How To Train Your Dragon

by lordnyan

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 2018

The CMC find a book on training dragons, and attempt to use it on Spike in the hopes of attaining their cutie marks.

The CMC find a book on training dragons, and attempt to use it on Spike in the hopes of attaining their cutie marks.

Published 2016-01-30 23:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-30 23:10:02 UTC

Chapter 1

“You know, I really don't see how reading all these books is ever going to help us get our cutie marks.” Scootaloo said, throwing down the book she had been reading, and heaving a heavy sigh of boredom. “For that matter who in their right mind would even WANT a cutie mark in reading books. Sounds kind of lame if you ask me….. Eer, no offense Twilight.” She added as the lavender unicorn gave her a dark look.

“Oh come on Scootaloo, every pony loves to read a good book now and then, heck even Rainbow Dash reads books.” Apple Bloom replied from behind a copy of Animal Farm.

“Well she reads the Daring Doo books, but that's it. And those books all have action and danger in them”

“Still counts though” Apple Bloom replied putting her book down. “But yea, I don't think we are going to get our marks in reading either.” She sighed in disappointment glancing at her still vacant flank.

“Oh honestly you three are going way over board with this whole cutie mark nonsense!” Twilight said rolling her eyes. “Your cutie marks will come when it's time, and trying everything under Luna's moon isn't going to change that.”

“But we want them noooow!!! Not sometime in the future!” Apple Bloom exclaimed stopping a hoof to emphasize her frustration.

“Whatever, anyway I have to step out for a few minutes, could you please put the books back where you found them before you leave?” The fillies nodded and Twilight left them to pick up their mess.

“Well I guess we should get started so we can find something less boring to try.” Scootaloo said, picking up a stack of books and placing them on a shelf. “What do you think we should try next?”

“Well we could try going for our diving cutie marks” Apple Bloom suggested, “but the pool is closed today for cleaning.”

“That and we technically already tried that from a bridge!” Scootaloo reminded her.

“Oh….yea.” Apple Bloom said sheepishly. “What do you think we should do Sweetie Belle?”

“Huh?” the white unicorn filly stammered glancing up from the book she was reading.

“HEY, pay attention!” Scootaloo snapped at her. “We're no longer trying to go for our nerd cutie marks, so what do you want to do next?”

“Oh weeeell, we could try dragon training.” Sweetie Belle suggested.
“Dragon training?” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo asked in union.

Sweetie Belle showed them the book she had been reading entitled (How to Train Your Dragon). “See this book tells everything we need to know about dragon training, it could be fun!”

“Well it does sound fun and all but where are we going to find a dragon to train.” Scootaloo asked.

Sweetie Belle just stared at her in disbelief for a few seconds. “REALLY?” She asked “you mean you actually can't think of a single dragon around these parts we could try training?”

“You mean Spike?” Scootaloo asked.

“No, Diamond Tiara.” Sweetie Belle said sarcastically “Of course Spike!!! He is a baby dragon after all, AND we shouldn't have to worry about him killing us if we fail.”

“That's true, and it might be fun getting him to do some funny tricks for us.”

“That and Sweetie Belle will have him fully under her spell when she FINALLY unveils her undying love to him!” Apple Bloom jibed, resulting in her getting clobbered in the face with a dictionary thrown by Sweetie Belle.

“That dictionary really hurt you know!” Apple Bloom complained rubbing her forehead with her hoof.

“Oh stop being such a cry baby, come on were here.” Sweetie Belle shot back.

The three fillies entered Sugarcube corner to find Spike there noming on a sapphire and ruby cupcake specially made for him by Pinkie Pie. “Wow this is delicious Pinkie, thanks a lot!” Spike said through a mouthful of food.

“Aww it no biggie, anything for Equestrias most helpful dragon!” Pinkie Pie said patting him on the head before returning to the kitchen.

“Well Sweetie looks like you've got competition for your Spikey Wikey!” Apple Bloom teased.
Sweetie Belle blushed and responded with a good thwack upside Apple Blooms head. “Oooow!” Apple Bloom cried rubbing her head again.

“Oh, hey girls!” Spike said after turning around to see what all the commotion was. “What's going on?”

“Sweetie Belle wants to ask you to marry OOOWW!!!” Apple Bloom screamed as Sweetie interrupted her by stomping hard on her hoof.

“We got an idea we want to try for our cutie marks, but we need your help.” Scootaloo responded shaking her head at her friends.

“Didn't Twilight already tell you that you have to…”

“Wait till the time is right” Sweetie Belle finished for him. “Yes we’ve heard this countless times, but we don't want to wait.”

“You know it's real cute how you finish each other’s sentences!” Apple Bloom jibbed, quickly ducking to avoid a chair swung at her by Sweetie Belle’s magic.

“Anyway, we want to try Dragon Training next, so since you are the only dragon around these parts we want you to help.” Scootaloo continued.

“Eer, dragon training?” Spike asked. “What do you think I am, some kind of a dog?”

"I can make it worth your while.” Sweetie Belle bribed.

"Eer, shouldn't you two date for a while first before trying that?” Apple Bloom asked

Sweetie Belle lifted the giant chest she had been carrying on her wagon with a flash of her horn, making sure to move it in such a way that it clipped Apple Bloom on the back her head she placed it on the ground in front of Spike and opened it. Inside were at least over two hundred sapphires and rubies, all gleaming from the ceiling lights above.

“WOOOW!” Spike gasped drooling at the sight of the rubies. He reach a claw over to grab a few, but Sweetie quickly moved it away from his grasp. “Not so fast!” She said. “You can them, all of them, but only after you help us try and get our dragon training cutie marks!”

“Wait a sec, where did you get all these?” Scootaloo asked.

“From Rarity’s personal collection.” Sweetie responded nonchalantly.

“Is Rarity aware of it?” She asked already sure of the answer.

“So do we have a deal then?” Sweetie asked ignoring Scootaloo,

“Yea, yea, I guess having a feast of delicious gems is worth a little humiliation.” Spike said, still drooling over the rubies.

“You know Sweetie, I think you are supposed to put one of these in a ring before proposing to him, right?” Apple Bloom asked. Sweetie responded by shoving her into the chest along with the gems, and slamming the top shut.

“You can have Apple Bloom as your personal slave as well!” She added.

Later the four of them were outside the Ponyville outskirts, Sweetie had her nose buried in the book while Scootaloo and a very disgruntled Apple Bloom set up the training course for Spike.

“You know I could have died from asphyxiation in there, right?” Apple Bloom asked as she finished tying a tire to a nearby overhanging branch.

Sweetie Belle ignored her as she finished checking the book and slammed it shut, placing it on the ground beside her. “Ok so here's what we have to do.”

“Hey wait a minute, why do YOU get to be the leader here anyway?” Apple Bloom asked

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes before advancing on Apple Bloom “I'll give you three good reasons! Firstly because this was MY idea, secondly because this requires way more brain power then YOU could possibly muster, and THIRDLY BECAUSE I WILL SHOVE YOU BACK IN THAT CHEST IF YOU DON’T SHUT UP, AND THIS TIME I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!”

“Those are very good reasons.” Apple Bloom agreed backing away nervously from Sweetie Belle. “This cutie mark idea is not only getting ridiculous, it's getting too dangerous.” She added to Scootaloo after Sweetie had turned her attention back to Spike.

"Ok, so this obstacle course has been set up to test all your most basic dragon abilities, as well as teach you to control some of your more primitive instincts.”

"Primitive instincts? I don't see a stripper pole anywhere?” Apple Bloom asked.

“OH MY CELESTIAL APPLE BLOOM, I SWEAR IF YOU DON’T SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!” Sweetie Belle raised a hoof ready to strike at her, but Scootaloo stepped between them.

“Honestly, both of you. How are we EVER going to get our cutie marks if you two can't last two seconds without fighting?” She said shoving them away from each other.

“Any way, as I was TRYING to say before” Sweetie continued shooting Apple Bloom a dark look “You start the course with a simple fire breathing target practice, try to hit as many of the red targets as you can, avoiding the green ones. Next is the maze where you need to find your way to the exist while avoiding the lure of the gems we have placed around the maze, they will only lead to dead ends filled with mud traps, just remember you are getting more re gems then are in that maze after this is done!” She added as Spike started drooling again. “After that is a strength test where you must toss a fifty tone Boulder as far as you possibly can across the lake, try and at least get it all the way to the other side. Finally there will be a flying test where.”

“Um, Sweetie. I don't have wings, how am I supposed to fly?” Spike pointed out interrupting her.

“Oh, right!” Sweetie said sheepishly “well then we will scratch that part and have the last one be the strength test.

"So at which point of this challenge are you going to be stripping again?” Apple Bloom asked “I think I see a good pole you can use over there.”

“NO ONE IS STRIPPING IN THIS CHALLENGE!!!!” Sweetie screamed.

“What is stripping anyway?” Spike asked.

All three of them just stared back at Spike dumbfounded before Apple Bloom turned to Sweetie. “You’re actually in love with this moron?”

“I DON’T LOVE HIM!!!” Sweetie screamed back at her.

Spike got through most of these without a single hitch. He hit almost all the red targets and none of the green ones in the first challenge, and got through the maze only getting distracted by the entrancing aroma of the hidden gems once. He even managed to pick up and throw the boulder quite a distance…..in entirely the wrong direction, and headed straight for Ponyville. The four of them watched it’s trajectory as it arced over and landed smack dab in the middle of town with a loud thunder boom that shook the ground below them.

“….Er. Well you certainly threw it a good distance.” Sweetie Belle stammered checking off her clipboard. “Can’t really give you points for aim though.”

“We are so dead aren’t we?” Scootaloo said still staring dumbfounded in the direction Spike had flung the boulder.

“What do you mean? Technically it was Spike who threw it!!” Apple Bloom exclaimed pointing at Spike accusingly.

“Yea but only because we asked him to!” Scootaloo pointed out.

“Well look, nopony saw us throw it, so let’s just walk away before somepony comes to investigate and we can pretend we knew nothing about it.” Sweetie suggested, dropping the clipboard to the dusty ground.

With that the three of them turned around and began heading toward their clubhouse to hide for a few hours, but hadn’t gone too far before Spike called out to them.

“Hey, so do I still get the gems then?” He asked, his mouth yet again drooling as he leaned over the glistening morsels.

“Yea, sure. Help yourself” Sweetie responded without even turning around.

“Aren’t you suppose to get down on one knee before giving him the one of those rocks?” Apple Bloom chided.

The last thing Apple Bloom remembered after that was a whirl of white as Sweetie Belle married both her back hooves into her face.

The End.