YouTube Vlogs: Equestria [REBOOT]
Author's Note
I'm still kinda bad about rushing a story and am striving to get better at writing. I should have the next chapter out by the end of February. Expect the worst, but hope for the best. But mostly expect the worst.
EDIT: I wasn't able to get a chapter out... sorry, guys. Your general expectation right now should be sometime this summer.
RE-EDIT: Okay, so I noticed that parts of my writing are still autistic. Gonna turn those parts blue. And anything that needs more details can be colored red. Good news is, I've already highlighted the "points of interest" meaning you guys were curious to know what I thought was so autistic.
... I'm a Pony
I groaned as my brain started processing what dreams I had, what imaginations I came up with. Strangely enough, the only thing I remembered was falling... I opened my eyes slowly, the memories of my dreams fading as they always do. I was in a trance-like state, as was the norm for when I first wake up, so I didn’t exactly process what I saw immediately. Just the night sky, the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen in my life. I smiled at the glimmering stars, savoring the moment. After a while, my eyes closed involuntarily as sleep beckoned me into a realm of peace and tranquility.
My eyes then shot open as I had a revelation that left me in shock. Wait… where’s the roof? I thought as a look of panic crossed my face. I contemplated the events of the night before… I only showered, ate dinner, used social media, and went to bed. So, where am I? I rolled over and craned my neck to see the details of where I was… but it wasn’t familiar to any place I’ve ever been. Most of the houses looked like some sort of amish neighborhood, a fountain with a statue of a figure I couldn’t make out sat in what I assumed was the middle of town, I spotted what looked like it could be a “Ye Olde Bakery” around the town square, and I noticed that the roads were made of cobblestone. A feeling of dread washed over me. Great… I have to live like the amish now.
I rolled over and saw that directly in front of me was what looked like a fashion store… but something seemed oddly familiar about it. Cobblestone ran from the building and connected with the network of roads in the neighborhood. And right next to the building was something I didn’t expect to see. ... My phone? I was completely confused when I saw that my phone had somehow been brought with me… But... how did I get here? I thought as a dumbfounded expression crossed my face, only to be replaced by a neutral expression. I need to check on my friends anyway... I crawled over to my phone to try to get some sort of answer. I extended my arm to make a grab for it...
I froze in shock as I saw what my arm looked like. It looked like it had a bluish tint to it, but to make things worse, my hand seemed to be cut off. I began having a panic attack as I shuffled back and forth, checking every part of my body for things that were different from before. It seemed that my arms and legs were amputated, but they didn’t hurt when I applied a little bit of pressure to them… which was odd to me since most people endure slight pain after surgeries similar in nature. As I observed my body, I noticed something that blew my mind… something that I never would have thought possible since the textbooks never mentioned it in school...
I have a tail, I thought in confusion as I laid back down. I slid my phone closer to me as I tried to solve the problem I was faced with. So, I’m in an amish community, I have amputated arms and legs, my body has a bluish tint to it… and I have a… tail… My eyes lit up and I looked up as I remembered why the place in front of me was so familiar. I stared at the building, mouth agape, for what seemed like an eternity. I shook my head, snapping myself out of my stupor, and focused on the problem at hand. So, this is where I am... but how did I end up here? Who brought me here? “How the hell did I turn into a freaking pony?” As I realized I said that last part out loud, I quickly covered my mouth with my hoof, looking around to make sure no one heard what I said. But no one was around. With a sigh of relief, I attempted to stand on all four of my hooves, which proved to be a bit difficult since I wasn’t used to standing on all fours.
I looked down at my phone and tried to press the home button with my hoof… but the button wouldn’t press because my hoof was too big. I used my nose to press it, and a bright light assaulted my eyes. I averted my eyes for a moment, then looked back at the phone to check the time. 6:19, huh? That’s a pretty early start. I then used my nose to swipe the screen, and an assortment of square icons popped up. I checked to make sure I had reception, but noticed that I had none… which was odd, considering…
I frowned again as I realized I was faced with another dilemma. I had no service. I had no 3G. I had no wifi. Great… I don’t suppose Rarity has wifi either. I looked up at the building in front of me, then back down at my phone. Might as well check, I guess. I scrolled to the settings app with my nose and, after accidentally opening my stocks app, managed to open the settings. I looked at how small the wifi settings button was, and I frowned as I thought if pressing it was gonna work. I pressed my nose up against the screen, and the bluetooth settings popped up. My brow furrowed as I pressed the button to go back. This went on for about a minute before I actually pressed the button I was trying to press. I looked up in the top right corner as I was waiting for a connection to be found. 94%... that isn’t bad, but…
Then I realized something that left me completely crushed. I don’t have a charger… This isn’t good. How am I gonna keep making videos if my phone’s battery dies? I frowned as I soon found out that there was no wifi connection anywhere around. I pressed the home button, scrolled over to the camera app, and opened it. I have no internet, no service, no charger… and I can’t play games like I used to. I had a little bit of difficulty changing to the inner camera, but eventually I was able to see what I truly looked like.
My hair, just like my tail, was light gray with a dark gray stripe in the middle, and my eyes had a strange light purple coloration to them. Last time I checked, my eyes were hazel… Anyway, my complexion wasn’t half bad. My muzzle was pretty short, but the jaw line was very defined… then I noticed something else I had forgotten about. I knew I was seeing perfectly for some reason, but I never registered that I had my gray-framed rectangular glasses on. My focus then shifted to the part that I found quite strange. Protruding from the middle of my forehead was a horn. It looked a bit like a bone with the spirals on it, but the coloration was the same as my fur. I took a few minutes to just take in my new look. So… this is what I look like now. A small smile crossed my face as I entertained the idea of making a vlog to keep on my phone. I guess I should make my battery life count. I scrolled to video mode with very little difficulty and pressed the record button.
Once I saw the timer start from 0:01, I gave an intro as if I was going to upload the video on YouTube. “Hey,” I started, my voice a little hoarse. I took a moment to clear my throat and tried again. “Hey, guys. Something weird happened last night, and I don’t know what… so if you guys have any clue what happened, let me know in the comments...” I frowned and looked off to the side as I realized my error. “Right… no internet… well, whoever sees this, please tell me why I turned into this.” I brought a hoof to the back of my head. “You see, I’m… uh, I think that I might--” I then began to lose my balance and tried to plant my hooves on the ground to keep me in place… only to fall down on my side. “Ow… damn it,” I groaned as I stood back up and gave a half smile. “... uh, anyway… I think I might have fallen into a world full of sunshine and rainbows, yet I’m still worried… and about electronics, no less.”
I then frowned in thought. “Pathetic, right? I wake up in the middle of some place I don’t even know, I find out that my phone has no way of connecting to the internet, I realize that my phone’s useless without a charger, I find out that I turned into a pony, I’m pretty clumsy on all fours, and I can’t use my horn.” I looked directly at the camera and put on a smile. “Just a regular Tuesday, am I right?” I smiled awkwardly as silence loomed over the town. “Anyways, if you have any tips on how to use a horn or how to walk correctly, just… let me know.” I almost slipped up again, but I saved it by putting my hoof on my head like I was saluting. “If you want to see more videos like these, just tell me and I’ll be happy to make more.” I dropped the salute as I finished up. “I’m out.” I then put my hoof back down and pressed my nose to the record button again. I smiled as my video was processed and saved to the camera roll, then frowned as I realized making videos would be meaningless if I couldn’t get home…
I looked up at the building in front of me and frowned as I considered my options. If I just walk around blindly, I’ll end up getting lost… I should probably ask for a place to stay. I looked down at my phone and fidgeted with it to press the power button. I then made an effort to balance the phone on my hoof. After a few minutes, I finally succeeded in doing so. I attempted to walk over to the cobblestone path leading to Rarity’s shop, phone in hoof. I was able to walk a few steps before falling on my face and dropping my phone. I silently cursed my new form and stood back up. I sighed in relief as I noticed that my phone made it to the cobblestone road. I tried my best to get to the road without falling, and I somehow managed to succeed this time. I smiled proudly at my own accomplishment.
With much difficulty, I managed to get my phone back on my hoof. Now then… how do I get to the boutique without falling? I carefully took a few steps towards the building, balancing my phone as I went. Slowly, I made my way up to the steps in front of the building. I stopped and looked through the shop window. A faint white light was shining through the curtains, indicating that someone was apparently working already. I was glad, but at the same time I was nervous. There was something about Rarity that rubbed me the wrong way… was it her Elizabethan voice? Her choice of fashion? The way she gets what she wants? Regardless, the idea of
bunking with her made me quite uncomfortable.
I looked to the side and noticed how the sky had changed. The majestic purple colors were being replaced by a radiant orange horizon, and the moon was beginning to make its descent. Stars and constellations were beginning to disappear from the sky. I stared in awe as I watched the sun rise. After a minute, I shook my head and began to make my ascent up the steps. It proved to be quite difficult, but I managed to make it. Now all that was left to do was knock on the door… How should I knock, though? I had a few choices for knocking… use the hoof I’m using to keep myself balanced to knock and fall down, use my head to knock, throw my phone at the door, or use one of my rear hooves to knock. I ruled out the first three since they all involved pain… and dropping my phone… so I turned around, lifted one of my hooves, and knocked softly.
“Coming,” a silken voice rang out in sing-song. I gulped as I slowly faced forward. As soon as the knob started to turn, I had considered just ditching her… but my legs wouldn’t move. My heart was racing, and I could only stare as the door opened to reveal the owner of the store. “Welcome to Carousel Boutique. How can I help you today?” She sounded a bit tired, but that was nothing unusual. After all, it was pretty early.
The clean white coat… the curled purple mane and tail… those eyelashes… the diamonds on her flank… there’s no mistaking it, I thought to myself. That’s definitely Rarity. I could only stare through her and begin smiling as thoughts began racing through my mind. No wonder Spike likes her so much… My expression did a complete 360 as that thought crossed my mind. What? No, I don’t like her. I’m not supposed to like her! She was made to be--
“Is something wrong, sir?” I was snapped out of my train of thought as I realized she was talking to me and, from the looks of it, she was confused.
I couldn't look her in the eyes... so I settled with second best, which was looking at the ground. “Um... actually... I have no place to stay.”
“What?” She looked at me with worry. “Certainly you can’t mean that. I mean, surely you must have some relatives you can stay with.”
“Yeah, no.” I looked down at my phone. “I have no contact with any relatives or friends for… miles around.” I knew I had to be careful about the way I worded the things I said.
“Oh…” She looked downtrodden, but perked up immediately. “Well, you’re welcome to come in and chat if you’d like.”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I gave it a little thought. I then sighed. “I guess I can’t really say no to such a generous offer, can I?”