I'm Sorry

by Electric Aura

Rating: mature
Tags: Sad, Tragedy, Dark
Length: 1043

A stallion can only take so much, when she's a mare who will never be herself.

A stallion can only take so much, when she's a mare who will never be herself.

I wrote this in about an hour, with nearly no sleep, and poor editing. I was in a bad place, and needed to express it. THIS CONTAINS DARK THEMES, SPECIFICALLY SUICIDE AND TRANSGENDER ISSUES.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-28 21:10:12 UTC

Dear Loved Ones

Dear pony who finds this letter first,

I'm sorry you had to find me this way,

I'm sorry for what you had to see. I only hope you aren't affected by this to badly. If you could pass the following messages on to the right ponies, I would appreciate it.

Thank you.

*******

Dear Mom and Dad,

            I'm sorry, I'm sorry I couldn't be the son you hoped for, and I love you both so much. This is not your fault, this is nopony’s fault, I was born broken, and fixing me is not happening. I love you both, I really do, and I'm sorry I have to put you through this for my own selfish reasons. You raised me well, and you did the best anypony could ask for, you made my life wonderful.

    I will always love you both,

                   Your daughter,

     Electric Aura

*******

Dear Friends,

I'm sorry I wasn't there for you near the

end, I'm sorry I've been distant. You all mean so much to me, you've done so much to try and help, and I love you all for that… I'm sorry this is the thanks you will get, but I do love and appreciate you for what you did. I know you'll move on, you're strong, and I know you'll have good lives.

Thank you for being my friend,

Electric Aura

*******

Dear Fang,

I love you so much, you've made the

last year absolutely wonderful. I'm sorry to leave you like this, so suddenly. I'm no mare, and I'm never going to be, you made me feel like one though. I'll always treasure our time together, it was magical. You'll move on, you'll find a better mare, a real mare, and I know you'll be happy. You're a wonderful stallion, and you'll make a mare very happy. I love you, and I always will, I'll never forget you.

       Love,

Your marefriend,

Electric Aura

*******

I love you all, and you mean so much to me, I'm sorry I'm being so selfish, but I can't go on living like this. This life is torture, and it won't end, maybe now the pain will be gone, maybe I'll be okay. I will miss each and every single one of you, and I'm so honored to have been able to be a part of your lives, and you a part of mine.

Goodbye.

I'm Sorry

There was a soft drip, a tear hitting the paper with a ‘pap.’ Aura looked up, crying softly, and retaped the note shut. She flew up to the rope and hook again, this time tying a noose. She stared at it for a moment before landing, her body shaking slightly.

Aura sniffled, and picked the note up, taping it to her chest. One last time she flew up to the noose, and slipped it over her head. Her wings gave one last flap before they folded, and she let out a sob. She dropped, her weight, pulling her down without any lift from her wings.

Aura's sobbing suddenly stopped, her body jerking to a stop at the end of the rope with a loud crack. She hung from the rope, body swinging slightly, note still attached to her chest. A single, final tear dripped off her muzzle, and hit the floor with a soft ‘plip.’

A Bright New Day

Ponyville was bright and sunny, as it was most days, weather pegasi keeping the clouds from blocking Celestia’s warm sunlight. Ponies went on about their business, the world turned as it always had, it was another day.

Leaving the hardware store was a purple stallion, saddlebags containing whatever he had bought. His eyes had dark bags from restless nights. Nopony noticed, and he didn't try to be noticed, instead nodding and smiling to passing ponies.

His long, thick mane was slightly messy, feathers slightly misaligned, he was a mess, but only to

those who cared to check. Once in an open space, he flapped his wings, rising in the air, and disappearing into the sky.

Soon enough, the stallion was home, hooves touching down on the clouds that made his home. He checked his mailbox, removing a few letters, all were addressed to Electric Pulse.

“Hmph.” Pulse scoffed, and tossed the mail into the air, letting the currents carry them away. He watched for a moment, before turning and entering the house, making sure to lock the door behind him.

The cloud home was dark, a bit cold, and smelled oddly feminine even with it's sole male resident. All the curtains were closed, only a little light filtering in. Pulse ignored the house, trotting up the stairs to his room, keeping his saddlebags on him.

Upstairs, Pulse opened the door to his room, which was just as dark as the rest of the house. He gently placed the saddlebags on his neatly made bed, and flicked the bathroom lights on as he entered it. Pulse turned the shower on, looking at his reflection while the water warmed.

A few strands of his blue and orange mane hung down, and he brushed them aside. Steam began filling the room, fogging his reflection. Pulse stepped into the shower, letting the water beat down on him for a few minutes before beginning to bathe.

Ten minutes later, he was clean, and toweling himself dry. Wet mane stuck to his face and neck, tail hanging down from the water weight. He made sure he was dried off, and hung the towel to dry, making sure it looked neat and tidy.

Back in his room, Pulse looked up at the ceiling for a moment. A folded piece of paper on the desk was taped shut, and he picked it up, placing it on the bed. He opened the saddlebags, and pulled out his only purchase before putting the bags in the closet.

A coil of rope laid on the bed with the paper. Pulse unpackaged the rope, uncoiling it before flying up, and tying one end to a hook in the ceiling. The simple rope hung down from the hook, and Pulse left it that way, picking the paper up, and carefully untaping it to check what he had written inside.