Never Play Poker With A Draconequus

by NyxKnight

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 4090

What happens when someone dark and vile loses a poker card game to Discord...read and find out.

What happens when someone dark and vile loses a poker card game to Discord…What does this have to do with the new foal, Flurry Heart…read and find out.

Editor- Lightning Farron

My entry into the Audio Drama Fics Group Contest - Contest Link
(got 3rd place.)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-20 01:46:16 UTC

Part 1: Always Bet On Chaos

 It was a glorious summer day within the Crystal Empire. The idle chatter of the city’s ponies and the clacking of hooves on the cobbled stones of the shining city’s streets were the only sounds that permeated the air. All around were little colorful houses with thatched roofs, brick and stucco walls, and happy ponies in the doorways. Vendors in the marketplace called to ponies from behind their stalls and in front of their carts. The smell of baked foods and fresh produce wafted from every corner. Within the center of the city was the castle of Princess Cadance and Shining Armor.

        Today was a special day for the Princess and her husband. Cadance was giving birth to her first foal with Shining Armor next to her for emotional support. It was a glorious day, but not for everypony, as a new being was about to enter Equestria from far away…

*        *        *

The realm of Earth, a strange world, inhabited by humans who were infamous for being irrational creatures in many ways but hold great potential. It was where many of the wonderful stories that spread throughout the multiverse were born. This realm has seen the rise and fall of many tales and legends. However, like many living things, deep inside its crust holds a darker more sinister side to this seemingly benevolent planet.

Miles below the surface within a dimension of it very own, lies the underworld known as Hell: a fiery wasteland filled with the echoing screams of the souls of the damned, riddled with the undead, fiendish nightmares, and demons. In the center of Hell’s many circles is the Black Citadel, a towering structure made out of boiling sulfur, tormented sinners, and onyx stone that almost resembled a gothic cathedral.

The ruler of this underworld was once one of god’s greatest angels until he succumbed to darkness,

He is Lucifer the Devil.

It has been debated by humans on what the devil looks like but the truth is far less interesting. Lucifer was as tall as athletic human man, had ocean blue eyes and long blond hair. He wore a black tar colored suit and a blood red tie. He is the master of dark deals and vile tricks in the realm of Earth, but today he duels an ‘Old Friend’ who is just as powerful and crafty as himself.

               Lucifer sat on his blackened bone and skull throne, picking a bit of brimstone out of his teeth. He found himself rather bored as he waited for his ‘Old Friend’ to arrive for their little duel. Lucifer typically bore little patience with guests but his friend was rather unpredictable so he’d come to learn that it was best just to wait things out. A few minutes later, a cloud of pink smoke popped out of nowhere and emerging from it was none other than the Spirit of Chaos, Discord.

“Ah long time no see Lu,” Discord waved, “Still being an evil little devil I see.”

“Yes, and It seems you’re still an annoying little prick, but now that you’re here we can get to the duel,” Lucifer snorted.

“No ‘how’s it going Discord? ‘ or 'my Discord you're looking good today, who does your hair?’” Seeing Lucifer’s unamused demeanor, Discord relented. “...Fine, let’s get to business then,” Discord rolled his eyes.

“Deal out the cards,” Lucifer rough deep voice echoed throughout the halls of his underworld castle as he sat on his throne while his opponent sat on a cloud of cotton candy with a floating poker table between them.

Discord nodded as he produced a deck of cards before shuffling said deck and dealing out out enough cards such that they had enough to play. Both card players picked up five cards and while they had set up their game faces, they decided to indulge in some idle conversation.

What was the point of playing a game if you couldn’t commentate while playing the game in the first place, right?

“So, how was that little nap you took for a thousand years?” Lucifer had only barely been able to stifle a chuckle at his opponent’s expense.

“It wasn't so bad,” Discord shrugged as his cards had begun to tap dance their way out of his talon. Discord had not seemed particularly concerned. “I got out eventually and had a bit of fun....maybe you should try it.” Discord placed a card on the table and drew another from the deck.

“I would never let such little worms capture me,” Lucifer hissed, mirroring Discord before drawing a card from the deck as well. “That's the problem with your world Discord; it’s a breeding ground for weakness.”

“Right, and this lovely realm is just teeming with power. I can practically feel it swirling around me,” said Discord sarcastically as he rolled his eyes while drawing another card.

“Anyway did you see the Space Jam game last night? It was a nail bitter.” Lucifer and Discord would always watch the inter-dimensional games and take bets on who would suffer first. They’d been tied up until that point about who’d win the bets but Lucifer had been looking to break that tie and claim the lead over the spirit of chaos for himself.

“Didn’t watch it; had a fun time at a friend’s cottage last night.” Discord replied casually as he looked up from his cards to see Lucifer raise a demonic eyebrow.

“What could be more fun than watching to suffering and torment of mortals in a rigged game?” Lucifer asked incredulously.

“I was helping a friend with some home decorations, Fluttershy loves to do a bit of home renovating when she has a new animal that needs space.”

Lucifer’s jaw almost dropped, which did not stop him from laughing much to Discord’s annoyance. Discord folded his arms and stared at the laughing devil, waiting for him to stop. Lucifer took a breath and laid back in his chair with a big grin on his face.

“See, your world is weak… in only a few thousand years, you went from master of chaos to a friend of those weaklings… it’s the funniest damned thing I have ever heard!”

“Oh poor sweet Lucy, you have no idea what the power of friendship can do to a cosmic being…” His eyes glazed over at the reward Fluttershy had given him last night. It had definitely been worth it.

His all time favorite meal followed by a full night’s snuggling while playing all forms of Discord’s favorite games had definitely been worth helping Fluttershy with some home decorations. Now was an opportunity to prove it to one of his admittedly darker friends.

“In fact let’s make a bet.” Lucifer raised his eyebrows, his interest piqued.

“What are the terms of this little bet?”

“It is quite simple, if you win this poker game I will give you my powers for a time to do whatever you wish…” Lucifer liked this idea, with more power like Discord’s he could easily move up his plans to take over the realm of Earth well within a thousand years.

“However...if I win...you must give up your powers, go to my world, and you can only return when you learn about the power of friendship… does that sound good to you?”

        “What form do it get if I lose?

        “Oh don’t worry, I’ll let you share a body with a pony whom you could easily make friends, you just have to see through their eyes.”

Discord smiled a wicked grin as Lucifer hesitated at the thought of that but decided that more power was well worth the chance. The two shook on it and continued with their game in relative silence. It was clear that they both had a vested interest now and had no interest in talking to each other.

*       *         *

It was several hours of gameplay later that they were coming around the final turn of the game. Lucifer’s eyes widened as he stared at the cards on the table as it slowly dawned on him that Discord had beaten him.

“Damn…” he muttered.

“Well Lucy, a deal's a deal… time to go and meet the ponies… hahaha!” Before Lucifer could utter any sort of protest, Discord had, with a snap of his fingers, teleported Lucifer from the underworld castle.

*        *        *

           Twilight Sparkle and her five friends had traveled through the night on the train to the Crystal Empire to see Cadence and Shining Armor’s new foal. Naturally everypony was surprised to find out Twilight’s niece, Flurry Heart was a alicorn. The surprise had then turned to delight as they congratulated the new parents for their foal.

Alicorn or not. Seeing a newborn foal with your own two eyes tends to bring out a great deal of emotions; most of them joyful, not even Princess Celestia or Princess Luna, was immune the inevitable tears of joy that streaked across their faces as they took in Flurry Heart’s appearance.

While Twilight was happy for her brother and Cadence, she couldn’t help but wonder how Flurry Heart was a alicorn. Genetics notwithstanding.

“Well, this is different.” Twilight gazed at the adorable alicorn foal. She had ignored the thoughts gnawing at her mind demanding to investigate this incidence in favor of accepting Cadance’s invitation to hold her in her own hooves.

Figuring out how alicorn birthing worked could come later.

*        *        *        *

        Lucifer opened his eyes or should say his pony eyes as a bright light was shining in his face. He wasn’t sure what was going on until he remembered the bet he had made with Discord.

        “Curse that Draconequus! I bet he cheated!” Lucifer scowled as he tried to look around but this spell placed on him by Discord made him see flashes of light and black images. Eventually, he could tell the pony body he was in had gone to sleep.

        “Great, I’m in a pony body, just perfect…” Lucifer was terribly sarcastic when he was annoyed. “That’s the last time I make that kind of bet with Discord.”

        Suddenly, Lucifer heard several hoof steps approach the pony body in which he resided. The hoof steps stopped as the pony he was in opened it’s eyes. Lucifer saw six pastel colored ponies that made him want to scream… or hurl. What was weird was how they were looking at the pony, until a the pony spoke, well giggled, really.

        “Did I just giggle?! What kind of body am I in!?” Lucifer asked incredulously as the ponies in the room gave an awed sigh to Flurry Heart’s giggle.

        “You! Purple one I command you to tell me what form I am in!” Lucifer yelled at Twilight only for her to have not noticed, much to Lucifer’s continuingly increasing ire.

        “Right, I forgot… I can only see through this pony’s eyes.” If Lucifer thought this was terrible now, he clearly didn't know that it was about to get worse.

Much worse.

Cadence picked up Flurry Heart and moved her to another larger crib. However, during the move Lucifer caught a good look at his new form in a nearby mirror. To imagine the sound of Lucifer’s screaming in Flurry Heart’s body, it would not be an exaggeration to compare the scream to that of a million small yapping dogs.

        “Oh no… I’m freaking adorable!!” Lucifer was now sharing a the body of Flurry Heart, Why this was the case was easy to guess.

        “Let’s see,” Lucifer paced in Flurry Heart’s mindscape. “I’m stuck in a baby pony body and can only go home when I learn the ‘power of friendship’...there are two things I just realized...one, never play poker with Discord again...two, I’m going to be in Equestria for a while…” Lucifer sighed as Cadence was changing her daughter's diaper.

*        *        *        *

        Within the realm of chaos, Discord’s home, the Spirit of Chaos himself had turned on his television to watch Lucifer’s continuously more entertaining panicking while eating some candy covered popcorn. It was immediately obvious that was the right choice as he’d soon found himself doing it again when he’d found Lucifer continuing struggle to understand the so called power of friendship.

        “So you put Lucifer inside Flurry Heart?” A voice spoke out to Discord from beyond the veil of time and space. This didn’t bother Discord as he knew ‘The Man Upstairs’ would find out about this little charade.

        “Yep… but don’t worry,” he promised. “Flurry Heart isn’t in any danger from him, the spell I put on Lucifer will only keep him in there until his learns friendship… the only side effect is the Flurry Heart is an alicorn thanks to his powers.” Discord waited for some monologue about being good but instead he got laughter.

        “Haha… that's hilarious!” The voice echoed threw Discord’s home.

        “Glad you think so Big Man...so you want to play some poker while we wait for Lucifer to get out?” Discord smiled sinisterly. He’d already come up with all form of means to achieve victory, cheating or no.

        “Unlike Lucifer, I know to never play cards with a Draconequus.” The voice faded as Discord shrugged his shoulders and continued to watch Flurry Heart giggling with her happy parents, while Lucifer was having a panic attack inside her mind.

Part 2: Lessons Learned

"Ah, that marks the end of kindergarten and the start of Pre-School...my how time flies." Lucifer sarcastically muttered to himself as he watched the pony he was sharing bodies with, Flurry Heart receive praise from her parents on finishing the first part of her education.

        Lucifer had been inside Flurry Heart’s mind for ten years since her birth. He had been there when she learned to walk, when she began talking, and when he used magic for the first time. Flurry Heart’s magic was powerful considering she was a born an Alicorn, and it seems she would only become more powerful with time. Being a super pony and a princess most other children avoided her so she never had friends in kindergarten, but she hoped to makes some in Pre-School.

        Flurry Heart was excited to start school tomorrow as she jumped around the castle with joy. She eagerly waited for the new friends she could make and the lessons to learn. Cadence told Flurry Heart to get ready for bed as she and her husband prepared her backpack for tomorrow. The little Filly trotted down the hall with a smile on her face.

        “Great...how long must I suffer this humiliation!” Lucifer barked.

        “Hello?” To Lucifer's surprise Flurry Heart heard that comment but didn't know where it came from.

        “Wait did you just hear me? After all this time?!”

        “Who’s there?” Flurry Heart turned around and around but didn’t see anyone.

        Lucifer began to think on this new situation, he believed her mind had developed enough to understand him.

        “Hello there Flurry Heart, my name is Lucifer.”

        “Oh hello!” Flurry Heart gave a happy charp.

        “Yes, now do you know that I’m in your mind?”

        “In my mind? are you my imagination? my imaginary friend?!”

        “Sure, Let go with that...I'm your imaginary friend, Lucifer.” The Devil didn't need her to know who he really was, heck if she did tell ponies a evil being was in her head they throw her in the crazy house. So it was better to play this by ear for awhile, at least Lucifer can talk to someone now, even if they are a ten year old pony.

        “Why can’t I see you?”

        “Well...I’m a very special  imaginary friend, one you can’t see but is always with you.”

        “Oh ok!” Flurry Heart trotted down the hallway to her room all the while talking to her first new friend. Lucifer had thought of using Flurry Heart as a temporary minion to aid him in escaping her mind and Equestria, however Lucifer remembered the part of the terms of the bet with Discord, the part where Lucifer had to give up his powers while inside Flurry Heart’s mind. This meant he couldn’t tempt or even control her at all.

.        .        .        .

        It was a lovely day in the Crystal Empire as Flurry Heart has escorted to Pre-School by her father, Shining Armor. Shining wished his daughter to have a great day and that her mother will pick her up later, the two hugged then when there separate ways.

        The Pre-School was bustling with fillies and coats who were ready to learn. Flurry and the other ponies rushed inside the school and took there sets. Flurry was excited to learn but noticed that ponies around her were very nervous around her. During lunch sat by herself thinking that something was wrong with her as no pony talked to her but the teachers.

        “I wish I could make some pony friends...is there something wrong with me?” Flurry thought to herself, forgetting about Lucifer still in her mind.

        “See Flurry Heart, there are two things the ponies here know about you...your powerful with magic and you're part of the royal family...there just worried they look like fools in front of you or get in trouble.” Lucifer said to the trouble filly.

        “So what should I do?”

        “You need to be confident and make the first move. Walk up to a group of ponies and ask if you can eat with them.”

        Flurry Heart listen to Lucifer and trotted to a group of ponies eating there lunch. They looked nervous at first but then lightened up as Flurry asked if she could hang out with them. They agreed and they not only ate together but over the day a few of them became friends.

        “Thank you Lucifer! I love you!”

        “Ah I appreciate you to fella.” Lucifer was not for the emotional stuff but mentally teared up at this affection.

        Overtime during her young life Flurry Heart had made many young friends with the help of Lucifer. For an evil being, Lucifer had very good advice on talking to ponies. Flurry Heart had never told anypony about Lucifer incase he disappears, She never knew about the reason Lucifer was there but he figured he tell her eventually.

.        .        .        .

        Forward into the future…

        Flurry Heart has grown into a fine young lady, with the patience and wisdom of her parents, and the confidence of the Devil. She now works as an ambassador and representative of the Crystal Empire. Her duty takes her to far off lands and many vibrant cities. All the while Lucifer had grown to enjoy the company of Flurry Heart, strange as it sounds.

        Today Flurry Heart is to receive an award from all the Princesses of Equestria for her grand work of diplomacy so she now finds herself in the amazing city of Canterlot.The young mare is staying in her guest room of the royal castle when she meets an unexpected visitor.

.        .        .        .

        Flurry Heart was working on her speech for the award ceremony, find herself a tad nervous about it. However any fear she had quickly vanished thanks to the thought that Lucifer would always be there, Suddenly she turned around to find Discord inside her room.

        “Discord?! What are you doing here?” Flurry was surprised but quickly regained her nerve.

        “Why hello there...I won’t bore you with the details but I’m here to talk to Lucifer.”

        “How do you know about Lucifer?” with a snap of his claw a unicorn, black as night with blond mane and tail appeared next to Discord. Flurry Heart was so confused until she felt alone in her mind for the first time in ages.

        “Lucifer?” the black unicorn looked upon Flurry Heart, each knowing that they no longer shared a body.

        “Flurry...I need to tell you something and I’m not sure how you will take the news.”

        “What is it Lucifer? What is going on?” She looked in his eyes as he looked back into hers.

        “Sorry to break up such a tender moment but you can’t tell her.” Discord stopped Lucifer before he could talk.

        “Why?” Lucifer asked.

        “She don't need to know the fine details...but I’ll summarize it for her....See princess, Lucifer was a bad pony, as in the worst of the worst. A long time ago He and I played a little game to here he lost. As part of the wager he had to live inside a pony until he learned the power of friendship.”

        Flurry thought on this but quickly believed that Lucifer was always good. He never lead her astray or taught her anything bad, he was her confidence and best friend.

        “Why are you here, Discord? Why is Lucifer not in my mind?”

        “Well, I was going to let him out earlier around your first day of school, Didn’t want him to mess you up and besides I got my fun from watching him freak out...Unfortunately I forgot about you ponies...my bad.”

        “Wow...thank god you're not in charge of the universe...might burst into flames with your management skills.” Lucifer muttered.

        “Anyway I’m here to take him back to his home.” Lucifer understand that he was needed back in Hell, but Flurry Heart started to tear up to both the devil and discord’s surprise. Lucifer walked to Flurry Heart and comfort her as Discord was now regretting cheating in that poker game with the devil.

        “What is wrong?”

        “I don’t want you to go…”

        “You heard Discord, I’m a bad...pony. I am needed elsewhere.”

        “But…”

        “I want you to know that you are my best pony friend.”

        “You are my friend Lucifer...Maybe even more then that to me…”

        “I am sorry but you must be strong, I knew one day I would leave you knowing that you came out as a wise and confident mare.”

        “I understand…” Flurry Heart kissed Lucifer on the lips and then both walked away as Discord teared up himself.

        Lucifer walked to Discord and asked im something in hushed whispers, to which he agreed. Lucifer then walked out the door Flurry Heart as the award ceremony began. During the ceremony Flurry Heart made her speech as Lucifer smiled at her, giving her a bit of hope. After the ceremony was concluded Flurry Heart and her other pony friends, her family, and the princesses talked and joined in the after party.

        Suddenly the upbeat music changed to a slower and softer melody, Flurry Heart looked over to see Lucifer on the dance floor to which she rushed to him. The two danced closely for hours as other ponies wondered who the black unicorn was, to the side was Discord who watched as the Devil himself and a Pure hearts Princess basket in each other for what time remained.

        After their dance, Lucifer and Flurry Heart walked to Discord in the garden area.

“Are you ready?” Discord asked.

“Yes…” with a snap of his claw Discord and Lucifer disappeared.

Flurry Heart looked at the ground and found a present box, she opened it to find a locket and a note.

To my best and true friend, Flurry Heart…

Love Lucifer.

        Flurry Heart out of the necklace and thought about Lucifer, in surprise she found out the necklace played a magic tune whenever she thought about him, a turn he played when she was a filly and needed comfort...she smiled and rejoined her friends and family in the after party.

.        .        .        .

        Lucifer finally made it back to Hell, in his humanoid form to find nothing changed or happened. He always hated time alter stuff as he apparently came back five minutes after he left. Suddenly Discord appeared…

        “Hey, sorry about that business with Flurry Heart.”

        “I’m not...you were right about friendship, never had a friend like her since my fall from Heaven.”

        “So about that locket you had me make for Flurry Heart, You had to pick THAT song for it to play?”

        “Yep..ain't I a bad boy.” Lucifer smiled as he snapped his fingers as the same song echoed in his black castle….Highway to Hell.

The End