Not so Lucky Lightning

by TheCassowary

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Anthro
Length: 1283

An everyday guy is randomly selected to be visited by the one and only Twilight sparkle. It would probably of been a good idea not to immediately accuse her of being an escort.

Adam is what society calls a pencil pusher, the most boring job possible for the most boring man possible.
That is until one day when a certain Twilight Sparkle is experimenting with trans-dimensional travel. Thankfully she also got to stress test a few other spells thanks to Adam's innate ability to over react to a bipedal horse, wait that isn't over reacting…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-03 05:52:21 UTC

Chapter 1: Where's my ballsack?

It was a dark and... really fucking hot night, I mean I understand that I live in the bloody hottest country on planet Earth but do we really need 45 degree summers. It doesn't help that my AC took the cowards way out in an attempt to avoid this stinking mess of an evening. The beautiful mix of pouring rain and sweltering heat means I cannot open from bloody window to even breath, not to mention attempting to get any sleep. I guess now would be a good time to introduce myself considering the god awful circumstance that of which is around me. The name's Adam and... that's really it, I mean I suppose I can tell you about the office I work at, that being boring, generic office something or other. Anyway I am going for a shower to hopefully get a bloody rub off before I have to deal with a sleepless night.

Walking through the dump that I call home is always refreshing, the perfect mix of bargain bin products and small living space always makes me have an uplifting look on life. What's not to love, really I mean I love noodles and man do I have noodles and the shower, don't get me started on it, even during this heat it can't produce a drop of hot bloody water. At this point the only thing that I have as respite is the decent looking girl who lives down the hall, a cute little blond, you know the type more glitz then brain, just the kind I like.

Turning on the tap I start thinking about her cute little face and her pretty little smile, how her tits seem to be almost double the size of her brain, how they bounce with every gentle step she takes. Before I know it I am in the shower rubbing my dick to some girl who I hardly even talk to, it was getting harder and harder to consider her as anything but a slut, just the thought of her dressed as a maid bending over, "Master did I miss a spot" she would giggle as she sucked me off. My strokes were getting faster and faster, my climax was fast approaching then, FWOOOMP BAANG. "WHAT THE FUCK" I screamed as I looked over the new window in the middle of my bathroom wall. I quickly snatched a towel from the rack and wrapped it around myself, before sprinting out to see who the hell decided to re-model my home.

As I entered the lounge room of which I guessed the ruckus originated from I pondered all the possible people that could do that and came to one conclusion ALIENS, it had to be aliens. I heard a gentle stepping noise coming from behind the couch and the figure of a tall slender female came into view, this was it, may chance to become rich and famous was standing in front of me. As I began charging she slowly turned to face me, thinking she was about to laser me or something, I closed my eyes and dove towards her, only to plow into the lounge in front of her. Pulling myself from the cushions I heard a loud bellowing of laughter coming from the creature, now I was not only missing a wall but the beast had claimed my dignity.

Balling my hands into fists I was preparing to teach her some Aussie pride, that was when I opened my eyes to get a face full of purple tits.

"A-a fucking furry enthusiast broke into my house and is now laughing at me" I spoke aloud to no one in particular.

"Actually I think you will find I am a pony" the busty beauty replied.

"and it is a smart-ass" I sighed.

"No?"

"Please tell me how in Equestria a normal everyday hooman would create such a large hole in your wall"

"Well that's easy.. uhm shit.." I stuttered realizing that I was at the mercy of something far beyond my understanding

"Now, why don't you apologies for being a bad hooman?"

"You blew a hole in my wall, when will you compensate me for that?" I retorted

"Hmm well judging by the um 'state' your 'tool' is in, I think I know what you want" the alleged pony creature sultrily murmured.

Looking down I noticed that my towel had redirected its covering purpose to the back of the couch.

"Horse lady, are you trying to pay me in sex?"

"Oh don't call it that, think of it as fun, its not like you will get any past this anyway"

"Ex fucking scuse me you just beamed down into my house, shot out a wall and are now insulting my fucking sex life, you SLUT"

All she seemed to do was smile and life a single finger to move a strand of hair out of her face.

"What did you just call me?" she replied in a stoic tone.

"I called you a SLUT" I barked infusing as much venom into my words as possible.

A little snicker seemed to appear on her face before her horn was wrapped in a faint purple light.

"Would you like to see what a slut looks like hooman?" The purple devil muttered at me. "Because I would really, really love to show you."

"You don't need to whore, one's right in front of m--." My retort was cut off by a blinding flash of light and a searing pain passing through my body.

"OH FUCKING G-GOD END ME, P-PLEASE MAKE IT FUCKING S-STOP."

"If  you'd just relax I can help with the pain"

"HOW CAN I FUCKING AHHG"

I snatched a small glimpse of a bright purple hole with sunlight pouring out of it, I tried writing away but I couldn't seem to move my body anymore. Even my eyes at this point seemed to be wanting to pop in their sockets. The purple light seemed to be covering me at this point and moving me, TOWARDS THE FUCKING. "S-STOP N-NOOOO" I screamed through teeth clenched to the point that my gums were ready to burst.

"Uhhh, fine I will help" she sighed.

As I was passing through the portal I felt a wave of something? Pass over me, I felt disconnected as if I was just a legless, armless, headless entity.

"Better?" the creature asked as she brushed my hair out of my.... MY HAIR IS NOT THAT LONG.

"I-i thi-think I am g-going to be s-sick" I murmured attempting to speak through the weird spell cast on me.

I felt a someone's warm touch spread across the inner of my thigh.

"Almost done now, by the way what was your name?" she giggled almost as if she was finally beginning to show me respect.

"I-i'm Adam" I blurted almost giddily for some reason, wait did she just say was?

"That's good to know Adam, I'm Twilight Sparkle, Princess Of Friendship and now I think its time for you to have a nice long nap" the creature, now Twilight whispered in a seductive tone.

"N-no thanks T-twilight I-i am good" I groaned sleepily.

"Adam I want you to look at me for a moment, please" Twilight whispered in my ear.

Turning my head I noticed that my captor had purple eyes, the deepest purple I have ever seen and they just seemed to swallow me up.

"I think it is time for my pet to sleep" Twilight giggled as she playfully nuzzled my ear.

"n-night night" I murmured, the combined warmth of her touch and the sun made it easy for me to drift into a deep slumber.