How It Got in My Pajamas, I Don't Know
Ditzy Doo awoke, stretched, and looked around her room. A loaded bookshelf, stacks of trading cards on her dresser, a few dozen bottles of bubble soap arrayed on her desk, everything was as it should be. She smiled. "Good, the world hasn't ended yet." According to the e-mail Pinkie Pie had sent last night, that was a legitimate concern. Ditzy double-checked her phone, just so see if the message had gotten any less insane overnight.
Hi everybody!
If you're reading this, it's because you can pony up. Please, please, please don't do the thing that gives you ears for the next day or two. I know, it sucks, but we're kind of having a teeny-weeny problem with too much magic in the world right now. You ponying up is destroying the universe a tiny little bit. And now you can probably tell why I didn't post this on MyStable, where everyone could see it.
Just give us until the end of Wednesday, everyone. The Rainbooms are on the case!
Your friend,
Pinkie Pie
Nope. Still crazy. Obviously true, given how Ditzy herself could sprout wings by winning collectible card games, but that didn't make it any more sane. Still, another day of Spring Break had successfully dawned, and if everyone on the planet with actual magical experience was already working on the problem, then Ditzy could keep herself away from the collectible cardboard through tomorrow. Her best option was to hope for the best, since the worst seemed too horrible to prepare for.
With that decision made, Ditzy got out of bed to start her day in earnest. Naturally, that was when the vision of a luminous, angelic Sunset Shimmer appeared before her.
Even after hitting the carpeting face first, Ditzy literally couldn't help but listen as Sunset explained how she was about to reformat the cosmos. However, the shifting colors that overlaid the other girl kept drawing some of Ditzy's attention, swirling around like a psychedelic oil slick, seeming to move in a pattern just on the edge of comprehension. The vision ended, but the colors stayed, leaking through the bedroom's windows. Ditzy got herself to her feet just in time to see a rainbow shockwave approach from the direction of Canterlot High. The pulse passed through the wall, but slammed into her.
It was like walking into a hurricane, or more accurately, a hurricane walking into her. The back of Ditzy's neck burned, lengths of silvery energy emerged on the edges of her vision, and the gale-force winds of change sent her sailing in a direction with no name, everything she had ever known receding into the distance.
Probability space, the collected sum of all possible Equestrias, can be thought of as an enormous cable formed from countless hair-thin fibers. Each fiber is a worldline, a single way that that magical land can turn out. A more accurate model would be a fraying rope that wasn't especially well-made to begin with, since Equestrian probability space is highly porous. All manner of things slip into it, out of it, and between the worlds that compose it far more often than anyone wants to admit.
Fortunately, as it does in many other cases of delicate balance, life helps maintain the polycosmic equilibrium. Ponies have a hoof in it, as they usually do, but they aren't the only aides. When the land is bathed in alien energies, it forms strange and disturbing locales like the Everfree Forest, which then contain those energies within themselves
Nowhere is this more evident than with spontaneous human dimensional transit, one of the most dramatic incursions short of an entire worldline colliding with some unsuspecting planet. Humans are drawn to the Everfree in the same way that water goes down a drain, and true to form, nature has developed a way to exploit this in the manticore. To ponies, the manticore is just another apex predator. However, the chimeric creatures fill a vital niche in maintaining dimensional stability, eliminating roughly ninety percent of human incursions before they can do something everyone will regret.
In one instance of the Everfree, a manticore perked up, feeling something approach through whiskers that extended a bit past conventional spacetime. She followed the vibrations like a spider on its web, stalking through the Everfree's undergrowth towards the point where the succulent balding ape would emerge. She crouched, ready to reveal herself in all of her bat-winged, scorpion-tailed glory and feast on her prey while it was still trying to process her existence.
It would've worked had Ditzy Doo not entered that world at about thirty miles per hour.
What actually happened was a complex collision that sent Ditzy flying back out of the universe and the manticore walking away as haughtily as she could with a bruised nose, deciding in true feline fashion to pretend that the whole incident had never taken place.
Ditzy didn't have that option, ricocheting off of trees, rocks, and other unfortunate wildlife, all of them in the Everfree but no two in the same timeline. Finally, her momentum bled off and she tumbled to a stop on the edge of the forest, with a vague feeling that it had spat her out in disgust. To her amazement, she didn't actually hurt after the debacle. She was more disoriented than anything despite how, from what she'd been able to see of what she'd hit, she should've broken nearly every bone in her body. As it was, her worst affliction was her vision swimming, and that happened if she moved her head too fast.
Ditzy pushed herself into a sitting position and pulled leaves and bits of twig out of her hair as she waited for the world to stop spinning. As she did, she turned her head—slowly—to get a better look at one of the lengths of silvery light that had been in her peripheral vision through the whole ordeal. A bow curve of energy stretched out behind her shoulder, extending more than a foot past it. The shape seemed to lead to the back of Ditzy's neck. She put a hand there and flinched as she got a potent static jolt. The silver light winked out.
"Okay. So. That happened." Ditzy blinked a few times as she turned her attention back to her surroundings. She was on the edge of a forest. All she had were a thigh-length T-shirt, plaid pajama pants, and her wits. A cross between a cottage and a very large shrub sat by a nearby creek, indicating some kind of civilization.
Ditzy sat still, her thoughts racing. She was on an adventure. She was hopelessly lost. She might have just planeswalked. She might never see her family again. This was incredible. This was terrifying.
"Hello?"
"AH!" Ditzy fell onto her back as the word shook her out of her near-fugue.
"Eep!"
There was no mistaking that eep. "Fluttershy?"
"Oh. Um, hello there, strange creature. Who can speak Equish. And knows my name." Fluttershy grew quieter with every sentence.
"Fluttershy, we've known each other since the second grade." Ditzy sat back up, then blinked at the winged horse now at eye level with her. "Okay, I've known a Fluttershy since the second grade."
The equine Fluttershy tilted her head as she considered this, then gasped. "You're a human!" She squinted. "Is that you, Derpy Hooves?"
Ditzy gritted her teeth, biting back her first retort. "Ditzy Doo."
"Oh!" Fluttershy ducked her head, letting her mane fall over her face. "I'm sorry, I thought her mane was purple."
"That's my cousin Spritzy. At least, it is in my world. I guess the parallels aren't perfect. Beyond the obvious, I mean." Ditzy took a deep breath. "So, I take it humans aren't exactly common here?"
"Nopony had ever heard of them before Twilight went through the mirror. She's only ever shown us photos. I didn't think I'd ever get to see a human for myself." Fluttershy circled Ditzy as she spoke. "Oh, this is just so fascinating! How did you get here? Can all humans do that? Does it have something to do with the down on your crest?"
"The what on my what?"
"Oh my. Is that not normal?" Fluttershy said from behind Ditzy. "It's right here." A gentle touch against the back of Ditzy's neck felt oddly muted. "Does that hurt?"
Ditzy's hands shook as she felt the area. A patch of fluff stretched from the level of her earlobes down to her shoulders. "That is very definitely not normal." Sunset Shimmer's speech came to mind. "At least, it wasn't before."
Fluttershy went back to in front of Ditzy, eyes filled with concern. "Are you going to be alright?"
"Yes. Probably." Maybe. Ditzy swallowed against the developing lump in her throat. "Do you think Twilight would know anything about this?"
Fluttershy nodded. "If anypony would, she would."
"Great." Ditzy hopped up to her feet, then kept hopping.
After a few tries, Fluttershy said, "Um, what are you doing?"
"I've grown wings before, and if I'm right, I just need to figure out how to—" Ditzy felt something click in her mind, and her wings spread at a hop's peak, leaving her dangling by the curving energy for a few moments before she composed herself. "Okay then."
"Oh." Fluttershy paused for a moment, staring at the floating girl. "Well... flying would certainly help if you're really in a hurry."
"It'd be nice to get home before my parents file a missing persons report." Ditzy rose a few feet. She didn't need to flap and wasn't sure if she even could. She just thought upward and rose. "Are you coming?" she asked, looking down at Fluttershy. "It's not like I know my way around here."
Fluttershy gave her a blank look that spoke of many comments she was too polite to say aloud. "It's the giant crystal castle on the edge of town. You can't miss it."
"Oh." Ditzy cleared her throat. "Well. Thank you. Sure you don't want to come?"
Fluttershy shook her head. "If you're flying there, I'd only slow you down."
"I've never actually flown before today." Ditzy squinted at the horizon. Even when she was level with the cottage's roof, she could only make out what might be a bit of glimmering crystal over the treetops. "Also, I'm still not sure which way to go." She leaned forward, trying to head away from the forest.
The world folded up around Ditzy faster than she could react, the landscape curling in on itself like a flower blooming in reverse. By the time she stopped herself, she was hovering in a dark expanse. The points of light in the distance made it seem like space, but the closer ones clearly weren't stars. They were more like pearls or soap bubbles, orbs of light and color. Each one shifted with vague, blurred motion beneath the surface. Strangely, most of them had crystalline treelike structures emerging from their tops, branches spread into the interstice. The spheres spread out before Ditzy, evenly spaced, twinkling with possibility.
"Whoa." The sound quickly faded in the expansive void. Ditzy looked behind her. That proved to be a mistake. Moving her head sent the orbs around her wheeling in strange, nauseating ways, directions her eyes couldn't track. Many shifted in or out of visibility. Even the pseudostellar backdrop swirled with her motions.
Ditzy swallowed against her rebelling stomach, shut her eyes, and tried to go back the way she came. Humidity on her skin and sounds beyond her own heartbeat told her she'd succeeded. However, a major part of the sound was a leonine growl. Ditzy scowled as she opened her eyes, finding herself back in the forest, hovering a few inches over the ground and face to face with a snarling manticore.
After a beat where the manticore didn't pounce, Ditzy put her hands on her hips and said, "Could we not? I just witnessed infinity, and I'm pretty sure I've already done this bit besides. You don't impress me. I just want to get back to Fluttershy."
The manticore blinked and eased out of its crouch. It slunk up to Ditzy and snuffled her. She held herself as still as she could as it did so. It was one thing to act the jaded adventurer. It was quite another to be a few inches from a fantasy monster's fangs.
Finally, the creature nodded and walked away. After a few steps, it looked back and tossed its head in the direction it was headed.
"Oh! Sorry." Ditzy followed, keeping her gaze focused on the manticore's back and her toes just above the litter-laden forest floor. "I can't believe that worked," she muttered.
After a few minutes, they emerged from the forest and in front of a familiar cottage. The manticore roared, a booming sound that sent creatures scattering and grabbed Ditzy by the midbrain. She didn't even notice she'd stopped flying until she hit the ground butt-first.
The shock of landing was enough to make Ditzy notice a pink-and-yellow streak zipping back and forth about the area, briefly resolving itself as Fluttershy soothing some animal or another. Finally, the pegasus approached the manticore, frowning like a disapproving mother. "Now, Manny, you know better than to startle the rest of my friends like that."
The manticore—Manny, apparently—looked away and growled deferentially.
"Then you should've looked for me, or asked someone where I was."
Manny gave further plaintive growls, flicking a bat wing in Ditzy's general direction.
Fluttershy looked at her and gasped. "Oh my goodness!"
Ditzy gave a sheepish grin and waved. "Um, hi."
"Hello," Fluttershy said with no small amount of awe. Her gaze flicked back to Manny, to whom she nodded. "Thank you for bringing her to me."
The manticore returned the nod and sauntered back into the forest.
"He said you smelled enough like pegasus that I probably knew you. Are you a human?"
Ditzy nodded. "I don't suppose you recognize me?"
Fluttershy looked over Ditzy, then shook her head. "I've never seen a human in person before."
"Only the photos Twilight showed you?"
Fluttershy's mouth fell open. She nodded. "Yes! How did you know?"
"You aren't the first Fluttershy I've talked to this morning. I tried to go to Twilight's castle with one, but..." Ditzy shook her head. "Something went wrong."
That got Fluttershy looking at the bubbles on the girl's shirt. "Muffins?"
Ditzy took a few moments to try to process this. "Um, if you're offering some, sure. I haven't had breakfast yet."
"No, I mean, are you Muffins?"
Another few moments passed before Ditzy said, "If you mean that as a name, mine is Ditzy Doo. Do you mean a lazy-eyed blonde pegasus?"
Fluttershy nodded.
Ditzy returned the nod, sighing as she did so. "At least it won't be confusing if we run into one another. Could you take me to Twilight's castle? She's probably the best bet for sorting this out."
Fluttershy looked around the area. "Well, I did get everyone settled ahead of schedule just now. Follow me."
The two spent the walk to Ponyville talking, mostly Ditzy answering Fluttershy's questions. The pegasus was fascinated by a species she'd never encountered. Ditzy was just glad she'd paid attention in biology.
"Really? Your ears?" said Fluttershy as they approached the town proper.
"I'm pretty sure toes also play a role somehow, but yeah, balance is mostly a matter of fluid-filled bits of the inner ears."
"I never would've guessed. I just thought it was some kind of human magic."
"I don't think I had any before yesterday." Ditzy frowned. "Actually, is surviving crashes a pegasus thing?"
Fluttershy nodded. "A flying pegasus can withstand all sorts of nasty impacts, and Muffins can walk away from crashes that would send even Rainbow Dash to the hospital for a few days."
Ditzy considered one of the stains on her shirt. "Well, that would explain why I'm still up and walking."
After a few moments of comfortable silence, Fluttershy said. "So, I couldn't help but notice that your—"
"It's a mutant minotaur!"
Ditzy and Fluttershy both looked at the source of the shout, a flower shop where three mares were gawking in horror at the girl.
"It's a baby troll!" said another of them.
"Who cares what it is?" cried the third. "Run for your lives!"
Other ponies watched, bemused, as the mares fled. Fluttershy frowned and turned to Ditzy. "I am so sorry. They—"
Ditzy held up her hands. "It's okay, really." She smiled. "It's actually kind of comforting to know that the Gardening Club is a multiversal constant."
Fluttershy giggled. "So, as I was saying—"
"Hey, everything okay over here?"
Ditzy smiled. There was another voice she recognized. As she looked to the sky, she said, "Everything's just fine, Rainbow Dash."
"Yeah?" The little blue horse went nose-to-muzzle with her. "And who are you supposed to... be?" Dash's position meant she was also eye-to-eye with Ditzy, as much as anyone could be. "No. No way."
"Wish I had a camera," said Ditzy. "Rainbow's never going to believe how cute her pony self is."
Dash backed away, head in her hooves. "I... Muffins... cute..." She shook her head. "This is gonna lead to some kind of giant human destroying half of the town, isn't it?"
"We're going to see if Twilight can help," said Fluttershy.
"Yeah. Good idea. You go do that. And make sure she doesn't sit on anything. I'll, uh, I'll go tell Twilight you're coming." Dash zipped off toward a huge crystalline tree, leaving a rainbow in her wake.
"Huh." Ditzy frowned. "Well, I feel vaguely insulted." She looked around and waved. "Thank you all for not panicking, by the way!"
"You seem harmless enough," said a mare who appeared to be pony Bonbon. Others nodded.
"A town on the edge of the Everfree Forest has more than its share of strange and unusual creatures," said Fluttershy as they continued onward. "Now, about my earlier question—"
Twilight was waiting for them outside of her castle. "Wow. I didn't think Rainbow was kidding, but it's still weird to see a human in Ponyville."
"Imagine how weird it is to be a human in..." Ditzy quirked an eyebrow. "'Ponyville'? Seriously?"
Twilight gave her a flat look as she opened the castle's doors and led them in. "I checked. Your world has a town called Humansville."
"Huh. Well then." Ditzy cleared her throat and looked around. "Very nice place you've got here. How'd you get it?"
"We vanquished an ancient magic-draining centaur, but not before he slaughtered countless innocents."
Ditzy paled. "Oh. Oh goodness. I'm so sorry."
Twilight took a deep breath and kept facing forward. "Thank you."
Fluttershy hovered close to Ditzy's ear and whispered, "She means books. He blew up her old house, which was the town's library."
After a beat, Ditzy said, "You know, I still kind of understand where she's coming from."
Nothing else was said until they reached the room with the mirror portal. "This should be an easy fix," said Twilight. "We can fire up the portal and get you back home in a matter of minutes."
"I don't think that's a good idea," said Ditzy.
Twilight gave her a self-assured smile. "With all due respect, Muffins, you aren't the one who's studied magic for most of her life."
Fluttershy sidled up to her. "Um, Twilight? She isn't Muffins."
"What!?" Twilight gawked at Ditzy before turning back to Fluttershy and pointing a hoof at the girl. "But... but the hair! The skin tone! The, the..."
Ditzy crossed her arms. "The eyes?"
"I was going to say the bubbles," said Twilight, apparently fascinated by one of the devices attached to the portal.
"Sure you were. I am the person you're thinking of, but my name is Ditzy Doo. I'm pretty sure your portal doesn't connect to my home."
Twilight mulled this over for a bit. "That's... theoretically possible, yes."
"Also, I'm fairly certain humans in that world can't do this." Ditzy spread her wings and rose a few inches, very, very carefully.
Twilight's jaw dropped. "That... That doesn't make any..." She spread her own wings, ignited her horn, and began orbiting Ditzy. "How are you doing this? Those are projections of concentrated pegasus magic! That just doesn't happen! Are those feathers on the back of your neck?"
"Our world has been having some... issues lately."
Twilight brought herself into the same nose-to-muzzle position Rainbow Dash had adopted earlier. "Define. Issues."
Ditzy gulped. That horn was still glowing. She could feel the heat coming off of it. "I don't know if it works the same way in the human world you know, but in ours, the pony magic kept growing and growing until it threatened to destroy the universe." She held up her hands and drifted a step back. "But! Sunset Shimmer fixed it earlier this morning. Somehow. And that's how I can do what I do."
"I... see." Twilight landed and doused her horn.
"Great." Ditzy brought her hands behind her back as she came to ground. "Could you explain it to me, then?"
Twilight opened her mouth a few times, shutting it with a shake of her head with every iteration.
During that struggle, Ditzy blinked. "Did either of you see something pink just now? Other than Fluttershy's mane?"
The mares looked at each other, then back to Ditzy. Both shook their heads.
"Huh. Weird. I could've sworn..." Ditzy trailed off when another rosy flash flitted past the edge of her vision. Trying to follow it was like trying to pin down an eye floater, every motion of her eyes making it move in turn. Ditzy felt her eyes move further and further out of sync, but as they did, the pink came further into focus.
Finally, her eyes slotted into a configuration that left her near blind, yet felt completely natural. A poofy-maned mare appeared before her. The mare looked at her, shocked, then blurred out of view.
Ditzy blinked and shook her head. When she next opened her eyes, the room was back in focus and that same pink mare was belly down on the crystal floor, pouting up at her. "Hey! What gives?"
Twilight gawked at her. "Pinkie Pie? What are you doing here? How did you even get here?"
Pinkie—Of course it was Pinkie; how could Ditzy have ever doubted that?—stood and dusted herself off, never taking her eyes off of Ditzy. "Well, I was taking a shortcut back to Sugarcube Corner after making sure I had the order right for Big Mac's birthday cake, but then someone had to look right at me." The pout shifted to a full glare.
"Um..." Ditzy squimed under the scrutiny. "Sorry?"
"What kind of shortcut were you taking?" cried Twilight.
"The kind that only works if nopony or human is looking," said Pinkie, still focused on Ditzy. Her glare lessened. "Though you did apologize, so I guess it's okay this time."
Fluttershy raised a hoof. "Aren't you wondering why there's a human in Ponyville at all?"
Pinkie shrugged, something like a shallow push-up. "Eh, I figured we were overdue. Besides, I have scones to bake. Toodles!" She bounced out of the room, though she kept glowering at Ditzy as she did, her head swiveling owlishly to keep it up for as long as she could.
"Well," said Ditzy. "That happened."
Twilight nodded. "As much as I want to just pass that off as Pinkie being Pinkie, I have to ask, how did you do it? One moment, your eyes were practically looking inside your own head, and then Pinkie hit the floor face first."
"Like I said, there was this bit of pink in my peripheral vision. Once I focused on it, there she was... and then there she wasn't."
Twilight brought a hoof to her chin. "This may help us figure out how you got here."
"Do you think you can do it again?" said Fluttershy.
"Well, I can try. Without something to focus on..." Ditzy took a deep breath. This was the best lead she had. "I'll do my best." She squinted, trying to force her eyes into that alternate state of focus. Her vision dissolved into an incoherent mass of colors. As she stuck out her tongue, hues beyond those in the throne room drifted in and out of sight. "I've got something. Hang on."
Focusing was a lot easier with an actual target. The effort made Ditzy's eyes itch like she'd stared at a computer monitor for days on end, but the vague blur resolved itself in a matter of seconds, revealing a serpentine, snaggletoothed something-or-other standing behind a kitchen sink, singing horribly off-key as it undid some dishes.
"I made this half-pony, half-monkey monster to—" It cut itself off, meeting Ditzy's gaze. "Oh. How serendipitous." It swam through the air towards Ditzy. She couldn't help but track it and ended up focused on the throne room once more.
"Discord?" said Fluttershy.
Twilight gawked at Ditzy. "You summoned Discord!?"
"Oh, don't flatter yourselves," Discord said as he dematerialized his gloves and hairnet. "Your exotic little friend may have piqued my interest when she looked through my kitchen window, but she certainly didn't summon me. The very idea."
At this point, Ditzy managed to gather enough of her thoughts to say, "You know, I'm definitely less than half pony, and strictly speaking, the other part is ape, not monkey."
Discord pondered her for a moment, expression unreadable, before he gave a grin that nearly split his face in half. "Oh, I like you," he said, the top half of his head flopping about with every word. He turned to Fluttershy. "Can we keep her?"
She reached up and gently brought his head back together. "No, Discord. She has a home and a family."
"Both of which I'd really like to get back to."
Discord pouted, his jaw back to its usual length. "But she's fascinating! I've never seen such multidimensional girth before!"
Ditzy's mouth fell open. "Did... did you just call me fat?"
"In all the most intriguing ways! Take Fluttershy for example." A near-perfect replica of Fluttershy appeared in mid-air, accented with a halo and a few trumpet-toting equine cherubim. "Quite nice from this angle, but turn her ninety degrees..." The image did just that, flattening into a cartoonish impression of the pegasus, then a thin pink and yellow line, and finally a minute yellow point of light. "Well, she's not much to look at anymore.
"You, on the other appendage?" Discord called up an image of Ditzy and repeated the process, but the first rotation didn't flatten completely; the second resembled a long, thin balloon; and the third appeared to be a silvery soap bubble. "Never before have I encountered a creature that extends into six dimensions. You, my dear, are a novelty, and I adore novelties."
"So when I was focusing on you or Pinkie..."
"You were angling your gaze through various angles of hyperspace." Discord blinked. "Wait, you collapsed Pinkie Pie's wavefunction?"
Ditzy looked at the floor. "I didn't mean to."
Discord smirked. "I'm just upset that I didn't get to see the look on her face."
"Discord, she really can't stay," said Twilight.
He sighed. "I know, I know. Just trying to have a little fun while I can."
"Can you send her back home?" asked Fluttershy. "You did open that portal at the Gala."
"I did, but I don't think our guest or the fine puppets of Pluma de Color would appreciate me sending her there."
Fluttershy gave him a flat look. "Discord."
"I'm not being difficult. Not intentionally, anyway. When I tore open time and space, I didn't specifically choose that worldline. I just told the magic to aim for somewhere almost totally unlike Equestria and the chaos did the rest." Discord called up an enormous dart, then threw a dartboard at it like a discus. The two imploded upon contact with one another. "Asking me to send Bubbles here—"
"Ditzy Doo," said Ditzy Doo.
Discord shrugged. "If you say so." He turned back to the mares. "Asking me to send her home is a very different task. Do you know how many universes are populated by body-shy balding apes?"
Twilight gasped, her eyes widening. "I never ran into myself, so at least one for every Equestria with a mirror portal."
"And then some. Asking me to send the Silver Sudser home is asking me—me!—to perform delicate precision work. I think you can see the issue that presents." Discord uncorked a ship in a bottle and drank the contents.
Everyone went silent for a bit. Ditzy broke the gloom. "Can you at least show me the way? You seem to know more about this kind of thing than anyone else."
Discord stroked his goatee. "I can certainly try. Let's see what happens." He was behind Ditzy in a literal flash, holding her by the shoulders. "Now, you've managed to focus along one or two exotic axes, but three is the real trick. Hold on tight and keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times." With that, he tightened his grip on her and spun.
One impossibly disorienting moment later, Ditzy beheld infinity once again. "Breathtaking," Discord said from behind her. "Normally, getting this view is one of the few things I can't do. Thank you for giving me the opportunity."
Ditzy smiled. "Glad I could help. Don't suppose you could at least show me which way to go?"
"Haystacks and needles come to mind." Discord's tone went from regretful to playful. "Besides, even if I could, what fun would it be?"
"Well, then it's a matter of analysis." Ditzy pointed at universe after universe, or rather the protrusions above them, keeping her head as still as she could. "Let's see, we've got tree, tree, black lotus, tree, tree, tree, redheaded winged unicorn, tree." She hummed in thought. "If I had to guess, I'd say home doesn't have a crystal tree growing out of it."
Discord gagged. "Must you use logic right in front of me?"
"The Discord I know doesn't mind that."
"I'm sure he has many admirable qualities to make up for that. Besides, he's a moderately evolved ape, not the physical embodiment of chaos and disharmony."
"Duly noted." Ditzy shut her eyes, turned around, and reopened them. To her relief, Discord looked back. "Thank you again. This probably would've been a much bigger headache without your help."
He furrowed his brow. "I know you're trying to compliment me, but you're going about it all wrong."
"How does 'confound you, foul demon' sound? I can throw in some fist shaking."
"Ooh, fist shaking. You do know how to tempt a draconequus." Discord shook his head. "But in all seriousness, go. The more you gush, the more you hurt my reputation." He winked and made a shooing motion with his forelimbs.
Ditzy nodded, spread her wings, and started drifting away from the universe. Discord stuck out of it like a worm poking out of an apple. "Give Fluttershy and Twilight my thanks if you can stomach it."
"No promises!" Discord had to shout just to make himself heard in the void.
Ditzy watched him pull himself back inside his world, then faced forward without closing her eyes. The worlds spun before her again, but not as nauseatingly. She kept turning her head after that. Every time she did, it got a little easier to watch the worlds spin around her. Every time, she got a better sense of how they'd react to her motions.
One position revealed something that resonated with her. Ditzy couldn't put the feeling into words. She wasn't even sure if there were words for it. But for whatever reason, the orange-glowing world just felt like home. She flew towards it. Every now and then, she strayed too close to another timeline, but she steered herself back to the realm between each time she neared the edge of another reality, always keeping home in sight.
Finally, Ditzy floated just outside of her native universe, gawking. "Well. That's a thing."
The world was clearly damaged, the sphere spiderwebbed with fine cracks, but that wasn't what made Ditzy's jaw drop. As she'd expected, no tree emerged from the hypersphere, no blossom or horse. Instead, Sunset Shimmer rose from it, merged with the world from the waist down. The rest of her was clothed in radiant energy, her hair flowing like a banner in an unfelt breeze. Sixteen arms emerged from her shoulders in ways that didn't quite mesh with conventional geometry, yet still felt elegant and graceful rather than eldritch or disturbing. Sunset held the world together with twelve of them while she kept the hands of the other four over one of the worst cracks, drawing it closed with warmly glowing magic. Her shining aura went prismatic where it refracted through beads of sweat on her furrowed brow.
Ditzy gulped and stayed where she was. This seemed far too important to interrupt or risk distracting Sunset.
The sound of her swallowing still made the radiant figure look up. Sort of. Sunset still focused on her work, but manifested another head to look at Ditzy. Her newly formed eyebrows rose. "What are you doing out there?"
Ditzy's mouth worked silently for a few moments before she collected her thoughts. "After your speech, I got knocked out of the universe by the rainbow shockwave."
Sunset blinked and peered closely at Ditzy. A third face formed in Ditzy's peripheral vision, its relation to the rest of Sunset's body unclear, and looked over the world before vanishing. Finally, Sunset said, "Congratulations. I couldn't find anyone else with your particular affinity for time-space magic. Which is good, because I really can't spare the time to go hunt them down."
"I'm not distracting you too much right now, am I?" Ditzy asked, biting her lip.
Sunset smiled. "I can manage some multitasking. But please do me a favor when you get back. Don't draw attention to the mutations. I have a delicate setup in place that you missed out on, and if people notice them before they get used to them, it would be... bad."
"How bad?"
"Mushroom cloud bad."
Ditzy gulped and nodded. "Yeah, that's... that's bad. I won't say anything. Don't suppose you can get me in where I left?"
"I should be able to. Hold still and focus on where you were when the wave hit you." A seventeenth arm reached towards Ditzy. Something told her she shouldn't think too hard about where it was coming from.
Still, that meant she was free to worry about other problems. "I have no idea how long I've been gone. My parents are probably sick with worry by now. What do I tell them?"
Sunset smiled as her fingers gently enclosed Ditzy. "Just worry about the where. I'll take care of the when. Causality's still a little looser than it should be, and compared to what I've been doing to the world these past few months, this will be an easy fix."
"Okay..." Ditzy shut her eyes and focused on her bedroom.
There was a feeling of great motion.
There was a feeling of great stillness.
.noitom taerg fo gnileef a saw erehT
Ditzy opened her eyes and looked around. Same bookshelf, same dresser, same desk. She felt the back of her neck. Same fluff.
She raced downstairs.
"Shh! Ditzy!" Her mother met her in the kitchen, a frown on her pale blue face. "Your father is still slee—" The hug cut her off. Mistral Lace wrapped her arms around Ditzy. "Is everything alright?"
"I... I just really needed to see you."
"You know that if anything's the matter, you can tell me, right?"
Ditzy sniffled. "Yes, mom. Right now, I just really need a hug."
"Okay." Mistral let the embrace go on for the better part of a minute before she said, "Ditzy?"
Ditzy released her and gave a sheepish grin. "I'm okay now."
"Well, that's good, but... honey, you smell like you've been rolling around in a park. Did you shower yesterday?"
"Mom!"
Author's Note
If by some travesty you don't recognize the joke in the title, I invite you to educate yourself.
Sunset's full speech is at the beginning of the last chapter of Oversaturation.
Friendly reminder that the manticore from the series premiere is canonically named Manny Roar.
Humansville actually is a thing in our world. Credit goes to devas for bringing that to my attention.
For those wondering, the world with the lotus coming out of it is the world of the breezies as per The Flower's Dream
