Finding the Mark

by Plucky-the-Pony

Rating: teen
Tags: Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Mystery, Tragedy, Adventure
Length: 2447

She didn't have a name, at least, not one that she could remember, all she knew was life in the hospital. Now she must find the means to regain her strength, and most importantly, herself.

"...Have you ever forgotten anything? Day to day things, odds and ends and the like? How about whole hours, days or weeks? Can you even imagine what its like to not remembering anything at all? To be sure, its tragic, empty, and really sad... Not that my life was really sad, but the events of it all certainly were, and the worst part is not remembering any of it..."

She didn't have a name, at least, not one that she could remember, all she knew was life in the hospital. The excitement of her day was physical therapy, and anything in between was a constant source of pain. She couldn't remember how she acquired her injuries, all she knew was that she had been unconscious for a little over a year while her body healed from the severity of her wounds. Now she must find the means to regain her strength, and most importantly, herself.

Published 2016-01-30 07:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-01 22:07:51 UTC

Lost

Deep, deep down in the dark. Heavy at first, then rising, rising, rising. Warmth. Comfort. Then a slow dull throb of pain.

Sounds, soft at first, but rising in intensity, brought my ears to twitch in discomfort. Things were much louder then they were before, and with the dull throb I felt in my right hip, shoulder, and face, as well as several other parts of my body, a body that I was still getting use to, I longed for the sanctity of the darkness. Rolling onto my side, trying to bury my ears, I moaned as the dull throb became sharp and electric stabs, firing into my nervous system and forcing my eyelids to flutter violently. Too bright, too bright, too bright! I thought, longing to sink back into the depths of that blackness, yet longing still to go towards the Light. Yet the Light of my desire chose to manifest itself into the world of the living.

Voices now. Loud voices. Too loud voices. Excited and feminine voices. Though how I knew all that I wasn't sure, but when I blinked my eyes hazily again I saw two faces hovering over mine. Their big eyes and long noses. Triangular ears. Horns. Their voices rolled into one, echoing in and out of focus until one of them shone a light into my eyes. The light blinded me, but helped to bring all my other senses to focus.

"Can you hear me?" One voice repeated.

"Do you think there was any da--" The other began, but was hushed instantly by the pony with the light.

"Can you hear me?" She tried again, patiently waiting for my answer.

Unsure of how to respond, I tried to open my mouth and duplicate the sounds she made, but my mouth was cotton ball dry, and the best I could do was open and close my mouth.

"Go get some water," The first voice ordered quietly.

"On it," the second answered, before evacuating from my direct line of sight.

"Can you understand me?" She tried again, quieter now, obviously recognizing something in my face that seemed to exasperate my pain.

"You don't have to talk, sweety. Just try nodding or shaking your head, okay? Now let's try this again. Can you understand me?"

With a mighty effort, I nodded, ignoring the stabbing, shooting pains up my neck.

"Are you in any pain?"

I nodded again, resting the heavy weight of my head back on the pillow.

"Okay, I'll get you some pain killers as soon as I can. Just stay with me. We're going to get you some water and see how that settles, okay?"

Nodding my affirmation, I closed my eyes, finding the light to be too brilliant still.

"Don't fall back asleep now! We need you to stay awake."

Shaking my head in the faintest of negatives, I closed my eyes tighter, the only audible sound I could muster was another quiet moan.

There was a brief pause as the pony tried to define my meaning before continuing in her hushed voice. This time the voice moved about the room, and I assumed she was at the task of preparing those pain-killers she talked about. "You're in the hospital in Canterlot. Do you know where that is?"

I paused, then shook my head. The word itself bounced around in my head, vaguely sounding familiar, but I couldn't put anything to the word. Not a single emotion. It puzzled me.

"... Okay..." She began again, fumbling with her words like I was with my predicament. "Its in Equestria... You've been unconscious for a long time..."

"Eighteen months, two weeks, and five days to be exact," the other pony specified as she entered. My ear followed her approach as she came into view. She carried with her a foam cup with a lid and straw, though she carried it in the air, which puzzled me for a moment, but didn't take precedent over the former information. It sounded like a lot of time, but I wasn't too sure either... I felt like I had been in the Light for much longer then that, but I wasn't sure of that either... In fact, I couldn't remember a time before the Light. That bothered me.

The straw neared my lips, and I reached out weakly for it, sucking in the life-giving liquid greedily. So delicious was it that I practically groaned in pleasure.

Once my mouth was properly saturated, the first pony inquired again. "What's your name, Sweety?"

My... Name? I thought, puzzled at first, but the more I thought about it the more it bothered me, especially when I watched the two ponies exchange a look. I shook my head slowly, trying not to let the panic in my chest escape to my face.

"We... We couldn't find your Cutie Mark when you came in... So we don't have a clue on who you are or where you came from... Do you not remember anything?"

Slowly I shook my head, too shocked now... How can I not remember my name? Still shaking my head, I could no longer hold back the panic in my chest. It burst from my like a wolf, growling its groans at first, which swiftly turned into pitiful whines as the pain in my body escalated. Rushing around, the ponies quickly set to task with some tubes, and it wasn't long till I fell blissfully back into the depths of blackness.

Conscious Decisions

Wakefulness was turning out to be a fitful thing. Pain floated in and out according the my medications and when it did it drug me along with it. I woke up yearning to sleep again, to live in the bliss of that pleasant darkness, yet even in sleep I started to dream. At first it was fuzzy pictures and sounds, but the longer I was awake the brighter and more vivid my dreams became. In my dreams, I dreamed of being awake, of exploring the hallways of the hospital, and visiting other patients in their wards. When I was awake I longed for the ease and peace of sleep, yet in that yearning I also discovered that I did desire to see more than what was within my room.

Awake now, I lay curled on the bed, gazing at the world around me, and contemplated my latest dream. I had walked out of my bed, down the hall, and found the room of an elderly patient. A younger pony sat in a chair, uncomfortably asleep as it kept her kin company. As I stood there watching, I noticed the elderly-pony glance at me with watery eyes. Smiling shyly, I watched as the elderly-pony smiled in kind, and with a huff had begun to share with me many stories of his youth. The pranks he pulled on his mother and brothers, his first kiss, the long and lovely years he spent with his wife of 54 years. The joys of his grand-ponies and watching the little squirts grow and telling them stories like he was telling me. Together, we spent the night talking and whiling away the hours, until a sudden bright light came through the window. Thinking it was dawn, I made my pardon and stepped out, promising to see him again tomorrow night.

Smiling humbly to myself, I nibbled absently at the soft cotton sheet, hunger gnawing its way in my belly, but not wanting the peaceful feeling of my dream to leave me once the nurses stopped by. A wail of despair came from down the hall... From the very direction I took in my dream... My heart leapt to my throat, and me along with it as I tried to get out of my bed in a big hurry. Surely it couldn't be him?! I thought, as my front hooves hit the floor... And crumpled the moment I put any weight on them.

Falling messily and painfully to the floor, I whimpered as a fresh wave of pain washed over me. I wasn't down for long when a nurse threw open the door and quickly used her magic to gently pick me back up and onto my bed, all the while berating me for my foolishness in as gentle of a manner as she could manage.

"Now what do you think you're doing, sweety? If you needed anything you could have just paged me... Is everything alright? You're not hurt are you?"

Blinking at her, it took me a minute to register everything she said, since she spoke so quickly it was hard for my brain to keep up. "I'm sorry, Nurse Flora," I began, speaking slow and concisely so as to not get any of the words jumbled up, "but I heard that cry... and I wanted to go... see if it was the mare... with the elderly gentle-pony." It took far longer to say that simple sentence then it did for me to eat most days, and it wasn't for lack of mind. I knew the words and what I wanted to say, but my tongue refused to cooperate at the same speed my mind did.

"...Gentle-colt..." Flora corrected automatically, while she tucked me back into bed, but then it dawned on her what I said. "What gentle-colt?"

"The elderly one... Just down the hall... " I answered, flicking my ear to the left to indicate the direction.

She stared at me a moment, her face thoughtful, before quietly asking, "And how did you get there?"

I thought for a moment, remembering my dream vividly, but I wasn't sure how to answer. "I walked."

"Oh, Honey, there was no way you walked... You'll need help just to get out of bed! Now how did you do know, really? Did some-pony visit you while I was busy?"

I shook my head, before adding, "I dreamt it."

"You... dreamt... it?" She inquired, obviously disbelieving my story.

I nodded once, not wavering my gaze so she could see the truth in them.

"... I see..." She finally admitted, looking away thoughtfully before she turned back to me. "Well I will go check, but I'm sure that elderly gentle-colt passed on... He wasn't doing too well last I heard..." A pause, before she looked down at me with a soft and motherly smile, "Looks like you're ready for your therapy though, sweety. Would you like that?"

I cocked my head, clearly confused. "What do you mean, 'passed on'?"

A softness entered her expression as she realized I didn't know what she meant. "He probably died, sweety."

"What is 'died'?" I asked again, still grasping at straws.

"That is what happens to you when your body can no longer stay alive. He was too old, his body got too tired, so he went to sleep... To never wake up again..." She added at the end, clearly remembering my own circumstance.

I puzzled over that for a while, before nodding with a small smile, "He went to go see the Light then."

"The... Light?" Now it was her turn to be confused.

"Yes. The Light. He will be happy there."

She looked at me almost uncertainly, but seemed to keep her thoughts to herself. Instead she inquired, "Well it seems we should start you on your therapy. Would you like that?"

Again I was puzzled, and again I asked, "What is ther-a-py?"

"Its what we do to teach you to walk again. Would you like that?"

I smiled and nodded vigorously.

Pleased, she smiled brightly while she walked to the door. "Good. I'll go get your breakfast and tell the therapist that he has a new patient. I'll be right back."

Smiling while she parted, I looked out my window and I began to daydream...

When the Light Fades to Gray

... Floating... Light... Weightless... Bright... Empty... Vibrant... Sensations were limited. All around the being of "self" was nothing but light, and the only sensation of "self" there was was the feeling of weightlessness, floating in the void of bright white light. There was no sounds, no smells, no taste, no touch, but the feeling of floating, no sight but the vibrancy that was all around, above and below. Identity of self was also limited. Who am I? Where am I? Those were constant in a world of consistency. They seemed to prove that nothing changes, at least, not here, but one day, change did come, and it came in thought. Am I the Light? Am I the Weightless? These questions, the ones with no answers, drifted like fog, yet fog-less. Spiraling. Down, down, down. Weightless became weighted. Light began to fade until all was a muted gray...

It was so dark, yet not really dark. Darker then I had expected, as I couldn't see anything clearly, but then again, I couldn't see much in a place brilliantly white. Everything was gray, but I can start to see the differences in the shades of gray. There was depth to this grayness, and the longer I looked, studying the tiniest, fuzziest muted detail, the objects of my seeing automatically filtered itself. A sudden and minutest second of darkness then gray again. I froze. Daring not to move. The grayness was okay, but the darkness was scary... Yet not... In the darkness it was similar to the Light in that there was nothing to see, nothing to differentiate from one to the other. The grayness was a new thing, and an equally scary thing, but it was an intriguing thing.

Filtering again. These sudden flashes of darkness eased the ache of the entity of sight, and with each passing I could see clearer. Fuzzy things began to sharpen. Textures began to appear where once it was all haze. That is when I noticed a new sensation. I could feel. The softness underneath, the warm skin-like sheath on top, the way the dust ticked my nose as I breathed... And smell! Dust had the faintest earthy tone, but above the smell of dust was the pungent smell of anti-septic, the warmer smell of fresh laundry, and the soft smell of cotton. None of these things I recognized, but as I moved, so painstakingly slow, I could spot the sources of these smells. Each slow motion brought with it a wave of pain and discomfort. I didn't like it, and despite my curiosity of this new world around me, I shut my eyes to it. Seeking the safety of the darkness and its solitude, and, embracing it, I slept...

Author's Note

Just want to add that this story doesn't start with gore, that'll happen in later chapters. For now it'll be short, pleasant chapters.