh couldn't blame the poor wretch. Had the axes been anything but the unrivalled magical artifacts that they were, the feat would have been all but impossible. As things were, the dragon's long serpentine torso started to writhe and contort, desperately trying to maneuver its MASSIVE bulk out of the way of those comparatively tiny yet deceptively powerful weapons.

Gilgamesh watched on with glee as, true to form, the vanguard of spinning axes just barely scrapped the dragon's scales. The feat would have been infinitely more impressive, Gilgamesh reflected, if he had actually meant for his original barrage to hit. No, what would have been really impressive was if the lizard had actually managed to dodge the nearly two stories long titanic spear that was flying behind them. As things were, it failed horribly.

The large weapon dug itself in the monster's abdomen, all but imbedding itself nearly in its entire prodigious length through the drake's meat and leather. It howled in raw agony, the anti-dragonic properties of Gilgamesh’s hand-picked spear rending its flesh asunder even as frantic claws clenched around it. From the distance, the king and fillies looked on with anticipated contentment and horrified amazement, respectively.

"Woah. Coooool." He heard Scootaloo breath out from the sidelines. Gilgamesh grinned. Rainbow Dash's number one fan? As he said earlier, that was soon to change.

Mad in its suffering and anger, spear still imbedded in its stomach, the dragon surged forward, its gigantic claws tearing swaths of burned earth even as it charged in reckless abandon towards the group. Behind him, Gilgamesh could more hear the three fillies shouting in alarm while desperately trying to backpedal away from the six-story tall mountain of rippling muscle that was charging at their way at a speed of more than 300 kilometers per hour. The hero king? No so much.

"Interesting! GATE OF BABYLON!" The Hero of Heroes roared.

Just as the monster thundered a paw drop away from the appropriate distance for lethal bite, what could only be described a wall of pikes materialized around the pony group, sprung it seemed from within the very earth itself. The dragon crumbled against their unyielding lengths like paper plane against the blades of a paper-shredder. The dragon screamed pure suffering for the second time that night, drawing its bulk up and away as it flinched up to its hind-legs at the pain. At the sight of the veritable forest of gold and steel imbedded across the monster's chest and claws, Gilgamesh could only wonder if hadn't gone just a tad bit too far. Again, there was no reason to maul his future carpet.

Gilgamesh’s hoof shot out, flashing and out of ripple of magic for a second time. As he withdrew it, the young fillies behind him saw a length of chain wrapped tightly along his right foreleg.

"Enkidu!" The hero king comanded whipping the encased appendage at the monster looming above. As if in a mind of its own, the chain rocketed skywards in an unnatural angle. In span and angled and snaked through air before wrapping ten-fold around the dragon's exposed neck.

In accordance to this new development, Gilgamesh reached out to grab the conceptual steel with both hooves and with all the might he could muster he heaved to the side, growling in strain all the while. It was undeniable that the colossal monster ahead of him would have normally been far too strong and heavy for even the King of Heroes to move but unsteady and blinded by agony as it was, even the King of Heroes comparatively meager strength was more than enough snatch the behemoth's body from the air by the neck and slam its head savagely in the ground.

Met with the monster's inane mass in conjunction with Gilgamesh's own supernatural strength, the torched ground below the pair all but exploded sending ash and debris flying in all directions even as the shock-wave swept through the forest floor for kilometers all around. Huddled as they were together just a few meters behind this momentous event, Scootaloo, Appleblood and Sweetie Belle dove for cover even as countless pieces of jagged rock thumped mercilessly against their newly acquired helmets.

"Girls!" Applebloom shouted frantically. "Is this REALLY happening?" The baffled shrugs she received as a response weren't very heartening.

By then the dragon, apparently having decided that he had had enough of playing fair for a day, spread its wings wide across his back even as the Gilgamesh swore savagely and dove for cover. The obsidian titan's monstrous wings flapped violently through the air, their monstrous wingspan sending a wave earth-shattering air-pressure to wash across the forest countless meters in radius. Dispelling Enkidu lest he be dragged to the air by the monster's unrivaled upward thrust, the King of Heroes just managed to call forth a wall of shields from the gate to shield both him and his companions from horrifying air-currents the drake’s very ascent seemed to produce.

The hero king knew then that he had to act quickly. Even within the split second it had taken for him to leap away and call forth his protective barricade of steel, the black lizard had somehow managed to climb over two hundred meters in the sky. Hastily he recalled what little mana he could by dispelling the spears already imbedded in the dragon and opened up the gate as wide as mana cost allowed. A wallpaper of rippling magic expanded behind him and dozens upon dozens of mythical artifact fired at the ascending dragon as fast as his reserves would allow.

The mad barrage slammed on the beast. Many of the weapons once more imbedded in its flesh even as a few of the less poorly aimed armaments flew dangerously close to its scaly head, all this had accomplished however was redouble the dragon's desperate attempts at gaining altitude. Until finally the monster reached a point where Gilgamesh's weapons, weak in their deprivation of mana and fighting directly against the primal deterrents of distance and gravity, failed to pierce the behemoth's armored hide. The King of Heroes could only watch in helpless grim fascination as the raw power of his weapons failed him for the first time he could remember.

Only the thin veil of a language barrier spared the nearby foals' ears as Gilgamesh sprouted the most violent ancient Sumerian curses he could think of.

The dragon turned tail and started flying towards the distance at speeds that left even the demi-god turned pony amazed. He was not fooled however by this new development. Gilgamesh was intimately aware of what would be the end result of an almighty flying Juggernaut gaining enough altitude and space to manouvre freely.

"Yay! Look girls! Its leaving!" Sweetie Belle cheered sitting up to point at the distant dot in the sky that was now the obsidian dragon.

A distant dot that was by then rapidly getting bigger.

"GET DOWN!"

For the second time that night, the forest around the group was decimated under a blanket of flame hot enough to rival the power of the sun. Stone and bedrock exploded violently as the sheer heat of the blazing inferno ignited countless unseen pockets of air beneath the surface. What ground little remained unturned was instantly reduced to molten slag and burning magma. It would be almost unreal for an outside observer to believe that the appearance of resulting area could be likened to anything but the mouth of an active volcano.

Surreal as it was believe it, however, even amongst the burning rock and noxious gasses something had actually managed to remain standing. Namely? A golden orb of magic the glimmered before and around an ornate golden shield, protecting a host of four inside it from the smoldering blazes that surrounded them. Although he never admit it, Gilgamesh send a silent thanks to the Nordic Pantheon of gods for forging Svalinn, the shield which stands before the sun and protects earth from burning. Had Gilgamesh found himself without this particular artifact, this particular hunting party would have found itself three followers short even from the very beginning of this confrontation.

The time of prayers was long past, however, Gilgamesh contemplated as he drew yet another object from within the gate, this time an ornate short sword. Pouring in some of his already waning mana, the King of Heroes recalled the shield the very instant he swung this new weapon. Just as it had against his dead Saber upon their faithful meeting by the bridge of Fuyuki City at the time of the Fifth Holy Grail War, the short sword unleashed magical arctic winds upon its arc through the air. The frost was thankfully quick in cooling the sweltering heat of the area into something more manageable.

Wasting no time, lest the dragon returned for yet another devastating strife-run through the fully exposed and now burning clearing, he turned around bolted towards the tree-line, shouting warnings towards his three accompanying fillies even as he retreated at breakneck speeds.

"Quick! Follow me!" He had commanded. "Stay close!"

Unfortunate for the hero king, his commands fell in deaf, shell-shocked ears.

"We-We're still alive?!" Exclaimed a befuddled Scootaloo as she took cover against the ground.

"But how?" A flabbergasted Applebloom next to her thought to add.

Once more the hero of heroes cursed his oversight. Later when he thought back to this instant, Gilgamesh would reflect on how easy it was for an experienced general and warrior, in this particular situation, to forget that the small scared children hiding behind him fell more than a little short on being the hardened soldiers and heroes he was used to working with.

"Ignorant foals! You dare disrespect my commands?" He roared, his hooves cutting shallow grooves on the torched earth as he skid and changed his course back to the trio that sat in center of the clearing, still in the process of registering just what was going on.

Even as he tore through the space between them, he could already spot the distant outline of the obsidian dragon amongst the stars of the night sky as the swerved around in preparation of yet another devastating run through their position. One that Gilgamesh was doubting in his ability to protect his companions from.

The hero king skid to an anxious stop amongst the fillies and knowing that time was short, decided to forgo any form of formalities. As they gazed up at him with questioning eyes, his head bobbed down at the filly closest to him. With his teeth he garbed Scootaloo by the skin of her neck and quickly tossed her tiny body over his shoulders and onto his back. None of the three children was even given the time to protest before Gilgamesh was already surging towards the tree-line with the little orange Pegasus riding on his back. The King of Heroes made a mental note to later think of a fitting punishment for this new indignity that the trio of crusades had just imposed upon him. 'Being left to be roasted alive' just seemed as a tad too extreme a disciplinary measure for his tastes at the moment.

"Scootaloo!" Sounded Sweetie Belle and Applebloom in alarm.

"Follow me I say!" He shouted once more. This time, moved by instinctive concern for their friend and last of their members, the pair of the crusaders were acceptably quick to comply, both in voice and body. Unfortunately for the golden-coated pony, the pegasus filly on his back wasn't without vocal complaints either.

"He-Hey! Hey! Put me down!" She shouted, desperately trying to hang on the buckling back of the much larger pony.

"Silence, you insolent child!" Gilgamesh roared in response. "Who the hell gave you permission to get yourself killed?"

With a mighty leap of his powerful legs, the hero and the child he carried finally dived amongst the cover of the trees. Gilgamesh was not quick to temper his gallop however, if anything Scootaloo would have remarked that he was actually getting faster and more violent in his movements as he started weaving and bobbing around tree and bush alike.

"Neither Charon or the Fates themselves managed to claim one of my subjects during a hunt while I lived. Not while I led it! And by the legend that is I, I will not let it happen now!" He state with unshakable resolve. Behind him he heard the voices of the remaining two crusaders, they too following his mad rush into and through the trees of Everfree.

"Mister Gil!"

"Gil, wait!"

"Finally! I was beginning to think that the beast devoured you sluggish fools!" He shouted back, not letting up the slightest. In the distance he could hear the dragon roaring in anger as his target vanished from his sights and Gilgamesh grinned in victory.

"You're going too fast!" Bemoaned the unicorn child.

"We can't keep up!" Applebloom panted.

In response to their ails, Gilgamesh laughed heartily. An action quick to draw their frantic contempt.

"Haha! Good, good! Relish the sensation!" He cheered. "Let me be the first to introduce you to world of a hunter! The blood rushing through your head and dancing to the intoxicating symphony of an incenced heart and a ranging spirit! Surely no other high in this world can match it! Don't dare fall behind or I will not grand you any claim of the spoils."

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle had been so busy just GAPING at the hero king right then, that they almost allowed for themselves to be planted face-first into a tree. Each.

"Are you insane?" Scootaloo had apparently been tad faster in recovering her wits in comparison. "There's a dragon after us! Do you even know what you're doing?"

"You dare doubt your king, peasant?" He snarled in return. "Observe! The forest's thick foliage conceals our presence! The beast has lost sight of us. In its weakened state it will not dare waste its strength by firing at us blindly. We possess the element of surprise!"

"Can't you *pant* just shoot the the dang thing with your *pant*, magic sword-thingy, and be done with it?" It seemed Sweetie was the next to reclaim her abilities at vocalization.

"Regrettable as it is, the beast's altitude and speed are too great. A reckless frontal assault would just be a waste of valuable mana!" Gilgamesh sought to explain. "Besides! A filthy monster like that does not deserve to face the full might of my treasures! Ha! It would be an utter waste! No! I will kill this dumb beast the way dumb beasts should be killed! I will take the appropriate pleasure in ripping off its head while it lays helpless within my trap!"

"Trap? You mean you have a plan?" The amount of surprise found in Scootaloo's voice was simply insulting.

"How deplorable! Of course I do! I am Gilgamesh!"

"Okay then *pant* mister fancy-pants! What *pant* do we do?" Demanded Applebloom.

"Don't presume to grasp the king’s plan child! All you will manage is give yourself a headache!" His response didn't seem to help.

"Okay! *pant* That is *pant* it! Yer really *pant* starting to tick me off!"

"How are we supposed to help then?" Scootaloo quickly interjected.

"You're not! All I need from you is to bait the beast to the appropriate location!"

"Wait, what?"

"We should be in position by now!"

Gathering prana in his forelegs, Gilgamesh swiftly reached to his back.

Wormwing soared above the forest, his enraged and bloodthirsty eyes scanning it thoroughly for his vanished his prey.

They would not escape him. By the ancients they would not.

This indignity, this pain! They would pay for it a THOUSAND FOLD!

He vowed to make the gold pony mage, watch helplessly as his hatchlings vanished amongst Wormwing's fire!

Then Wormwing would catch him! Break him! Leave him to die in agony with the dragon's poison coursing through his veins.

There! Something flying in the distance!

Of course! The mage-prey had a pegasus among their brood!

Wait...

Why was it screaming?

Well whatever!

Wormwing roared in challenge and just like that dove after the receding form of said pegasus.

"WHAT IN TARNATION DID YOU JUST DO?"

"Ingeniously set our pursuer on course to its own demise! I see that you are speechless in witness of my genius!"

"You threw her a thousand feet in the air!"

"Check your tone! She will be fine! Your friend is a pegasus! A monstrous phantasmal beast, ages known to be nigh unbeatable in the skies! Surely she will out pace the dragonic monster and fly herself to a safe landing!"

"No! No she won't! Scootaloo can't fly!"

"What? Are you telling me her wings are for show?"

"YES! She's practically a four legged, pony-shaped chicken!"

"APPLEBLOOM!" Cue scandalized Sweetie Belle.

"WHAT?!"

Pause.

"Oh! Uhhh, Ah-ah mean-"

"HA! Interesting! I find the way you insult and demean your friend amusing! I'm sure your friend's reaction will be doubly so! Perhaps there's hope for you yet!"

"He-Hey now! Make sure you don't tell Scootaloo ah said all that, you hear?"

"Very well, I'll make sure to."

"Mean say it or not say it?"

Gilgamesh grinned.

"....I hate you so much."

“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

KA-SPLASH!

For what Scootaloo would soon come to describe as the single most traumatic moment in her adolescent life (thus far), her world dissolved in a flurry of water, mud and panic. She had no idea where she was, what she was doing or what was happening. Her insane uncontrolled flight over Everfree and the dizzying velocities involved had been more than thorough in robbing her of any sense of direction or coordination. Even the internal magical compass that all pegasi seemed to possess and where more than happy to flaunt, did nothing but spin in helpless circles within her head.

Indeed, all that the tiny filly could comprehend at the moment was that her body was attempting to struggle against some all-encompassing body of water and failing horribly at that. She could already feel the disgusting fluid seeping down her flapping mouth and widening nostrils, slowly creeping down her throat to reach and occlude her lungs. She panicked then, redoubling her efforts to the point where even her wings begun to flap widely against her watery prison.

Luckily, it was this course of action that had ultimately saved her.

With a loud desperate gasp her head broke through the swamp's surface, aided, as it was, in its emergence by her rapidly buzzing wings. Finally in possession of some sort of spatial awareness, the filly lunged forward through the water, digging her fore-hooves in the nearby riverbank with recess abandoned. She barely managed to half-drag her body out of the water when her meager strength finally failed her.

For a few moments she just lay there, coughing savagely and taking desperate gulps of value oxygen in turn. Celestia, Scoot's had done some pretty crazy and stupid things in her life, especially during her pursuit of a cutie mark. In truth Dinky hadn't been all that far off in her comment of ‘attempted suicide’ just earlier that day. But THIS. THIS had to take the cake as being the stupidest, most inane thing that Scootaloo even had the honor of being part of. Worse yet, IT WASN'T EVEN HER FAULT!

Scootaloo quietly resolved to ask Rainbow Dash to kick Gilgamesh's flank next time she saw her.

A deafening dragonic roar drew her attention above.

Screw it, Scootaloo decided, she'd kill him herself.

The multi-ton monster that was the black dragon slammed into the swampland like a bolt of lightning. Amazingly, each and every one of its massive paws somehow managed to find itself on a little island of solid earth amongst the multitude of sinkholes that littered the entire area.

Thoroughly exhausted and somewhere between half-dead, Scootaloo could only watch helplessly as the dragon slowly lowered its maw, complete with rows upon rows of razor-sharp teeth right on her little motionless form. She could only watch with increasing apprehension and terror as inch by inch those very jaws descended gashing gleefully all the way. Scootaloo sighed.

Screw this.

"Just get this over with, will ya?"

For one hilarious moment, Scootaloo watched as the dragon actually drew back in surprise at her remark. Looking at her with wide eyes, he frowned before finally turning away and snorting disdainfully. Yeah, yeah, no love for the dramatic arts here, you overgrown lizard, Scootaloo thought bitterly. It was almost a shame when the monster seemed to accept her suggestion and started drawing back it head in preparation for a lightning-fast bite.

Scootaloo closed her eyes just as the the dragon's head snapped forth.

"GATE OF BABYLON!"

What appeared as thousands of stars in Scootaloo's eyes fell from the heavens. The dragon had a split second to boggle at the sight before the countless streaks of light fell upon its wings; the sheer force of their impact sent its body careening to the ground. Scootaloo watch with fascination as the dragon roared in agony, its wings now shredded beyond all belief by the dozens of golden blades still embedded in their leathery folds. Even stumbling, the dragon somehow managed to retain its footing on what little dry land existed on the swamp.

"ENKIDU!"

The chains of heaven flashed in the corner of Scootaloo's eyes and before she could comprehend it, her body was flying through the air encased in divine steel.

"Grab her!" She heard Gilgamesh's voice command from the distance.

Her trip through the air suddenly came to a sudden stop as Scootaloo found herself colliding within the waiting forelegs of her fellow crusaders. even braced as they were, Scootaloo's weight and velocity send the trio tumbling through the ground, finally to come to a stop against a tree.

"Scootaloo!"

"Yer okay!"

She heard her friends exclaim but the orange pegasus in question found herself unable to reply as a crimson sun suddenly exploded behind them. For a split second of absolute terror, the trio through that the dragon was once against attempting to incinerate them with its hellish fiery breath. A quick look up however proved the contrary however.

Yet what they witnessed was no less surprising.

With his back turned to them Gilgamesh was standing at the edge of the marshlands, gazing down at the writhing dragon with what could only considered as pure murder. What was surprising, however, was the crimson star that had bloomed on the hero king's forehead, specifically his horn.

The three fillies could feel the electrifying touch of his magic, electrifying and overwhelming as it was, even from their position a dozen meters away. This sheer level of magical power...It wretched their mind back to a certain librarian mare they all had come to know very well.

"I may be no mage!" Gilgamesh roared lowering his horn at the now panicking obsidian monster. "But I am the one true king of this world! I have slain gods and demons! Stood above heroes and laughed in the face of death himself! Monster or not! Demon or not! No! Even if you were a god! You WILL BOW TO MY POWER!"

The light of his horn exploded, redoubling in both side and power. Pure undiluted mana washed through the marshland. Overloaded by the sheer amount and savagery of his magic, the very earth tore and sundered. Just like the mage-ball had that very morning when Gilgamesh had attempted to learn the arts of levitation, the very soil collapsed into the earth below with a burst of magic.

For his part the dragon could only watch in horror as the ground under its feet gave way. It desperately tried to flap its wings but torn and riddled as they were with steel there both too heavy and damaged to be of any use. Helpless the dragon's body fell into the newly formed crater of mud and water as the earths and swamps that surrounded him coalesced under the destructive might of the golden unicorn, trapping his claws and body within layer upon layer of dump soil and murky water.

Within a few seconds Wormwing came to the horrifying realization that his limbs and serpentine body had been left completely trapped, submerged as it was, with the newly-created mega-swamp. The dragon's head, still free, snapped upwards at the sound of Gilgamesh's malignant laughter.

"Good! You won't be going anywhere like that!" A vertical wall of magic weapon sprung into existence behind the King of Heroes as he spread open the gates of Babylon to their fullest. His crimson eyes watched with glee as the dragon's own slit eyes turned wide as saucers. "Now shut up and be a nice pincushion for your king! YOU MONGREL!"

"NO! STOP!" The dragon suddenly shouted in his raw desperation. So unexpected were the dragon's words that the king actually drew short.

"It talks!" Exclaimed Gilgamesh in surprise, taken in chock by this new unexpected development.

"Spare me!" Pleaded the dragon. "I'll tell you everything! Just-"

"I see, so the dragons of this world possess the power of speech!" Interrupted the hero king, gazing down at the dragon with mad glee.

"YES! I-"

"Since you possess the ability of speech to this degree THEN WHEN YOU GET TO THE UNDERWORLD GO AHEAD AND TELL EVERYONE THERE OF WHO SEND YOU! YOU MONGREL DOG!" ROARED Gilgamesh and along with him so roared the Gate of Babylon as spread his forelegs wide.

The rapid staccato of explosions finally came to a stop.

It was only then that Applebloom felt safe enough to actually open her eyes.

"Girls, you okay?" She asked softly, turning a critical eye to the pair of crusaders next to her. The pair simply nodded obviously exhausted by the sum total of the days' events.

"Yeah." Responded Scootaloo, sounding more drained that she had ever heard her. "I'm completely pooped though." Even before she finished that sentence the friends were there hugging her tightly.

"Thank Celestia we managed to get here in time." Unshed tears welled up in Sweetie Belle's eyes.

"Yeah, me and Gil are gonna have to talk about that." Scootaloo scowled, prompting her friends to release her.

"So....Is it over?" Asked the earth filly, drawing away.

Across her she heard Sweetie gasp.

"Girls look! The helmets Gil gave us!" She pointed out and Applebloom felt her eyes widen in realization. "They're not there anymore!"

"Hey! Yer right!" The farm girl exclaimed. "Where'd they go? Those things didn't fall off even when we were gallopin' through the woods. Hay, Scootaloo had hers even when we found her!"

A strange fear suddenly clenched Applebloom's heart and by the looks on their faces her fellow crusaders shared her concern.

"Girls..." Applebloom started. "Where's Gilgamesh?"

"I don't know. I had my eyes closed!" Shouted Sweetie Belle defensively.

"Me too!"

"Me three!"

The three foals shared an anxious look.

A second later they were bolting through the trees and towards the beginning of the swamp, where they had last seen their resident demi-god.

As they skirted to a stop just at the edge of the forest, just on a small hill overlooking the area, a small part warned them to avoid actually looking at what remained at the swamp. The realization that something had just died a horrible death just a few moments earlier right there hit the trio like a sac of bricks. For a second they were afraid that they would bare witness to the brutally mauled...remains of the dragon that had, admittedly, tried to kill them just a few minutes earlier.

Thankfully, they had been spared of the sight. It appeared that by the time Gil had finished bombarding monster with his magical blades, the entire area had been laid to waste. All that remained was mountains upon mountains of upturned rubble and the occasion pool of swamp water. There was no sight of the dragon himself. Probably swallowed in one of those piles of soil and stone, Applebloom grimly realized.

The farm-pony gulped.

"Girls! I found him!" That had been Sweetie Belle!

"Where?"

"Over there!" She said, pointing a small hill somewhere to the right.

"Yeah! Ah see him!" Applebloom cheered. But...wait. Her cheers instantly died down. "Girls! Come on!" By the way her friend dashed next to her the earth pony understood that they had noticed it too. Gilgamesh was there, yes. But his body was sprawled across the ground...completely still. Far too still for Applebloom's tastes infarct.

All three of the fillies came to a stop around the body of the King of Heroes and Applebloom heard friends gasp along with her.

"He ain't movin!" She shouted in horror.

"Girls! Look!" Both Applebloom and Scotaloo turned to look at where Sweetie Belle was pointing. The farm pony felt her heart stop at what she saw.

"His legs..." She started numbly.

"They're...they're vanishing!"

True enough, Gilgamesh's hind hooves were slowly but surely growing transparent even as they watched! As see-through as crystal! Thankfully, Applebloom noticed, whatever it was that was happening it was starting to slow down.

"Girls, what do we do? We can't just leave him here!" Sounded Scootaloo, for the first time that night truly afraid.

"The hospital?"

"Way too far!"

"Well." Applebloom contemplated. "Fluttershy's hut couldn't be very far from here...i recon..."

Scootaloo looked at her as if she had just lost her mind.

"You wanna bring HIM to FLUTTERSHY'S house!"

She DID have a point.

But...

"We ain’t got no choice..."

Author's Note

NEVER AGAIN!

Heavens above! This chapter was TORTURE! Writing 15,000 words in two days = Not fun! Not fun at all!

I hope you guy's will accept this chapter's size as an apology for its delay because I sure as hell won't be writing one as big as this for a while!

Anyway, stick with us as next chapter is obligatory flutter-chapter! What will the arrogant and egoistical KING OF HEROES think of meek little Fluttershy?

...Yeah, this won't end well.

NOTE!: For all my few readers out there! I have added a Update updater on my profile so you can check it out in the off chance you find yourselves wondering "Just what the hell is Darkside doing with the next chapter?".

Darkside out.

Chapter proofread by CrossoverManiac. He is by all means awesome.

The epic begins

Hey guys, what’s up? Keeping things brief, I’m new around here and I decided to give this fim fiction thing a try. I can’t say that this is the first story I’ve ever written but it’s indeed the first of its nature I ever attempted to publish online.

Anyway, Gilgamesh is in Equestria. Not something you see around here a lot is it? Well, I hope to do it justice. The Gilgamesh you see here comes from the Unlimited Blade Works route of F/SN. I haven’t really played the VN (Can’t find it, if any one of you guys knows a place where I can get it, please tell me). So some small details may be a bit off.

Before we start though, warning to you all: I might not update very much, being a med student and all.

Well, enjoy.

Before that however: My greatest thanks to my proofreader CrossoverManiac for sorting out my inevitable grammatical messes in this chapter. You’re a real pal man.

Fate/Misplaced

Chapter 1: The epic begins

The first thought that descended upon the unrivalled King of Heroes, Gilgamesh, timeless lord of Uruk, at the moment of his awakening from dreamless slumber, was a simple realization. The realization, that even his headaches were fit for a king, which surprisingly, unlike most of his similarly kingly attributes, was not something he felt entirely happy to brag about at the time.

Lets see, splitting headache as a result of a corrupted phantasmal artifact of unfathomable power slicing your arm cut off, stabbing you in the head, tearing your physical body apart, and, finally, casting your soul into the deep, dark, and foul depths to be use as a support column for its physical manifestation.

...Meh, could have been worse.

Even one such as he, Gilgamesh, King of Heroes, could only be considered as lucky to have survived the experience….if he was currently alive that is. Was he? He thought he was. Too much pain to be dead. Regardless, for those few moments in his recent past, even he had given up ever laying eyes upon the mortal world again. Not that he would ever admit it out loud that is, at least not without beheading his audience afterwards. Presently however, all that he found himself dearly wanting to behead was his rapidly escalating migraine.

The blinding glare of the sun upon his eyes wasn’t helping any either. Traitorous star! Gilgamesh made a hasty mental note to punish the sun for its insolence as soon as he got back enough strength to form a complete thought in his head. The moment Gilgamesh regained his ability to call upon his endless armory of timeless magical artifacts, the sun would taste the power of his ultimate treasure, Ea! Ha! Glare on that sun! In your face! Wait…

The god king groaned. One could fully understand the full extent of his exhaustion and injuries when he started mentally threatening insentient forces of nature in a mad delirium. Besides, the sun was a bit far for the current diminished state of his prana reserves…probably, especially as he could feel no connection with a master at the moment. It was not surprising, considering he killed his past master with his bare hands in hopes of using him as raw materials for the materialization of the Holy Grail on the physical plane. The very grail that proceeded to gobble the god king up the moment it found itself unstable enough to need a snack to put itself back together…Gods be damned, Gilgamesh hated irony, well, when it was directed at him at least.

Hatred at the circumstances aside, the King of Heroes chose to stave off his potential plans of revenge against the universe. With decreasing numbness and with a small jolt of relief that would never be made known, Gilgamesh begun to feel a full spectrum of jumbled stimuli assaulting his glorious person as his senses were slowly but steadily regaining the usual awe-inspiring sharpness.

The King of Heroes, once again, found himself praising his ungodly fortune. The golden king had, indeed, no idea where he was at the moment, or even how he had gotten there from the innards of the tainted grail that had consumed him. However, had he not been transported in such a unnaturally mana-dense area, even one such as him would have succumbed such extreme injuries. He could feel the powerful and intoxicating sensation of the world’s magic, as heavy and thick as he had never felt it, reenergizing his body and heroic soul with every breath, empowering him and increasing his rate of recovery. It was slow, true. A ridiculously small trickle of power compared to having a master to feed upon and even more pathetic when one considered how much magic one such as Gilgamesh tended to wield, but it was enough to restore and sustain him and, for now, that was good enough.

As his situational awareness slowly returned, the first thing he came to acknowledge was the feeling of a rich layer of grass over soft soil

beneath his still mostly insensate yet undoubtedly fabulous form. Well, seeing as the last time he visited it, the underworld lacked comfortable lush greenery. Gilgamesh found himself fairly reassured that he was still amongst the living, surrounded by unearthly dense mana or not. Although, in retrospect, living was a ridiculous expression to use considering he had been dead for untold millennia and was currently existing as some sort of glorified ghost made solid, but all in all, not a bad omen for his current situation.

The next thing the god king came to realize was the pleasant smell of baked goods at the distance. A smell made even more prominent by the summer heat and pleasant breeze that the king soon found to be washing over his person. It was an unbelievable, fine aroma. Even at this distance and by scent alone, Gilgamesh could tell that the baker, whoever he or she was, considered his occupation to be art and himself an artist. He could clearly tell that a lot of work, sweat and love had been dedicated into these pastries, a thought appealed unbelievably to the god king’s broken and starved body. Surely the baker and his goods would be fit for king such as him. If they did, Gilgamesh made a note to put the baker under his employ and pay him his weight in gold. Of course, that could just have been his ravenous hunger talking.

Oh! What’s this? Something was repeatedly nudging at his side. At first it was a weak sensation, easy to ignore. It was nothing more than a phantom touch, no more prominent than the wind that flowed over him. However as the golden king’s senses expanded and grew sharper, he managed to identify this previously insignificant sensation as touch, a push to be exact. Someone was poking him, with their foot no less, if his pressure receptors could be trusted. Normally, Gilgamesh would have been furious at the mere notion of such an act! Who would dare poke the ruler of Babylon as if it was some vagrant dog lying off the side of the street? The fact that he WAS probably laying off the side of a street was non-withstanding. Seeing as he was still struggling to regain the feeling of limbs he decided to stall his anger, in favor of focusing further on his surroundings. From the edges of his hearing he could hear a soft sound, a whisper coming from someone or something above, probably the vulgar person poking him. The murmurs slowly grew more and more pronounced at the god king slowly regained his strength, until…

“….-ou ok, man?” The voice spoke, finally becoming intelligible in the god-king’s ears.

Amassing his endless reserves of willpower, and even larger ego, Gilgamesh forced his eyes fully open. He would be damned if he, the Hero of Heroes, was found shamefully lying half insensate on some gods forsaken back-alley by a lowly commoner let alone receive their pity. Summoning his incredible heroic spirit strength, admittedly diminished by his lack of prana, the god king shot to his feet, earning an entirely satisfying yelp of surprise from the one that awoke him. Ha! Serves him right! No one stands above Gilgamesh! No one! Not even when he is unconscious!

He found himself hatefully humbled a second later when, for a peculiar reason he could not at the time comprehend, he entirely lost his balance and fell forward upon his stomach. Well, there goes his dignity. Fortunately, he had at least managed to retain from furiously cursing at every known god in the infinite dimensions in an enraged tantrum, so hey, that counted for something right? With that in mind, the god king finally turned to look at his unknown company, in hopes of forcing eternal silence upon his audience on the matter of his recent situation.

Yet, he found himself mystified when he saw no one in his immediate surroundings. How could this be? It wasn’t as if the oddly grassy alley he was lying in offered a lot of places for one to hide. All it was composed of was the two buildings that framed it, a grassy street and a few wooden boxes and barrels behind which he neither saw nor felt any living being. Well, actually, that was slightly inaccurate. There was, indeed, one other creature with him in the alley, but it was far from what the god king had expected to find.

“A horse?” The god king was, for the first time in years, no, centuries, completely baffled. Indeed it was a horse-a very, very weird horse that was currently giving him an equally weird look, a look that made Gilgamesh, just for a split second, almost believe that this peculiarly small and wide eyed creature was actually sentient. Pfft, as if. “Why is this beast standing over me? What kind of disrespect is this?! Do not insult my perceptive abilities! I heard your voice I know you are there! I demand that you show yourself!” Gilgamesh growled from his prone position on the ground.

A second later, the god king’s face was promptly introduced to speeding hoof in an equine version of the much fabled bitch slap.

“Who are you calling a horse, Goldie!” A voice of indignant female rage growled from above.

Shaking the stars from his eyes, mostly out of sheer shock than the strike, the hero king was forced to do a double take. No…no, it couldn’t be. Did this horse thing just talk...and…was it wearing…purple shades? His thoughts completely derailed by the new turn of events. The god king took a second to fully analyze the creature that stood before him. Despite his familiarity with horse breeds that was instilled to him by his Sumerian teachers during his childhood, the knowledge that the grail itself had granted him upon his materialization, and his own vast knowledge of ancient legends and myths, there was no horse he knew off, mythical or otherwise, that was about a meter tall, with a head composing over a third of its body, dressed in white fur, wearing purple sun glasses and having a spiky blue mane. This entire image was distinctly…ridiculous…and for some reason, girly…very, very girly.

Really, he thought, he shouldn’t be so surprised at the whole situation; Gilgamesh, both as heroic spirit and one born in the now passed age of gods, had seen his fair share of strangle magical talking creatures in the past. Also, while not quite the same as what was before him, there were in fact a few legends of mythical horses with supernatural abilities and human like intellect, but not like this. The general imagery that this creature offered was just so ridiculous and childish. It completely caught even him off guard. Frankly, the only thing he could relate this with was the horse sketches he used to make as a child for his art lessons at the palace…when he was three.

“What manner of insane and disgustingly immasculine legend spawned you?” He found himself blurting out. Almost predictably, what he received in response was a vicious snarl of barely restrained violence.

“I have no idea what you said Blondie, but that better not be a comment on my mom or by Celestia I’ll give you the hoofing of a lifetime!“

“The subject of your feeble ancestry is insignificant! I demand to know what manner or ridiculous chimera, phantasmal beast, legendary monster or otherwise, you are!” The god king growled, his ire rising. Not only was this creature insisting on treating him with disrespect, his current state of confusion and ignorance was rabidly getting on his nerves. Gilgamesh, both as king and unmatched warrior, wasn’t used to being in

the dark about what was happening around him. It imparted him a sense of weakness that he did not care for. Had his depleted prana reserves been great enough to accomplish the feat, he would have already executed this infuriating creature out of simple irritation, by use one of his infinite blades.

“Okay, I get it. You’re drunk out of your mind.” The horse mumbled, more to itself than to him. By the look of her surprisingly human face, it was made quickly apparent to Gilgamesh that half the terms he had just used had entirely gone over the tiny horse thing’s head. Later, much later, when Gilgamesh would quell his anger and if he actually cared to reflect on this encounter, he would find it logical for his magical terminology to be mistaken for drunken rumblings in the ears of the mundane. As things were now though, Gilgamesh was content to glare at the creature with seething rage. “Oh, stop giving me that look. You’re not scaring anyone Blondie. It just makes you look ridiculous. Get up, go home, and sober up. I don’t have time to deal with angry drunks right now. I’m late for the talent show, and I would REALLY hate to miss a chance to promote my rad sounds.”

“Do not make me repeat myself. What are you? Where am I?” Gilgamesh demanded angrily, entirely ignoring the horse thing’s words. In his ire, the ancient Sumerian king tried once more to stand up, to tower over the tiny pathetic thing, gaze down at its ridiculously large eyes and instill the deepest of fears inside them. All he managed was to collapse once again by the same uncanny sense of imbalance that had stricken him before. Gods damn it, what in the world was happening?

“Vinyl! Vinyl! Where are you!?” A feminine voice sounded from the entrance of the alley. As if stuck by a needle, the creature shot up and looked over its shoulders vainly looking for the speaker. Hidden behind the corner as it was, neither it nor Gilgamesh were able to see the actual source of the sound. However, his peculiar companion appeared to recognize whoever had shouted. Through the haze of hate that currently blinded the god king, a small part of his mind idly toyed with the thought that the speaker might as well be a creature similar to the one standing before him. What if this whole place was infested with them? A detestable thought!

“Just one second.” The white horse proclaimed before swiftly turning its…her attention back to him. It was a female right? “Ok, here’s the thing cider breath. You’re about two doors down sugar cube corner at the moment. It’s mid-afternoon. Gather up your wits, if you have any

that is, get on you hooves and go home. It’s for your own good, trust me. No one wants a grumpy intoxicated pony in the middle of a social gathering. ” And just like that, the creature referred to as Vinyl, turned tail and leisurely trotted down the alley and around the corner.

“Where do you think you’re going?!” The Hero of Heroes bellowed! Enraged that a lowly beast of burden, magical or otherwise, would dare ignore his words and dismiss him in such a demeaning manner. “Get back here! I demand it! I order it! You will suffer for a thousand days for this indignity!” Yet, with his heroic spirit ears, he could clearly hear the voices of the creature and her companion slowly getting further and further away. No one ignored Gilgamesh! The King of Heroes! Blinded by rage and bloodlust, he once more shot to his feet. In a mad delirium he tried to lunge after the creature and throttle it with his own two hands. Yet for the third time that day, powerful force pulled his upper body to the ground and all he earned for his troubles was a face full of grass.

Damn it! Damn it all! He was Gilgamesh! He would not stand for this indignity! Why did he find himself unable to walk? To stand even! It was as if his upper body had gotten three times heavier over night. Damn that Vinyl creature! It must have bewitched him! But how? His magic resistance was high enough to resist most curses and spells. Was it because he was weakened by his lack of prana? Damn it! It had even mocked him! Him! The great King of Heroes! ‘Get on your hooves and go home’ his anatomically perfect ass! He would that creature suffer for every sign of disrespect it ever showed to him! He would…would…wo-

….Wait….

‘Get on your hooves and go home’?

‘Hooves’?

She did say…’hooves’ right?...Oh no…Oh gods no…

With a horrible feeling of dread overtaking him, the King of Heroes ever so slowly turned his head around to look upon himself.

The roar of rage, shock and horror that followed resounded all over the small rural town of Ponyville.

First verse/Misunderstandings

So, it’s been about a month. S’up? Sorry for the long delay, but I DID warn people though that I was currently in the midst of the fiery pits of hell (med school exam period) and, as things would predictably have it, it was a time whore. I won’t give this up though. I really wanna try to finish this one without losing my hype over it being my second ever public-made story and all (snafu RPs not included).

Anyway, noticed I got quite a few negative reviews on the first chapter. Obviously this indicates that either people hate Gilgamesh and the Fate/stay night for its underwhelmingly explained universe (perfectly understandable) or my skills as a writer are rather less than stellar. Going with the second option myself, I’m gonna have to ask you guys for any constructive criticism you can offer. My imaginary future line of novels demands it, and God knows I ain’t becoming a better writer by banging my head against a wall (I tried).

Thankfully, to correct my occasional hiccups i have my proofreader: CrossoverManiac to watch my literary back. Were we all so lucky...

Without further ado, enjoy:

Chapter 2:
First verse/Misunderstandings

It had been a very tiring day for Ditzy.

Waking up from the first rays of Celestia’s sun to attend the two jobs you had to hold up for the sake of your family tended to wear a pony down, especially one with an infallible talent and unmatched affinity for accidents and trouble like her. A trait that sure as hay hadn’t helped this particular blond-maned, cross-eyed pegasus any. Just earlier that day, she had mixed up the letters between a count in Cloudsdale and some poor mare in the outskirts of Ponyville. Ms. Bottomline had been very disappointed to know that she had not, in fact, unknowingly bought the deed for the Lucky Wings Race Track, a sentiment that she had spared no small amount of energy in conveying to the mail-mare. Dear sweet Celestia, it had been months since Ditzy had seen another pony shout like that.

It was hard to imagine that was the highlight of the day. It still got worse. Her boss at the moving business had taken a full blown hour to chew her out for taking the chariot to the wrong side of town. During every other second of those nightmarish sixty minutes, Ditzy was worried that she might soon be forced to look for a new job. Thankfully, Mr. Charger hadn’t gone that far but, Celestia, had he come close. Ugh, that

doo-doo head! It wasn’t her fault she went north instead of south, not this time. Honest! Those traffic pegasi should really learn to give better directions.

All in all, it was just another Monday for Ditzy, or, at least, it would have been if that had been the end of it. But noooo! Her rotten luck just had to make things worse. How, you ask? It’s simple-by making these unfortunate events occur with the most horrible timing possible. Due to the proverbial verbal spar her boss put her through, which mostly involved him yelling and her trying desperately not break down crying and/or throw a vase at his head, Ditzy now found herself horribly late for something horribly important.

Again.

She had promised Dinky to take her to the annual Ponyville talent show today, but, judging by the time, the show was probably down on its last couple of performers. She still had a chance, however. She had already informed Dinky that she would meet her on location if something like this happened. If Ditzy did her best and flew as fast…and straight, as she possibly could, she could probably be there in time to catch the last couple of acts. Sure, she was no Rainbow dash when it came to flying but that wouldn’t stop her from doing her best. Ditzy really, really, didn’t want to disappoint the young filly, especially after what happened during her last Mage-ball practice.

Why, oh why, of all possible days, did all of this have to happen today?

At sometime during her internal monologue, her flight path had begun veering towards the left again, Ditzy realized with a small jolt. No! She had to keep her eyes straight on towards city hall, she thought. She quickly corrected her course. As embarrassed as she was to admit it, paying close attention to her surroundings was, unfortunately, not one of Ditzy’s most well-honed skills. All the same, that just wouldn’t do in this situation. She had to avoid all distractions if she wanted to make it on time. She had to concentrate on her destination. She had to focus. Focus. Focus. She repeated.

Focus. Focus. Focus. Focus. Focus. Focus. Focus. Focus. Focus. Foc-oh, hey!

Why was that stallion down there hitting the ground with his face?

At the sight of the bizarre spectacle; the gray mare’s frenzied flight rapidly degenerated to a causal hover over one of the many houses of Ponyville, in particular, a house that overlooked a small, out of the way alley. A pony, a unicorn to be exact, with an honest to goodness golden coat, appeared to be doing his best to thoroughly embrace the ground. Tilting her head in silent question, Ditzy watched as, in a manner that would leave one convinced that he was fighting against his very legs, the stallion slowly and unsteadily dragged his hooves below his body and attempted to stand up, attempted being the key word. The poor colt didn’t even hold himself up for a second before face-planting, muzzle first, into the very earth he stood upon. Boy, thought Ditzy, that would have definitely hurt had the dirt of Ponyville not been replaced by soft fertile soil upon its founding. Being no stranger to collisions herself, Ditzy could confidently attest that fact.

At that moment, a small part inside Ditzy, the part in which she always hid the pain and embarrassment of her own natural clumsiness and its normally disastrous results to her surroundings and social life, empathized with the sight of this desperately uncoordinated stallion that seemed to out klutz even her. I mean, what kind of butterfingers did you have to be, to be unable to stand on your own hooves? With thoughts of the talent show forgotten, Ditzy dived down from her position on the sky, coming to an uncharacteristically smooth landing in front of the colt in question. The stallion himself didn’t seem to notice. He was apparently too preoccupied with having with his muzzle firmly imbedded in Ponyville’s squishy dirt.

“Hello there, mister. You seem to be having some trouble with something.” Ditzy said, happily, and was visibly ecstatic at the opportunity of helping another. “Anything I can do to help?” At the sound of her voice, the stallion all but blasted off from his position on the ground. He jolted to his hooves with such speed and power that Ditzy let off a small squeak of surprise. That had not been what she had anticipated. In fact, it was the kind of reaction she would have expected if she had threatened to chop him up into pieces and cook him for dinner.

For moment, the stallion seemed to be unstable, and Ditzy feared that he soon would find himself sprawled along the ground once more. Fortunately, thanks to some frantic hoof fumbling, he seemed to find a, somewhat, stable footing, well, at least until a strong breeze came and bawled him over, by the sight of him. He seemed so engrossed in coordinating his hooves that Ditzy was certain he would ignore her if she tried to press her questions further. As such, she simply stood silently, patiently awaiting a response, as the stallion spend a few moments to properly orient himself.

When he finally did turn to acknowledge her, his ensuing reaction once more threw Ditzy off the loop. Where one would expect a pony being offered help to respond with a bright smile and a ‘thank you’, or very rarely, even a rude ‘mind your own business’, the stallion just proceeded to instantly freeze up and, with eyes as small as pinpricks, stare at Ditzy as if she was some ancient eldritch terror from the deepest recesses of Everfree. As if that hadn’t been creepy enough by itself, he stood staring at her with that same look for the better half of five minutes. It was all Ditzy could do to refrain from squirming uncomfortably. What REALLY freaked Ditzy the hay out, however, came an instant later, when the stallion’s eyes all but bulged of his skull in sheer alarm. He didn’t even spare a second before bringing his teeth to bare against the mare. In his face more rage was etched than Ditzy ever thought to see on any pony ever.

What followed was the longest, angriest, fastest stream of words Ditzy had ever heard. Unbeknownst to her, she was very lucky to be unable to understand ancient Sumerian at the time.

“Um…ahh…Mister…Y-you speak funny, are you a foreigner?” She said, drawing herself away at angry response. Not that she would ever voice it, but Ditzy begun panicking a little on the inside right then. No, that wasn’t quite right. She had been panicking ever since the colt laid eyes on her. Every bit of this stallion just screamed unstable for moment number one. Why, again, had she approached this weirdo in the first place?

Unfortunately, her response served to irritate the peculiar pony even further.

“Begone, you pest!” He bellowed his voice-filled hate.

“W-what?” Ditzy asked dumbfounded at the surprising amount of resentment that seemed to all but ooze from the stallion’s mouth.

“I said leave, you beast!” He yelled, sparing no quarter

“B-but…I just want to help…” Ditzy meekly responded, not really knowing how to react to this new form of direct verbal abuse.

“I do not need any further help from your kind, you stupid cross-eyed horse!” The stallion roared back. Teeth gashing and eyes all but spewing flame. “Go back to the hellish pit that spawned you before I send you there myself!”

Ditzy recoiled in respond to his words as if physically struck. In those two simple sentences the golden unicorn had somehow managed to strike every single self conscious cord in Ditzy’s heart. Her peculiar looks and unnatural clumsiness had always made Ditzy a subject of ridicule in the eyes of other ponies. True, they rarely said anything to her face, but she could always, always, catch the stinging criticisms on the edges of her hearing whenever they thought her back was turned. Even without the constant demeaning comments against her person, her funny googly eyes had eternally been a sore point for the poor mare.

This ungrateful bastard had just taken a knife and shoved right on to the mare’s most sensitive spot, before twisting it for good measure, as if her day hadn’t been crappy enough. First, she gets lectured by Ms. Bottomline, then suffers though an hour’s worth of yelling by Mr. Charger, runs late on meeting Dinky, and now this? She stops to help a pony in trouble and gets offended in the worst possible way instead! This was just overkill! The straw that broke the camel’s back!

Her face scrunched up and for a moment her eyes watered, threatening to shed tears filled with the compiled frustrations of a long, painful and exhausting day. Grief, however, that was very soon translated to the release of years repressed misery and anger. She had already been through enough for that day even without this chump’s insensitive remarks! He had no right to insult her like that-not him, not her bosses, not her peers, not anypony! She slammed her hoof down with an outraged snort and gazed disdainfully at the source of her ire. Taking the full weight of her daily aggravation to bare, the gray mare begun shouting at the strange stallion as she had never shouted before and as she had always wished she could.

“That insult was completely unnecessary!” She begun, using with every bit of power in her tiny body. “You’re really, really mean pony! I don’t like you! Not one bit!” Ditzy took a secret and very guilty delight at the sight of the shock and confusion that instantly colored the weird stallion’s face, although, the change was probably for different reasons that those she originally imagined.

“All I wanted to do was help and all you did was be angry and mean and aggressive and…and…and mean to me!” She really hated being this forceful towards another pony but really, he disserved it! They all did! “I try to be kind and this is what I get? Fine, if that’s what you want then I won’t bother trying to help anymore! I have no idea what’s wrong with you and why you have trouble moving, and I was really, really worried and wanted to help, but if you don’t want a ‘cross-eyed horse’ like me helping you, then buster, you’re on...your...own!” Ditzy screamed, thrusting an angry hoof at the mean colt’s chest with every declaration. That in mind, the stallion himself was a bit too busy trying to stay standing to actually respond to her.

“Hmph!” She huffed and turned around to leave. Consequently her tail whipped around to smack the unicorn straight in the muzzle, promptly causing him to finally lose his already hopeless fight with gravity and unceremoniously collapse in an ungraceful heap, very much like some sack of potatoes. “Have fun rolling on the grass!” Ditzy huffed stomping away. She had been ready to take off when she finally heard mister meany-meany angry pants calling after her in desperation.

“Wait! Wait!” He franticly exclaimed. The sheer anxiety that seemed to fill the pony’s voice caused Ditzy to pause for one begrudging second, turning to look over her hunches at the downed stallion. One hoof was stretched urgently at her direction as he tried and failed to get up and chase after her. At the sight of her inquiring gaze, the golden stallion’s form seemed sag and an unhappy air of angry resignation washed over him.

“Fine, if you want to help that much, then I shall allow it.” He begun, glaring back at her angrily. In Ditzy’s eyes, he spoke as if he was trying to preserve some peculiar sort of pride, but its nature was unknown to the mail mare. “Listen well, beast. One from your wretched kind cursed me! Break this enchantment, and I’ll reward you with more gold than what you weight.”

Obviously, Ditzy was not impressed.

“You? Cursed?”

“Obviously!”

“You’re trying to make fun of me again! Everypony knows curses don’t exist! Don’t you remember that Zecora incident?”

“Do you not see that I’ve been turned into a horse!?”

“You’re not making any sense! And don’t use that word! It’s a bad word!”

“Will you help me or not?!”

“Argh! Fine! I don’t know what you’re talking about, but if it’s a problem with magic, then Twilight should be able to help you out.”

“Twilight? As in…those wretched romance stories Kirei’s daughter always reads? What does that abomination to all things literature has to do with my current situation?!”

“Wait, what? No. I mean Twilight Sparkle.”

Pause, blink.

“You’re…really not from around here are you?”

Glare.

“Okie-dokie then….well, Twilling is the strongest, bestest and most smartest unicorn in all of Ponyville, if not in all of Equestria! I don’t know her personally, but I heard that she was even the princess’s apprentice at some point! Can you imagine that? If you have any problem that involves magic, then she’s your mare.”

“Very well, if this is the best you have to offer, then you may take my wonderful self to this….Twilight.” Ditzy could almost swear that he sounded as if saying the name left a bad taste in his mouth.

“Uhh…she’s probably at the talent show right now. Word around town was that her friends convinced her to perform some of her magic for the younger unicorns to learn from. Everyone is pretty excited over it. It’s not every day a magician of her caliber shows off her stuff in Ponyville.

Well, Trixie also did it, but she wasn’t really all that good from what I heard. But wow, I’m also pretty excited at Twilight performing. Dinky could learn so much from just…” She trailed off. A realization suddenly hit her hard. “Oh no! The talent show! Dinky! I’m sooooo late! You distracted me sooo much! I-I-I-I lost so much time!”

“You claim that I have stole your time? Insolent beast! You are lucky to even share words with me! The great Gilgamesh!”

“Yeah, yeah, Gigamarshmallow, whatever! I’m sorry but I really, really have to go!”

“Wait, you ignorant beast!”

“Sorry, bye!”

“I said wait! Where you going!? You vowed to take me to this Twilight person!”

“Oh right! Sorry!”

Chomp.

“H-hey! Let go of my tail!”

“Sowy no twime! Ghotta fwy!”

“BY THE NAME OF BABYLON!!!!”

And thus, they were off.

In all his years as the most powerful heroic spirit in existence, the pure embodiment of the first legend to ever grace the history of man, having fought and conquered countless powerful opponents and cheated death more times than the sky had stars, Gilgamesh had never imagined that he would end up staring death in the eye so many times in the hands, well mouth, of some stylized version of Pegasus.

This thing was INSANE!

Not only was Gilgamesh being carried at far greater speeds and with far less control that he would ever really care for, this creature also seemed to have absolutely no sense of direction whatsoever or self preservation, for that matter. Within the first minutes of their flight, Gilgamesh had almost found his glorious self face-planting into three walls, two billboards, fours roofs, and eight windows. It was as if the thing had taken flying lessons from Berserker or something.

He had desperately tried to voice his plight at the suicidal little thing, but every time a word of complaint left his mouth, he found himself completely ignored. The damn thing just kept staring forward with that ridiculous scrunched up look of pointlessly intense concentration. An expression that in any other possible situation would have probably seemed comical had the god king not been a bit too worried about losing his head to some random traffic sign. Worse yet, he didn’t even have a chance to get angry over it. Every time he found himself thinking, ‘ok that’s enough, time to start breaking legs’, his companion once more displayed her (it was a her right?) complete lack of any sort of sense of direction, and they were send corkscrewing through the air. The ground and sky had switched positions so many times during the short interval that even his ethereal body’s stomach had started to churn, which would normally make absolutely no sense whatsoever. In one instance, Gilgamesh whipped straight out of the thing’s grasp and almost took a sixty meter plunge if not for the creature making a short, mad dash to stop his fall. When the two had finally come to a stop, Gilgamesh thanked every god in the Sumerian pantheon that that horrible experience had finally ended.

Well, for a split second at least. A second after which, he proceeded to once again curse every single god he knew into oblivion at the sight of the veritable sea of bright pastel colored horses that seemed to compose the square which they were now hovering over.

They...were...EVERYWHERE!

Some were flying through the sky (pegasi!?!); some were watching through the windows, some were attending an innumerable number of stalls that were peppering the plaza. All them were talking, laughing, playing, running, eating, singing, dancing and…were the horned ones performing magic? (UNICORNS?!?!??!) Most horrifying though were the sheer numbers of the damn things that were gathered in front of the large drama stage that had been set up in front of, what he would later come to know as the Ponyville City Hall cheering at two performers as they took the stage. Everywhere he turned, the senses of the King of Heroes found themselves assaulted from all sides by a mess of vibrant balloons of every conceivable hue and shape, a disgustingly intoxicating mix of scents of an untold variety of fresh carnival fair, the joyful jumble of lively music and cheer, and a greater variety of vivid colors that even a rainbow could stomach.

Gods, it was as if he had died and went to some sort of weird horse heaven for children or something.

Alas, it was soon be evident that fate was not yet done toying with the Hero of Heroes. As the golden king and his chaperone started their slow descend toward the festivities, to which the god king found himself just too gods damn stunned by the general spectacle around him to object to, his magically enhanced superior hearing caught the voice of a young girl, or most appropriately in this case, a young filly projecting towards the pair from the endlessly turbulent masses of color bellow. Turning his attention towards that general direction, the god king fell witness to an even smaller than usual pink horse, of the horned variety, shouting and waving at him and his ride.

“Mom!” He could hear her say. “Mom, over here!” Well, it would appear this would be the Dinky person the gray mare had been referring to earlier, not that Gilgamesh really cared. Unfortunately for Gilgamesh though, he would soon. He wasn’t the only one of the pair that had noticed the filly right then.

“Dinky!”

“aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”

Crush!

From his position over the splintered remains of the apple fishing barrel, the King of Heroes, now wet and sporting a headache the size of Fuyuki City, silently cursed the inability of his newest companion to carry anything in any other fashion than with her mouth.

“MOM! What did you do?!”

“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! Are you ok? I’m sooooooo sorry! Please tell me you didn’t break a leg or something!”

“…Suffering your eternal be will.…”

“Okay then…Sir, I think you may have had a concussion.” The three pink fillies from earlier said. Wait! Wasn’t there only one? “It’s ok, come over here and sit down. Everything will be fine.” Gilgamesh could vaguely acknowledge the filly, who he reminded himself was only one person and not three, slowly guiding him away from wreckage and pushing him down to a prone position on the grass.

“I’m so horribly, terribly sorry! I’m such a hopeless klutz! Please don’t be mad!” Gilgamesh heard the older, grayer mare state. To his shaken brain, however, she sounded as if she was ten meters away. Damn, normally this kind of drop wouldn’t have affected him this much. Apparently though, having your stats lowered due to prana exhaustion really SUCKED. “Here, drink this. It’ll help,” she said. The King of Heroes felt something sweet smelling and with a straw sticking out of it being pushed in front of his mouth.

“If I could see straight right now, you would be dead.”

“Oh come on mister. My mom said she was sorry. It’s not her fault she’s a bit clumsy sometimes. Plus, you didn’t really get hurt or anything, so it should be fine.”

“Yeah. I’ll treat you to all the muffins you want after this to make it up to you, so please don’t hold it against me.”

The golden king refrained from answering in favor of sipping some of the milkshake he had been offered (a milkshake…really?) hoping desperately that it would make his awful sense of vertigo go away.

“So, mom, who is this colt any way?”

“I…ah…Don’t really know. I just found him near sugar cube corner a while back. He had trouble walking upright so he asked me to bring him here to talk to Twilight.” Oh Dinky. She didn’t finish her performance already did she? “I’m sorry I was so late but work was a mess today and this guy appeared and…everything.” Ditzy pleaded. Her ears and tail went limp.

“It’s ok mom. She hasn’t showed up yet. In fact, her act is next. But really, you took a poor disabled pony you randomly found on the street, along for one of your mad dashes through the town? Somepony could seriously get hurt. At least be more careful when you’re carrying somepony else.” The honey-eyed filly scolded in one of the most unusual role reversals between mother and child.

“Oh, you’re right sugar-muffin. I should have paid a bit more attention.”

“Child!” Gilgamesh suddenly exclaimed, much to the surprise of both mother and daughter. “I shall ask you something and, for your sake, you will answer truthfully.”

“…Okay?”

“Are you really this female’s biological offspring?”

“Of course she is!” Dinky didn’t even have the chance to contemplate his words before her mother cut in the conversation in outrage. “Me being a pegasus and her a unicorn doesn’t make her any less my daughter! I know it’s a rare thing, but don’t you dare think otherwise!” Dinky just stared at her mom in silent adoration. Ditzy was in an infamously difficult pony to anger. When it came to her baby, however, she became as fierce as a lion. Dear Celestia, Ditzy loved her daughter.

“I see. Now it all makes sense.” Gilgamesh stated solemnly.

“Yeah that’s right mist…wait, huh?” The gray mare sounded off as her previous ferocity was totally derailed in the face of the unexpected response.

“Phantasmal beasts cannot reproduce like you do.”

“Phantom monsters what? What are you talking about?” She asked, sounding utterly confused.

“I have known from the beginning that this was neither illusion nor dream, and, while true that your world is deeply pervaded with mana, it is not great enough to maintain a reality marble or marble phantasm for an area as large as this. Furthermore, this being some sort of space projected within the Grail is highly unlikely. There’s too much honest happiness for something that corrupt to replicate. If you are not some wandering or unknown flock of phantasmal beasts, then only one explanation remains.” Well, barred one other that Gilgamesh would not even dare to contemplate.

Both mother and child stared oddly at the blond unicorn. Apparently though, he had lost himself the deep recesses of his own logic, for he simply continued reciting his thoughts as if the two weren’t even there.

“During the last day of the 5th Holy Grail War of Fuyuki City, when I was trapped inside the Grail, it had tried using me as a corporeal medium for it to materialize itself in the mortal world. However, since I was also a spiritual being, the Grail was unable to sustain itself in any practical manner. Yes, yes. The moment the Heaven’s Feel ritual was disrupted and the Grail destroyed by that faker and his little band of bitches, the Grail’s instability must have caused it to collapse in on itself.”

“Mom…Are you sure this pony is…you know…ok?”

“I don’t know sugar-muffin…I just, don’t know...”

“All those tremendous magical energies compressed and mingled like that. It’s a one in a million event, but it must have formed a rift in space and time, a whole in reality that launched my soul to this god forsaken dimension. Everything fits together! No other reasoning can exist!” In reality, a small chance,” the hero king whispered. It was gods damn ridiculous and impossibly farfetched. Still, it was currently the best thing Gilgamesh had in terms of a rational explanation. The final alternative was…no, Heroic spirits were unable to go insane after all….could they? Curse of madness? No, no! Of course they weren’t, especially him, the King of Heroes!

From the sidelines Dinky and Ditzy watched as their strange acquaintance viciously shook his head while mumbling up a storm. Because of Gilgamesh’s strange rant, Ditzy decided that it was probably a good idea to pull Dinky behind her, just in case.

“This also explains my current form.” Gilgamesh started off again. “When I arrived upon this world, my spirit must have been so damaged and diminished that it naturally assumed a form which allowed my body to better feed upon the insane mana concentration that your world seemed to posses. But if this theory is correct…” By then a huge gap had formed between the hero king and the surrounding mass of ponies. A few had actually stopped and formed a circle around him, watching with varying degrees of curiosity as the gold mane stallion who seemed to have trouble controlling his own feet, attempted drunkenly to pace back a forth while mumbling incoherently.

“HA!” The entirely unexpected sound of the sudden exclamation was what caused all of Gilgamesh’s acquired audience, as well as every colt and filly in a five meter radius, to recoil in shock. Well, at least that was what Ditzy hoped. She really didn’t want to believe that the particularly alarming look of crazy enlightenment and insane glee which she was now seeing within the unicorn’s eyes was anything else other than her own overactive imagination. It was a false assumption, true, but it was still a falsehood she wholeheartedly wanted to believe in.

“…If this is true, all I have to do is form a contract. Yes, yesssss! That’s it! A contract! With a steady stream of prana flowing through me, I should be able to shed his currently pathetic form and regain my glorious human proportions. Glorious! But, it can’t be just anyone…” No, not just anyone would do for the King of Heroes, he needed someone powerful, someone influential, and above all, someone entertaining. It wasn’t just because a king like him deserved only the best this world had to offer, but it would also maximize his chance of losing the tail. But who could he form a contract with?

“Okay ladies and gentlecolts, give it up for the Spark brothers and their amazing display of pyrotechnics!” The booming voice belonged to none other than the orange colt with the top hat and enchanted loudspeaker currently acting as the talent show’s announcer. His shout had been just loud and teeth rattling enough to off Gilgamesh from his one man tirade changing the target of his frustrations straight to that very same announcing pony prancing happily on the stage in the distance. “Next up is what you’ve all been waiting for! She’s smart! She’s funny! Magical in more ways than one, it’s our town’s very own master caster, the very student of Celestia herself-Twilight Sparkle!”

A huge round of cheering and hoof clapping roared from the surrounding crowd.

“Watch closely, young fillies and colts, for you are about to get a lesson in magic that you will never forget!”

“Watch closely, young fillies and colts, for you are about to get a lesson in magic that you will never forget!”

Well, they won’t. Celestia knew that SHE would definitely never forget this whole fiasco.

Behind the curtains of the stage, the purple unicorn with the magenta mane, the infamous Twilight Sparkle, stood, shaking in a nervous wreck, next to her ever faithful assistant, Spike. The infant dragon in all of his emerald and purple splendor, now sporting a stylish black suit and top hat, just merrily fixing his bowtie and simply having a ball over the current situation.

How he could be so relaxed, Twilight had no clue. They were about to perform in front of the entire town! What if something where wrong? What if she messed up a spell and caused something to explode or something? Oh, she couldn’t let that happen! There were dozens of young unicorns in audience waiting for her to part them with her knowledge! She couldn’t just show them something faulty or flawed, especially when it would so badly reflect on the results of a studious life style. Most ponies already disliked studying and avoided it if they could. If they also started thinking that books hadn’t faired any results, even for a bookworm like her, it would leave such a bad impression on the youth of tomorrow.

She just couldn’t let it happen.

Did she study the proper spells? Did she have them memorized well enough? Was her hair combed correctly? Did she eat a complete breakfast before coming here? Was her horn sufficiently polished and in pristine condition? Oh no! What if her horn malfunctioned for some reason? What if she was sick and she didn’t know it? What if she fainted in the middle of the show?

“Uhhh…S-spike…Do you r-real think this is such a good idea.” The unicorn shakily asked turning to regard the baby dragon with large anxious eyes.

“Chillax Twi.” Spike calmly stated whilst fixing his hat. “Everything is gonna be fine. You’re the smartest, most composed, most organized pony I’ve ever met, not to mention the best magic user I know. Heck, you’re probably the best magic user to appear in Equestria since Starwirl the mustached.”

“Starswirl the Bearded,” she deadpanned.

“Right! That guy! See, most ponies wouldn’t even have noticed that slip!” He cheerfully pointed out. “Relax, Twilight. If it’s you, then there’s no possible WAY this can go wrong.”

For her part, Twilight just fixed him with an uncertain look, but Spike could see it in her eye. She was already feeling more confident and sure of herself-might as well. They were going to rock this town!

“And without further ado, I present you, Twilight Sparkle and her charismatic assistant-Spike the dragon!” The announcer, Radio Loud, exclaimed as yet another outburst of cheering from the ponies of Ponyville ranged out. Soon, all Twilight could do was watch nervously as the curtains of the stage slowly opened to reveal them.

“I hope your right Spike.” She said hesitantly, her voice underlined with subtle confidence. “Cause here we go!”

Her horn glowed brighter than the largest stars in the night sky. As the stage and all in it was laid bare for the world to see, all who bared witness were found enamored by a mesmerizing display of magic and skill.

Twenty minutes into the show and Twilight found herself happy, really, really happy. Things could not have possibly gone better for the purple mare. As she and Spike stood bowing in front of the plaza-worth of ponies that consisted of her audience and all were now thoroughly awed and amazed at her earlier display of magical prowess, she inwardly thanked dearly her idol and mentor, Celestia, for the good fortune that had been send her way that day. Her conjugation spells had been flawless, her levitation impeccable and even her illusions had been near perfect. Nothing could go wrong now!

The show had been a huge success, better than she had originally dreamed even. She could already see that sparks of inspiration and hard work igniting in the eyes of some of the younger unicorns in the front row. Heck, even some of the older unicorns seemed to gain the will to work harder in their magical abilities. This was wonderful! Remarkable! Magnificent! By Celestia’s blessing she had somehow managed to achieve every single one of the goals she had set for this performance. Oh, she could already see the customers at her library increasing exponentially! She almost squealed in glee right then and there! All those minds thirsty for knowledge!

But, let’s not get ahead of our selves, she thought. She still had the closing act to perform. As she turned to face her assistant, she could already see the eagerness on his small, cute, reptilian face. Man, he really liked this mustache spell didn’t he?

She giggled, and he huffed.

Oh well. Let him have his fun. He deserved it for helping her pull this off, and they could afford to be a bit relaxed for this one last, small trick, right? After all, it was the end of the show, what could possibly happen? Hmmm…Now that she thought about it, if Rarity and Applejack hadn’t convinced her to do this, she would have never achieved any of it. She really needed to...

“Rejoice pastel colored equine! For I, the great Gilgamesh, have decided to make you my master!!!”

...slap them upside the head and ask them to stop being so stubborn.

“Oh no….”

“Hey who said that?” It wasn’t long before her draconian helper got his response. However, he didn’t like it at all when he finally did.

Below the stage, the crowd of confused and whispering ponies slowly parted to reveal an increasingly hesitant looking gray pegasus, slowly advancing through the audience whilst supporting a distinctly unsteady unicorn with a gold-colored mane and a crazed look in his eyes, an insane look that seemed to be all but super-glued straight onto a quickly despairing Twilight Sparkle.

“Derpy Whooves? The Mail mare?” Spike exclaimed surprised.

“Spike!” Twilight interjected. “I told you not to call her that! That's just a stupid nickname some mean ponies use to make fun of her…clumsiness. It’s not polite.”

“But Twi!”

“No buts young dragon or it’s no mustache for you!”

“Ohhhhh, but Twwwwiiiiiii!”

“It’s…It’s ok Twilight, I don’t mind.” Ditzy suddenly called. “I’m just…REALLY….sorry about this.” The frantic glances the mail-mare kept sending towards the pony she was supporting, did not really reassure Twilight that this interruption would have a happy ending. It’s the story of her life.

Sigh.

“Derp-I mean, Ditzy. Ditzy Doo, what’s going on? Who is that pony you’re carrying? Is he the one who shouted right now?”

“ ummm….Yes…but…I-i-i…it’s just that I promised…”

“Enough of your senseless dribbling, females!”

“FEMALES?! Uh…who? Wha-”

“Reallly, reaaaalllllyyy sorry…”

“We must conduct the appropriate ceremony immediately!” The colt shouted...no...commanded. “Even if am the greatest hero in history, my current weakened state is unacceptable! I cannot keep going without someone like you!” No matter how she looked at the golden stallion, Twilight could see something distinctly unhinged within those crimson eyes of his. What did she do to deserve this?

“Whoa, whoa, wait. What are you talking about?!” She rushed, trying desperately to make sense of the situation before it deteriorated further.

“Irrelevant!” He shouted in turn. “I’ll have time to attend to your dull state of ignorance after we complete the ritual to seal our bond!” Well, there goes salvaging the situation. Still if she could just understand what was happen- Waaaiiiit a second.

Someone like you? Seal the bond? Ceremony?

“Just-Whoa-Hold-A-are you…hitting on me?”

“Not yet, but if you keep testing my patience, I might!”

“…Come again?”

“The Lord of Uruk has spoken, woman! You are wasting valuable time. The worst possible kind of time to waste-my time! Hurry up and accept my proposal! I command you to become my mistress!”

“WHAT?”

Down by the audience of utterly baffled ponyvillians, a small, yet incredibly important group of five mares was watching the entire exchange with their jaws nearly touching the ground. Well, four of them were. The fifth was just spazzing out all over the ground laughing uproariously. These five particular mares were the infamous bearers of the Elements of Harmony, gemstones representing the most powerful sources of pure magic found in Equestria. Most importantly, however, those five were Twilight Sparkle’s closest and most trusted friends. All of which, now found themselves utterly at loss at how to react to this new, bizarre situation.

“Girls, should we, uh, do something about this?” The orange earth pony, Applejack, spoke with her customary Texan drawl. She was gazing at the rest of her friends questioningly as she scratched the blond mane under her cowboy hat in puzzlement.

“Ghahahaha! Why? Ha! This is hilarious!” Rainbow Dash choked out between her roaring laugher. It was obvious that the cyan pegasus with the multicolored mane could do little more than just roll around on the ground while clutching her sides.

“Rainbow! Don’t laugh like that in this type of situation! It is unsightly and improper! Our poor friend Twilight is currently being confessed to by a young stallion!...A rather…unstable looking stallion with a horrid sense of timing but its still a confession non-the-less. We need to respect his feelings. It’s for the sake…,” She stopped for a dramatic pause and even more dramatic pose, “…of amour!” This particular piece of work was Rarity. A pure white unicorn with a purple main that always viewed fashion and romance as high priorities...no...necessities in life.

“Uh…I don’t know Rarity…Twilight seems kind of…uncomfortable.” Fluttershy, a timid little cream colored creature of a pegasus, was currently doing her best to vanish from the eyes of the surrounding crowd between a combination of her companions and her own flowing pink mane. The fact that no other ponies but her friends were really paying attention to her didn’t really seem to register to her awkward personality.

“Oh, I don’t see why you girls are making such a big deal out of this. I see this happening all the time in my parties. A colt likes a filly, and he tells it to her, no biggie. This one just chose a really interesty time to do so, that’s all.” This final addition to the party was none other than the party animal herself, the pink menace, the forever cheerful, the logic defying, the eternally peculiar earth pony of laugher, Pinkie pie.

“Ah don’t know, sugar cube. This whole scene seems awfully strange to be something regular ponies would do.”

“Oh calm down Applejack. Everything will be just okey-dockey-lokey. You’ll see.”

“Ghaha! Yeah! Let’s just enjoy the show!!”

“Rainbow maybe you shouldn’t, I mean perhaps you should avoid, I mean if you want to-“

“Its ok dear, I may not agree with her attitude, but she’s right for now. The best we can do is just stand back and watch. Besides, little Spiky is already moving to salvage the situation. Look.” Rarity stated, pointing towards the stage.

“Ah don’t think this is gonna end well.”

“Hold it right there buster.” Spike suddenly exclaimed. The infant dragon wasted no time to jump in front of his caretaker and take the reins of the conversation. “I don’t know or care who you think you are, but this stop here. Back off!”

Unfortunately, that didn’t really seem to impress the strange golden unicorn.

“You would stand in my way, lowly lizard?” He roared.

“Lowly liz-Hey! I’ll have you know that I am a dragon! And I-”

“I order you to pull the other one, as modern day peasants would say.” The stranger laughed.

“Why you! I’ll show you! Get a load of this!!” Spike shouted and let loose a gigantic outpour of emerald flame, which, naturally to the eyes of everyone lacking his ego, appeared as nothing more than a tiny flash of heat. “How do you like that!” The dragon bragged smugly, haughtily snapping his fingers.

The response was not really what he expected.

“Ha, you’re fairly entertaining for an overgrown reptile,” said Gilgamesh.

“Hey, don’t talk to my assistant like tha-“ Twilight protested.

“Oh yeah? Well forget about Twi pal!” Spike said as he played the roll of the overprotective father of a teenage daughter. “If you wanna ask her out, it will be over my dead, totally non-lizard and awesome dragon body”

“Spike!” Twilight wasn’t exactly accepting of Spike’s new roll as substitute father figure.

“Once again, you make no sense mongrel,” Gilgamesh said dismissively. “Stand back and be silent. You are beginning to annoy me.”

“Hey!“ Twilight objected.

Spike said mockingly, “as if you weren’t all over Twilight a few moment ago! ‘I’ll be your servant, let’s have a ceremony and be my mistress.’ Blah, blah, blah! Blegh! What do you call that?”

“Watch your tongue, mongrel!” Gilgamesh ordered.

Twilight tried to stop the back and forth between her assistant and her crazed ‘admirer’. “Would you two-”

“Be silent, magical pastel horse thing!” Gilgamesh cut Twilight off mid-sentence.

“Yeah Twi,” said Spike, “this isn’t about you!”

“WHAT?” Twilight shouted indignantly.

“You’re not hooking up with Twilight!” Spike repeated his objections.

“As if I, the unparalleled Kind of Heroes, Gilgamesh, would have any interest in courting a dumb and lowly beast of burden, especially a demure, candy colored caricature of a horse! You insult me lizard!”

“EXCUSE YOU?!” Now this chauvinistic jerk was pushing Twilight’s patience to their limits.

“Hey! Don’t you talk about Twilight like that!” Baby dragon or not, Spike was ready to rip the golden unicorn a brand new one.

“I had just about enough of you, you walking pair of snake-skin slippers!” Gilgamesh yelled.

“That does it, Mr. Fabulous! You’re going down!” Spike took a deep breath ready to singe some fur.

Gilgamesh gestured to the angry dragon. “If you are so eager to taste death then I shall grand you your wish! Come at me mongrel!”

“BY CELESTIA’S NAME! BOTH OF YOU! SHUT UP!”

“Oy! What’s with you three? Hey announcer, what’s taking so long? I have everything set up here in the back.” The voice, which was coming from offstage had a dreadful familiarity to it.

“Vinyl Scratch?” Twilight said.

“Vinyl? As in DJ-Pon3?!” Had this been any other occasion, Spike would have been giddy with fan worship of the up and coming dubstep artist.

“Vinyl creature?” Now Gilgamesh remembered that bitch-on-hooves. It was the very pony that smacked him around in his weakened state.

“Goldie?” Vinyl blurted out in shock of seeing the crazed pony from the alleyway at the talent show.

“VINYL CREATURE!!!!!!”

“Gold-OH CRAP! BLONDIE’S GONE MENTAL!”

“GATE OF BABYLON!!!”

The folly of attempting to use a noble phantasm at such a depleted state occurred to Gilgamesh only a few days later, during his period of recovery in the Ponyville hospital. For the moment however, all that that golden king was able to comprehend was his great rage, followed by a titanic drain of prana at the center of his corporeal being and finally a veil of darkness that obscured the world and send him once more into a dreamless slumber.

“Ok, now, why don’t we go over this one last time?”

Gilgamesh resisted the urge to growl. It had been over three hours since he had awoken from his second utterly embarrassing display of unconsciousness to find himself in, what he now knew to be, a hospital in the magical land of ponies…gods did that sound stupid.

When Gilgamesh had first returned to land of the waking, he had found himself tacked tightly beneath a lavender scented covers of an, admittedly, comfortable bed. At first, the King of Heroes was confused. Where was he and why was he taken there? It had taken a few minutes of shaking off a sluggish sense of lethargy that clouded his mind and senses, but soon the Golden King had managed to take full stock of his surroundings. It was the sight of the dully white-painted walls and tell-tale scent of anti-septic, that had led him to deduce that he had been in a hospital at the time and a weird hospital at that.

While Gilgamesh had only heard of modern day health care systems, mainly through the information that the Grail had supplied him upon his summoning and mostly since he had never the need to ever attend one himself, he was pretty sure that such establishments tended to have complex modern machinery such as electrocardiograms and IVs attached to their patients. This one barely seemed to have electronic lighting. The situation had proceeded to confound him for a few minutes. By then, the King of Heroes had decided that it was time to get up and force the first person unfortunate enough to cross his path to explain his current situation or face death by a thousand blades. However, as he attempted to grab and throw the freshly washed sheets off his form, a sudden sense of wrongness and peculiarity forced the former king of Uruk to turn and take stock of his hands, more accurately, his lack of them.

The inevitable commotion that followed had brought nearly every the doctor and nurse manning the hospital charging into his room, armed with dozens of milligrams of sedatives, which, fortunately for their own sake, they didn’t even get the chance to try their luck and attempt to use it. The sheer ridiculousness of the tiny pony doctors, stethoscopes and all alone had shocked the god king silent. A rather impressive feat, if he could say so himself.

As expected, the doctors begun to insistently bombard the King of Heroes with an endless stream of pointless questions, such as what was his name, where was he was from if he had any family or hereditary diseases, why he tried to skewer a poor innocent pony earlier that day, and so on. Bah! Annoying! For the first few minutes, Gilgamesh was more than content to ignore them entirely. By the end of the first half an hour, however, he just wanted to stab them, but since it was that very action that had gotten him in his current situation in the first place, he just tried to get up and walk away. Finding himself unable to do that after head-butting the floor a few couple of times, he decided to ignore them some more.

It was around the second hour that Gilgamesh finally cracked.

After taking a few moments to calm him down, he and the doctors had gotten a nice little conversation going, which basically involved him demanding answers under the threat of snapping their necks and them begging for any sort explanation for his circumstances. So far, what Gilgamesh had learned was that he was currently in some sort of country or kingdom which was ridiculously referred to as Equestria. It was a land where appallingly cheerful enchanted ponies lived nauseatingly happy and peaceful lives under the rule of some sort of princess...something or the other, whose policies Gilgamesh utterly spurn.

After taking a full fifteen minutes to argue that there was no pony in recorded history, myth or legend that looked or sounded like the overly saccharine creatures that surrounded him, something to which the doctors had just responded to with the very same this-guy-is-insane look he had gotten so sick of seeing in the last few hours, Gilgamesh started seeing the big picture regarding his situation. On the plus side, if the words of these…ponies, ugh…were to be trusted, which was probably the case seeing as they were hideously unable to utter even a single convincing lie, then this pretty much confirmed Gilgamesh’s theory of finding himself lost in an alternate dimension. A pretty positive fact, considering that it also validated his theory on regaining his human form, but it still paled whiter than this hospital’s walls in the face of the much more horrifying negatives. Namely, that he was stuck in a world resembling some four-year old girl’s wet dream and more accurately, Gilgamesh’s worst nightmare.

How was a person like Gilgamesh, whose very idea of social activity was corrupting others by drawing out the foulest dredges of their personalities and watching from the distance as they self-destructed, supposed to find even a shred of entertainment in this world? Well, he supposed, all the more reason to find a way back to Fuyuki as soon as possible. After all, he had a Saber to claim and a Faker or two to mutilate. He couldn’t waste time here.

If that was all that transpired the last few hours, Gilgamesh would have been generally content with how this whole ‘getting shamefully hospitalized against his will’ thing had turned out. But no, the doctors just HAD to insist that he answered a few questions on his part. While the King of Heroes had no real inclination to indulge them, he fully recognized that by giving them a few things to contemplate, he would be saving himself from a great deal of unwanted pestering in the near future. An assumption that had ended up back-firing in such an astoundingly

dreadful and agonizing manner, that the God King had seriously contemplated that he was suffering from some sort of crippling brain damage to even think that it had been a good idea at the time.

He had not even finished uttering his glorious and magnificent name and rightfully earned titles when the doctors had exchanged a very, very telling and familiar look between them. A few minutes of unbridled rage, insults and death threats later, the doctors, which by then were looking incredibly disturbed and more than a little mentally scared, much to Gilgamesh’s evident pleasure, filed out of the room in a stunned silence.

And then, as the insufferable highlight of an already insufferable day, this joker showed up.

Everyone in this village would pay for this indignity! Just who was the lowlife peasant dog who had the balls to assign a shrink to Gilgamesh, the King of Heroes?!

“Uh, hello? Mister Gallopgamesh? Is everything ok? You were spacing out…again. Don’t tell me you’re trying to ignore me. That would make me very sad.”

Unbeknownst to the Hero of Heroes, the young aqua blue colt that now had the honor to sit before the golden king’s bed was none other than Doctor Rational Puzzle. A widely acclaimed psychologist infamous for being one of the youngest ponies to ever graduate from Canterlot’s Royal Academy of Sciences. While serious mental illnesses were extremely scarce amongst the ponies of Equestria, Dr. Puzzle’s incredible fame and renowned skill had given him the great opportunity to participate in some of the most mindboggling cases one could possibly find in his line of work.

For example, here he was in Ponyville, visiting his aunt Radiant Puzzle for the weekend and before he had taken even ten steps inside his hotel room to try and sleep off the wonderful apple and dandelion dinner his aunt had prepared, a letter had been dispatched to him from the local hospital, asking for his help in handling some unusual patient, not that Puzzle could really complain. He was just one of those people that really, really loved their job. He didn’t know why, but if someone asked him, all he could say was that there was just something magical about

working along with troubled ponies and, together, solving their individual problems. One could find peace in helping others, especially disturbed and complex ponies like this one. Puzzle swiftly looked over his note pad going over the information he had compiled on his new charge.

Let’s see: male unicorn, around twenty-four, average size, extremely fit and athletically-built yet finds himself unable to stand, caused quite a spectacle in the talent show earlier that day. Witnesses claimed he had appeared out of nowhere and spontaneously started declaring his undying love towards a local small town celebrity, one Twilight Sparkle. The name sounded oddly familiar to Puzzle’s ears. While claiming to be the main character from an ancient epic, though, he kept getting the name wrong for some reason. At some point he had even summoned and thrown a sword at some poor, random pony before inexplicably fainting. Also, as he had found out himself during the last twenty minutes, the patient had a tendency to swear a lot and threaten others. Poor guy. What happened, Puzzle wondered, to instill such anger in him?

“For the love of…stop butchering my god-given name, you quack!” And here he went again.

“Ah! Right, right! It was ‘Gilgamesh’, wasn’t it? Once more, I’m terribly sorry. However, it would make it much easier if you just let me call you Gil.”

“I shall devour your very soul!” Well…that was new...and not disturbing in the slightest.

“Now, now! Calm down. Anger and violence never solved anything.” Dr. Puzzle promptly tried to ignore the malignant and disagreeing look of protest that his newest patient seemed to respond to that particular statement with. “Why don’t we just talk this over like the polite and civilized ponies we are? I’m sure we’ll be able get to the bottom of this in no time.”

For his part, Gilgamesh was currently contemplating how he would have sung praises to the heavens he once cursed if they just gave him the prana to turn the good doctor to horse-meat shih-kebab right then and there. As things were, he just settled with glaring at him...HARD.

“Ahahaha…ha….ha. Yes…Ahem.” Doctor Puzzle nervously tugged at formal white collar and black tie. A collar that in Gilgamesh’s eyes

peculiarly lacked the white shirt that would normally be attached with it. “So…Where were we? Ah, yes, now, Mister Gilgamesh, I’m going to ask you a few questions, and I want you to answer them as sincerely as possible. No need to feel ashamed if a question seems awkward for you. Just let it aaaalllll out on your good friend, Dr. Puzzle.”

All he got in response was a series of unintelligible snarls.

“…Riiiight…Anyway, as I was saying. Mr. Gilgamesh. You seem to have quite the fascination with a very old legend. Do you believe that there is a connection between you and the hero of this particular epic? I mean, I fully understand it if you do, after all, even your names are similar-Gilgamesh...Gallopgamesh. So, if I may be so bold, why does a wonderful pony like you feel the need to impersonate a fabled ancient king of Sumareia?”

Aaaaand, there it was, Gilgamesh thought right then.

The King of Heroes officially snapped.

“You insignificant, moronic, utterly incompetent piece of sludge! I should cripple you and feed you to the Gods damn worms but even that would be too merciful in the face of your insistent idiocy and disrespect! I am GILGAMESH, mongrel! You should grovel on the ground with worship and fear before my form! I am the first heroic spirit to ever sit in the throne of heroes! Do I have to beat the facts along with your very skull before they finally register to your brain?!?” The god king roared. His mighty voice resounded throughout the halls of the small-town hospital.

The psychiatrist instantly recoiled. Although he knew full well, from previous experience even, that his patient was, for some reason, unable to get up and walk close enough to cause him physical harm, the sheer bloodlust, hate and rage that simply oozed out of every single fiber of Gilgamesh’s presence during this particular outburst send Dr. Puzzle hurling backwards. Soon the azure colt found himself flattened against the far wall of the room and for the first time during one of his sessions shaking with terror. In all his years as a doctor, despite experiencing some of the rarer and more serious cases found in Equestria, he could have never imagined that a single pony, no matter how insane, would be able to exhibit such sheer, pure, unadulterated hate against another of his kind. It was just not natural for them, especially over a few spoken words. This...this was something far beyond simple mental illness! He wasn’t just some

victim of circumstance! There was just too much hate radiating out of him for that! What was wrong with this guy?!?

“I will repeat this once, and only once. So turn on those useless flops of skin glued to your head which you call ears and listen! I am NOT one of your disgusting kind. I have NEVER been one and I will NEVER be one, not in a previous life, not in this life, and not in any of my potential future lives! I am the heroic spirit Gilgamesh! A perfect crystallization of the legend itself brought back from the dead and summoned as a servant by those sad excuses for mages in Fuyuki City to participate into their particularly meaningless little magical ritualistic war.” He bellowed, before taking a brief pause. He briefly took a much needed breather and continued his tirade, his voice now quiet and threatening.

“I’ve crushed dozens of worthless so-called bastard heroes and dead legends, all summoned like I was, just to win some useless, corrupted, and supposedly wish-granting magical artifact. The very one that ended up eating me up, imploding in my face, and sending me to this god forsaken world. So, for the last time, I am not a god damn beast of burden like you and your peers. I am Gilgamesh, the King of Heroes, and if you do not show me the proper amount of respect, even hell will seem like heaven by the time you get there.” He hissed, after which he once proceeded to simply GLARE at the paper-white, trebling mass that now was Dr. Puzzle. “Do you at least understand that much, you mongrel worm?”

The poor psychiatrist closely resembled a fish as he hastily tried to articulate a proper response. Unfortunately, overpowering fear stood between him and the appropriate brain functions. Even laying on his bed and crippled, over three meters away, it was as if the golden unicorn was towering menacingly over him. Mildly satisfied at the sight, Gilgamesh proceeded to push just a bit further.

“Consider yourself lucky that I am too drained to punish you right here and now, but as things stand, I will replenish a good chunk of my power in a few days. If you want to stave off my wrath, you will do as I say.” Faced against Gilgamesh’s overwhelming aura and supernatural charisma, all that the doctor could do in response, was nod numbly. “When you get out of this room, you will tell everyone that I am of sound mind. You will tell them that I am indeed a king, and they should act accordingly. You will tell them to serve and aid me until I have completely recovered and assert dominance over this new wretched body of mine.

Do so and you will live. Tell anyone of what transpired in this room, and you will die. From this day on, never cross my sight again.”

The god-king looked down upon him and, for a moment, all Dr. Puzzle could do was stare back in silent wonder and horrified submission.

“Go,” Gilgamesh stated. A few days from now, when the King of Heroes would be strong enough to walk under his own power, he would find himself happy to be assured that the blue colt had followed his each and every command to the letter. For, from the moment Dr. Puzzle bolted out of the door of that small hospital room, neither Gilgamesh nor anyone in Ponyville ever saw or heard of the good doctor ever again.

“Hello, is anyone in? Mister Gil, are you awake?” Ditzy Doo said while peeking into Gilgamesh’s room. “The nurse at the reception said it was ok. So, can I come in?”

“You are free to enter,” said Gilgamesh, who was reclining back on his hospital bed. “I allow it.”

“Thanks! Just came to see if you were alright. It just didn’t feel right to just bring you here and leave you without a word yesterday but, see, I had to take Dinky home and by then it was getting dark outside and-”

“Calm yourself, Ditzy. Your actions, although bothersome at first, ended up being beneficial to me.”

“Really? Well, that awesome! And…wait…how do you know my name? Not that I mind or anything, but I don’t remember introducing myself to you, which now that I think about it, wasn’t really the most polite thing I could have done.”

“You signed it on the admittance form when you brought me in. I ordered the doctors to deliver it to me out of curiosity.”

“I did? Oh, oh yeah, I did.”

“Never mind that! I have something to ask you.”

“Uhh…sure. What is it?”

“Do you know if there are any houses for sale in this mongrel village?”

Chapter 2/End

Ok, so, I’ve been giving clues us to the background story of Fate throughout the last two chapters. True, they’re a bit interspaced and subtle…or maybe not…but you guys should be able to puzzle together the general situation by now. I’ll try and give some further background bits next chapter as well, but if still have problems with what’s going on. Here’s a link as to where you can find an OOC summary and more if you’re interested: http:--typemoon.wikia.com-wiki-Fate-stay_night (Just change the – with /)

Also, since Gilgamesh is devoid of prana and a master as it is, some of his stats have dangerously decreased. In fact, all his basic stats are currently at rank E. For a full update of his stats, please wait until the next chapter. (Its four oclock in the morning right now.)