Love Call of the Sirens

Chapters

Chapter 1: Special Delivery
Chapter 2: Ground Rules
Chapter 3: Whhheeeeeeeeeee!
Chapter 4: You Think You’re so Pretty
Chapter 5: Why do We Fall?
Chapter 6: The Verdict
Part 1: Epilogue
Chapter 7: The Whip of Moods

Chapter 1: Special Delivery

Love Tap and Microchip of number four, Bridle Road, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very—

“MOM! Sweetie Belle asked me if I wanted to do something called ‘base jumping’ off that big crystal castle right outside our window!”

“Not now, Sweetie!”

Right, let me try again…

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of magic, it was the age of—

“But whatever it is, it has the word ‘base’ in it and I really want to go!”

“Button, honey! Mommy is busy! Just wait a bit!”

Okay, one more time.

Call me Love Ta—

“BUUUUUT MoOoOoOoOoOoOM! I REALLY WANT TO GoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO!”

“NOT NOW, BUTTON! MOMMY HAS A VERY IMPORTANT GUEST OVER!”

Love Tap quickly inhaled as much air as she could and then let it all out, hoping the escaping breath would grab hold of her anxiety and take it with it.

It didn’t.

The fact of the matter was that the Princess of Friendship was standing right on her doorstep. This wasn’t exactly the sort of thing that a deep breath or two made you feel better about, and what the Princess had just asked made the situation that much more tense.

Love Tap took a moment to swipe a few strands of her brown mane away from her face. “So let me get this straight…”

Twilight Sparkle, a pony who had saved the city and world several times, looked at Love Tap as if the princess was expecting the motherly mare to save the day this time. Given Love Tap’s role in her family, she was not unaccustomed to this look. However, she would have never expected a Princess of Equestria to show up on her doorstep delivering said look as well as three other unexpected packages.

Twilight nodded and answered with a simple, “Take your time.”

Love Tap tilted her head to take a look at the curious collection of three mares sitting outside. Although all three wore matching red gem chokers and were of a similar age, that is where their likenesses ended.

The three mares in question hadn’t said anything. This was likely because there was some sort of shimmering lavender aura covering their mouths. The aura also seemed to strategically be applied to the trio in other ways.

A baby-blue pegasus with lilac eyes and a light-blue mane with dark blue stripes in it looked over everything with wild excitement. She smiled as if she was simply happy to be there as her eyes rapidly moved from place to place as if she was trying to desperately look at everything all at once. All this despite her legs and wings being held in place by the same lavender aura over her mouth. Her cutie mark was a jagged blue music note in front of a pink heart.

A light-purple earth pony took turns looking between Twilight and Love Tap with deep-amethyst eyes with her eyelids lowered to a point that suggested violent thoughts going on behind them. Her dark purple hair with a pair of green stripes was held into twin ponytails by two metal stars. Her body was almost completely enveloped by the lavender aura. Her cutie mark was a two-color purple and dark pink star in front of something that resembled a straightened bass clef.

In between the two other mares sat an orange unicorn with lavender eyes and a mane that was a massive collection of curls so large, Love Tap wondered if there was a fourth pony hiding in it. She simply had the aura applied to her horn, but the aura was shifting erratically as if fighting something underneath. The unicorn’s wordless expression seemed to be in constant flux between seething rage that she was in this situation and an odd-almost sultry-look directed at Love Tap. Love Tap couldn’t make sense of it for the life of her. Her cutie mark was an orange jewel in front of a purple treble clef.

On a note that couldn’t possibly be unrelated, Twilight’s horn was glowing with such an intensity, Love Tap was sure she could hear it hum. Twilight had begun the conversation requesting Love Tap to ignore that. A difficult request, but not nearly as difficult as what Twilight had come here specifically to request.

“You want me to take care of those three mares…”

Twilight answered as if she detected the one missing word that was supposed to punctuate Love Tap’s statement and turn it into a question of ‘Why?’ “Well, I heard from my friends you were really good with children.”

“Permission to speak freely?” Love Tap said.

Despite the fact that Twilight had broken into a sweat, either from the awkwardness of what she had asked, the strain of maintaining the amount of magical force to keep the three behind her in check, or some combination of both, the princess cracked a smile. “Oh, Love Tap, you don’t need to stand on ceremony with me! We’re neighbors!”

Love Tap glanced upwards past Twilight. Twilight’s towering crystalline castle was practically a stone’s throw away from Love Tap’s house. Though Love Tap initially didn’t know what to think about the massive building that had simply grown into existence one day and blocked her view of the nearby mountains, her husband had placated her a bit by pointing out that the property value of their little two story house would likely skyrocket.

Love Tap nodded. “Right… Well… First of all, those three behind you are clearly not children. They appear to be young adults.”

Twilight seemed to nod in agreement, but replied with, “I think you’ll find their physical age poorly reflects their assumed mental behavior.”

“Uh… okay…” Love Tap said as she rubbed the back of her head, disturbing her long, brown ponytail that was tied up with a red ribbon. She wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “Er… right… okay…”

From the corner of her eye, Love Tap thought she saw the light-purple mare flinch. The glow of Twilight’s horn suddenly shot up in intensity and it briefly let out a screeching sound as if the entire horn might just shatter.

Twilight closed her eyes hard and the light-purple mare suddenly tensed up as if she was being compressed in a magical vice. The glow of the horn subsided back to only casually blinding levels of light.

“Was there something else?” Twilight asked.

Love Tap pursed her lips. What was being asked of her was pure insanity, but the princess came to her personally to ask this! Still… There were certain uncomfortable truths about suddenly taking care of three more ponies.

Love Tap shook her head. “I’m sorry, princess. But even with my husband’s well-paying job, I don’t—”

With a howl and a blinding light from Twilight’s horn, a massive bag the size of Love Tap herself appeared with a ‘BAMF!’ It hit the floor hard and fell forward as the rope that tied it closed strained and opened slightly. A pile of bits spilled out from the opening.

Love Tap could only stare wordlessly at the fortune sitting next to her.

“Ugh…” Twilight said in annoyance. “Sorry, I’m having trouble concentrating… Let me get the next one…”

“The-the-the next one…?”

‘BAMF’

‘THUD!’

An equally large bag appeared next to Love Tap. Gems of all sizes and colors spilled out.

“Sorry!” Twilight said.

“Sorry?!”

Twilight nodded. “I know this would mean an extra expense for you, but this should be a good start on my part.”

“Sta-START?!”

“Honey?!” A concerned masculine voice called out from in the house. “What was that?! Did Button take a spill down the stairs again… twice?”

“I’m fine dad!” a young colt's voice answered from somewhere else in the house. “Hey! Can I go base jumping with Sweetie Belle and her friends?”

“Ask your mother!”

“Aww, man!”

The sound of somepony trotting towards the front door sounded out as a dark-brown earth pony stallion with a spiky black mane and black mustache came into view. He wore a quizzical expression as if a sudden realization just hit him. “Wait, base jump—HOLY CELESTIA! IS THAT ALL MONEY?!”

Love Tap turned towards the stallion, wrapped a foreleg around him and pulled him next to her side. “Chip! Great! I’m glad you’re here! Princess Twilight wants us to help her with something.”

‘Chip’ looked between the two bags that he and his wife now were sandwiched between. “Please tell me it’s simply not that she needs us to help count all her money.”

Twilight let out a laugh. “No, no… That’s all for you and your family if you can help me.” Twilight extended a forehoof. “Microchip, right?”

Chip extended his forehoof and pressed it against Twilight’s as the two ponies shook their legs up and down. “Please, call me your loyal slav—Chip! Call me Chip!”

Love Tap looked at Chip with a pleading look. “Princess Twilight wants to give us all this if we agree to take care of the three mares behind her.”

Chip peered past Twilight to the trio of mares whose previous activities of ‘looking at everything’, ‘glaring’, and ‘passing odd alluring looks’ went away as they craned their necks to look at the massive bags of wealth inside the house.

Chip nodded. “That seems reasonab—”

“And I’m going to give you more!” Twilight blurted out.

“Ma-more?” Chip stammered.

Love Tap felt her brow tighten. “You’re not any good at haggling, are you Princess?”

Twilight shook her head. “I’m not trying to haggle. I really need your help!”

“Hey!” Button’s voice called from inside the house. “What’s—AH!”

Love Tap and Chip cringed as the familiar sound of a young colt tumbling down stairs could be heard complete with “Oof!”s and “Ow!”s as the young pony made his rough descent that ended with a ‘THUD!’

Love Tap braced herself for what came next.

“Hhhehhh… Hheeehhh… whouaa… WHOUAAAAAAAAA! MOOOOOOOOOOOO—Hey! Are those two bags filled completely full with money?!”

“Uh, Button?” Love Tap replied. “Maybe you should go back upstairs and play—”

Button scrambled over the bag of bits. His propeller beanie spinning away despite the fact that he was indoors. “Hi, Princess Twilight Sparkle!” Button said happily.

Love Tap and Chip stared up at their son.

“Button?” Chips said. “Have you met the Princess before?”

“Nope!” Button answered.

Love Tap and Chip couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Of course…” Love Tap said.

“Hey, Button Mash!” Twilight greeted. Forcing a cheerful look even though the mare was now drenched in sweat. “I’m asking your parents if you want three new sisters!”

“WHAT?!” Love Tap cried.

Twilight flashed Love Tap a look of deep apology before turning back to Button.

“COOL!” Button cried.

Twilight gritted her teeth into a smile. “Right. And you’ll also get anything that’s in my power to give you!”

“Princess!” Love Tap said in an irate tone. “I understand that you need my help, but please don’t try to use my son as a barg—“

“I want every video game system ever and every game ever,” Button rattled off without missing a beat.

“Button!” Love Tap cried.

“DONE!” Twilight said. She looked back at Love Tap and Chip. “What else?!”

Love Tap slammed her hoof on the floor. “Princess Twilight! You can’t just come here and—”

“We’ll need a bigger house!” Chip blurted out.

“Honey!” Love Tap cried in a chastising tone.

“Sorry!” Chip said. “But she said anything in her power! And if we have three more living here, we’ll need the space!”

Twilight frowned as she pounded the request. “I do want to help there, but I really want these three close to the castle, so...”

“That’s okay!” Chip exclaimed. “I can draft up plans to expand our current home!”

Twilight nodded, seemingly satisfied with that request. “Alright, get the plans to me as soon as you can.”

“Can we have a pool?!” Button asked.

Twilight pointed at Button. “You can have two pools!”

“YAY!”

Love Tap began to grit her teeth. “Prrrrrrinnnnnceeesssssss…” she hissed out in a threatening tone.

“And a hot tub!” Twilight added.

Love Tap’s eye began to twitch as she felt her angry expression suddenly melting away like sore muscles soaking in bubbling water.

“Okay!” Twilight continued. “Anything—”

“WHAT THE HAY IS ALL THAT RACKET UP THERE?!”

“Oh no…” Love Tap uttered as she smacked a forehoof against her face.

Approaching hoof steps from somewhere under the ponies could be heard shortly before a door opened. A teenaged reddish-brown colt with a short-black mane crawled on top of the gem bag. “Did Button fall down the stairs like four times, or—OH HOLY MOTHER OF THE SUN AND MOON! BABES!”

Love Tap sighed heavily. “Gibson, could you not. Could you just not.”

Gibson looked down. “Also, I appear to be on top of a large sack of gems!” Gibson added before he looked back up. “BUT BABES!”

Love Tap raised both forehooves up to her face and simply allowed herself to fall forward onto the floor.

Gibson extended a foreleg out to Twilight Sparkle and quickly raised and lowered his eyelids. “Hello! My name is Gibson. I play the guitar and I’m in a band.”

Love Tap let out a heavy sigh as she slumped to her stomach. Her entire body seemed to deflate as if she was simply allowing it to fill whatever space she currently found herself in. “Gibson. You know mommy encourages you to shot for the moon, but at least show some awareness for when a girl is so completely out of your league she might as well be in another galaxy.”

“Hi, Gibson!” Twilight said as she took Gibson’s hoof and gave it a shake. “Would you like these three beauties to live with you?”

“I-I’m sorry…” Gibson said as he stared at Twilight like a starving pony stares at a giant bucket of oats. “Is… is it my birthday?! Did… Did I forget today was my birthday?!”

Love Tap covered her head with her forelegs.

“Great!” Twilight exclaimed. “Well if that’s—”

“NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE!” Love Tap shouted as she practically exploded up on all fours. Her family let out startled cries as she pressed against her husband and the bags of bits and gems suddenly shifted. “You may be willing to shower us with wealth—”

“And hotties!” Gibson added.

“And video games!” Button chimed in.

“And a bigger house!” Chip said excitedly.

“STOP TRYING TO HELP!” Love Tap snapped at her family. She turned back to Twilight. “But suddenly taking on three mares is a huuuuuuge change! I think we need time to think about it!”

“No we don’t!” Gibson said.

“Nope!” Button chimed in.

“I am more than okay with the terms we’ve been given!” Chip added.

Love Tap raised a forehoof to her forehead as she felt it assaulted with shooting pain.

Her legs trembling as if she was struggling with the weight of her own magic, Twilight gave Love Tap a pleading look. “I’m sorry, but I can’t wait for a decision! I feel terrible for springing this on you, but I know your specialty is dealing with children.”

“Yes… Children! Chiiiillllldren!” Love Tap said. “Those three aren’t…”

“Sonata is basically a child,” a feminine voice called out.

Twilight and all ponies in the house turned to look at the three mares outside. The lavender auras around their mouths had disappeared, though their other restraints remained.

“Oh no…” Twilight uttered.

The orange unicorn worked her lips as if stretching them. She pursed them into kisses a few times and smiled with a devilish grin. “Ahh… much better.”

Love Tap peered over the mares. “Maybe they should have say in this?”

Twilight shook her head. “I don’t mean to be rude, but that’s a pretty terrible idea.”

The unicorn continued, “Oh, we accept living here.”

“You do?!” Twilight asked in disbelief.

The earth pony sighed. “We do?” she asked in an annoyed tone.

The unicorn began to speak through gritted teeth. “Just look at the piles of money!”

The earth pony sighed. “We do,” she said in a conciliatory tone.

“Yay!” The pegasus exclaimed. “I want to play with the small one’s hat!”

“Mom! Can my new sisters go base jumping with me?”

“Button! I’m not about to let you just go out with some strange ponies whose names I don’t even know yet!”

“I’m Sonata!” the blue pegasus answered happily. “Sonata Dusk!”

The orange unicorn hummed deeply as her lips curved up into a smile that seemed to offer dark promises of what was to come. “I’m Adagio Dazzle.” She nodded to the light-purple mare sitting next to her. “The unpleasant-looking pony next to me is Aria Blaze.”

Aria just sighed. “Whatever.”

Adagio looked at Twilight. “Twilight, you can let us go now.”

Soaking wet with her body shaking, Twilight grit her teeth. “You promise not to run away or get violent?”

Adagio chuckled. “Well you’re no fun, but of course.”

“Pinky promise!” Sonata said happily.

Aria glanced at Sonata with an irritated expression. “We don’t have pinkies anymore, you moron!”

“Oh, yeah!” Sonata said with an expression that suggested the thought just now occurred to her.

“I know one Pinkie you can have!” Button exclaimed.

“Really?” Sonata said in excitement. “That’s great! I always wanted to start a severed finger collection!”

“… What’s a finger?” Button asked.

“Focus, girls!” Adagio shouted. She turned back towards Twilight. “Well I can agree to your terms within reason, but I can’t guarantee the girls won’t still be idiots, because well… just look at them.”

Gibson grinned wide and leaned forward on the gem bag. “Yes, look at them!”

Adagio continued, “But we won’t get into any trouble that would require your intervention… for now…” she purred out.

Aria sighed heavily. “Did you really need to add that last part?”

“I couldn’t help it!” Adagio said. “It just slipped out!”

Twilight sighed. “It’ll have to do…” The glow from her horn subsided as the auras around the three mares disappeared. Twilight staggered, then stood firm as if she was trying to avoid crashing to the ground.

Love Tap’s forehead and lips had crinkled to form a look of deep, deep concern. “Princess Twilight… are these three a danger to my family?”

Twilight’s entire body tensed as if she had just been caught with all four of her hooves in cookie jars. “Uh… well…”

Adagio shook her head. “Don’t worry. Given what just transpired, I can’t think of a reason as to why we’d want to hurt you or your loved ones.”

Love Tap’s eyes narrowed. “Believe me. I’d never give you the chance.”

“Whoa-ho-ho!” Adagio exclaimed as she raised both forehooves in front of her defensively. “You’ve got spunk! I like—AH!”

Her two front feet suddenly raised, Adagio toppled forward onto the grassy ground with a small ‘thud’.

Aria and Sonata snickered to themselves.

Adagio sighed. “Right… quadruped…” She carefully raised herself back up onto all fours, balancing her massive mane on her back. “We find Twilight’s terms agreeable. We have no plans to harm you or your family.” Adagio turned and gave a commanding glare to both ponies flanking her. “Right?”

“Right!” Sonata exclaimed. “What were we talking about? I was looking at that small pony’s hat! It’s so spinny!”

Aria sighed. “Well, there’s no fun in beating up a buncha weaklings—”

Love Tap let out a growl of warning.

“—so fine, whatever.”

Twilight let out a sigh of relief. “So, it’s decided, then?”

Love Tap took a step forward. “Hey! I still—”

“Not quite!” Adagio interrupted. “What do we get out of this little deal?”

“Yeah!” Aria chimed in. “I heard mention of video games?”

“You three don’t get to make demands!” Twilight cried. “I’ve already tried to make the situation as pleasant as I can for you!”

“But I want a pony!” Sonata protested.

Adagio’s left eye suddenly twitched violently as if something just broke behind it.

“Sonata, you complete and utter douche nozzle,” Aria said. “You are a pony!”

Sonata looked down herself and gasped. “You’re RIGHT! I’M GONNA HUG MYSELF!” Sonata wrapped her legs around herself and let herself fall to the ground. She giggled playfully as she began to roll in the grass.

Gibson raised a hoof into the air. “I can help with the hugging!”

“STAY RIGHT THERE!” Love Tap demanded. She turned towards Twilight. “Princess, I’m still not sure about all this.”

“WHAT?!” Gibson exclaimed. “She’s giving us hot babes and money! It does not get any more win-win than that! There is literally no downside!”

“And I want to play with them!” Button added.

Love Tap felt a comforting foreleg wrap around her as Chip pulled her close. “Sweetie… I know this is all very sudden, but think of what we’re getting out of this!”

“I know, Chip… but as nice as the money is, I really only care about us and our family! I’m not sure if three unexpected additions to the home is really what’s best for us. Even if we’re being given what we need to help take care of them. I mean… It’s not like we desperately need the money or anything.”

“Mom!” Button protested. He waved his hooves in front of him. “Video games!”

“Button,” Love Tap answered sternly. “You have a pile of video games already!”

“Yeah, that I beat already!” Button said. “Plus I kinda wanted to make a cartridge fort.”

Love Tap pondered this for a moment. “Well that sounds pretty coo—Wait! NO! It’s going to take more than money, a bigger house, and video games to sway me here.”

Chip pondered this for a moment. “Well, how about this. With the money Princess Twilight is offering us, I wouldn’t need to travel anymore with or without Gibson.”

Love Tap’s eyes lit up. “You… you mean…”

Chip smiled and nodded. “We can setup an office here at home. Heck, we can setup a workshop on top of that and just go into business for ourselves! We’d be here all the time!”

Love Tap bit at her lower lip and looked around. Seven pairs of eyes were all fixed on her. Each one looking to her as if the very fate of the world depended on what she said next.

She sighed. “Alright… they can stay.”

“Oh thank you merciful Celestia,” Twilight uttered.

“YAY!” Button Mash and Sonata exclaimed in unison.

“Mom,” Gibson said, “I know I don’t say this often enough… but I love you. I love you so, so, much!”

Adagio grinned and leaned closer to Aria. “Dibs on that needy-looking teen.”

“Wasn’t interested in him,” Aria said.

“Also dibs on that stallion.”

“Nor him.”

“And dibs on that hot milf.”

“Again, not interested… Geez, next you’re gonna claim that kid.”

Adagio’s entire body shook in disgust and she glared at Aria. “There’s something wrong with you.”

Arm still around Love Tap’s neck, Chip began to lovingly nuzzle his wife. “Thanks, honey. You made the right choice.”

Love Tap sighed and looked at the trio of girls who were now new additions to her household. “I hope so, Chip. I really do…”

Twilight suddenly perked up. “Welp! Everything is agreed and settled on! I better draft some paperwork and get started on the other things you wanted! Lemme-know-if-they-try-to-kill-anypony-or-try-to-take-over-Equestria,-also-don’t-take-off-their-gem-chokers! Gotta go!”

With a flash of her horn, a bright light, and a ‘poomf’, Twilight was gone.

“Wait!,” Love Tap called out. “What was that last part?!”

“Yay!” Button exclaimed. “New sisters!”

“This is the best day of my life…” Gibson uttered.

“No seriously!” Love Tap cried. “Did nopony catch that last bit?”

Gibson shook his head. “It’s really hard to hear over how absurdly happy I am.”

Love Tap shook her head from side to side. “I really hope this wasn’t a bad idea.”

Adagio grinned wickedly as she began to speak to Love Tap in a vaguely menacing tone. “Oh believe me, my dear Love Tap. You’re going to get even more than you bargained for.” Adagio smiled widely and threw her head back. Her massive mane cascaded around her as she threw her head back. “HehehehehaahahahahahahahaMUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Everyone went silent and just stared at Adagio.

Adagio stopped once she felt all the eyes on her.

Aria shook her head and smacked a forehoof against her face. “Damnit, Adagio…”

“What?!” Adagio protested. “I can’t help it! It’s like tourette syndrome.”

“Whatever,” Aria said as she approached the ponies at the front door the bags of money. She roughly inserted herself in between Chip and Love Tap with enough force that the bits and gem bag exploded as Gibson and Button fell to the floor. “You guys have any food?” Aria added casually.

Love Tap and Chip looked down in concern at Button who dizzily moaned from the ground with his legs in the air.

Gibson scrambled out of the pile of loose bits and gems and followed Aria. “Yeah! We have lots! Let-me-touch-your-mane-I-mean-help-you!”

Love Tap shook her head. “This deal’s getting worse all the time.”

“Don’t worry, new mommy!” Sonata said in a bubbly tone as she half trotted, half skipped up to the house. “I promise you won’t live to regret it!”

Chapter 2: Ground Rules

Love Tap inhaled deeply and held her breath. She humored the idea that maybe, just maybe if she let the air sit for a while that it would mingle with the feeling of dread currently residing in her stomach. Ideally, the feeling would leave when she also vacated the air she was holding in her lungs.

It didn’t.

Also still present were three mares Love Tap was now apparently in charge of. Though, Love Tap admitted to herself it was a bit much to expect even one of them to magically disappear without a trace.

Not only was she in charge of the three young mares, all three apparently lived here now. In her house with her family. Financially secure for life or not, the sudden change to Love Tap’s situation was nothing short of overwhelming. The feeling of dread from the sudden change was compounded by the fact that in Twilight Sparkle’s rush, the princess didn’t tell her anything about the girls except what she could fit in one rapid-fire sentence.

At least she had their names.

Adagio Dazzle sat at the table next to Love Tap’s son Gibson. The orange unicorn’s eyes kept on drifting back and forth between Gibson and Love Tap as if Adagio was debating which tasty morsel to sink her fangs into first.

Gibson originally walked into this room in something of a lovestruck daze. A daze he himself broke when he pointed to the fridge in the room and announced, “FRIDGE! FOOD! THERE!” After that rather odd outburst, he elected to silently sit down at the table and cover his head with his forehooves. If it weren’t for the fact that Adagio sat next to him and started giving Gibson hungry looks, Love Tap had no doubt that ‘face down with his head covered’ probably would have been Gibson’s current state even now.

It took Love Tap a moment to connect what had happened. Though Gibson didn’t seem shy around women, it was likely the words said to girls outside of ‘Hi, my name is Gibson. I play the guitar and I’m in a band’ were few and far between. This coupled with the reality that Gibson would now have to converse regularly with three beauties likely hit somewhere in between the short walk from the front door to the kitchen. His initial act upon speaking seemed to embarrass him so much, he likely immediately abandoned his chances with any of the girls. However as it so happened, he looked up just enough to catch Adagio’s eye. She had elected to waggle her eyebrows when she noted Gibson was looking at her and now Gibson was nervously sitting with his eyes on the table and his forehooves shoved between his back legs.

Love Tap also gathered the reason for Gibson folding in on himself like that. He was probably trying to hide something… Something she didn’t want to spend a great deal of time thinking about, or anytime thinking about, really.

Sonata Dusk was also sitting at the table. The light-blue Pegasus was apparently transfixed by the propeller hat of her youngest son.

Button Mash was busy describing in great detail his latest exploits in some digital world or another, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Sonata was more interested in his hat than anything he was saying.

Aria Blaze was holding open the door to the fridge.

‘CRUNCH!’

‘THUD!’

Correction: Aria Blaze was standing in front of the broken fridge while the door to it lied on the floor in a horrible mess of crushed food and splattered liquid. The purple earth mare elected to glare at the door as if the situation was somehow all its fault.

“Hey!” Aria called out in a somewhat miffed tone. “Your stupid fridge broke!”

Love Tap took another deep breath and let it go. Once again, her breathing utterly failed her in making the situation better. “Never mind! We can buy a new fridge! Just sit down!”

“Ugh… Whatever…” Aria said in a bored tone as she trotted over to the table and sat in between Adagio and Sonata. She leaned back in her chair and placed her back legs on the table.

Love Tap took another scan of the room. It could do with a little pruning. “Gibson, could you please leave? I just need to talk to the girls.”

Gibson flinched. “Now is really not a great time for me to stand up and walk away…”

Love Tap sighed and placed a forehoof against her face as she shook her head from side to side. “Fine, you can stay. This is going to concern you anyhow…” She turned to look at Button Mash.

“… so when you fill your settlements with corn, mutfruit, and tato,you have an unlimited supply of adhesive, and—”

“Button, dear?” Love Tap said sweetly.

Button turned to face his mother. “Yeah, mom?”

“Could you give us all a minute? I just need to talk to the girls.”

“Sure! So can I go base jumping with Sweetie Belle and her friends?”

Love Tap flinched. “We’ll talk about that later, alright?”

Button frowned slightly and began to trot out of the kitchen. “Alright…” he uttered in a slightly disappointed tone.

One of Sonata’s hooves shot up.

“Uh… Yes, Sonata?”

“Can I go, too?”

Love Tap stared in bewilderment at Sonata for a second then quickly shook her head as if to clear it. “No… I just said I wanted to talk to ‘the girls’! That includes you!”

Sonata puffed out her lower lip into a pout. “But I wanna play with the spinny hat kid!”

“You can play with Button later!” Love Tap said. “Right now I need you to sit down and be a good girl for me, okay?”

Sonata sighed. “Okay…” she uttered in a sad tone.

Love Tap paused for a second, trying to process the fact that she had just addressed an adult in a way she didn’t even have to address her youngest child anymore. She decided to shelve that thought for now and deal with it later. However, said mental shelf was starting to get rather full and possibly even buckling under the increased weight of oddities and quirks that required further thinking and discussion on her part.

The mares had been in her house for a matter of minutes, if that.

She cleared her throat. “Okay, so ground rules.”

The girls all let out groans of protest.

“Rules are boring!” Sonata cried.

Adagio nodded. “You’ll find that we don’t operate well under—” Adagio trailed off slightly and narrowed her eyes “—rules.”

Aria nodded and thrust a forehoof into the air. “Yeah! Anarchy in Equestria!”

Love Tap stomped the floor hard. So hard in fact that the entire house shook. Caught off guard, the girls' eyes all opened wide as Aria fell forward and caught herself on the edge of the table.

“Look…” Love Tap began in a tone laced with threats that she seemed more than confident to make good on. “If you’re going to live under my house, you’re going to live under my rules.”

The three mares exchanged glances that suggested they weren’t totally happy with the current situation. Despite this, Adagio turned back towards Love Tap and nodded. “Proceed.”

Love Tap returned the nod. “First, you’re not allowed to physically hurt my family.”

Adagio and Aria’s hooves shot into the air.

“Uh…Aria.”

“Does that include you?”

Love Tap chuckled darkly. “Well yes, but I seriously doubt any of you three are capable of hurting me.”

Aria’s eyes narrowed. “Oh really? Care to test that theory?”

“Hey!” Adagio protested as she shook her hoof about. “My turn to get a question answered!”

“Yes, Adagio?”

Adagio lowered her hoof. “Does this rule count if the physical harm is consensual?”

Love Tap stared blankly at Adagio for a second. “… What?”

“You know…” Adagio motioned to Gibson. “Say I have Gibson here tied to a bed and—”

“RIGHT!” Love Tap interrupted. “I’M JUST GOING TO GO AHEAD AND SKIP A FEW RULES!”

Another hoof shot up, this time Gibson’s. “I really don’t think we’re done discussing rule number one!”

“Gibson!” Love Tap said in a stern tone. “I really don’t need your input here! I just need you to listen.”

Gibson sighed.

“Okay, I’m just going to skip right past mental trauma since I think that’s pretty unavoidable for you three—”

Adagio nodded. “You read us well.”

“—So, the next rule we’re going to cover is no sleeping with my sons!”

“What?!” Gibson cried. “Oh, you cannot be—”

Love Tap leveled a forehoof at Gibson. “I told you, that I just wanted you to sit and listen.”

Gibson extended his lower lip as it trembled. He looked back and forth between the girls at the table with glassy eyes, as if he was desperately trying to hold back tears.

“No.”

Love Tap looked at Adagio in surprise. “I—I beg your pardon?”

“I said, ‘no’,” Adagio said. “I refuse. I mean, the small one in the hat, of course. You won’t have to even think about that for quite a few years. But other than that, ‘no!’”

Love Tap grit her teeth. “This isn’t up for debate! If you live here there is no way I’m allowing any of you to sleep with my son!”

Gibson let out a pained whimper analogous to that of a wounded animal.

Adagio sighed. “And here I thought you cared about your son!”

“EXCUSE ME?!”

Adagio motioned towards Gibson with both her forehooves. “Just look at him! He’s not going to last a day, let alone the next few hours with that sort of restriction hanging over his head!” Adagio pointed a hoof at Aria. “Plus with a rule like that, you’re going to have to worry about Aria as well. She’s likely to break it purely out of spite.”

Aria nodded. “She’s right, you know.”

Love Tap narrowed her eyes. “I can’t in good conscience just let you have your way with my son.”

Gibson bit his lower lips with enough force, Love Tap feared for a second it would start bleeding. She decided to focus her attention on Adagio.

To her great surprise, Adagio was grinning at her. “Come on! Certainly you remember what it was like to be young once.”

Love Tap felt her left eye involuntarily twitch as her ‘urge to kill’ suddenly began rising. “What are you implying?”

Adagio continued. “It’s just for a mare with a teenaged son, you look so young!”

Urge to kill lowering…

“One can’t help but wonder how old you were when you had Gibson here.”

RISING! “That’s none of your business!”

“Oh, really?” Adagio cooed. “Considering the topic at hand-er-hoof, I think it warrants discussing.”

Love Tap’s eyes shot open wide as her ‘urge to kill’ was suddenly replaced with an ‘urge to run away and hide’ as what Adagio was getting out became apparent to her. No… She wants this… She wants me to back down…

“So? How about it?” Adagio said. “How young were you when you had Gibson?”

“Well, I certainly was older than Gibson is now if that’s what you’re implying!”

Adagio leaned forward on the table, propping her head up with a forehoof as she smiled wickedly. “Fine then.” She turned towards Gibson. “How long have your parents known each other?”

Love Tap swallowed. Maybe she should have insisted that Gibson leave.

“Huh? Well… They’ve known each other since they were just foals.”

“Reeeeaaaallly…” Adagio purred as she glanced at Love Tap briefly before turning her gaze back to Gibson. “Have they always been together?”

Gibson nodded. “Pretty much!”

Love Tap sighed. “You know what? I think I want to discuss that mental trauma rule now.”

Adagio chuckled and continued. “All those years as teenagers together…” She turned to Love Tap. “You two must have had some pretty fun mating seasons.”

Gibson cringed.

Love Tap narrowed her eyes. “I am absolutely not discussing this with you!”

Adagio got out of her chair and walked behind Gibson. She stood up on her back legs and draped her forelegs over his shoulders. Gibson’s eyes suddenly shot open with an expression that pretty much screamed, ‘OH MY GOSH! THERE’S A GIRL TOUCHING ME!’

Adagio continued, “Well, if not with me, certainly you should discuss it with your son! You wouldn’t want him to think you’re a hypocrite, now would you?”

Love Tap scrunched her lips up. “I er… umm… er… I’m sure he'd rather not know, so…”

Gibson nodded his head up and down.

Adagio lowered her muzzle slightly, shifting it until it was practically inside Gibson’s ear. “Do it!” she said. “Only with your twisted curiosity can you get laid, boy!”

Gibson’s eyes fired open like two massive explosions of sky-blue fire. “Mom, how-old-were-you-and-dad-when-you-two-first—”

“AHHH!” Love Tap cried. “Rule rescinded!”

Adagio cackled to herself. “Ahahahahahaha! Good! Good!”

“YES!” Gibson said as thrust his forehoof into the air. This was accompanied by a sharp ‘bang’ on the table as he stood up. Gibson quickly fell back into his chair and thrust his forehooves back into his thighs.

Love Tap’s eyes became unfocused and distant. “Maybe we should break for dinner.”

Finally speaking up, Aria nodded towards the mess of fridge door, liquids, and food on the floor. “Is part of it under there?”

Love Tap sighed heavily. “Maybe we should break while I go to the store or Hayburger’s.”

As Gibson got ‘settled’ in his chair, Adagio walked back towards her own, her eyes clearly focused on Gibson, but far, far below his own eye level.

“Take your time,” Adagio said. “In fact, I think I’ve already found something to snack on.”

Love Tap could practically feel Gibson struggle against… er… himself as he sat down. She closed her eyes hard as if the act would banish all the shooting pain she felt in her head once she opened them again.

It didn’t.

Adagio batted her eyelids at Gibson. “Well lover boy? Do you want me to take care of that little-big problem in between your legs?”

Gibson stared at Adagio. “It’s only the thing I currently want most out of life.”

Adagio chuckled. “Good answer. Where’s your room?”

Desperate to establish even a modicum of control, Love Tap blurted out, “I don’t want you two screaming down the house where everypony can hear it!”

Gibson was just as quick to return fire. “The-basement-blocks-out-pretty-much-all-sound!”

Adagio laughed to herself once more. “The basement it is.”

Gibson looked down sheepishly. “I er… Could everypony but Adagio maybe turn their head or leave? I’m not really comfortable getting up…”

Love Tap let out a long continuous sigh, not so much hoping her anxiety or any negative feelings she had might leave, more that her soul would escape and find respite somewhere far away from here.

“No problem!” Adagio replied. Her horn glowed lavender and soon Gibson was floating in the air as he kept his back legs clenched tightly together and his fore hooves sandwiched in between them. Soon Adagio was trotting out of the kitchen, Gibson floating behind her much like a balloon. Adagio began singing to herself in a rather upbeat manner as she trotted down the hallway.

“Oh-whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh

You didn't know that you fell

Oh-whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh

Now that you're under our spell!”

“Uggghh…” Love Tap groaned as she raised a fore hoof to her face. “I can’t believe that just happened.”

“You’re even dumber than I thought if you think you can outtalk Adagio.”

Love Tap removed her hoof to glare at Aria, the only other pony left in the room… Wait… Only other?! Love Tap turned her head from side to side. “Where the heck did Sonata go?!”

Aria raised an eyebrow. “Dude! She left like… five minutes ago!”

“WHAT?!”

Aria nodded. “You tried to have a frank discussion with Sonata without using any of the three ‘p’s, what did you think was going to happen?”

“How was I supposed to know the girl had no attention span?!”

Aria crinkled her brow at me. “Wow, you are stupid. I would have thought that was obvious.”

Love Tap grit her teeth then remembered there was a seemingly psychotic pony on the loose. She shook her head as if to clear it. “Well, what are the three ‘p’s’?”

“Pictures, puppets, and Pizza.” Aria frowned. “Technically tacos work better, but we had to come up with a third ‘p’ word and ‘taco pizzas’ are certainly a thing.”

“Well, where would—?”

Love Tap was cut off by a rather familiar scream. “AAAAAAAAHHHHH!”

“Button?!” She cried out in alarm. Love Tap made a move for the kitchen door as a giggle suddenly joined the screaming.

‘Whoosh!’

Love Tap stopped. “I think I heard a ‘whoosh’.”

“Outside,” Aria said casually.

Love Tap rushed for a massive, rectangular window that was sectioned into squares and split down the middle. She threw the window opened and peered outside.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!”

“WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Her son Button Mash was currently riding an airborne Sonata. Button held on for dear life as Sonata made her way to the top of Twilight’s castle.

A sudden realization hit Love Tap as she remembered what Button had asked her several times that day. “Base jumping…” she murmured. She suddenly did a 180 and began galloping for the door.

“Wow, you really do suck at taking care of your own family, don’t you?”

Love Tap stopped dead in her tracks. She took a deep breath and held it, hoping the air she just inhaled would mix with the feeling of unfathomable rage that just struck her and intensify it.

It did.

Love Tap turned to face Aria Blaze with a look that would have vaporized Aria and probably a good chunk of Ponyville if the intensity of a glare also meant how destructive it was.

Aria stared in surprise at the look on Love Tap’s face momentarily. Then slowly a smile crept across her face like a spider that was gingerly walking towards prey it had already wrapped up tightly in its web.

“Alright, Aria,” Love Tap said in a calm voice unindicative of the expression she wore. “You think you can take me?”

Aria chuckled and shook her head. “A mare that spends all her time fussing over her kids? I know I can take you.”

Love Tap simply nodded towards the kitchen door. “Alright then, let’s take a walk to the edge of the Everfree Forest. I’d hate to destroy some pony’s home with your face.”

Aria got off her chair and onto all four hooves. “Pfffft…. Ahahaha… You certainly talk a good game.”

“Oh, you’ll find I can do more than talk,” Love Tap said as she walked out the door.

Aria followed. “Hey, doesn’t me hitting you violate your first rule or whatever?”

Love Tap turned to smirk at Aria. A wild, uncontrolled smirk that came with violent promises of what was about to come. “Oh, don’t worry about that. If you even lay a hoof on me, it’ll be consensual.”

Chapter 3: Whhheeeeeeeeeee!

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“WHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Sonata Dusk cut through the air like a knife… that was flying through the air and also doing loop-de-loops and stuff! It had been such a long time since she had been back in Equestria and an equally long time since she could fly so well under her own power. There had been attempts before her return, of course, but her diet cola and Mentos jetpacks mostly just left her sticky and wet...

… For some reason, Sonata thought of Adagio… Oh well! Now seemed like a good time to start singing, because every time seemed like a good time to start singing.

“You got a reaction~
You got a reaction, didn’t you?”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“You took a white orchid~
You took a white orchid turned it blue!”

…Wait, what was she doing? Also, what was that screaming noise going on behind her? Sonata glanced behind her and noticed a brown colt wearing that spinny fun hat! Oh hey! And he was on her back! Now how did that happen?

“Something better than nothin’~”

-~Earlier~-

Sonata Dusk trotted through the house like a light-blue pegasus that was trotting through a house. Which was convenient, because that’s exactly what was happening.

New mommy wanted to talk to Adagio, Aria, and her about… uh… something… Something boring… But new mommy didn’t have pictures, or puppets, or even pizzas that were like giant tacos! What was Sonata supposed to do?! Just sit there and listen quietly?! She wasn’t going to just sit there and listen quietly! You sit there and listen quietly!

Oh hey, stairs! Stairs often led to bedrooms in Sonata’s experience, or possibly dark, dusty attics full of see-through playmates that wanted to play forever! How cool was that?!

Sonata trotted up the stairs, which was much easier for her than it usually was because she now had four legs instead of two! Those wily stairs weren’t going to be able to trip her now! No sir-ree! She was climbing those stairs like a boss! She was like some sort of commander of the stairs! Their leader even! The stair… uh… Major! Yeah! The Stair Major! Definitely the Stair Major and not the Stair something-else-that-begins-with-M.

“Sigh…”

Oh, hey! The stairs led up to a hallway full of rooms! And one of the rooms sighs! Awesome!

Sonata walked into the room and in addition to its magical sighing properties it also was full of toys, video games which Sonata knew would make Aria happy, and even the colt in the spinny hat on a bonus bed!

Can you say ‘jackpot’? Can you spell ‘jackpot’? j-a-k… pot. Yeah!

“Oh, hey Sonata,” Spinny hat kid said.

What was his name again? Hrrmmm… Hrmmmm…

“Uh…” Spinny hat kid uttered as he stared at Sonata. “Are you okay? Why are you staring at me like that?”

Yay! Someone… er… somepony was paying attention to her! Oh right! Spinny kid’s name was… was… “Hey! Your name was Mutton Bash, right?”

“Er… Button Mash.”

Sonata let out a victorious, “Yes! I was mostly right!”

Button Mash responded by blinking rapidly a few times before talking. “So uh… is mom done talking to you?”

Sonata thought about this for a moment. “Probably not!” she answered cheerfully.

“Oh well… Do you need to go back downstairs?”

“Pffft, no!” Sonata said. “I already conquered those stairs!”

Button seemed excited about this prospect. “You did? You didn’t almost trip on them or anything?”

“Nope! I’m the Stair Major!”

Button smiled widely. “Wow! Can I be a Stair Major too?”

“I don’t see why not!” Sonata trotted over to Button, got up on his bed, and wrapped a foreleg around him. She motioned upwards with her other foreleg. “Stair Majors forever! Stair Majors forever and forever a hundred years! Stair Majors…some… things… You and me the Stair Majors climbin’ stairs and… Stair Majors all day long forever… all a-a hundred days Stair Majors! Forever a hundred times over and over Stair Majors… Adventures dot com. W W W dot at Stair Majors dot com!”

Sonata stopped as she noticed Button was giving her a blank look. Poor other people-er-ponies! They just couldn’t keep up with her amazing intel-lick! Oh, woe be the curse of genius!

“So, ummm…”

Oh my gosh! Button’s hat was still so spinny!

“… Do I need practice or…”

“Silly Button! Practice isn’t a ‘p’ word that involves pictures, puppets, or pizza! Silly Button!”

“… Uh… Well… I guess that’s true...”

Sonata nodded her head up and down enthusiastically. Perhaps there was hope for Button yet! “Hey! What was that thing you wanted to do? Race lumping?”

“Uh… Base jumping.”

“Yeah! Case thumping! We should do that!”

Button frowned. “But I haven’t really talked it over with my mom yet! And I’m not sure she’d want me to go without any adult supervision…”

“I’m an adult!” Sonata said happily.

“Uh… You are?” Button asked skeptically.

Sonata nodded her head up and down. “I mean… I’m old enough to be an adult, sure! Also, I can see really good!”

“… What?”

Sonata jumped back to the floor. “So we should go do that mace humming thing now!”

“Er… Okay, sure,” Button said. “So I guess the Stair Majors should go downstairs?”

Sonata trotted over to a window in Button’s room and opened it. “Stairs? Where we’re going we don’t need stairs!” Sonata unfurled her wings and nodded towards her back. “Climb on!”

-ooo-

“You took a white orchid~
You took a white orchid turned it blue!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Oh right! She was going face mumping with Button Mash! She turned behind her. Her song finished, she decided she could use a little more information about this brace stumping. “Hey, Button! Where’s this lace krumping thing at?”

“AAAAAAHHHHHHH”— Button Pointed –“the-big-castle-right-next-to-us-AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH—Just-land-on-the-roof!—AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”

“Okay!” Sonata said. She scanned the area for something that was big and also a castle. Luckily, there was only one thing in the area that was both those things. It was a castle that looked like it was made out of crystals, or rock candy, or crystal rock candy! Whatever of those things it was, Sonata decided she would lick it when she landed on top of it.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Which was going to happen about now!

Sonata pulled her wings in close to her body and placed all four of her hooves on the castle roof which was conveniently flat. Her hooves made a screeching noise as they triedand failed to stop Sonata and Button from sliding across the roof. Stupid Hooves... Hey! Was that a telescope she just skidded by? She was sure that was a telescope she just skidded by! Oh hey! There was a big… wall thing rushing towards her! She decided she’d name it ‘Wally’! Wally was practically running towards her! Hello, Wally! Do you want to be friends?

“AAAAAAAAAHHH—!”

‘THWACK!’

As Sonata laid upside down in a heap with Button Mash, she remembered that walls were very solid and also not very good at hugging.

Button Mash moaned as he, too, laid upside down. His legs twitched in the air, seemingly involuntarily as if he currently had some sort of spinal injury that had short circuited his central nervous system.

Sonata was sure that he was fine.

“Oh my gosh, Button! Are you okay?!”

Sonata looked up… No wait… she was upside down so… She looked down, but she tilted her head up in relationship to her current spatial position. She gasped. A talking marshmallow! A talking marshmallow with a horn, emerald eyes, and purple-and-pink hair asking about Button! The marshmallow looked like she’d make a much more huggable friend than Wally.

“Sweetie Belle!” Button exclaimed as he scrambled to his hooves.

See! Totally fine! Button was already running as fast as he could towards the marshmallow named Sweetie Belle! Diving on top of her and wrapping his legs around her as if he just thought moments ago he’d never be able to touch her again.

Who could blame him? Who knows how long that marshmallow was going to last before Sonata ate—er— somepony ate her! Oh, that reminds me!

“Uh… Hey, Button!” Sweetie Belle said from the observation deck floor as she hugged to the young colt that was currently holding onto her for dear life. “I-uh-missed you, too!”

An orange pegasus filly with a short magenta mane rolled her eyes. “Oh my gosh! You two saw each other just a few hours ago!”

“Ahh, leave ‘em alone, Scootaloo,” A yellow earth pony filly with a red mane replied and eyes that reminded Sonata of a sunset replied. She had a big pretty red bow! Sonata wanted a big pretty red bow! The candy Sonata was licking tasted funny…

“Button looked like he had a pretty harrowing experience there,” bow-pony said.

“Apple Bloom’s right.” Sweetie Belle agreed. “I mean… Button could have died!”

“And it would have had nothing to do with us for a change!” Scootaloo added. She narrowed her eyes and pointed accusingly at Sonata. Yay! More attention! “How dare she muscle in on our territory!”

“Scootaloo, that’s not funny!” Apple Bloom chastised.

Scootaloo shrugged. “I’m just saying what everypony is thinking.” She looked at Sonata again! Geez, Sonata was sure popular today! “Except maybe that pony. I’m not convinced she’s thinking about anything!”

Alright, I’m gonna give this weird tasting candy like… 20 more licks… 50 tops, then I’m going to stop.

Sweetie Belle looked at Sonata and then down at Button who still had his legs wrapped around her. “So who’s this pegasus, Button?”

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. “And why is she licking Twilight’s castle?”

Sonata mentally crossed out ‘Twilight’s castle’ on her running list of things that were good to eat as she slowly retracted her tongue back into her mouth.

Button raised his head and untangled himself from Sweetie Belle, allowing her to get back up to her marshmallow feet… or hooves. Sonata observed that the marshmallow also had hooves. Button motioned to Sonata.

Oh! Happy day! Everyone-pony was paying attention to Sonata again!

“This is Sonata Dusk,” Button introduced. “She’s one of my new sisters!”

Sonata watched as the trio of fillies all simultaneously seemed to contract lockjaw. She held her breath and covered her mouth in case it was an airborne pathogen.

“Sister?!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed.

“New?!” Apple Bloom added.

“One of?!” Scootaloo chimed in. “You ended up with even more?!”

“Yeah! My mom adopted Sonata and two other girls!” Button said. “Pretty cool, huh?”

Scootaloo’s lockjaw returned. “Your mom is just adopting random girls?! Why wasn’t I informed?!”

Apple Bloom shook her head. “Ah’m sure Button’s mom had a good reason for suddenly adopting three mares…”

Button Mash nodded his head up and down. “Yeah! Princess Twilight Sparkle gave my family a bunch of money and stuff to adopt them! She’s going to give me all the video games ever and a pool and stuff.”

“What?!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “Is this… Is this just some sort of program Twilight is doing?! Giving away free stuff along with ponies?!” She motioned to herself. “Can I sign up?!”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Scootaloo, Spike told us Twilight was busy taking what she announced would be a bubble-bath long enough to challenge his record. Ah’m starting to think there’s a connection between Button’s new sisters and that.”

Scootaloo narrowed her eyes at Apple Bloom. “Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?”

Apple Bloom pointed at Sonata, who was currently killing it at the ‘hold your breath’ game.

Scootaloo shot Apple Bloom a dirty look. “Thanks a lot, dream crusher!”

“So this just happened?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Like… in the last few hours since I saw you last?”

Button nodded his head up and down. “Uh-huh! Just a little bit ago. Mom adopted Sonata and the other two and then Sonata said she wanted to go base jumping with us! Whatever that is.”

The three fillies all exchanged confused glances.

“Button,” Sweetie Belle began, “you’ve been base jumping before… with us!”

“I have?! Why don’t I remember?!”

Scootaloo answered, “You probably selectively blocked that memory as a psychological tactic to keep functioning on a day-to-day basis without resorting to feral screams of horror for hours on end. I’ve done that with a bunch of things we’ve done… probably.” Scootaloo’s lavender eyes looked off into the distance as if they were trying to go on a journey far, far away. “It’s kinda hard to figure out what’s a regular nightmare and what’s a repressed memory of trying to get our cutie marks.”

Button Mash frowned. “Well, what do we do?”

Sweetie Belle’s horn glowed emerald as a similar glow enveloped a large backpack of some sort. Sweetie Belle floated over the backpack. “We put on these parachutes and jump off the roof!”

Button’s eyes shot open wide. Sonata knew that look. It was the look of somepony (Yes! Sonata remembered!) who suddenly remembered something they didn’t like! Like the taste of broccoli or when the Wild Kratts stopped being cartoons and are like… two kinda old dudes?! What the heck was up with that?!

“All around me are familiar faces~”

Oh! Button was singing! Sonata loved singing.

“Worn out places, worn out faces~”

… But Button’s song sounded really sad.

Scootaloo sighed heavily and shook his head. “There he goes again.”

Apple Bloom chimed in, “Honestly, Ah’m not sure what any of us expected to happen.”

Sweetie Belle setted down the parachute and began to pat Button on the back gently. “It’s okay, Button! We’re jumping from much higher this time!”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Right, that’ll make him feel better!”

Apple Bloom turned and looked at Sonata.

Well it’s about time somepony remembered I was here!

“Uh… Should we be concerned Sonata’s face is turnin’ purple?”

Button shook his head as if to clear it and stared at Sonata. “Sonata?! What’s wrong?”

Sonata quickly uncovered her mouth. “Lockjaw!” she said before she put her hooves back over her mouth.

The four foals all exchanged confused looks.

“Who’s Lockjaw?” Sweetie Belle asked.

Apple Bloom furrowed her brow. “Isn’t that the pony that runs the scrap heap?”

Sonata uncovered her mouth. “No! You all have lockjaw! I saw it,” she said before covering her mouth again.

The foals exchanged more confused looks.

Scootaloo turned back towards Sonata. “We don’t have lockjaw, and even if we did, it’s an infection. It’s not contagious.”

“Oh, good!” Sonata said as she removed her hooves from her mouth. Hey, why was everything springing and blurry all of a sudden?

“Uh, Sonata?” Button said. “You can breathe now!”

Breathe?! There wasn’t time for that! Sonata needed to figure out why everything was so fuzzy and why she felt sleepy!

“You know,” Button continued, “that thing you do when you let air into your lungs?”

Oh right! That thing! Sonata exhaled, inhaled, and exhaled again. Suddenly her vision cleared and the world stopped spinning. “Phew! That was close!” Sonata smiled. “Who would have thought breathing was so important!”

The four foals just stared at Sonata some more. Wow, she really was Ms. Popular today!

Scootaloo nodded towards her. “I think I see why your mom was asked to take care of these ponies, Button.”

Button turned towards Scootaloo. “I’m sure that was just the oxygen deprivation talking for a bit there.”

Sonata’s left ear twitched as the word ‘deprivation’ fell down into the cavernous space in her head. Flailing and screaming, the word frantically searched for any word it resembled. Just as it saw the light of Sonata’s other ear where it might fall through to be forgotten forever, it finally found something close enough it could grab onto.

“Silly Button!” Sonata said with a smile. “Oxygen is a gas! It can’t get be expulsed from a country! Besides, what would ponies breathe if the government forced out all the oxygen?! Silly Button!”

“There, you see?” Button said as he motioned to Sonata.

Scootaloo shook her head. “None of what she said filled me with confidence of her cognitive functions.”

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “What’s with you and all the big words today?”

“I like going through the thesaurus, alright?” Scootaloo said. “Lay offa me.”

Sonata gasped. “Thesaurus?! What kind of dinosaur is that?”

Frowning, Button turned towards Scootaloo. “Alright, I think I see what you mean.”

“Could we maybe focus here?” Sweetie Belle asked. She levitated a few parachutes over to Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and herself. “We still have base jumping to do!”

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom grabbed their parachutes out of the air and began putting them on.

Sweetie Belle looked at Sonata. “Sorry, I only brought four parachutes.”

Sonata spread her wings. “Uh… I can fly. Why would I need one?”

“Oops, yeah…” Sweetie Belle said sheepishly.

Scootaloo chuckled and smirked as she put on her parachute. “Wow, Sweetie Belle, even she knew that!”

“Shut up!” Sweetie Belle replied. Sweetie Belle glanced at Scootaloo’s wings. “I just forgot, okay?”

“Hey!” Sonata piped up as she pointed towards Scootaloo’s wings. "You’re a pegasus too, so why do you need a parachute?”

Scootaloo flinched. “Uh…” She started galloping towards the edge of the castle. “Gotta-go!-Bye!” Scootaloo fired off before she jumped out into open sky.

“Guess that’s our cue,” Apple Bloom said as she ran after Scootaloo and joined her in the air.

Sweetie Belle levitated up the parachute that was sitting next to Button and smiled at him.

Button cringed as he remembered a short fall into a painful thorn bush. “Uh… Maybe I’ll sit this one out.”

“You sure?” Sweetie Belle asked as she put on her own parachute. “You might get your cutie mark if you join us!”

“That’s okay!” Button said. “I don’t mind getting my cutie mark in something that doesn’t involve jumping off of high places.”

Sweetie Belle gave Button a warm smile. “Alright, see ya on the ground!” With that, Sweetie Belle ran after her friends and jumped over the side.

Button Mash cantered over to where the girls had just jumped and looked down. Sonata followed. There were two open parachutes just a little bit below them. A third one suddenly deployed. Button breathed a sigh of relief as it did.

Sonata looked down at the parachutes, then at Button. “Wait, aren’t you going too?”

“Uh… No? I just told Sweetie Belle I was going to sit this one out!”

Sonata felt her lips purse into a frown. Oh this wouldn’t do at all! “But all your friends jumped!”

“… Yeah, so?” Button asked.

“Well you know what they say, if everyone is jumping off a bridge, you should do it too because otherwise you’ll be left out!” Sonata giggled. “I mean, this obviously isn’t a bridge, but the idea is clearly the same.”

“Uh… Pretty sure that’s not how that saying goes.”

“Of course it is!” Sonata says. “Now trust your big sister and get out there!” Sonata said as she shoved Button over the edge.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh…!”

Sonata’s pupils suddenly flooded over to cover her lilac irises. “Oh right… earth pony…”

Chapter 4: You Think You’re so Pretty

Author's Note

Because of heavy use of song and parts that go a bit beyond teen, longer, alternative version here. Additional lyrics for Aria Vs. Love Tap and an extended GibsonXAdagio scene with song (yes the entire song. Not quite clop, but oh lordy is it getting there...)

Chapter 4: You Think You’re so Pretty

-o~ A bit ago… ~o-

“Well that wasn’t very good,” Adagio said as she rubbed at her right ear with her right forehoof. She put on an unsatisfied look as she clumsily mashed her leg against her ear, stopped rubbing it, and shifted the front end of her body towards her hindquarters. She then shifted her body weight to her left and raised her right back leg as she began scratching at her ear like a dog.

In the wide open basement with its exposed wooden walls, pink insulation, and concrete floor, Gibson gave Adagio a dejected look. “… I’m sorry…” he said in an unhappy tone.

Adagio stopped scratching at her ear. “Oh no, it’s all right. Really.” She shook her head. “You’re just not very good.”

Gibson’s eyes became slightly glassy as he puffed out his lower lip. He trotted over to an electric guitar with a light woodgrain color that darkened to a reddish hue at the edges of the guitar. He looked down at the floor as he reached for the guitar, throwing the strap around his neck. “No… I’m loving…” he said with a sad shrug before he strummed his guitar. The guitar sang out with a whisper quiet, melancholy tune. “… cuddly…”

Adagio looked at Gibson for a second and seemingly regarded him for a moment. Something that just might have been sympathy, or perhaps pity, flashed to her expression before it was crushed beneath Adagio’s eyelids which lowered to form a steely, slightly annoyed look with her burning magenta irises. “Look Gibson… I could say stuff like—” Adagio pitched her voice up into a tone of faux sympathy “—‘Oh, that’s okay! You tried your best’ or ‘It’s fine! No one does well their first time.’ But I’m not your mom.”

Images of what transpired between himself and Adagio suddenly flashed through Gibson’s mind. He shuddered slightly. “Thank Celestia for that…” he mumbled.

Adagio continued as she glanced upwards at the ceiling of wooden planks surrounded by pink foam, “The truth is, this moment will probably always haunt you.”

Gibson cringed.

“I mean like… really haunt you. The type of soul-crushing psychological weight that takes pills to fix so you can perform the next time some poor woma-mare is unfortunate enough to be alone with you.”

Gibson winced hard, his guitar strings protesting as he practically dragged his forehoof down them. He looked up at Adagio with a pleading look. “Can’t you give me another chance? Please!?”

Adagio sighed and turned back towards Gibson. “Look, I’m still crazy horny and if I know Sonata and Aria, and I do unfortunately, they probably got your mom out of the house to deal with something incredibly stupid. Meaning your dad is…” Adagio trailed off as her eyes drifted downward. “… is… Oh… oh my…”

Gibson looked down and blushed as he shifted his guitar strategically. “Sorry!” he exclaimed.

Adagio shook her head. “Don’t be sorry! You’re hung like a…” Adagio paused and frowned as realization quickly hit her. “Like a…” She raised a forehoof up to her mouth and coughed, allowing the sentence to die as she moved on. “Never mind. I mean, really though… it’s just so soon!” Adagio smiled. “I’m rather impressed… However… why were you getting excited while I verbally tore you down?” Adagio grinned wickedly. “Don’t tell me you have some weird complex.”

“What?! No! It’s just—”

“I changed my mind,” Adagio said. “I’m actually quite alright with you having a weird complex regarding you being humiliated, or your family, or whatever.”

“No!” Gibson said forcefully as he narrowed his eyes. “It’s uh… It’s an earth pony thing, I think?”

Adagio sat back on her haunches. She gave Gibson an interested look with her brilliantly magenta eyes. “Earth pony?” she asked as she smiled and batted her eyelashes.

Gibson nodded. “Yeah… I mean. We have more strength and stamina than other ponies.” He gave Adagio a sheepish look. “So that means…”

Adagio’s smile warmed up. “Well alright, but that doesn’t explain why it happened when I was going over how I was going to leave you here and go upstairs to find sexual fulfillment with your father…” Adagio pursed her lips slightly. “Which actually sounds incredibly mean-spirited and cruel when I say it out loud like that.”

Gibson shook his head. “It had nothing to do with that!”

“Well, what then?”

Gibson looked up at Adagio with his big, steel blue eyes. “It’s just… it’s just you’re so pretty,” he said before looking away, his cheeks turning slightly red.

Adagio eyes widened as she raised her head up and back slightly.

“Sorry…” Gibson said. “Was that… was that the wrong thing to say?”

Adagio’s smile returned, oozing across her face like warm molasses slowly spilling over a tabletop. “Gibson, put the guitar down.”

“Er…” Gibson did as instructed then turned towards Adagio with a hopeful smile. “So, you’re giving me another— Oh Celestia!”

Gibson watched as Adagio got a running start and pounced him. His head nearly impacted with the cement, only stopping a hair’s width away as a magenta glow caught him and gently lowered him to the ground. Before he could say anything more, Adagio leaned down and placed her mouth over his. She opened her lips and fired her tongue into Gibson’s mouth aggressively.

Breaking the kiss, she began gently humming to herself before she broke into song.

-o~Also a bit ago~o-

“Are we done walking?” Aria whined out as she trotted behind Love Tap. “‘Cause this is taking forever!”

Love Tap huffed out a sigh as she approached a line of trees. The shining brightness of the day seemed to stop abruptly at the tree line as the shaded tops of the forest blocked out the sun until shade turned into darkness much deeper inside.

“Yes, this is it,” Love Tap said. She narrowed her eyes into an unamused look as she turned towards Aria. “You can stop your complaining.”

Aria chuckled and shook her head. “Bitching,” she said.

“Excuse me?” Love Tap replied in a slightly confused tone.

“When I do it, it’s called ‘bitching’,” Aria clarified.

“Right, right…” Love Tap shook her head slightly. “Look, I might have been a little hasty earlier. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on but you seem to be having a lot of trouble with your earth pony strength. Maybe we shouldn’t… shouldn’t…” Love Tap let the sentence die as she noticed Aria staring at her with a look of intense determination. A look that absolutely screamed ‘Oh, this is GOING to happen!’

Aria broke into song and charged Love Tap at full speed. “Don’t try to take this from me! Don’t try to take this from me!~” As she got within striking range, Aria let loose a forehoof towards Love Tap’s face. “Now-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!~”

Love Tap’s surprise only lasted a moment, not long enough for Aria to connect. The light tan mare quickly shifted her body out of the way of the blow then swatted at Aria, adding to the momentum that was already carrying the purple mare towards the forest.

Aria tumbled and rolled, somersaulting back-over-head until a tree brought her to a sudden stop with a ‘CRACK.’ Bark shot out in all directions from the ensuing impact. Despite the fact that she was lying upside-down with her head on the ground and her back and back legs against the tree, she continued to sing and stare at Love Tap with an unwavering look.

She quickly got up to her hoves, shooting a sneer as she broke into another gallop towards Love Tap. This time she threw all her body weight, shoulder first, into the mare.

Love Top shifted her body to meet the impact with her own shoulder. With a resounding ‘THUD!’Aria smashed into Love Tap with enough force that the grass under them swayed with the resulting air pressure.

Love Tap quickly reached up with a foreleg and wrapped it around Aria’s neck. With a grunt she brought the purple mare to the ground and positioned herself over her, pinning Aria’s forelegs down.

Now on her back and underneath Love Tap, Aria rapidly brought her legs up to her chest, squeezing them in between herself and the tan mare that was keeping her pinned down. She placed her back hooves against Love Tap’s chest and suddenly thrust as hard as she could. Love Tap was immediately catapulted into the air.

Love Tap flew above the ground with an unexpected grace, spinning her body in midair to get her four hooves pointing downward before she connected with the ground. Her hooves dug into the dirt and skid only briefly before she stopped in place. Love Tap narrowed her eyes and tilted her head upwards almost inquisitively as she kept her gaze focused on Aria. Narrowing her eyes further, she dragged her hoof over the ground a couple times and snorted.

Aria grinned wickedly and galloped forward at full speed again, this time lowering her head as if to ram Love Tap. Love Tap lowered her own head to catch the impact full on. A powerful ‘THUNK!’ filled the area as the impact once again caused the air to bluster. Two sets of four hooves dug deep into the ground as Aria and Love Tap grit their teeth and pressed the tops of their crowns against each other, Each pushing against the other with all their strength.

Love Tap suddenly reared back on her hind legs and kicked out with her fore legs. Aria instinctively raised her forelegs to block. She quickly realized her mistake as she began falling forward. She thrust her forehooves back onto solid ground just as Love Tap connected with both hooves on the top of Aria’s head. Aria swayed slightly as her vision began to blur.

Wasting no time, Love Tap circled to Aria’s side, and pointed her backside towards Aria. She lifted both her back legs up and kicked Aria.

Aria went sailingthrough the air, smashing straight into a pine tree as wide as she was long that buckled, then snapped from her impact. She continued to fly into the forest, hitting the ground and bouncing over rocks, shrubs and off other trees before finally rolling to a stop on her stomach.

Woozily, Aria got back to her hooves and shot a glare towards the bottom half of the tree she had just been hurled through. She glanced thoughtfully at the top half that laid on the on the forest floor and glanced around her.

Love Tap took a moment to catch her breath then shouted from the other side of the tree line. “Are ya Done?!”

Love Tap got her answer as several large rocks suddenly flew out of the forest and into the sky, flying in a neat little arc towards her. With a slightly startled yelp, Love Tap dodged rock after rock. Her eyes opened widely as something else came through the air, blocking the sunlight.

“TREE!” she cried as she dove forward onto her stomach, the point of the pine tree Aria had crashed into and thrown suddenly landing where Love Tap had just occupied moments before, tumbling end over end and throwing up dirt as it spun vertically over the ground.

Love Tap looked up and grit her teeth as a surprised, worried look came over her. Aria had apparently followed the rocks and trees and was now descending towards her, one of her forelegs pulled back along her shoulder.

Still on her stomach, Love Tap flung herself to her right as Aria thrust her forehoof forward. Her hoof hit the ground as Aria herself continued forward. Grass and dirt flew up in all directions as Aria smashed her way forward, launching Love Tap away from a brand new crater in the ground.

Love Tap slowly got to her hoves, coughing as she shook grass and dirt clumps off of her. She cast a worried look towards the new hole next to the forest.

Her ears couldn’t help but flop down around her head as a purple hoof emerged from the edge.

Aria Blaze emerged from the hole, covered in dirt and looking plenty battered and bruised. Despite this, she still gazed at Love Tap with the same intense determined look she started the fight with.

Slowly, Love Tap’s ears raised back up as a smile began to spread across her face. Love Tap’s eyes narrowed into laser beams pointed in Aria’s direction.

Aria dragged a forehoof over the ground a couple times, it easily pushed the grass and dirt aside as it dug deeply into the earth.

Still smiling, Love Tap repeated the motion of digging her own hoof through the dirt.

Aria launched into a gallop, still singing as she rushed towards Love Tap.

Love Tap likewise propelled herself to Aria as she began singing along.

The two ponies rose their chests up and slammed into each other at full speed, more dirt and rocks were flung in all directions as the air around them seemed to flee from the scene of violence.

Love Tap made no attempt to gain the upper hoof or throw Aria back to the ground, instead she threw her head about wildly and kicked out with all her hooves, all the while smiling excitedly as she joined Aria in her fevered song.

Aria smiled too as she continually thrusted with her forehooves, occasionally rearing up on her hind legs to bat with her forehooves or press her weight forward so she kicked out with her back legs.

The mares fought recklessly, allowing blows to find their marks as each one was brought to the ground time and time again only to get back up and resume the melee of hooves and strength that was completely ruining the ground around them.

Aria took another swing, but this time her eyes went wide as she felt her other three legs give out from under her. Her legs suddenly splayed out in all directions as she collapsed to the ground. Her breathing ragged and uneven as she tried desperately to catch breath that had seemingly long left her lungs.

Reared up on her back legs, Love Tap stopped kicking her forehooves out and lowered herself back onto all fours. She let out a sigh of relief and shook her head back in forth quickly, forcing dirt and loose bits of rocks to fall out of it. “Phew… I was wondering if that would ever happen.”

“Huff…Puff… I’m… I’m fine!” Aria insisted as she tried and failed to get back to her hooves. “I’m just… just—” Aria swallowed “—I’m just a bit winded!”

Love Tap shook her head. “You’re completely out of energy.”

“Screw you!” Aria shot back irritably. “Huff…Puff… What do you know?!”

Love Tap chuckled. “You attack… no… you do everything with all your strength all the time! No wonder you’re so grumpy! Your muscles must be killing you!”

Aria frowned slightly and stared up at her eyelashes. “Muscles… Sure… Let’s go with that.”

Love Tap trotted forward and extended a forehoof. “You need to learn how to be gentle.”

Aria glared up from the ground. “Gentle?” she practically spat out.

Love Tap looked up and bobbed her head from side to side. “Or at least not rip off doors and stuff when you open them.”

Aria sighed and put her face in the ground. She reached up a foreleg. Love Tap wrapped her own foreleg around it and pulled Aria onto her hooves.

Aria teetered slightly.

Love Tap quickly placed herself alongside Aria and grabbed one of Aria’s forelegs, draping it across her neck. “Here, lean on me.”

Aria’s face flushed red as she looked at the ground, her arm around Love Tap. The two began to slowly trot back to town.

Love Tap chuckled. “Are you okay with hayburgers? I don’t really feel like cooking much at the moment.”

Aria’s stomach growled for her before she could speak up. “Works for me,” Aria said. “I’m starving.”

“Me too,” Love Tap said. Her brow suddenly tightened as she continued to walk forward.

Aria gave her a quizzical look. “Something wrong?”

Love Tap shook her head. “I don’t know, I swear I’ve forgotten something…” Love Tap’s steel blue eyes suddenly shot open wide. “Oh no… Oh no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no!”

“Dude, calm down!” Aria exclaimed. “What the heck is eating you all of a sudden?”

Love Tap turned to Aria with a panicked expression. “How good is Sonata with watching kids?!”

Aria didn’t speak. She didn’t make a sound. She just stared at Love Tap with her deep amethyst eyes. Her mouth remained emotionless as Aria tilted her head up as far as she could until it was almost at a 90-degree angle from its starting position.

Love Tap felt her heart pound hard in her chest, even harder than it had fighting Aria. “Oh, horse apples!”

Chapter 5: Why do We Fall?

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 6: The Verdict

-o~A few minutes ago~o-

Love Tap threw open the door to her house with all the grace and subtlety of a rhino on a raw coffee bean-fueled rampage. Although her coat as well as some bruises on her body showed the tell-tale signs of battle, she galloped down the blue carpeted hallway at full speed. “BUTTTON! SONATA!” She shouted loudly. “ARE YOU TWO HERE?!”

Aria trotted in after Love Tap, looking much worse for wear than Love Tap. Wincing with each step, she reached for the doorknob and slowly closed the door until it made a ‘click’. With a satisfied smile, Aria collapsed onto the floor right in front of the door. “Ow… Everything hurts...” She flicked an ear and cringed hard. “Even things I didn’t know could get sore hurt…”

“BUUUUTTTON! SOOOOONAAAAATAAAAA!” Love Tap hollered into the house.

“Honey?!” Chip hollered back. “Is everything alright?”

“No!” Love Tap answered. “Have you seen Button and Sonata?!”

“No… I’ve been designing our expansions ever since Princess Twilight left.” Chip said, accompanied by the sound of somepony walking about upstairs. “I didn’t know they were even gone!” Chip soon appeared, walking down the stairs and into the hallway. “When did—What the heck happened to you two?!”

Still lying on the floor, Aria examined her forelegs noticing that several spots were even more purple than normal. “Each other,” she answered simply.

Love Tap rushed up to Chip and placed her forehooves on his shoulders. “Just some mother/new daughter bonding sparring.” She began to shake Chip causing his head to flop back and forth. “NOW WE NEED TO FIND BUTTON AND SONATA!”

“Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa…” Chip placed his forehooves on his wife’s shoulders and ceased the shaking. “OKAY! Just… calm down for a second! What happened?”

Love Tap sighed. “Sonata jumped out the window with Button on her back.”

Chip chuckled. “Out the window…” He gave his wife a loving look. “That takes me back.”

“Focus, Chip!” Love Tap cried. “We need to find Button before he gets seriously hurt!”

“Or mentally scarred!” Aria added. “If he’s with Sonata there’s no telling what might happen.”

Chip winced. “Is she really that bad?”

“She once took a buncha kids to Disneyland,” Aria informed.

“… What’s ‘Disneyland’?” Chip asked.

Aria sighed. “It’s an amusement park! Keep up with me pony-peeps!”

Love Tap knotted her forehead in confusion. “Wait, I thought you said she was bad with kids.”

“No… You asked how good Sonata was with watching kids! I just gave you a look as if the question you asked was incredibly stupid because it was incredibly stupid!”

Love Tap grit her teeth. “Okay, well if she took kids to an amusement park, what happened?”

“Well, it was sort of during school hours,” Aria said, “and none of the kids’ parents knew their kids were going to Disneyland… Or their teachers… or anyone at the school really. Also Sonata didn’t know any of the kids… and they didn’t know they were going to Disneyland that day either… I mean… I guess you could technically say she kidnapped them.”

“… WHAT?!” Love Tap and Chip exclaimed in unison.

“Yeah… See, Adagio and I didn’t want to go with her, but she didn’t want to go alone, so she hijacked a bus and wrote ‘FREE TRIP TO DISNEYLAND’ on it, and then drove it to a school where—”

“WERE THE KIDS ALRIGHT AT LEAST?!” Love Tap cried.

“Well… no one needed to go to the hospital, if that’s what you mean.”

Love Tap and Chip let out a sigh of relief.

“But like… I’m not sure watching Sonata brutally beat up the park’s mascot and then break out a lighter where she—”

“OH MY CELESTIA!” Love Tap cried. “WHAT?! WHY?!”

Aria sighed and began explaining as Love Tap and Chip’s expressions became more and more horrified the longer she continued. “Well she submitted an entire storyboard for this House of Mouse episode where the villains take hostages and threaten to kill them unless their demands are met, but then it’s taking too long so they start executing the hostages all Jigsawstyle… Like… there was a part where a buncha the characters were stuck in a freezer and the only way to stay warm was to use that talking wooden puppet who…” Aria’s forehead tightened. “Wait… ”

Chip swallowed. “Wait, what?” Chip he asked.

“I think… I think that puppet turned into a real boy at the end of his movie… And… and… even that beast guy turned into like… a handsome prince dude at the end of his? Also his talking clock and the french candle dude and the tea set and stuff should have been human too… I’m starting to think that show was messed up even without Sonata’s help.”

“Never mind!” Love Tap snapped. “Just… Just WE NEED TO FIND BUTTON!”

“Do you know where they might have went?” Chip asked.

Love Tap closed her eyes hard and tapped the side of her head with a forehoof. “Right, right… Uh… Sorry. Took a few blows to the head but Button said something about—”

“They could still be here, you know?” Aria said.

Love Tap and Chip gave Aria a blank look.

Aria continued, “Sonata sometimes likes to play hide and seek… and then forget who’s hiding and who’s seeking… I mean… this is a thing that has happened… Several times. Hell… sometimes she doesn’t even tell anyone she’s playing hide and seek and just goes missing for a few hours or days even.” Aria sighed wistfully. “Those are the best days.”

Chip pulled out his mustache. “Button would find a hiding spot and stay there for a looooooong time before he realized no pony was coming…”

“I’ll check upstairs!” Love Tap exclaimed as she rushed down the hallway towards the stairs.

“I’ll check the basement!” Chip cried as he rushed down the hallway, threw open a door, and bolted down a set of stairs.

“I’ll check the floor,” Aria said as she made no attempt to move. “Oh look, they’re not here!” she said to the empty hallway. “Well, guess I’ll just stick around in case they show up.”

“WAIT A MINUTE!” Love Tap cried as she suddenly came galloping back down the stairs. “If they were here, why didn’t they answer when I called them?”

Aria shook her head. “Sonata wouldn’t respond if she was hiding… You kinda have to call out for her and listen for a giggle.”

“Well, what about Button?”

“How the heck would I know?! I just met him today!”

Love Tap let out a frustrated sigh as the basement door suddenly opened and Chip walked out with a thousand-yard stare on his face.

Love Tap turned to him with an inquisitive expression on her face before wincing. “Gibson and Adagio are still down there…”

Chip nodded, closing the basement door behind him to block out the sounds of ecstatic moans floating out from the room. His eyes still pointed far off into the distance. “Thankfully all I saw was a massive orange blob of a moist mane flying out in all directions. What I heard, however…”

“GHAH!” Love Tap cried in frustration. She rushed up to her husband and placed her hooves on his shoulders “Chip! We need to find Button! I promise after we find him, tonight I’ll do plenty to make you forget all about the basement.”

Chip’s Amber eyes suddenly focused on his wife’s steel blue ones. “Your proposal is acceptable.”

Love Tap turned to the purple earth pony laying in front of the door. “Aria!” she snapped.

Aria sighed. “Do I need to do something?”

“YES! Get up!” Love Tap’s brow wrinkled into a ‘V’ to form an appropriately vexed expression. “I just remembered something Button said... And in any case, I just might need your help with Sonata.”

“Tch!” Aria uttered with a smile, her legs shaking as she got back up on her hooves. “‘Might’?”

Love Tap made a mad dash for the door, throwing it open as she looked back into the house. “Okay, so if they’re not back, they must be still—”

“—fun?”

-o~ Fast forward back to now…~o-

“Pushing?”Love Tap said in an angry dark tone as she stared down the wilting pegasus in front of her.

Standing next to Aria, Chip glanced at his son and then stared off into space. “Dislocated shoulder, huh? That also takes me back…”

Aria raised an eyebrow and pointed at Love Tap. “Was she a troublemaker too when she was younger?”

Chip let out cheerful scoff as he grinned. “‘Troublemaker’ is a huge understatement! And I mean… I’d like to say she’s causes less trouble now, but—”

Love Tap turned to growl in a warning tone at the two ponies still in the house who clamped their mouths shut. She then turned back to Sonata and went back to staring at her with a violent intensity. “You were saying…?”

“Wa-well, I me-mean…” Sonata stammered out. “You see what happened was I kinda forgot Button was an earth pony and—“

Love Tap let loose an animalistic, angry snarl as she rose to her full height. Sonata in turn lowered herself onto her stomach as she stared up fearfully at the rage-filled mare above her.

“… Mom… ?” Button called out in a questioning tone.

“Not now, sweetie!” Love Tap said through clenched teeth. “Mommy is seething with blinding, nigh-uncontrollable fury.”

Sonata glanced at Aria with a pleading look on her face.

Aria smirked and shook her head. “Sorry Sonata, you’re on your own for this one. And take it from someone in the know… You’re going to have a bad time.”

Sonata let out a frightened whimper.

“Honey?” Chip called out.

“NOT NOW, DARLING! AGAIN, RIDING THE MOTHER OF ALL WRATHFUL WAVES ON A SURFBOARD MADE OF ANIMOGANY WOOD RIGHT NOW!”

“HONEY!” Chip said forcefully.

Love Tap shot Sonata a furious sneer and turned towards her husband. “WHAT?!” she snapped.

Chip nodded towards Button. “Look at what our son is doing, or rather not doing.”

Love Tap tightened her brow in confusion then turned towards Button, examining him closely. She felt her rage boil up inside her as she saw his limb dangling out of place, her eyes going up the dislocated shoulder to his inquisitive face were… were…

…

Realization hit Love Tap like a massive tree that had just fallen out of the sky. “Button! Why aren’t you crying?!”

Button smiled. “Sonata said if I cry the world wins!” he answered cheerfully. “So right now I’m beating the world!”

Love Tap shot a confused glance at Sonata for a moment. “What?”

Aria let out a scoff. “Sonata, don’t tell me you told the runt that same thing Adagio tells you when she wants you to stop crying.”

Sonata narrowed her eyes at Aria. “I will tell you that, because that’s exactly what I did!” she said, punctuating her statement by sticking her tongue out at Aria.

“Huh?” Love Tap said. She turned towards Aria. “Wait, what’s this thing that Adagio tells Sonata?”

“Oh, it’s like… The world is out to get you and need to not cry to show that you’re better than it or something…” Aria shook her head. “Personally, I like to punch the planet or like… slice up a shrub to remind the world who’s boss.”

Love Tap turned back to Button, the anger on her face having disappeared at this point. “And that… that worked?”

Button nodded. “Yeah, mom! I mean… my leg feels weird and hurts a bit, but I right now I’m winning at life!”

“Uh-huh…” Love Tap said. She looked down at Sonata. “Sonata?”

Sonata threw her forelegs over her face as she began to quiver on the ground. “OHGOD, PLEASEDON’TKILLME!”

Love Tap smiled warmly at Sonata. “Could you take Button inside? We need to get that shoulder back in place as soon as possible.”

“YES, NEW MOMMY!” Sonata said hastily as she scrambled inside, Button holding on as tightly as he could to her back as she practically bolted behind Aria.

Love Tap chuckled to herself, walked inside and closed the door.

The group walked down that hallway and into the living room as Chip examined Button’s dislocated shoulder. “I guess I better get some ice…”

“And ice cream!” Sonata said excitedly. “That’ll help!”

“Uh… sure,” Chip said as he turned and began trotting away. “Why not?”

“Yaaa-Owww!” Button said cheerfully as he attempted to wave his forelegs around.

Aria gently grabbed Button with her forehooves and put him on the floor. “Hey little dude, let me fix that leg for you.”

“Okay, bigger sis!” Button said cheerfully.

Aria smirked and raised an eyebrow as she reached for Button’s limp leg.

Love Tap’s eyes widened in surprise and concern. “Aria? Are you sure…”

“Yeah, yeah… Gentle right?” Aria replied.

“Ye-yeah…” Love Tap replied in an unsure tone.

Sonata smiled at Button “Remember Button! Don’t cry~!”

Button smiled back at Sonata. “I won’t, big sis!”

“Uh…” Aria gently wrapped a forehoof around Button’s leg. “It’s alright to cry sometimes, lil dude… I mean… this is really going to hurt.”

Button frowned slightly then smiled again. “Okay, but Sonata said that ice cream would—”

With a quick jerk, Aria pulled on Button’s leg which responded with a sharp ‘snap!’

Button let out a startled, pained yelp, then bit his lower lip, tears coming to his eyes.

Love Tap cringed then rushed to her son’s side.

“There,” Aria said simply. “Good as new.”

“Button…?” Love Tap asked in a tone marinated in motherly concern. “How do you feel?”

Still biting his quivering lip, Button looked down at his previously dislocated leg and slowly placed it on the purple carpeted floor of the living room. He let out a sigh of relief and looked up at Love Tap with large, glassy, smiling eyes and a matching look on his lips. “I feel alright, mom!” he said in a slightly strained voice. He turned towards Aria with the same happy look on his face. “Thanks, bigger sis! It’s starting to feel a lot better.”

Aria chuckled and shook her head. “Dang, lil’ dude. You got some huevos on you.”

“Uh… Thanks?” Button replied. “I think?”

“Sure, dude,” Aria looked up at Love Tap. “I wonder where you got those from?” she said with a knowing smile.

Love Tap narrowed her eyes slightly as she smiled back at Aria. “I’d be offended right now if I knew what that word meant, wouldn’t I?”

Aria nodded. “Probably.”

Love Tap chuckled and shook her head.

“Honey?” Chip called from the kitchen. “Uh… The door to the fridge is just lying on the ground. I’ve been staring at it dumbfounded for like a minute now,,,”

“It’s fine!” Love Tap called back. “Just grab some ice and ice cream… The freezer door should still be intact.”

“Alright!” Chip called back.

Love Tap looked over Aria and Sonata. “Could you two give Button a bath?”

“What?!” Button protested. “Mom! I’m not a baby!”

Love Tap shook her head. “I don’t want you straining that leg of yours, besides”— She looked Aria and Sonata up and down –“I think your new sisters could use a good cleanup themselves.”

Sonata’s face lit up. “FIRST ONE THERE GETS TO BE THE DESPOT OF ALL THE RUBBER DUCKIES!” she exclaimed as she bolted out the room and towards the stairs in the hallway.

“HEY! WAIT!” Button called as he began trotting after Sonata, adding a little “Ow” with each step of his right foreleg.

Love Tap rolled her eyes and looked at Aria. “The bathroom is on the ground floor. First door as you come inside,” she informed.

Aria nodded. “Gotcha so, uh… Are we cool?” she asked in an unsure tone.

Love Tap chuckled. “We’re cool,” she answered. “For now…” she added with a sly smile.

“Heh. Fair ‘nuff,” Aria replied.

“Could you grab Button and take him into the bathroom? I think he’s trying a little too hard to beat the world right now.”

“Sure,” Aria said as she trotted out the room and caught up to Button. “Head’s up, Runt!”

“Ow. Huh? Head’s-WHA!” Button exclaimed as Aria got up alongside Button, placed her head under his stomach, and then lifted her neck, causing Button to slide onto her back.

Sonata suddenly bolted down the stairs and rushed after Aria. “Hey, no fair! No one told me where the bathroom was!”

“Tch,” Aria replied as she walked into the bathroom, Button on her back. “Not my fault you’re too stupid to ask someone where you’re going before you take off.”

“Yeah well… YOU GOT BEAT UP BY A GIRL!” Sonata cried as she galloped into the bathroom.

“Uh… big sis?” Button interjected. “You almost got beat up by the same girl… and a much smaller but probably no less scary girl today, too.”

“HAH!” Aria called derisively. “Betcha Button had to save you that time too!”

“Button!” Sonata called out irritably. “No fair! You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“I’m sorry, big sis,” Button replied. “I was too busy ruling all the rubber duckies to pay attention to you just now.

“WHAT?!” Aria protested. “Hey! I technically was in the bathroom firs-WHY AM I ARGUING ABOUT THIS?!”

Love Tap let out a mirthful laugh and shook her head as she walked out of the living room and into the kitchen where she witnessed as Chip carefully added a small scoop of brown, white, and red ice cream to one of seven bowls. Once the scoop was added, Chip tilted his head and stared carefully at the bowl, comparing it to the others that already had scoops of ice cream added.

“Got it all figured out there, honey?” Love Tap asked, the laughter apparent in her voice.

Chip turned and smiled. “As best as I can with my eyes. Maybe I should break out the kitchen scale.”

Love Tap chuckled and walked up to Chip so she could drape a foreleg over his neck and lean her head against his. “So what do you think?”

“About the girls?” Chip asked. “Well, I guess it’ll be a bit more active around here, but I don’t really care about that.” He shook his head. “Then again, I spent most the day drawing up blueprints for all the extensions to the house and cackling madly to myself.” He gave Love Tap a concerned look. “You’re the one who’s been dealing with them for the better part of today. What do you think?”

Love Tap opened her mouth for to speak but was cut off by several ‘knock’s against a heavy wooden surface. “Hold that thought,” she said with a smile as she kissed Chip on the cheek and removed her foreleg from around his neck. She trotted out of the kitchen and into the hallway where the sounds of running water and child-like giggling could be heard through a cracked open door. Smiling to herself, she trotted past that door to the front door which she opened.

Twilight Sparkle stood on the front door step sporting the mother of all apologetic looks.

Love Tap smiled. “Oh, hi Princess Twilight…” She gave Twilight a sheepish look. “Er… Sorry… Am I supposed to bow, or—”

“It’s fine!” Twilight said raising a forehoof. “Look, I came to apologize for earlier today.”

“… Apologize?”

Twilight nodded. “It was really unfair of me to put you in that position. Compensation or not, I didn’t give you any time to think about all your new responsibilities, or what you were getting into. Additionally, I especially didn’t give you time to think about the changes and impacts this would have on your family. And I’m really sorry. That was… that was just a very unprincess like thing to do!”

Love Tap chuckled. “I suppose it was. Thank you, Princess Twilight.”

“Please just call me Twilight.”

“Thank you, Twilight,” Love Tap said earnestly. “Apology accepted.”

Twilight let out a relieved sigh. “Okay… Well… er… How did your first day with the girls go?” Twilight’s eyes shot opened as if she finally took note of the condition Love Tap was in. “And what the heck happened to you?!”

“Hmm?” Love Tap looked down at her coat and forelegs, noting some discoloration from bruises. “Oh, right! Aria and I had a little brawl… that sort of wrecked a bit of the Everfree forest.”

“WHAT?!” Twilight exclaimed. She swallowed. “I’m… I’m afraid to ask, but… but… Did they do anything else?”

Love Tap nodded. “Sonata dislocated one of Button’s legs.”

“OH MY CELESTIA! I’MSORRY,I’MSORY,I’M—”

The door to the basement flew open. “Moooom! Daaaad!” Gibson called out. “Can I get like… a blanket? Or… Do we have a tarp? … Adagio? Blanket or Tarp?!”

“Tarp!” Adagio called back. “My hair is just soaked in fluids and I’m not even sure a comforter is going to cut it at this point!”

Love Tap glanced upwards as if just remembering something. “Oh! And Adagio deflowered my teenaged son.”

Twilight’s jaw unhinged as she let out a continuous, scratchy groan like a scream that was somehow stuck in her throat.

Love Tap turned back into the house. “CHIP! CAN YOU BRING ADAGIO A TARP? I’M TALKING WITH PRINCESS TWILIGHT.”

There was a brief pause. “… OKAY! BUT ONCE I GET IT, I’M WALKING OVER THERE WITH MY EYES CLOSED!”

“YOUR PROPOSAL IS ACCEPTABLE, DEAR!” Love Tap turned back to Twilight. “I’m sorry. You were saying?”

Twilight shook her head from side to side hard turning back towards Love Tap with the grandmother of all apologetic looks. “Oh. My. GOSH. I’m just so, soooo sorry! Look! Just… keep the money! I’ll take the girls and figure something else out where you won’t—”

“Oh, that won’t be necessary,” Love Tap said with a smile.

“—ever, ever, ever haveto—” Twilight did a double take. “Excuse me?”

“It’s fine, the girls can stay,” Love Tap said.

“I…” Twilight looked at Love Tap in disbelief. “You’re sure. Like absolutely sure?”

Love Tap nodded her head. “Like you said, I’m really good with children.”

“Alright, but the girls aren’t—”

From inside the house there was the sound of sloshing water followed by shouting.

“SONATA! BUTTON! STOP SPLASHING!” Aria shouted.

“NEVER!” Sonata cried. “ME AND MY LOYAL BAND OF DUCKIE PROLETARIATS REJECT THE BUTTON BOURGEOISIE! VIVA LA REVOLUTION!”

Button laughed maniacally. “YOU’LL NEVER OVERTHROW THE MASH DESPOTISM DUCKTATORSHIP! HA HA HA!”

“DUCTATORSHIP?!” Sonata cried. “Awwww, man! How are we going to overthrow the stratocracy when it has a name like that?!”

“BOTH OF YOU STOP MAKING UP WORDS!” Aria cried.

Love Tap’s face turned beet red as she turned and looked into the house.

Twilight peeked past Love Tap to glance into the house. “No really… Are you sure you’re okay with the girls staying?”

“Oh my GOSH!” Love Tap cried as her lips curled upwards. “I didn’t… I didn’t think the girls would actually get into the tub with Button! That’s adorable!” She turned back to Twilight. “Yes, I’m sure the girls can stay.”

Twilight gave Love Tap an unsure smile. “Okay… Well… in addition to everything you and your family asked for, if you need anything else—”

“SERIOUSLY, YOU TWO!”Aria cried. “CALM—”

Preceded by a metallic ‘crunch’, the noise of highly pressurized water shooting into an open space sounded out from the bathroom.

“SEE WHAT YOU TWO MADE ME DO?!”Aria cried.

“‘AHHH!’ Button cried out in alarm. “DUCKIES! SAVE YOUR LEADER! YOUR DUCKTATOR DEMANDS IT!”

“Wait…” Sonata said from the bathroom. “Don’t you need to be a duck to be a ducktator, or is the fact that you dictate over a bunch of ducks mea-WHARRGARBLE!”

Love Tap turned and looked into the house, watching with Twilight as water poured out of the bathroom and began flooding the hallway.

“Uh… Mom?! Dad?!” Gibson called from the basement. “I’m not sure if either of you are aware but the basement is sort of filling with water here?”

“You know what?” Adagio added. “This is fine. I mean… I can at least roll around on the floor and rinse my hair that way.”

Twilight cleared her throat. “As I was saying, if you need anything, like a plumber for instance, just let me know.”

Love Tap turned to Twilight and nodded. “You know, I think I could use a plumber kinda soonish.”

Twilight nodded her head up and down. “I know a pair of brothers who are really good with pipes…”

“Oh! And would you mind just going to Hayburger’s and ordering like… two of everything and like a bucket of hayfries?”

“Oh, like a Princess Twilight special?”

“… That’s… that’s an actual thing?”

“Yep!” Twilight replied.

“So… what exactly is a ‘Princess Twilight special’?”

“It’s exactly what you just asked for.”

Love Tap chuckled. “Fine, and uh… Could we get a new fridge tomorrow maybe? The door sort of got ripped off our old one.”

Twilight stared at Love Tap blankly for a second.

Love Tap smiled. “It’s been quite the day.”

Twilight glanced past Love Tap as Sonata floated out of the bathroom, upside-down and covered with suds and a soapy Button on her stomach as well as a dozen or more rubber duckies sitting on her outstretched wings. Love Tap once again turned to see what Twilight was watching. “Yes, I don’t doubt that,” Twilight replied to Love Tap as she stared into the house.

“Hi, new mommy! Hi, Purple Smart,” Sonata greeted cheerfully as she floated down the hallway.

“Hi, mom! Hi, Princess Twilight Sparkle!” Button said.

Button of the S.S. Sonata and his duck crew floated down the hallway just a bit until the water current took them partway into the basement, Sonata’s wings stopping them in the doorway.

“Hi, Gibson! Hi, biggest sis!” Button greeted cheerfully.

“Uh… hey, squirt?” Gibson replied.

“Biggest Sis?!” Adagio cried. “That better be reference to the amount of hair I have and not my weight!”

“Hi, Adagio! Hi, uh… music pony?” Sonata greeted.

Gibson sighed. “Really? Button just said my name!”

“… Is it ‘biggest sis’?”

“HEY!” Aria shouted. “I CAN USE SOME HELP IN THE BATHROOM!”

“… What kind of help?!” Gibson shouted back.

“… SERIOUSLY?!”Aria cried. “YOU NEED ME TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU?!”

“… Yes?”

“OH, COME ON!”

Adagio lent her voice to the cross-hallway discussion. “GIBSON ASKED YOU A QUESTION, ARIA!”

“FOR THE RECORD, I HATE YOU ALL!”Aria exclaimed.

“… Even me?!” Button called out in a slightly saddened tone.

“FOR THE RECORD, I HATE YOU ALL EXCEPT THE RUNT!”

“YAAAAAA-OW-AAAAAAY!”

Chip suddenly walked into the hallway and then literally into one of the walls of the hallway, smacking right into it with his eyes closed and a folded up blue tarp over his back. “Ow! Okay… I don’t know why the carpet is suddenly wet but this seems like even more reason not to open my eyes!”

Love Tap turned back towards Twilight.

Twilight was still staring into the house, but now with a slightly glazed over expression. It was as if she had long since gone past disbelief and her mind was now in a place far, far away from the reality her body was forced to participate in.

“Twilight, would you excuse me?” Love Tap said. She pointed behind her into the house with a forehoof. “I have a bunch of things that are probably going to need my attention pretty soon here.”

Twilight shook her head. “Right… right… I’ll just… get that food for you… maybe order a second Princess Twilight Special…”

Love Tap chuckled. “Meeting at the castle with the other Elements of Harmony, are you?”

“Huh? Oh, no. It’s just me and Spike tonight.”

Love Tap gave Twilight a blank look. “And Spike’s a heavy eater?”

“Well, gems, sure!” Twilight replied. Twilight’s eyes suddenly widened as she forced an awkward smile to her face. She pointed behind her with a forehoof. “I’m just… I… I’m just going to go now,” she said in an embarrassed, half-whisper.

Love Tap smiled and waved. “See you soon, Twilight!”

“See you soon!” Twilight said with a smile as she turned and took off into the sky.

Love Tap chuckled to herself and turned. Noting Button and Sonata were no longer in the basement doorway, likely having gone into the basement, she walked inside.

“Really, though!” Adagio cried. “Why am I ‘biggest sister?!”

“More importantly,” Gibson chimed in. “Can you two stop treating the flooding basement as a pool and maybe help me save all the amps and instruments down here?”

“NEVER!” Sonata cried. “HIS DUCKTATORSHIPNESS HAS CLAIMED THIS AND EVERYTHING IN IT! ALL THIS STUFF NOW BELONGS TO HIS MOST HIGH QUACKYNESS!”

“‘Most high quackyness?!’” Button exclaimed. “Does that mean I’m a space duck?”

“STILL REFUSING TO OPEN MY EYES!” Chip shouted as he stumbled blindly through the hallway, bumping off one wall then the other.

“OH MY GOD!” Ariacried. “SERIOUSLY?! NO ONE IS GOING TO HELP ME TRY TO PLUG THIS HOLE?!”

“Right, forget the instruments,” Gibson said. “I just want upstairs into that bathroom at this point.”

“Not before me you don’t!” Adagio cried.

“RIGHT! EVERYONE NOT BUTTON IS OFFICIALLY DEAD TO ME!”

“I’M SPECIAL!” Button cried happily.

“Oh yeah?!” Sonata replied. “I’ll have you know I’ve personally been told by some very reliable sources I was made special!”

Adagio sighed heavily. “Would these sources happen to be vegetables, Sonata?”

“Talking vegetables!”

“AGH!” Chip called out in alarm. “PLEASE TELL ME WHOEVER JUST KISSED ME ON THE MOUTH WAS MY WIFE!”

Love Tap let out a mirthful laugh. “Oh, it most definitely was!”

“OH, THANK CELESTIA!”

“YOU KNOW WHAT? FINE! I’M JUST GOING TO SEE HOW LONG I CAN KEEP MY HEAD UNDERWATER FOR BEFORE I START DROWNING! ‘KAY THANKS, BYE!”

Part 1: Epilogue

Aria Blaze raised a forehoof to her mouth and let out a few hacking coughs before she rolled onto her side, pulling baby blue covers over herself as she faced a wood-grain wall in the dimness of the night. “I miss being aquatic…” she muttered from the floor.

Adagio Dazzle turned, her mass of orange curls shifting slightly to reveal a pillowcase with a cross-shaped directional-pad design along with two rectangular black buttons, and two red circle ones. “You were the one stupid enough to actually try and drown yourself!” she snapped as she laid on a bed under a gray bedspread, and a light blue forehoof belonging to Sonata Dusk.

Aria turned to fire off a glare at that mass of orange curls hanging out from under the blankets and off the side of the bed. “It’s been a pretty stressful day for me, and you two certainly didn’t help! You never help!”

Adagio rolled her eyes. “You’re the one who picked a fight with our new hostess.”

Sonata let out a soft tired giggle as she cozied up to Adagio and laid her head on the unicorn’s chest. “New mommy is the strongest…” she murmured.

“Well, how the heck was I supposed to know she was using being a mom as a cover for the fact that she’s some extremely gifted fighter!” Aria frowned. “You think like… She’s got a tragic backstory there? Like she accidentally killed a pony in the ring or maybe there’s just too much blood on her hands—”

“Hooves,” Adagio corrected.

“—Right, hooves, and now she’s just trying to settle down and put her past behind her?”

“I’m not sure how that would matter,” Adagio said.

Aria shrugged. “I thought it’d be cool… but maybe we can find out and blackmail her with it?”

“… And whom would we be blackmailing her against?!” Adagio asked. “I got the impression Chip knows her inside and out both literally and figuratively, Gibson just has one thing on his mind at his age, and Button would probably think it’s cool! So, I ask again, whom could we possibly threaten to bring this information to, if indeed it even exists?”

“Uh… Princess Twilight Sparkle?” Aria suggested.

Adagio rolled her eyes. “Unlikely. If anything, that’d just bolster the idea that Love Tap can handle us three…”

“Society!” Sonata suggested as she threw a forehoof directly into the air, knocking the covers back.

Grumbling to herself, Adagio looked up at her horn. It flashed a dim, hazy green for a moment, then went back to its inert light-orange self. With a snarl, it glowed green once more and a small green haze drifted out to grab the edge of the blanket and pull it back over Adagio and Sonata.

Aria shook her head. “Naw… Love Tap doesn’t care what other ponies think of her.” She turned to look up at the ceiling. “She’s cool like that…”

“Hehehe! New Mommy is pretty neat!” Sonata agreed.

Adagio smirked in Aria’s direction. “Sounds like you’re developing a little crush on her.”

“What, no!” Aria insisted. “Besides, what about you and Gibson?!”

Adagio let out a short derisive laugh. “Gibson? I’ll grant the boy has excellent growth potential—”

Aria let out a pained groan.

“—but he’s just a horny teenager.”

“Who can play the guitar and is in a band!” Sonata pointed out.

“Yes, yes,” Adagio said, “so he’s not a complete loser.” She shook her head. “It’s not like he means anything to me.”

Sonata giggled. “I like Button and his friends! They’re fun!”

Adagio looked down and tossed Sonata a wayward look. “No getting attached.”

“I knooooow…” Sonata said in the tone of a child who was getting tired of being told the same thing over and over again.

“I mean it!” Adagio stressed. “The both of you. Remember that this is just temporary.”

“Well, duh, Dagi,” Sonata commented. “They told us sharing a room was just until the construction of the new additions were done.”

“I’m not talking about this stupid room arrangement!” snapped Adagio. A smirk that only communicated malicious intent crawled onto her face. “Twilight’s keeping us close but not close enough. It’s just a matter of time before we slip away from that naive Princess and are back on track to turning all the ponies of Equestria into one big audience to serve us the love we deserve.”

“Yeah, right,” Aria replied sarcastically. “Us getting our asses handed to use by the Rainbooms was just the first step in some big plan of yours.”

“I’ll admit that was a bit of a setback,” Adagio said.

“We lost our gems, stupid,” Aria quipped, “there’s setback and then there’s uncontrollable dumpster bonfire.”

Sonata snorted out a laugh.

Adagio rolled her eyes. “I know patience, forward-thinking, and not being an idiot isn’t your strong suit, Aria, but we’re far from out of the game.” Adagio glanced towards her horn and smiled. “Twilight’s unwittingly given us all the tools we need to succeed…” Adagio glanced down at her red gem and frowned slightly. “Did… did anybody—”

“AnyPONY,” Sonata corrected.

Adagio sighed. “—Anypony think to ask somepony else to remove their gems?”

“And what?” Aria replied, her face tightening slightly in confusion. “We just put our gems back on and asked whoever did it for us to forget what they saw?!”

“Well, you seem to be developing a repertoire of sorts with Love Tap and Sonata was with children all day… Plus, ponies are naturally forgetful and stupid…”

“Hehe, right?” Sonata quipped. “What a buncha grade ‘A’ ignore-a-mousses!”

Adagio let out a sigh heavy with annoyance.

“Sorry, Dagi,” Aria said, “Musta forgot to ask nicely if LT would take my jewelry off before we tried to smash the tar outta each-other.”

Adagio frowned. “Sonata?”

“Yes, Adagio? What is it?”

“Did YOU ask Button or one of the other kids to take off your gem?!” She snarled.

“Geez! You don’t need to yell! It’s night-night time!” Sonata’s voice dropped to a whisper. “You’re supposed to talk like this!”

“Well, pay attention to conversation context,” Adagio said. “Now did you get one of the kids to take your gem off or not?”

“No!” Sonata whispered. “I was too busy teaching Button how to fly and then saving him after I realized that probably wasn’t going to happen!”

Arai shook her head. “I can’t believe LT didn’t turn you into a greasy stain after you brought back the squirt with a dislocated shoulder.”

“Of course!” Sonata said excitedly. “Oops…” She began to whisper once more. “Of course. New Mommy is the best!”

“You two are useless!” Adagio quipped.

“Well, what about you?” Aria replied. “You and Gibson were having hot and heavy times!” She put on a fake smile, widened her eyes, and batted her eyelashes. “All you had to say was, ‘Hey, my gem is chaffing my neck, could you…?’ Or ‘I have an idea! Let’s put my gem around your massive horse member!’ or even ‘Take off my gem!’.”

“I…” Adagio’s forehead crinkled and she pursed her lips. “Oh, that clever little strumpet, she made it so we can’t talk about our gems when other ponies are around!” Adagio took a quick glance to one side of the room. “Or at least when they can’t hear.”

Aria rolled her eyes. “That sounds like a convenient excuse to cover the fact you dropped the ball, Adagio,” she quipped.

Adagio just chuckled. “This is going to be a little more challenging than I thought.” Another smile that could only mean devious attempt spread across Adagio’s face. “Which will make our inevitable victory over Princess Twilight and all of Equestria all the sweeter! HeheheheheMuaahahaha—”

“Hey, big sis’s?” Buttons voice called out as a collection a fiery orange-brown mane shifted from inside a checkered dark and light green sleeping bag with a few black squares arranged into a sort of frowning or perhaps shouting face. “I’m trying to sleep, can you three keep it down?”

A trio of ‘Sorry’s escaped the girl’s lips.

“It’s fine…” Button replied sleepily as he turned his head and closed his eyes. “G’night big sis’s! I love you.”

“Night, squirt,” Aria said.

“Love you, too, Button!” Sonata replied.

Glaring slightly, Adagio looked down and swatted the top of Sonata’s head with a forehoof.

“Owie,” Sonata replied as she rubbed her head, grumpily glared at Adagio, and turned in the bed to face away from Adagio. Sonata lightly buffered Adagio with her wings, kicking up the comforter slightly and sending a mess of Adagio’s locks about.

Sighing, Adagio’s horn glowed green again and small glowing wisps of magic energy drifted force to push her hair back into place. “Button, forget everything you’ve heard in this room tonight.”

“Forget what now?”

“Good job, Button.”

End Part 1

Chapter 7: The Whip of Moods

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