crimefull equestria

has anypony heard the phrase " no matter where you go, there will be crime?" in all cases that is true. now you might be skeptical about this but trust me it's true. but not that many people notice it. in equestria people (or ponies i should say) sure as HELL don't notice it! fuck, there might be a pink pony that kills her best friend and cooks said friend into a cupcake! but i'm off track. so today ladies and gentlecolts, is a story of how me, lightning wave, and my twit friend, dim mill, become agents and take down equestria's most wanted. a couple months ago me and dim mill moved into ponyville, let me spare you the details...bla bla bla bug-bear attack bla bla bla now! one day in like august or something, me and my bruh got a phone call, from the ponyville sheriff. the sheriff told me that the leader of the UAE (United Agents of Equestria) wanted me and dim. and like anypony in this situation i ask "why? and why me and dumbass sitting on the couch eating Doritos reading marevel comics?" "just get your asses over here." replied the sheriff.

before i asked why again he hung up, me thinking that this must be important, i told dim to get off his lazy ass looking at porn and marevel and one we went. it was a long walk to the HQ of the UAE but within two hours and a restroom break we made it. we looked at the building wounding what a waits us within in side. we walked through the main door ways the through the main hallway. "damn, who runs this place? Stephen king?" dim said as we walked through the hallway with portraits of who i presume is the main guy's relatives. we saw his office in wondering excitement of what this guy wants. as we entered i heard the general i guess say "ah ,lightning, dim, please sit down." before we could ask how he knew our names, an urge came to us shut the fuck up and listen to what he has to say. "okay so the reson why i called you two here is that, we all know equestria is filled to the brim with dangerous criminals right? thought so, anyways as you have might of noticed, our system of agents is praticaly empty as most of our agents where either fired or retierd. and i was thinking if you two will take the jobs as your new agents...you have eight seconds to respond." he said to us, and scense we had eight seconds i was the first to respond. "YES WE WOULD KINDLY TAKE THE JOB!" i yelled as quick and as loudly as i can. "alrighty then! here are your badges and paper work with only one pice of paper each." we signed the paper work and retrived our badges. and so with that we are now getting started with our jobs as agents for the UAE.