Love the Mint

by Lunar 3cl1ps3

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance
Length: 1526

Twilight Sparkle gets 'it' on.

Suffering from the Forever Alone Blues, TwilightSparkle attends a party, looking for new friends. She finds her soulmate in an unexpected pony.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-11 06:14:02 UTC

1

I was reluctant to go. I had never been to a party like this before, just thrown for the sake of having a party.

I walked through the door, and was met with a haze of smoke. I made out some familiar ponies through the haze, smoking things I couldn't identify (I'd start talking to them to find out they couldn't either), drinking something probably poisonous, yelling at each other over the throbbing bass beat. I'd never heard this kind of dance music, it was fast and heavy. Pinkie Pie called it hardstyle as she lead me through, introducing me to ponies so stoned, they probably wouldn't remember me later, if they were even aware of anything now.

I was a bit nervous, the atmosphere felt downright dangerous to me.

'Pinkie Pie, I'm not feeling too good, I think I should go now.'

She said to me,'What do you mean, you've only been here a few minutes, I mean you haven't had anything to drink yet!'

Almost as if on cue, I heard somepony very close to me vomiting very violently.

'But Pinkie, I don't want to drink.'

'Well, why else would you go to one of these?'

I thought for a second. 'Social aspect?'

So Pinkie grabbed me and dragged me out to the dance floor (living room with furniture shoved against the wall), 'Well, then I guess you should come over here!'

She pushed me to a stallion I recognized as Noteworthy, bumping me into him. He turned around, a drink in one hoof.

I tried to make out words, but...

'I- uh- uh, hi.'

He said nothing, but stared blankly.

'I- I'm Twilight Sparkle.'

'We've met.'

...

'...Right.'

We turned back around, I said to Pinkie Pie,'Well, that could have gone better.'

'Don't worry, you'll meet somepony you like, I'm sure!'

I doubt it, I thought to myself, as she guided me elsewhere.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, I heard a stream of profanity, a Tarzan yell, then felt a thud and was on my back.

Somepony had gotten too rambunctious and had attempted a crowd-dive from a table into a sparse crowd. Here the blue mare was, on top of me, her booze-breath an inch from my face. The half-digested party food she had purged in mid-air spattered around us.

'S-sorry,' she slurred.

'It's alright,' I said in a tone that would suggest it wasn't.

I waited for her to get off, then bumped her, but she just kept staring at me, expelling vodka fumes directly into my lungs, with a merry smirk on her face and in her bloodshot eyes.

'I'm kh-Colgate.'

'I'm Twilight Sparkle,' I replied as I threw her off me, and got up.

I looked for Pinkie Pie, but she was gone.

Colgate was at my side suddenly, and said something I can only assume was 'So how are you doing, Twilight?' She somehow managed to be somewhat understandable while still dropping almost all consonants from her speech.

'Well, I was doing well, until my friend left me.'

'Awwwwww shit, that sucks.'

'Yes, it does.'

'W-wahey, guess what, Ivan looging for my friens, and eh all fucked off.'

'And?'

'And we and and we should and we should hang out.'

Oh no.

'Okay.'

And she immediately threw a sweaty foreleg over my back.

Colgate was loud, rude, and dumb with 0.15 blood alcohol, but as we hung out (she followed me) and the booze was worked out of her system, she began to reveal herself as a much better pony to be around. I think it was around 11pm when I realized I actually liked her. She had been explaining all she knew about the music that was playing, which was pretty much the only thing that came out if her mouth that I paid attention to, because I knew naught.

Hardstyle was like normal dance music, but faster and heavier. Gabba was noisier and faster than hardstyle. Breakcore and raggacore were like gabba with more syncopation in the beat, and lots of breaks. Grind was my least favourite, the beat was very fast and the drums sounded like a machine gun.

Once Colgate's intelligence had returned to a level that wouldn't get her executed in Nazi Germany, she wanted to dance with me. By this point I had warmed to her, but I couldn't dance, regardless of who it was with, and I wasn't sure of her anyway.

'Colgate, I'm not sure of my dancing skills.'

'Oh, Twilight, that's not a problem, look at everypony else.'

I looked, nopony was really dancing so much as they were whipping their manes in circles.

But they formed a group around one pony, on her hindlegs, doing a sort of hoof-sliding dance I'd heard was called 'shuffle'. It didn't matter which way she seemed to be walking, she could move in whatever direction she pleased. I thought it was amazing.

Colgate faced me in a sort, as she moved her head at half the speed of the beat, her mane flowing beautifully as she moved. I wasn't sure of it, but Colgate seemed to be enjoying herself, so I gradually began to do as she did.

I liked the feeling. I'm not sure what feeling that was exactly, I describe it as relaxing.

Our manes flew through the air, sometimes they swept across each other, we could each feel it as they flowed like fluid.

The song ended, and I stopped and looked around. There weren't any couples that seemed like real couples, there were a few dry-bumpers but they switched partners regularly. Then the DJ announced, 'And here's one for the lovebirds over by the plush red couch!'

He put on a very staccatoed hardstyle song, as I looked for the lovebirds, apparently I hadn't seen them. The first thing I saw was... A plush red couch. Surely the DJ didn't mean us...

She did. Everypony, I mean EVERYPONY, was cheering and whooping. Oh god no. I looked through the crowd, and saw Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy laughing their asses off. Well, Rainbow Dash anyway was anyway. Colgate, not yet conpletely there, leaned on me giggling.

The song's lyrics helped distract me from this.

Love is on fire

A burning heart

As if I have known it from the start

It was love at first sight

No matter of time

That I will make you mine

Colgate was too close, not across from me anymore but parallel to me.

She bumped against me often, eventually I stopped caring, realizing it would never stop. I couldn't tell if her histrionic behaviour was acting, if the ponies had put the idea of a relationship in her boozy head, or if she seriously thought this way about me.

It certainly wasn't that I had no care for her, but I couldn't think of myself having feelings for her, though it was still a possibility. I wasn't sure. I carried on dancing regardless, casually accepting the blue, sweaty cheek rubbing against mine.

Yeah! Da dada Dow!

Yeah! Da dada Dow!

Yeah! Da dada Dow!

Yeah! Da dada Dow!

The song carried on.

It was 3am, and the party was clearing out.

Colgate had gotten me to drink, and she had dropped herself back to the level I had met her at.

I was probably over the driving limit, but I didn't know anypony there and Colgate had probably forgotten what a car was, so I took her home.

'I unno, Hwilight, you're purry drunk, I don't thing you shivvy driving,' she slurred as I got in the driver seat.

'Hey, I'm better off than you are.'

'Ina drunk.'

'Colgate, can you even remember your birthday?'

'Who? And Ina drunk, I I I I I'm just tipsy is all.'

'Huge under-exaggeration.'

'When?'

And we pulled out of the driveway, and off.

After ten minutes of driving it occurred to me to ask her where she lived.

'Vack ere,' she hiccuped.

'You mean, a couple of blocks back? Why didn't you tell me when we passed the street?'

'No, v-b-back. Adee other ouse.'

'The one we just left?'

'Wha bout it?'

'You live there?'

'Where?'

Fuck.

'Do you live at the house we had the party at?!'

'Yeah.'

By this point, we were already at my home, and I had enough judgment left to say that I shouldn't be driving, so I said that she should just stay here.

She didn't care.

She walked into the house and looked around the library, and made some odd groaning sound of approval.

'So,' she started, 'where my sleepin'?'

I hadn't thought of that. 'Well, there are a couple couches, and there's Spike's bed-' a flat NO came from his bed, 'I guess it's just the couches. Sorry, Colgate, I don't have company often.'

'Ah azokay, Ine just sleep wiyyou.'

'Oh-'

She had taken the couple thing seriously.

I guided her to my bedroom, and began to explain my intentions.

'So, I'll just go under the top sheet, so it's not awkward.'

Colgate didn't say anything as she fell on the bed and fell asleep.

I got under only the top layer anyway and soon I fell asleep too.