The moon shone high above Equestria, illuminating the quiet night. It was a full moon, the scarred face on its surface watching the land below. Celestia watched from her window, letting the moonlight flood her lavish bedroom in a soft glow. She stared at that scarred face for a while, letting memories long past stir in her mind again. It had been 754 years, 9 months and 17 days since Celestia was forced to banish her sister to the moon. Day after day of raising the sun and lowering the moon on her own, each day more lonely than the last. She sighed, turning her face away from the face staring back at her. She had to go raise the sun, keep the cycle alive. The sound of her hoofsteps filled the empty hallways as she walked towards her usual balcony, getting ready for the usual preparations.

She walked past Luna’s old room, a fresh wave of guilt washing over her. Memories began flooding into her mind, times gone by being remembered once again. Her joyful demeanour, her dark flowing hair, her vibrant cutie-mark. This much younger Luna pranced around in her head, every step fueling her ever growing guilt. Fond memories began to appear clearly in her mind, vibrant as the day Celestia stood there herself. Luna and her rolling around in the castle gardens, grass snaking its way around their bodies and all over their manes. Their games of Marco Polo in the castle maze, often met with a face full of bush and an earful of jester. The sound of her laughter and the look of her smile whenever they were with each other. All these treasured memories, nothing but old wounds to her heart now.

As she kept walking towards her usual spot, the memories from earlier kept circulating in her head. Suddenly stopping mid-trot, she decided the sun could wait a little longer. Celestia rushed out of the palace towards the castle gardens, suddenly hit with the need to remember it all again. The grand doors burst open as Celestia flew down onto the garden below. Panting, her gaze looked over the blossoming flowers and sleeping critters. Memories began to drift back into her head, even clearer than before.

It was the Grand Galloping Gala, one of Luna’s first. Celestia had always found them quite boring even when her parents tried their best to make it enjoyable for her, but now that their parents were gone Celestia wanted to at least give Luna the chance to enjoy it. She took her to all the major highlights of the Gala, from greeting the guests at the gate to the dances. Luna loved it. It all seemed so magical to her, ponies getting together and celebrating the birth of their mighty land. It inspired her in a way, making sure her night was was beautiful as possible. The right amount of moonlight, the stars as bright as possible, even the right amount of moonlight breeze. All perfectly prepared for the perfect night. Celestia was glad her younger sister enjoyed the festivities (even if she felt that the gala was as uptight as usual) and spent the night dancing and laughing with her sister in the castle gardens.

As the memory began to fade, the garden became quiet to Celestia once more. Desperate for more, Celestia flew to the streets of Canterlot and began quietly trotting to ensure no one was woken up by her sudden madness. She looked around the silent streets, fragments began to piece together in her mind as the past began to merge with the present. It was a few days after the Gala and the sisters were walking the streets of Canterlot. It was the middle of the day, a beautiful one at that. Every pony had come out to enjoy the day, activites ranging from shopping to frolicking on the grass. Luna was transfixed by this, staring at all these things in awe. Celestia giggled a little upon seeing Luna’s facial expression. She began to state a question to Luna:

“What are you thinking about my dear?”

Luna snapped out of her awe and turned to face her sister, poorly hiding her blushes of embarrassment.

“I was simply admiring all these ponies and their actions. They seem to really enjoy the day you have made for them, sister!”

Celestia giggled again.

“It wasn’t just me my dear. The Pegasi cleared the skies of all the rain clouds and the Unicorns helped me with raising the sun and making it extra beautiful today. Not to mention the markets stocked with food is thanks to the Earth ponies”

Luna began to look questioningly at her sister.

“When I raise the night, I have to handle the clouds and moon by myself. None of the ponies help me with that. No one clears the skies, only I raise the moon and no food is presented. That doesn’t seem fair for me”

Luna began to get a bit angry, so Celestia extended her wing around her.

“Just because the ponies are often asleep when you do your work doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate it. Your beautiful, silent nights allow the ponies to sleep peacefully and have the most wonderful of dreams, letting them enjoy my day so much more. So I guess you helped with my wonderful day too.” she told her uncertain sister, hugging her with her own wing. Luna’s anger began to subside with Celestia’s loving comment, but the feeling of sadness was still there.

“Tell you what” Celestia continued “I’ll help you with your raising of the moon tonight. Does that sound good?”

Luna looked at her sister, a small smile on her face.

“That would be nice, thank you sister.”

The memory began to shatter now, returning to fragments once more. Celestia sighed, knowing full well she was running out of fond memories to revisit. Still, she had to keep going. She had to recount the whole story, right to the end. She had to keep the memories fresh in her head, the good and the bad. That was her punishment, as pathetic as it was.
She flew back to the palace, flashes of the slowly dwindling happy memories appearing before her mid flight as she watched the lands below her. When the castle gate came into view, another memory began to form, one she knew marked the end of her joyful fragments of the past. It was a few years after the talk on that beautiful day and it was time for the Grand Galloping Gala once again. This time however, Luna was not her once excited self. The years had not been kind to her, her growing bitterness and sadness stirring in her heart. Celestia was completely oblivious to why, always putting it down to just a bad day or something along those lines. This particular day however, Luna tried her best to create the most beautiful night possible. Whilst she did not meet the Gala with the excitement she used to have, she still loved the ceremony. It was one of the few nights where people could properly appreciate the work she does and she always tried to bring her best as a result. It was fairly early into the night and they were still introducing guests coming in from all walks of life. Ponyville, Canterlot, Manehattan, you name it. Celestia and Luna made their usual greetings and kept the line moving, when Luna overheard a nearby comment.

“I do hope they decide to host the Gala during the day next year, the night is always so drab”

Celestia heard the comment as well and quickly came to her sister's aid.

“Don’t listen to them sister, your night is the most lovely it’s ever been” Celestia assured to her sister.

As the night went on however, the mentality appeared to be shared amongst all the guests .

“Why couldn’t this be during the day? All the animals are wide awake and singing then.”

“It’s so cold at night, the day is so much warmer and nicer”

“Gosh it’s so dark. Wish we could have some sunlight so we could see those beautiful flowers”

As the comments began to grow, so did Luna’s anger. Celestia kept trying to assure her, but it was quickly losing its effectiveness.The final straw came from one comment from a particularly snobby pony.

“The night is so dull, I wish Celestia could brighten it up a little.”

Luna snapped. Tears began rolling down her eyes as she began to stomp in anger. Celestia tried her best to calm her down but Luna was too far gone in her rage.

“They don’t even care!” Luna yelled angrily, running back to her chambers shortly afterwards. Celestia chased after her, trying to get through to her. Eventually Luna made it to her chambers and slammed the door shut in Celestia’s face.

“Luna, please!” cried Celestia “I’m sorry about what those people said but your moonlit nights are so wonderful, especially to me! Maybe those ponies don’t appreciate what you do, but there are plenty more who do! I appreciate what you do! Please, come on out?”

Celestia was met with the continuous wails and screams coming from behind the door. It was clear Luna was in no mood to talk to anyone at the time.

“Alright Luna, I’ll talk to you tomorrow morning ok?” pleaded Celestia “Take as much time as you need.”

As Celestia began walking back to the Gala, she noticed the sounds of wailing began to subside. Hopefully she would be in a better mood tomorrow, she hoped.

Of course tomorrow never came, and as the memory began to shatter once more Celestia began to quake. The fragmented memories of Nightmare Moon began to resurface in her mind and the choice she had to make for the sake of Equestria. She tried to remember it, like every other day she’s tried. Through sheer will she tried to piece the memory together, but in the end it collapsed into pieces. She couldn’t do it. Even after all this time, the memory of banishing her sister was still too much for her to bear, the guilt too heavy to lift. Sighing and vowing to try again tomorrow, Celestia started making her way back to the balcony. She needed to raise the sun, it was late enough as it was.

As she slowly trotted her way onto the balcony, one last memory snaked into her mind. It wasn’t hard to piece together, it was burned into her mind. The first Summer Sun Celebration without her sister. It was a moment that she couldn’t forget, wouldn’t allow herself to. She walked up to her balcony, with thousands upon thousands of ponies cheering her name. They were all here praising her defeat of Nightmare Moon, for keeping Equestria in perfect harmony. The festivities were in full swing and Celestia was the most loved pony in Equestria. Everyone was having a good time and celebrating.

Except Celestia.

She kept her outward appearance for the sake of the crowds, but beneath that she felt so desolate and lonely. Today wasn’t a day worth celebrating, it was just a constant reminder of losing a sister. When she walked into that crowd, all she could feel was guilt. Their smiling faces and joyous laughter, it filled her with guilt and rage. They didn’t appreciate Luna at all, she realised. She had to send her younger sister, the one spark of family she had left, to the moon for a thousand years for some ponies who never even appreciated what Luna did for them. These thoughts plagued her mind as she raised the sun, her loneliness hitting it’s peak when the sun hit its peak. Whilst the ponies partied below, Celestia fled back to her room, tears flowing down her face and hitting the cold marble below her. She was so guilt-ridden, so angry, so lonely. She wanted her sister back so badly, more than anything in the world, and she was only a year into her wait. Her chamber doors swung open and Celestia dived into her bed, drenching the sheets in her tears. She hoped the guilt would die down in the future, that eventually the pain would subside and she would come to accept what she did to her sister.

As the final memory began to fade, Celestia began the magic to lower the moon and raise the sun. As her sister's face began to sink over the horizon, the tears began to flow again. She placed her hooves on the railing, burying her face in her arms as the sun hit its peak and the world below her began to wake up. She was crying just as hard as the days and months before. Centuries had gone by for Celestia, but the feelings of guilt and loneliness were as strong as the day she banished her beloved sister.

Cleaning her face up, Celestia composed herself. She had royal duties to do, she had to carry on. Burying her feelings as best as she could, she walked to her throne room to prepare for her daily duties.

Making sure to close Luna’s bedroom door on the way there.

Author's Note

I hope you enjoyed my first fan fic! If you have any comments please feel free to leave em for me to read! I'll read as many as I can!