A Small Misunderstanding

by biasedeyes

Rating: mature
Tags: Drama, Porn, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Fetish, Shining Armor, Discord, Slice of Life
Length: 3432

What could cause a rift between Cadance and a reformed Discord? This fic puts forth an interesting hypothesis.

Cadance is struggling to rule an empire that's sprung back to life after 1000 years of absence. When Discord comes forward to offer assistance to her, she wishes for more respect for the power of the royal position. Discord takes her request in entirely the wrong sort of context, resulting in some romantic complications with Shining.

Published 2016-02-27 18:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-27 18:10:02 UTC

A Small Misunderstanding

Author's Note

Only ~20% of this story actually describes sexual acts. I wrote for accuracy over eroticy. You have been warned.

A Small Misunderstanding

“Princess, you can’t attend a meeting with Griffish merchants then!” protested Princess Cadance’s personal secretary, calendar, and adviser, Fractal Index, “You have to attend the annual Crystal Ball with Prince Shining Armor, for the traditional tea-taking ceremony.”

Cadance, Princess of the Crystal Empire by right of the cutiemark on her flank, which indicated her ability for the unconditional and untamed love which was part of the crystal pony way of life, sighed and resisted gritting her teeth. She loved her subjects dearly, but their insistence on certain tradition and ceremony could be irritating. The role of Princess was a powerful one, but also required that she spend half her time doing this or that just as her predecessors did over a thousand years ago. She understood how important their history was to the crystal ponies, but felt she often appeared as a figurehead, getting little respect as head of state. She wanted to lead her ponies toward a better future, not merely comfort them with a smiling face.

She hadn’t been able to manage the empire as well as she’d like. Taken from the stagnation of slavery and a millenia out of date, the Crystal economy was foundering, and currently consisted almost completely of subsidized trade to Equestria. She wanted to spend every moment improving their situation, so missing something important like a chance to open trade with the Griffins hurt. It might not have been so bad if it weren’t for her empathy with the crystal ponies. Every disappointment, every realization that the world had literally moved on without them by her subjects scratched her heart just as it did theirs. It was unbearable.

That was one of the reasons Cadance loved Shining Armor. He acted like he could protect her better than she could herself, which was such an adorable delusion that Cadance didn’t correct it, and might even have encouraged it. No, loving him was easy because, with his arsenal of shield spells and his blithe demeanor, Shining was able to protect himself and those he loved, making Cadance’s heart just a bit more at ease.

As she left Index in the reception room and paced down the hall for a break, Cadance’s thoughts began to untangle into happy ones of her relationship with Shining, the inner, secure love which made her talent for outwards love so much more bearable. Her unexpected and deliciously vivid remembrance of some of her more excitingly intimate moments with Shining, hooked and rocking together stickily in the months since their marriage, was interrupted by a troubling flash in front of her. A small space in front of her drew together into dark obscurity, then filled with a light which would most certainly have been blinding if it was not completely surrounded by darkness. Instead, with a single searing flash, a draconic figure, with horse’s head, lion’s paw, eagle’s claw, and a snake’s tail, stood directly in front of Cadance.

Discord, whom Cadance knew only from correspondence with her sister-in-law Twilight, looked dejected, wearing a drooping frown, a tattered button-up shirt, and a battered suitcase. On seeing her, he brightened considerably. “Cadance!” he whined “Celestia kicked me out of Canterlot, all due to some minor mishap! How can I use my powers for good when I’m banned from the capital of Equestria? I didn’t know where to go, so I came here, to the Crystal Empire... and it seems you’re excited to see me!” he broke into a grin, raising both eyebrows at his last phrase.

Cadance scowled and took a step back, still flush from her explicit memories. Discord had a horse’s nose after all, and his nostrils flared disconcertingly. Composing herself, she tried to remember what she knew of Discord. A trickster, he had nearly ruined Twilight’s friendships as well as all of Equestria, but further interaction with Twilight and her friends had redeemed him, to the level of ‘pestilent nuisance’ if she recalled Twilight’s words correctly. His considerable power now belonged, or had belonged, to Equestria, though Cadance wasn’t sure what benefit they might have gotten from that.

“You’re here to help?” she asked guardedly. She’d thought Twilight may have been a bit harsh in her letters. Discord obviously had some social problems, but she wasn’t sure he was as ruthlessly conniving as Twilight thought.

“Indeed, indeed.” replied Discord, scooting to Cadance’s side and throwing a leonine paw over her withers. She glared at the sudden weight, but Discord seemed oblivious. “So tell me, what's on your mind? What can I help you with?”

“Oh.” answered Cadance, casting back for the path of her train of thought before it hit Shining. She wanted this clueless whinging bulk gone as soon as possible, but didn’t want to offend him. “I was just wishing I could have more respect for my power and...”

“Oh ho!” chuckled Discord, raising an eyebrow. “Say no more! Next time expect a lot more respect!” With that, he raised his paw, and snapped out just as he’d snapped in. Cadance sighed, he was gone. What did he mean by ‘next time’? Next time he visited? That must be it. She mused only a moment more over the strange conversation before returning to the reception room to start the day with Index.

It was a long day of meetings, meeting the visionaries, ensurers, and brokers of society and pushing them lightly in the correct directions, before Cadance was able to leave the public areas of the palace and make her way to the royal suite. She allowed herself a small smile at the thought of all the good she had done today, a smile which became broader and less tense when she surveyed the entirety of her empire from the crystal windows of her room. Such a brilliant view rivaled any she had known in Equestria, and was more than just recompense for her troubles. She sat on a sofa and let the tension drain from her, until she heard a clicking from the doorway.

She grinned and sat up, to see that it was indeed Shining Armor, still wearing the uniform of Captain of the Crystal Guard, and a similar sheepish grin. It wasn’t long until they were hugging, each with a forehoof thrown around the other. Cadance’s leftover forehoof found its way to the trouser portion of Shining’s uniform, feeling out the hard lump underneath him. Shining’s errant forehoof responded by tracing gently down along her belly, making her shiver in his forehooves.

“How was your day?” he asked.

In response, Cadance stuck out her tongue, making a very unprincesslike face of disgust. Shining chuckled and Cadance joined in.

“Oh, not that bad, actually,” she replied “I got a lot done. I won’t be able to meet with the Griffish traders anytime next week, but Index got something tentative the week after that. Oh! And Discord showed up!” At the mention of Discord, Shining tensed, standing ready to cast a spell, probably his trademark shield. “No, no.” she continued, “He left. Almost apologized for disrespecting me too. He may have had some sort of falling out with Celestia, but he wasn’t making it rain chocolate milk or anything. I already wrote to Celestia, I should get an answer by tomorrow.”

Shining’s face untensed, but he still looked worried. Cadance knew that his opinion of Discord came from his sister. Twilight was a sweet filly, or, Cadance corrected herself, sweet mare, but she wasn’t the most reliable when it came to a sense of proportion. To be sure, Discord had terrible powers, and wasn’t precisely pleasant, but Twilight felt he was just a shade away from evil.

So instead of starting a pointless argument, or letting Shining extrapolate uselessly, she just let her free forehoof press more firmly into the lump hanging from Shining’s underbelly, stroking up and down.

Shining’s face changed to one of surprise and pleasure, then to knowing humor. “Are you...” he said, and Cadance nodded. The two ponies shared a loving smile for a moment before eagerly prepping for what they would make happen next.

They broke free of the hug, and Shining shucked the upper part of his uniform while Cadance tore down his pants. She felt her breathing slow as his stallionhood came into view. It was already mostly erect, and she could visualize it pounding rhythmically down into her. But before she could take it in her hooves and make that happen, Shining's flank whipped away as he hugged her from behind.

“Looks like there’s only one way to save the Empire now!” he said jovially, tickling her sides with his hooves before lifting her up and tossing her gently to land on the nearby couch. Cadance hit the cushions with a soft thud and a mildly worrying snapping sound, flank sticking off of the couch’s raised arm. She used her forehooves to get comfortably balanced, familiar with this routine. She smiled, her loins burning in anticipation.

“The power of...” Shining Armor trailed off. A few moments later Cadance heard him squeak. She whirled around. Had he stepped on a sharp bit of crystal? She gasped as she saw him sitting on the floor, both forehooves on his groin. She clambered back off the couch to see what was wrong, only to feel her vagina drop out of her.

She paused in shock, then brought a hoof back to investigate. It hit something far before it should have and Cadance winced at contact with the tender area. Was that her clitoris? It felt numb, and far too big. She crouched and peered between her legs, and almost recoiled at the horrific mess her vagina had become. Her clitoris was engorged beyond belief, hanging down stiffly. It looked like it might have pulled some of her vaginal canal out too, since small mounds of tender flesh were hanging behind it, shaped like… balls. Cadance's picture resolved itself as she realized that she was looking at a classic set of stallion's equipment instead of a grossly mutilated vagina.

No sooner had she discovered this when it began to leak. Some clear fluid spurted out, and it didn't help matters as she tapped it with her hoof to make sure it was real. After a few convulsive spurts on her misgendered member's part, it was nearly as slick as a vagina, if not otherwise similar to one.

Guiltily, she remembered the reason she had gotten off the couch in the first place, and looked up at Shining. He was still sitting with hooves in front of his groin, looking straight at her with a strange mix of awe and terror. “Did… did. Did you do this?” he asked.

“Do what?” she asked.

In reply, he simply moved his hooves away from his groin and shifted his back legs slightly, revealing… nothing. Or actually, no stallionhood, but Cadance could now see that he'd gained what she'd lost. A vagina curved under him and away from sight.

Cadance shook herself mentally, and replied. “No.” she said. “No, I didn't do this.”

“Can… can you undo it?”

Cadance shook her head. “No.” Being princess of love, it did seem like she should know how to cast spells like this, but since she'd dealt mostly with Ponetic love, she didn't have any experience with this sort of thing. “Not right now, at least. I'm sure there's a spell to fix it which it shouldn't be too much trouble to find! Maybe even without asking Twilight!” Cadance gave a grin and chuckled weakly at her own joke. Her lover's head was bowed worryingly forward, eyes cast to the floor. Nothing after her 'no' had gotten a reaction, and Cadance was alarmed to see tears start to slide and drop off Shining's nose.

"What's wrong?" she asked, somewhat rhetorically.

"I... I'm... I mean... What's going to happen to us?" replied Shining between sobs.

"Hey" said Cadance, "It'll be okay." She went over to Shining and started to massage his back with her hooves, but he just started to cry harder, slumping over. Cadance folded him into a hug and sat while he cried onto her shoulder. Her heart felt like it had lost its bottom. Shining was miserable. What was going to happen to them? She wasn't into mares, and was pretty sure Shining wasn't into colts. Did their mismatched genitalia mean they were romantically incompatible now? Would that lack of closeness cause their relationship to drift? Cadance shivered and banished such thoughts from her mind.

Slowly, as Cadance held him, Shining's tears wound down into sniffles. Cadance gave him a tight squeeze before letting go, and ended up doing so much faster than intended due to an unexpected pressure on her groin. Her stallionhood had poked Shining in the stomach, and a droplet of wetness connected its tip to the area just above his navel for just a moment, before falling onto his coat. Cadance saw the stain with remarkable clarity, then brought her gaze down to the penis standing out from her groin. She glanced up at Shining for a moment, and saw that he, too, was regarding her new sex.

All of a sudden, Shining began to laugh, surprising both of them. It wasn't a particularly loud or steady laugh, but it broke the silence nevertheless.

Still chuckling slightly, Shining reached out and lifted Cadance’s newfound dick in one hoof. He bounced it in his sole a few times, then pressed the flared tip with his other hoof, causing Cadance to groan and roll her eyes up at the sudden pressure. By the time Cadance turned her eyes back down Shining's probing hoof had departed, probably wetted just like his belly. All she saw was her engorged penis, standing straight out from her, held by his other hoof, its softer tip glistening slightly with the fluid left on it.
Cadance suddenly felt like she needed to take a long bath, lie down. She started to clamber to her hooves, but stopped before she poked out an eye on Shining's horn. Shining was preoccupied, looking intently at her protruding groin with a strangely thoughtful expression. All of a sudden he bent forward, under her.

“L-looks… looks like some princess left their… scepter out in the open.” Shining started silkily, “It’s quite… tarnished too, looks like it could use a little polishing!” he continued. Cadance bit her lip as she recognized the dialog as a modification of one she used right before giving Shining a hoofjob. Would he really… ?

Shining grabbed the full length of his wife’s dick with both hooves. Cadance opened her mouth to say something, but began to sigh heavily instead as she felt his touch tug roughly back and forth on the textured skin of her penis. It really was like having an enormous clit. Cadance felt herself relaxing into her awkward half-standing position, resting some of her upper body weight on her lover’s back. Her heavy breathing was being mirrored by Shining; she could feel his warm breath on the tip of her member through the moisture on it. She shifted her hips back and forth, restless but not quite ready to tell Shining to stop.

Then, all of a sudden, Shining did stop. Cadance gave a slight whine and stretched her hips, working the stiffness from her groin in an attempt to save it from the relative discomfort it was now experiencing, Shining's breath against it now the only sign of his presence. She prepared herself to rise, but her whine rose to a moan instead as a heavy exhalation washed over her penis before something soft and moist closed on the tip.

Shining's horn brushed her underbelly as a ring of wetness moved up her member, and Cadance realized he now had her dick in his mouth. She wasn't about to object. She melted in place, back knees bending and front relaxing into Shiny’s back, as he gummed on her dick from various angles.

Shining's lips fell into a pattern, tracing up and down as his tongue felt out the entire length of her member. The base of his horn gently touched the soft space beneath her ribs periodically, and Cadance sagged, draping herself more heavily over Shining. She let her hips soften, pressing her erection deeper into Shining. Soon she was helping him along, pulsing her hips to push herself in as his horn rubbed back and forth across her fur.

Then, pulling back, her balls caught between Shining's tongue and the underside of his mouth. She felt for just a moment as if he were hanging off of her, then plunged back into his warmth and closeness. She pulled back just a little bit before pressing even further in, and that’s when she felt her dick catch on the sides of Shining's throat.

Cadance rocked into Shining as she ejaculated explosively, mild pressure sucking at her dick even as she felt streams of fluid issue from it.

Finally there was no more, and Cadance felt her softening dick pop from Shining's mouth as the awkward pyramid they had made slumped to the ground. Cadance lay across Shiny's prone back for a moment or two before staggering to her feet. Shining himself eased back into a sitting position, hair mussy and pupils large. He took a moment to focus on Cadance and give a small smile.

Then the smile wavered, and he took a hoof to his head and gave a moaning sigh.

“Ugh.” He said, his voice breathy. “I… I’m feeling really tired now. I just need a nap or something.”

“Here” replied Cadance, helping him to his hooves. “Let's get you to bed.” She guided him across the room and into the bedroom, where she tucked him into bed. He was snoring lightly before she turned around.

Cadance made her way back to the spot they’d left. Her eyes were drawn to a small puddle that she’d noted Shining had left under him when he stood up. She closed her eyes, picturing the glimpse she’d gotten of Shining's marehood as she’d helped him off the ground.

Her eyes popped open and she peered back underneath herself. Her penis felt larger again, but she wasn't sure what its normal size was. She sighed and made her way to the couch, plopping down onto it and staring off into space.

"Sooo... How was it?" asked Discord, popping up from beneath the couch. "I have to admit, I was waiting for you to just rut him, but, to each their own I suppose." The word ‘rut’ was complemented with its own obscenely descriptive gesture, enacted by slipping the talons of Discord’s eagle claw into his lion paw. Cadance suddenly knew with sickening certainty which side he used to mastrubate.

“You! You did this?” she asked, furious that he would interfere like this, and then stay to watch them.

“Well… yes.” replied Discord, looking at her curiously. “Didn't you say you wanted more power in the bedroom?” Cadance gritted her teeth. That wasn't what she’d meant at all.

“Change us back, now!” she hissed. Discord widened his eyes and snapped his talons. After a quick glance below revealed no protrusions, Cadance cantered quickly to the bedroom and tore the sheet back from Shining, who was already asleep. At the sight of his familiar groin she gave a sigh of relief, then trotted back to the living room.

“Goodness, so curt. I thought you might want to take a moment to revel.” remarked Discord as she reentered the room, arching an eyebrow and inspecting his claw.

Cadance stopped and, in reply, gave a growl that was more suitable for a carnivore than a pony. For the first time since she'd known Discord he was at a loss for words. He raised a talon and looked like ready to say something, but lowered it again and remained silent.
She filled the gap with a voice that was more menacing than she'd known she could muster. "Go. Leave the crystal empire. Do not interfere with myself, my husband or my crystal ponies any more."

Discord was already an impossible visual anomaly by the end of her second sentence. This disappeared just before she said 'crystal ponies', leaving an extremely upset and unsatisfied Cadance. Reflecting on her own words reminded her unpleasantly of King Sombra. She brought a hoof back to gently probe familiar lips on her groin, still aching with arousal. Perhaps, she thought, tomorrow would be better.