Cold N Flu Crusaders

by Brass Polish

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Zecora, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Rarity
Length: 4139

Sweetie Belle has a terrible time with a cold, and so do her sister, her classmates, and her fellow Crusaders. Eventually, the whole town of Ponyville bears the brunt of it…

Sweetie Belle has a terrible time with a cold, and so do her sister, her classmates, and her fellow Crusaders. Eventually, the whole town of Ponyville bears the brunt of it…

Published 2016-01-30 23:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-30 23:20:02 UTC

1 First Snowfall

The Running of the Leaves had come and gone (with Carrot Top taking 1st place this year), and Cloudsdale had dropped by Ponyville unloading tons of snow.

“Let the fun begin!” Sweetie Belle called to Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, Nyx, Lazybug, Twist, Gilt Eyes, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon.

The first snowfall of the year was always something of a celebration for Ponyville. Nopony had a name for it or anything, but everypony more or less did the same thing. Tobogganing, building snowmares, snowball fights, ice skating and hockey; the works. It was also normal on this occasion or everypony to don hats, jackets, boots, and/or scarves; and sometimes ponies who are having snowballs fights work up such a sweat, they take their winter clothes off. This is what most of the Cutie Mark Crusaders found themselves doing. Only Sweetie Belle, Nyx, and Lazybug kept their hats and coats on while the snowballs were flying about.

“How do you stay warm?” Silver Spoon asked Lazybug. “Aren’t you a plant?”

“No!” snapped Lazybug. “I’m a mutant!”

“Sorry,” said Silver Spoon. “But you do rely on water, don’t you?”

“Snow is water,” said Lazybug. “And I’m still warm blooded. So…”

He was cut off by a snowball to the face, some of which got into his mouth.

“Gotcha, Lazybug!” cackled Sweetie Belle from behind the Wolf River Tree.

Silver Spoon was about to return fire, but not for the first time, Gilt Eyes crept up to her unawares and magiced her glasses off. Lazybug ended up taking another hit.

“Take off, Gilt Eyes!” roared Silver Spoon, listening to Sweetie Belle laughing.

No one had been keeping score of any kind, but by the end of the day, the clear winner had to be Sweetie Belle. The only snow to be seen on her was on her boots. The eight other foals were all out of breath, pink in the face, shivering, and covered in clumps of packing snow.

“Too bad my protective zap apple magic doesn’t ward off snowballs,” panted Lazybug.

Sweetie Belle offered to buy everyone hot chocolates at Sugarcube Corner, regardless of her victory.

Sweetie Belle wasn’t faring as well the following morning. She woke up before sunrise gasping. Her throat was killing her, and she couldn’t breathe through her nose at all.

“Deary me,” sighed Rarity minutes after she woke up. “You’ve caught a cold.”

Sweetie Belle needn’t have been told. The short time she’d been blowing her nose, gulping down water, and spitting into the waste basket felt like a lifetime to her.

“It’s back to bed with you, sweetheart,” Rarity insisted.

Again, she needn’t have bothered. Sweetie Belle wanted to do nothing else with her nose-clogging, hacking cough-endusing, ear-popping, phlegm-horking, chest-aching, eye-watering cold. It wasn’t a school day, so at first, she didn’t think she was missing much. But she awoke at midday, feeling even worse than before, to the sound of indistinct chatter from beyond her window. She lifted her head as far as she could, not wishing to leave her bed, and was surprised to see Lazybug, Nyx, Gilt Eyes, and Silver Spoon walking about with snowshoes. None of them looked even remotely sick, although they did appear a bit bothered.

Lazybug got a snowball in his mouth, and Nyx was shaking the whole time, so why don’t any of them have colds? she wondered.

The next time Sweetie Belle was woken up, she still felt horrible to not be sleeping. She was happy however to see that Rarity had gone to the Everfree Forest to fetch Zecora. The zebra had arrived with several remedies to soothe Sweetie Belle’s throat and reduce her congestion.

“The first victim of winter has been claimed,” sighed Zecora. “Your cold will not be easily tamed.”

“I just don’t get it,” wheezed Sweetie Belle. “I didn’t take my scarf or my boots off, and I didn’t get much snow on me. So why is my cold so bad?”

“There are things in life that can’t be helped,” Zecora said. “No matter the methods we have developed.”

That’s a cheat, Sweetie Bell thought.

“Best let the medicine do its work. And try not to let the annoyances drive you berserk,” advised Zecora.

“I’ll try,” sighed Sweetie Belle, promptly hacking up a wad of phlegm as big as Seabreeze.

Sweetie Belle had not improved the following day, so Rarity kept her home from school. Apple Bloom brought her homework in the afternoon.

“What did you do that for?” groaned Sweetie Belle. “I’m just sleeping all day. I won’t have time to do any homework.”

“You mean you’re not doing anything?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Every second I’m awake is horrible,” Sweetie Belle’s statement was punctuated by a tumultuous cough.

“I better get outta here before ya get me infected,” Apple Bloom backed out of the room.

“Thanks a lot,” Sweetie Belle griped.

Why am I so mad? I didn’t want her to stick around anyway. she thought after Apple Bloom had left.

She glanced at the two sheets of paper Apple Bloom had delivered. One was a passage from Equestrian Literature Abridged, the other was a fill-in-the-blanks. The questions were in order as well, so this would be pretty simple homework. Sweetie Belle didn’t bother.

Rarity provided hot drinks and tissue boxes for the five days Sweetie Belle had been bedridden, and she’d removed mounds of used tissues and cough candy wrappers from her room at the same time. Come the weekend, she thought perhaps Sweetie ought to return to class on Monday.

“I don’t just spit in my garbage when you’re in the room!” protested Sweetie Belle, throwing her voice out.

“Yes, I am repulsed by that, but that’s not why I’d like you to go back to school,” insisted Rarity. “Your cold symptoms just aren’t getting any better. It wouldn’t make a difference whether you rode them out in your room or at school. And to be honest, I don’t see you getting over your cold any time soon.”

“But Zecora said I had to let her remedies work!” objected Sweetie Belle.

“If you wish, you may bring a few things along to school tomorrow. A thermos of tea, some cough drops, a blanket…”

Sweetie Belle huffed.

“Well, listen. I also have to run to Canterlot on Monday,” Rarity went on. “New designs to deliver and the like.”

“Couldn’t you ask somepony else…?”

“But when you’re feeling better,” interrupted Rarity, “I’ll take you on a trip there one day to meet Sassy Saddles. How’s that?”

Sweetie Belle had never been to Rarity’s new boutique, nor had she met her manager. So she agreed. But as the weekend crept along, Sweetie Belle began to suspect that Rarity didn’t ask one of her friends to take care of Sweetie Belle in her place because she didn’t want to subject anypony else to her gruesome coughing and spitting.

Perhaps it was just because of her bad mood, but Sweetie Belle thought none of the ponies she saw on her way to school looked anywhere near as enthusiastic about the snow as they had on two Saturdays ago. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were startled when they saw Sweetie Belle lumbering towards the schoolhouse beneath a blanket and spitting on the ground along the way.

“Somehow, ya look even worse than when I saw ya last week,” Apple Bloom grimaced.

“I’d rather stay in bed,” Sweetie Belle moaned.

“Well, colds do last a long time,” said Scootaloo. “It’s just one of those things you gotta put up with.”

Sweetie Belle made a rather large hole in the snow next to her.

“Ew! Whatcha gonna do about that phlegm in yer throat?” asked Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle shrugged. “Suck on a cough candy all through class, I guess.”

The smell of the cough drops proved very distracting for Sweetie Belle’s classmates during Cheerilee’s lesson, and her cough drove everypony insane during recess.

“Why would your sister let you come here?” asked Diamond Tiara. “You’re gonna get everyone in class infected.”

Sweetie Belle spat on the frozen sand. She didn’t actually have phlegm in her throat; she just wanted Diamond Tiara to leave her alone.

“So Sweetie Belle, if you’re coming to school for the rest of the week, does that mean you can play with us when school’s out?” asked Nyx.

Again, Sweetie Belle feigned a spit, prompting Nyx to back away.

“Sweetie Belle, don’t get crabby,” Scootaloo insisted. “If you stop thinking about your throat and runny nose, you’ll be able to have a normal day. Come on. Let’s play tetherball.”

About four minutes in, Sweetie Belle accidentally sneezed on the ball.

“Well… once it freezes, it’ll come right off,” reasoned Apple Bloom.

Diamond Tiara was right. A cold did spread around the class the day after Sweetie Belle returned.

“Nyx, why are you wearing your glasses?” asked Twist.

“No reason,” Nyx fidgeted.

Gilt Eyes was no novice to yanking glasses off a filly’s face.

“Holy smokes! You look like a demon!”

Nyx sniffled, and then sneezed.

“Sorry, but it’s not like we can blame you,” Gilt Eyes said, passing the jinxed glasses back to Nyx. “We all know it’s because of Sweetie Belle.”

During class that day, Gilt Eyes took a few used tissues to the back of his head. Cheerilee gave Sweetie Belle detention for this, but it didn’t last long; possibly because the smell of minty gum was too overpowering.

“Alright, class. Let’s move on to our next lesson,” Cheerilee said after recess. “Could all the unicorns in the class please come to the front of the room? Thank you. Now then, who knows the average ratio of unicorns whose magical auras match their eye colours?”

Rumble raised his hoof. “Five in six?”

“Correct. So, since we have six unicorns in this class, let’s see if we can match that statistic.”

One by one, the unicorn foals standing in front of the chalkboard lit their horns. Nyx was hoping that her aura would not be red. But it was Sweetie Belle who stole the show. When her turn came, she sneezed, ejecting a large snot bubble, which stuck to her horn.

Sweetie Belle had managed to skirt over the incident until the next morning when she found that Nyx’s eyes were back to normal (as in their regular colour), and that she displayed very few signs of illness.

“I still need my blanket and cough drops!” she groused. “How did you recover so quickly?!”

“I don’t know,” Nyx shuddered.

“You must’ve done something,” pressed Sweetie Belle. “It’s Twilight, isn’t it? She put a spell on you!”

“She didn’t!” insisted Nyx.

“Sweetie Belle, leave Nyx alone!” Scootaloo snapped. “What did I tell you? You just gotta wait it out.”

“I did! I’ve still got it, and she doesn’t!”

“Just get over it,” Scootaloo really wasn’t thinking.

“I’ve been trying to get over it for almost two weeks!”

Scootaloo’s replay was drowned out by a raspy, horking cough. Sweetie Belle said no more for the rest of the day.

Author's Note

Basically inspired by the longest and most terrible cold I've ever had... actually, I downplayed it here to avoid upsetting anyone. That's not something I normally do, but believe me, this cold was miserable.

2 Wolf River Tree

Rarity had returned from Canterlot, but quickly wished she’s stayed there. She was insistent that she and Sweetie Belle should have dinner together at the dining room table, but she couldn’t stand the sight nor sound of Sweetie Belle’s spitting. She insisted that she stop this unladylikeness, but the only way Sweetie Belle could do this was by sucking on lozenges, which spoiled the taste of her food. It didn’t even matter that Rarity had made soup in the hopes that it would soothe her sick sister’s throat; it didn’t help, and the flavour was ruined for her.

“You’ve barely eaten at all since you caught that cold,” said Rarity. “That could be what’s making your recovery so slow. And you know you can’t survive on ice cream alone. Remember what happened to Spikey-Wikey when Twilight was visited by her future self.”

“Ha! A stomach ache would be a picnic compared to this,” complained Sweetie Belle.

“Perhaps you ought to take a bath,” Rarity pointed towards the bathroom to indicate that this was not a mere suggestion.

Sweetie Belle scowled. “But the water makes me feel funny.”

“Don’t stay in the tub too long this time, and you won’t get so wrinkly,” insisted Rarity. “You know, perhaps you’d do better with a spa appointment.”

“It’s always the spa with you, isn’t it Rarity?” griped Sweetie Belle.

“Oh, stay in the tub all you want,” sighed Rarity, taking her own bowl of soup off to a different room.

Breakfast was no less unpleasant. Rarity hoped the other Cutie Mark Crusaders would invite Sweetie Belle to play with them after class; although the chances of her accepting were slim. Since Tuesday, a different foal had arrived at Carousel Boutique to walk Sweetie Belle to school. Nopony wanted to do it more than once. This morning, it was Nyx.

“You’re a good sport, Nyx,” smiled Rarity when she answered the door. “I’ve heard my sister has been short with you.”

“Oh. Well, I know she’s just upset that she can’t get over her cold,” Nyx attempted to smile.

“Hm. Why are you carrying Twilight’s correspondence book?” Rarity pointed to Nyx’s school bag.

“Oh. She had to go to the alternate world for something,” Nyx told her.

Why couldn’t she have taken me with her? Rarity thought bitterly.

“She gave me this in case something came up here,” finished Nyx.

Sweetie Belle waddled towards the front door.

“Are you…?”

Nyx couldn’t bring herself to ask the question. The yellow dripping from Sweetie Belle’s nose gave her the answer.

“Uh, Sweetie Belle,” Rarity said, “perhaps you should take a clean blanket with you?”

Sweetie Belle grunted and turned around.

“Nyx, might I ask you to invite Sweetie Belle to so do something after school?” Rarity whispered. “I do have a hefty order to fill today and I would like ample time to carry out my work.”

Nyx couldn’t say no to Rarity, but she wished she could.

Unfortunately, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo weren’t keen on playing with Sweetie Belle that cloudy afternoon.

“We’d rather wait until her cold goes away,” admitted Apple Bloom. “She’s no fun while she’s sick.”

“But her sister has work to do,” said Nyx.

“Maybe somepony else can keep her occupied,” Scootaloo suggested.

There were no volunteers.

“I’ve got my own cold to worry about now,” said Dinky.

“I think I’d rather do my homework. Unlike her,” said Featherweight. “She’ll probably get detention anyway.”

“I’m playing the last level of Livid Phoenixes tonight,” said Button Mash. “And it’s not a two-player game.”

Even several of the honourary Cutie Mark Crusaders avoided the task.

“Me and mom are coming the house for spider egg sacks this evening,” said Lazybug.

“I wanna make some more peppermint sticks tonight,” said Twist. “My supply’s running low.”

“I’ve got training on how to make cheddar biscuits with Randolph,” said Diamond Tiara.

And so Sweetie Belle was never approached by any of her classmates, and after the final bell rang, she staggered home to Rarity applying a dyed lace trims to a row of frocks. But Rarity wasn’t going to leave it like this.

“I thought I told you to keep my sister occupied for the afternoon,” she said crossly to Nyx upon barging into the CMC clubhouse.

“Y-you didn’t tell me,” said Nyx, clutching Twilight’s correspondence book.

“We don’t want to hang out with Sweetie Belle until she’s better,” insisted Apple Bloom.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t have her in the house while I’m working today,” Rarity insisted. “This order is very important. Please come and invite my sister to play with you.”

“Fine,” huffed Scootaloo.

They had no need to go back to the boutique to see Sweetie Belle.

“You didn’t think I’d be suspicious when you left your oh-so-important sewing job?” Sweetie Belle croaked.

Rarity’s demeanour was no longer firm and blunt.

“I beg your pardon,” she said, “but I only need one afternoon. I have a lot on my plate at the moment without your… um… provisos.”

Sweetie Belle shot a glare at Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Nyx.

“Sorry I said we didn’t want to hang out with you,” sighed Scootaloo.

“Yeah. We know you’re going through a rough time, and we’d like to help,” put in Apple Bloom.

“It’s OK,” Sweetie Belle nodded, still sour faced. “So, what are we gonna do while Rarity’s working?”

Rarity took this as her cue to return to the boutique.

“We could go skating,” suggested Nyx. “I haven’t seen anyone out on the ice since that first snowfall.”

None of the Crusaders had any objections, so they each went to collect their ice skates and made their way to the pond.

“What do you mean you didn’t bring your skates?”

“That would’ve meant going back home,” frowned Sweetie Belle. “And Rarity doesn’t want me there.”

“She won’t mind if you go back to grab your skates,” said Scootaloo.

“I don’t wanna skate anyway,” Sweetie Belle slumped next to the Wolf River Tree. “I’m just here to get out of my sister’s mane.”

“Wanna use my skates?” Scootaloo offered.

“Nah.”

Scootaloo groaned. “You’re not gonna get over your cold either way, so quit moping around and have a little fun for once!”

They stared angrily at each other for a moment.

“We’ll be out on the ice when you’re done driving everyone insane,” Scootaloo turned and slid out on the frozen pond.

Sweetie Belle didn’t move. She just watched icily as the Wolf River Tree gave Scootaloo a playful push out to the pond’s surface.

“I knew she didn’t mean it when she said she was sorry,” she grumbled, spitting in the snow by the tree.

Suddenly, the Wolf River Tree lurched. Sweetie Belle shuffled quickly away from it as it leant forward towards the pond. It looked like it was trying to pull itself from its perch in the frozen bank.

“Guys! The tree’s…!”

Already, Sweetie Belle’s voice went out. She couldn’t give Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Nyx an adequate warning as the tree’s roots began to break the rock-hard ground around it. There wasn’t much wind, so Sweetie Belle threw her empty tissue box out to the ice as hard as she could. It succeeded in tripping Scootaloo.

“What are you…?!”

The Wolf River Tree leapt from the ground and crashed out onto the sheet of ice, cracking it into several portions. Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Nyx were stuck on a sheet of ice each.

“What’s that tree doing?!” cried Apple Bloom, as the large tree jumped into the freezing water. “It’s not Winter Wrap-Up time yet!”

The resulting wave caused Scootaloo and Nyx to surf to shore and wipe out on land. As Scootaloo picked herself up, she heard the tree splash about behind her.

“It’s after you!” exclaimed Nyx.

Scootaloo looked back at the pond, and sprinted away instantly, the Wolf River Tree stomping after her. Nyx bolted towards Twilight’s correspondence book, which had been lying by the tree before being flung aside, and frantically wrote an SOS message.

“Scootaloo, don’t run towards town!” Apple Bloom cried from the floating ice sheet she was still standing on.

But Scootaloo was too frightened and far away to hear.

The ground beneath Ponyville began to shake. There were few ponies outside, but the rumbling could be felt in the floors.

“It’s that tree!” exclaimed Thunderlane. “Everypony run!”

Scootaloo had calmed down enough to realise she was leading a rampaging giant to her home town, but by now, there were so few escape options.

“Where do I go?! What do I do?!” she wailed, not breaking stride.

The Wolf River Tree swung its branches and made a grab for Scootaloo. It missed, but Scootaloo tripped and rolled forward for a few yards before landing flat on her back. She gasped as she looked up at the huge tree making a second grab for her.

“I’m coming, Scootaloo!”

Twilight soared above Ponyville and raced towards the edge of town. She didn’t get to the scene before one of the Wolf River Tree’s branches swung out and grabbed Scootaloo, who screamed and flailed about.

“Cover your face!” called Twilight.

Scootaloo did so. Twilight cast her teleportation spell on Scootaloo. Scootaloo disappeared from the tree’s grasp, and as soon as she did…

Ka-Boom!

Bark, twigs, and pulp rained down on Ponyville, taking chunks out of rooftops, making holes in the ground, causing several small snowfalls, yet miraculously not hitting any ponies. Had Twilight not been shielding Scootaloo from the bursting tree, she might have managed to cast a force field over the town.

“Are you alright, Scootaloo?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Scootaloo was shaky, but relieved. “I don’t know what happened. That tree was always so playful.”

“Didn’t anyone tell you? It got infected by Venomodo spit. It gained a life of its own and tried to destroy the town until Pinkie Pie spat on it and made it adopt her own mannerisms,” Twilight explained. “I guess the effect Pinkie had on it wore off and it reverted to the Venomodo’s desires.”

“Unless,” Scootaloo frowned, “it got somepony else’s desires.”

“What do you mean?” asked Twilight.

“Somepony must’ve spit on it before it started chasing me,” said Scootaloo. “And I think I know who that pony was.”

“Maybe I did want to get Scootaloo for being a jerk,” Sweetie Belle groaned when Twilight asked her if she’d been spitting near the Wolf River Tree. “But…”

“Oh, I’m the jerk, am I?!” Scootaloo fumed. “At least I’m not a stick-in-the-mud about my cold.”

“You didn’t get a cold! And you should have! You took the most snowballs on the first day of winter, but I got the cold!” Sweetie Belle complained.

“So you wish I’d gotten your sickness, do you?” frowned Scootaloo.

“It did seem kinda unfair,” Nyx put in. “Sweetie Belle wasn’t a sore winner or anything. She bought us all hot chocolates after we were done. I’m- I’m not saying you deserved to be chased by that tree, Scootaloo. But… I just don’t know why this happened.”

Scootaloo sorted, but Sweetie Belle’s expression softened. She looked towards the town and the sound of complaining ponies.

“I think I know what Zecora meant now,” she said. “She told me that some things in life can’t be helped. She probably meant that everypony complains. It’s just what we do. If we don’t like something, we grumble about it.”

“In that case,” Apple Bloom called, “can somepony get me off this pond now?! I’ve been floating her for like ten minutes!”

“Remember how much fun we all had on the first day of winter?” asked Sweetie Belle after Twilight had returned Apple Bloom to solid ground. “The day after that, everypony got sick of it already. It seems like that happens every year.”

Twilight nodded. “Yeah. Everypony knows that winter’s an important season, but it seems like it’s only fun at first.”

“So I guess we can’t hold it against you for being such a sourpuss about your cold,” Scootaloo sighed. “I thought I was helping you by telling you to be patient, but all I was doing was causing you to lose your patience.”

“Yeah. And I should’ve took your complaining in stride,” said Sweetie Belle hoarsely. “I… I can’t keep talking.”

“Well, I’ll just assume you were going to apologise,” said Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle nodded.

“I’m sorry, too,” smiled Scootaloo.

She would have hugged Sweetie Belle, but she had an icicle hanging from each nostril.

It was certainly true that ponies are bound to complain when something bad or annoying happens. While the chunks of tree were being cleared away and the repairs were being made to various buildings and structures in the shivering cold, there was not a positive comment to be heard. However, when the mess was finally cleared up, the atmosphere in Ponyville lightened significantly. Pinkie Pie was unhappy to know that the Wolf River Tree she’d tamed was no more, but she managed to cheer up with help from her friends. As for Sweetie Belle, it took another week before her cold symptoms began to fade. Rarity and her classmates did their best not to complain about her, and she made an effort to keep her gripes to herself. A few times a day, someone would groan about Sweetie Belle’s cough, and she herself would lobby for ponies to leave her the heck alone. She knew not to take it harshly, as it was only equine nature.

Author's Note

As much as I like Zecora, she's still a pain to write dialogue for.