Very, Very, Very Short Stories

"He's mine! He loves me!"

"Why else would he ask me out is he didn't have feelings for me!"

Fluer de Lis and Rarity bickered and fought in the streets of Canterlot. The two had bumped into each other and, let's just say bringing up Fancy Pants, Fluer's coltfriend and Rarity's new crush, was not the best idea.

"It wasn't a date! It was a...an invitation to a party between two friends!"

"Oh, you wish! You're just jealous because I don't need him for money or a good reputation!"

This was enough for Fluer to lose it completely, jumping on Rarity, biting her forearm. Rarity returned the favor by socking her in the eye. Soon it was an all out hoof fight over the stallion. A cloud of dust formed around them.

Two hooves grabbed the lady's arms and pulled them up to reality. Both mares recognized the white stallion with a blue mane and moustache. "Fancy Pants!" they both gasped in unison. He chuckled.

"Ladies, ladies, honestly I'm flattered, but you don't need to fight over me. You can both have me!"

With that, Fancy Pants took out a long, silver sword and sliced himself completely in half. Immediately, his body hit the floor in a red, disgusting mess. The ponies around, who had been watching the fight in disbelief, were in even more disbelief. Organs spilled out of the two halves, sloshing around on the ground. Fluer puked slightly on the ground, while Rarity passed out.

Even though everypony already knows it, this proves two mare can't both have the same stallion.