Never Play Poker With A Draconequus

 It was a glorious summer day within the Crystal Empire. The idle chatter of the city’s ponies and the clacking of hooves on the cobbled stones of the shining city’s streets were the only sounds that permeated the air. All around were little colorful houses with thatched roofs, brick and stucco walls, and happy ponies in the doorways. Vendors in the marketplace called to ponies from behind their stalls and in front of their carts. The smell of baked foods and fresh produce wafted from every corner. Within the center of the city was the castle of Princess Cadance and Shining Armor.

        Today was a special day for the Princess and her husband. Cadance was giving birth to her first foal with Shining Armor next to her for emotional support. It was a glorious day, but not for everypony, as a new being was about to enter Equestria from far away…

*        *        *

The realm of Earth, a strange world, inhabited by humans who were infamous for being irrational creatures in many ways but hold great potential. It was where many of the wonderful stories that spread throughout the multiverse were born. This realm has seen the rise and fall of many tales and legends. However, like many living things, deep inside its crust holds a darker more sinister side to this seemingly benevolent planet.

Miles below the surface within a dimension of it very own, lies the underworld known as Hell: a fiery wasteland filled with the echoing screams of the souls of the damned, riddled with the undead, fiendish nightmares, and demons. In the center of Hell’s many circles is the Black Citadel, a towering structure made out of boiling sulfur, tormented sinners, and onyx stone that almost resembled a gothic cathedral.

The ruler of this underworld was once one of god’s greatest angels until he succumbed to darkness,

He is Lucifer the Devil.

It has been debated by humans on what the devil looks like but the truth is far less interesting. Lucifer was as tall as athletic human man, had ocean blue eyes and long blond hair. He wore a black tar colored suit and a blood red tie. He is the master of dark deals and vile tricks in the realm of Earth, but today he duels an ‘Old Friend’ who is just as powerful and crafty as himself.

               Lucifer sat on his blackened bone and skull throne, picking a bit of brimstone out of his teeth. He found himself rather bored as he waited for his ‘Old Friend’ to arrive for their little duel. Lucifer typically bore little patience with guests but his friend was rather unpredictable so he’d come to learn that it was best just to wait things out. A few minutes later, a cloud of pink smoke popped out of nowhere and emerging from it was none other than the Spirit of Chaos, Discord.

“Ah long time no see Lu,” Discord waved, “Still being an evil little devil I see.”

“Yes, and It seems you’re still an annoying little prick, but now that you’re here we can get to the duel,” Lucifer snorted.

“No ‘how’s it going Discord? ‘ or 'my Discord you're looking good today, who does your hair?’” Seeing Lucifer’s unamused demeanor, Discord relented. “...Fine, let’s get to business then,” Discord rolled his eyes.

“Deal out the cards,” Lucifer rough deep voice echoed throughout the halls of his underworld castle as he sat on his throne while his opponent sat on a cloud of cotton candy with a floating poker table between them.

Discord nodded as he produced a deck of cards before shuffling said deck and dealing out out enough cards such that they had enough to play. Both card players picked up five cards and while they had set up their game faces, they decided to indulge in some idle conversation.

What was the point of playing a game if you couldn’t commentate while playing the game in the first place, right?

“So, how was that little nap you took for a thousand years?” Lucifer had only barely been able to stifle a chuckle at his opponent’s expense.

“It wasn't so bad,” Discord shrugged as his cards had begun to tap dance their way out of his talon. Discord had not seemed particularly concerned. “I got out eventually and had a bit of fun....maybe you should try it.” Discord placed a card on the table and drew another from the deck.

“I would never let such little worms capture me,” Lucifer hissed, mirroring Discord before drawing a card from the deck as well. “That's the problem with your world Discord; it’s a breeding ground for weakness.”

“Right, and this lovely realm is just teeming with power. I can practically feel it swirling around me,” said Discord sarcastically as he rolled his eyes while drawing another card.

“Anyway did you see the Space Jam game last night? It was a nail bitter.” Lucifer and Discord would always watch the inter-dimensional games and take bets on who would suffer first. They’d been tied up until that point about who’d win the bets but Lucifer had been looking to break that tie and claim the lead over the spirit of chaos for himself.

“Didn’t watch it; had a fun time at a friend’s cottage last night.” Discord replied casually as he looked up from his cards to see Lucifer raise a demonic eyebrow.

“What could be more fun than watching to suffering and torment of mortals in a rigged game?” Lucifer asked incredulously.

“I was helping a friend with some home decorations, Fluttershy loves to do a bit of home renovating when she has a new animal that needs space.”

Lucifer’s jaw almost dropped, which did not stop him from laughing much to Discord’s annoyance. Discord folded his arms and stared at the laughing devil, waiting for him to stop. Lucifer took a breath and laid back in his chair with a big grin on his face.

“See, your world is weak… in only a few thousand years, you went from master of chaos to a friend of those weaklings… it’s the funniest damned thing I have ever heard!”

“Oh poor sweet Lucy, you have no idea what the power of friendship can do to a cosmic being…” His eyes glazed over at the reward Fluttershy had given him last night. It had definitely been worth it.

His all time favorite meal followed by a full night’s snuggling while playing all forms of Discord’s favorite games had definitely been worth helping Fluttershy with some home decorations. Now was an opportunity to prove it to one of his admittedly darker friends.

“In fact let’s make a bet.” Lucifer raised his eyebrows, his interest piqued.

“What are the terms of this little bet?”

“It is quite simple, if you win this poker game I will give you my powers for a time to do whatever you wish…” Lucifer liked this idea, with more power like Discord’s he could easily move up his plans to take over the realm of Earth well within a thousand years.

“However...if I win...you must give up your powers, go to my world, and you can only return when you learn about the power of friendship… does that sound good to you?”

        “What form do it get if I lose?

        “Oh don’t worry, I’ll let you share a body with a pony whom you could easily make friends, you just have to see through their eyes.”

Discord smiled a wicked grin as Lucifer hesitated at the thought of that but decided that more power was well worth the chance. The two shook on it and continued with their game in relative silence. It was clear that they both had a vested interest now and had no interest in talking to each other.

*       *         *

It was several hours of gameplay later that they were coming around the final turn of the game. Lucifer’s eyes widened as he stared at the cards on the table as it slowly dawned on him that Discord had beaten him.

“Damn…” he muttered.

“Well Lucy, a deal's a deal… time to go and meet the ponies… hahaha!” Before Lucifer could utter any sort of protest, Discord had, with a snap of his fingers, teleported Lucifer from the underworld castle.

*        *        *

           Twilight Sparkle and her five friends had traveled through the night on the train to the Crystal Empire to see Cadence and Shining Armor’s new foal. Naturally everypony was surprised to find out Twilight’s niece, Flurry Heart was a alicorn. The surprise had then turned to delight as they congratulated the new parents for their foal.

Alicorn or not. Seeing a newborn foal with your own two eyes tends to bring out a great deal of emotions; most of them joyful, not even Princess Celestia or Princess Luna, was immune the inevitable tears of joy that streaked across their faces as they took in Flurry Heart’s appearance.

While Twilight was happy for her brother and Cadence, she couldn’t help but wonder how Flurry Heart was a alicorn. Genetics notwithstanding.

“Well, this is different.” Twilight gazed at the adorable alicorn foal. She had ignored the thoughts gnawing at her mind demanding to investigate this incidence in favor of accepting Cadance’s invitation to hold her in her own hooves.

Figuring out how alicorn birthing worked could come later.

*        *        *        *

        Lucifer opened his eyes or should say his pony eyes as a bright light was shining in his face. He wasn’t sure what was going on until he remembered the bet he had made with Discord.

        “Curse that Draconequus! I bet he cheated!” Lucifer scowled as he tried to look around but this spell placed on him by Discord made him see flashes of light and black images. Eventually, he could tell the pony body he was in had gone to sleep.

        “Great, I’m in a pony body, just perfect…” Lucifer was terribly sarcastic when he was annoyed. “That’s the last time I make that kind of bet with Discord.”

        Suddenly, Lucifer heard several hoof steps approach the pony body in which he resided. The hoof steps stopped as the pony he was in opened it’s eyes. Lucifer saw six pastel colored ponies that made him want to scream… or hurl. What was weird was how they were looking at the pony, until a the pony spoke, well giggled, really.

        “Did I just giggle?! What kind of body am I in!?” Lucifer asked incredulously as the ponies in the room gave an awed sigh to Flurry Heart’s giggle.

        “You! Purple one I command you to tell me what form I am in!” Lucifer yelled at Twilight only for her to have not noticed, much to Lucifer’s continuingly increasing ire.

        “Right, I forgot… I can only see through this pony’s eyes.” If Lucifer thought this was terrible now, he clearly didn't know that it was about to get worse.

Much worse.

Cadence picked up Flurry Heart and moved her to another larger crib. However, during the move Lucifer caught a good look at his new form in a nearby mirror. To imagine the sound of Lucifer’s screaming in Flurry Heart’s body, it would not be an exaggeration to compare the scream to that of a million small yapping dogs.

        “Oh no… I’m freaking adorable!!” Lucifer was now sharing a the body of Flurry Heart, Why this was the case was easy to guess.

        “Let’s see,” Lucifer paced in Flurry Heart’s mindscape. “I’m stuck in a baby pony body and can only go home when I learn the ‘power of friendship’...there are two things I just realized...one, never play poker with Discord again...two, I’m going to be in Equestria for a while…” Lucifer sighed as Cadence was changing her daughter's diaper.

*        *        *        *

        Within the realm of chaos, Discord’s home, the Spirit of Chaos himself had turned on his television to watch Lucifer’s continuously more entertaining panicking while eating some candy covered popcorn. It was immediately obvious that was the right choice as he’d soon found himself doing it again when he’d found Lucifer continuing struggle to understand the so called power of friendship.

        “So you put Lucifer inside Flurry Heart?” A voice spoke out to Discord from beyond the veil of time and space. This didn’t bother Discord as he knew ‘The Man Upstairs’ would find out about this little charade.

        “Yep… but don’t worry,” he promised. “Flurry Heart isn’t in any danger from him, the spell I put on Lucifer will only keep him in there until his learns friendship… the only side effect is the Flurry Heart is an alicorn thanks to his powers.” Discord waited for some monologue about being good but instead he got laughter.

        “Haha… that's hilarious!” The voice echoed threw Discord’s home.

        “Glad you think so Big Man...so you want to play some poker while we wait for Lucifer to get out?” Discord smiled sinisterly. He’d already come up with all form of means to achieve victory, cheating or no.

        “Unlike Lucifer, I know to never play cards with a Draconequus.” The voice faded as Discord shrugged his shoulders and continued to watch Flurry Heart giggling with her happy parents, while Lucifer was having a panic attack inside her mind.