The Surrogate

by deadpansnarker

Rating: teen
Tags: Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life, Sad, Drama, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Silver Spoon, Spoiled Rich, Pipsqueak
Length: 8476

Celebrating the day after being elected mayor of Ponyville, Diamond Tiara is slightly taken aback by a request a depressed Apple Bloom asks of her. A set in the future kinda fic.

Celebrating the day after being elected mayor of Ponyville, Diamond Tiara is slightly taken aback by a request a depressed Apple Bloom asks of her. A set in the future kinda fic.

Published 2016-02-02 22:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-14 16:10:29 UTC

A Proposal

It had been a long, hard fought campaign, but it was finally over. She'd won. Henceforth, Diamond Tiara's name would be prefaced by the honoured title of 'Mayor'.

She reckoned her new moniker fit her like a plush leather saddle. Being totally unbiased, of course.

She observed the empty headquarters that were once bustling with volunteers, all working to get her elected. Earth ponies canvassing the town, calling out her name on loudspeakers. Pegasi dropping propaganda from the skies, filled with half-truths and vague promises. Unicorns, using their magic to spell out her slogan in the sky...

Which was: In Equestria, I'm the best here. Catchy, no?

Her only rival, the reliably inept Snips, with his manager, the equally buffoonish Snails, had no chance against Tiara's nous, and her personal assistant Silver Spoon's commitment to the cause. Not to mention, their dual bottomless war chest, which guaranteed a little more nationwide coverage than a small advert in page twenty of the Foal Free Press.

Diamond never really believed that pledges of free manecuts for all, and the introduction of mollusc races on a Sunday would have helped the colts' cause, either. Those poor, poor boys.

Still, this wasn't a time to be worrying about the fate of the losers. She'd been chosen to do a job, and she didn't intend to let anypony down. She'd long harboured ambitions to grasp onto the reins of power in her birthplace, and take it to another level of excellence. With the aid of her natural talent for leadership, she knew she'd be a worthy successor to the retiring Mayor Mare.

Now, she had the chance to herald in a new era of prosperity and progress. Of course, she wouldn't be taking on the task alone. Silver Spoon, her loyal friend who'd stayed with her through every little setback and bump in the road, would be a dependable presence in her new role as deputy. And her father Filthy Rich, the multi-conglomerate businessman who'd built everything from the ground up, was always going to be on hand to offer sage advice. As for her mother...

Best not to think about her, for the moment. To take her mind off things, Tiara observed the remnants of the battle room where she'd spent so much of the last three months. The posters decorated with her name, now just sticky residue on the walls. The busy reception area, now bereft of the furniture where many a concerned constituent had been sat. The spot she was standing in now, which was the exact same place she'd stood as each result from every primary was read out...

As it became more and more clear she was going to win, she could recall getting ever more excited, to the point that poor old Silver Spoon was on the verge of being asphyxiated. All they'd worked towards together, all of their hopes and dreams were coming true. The party that night would go down in Ponyville legend as one of the biggest blow-outs ever, on an even more grandiose scale than the one held for her childhood friends, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, when they'd received their symbols of destiny...

And now, it was all over. Diamond was going to miss this small, drafty little nook where she'd started on her ascent to the top, and the many new friends she'd met while navigating the whole giddy political circus.

But this was no time for being sentimental. She could return here, if she ever needed a reminder of her humble beginnings. The real hard work began now. She wasn't going to get any of it done reminiscing about the recent past. She was due to be sworn in in less than an hour...

Tiara was just about to make her way out of the barren chamber, when she heard the door creak. Thinking it was nothing more than the wind blowing, she paid it no mind, until a telltale country accent was heard above the silence. "Well hello there, Mayor Diamond...!"

The new elected official recoiled in shock on hearing that voice, which she recognised immediately. She spun around to face her greeter. The yellow fur. The unruly red mane. That cutie mark with the giant red heart in a shield. It could only be Apple Bloom.

As glad to see her friend as she was surprised she'd made the effort to travel down to such an out-of-the-way location, Tiara ran over there and embraced the farm mare in the tightest of hugs, one to even rival the headlock she'd put Silver Spoon in during the night of her victory. "Apple Bloom! What are you doing here?"

"Ow! Easy on the neck, I have to pull a plough with those muscles later..." The farm mare remarked, while simultaneously laughing at her friend's uncharacteristic display of affection. "I just wanted to say congratulations on your win, and Silver told me where you were. This room sure looks different from the last time I visited.."

"Yes you're right, it does..." Tiara sighed, releasing her iron grip. " I'm kinda sad all the campaigning is over, and I wanted one last look at the place before I took on my new position for real. It's going to feel strange, not having to get up at the crack of dawn to hold public meetings, shake hooves, kiss foals..."

As she stated those last two words, the new mayor could have sworn she detected a hint of blush coming from Apple Bloom, but she dismissed it as part of her ebullient imagination. "So anyway, how's your family, and good old Sweet Apple Acres doing?" She asked.

On hearing this, the farm mare's temporary flush seemed to disappear, and a warm smile decorated her features. "Great, thanks! I'm working harder every day, learning my responsibilities for when I take over from Applejack in the future, and her and Big Mac say they're as proud as apple punch about my progress!"

Diamond nodded on hearing this, as if she didn't doubt it for one minute. "So they should be. I saw you there when I visited a week ago, taking on three jobs at once. Who'd have thought that one day, the little Apple Bloom I used to tease would be capable of bucking apples, collecting fruit and separating the bruised ones from the nice ones, all by herself? I'm sure the farm will continue to flourish in the community under you. Granny Smith would have agreed, too..."

Tiara bowed her head in respect on saying this, and Apple Bloom soon followed suit. The new mayor had just given her the most highest of compliments. Such was the respect the old matriarch generated, that when she'd died just over a month ago, Diamond had insisted that all campaigning be suspended, so she could attend the funeral and offer her condolences.

It had been a far cry from her fillyhood, where she'd dismissed the old pony as a 'kooky old lady', a hurtful remark that would haunt her forever. At least she'd had chance to make amends, before Granny Smith's soul had departed.

Returning to the present, Tiara spoke again. "How are things between you and Pipsqueak? Haven't you two been dating now for a few years? I've seen you both around town quite a lot, and you can't seem to keep your hooves off of each other! Can I assume wedding bells will soon be in the air?" She offered her friend a little wink, which soon bought the redness back to Apple Bloom's cheeks.

"W-what? W-well we've discussed it, but we haven't made any concrete plans. A-and you're right, things are really good between us at the moment, but we have a bit of a problem. Q-quite a large one, actually. I-in fact, that's part of the reason I came down here to see you today..." Apple Bloom obviously had something to ask, but she didn't know how to broach the subject.

"You know Sweetie Belle gave birth to a foal a few months back, yes?" The farm mare continued. "Her and Button Mash called her Rare Jewel, the cutest thing you'd ever meet. And you must have heard that Scootaloo is pregnant with Rumble's child, right? I'm so happy for her..."

"Yes, of course I have. I visited Sweetie Belle in hospital, and Scoots told me the good news a while back..." Diamond wondered where Apple Bloom was going with this.

"Well, you may not know this, but me and Pip have been trying for a young 'un even longer than both of them..." The farm mare contended. "More than a year, actually. That's why we were a little confused when first Sweetie, and then Scoots got there ahead of us, and we decided to seek professional help. We booked an appointment with Doctor Stable, and he gave both of us a thorough examination. When we got the results back, there was nothing wrong with Pip at all, he could father ten families if he wanted to! But, as for m-me..."

Tiara had a horrible feeling where this was heading, and her heart began to break for her dear friend in front of her. She didn't say anything though, and just clasped onto the hooves of Apple Bloom until she was ready to tell her in her own time...

Finally, with an audible sob, the farm mare made the tragic announcement. "T-they said I was infertile, Di! I'm deficient! Useless! A blot on the good Apple name...! How am I supposed to even call myself a mare, if I can't even have a foal?" Tears were now freely streaming down her face, and as Diamond looked closer into her green eyes, she saw traces of scarlet rings she hadn't seen before.

"Oh, Apple Bloom, I'm so sorry!" Tiara held onto her friend tightly, and began to tear up a bit herself. "Nopony knows more than I do what a good mother you'd have made, I mean look at all you've taught me! But don't ever devalue yourself as a pony, just because of this tragedy. You are one of the kindest, nicest, most humble ponies I know, and as far as I've concerned, your loss is as good as Equestria's loss."

Apple Bloom began to wipe her tears away, comforted by the words of the new mayor. "T-thanks Diamond. "

Tiara smiled sympathetically at the plight of her friend, before an idea sprung into her head. "I've just had a thought. When I was touring the town during the build-up to the election, I happened to stumble across a charming little orphanage. It was full-to-bursting with all manner of colts and fillies who had no parents of their own, looking for a better life. Perhaps, you and Pip could discuss..."

Diamond was abruptly cut off by Apple Bloom, who shook her head firmly. "No, no. We've already talked about that, and while we feel very sorry for everything those poor orphans have gone through, and we wish them all the best, we came to the conclusion we want our foal to be conceived naturally, with at least some of it being a part of us. In fact, that's kinda what I wanted to ask you now, today..."

Tiara looked at Apple Bloom in confusion. What was she getting at? All the pieces in her head began to fit together, until, the realisation hit.

"N-no, you can't mean..." The new mayor almost buckled over in shock.

Apple Bloom hesitantly nodded, confirming Tiara's worst fears. "Yes, I do. Di, I know this is a really big, life-changing favour I'm asking of you, but please, won't you at least think about it? I'd only ask this of somepony I really trust, and seeing as how Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo have now got families of their own, you're the only one I can turn to. And to be honest, I would love my child to be as healthy as you are, and have some of your qualities in leadership. The procedure is really simple, you'd still be able to carry out your mayoral duties during the process, Pip is all for it..."

While the farm mare was reciting the list of reasons as to why Diamond should be the bearer of her foal in her obviously long-rehearsed speech, the new mayor was left reeling.

How dare Apple Bloom put her on the spot like this, a mere day since her glorious triumph. How dare she expect her to walk around with a visible bulge for months, ruining her perfect figure. How dare she expect her to go through the rigours of pregnancy, when Tiara had made a conscious decision not to put herself through that arduous ordeal herself.

And, yet...

She owed the farm mare so much. In fact, Diamond might not have even have been elevated to her current esteemed position, if it hadn't been for Apple Bloom's crucial intervention at a bleak period in Tiara's life. Plus, she also knew that her friend wouldn't have come to her unless it was something she really, really wanted badly, and the new mayor was touched at the level of trust that had been shown to her in doing so. What to do, what to do...?

"So, will you do it then?"

Tiara snapped out of her private thoughts, to stare numbly at the hopeful, pleading face in front of her.

"Will you be our surrogate?"

Author's Note

I've had this idea for a new fic that I got from somewhere nagging in the back of my head since last night. It continued to annoy me, until I decided to exorcise it here and now. Hope you like this first chapter... It'll be a while before I update it, because I'm busy with A Mother's 'Love'. But, upvote and favourite if you do, and I'll get back to it eventually. Ciao! :pinkiehappy:

Silver Spoon

"You just can't do it! It's completely out of the question! What was she thinking of, asking you a question like that completely out of the blue, the day after our landslide win? That mare has some nerve..." Silver Spoon had not given Diamond Tiara a moment's peace since discovering Apple Bloom's proposal to the new mayor of Ponyville.

Watching her best friend pace up and down like one of Celestia's guards, Tiara desperately tried to get a word in edgeways, but it was proving somewhat difficult. "B-but I only said I'd think about it..." Diamond mumbled. "I-It was the least I could do for her, surely? I-If it wasn't for her...

"...You wouldn't be where you are today, right?" Silver stopped her endless procession, and proceeded to grab onto both of her friend's forehooves. "Di, you know I have the highest regard for Apple Bloom, right?. All the work she does at the farm. The way she coped with her Granny's death. Her contribution to changing you for the better when we were still fillies. But, that was then..."

Silver gestured to her surroundings, the luxurious office they were both talking in now. This was Diamond's new base of operations, where she could study the happenings around town in minute detail, plan for the next years budget and, most riveting of all, complete heaps and heaps of paperwork.

"... And this is now." Spoon finished off her sentence, before taking a deep breath, and resuming her tirade. "Who came up with the idea of those smear posters against Snips & Snails 'Yes they are as slow as they look'? Me! Who pushed you all around town to deliver your speeches on that dirty old soapbox with wheels? Me! And, who's been your best friend for years, never let you down, is now advising you that this is a terrible idea, and will only lead to complications and heartbreak later? Guess who!"

Diamond listened to each word intently, and realised her new deputy was making complete sense. Why would she want to carry out her numerous mayoral duties resembling one of Pinkie Pie's balloons? Why would she want to go through the ordeal of childbirth, which she'd been told was so agonising it was like having your guts torn out? And what would happen if she somehow desired to keep the foal? It may seem like a stupid question, but she'd heard that carrying round a growing living being for nine months inside your tummy can do strange things to your maternal drive...

And yet, and yet... Despite all of Silver Spoon's good reasoning, there was a solid counter-argument to all of her claims. Namely, her underestimation of just how much Apple Bloom had done for Diamond that fateful day so long ago now, as the young pink filly trod through the town lost, forlorn and alone. If the farm dweller and her two friends hadn't taken pity on her, encouraged her to find out what her cutie mark truly stood for, helped her to stand up to her tyrannical mother and, in the process become a much more likable pony, would she be worthy of growing up to be custodian of this rustic but charming little town?

The answer, of course, was 'no'.

" I-I need some time to myself, I think..." Tiara pondered her options. "T-this is such a big decision. I-I want to figure out exactly what effect it would have on my time in office, the changes my body will undergo, if there are any side-effects to the procedure..."

Spoon put her hoof to her temple and sighed. "I can't believe you're still giving this serious thought. Didn't you hear anything I just said? You have a town to run now, you can't waste your brain and belly on helping out an old friend, just because you feel indebted to them! It's only been a few hours since you've been sworn in, and here you are, making plans to get pregnant! Unbelievable! Wait until the papers get a hold of this story. Talk about a scandal..."

At this point, Tiara suddenly snapped out of her private thoughts, and spun around on her swively chair to face her critic. "Well, perhaps it's what I deserve, for turning the whole town against the Crusaders while I was the editor of that trashy school tribune. Besides, who cares what the paparazzi think?! Whatever I decide to do, it'll be my own choice, not because of the fear of getting bad headlines, not because of a bit of personal inconvenience, and certainly not because my best friend can't see how important this is to Apple Bloom, Pip and to some extent, me. Even if I don't go through with it, I'm going to try my hardest to make their dream come true. Whether it be through extensive fertility treatment for Bloom, or locating another surrogate she could trust as much as me..."

"Oh no...!" Spoon slowly backed away, and threw up her hooves in protest. "You can rule me out right now. I plan to do what you should be doing, making Ponyville a better place to live in, and studying hard to achieve that end. If you're lending this ridiculous notion any serious thought, you're by yourself, I'm afraid."

"Silver, I wasn't..." Diamond sighed in annoyance. "Never mind. Look, just realise this: It's not a decision I'm going to take lightly at all. I'll flip through the brochures, study all the diagrams and even visit the hospital to talk to all the requisite ponies involved in this thing I might be doing. Then, and only then, will I be in a proper and qualified position to make my final choice. You do trust me enough, Silv, to know that it's not an activity I'm just going to rush into, don't you?"

Spoon's bottom lip began to quiver as the mayor gave her impassioned plea, and right there Tiara knew she had her. "Look, I still think you're as crazy as Screwball going nuts in Pinkie's joke shop, but if it really means that much to you, I'll respect whatever choice you make in the end. After all, besties for life, right?"

"Yeah. Besties for life." Diamond afforded her deputy a warm smile.

"Well, if you mean it, prove it." Silver gave off a mischievous grin, as she got into the right spot.

"Huh, what are you..." Tiara was momentarily confused, but soon cottoned onto what the grey mare wanted. "Oh no, you can't mean..."

"You bet your sweet little coiffured mane I do!" Spoon left her friend in no doubt about what she wanted. "Now, come and stand over here. I'll even let you say the opening line!."

Reluctantly, and desperately hoping there were no hidden cameras in the building, Diamond made her way over to the opposite side of her eager deputy. This is so dumb she thought to herself. Even the Princesses Twilight and Cadence gave up that silly little chant they used to do ages ago...

"Are you ready?" Silver interrupted the mayor's procrastination.

"Yes, yes..." Diamond sighed in defeat.

"Okay then, you start off. I'm waiting..." Spoon almost sung the last word.

"Here goes nothing..." Tiara murmured. She couldn't believe she'd been talked into this. Great leaders shouldn't be acting this way. It had been so many years in fact, she wasn't even sure she remembered...

BUMP! BUMP! SUGAR LUMP! RUMP!

And there it was. Each word perfectly in time. Every move in total synchronicity. Even the flank slap was flawless.

It was like they'd been performing the same routine, every day, for the whole of their lives. Could this be... The powerful, and yet unseen psychic bond true BFFs have, forever?

Who knows? What happened afterwards, is after a good two minutes of both of the newly elected officials staring at each other in amazement, they fell into spontaneous laughter.

Glorious, uproarious, unrehearsed laughter.

Oh, how wonderful it felt, after the heated discussion the duo had been party to, to simultaneously release all their tension, all their nerves, all their cares to the wind, and simply act like fillies again.

Adulthood can be so overrated.

Alas, one aspect of childhood certainly wasn't missed, and she was about to make a 'surprise' entrance into the office, balloons in one hoof, a small crown in the other. At her arrival, both mayor and deputy stopped their mindless hysteria immediately, and picked themselves up off the floor. Diamond clambered back onto the chair, while Silver straightened her glasses, before standing loyally by her side.

"Oh hello, darling! Mummy's here! I just thought I'd see how my precious jewel is doing in her new role! I noticed you're really enjoying your win, but try not to laugh too hard, dear. It brings out the wrinkles. Now, I know your father told me since the break-up I had to call you first before I saw you, but I just couldn't help myself! I got these for you on the way over here... Diamond shaped, of course! Don't let them float away, they're full of a special gas, and you'll never see them again! And look at what else I've bought! Your old tiara! Why you stopped wearing it, before you moved out I'll never know, but here it is again, large as life, ready for it's new home! Whereabouts on your desk should I put it? Quickly now, tell me... We have lots of other important things to discuss."

Author's Note

Taking a little break from my increasingly manic 'A Mother's Love', I thought I'd chillax by adding some more meat to the bones of my ancillary project e.g this. Hope you liked. Third part arriving... Soon, if not sooner...

An Unwelcome Visitor

"Well, the room could be a bit larger... and it's a good job you have a team of cheap imported cleaners now, because there's more dust in here than Randolph's old closet... but I suppose it's not about where you work, the point of you becoming mayor is getting things done... And believe me dear, if anypony is an expert at that, it's your dear old Mama... Just look at everything I 'convinced' your father to do over the years..."

Spoiled Rich had wasted no time at all in making herself at home in her daughter's new office, as she grabbed the seat adjacent to Diamond's and conversed with the newly elected official as though she owned the place. Tiara did her best to pretend she was busy with paperwork, hoping against hope that the bossy older mare would take the hint and leave sooner rather than later.

Sadly, either Spoiled's notorious weakness for recognising subtle social cues reared its ugly head again, or she just didn't care. She'd obviously shown up that day for a specific reason, and wasn't about to depart until she'd attained what she'd come looking for. Diamond wished her mother would just get to the point and tell her what she so desired, instead of interrupting a frenetic new work schedule the mayor had found herself festooned with.

But, no... she always had to precede her demands with a large amount of supercilious chatter, mostly revolving around what was trendsetting, who was hot in the local social scene and how unappreciated she was in the community at large. You might even say she could talk the hind legs off a donkey, but one had never volunteered to test that interesting theory. Probably just as well, according to reports the local hospital was overrun enough as it was. Just another problem for the new mayor to tackle, just as soon as the old gasbag blithering on in front of her was evicted from the premises.

As for Silver Spoon, she'd kindly vacated her new chair in the room to accommodate Spoiled, and could only listen in bemused fascination at the older mare's endless prattle. It was amazing that anypony could natter on for so long but say so little of interest, almost as if she was blithe to her own tedium. Self-denial can be a very strong thing she realised, thanking her lucky stars that her own mother was much more grounded in reality, and about to celebrate her thirtieth anniversary with the stallion she loved. No mean feat, these days.

"So anyway, as I was saying..." Spoiled continued to bleat on unabashed, nose firmly held in the air. "My previous experience as head of the school board will be such a coup in your upcoming administration, darling. I know ponies in very high places you see, and we can get things running quicker than you know! Why you never accepted my kind offer to run alongside you in office as part of a 'Dream Ticket' familial nomination I don't know, but at least you have the opportunity to correct your grievous error now..."

"Erm, hello... Me and Silver did actually win, you know." Diamond had finally had enough of her mother's mindless prattle, and threw her quill down to proffer up a few home truths for consumption. "And my deputy is in this room, too. You haven't even acknowledged her yet. Her cutie mark talent isn't camouflage..."

"Now now dear, there's no need to be rude..." Spoiled finally gave Silver a split-second glance, before she returned to extolling her own self-worth. "I'm just pointing out that if my name was with yours on those pamphlets and badges, we would've won by an even bigger margin. Mother and daughter, working for the betterment of myse... I mean, Ponyville. Still, you can't change the past, I suppose. What's done is done, as they say."

"Why exactly did you come down here again, today?" Diamond sighed in exasperation, her head beginning to sink into her hooves. She didn't want her mother to know she was getting to her, but frankly the younger pony was at the end of her tether... figuratively speaking.

"What reason do I ever need to see my darling daughter?" Spoiled said in an unconvincing display of endearment, as she leaned over to rub the new mayor's mane. "I just thought I'd show up to surprise you, wish you luck in your new role, maybe offer to 'help out' any way I could..."

"Oh, you mean like you 'helped out' father for all those years?!" Diamond suddenly felt herself vault up against her own volition, eyes narrowed as the bad memories came flooding back. " 'Helped him' when you told him what to wear and what to say... 'helped him' decide what to spend all his hard-earned money on... 'helped him' by saying when he could breathe..."

"Alright darling, please try not to be so snippy..." Spoiled began to show signs of annoyance for the first time, while a quietly observing Silver Spoon did her best to stifle a laugh. "It's not my fault if you or Filthy never took my advice. Why he kicked me out and married that mediocre fashionista is beyond me. Oh well, there's no accounting for taste, I suppose..."

" Now you're just being bitter, mother. You know perfectly well that Rarity and her two boutiques contribute massively to the local economy each year." Diamond's amazement at Spoiled's ability to redefine the truth never ceased to amaze her. "Also, the day my father got fed up of your selfish ways and showed you the door was the best decision he ever made, both for his financial prospects and his all-round health..."

"I'll forgive you for that last remark, since you were too young to know the true circumstances..." Now Spoiled really was getting a little hot under the collar, and her next few words were spoken through gritted teeth. "We simply reached a mutual understanding that we no longer wanted the same things from our relationship, so we arrived at an amicable decision that it would be best if we were apart. Dear, you have no idea of the tears I've shed since our fateful separation..."

"Yeah, all those bits you no longer have a monopoly on in his wallet must really miss you, too..." Diamond remarked sarcastically, feeling perhaps that her mother resided in an alternate dimension to the one she perceived. "As for that 'amicable' separation, who was it that fought hoof and muzzle for property and valuables that she had no redress to? You do realise you would have lost the case, and the only reason you got half of father's wealth in the end was because he was fed up of dragging the family name through the mire. He just wanted the whole thing to be over with, so he could move on. Perhaps you should do the same, instead of complaining about him to anypony who'll listen."

"I-I don't have time for this..." Spoiled had finally had enough of defending her indefensible actions, or maybe she'd just run out of excuses. "It's water under the bridge anyway, now. I've got a new promising advertisement in the local paper that a young, virile mare is looking for a handsome stallion to bathe her in glory during her prime years, and so far I've had quite a few promising applicants..."

"Oh, really?" Diamond couldn't help but find this prospect somewhat amusing. "What happens afterwards... do they quit first as soon as you open your mouth, or do you bail on them when their chequebook doesn't pass muster?"

"I'm being serious, dear!" Spoiled was on the verge of losing her temper, and slammed her hooves on the desk. "This could be a great new beginning for me... oh wait a minute, I forgot who I'm telling this to. You haven't had a stallion of your own since your education ran it's course, have you darling? That First Base colt was your last big conquest, by my reckoning. I hear he's a big hoofball star now. You really 'struck out' with him, didn't you? Hee Hee..."

"He wanted to play sports, I was studying for my politics degree..." Diamond recanted the story without much enthusiasm, completely aware that her mother knew all this already. "It wouldn't have worked out. Not that my 'love life' is any of your concern."

"Well, perhaps it should be, considering your never-ending failures in that department..." Spoiled finally felt like she'd discovered a sore spot on Diamond's rock-hard exterior, and she dug in with relish. "You know, working mares never get good dates. Too much manual labour leads to horribly chapped hooves, and lots of studying creates the most awful lines on one's brow. Much better to have a stallion of means take good care of that sort of thing, so you can spend time doing more important stuff... like trips to the spa, or making oneself look beautiful. Of course, there could be other reasons why you'd both be single, besides a demanding job..."

Both Silver and Diamond didn't like the sly wink they got at this juncture. "W-Whatever are you talking about?" Tiara flustered, hoping against hope that her mother wasn't implying what...

"You mean you haven't heard the rumours circulating about you two? Tsk, tsk darling... it's all the talk of the salon." Spoiled laughed arrogantly, while tossing her mane in the air. "I myself am an open-minded mare, but there might be some of ill intent who may try and use this information as part of a concentrated drive to get you out of office early, whether it's true or not. Of course, if you helped me out today, I may be able to make such idle chatter go away. Though, I'd still be disappointed not to have any foals in the future, if you did decide to pursue such an abnormal route to happiness. After all, you can't argue with biology, and adoption is nature's way of telling us we're unwanted..."

After everything Diamond had seen her ruthless mother say and do over the years, she thought nothing could shock her any more regarding her despotic behaviour... she was dead wrong. Stunned as she was by the older mare's barely transparent attempt at blackmailing her own daughter, it was left to Silver Spoon to speak for the first time, and express outrage for both of them.

"How dare you!" The greyish pony leapt up to confront the smug older mare, in a loud response that was more of a growl. "Me and Diamond are the closest of work colleagues, nothing more!! And even if we weren't, that you would put your own self-interest above the career of your own daughter is so disgusting I can't even fathom it! You should be ashamed of yourself, but I think as we've all discovered by now, that isn't an emotion you're capable of. I'd love to see the look on your face, if Diamond does decide to go through with this whole 'surrogate parent' thing... oops."

Silver quickly held her hooves in front of her mouth, but it was already too late. In her uncensored ire, she'd dramatically revealed Diamond's possible future plans to the pony she'd have least like to know about them, and now Spoiled finally gave Silver her full attention, leaving Tiara to hoofpalm herself to oblivion by her desk.

"She might be deciding to do... what?!" Silver suddenly found herself being shaken against the wall by a crazy-sounding Spoiled, who by the looks on her deranged face, might just start foaming at the mouth any second.

"N-Not my place... t-to tell you...s-slip of the tongue... v-very sorry... help!" Those were just a few of the nonsensical ramblings that left Silver's mouth, as her stomach heaved and her eyes rolled in her sockets.

"... It's true." Diamond had finally regained her composure, and summed up in two words the situation as it was. "Now, could you please stop trying to make my deputy throw up, and come to sit down so we can discuss this like rational ponies?"

Wordlessly, Spoiled abruptly halted choking Silver half to death, and plomped herself firmly in the seat, with a sour expression that basically spelled out: 'I'm waiting for an explanation'.

"Apple Bloom came by the other day, with the sad news she's been declared medically infertile..." Diamond tried to block out her mother's possibly apoplectic reaction to all this, and just concentrate on the story. "Her and Pipsqueak have been trying for a foal for years, only to just find that she's incapable of getting pregnant. So, she came to me to ask if I could be her surrogate, a proposal that I was honoured to..."

"And you told the little hayseed to 'get lost', I assume?" Spoiled interrupted, callously.

"U-Uh.. no." Diamond was almost lost for words at this stage. "I-I said I'd think about it..."

"What's there to 'think' about, dear?" Spoiled's voice sounded measured, but all the more dangerous because of it. "My daughter conspiring with our most hated family to add to the long line of useless mud ponies, with a spotted transient from Trottingham, no less! It's almost enough for me to run my own test, to see if you're my real daughter, or not. First, you openly defy me as a child, then as a teenager you choose to stay with your milksop of a father than live with me, and now you're on the precipice of something vaguely worthwhile, you choose to trade it all in to become a carrier for that... thing."

Diamond's emotions at this time were a strange mix between sheer anger and incredulity, in any case all she could manage in response was a strangled... "What?"

"Do you really want to go around looking like a blimp in all your official photos for the next few months? Oh, the shame of it all..." Spoiled rubbed the top of her head in pure anguish, as if she were the injured party. "And just think of the scandal, when word gets out you're procreating for the sake of a common farmer! The press will be camped outside my front door for weeks on end... I'll never be able to restore my former glories... Oh my darling, I love you so much, but why must you vex me so..."

Diamond continued to be rendered speechless in shock at her mother's cruel words, but she wasn't quite finished yet.

"I'll tell you what's going to happen next..." Spoiled said sternly, as she tried to take control of matters. "First of all, you're going to say a very firm 'no' to that Apple girl, and then tell her you never want to see her again. The less of her kind there are around, the better. Then, you'll fire that useless intern masquerading as a deputy you have over there, and hire me instead. I have much more knowledge of how to run public office than her, and I actually know when to keep my mouth shut when I'm supposed to. Then..."

"Get out, mother." The words were faint, but the meaning was clear.

"W-What?" Spoiled blinked twice, before giggling slightly. She clearly thought she'd misheard.

"I said... Get out!!" Well, there was no mistaking that.

"W-Why?!" Spoiled clearly had no clue why she was being asked to do such a thing, leaving it up to her daughter to describe exactly the reason.

"Well, let's see... You're a selfish tyrant who doesn't care about anypony other than yourself, you've never loved me or my father apart from what we can do for you, you treat all my friends like mule dung so they don't want to be seen with you, and oh yes... you talk way too much. But, I have the feeling we've heard the last from you today, because..."

Everypony in the room held their breath...

"I am going to be a surrogate. Thank you for helping me decide, with your unconscionable rant back there. If ever I need to make a decision, I just think of how you'd act and do the opposite. That philosophy hasn't steered me wrong for years, and I don't think it's about to now, either. Anyway, I think it's about time you left. Wouldn't want that queue of Lonely Hearts bachelors breaking down your front door wondering where you got to now, do we? Miss Peach Fuzz, please come in and see our 'guest' outside. Also, bring security... I have the feeling she's going to be quite rambunctious. I'll keep the tiara-shaped balloons, though. They're quite nice. Thank you so much for the 'visit', Spoiled. Say hello to the ground for me."

As Spoiled Rich was unceremoniously bundled out of the office, uttering more than a few most unladylike profanities along the way, Diamond wandered over to a still slightly croaky Silver to help her up.

"You okay, Silv?"

"Y-yeah, just a little short of breath, that's all, Di. L-Listen, I'm very sorry about..."

"You don't have to apologize for anything, Silv. It was a complete accident, and she would've found out sooner or later. That mare has a real nose for gossip, pun intended."

"B-But is what you said right, Di? A-Are you really going ahead with it, just to spite her?"

"Nah. I probably would have done it anyway, since I owe Apple Bloom so much, and apart from you Silv, she's my best friend. I must confess though, part of me did love seeing mother blow a fuse like that."

"You shouldn't listen to Spoiled, Di. She doesn't know what she's talking about..."

"As if I didn't know that already, Silv. Still, there is one thing she said which I'm not sure isn't totally false..."

"What would that be, Di?"

"Where she said you had rather loose lips, Silv. Remember when you announced to the entire playground on election day when we were kids that I was having a statue in my likeness commissioned? You know, to replace the entire playground apparatus? How on Equestria would that ever have won me more votes?"

"...Di, I've already apologised for that like a zillion times already. Can't you just forget about it, already?"

"Of course, Silv... under two conditions."

"Name them, Di."

"First, you be the best darn deputy Ponyville has ever seen. I expect you to work your hooves to the bone, listen to all your constituent's complaints and bring me regular hot cups of coffee. Do you think you're up to the task, Silv?"

"Well... I'll do my best, Di, but it better not be as hard as it sounds. What's the second one?"

"That you're with me throughout every stage of my upcoming pregnancy... you'll cover for me when I'm ill, make excuses for me when I have to make hospital appointments, and hold my hoof while I'm giving birth. Can you think you can do that for me, Silv?"

"That all sounds good, Di, except for that last one. What happens if I faint in the theatre?"

"Silv... that's the father's job. You don't want to be the father... do you?"

"Y-ye... I mean no, of course not. Whatever gave you that idea?!" Heh heh...

Author's Note

Rumours of this fic's demise have been greatly exaggerated. I'll be updating more of my older stories soon enough... please stay tuned. :)

Off To Sweet Apple Acres

"...And that's why, after much careful consideration, I've decided to accept your offer to be a surrogate." On the surface Diamond seemed absolutely sure of her decision, but the Breezies fluttering around her stomach would tend to disagree.

"R-Really?" Apple Bloom quickly deposited the china teacup she held down on the table, as her jittery hooves put it in serious danger of being shattered. "I-I mean, I know I asked you an' all, and my request was genuine. B-But I never expected you to say..."

"I won't lie, it hasn't been an easy decision at all. It'll certainly affect my future career as mayor, as well as cause a lot of tension in my personal life." Diamond frowned to herself, thinking how true that statement was after events the previous day. "If it was anypony else, I'd probably decline. But I know how much this means to you and Pipsqueak, and after everything you've done for me after our, uh, 'shaky' start together in school, I figured this is a perfect way to show you my gratitude. Plus, I'm sure you agree, after the procedure is over it'll make us even."

Diamond had meant the last part of her sentence there as a joke, but Apple Bloom was obviously too dense or overcome with emotion to pick up on it. "Y-Yes! O-Of c-course!! I'll never ask yer for anythin' else ever again! Thank yer! Thank yer so much! Wait til' Pip hears the good news! He's always complainin' about working hard on the farm, but I told him: if we're gonna get hitched someday, yer have to learn to graft like an Apple! Wait there a sec, while I go and get him. Patches darlin', could you come here for a sec? I have some good news for yer, or rather, us."

Diamond observed without comment Apple Bloom yell loudly out of the window of her lounge, where both mares were currently situated. The new mayor's keen ears picked up what sounded like a mild profanity in the far distance, but by the time the alleged culprit had made his way into the farmhouse, all signs of potential grumpiness had miraculously been dispelled from his sunny demeanour.

"What is it, my little Apple Dumpling? I told you, I'll make a start on collecting the bucked fruit from under the trees as soon as I've finished mucking out the... o-oh, hello there, Diamond. I-I didn't realise the mayor was paying us a visit. Congratulations on your landslide victory, by the way. S-sorry you had to hear that, it's just a term of endearment I use sometimes..." Pipsqueak, otherwise known as 'Patches', seemed somewhat embarrassed at displaying his more tender side so publicly.

"That's totally fine Pip, you ought to hear some of the pet names Daddy used to invent for me! I dare say, if Snips and Snails had been aware of them, they might just have stood a chance in the election! Is it possible to cringe your opponent into conceding, I wonder?" Diamond chuckled good-naturedly at the thought, before returning to business. "Anyway, I think your marefriend has something she wants to tell you. Perhaps you better sit down for this..."

"She agreed! I can't believe it! I'm gonna be a Mummy!!" Diamond had apparently forgotten that Apple Bloom was not one for keeping a tight lip, as the farm pony blurted out the information at the earliest opportunity. " I'm so happy! I'm so overjoyed! I... wait, did yer forget to wipe yer hooves before comin' in again?!"

"E-Erm, well..." Pipsqueak blushed slightly as all three ponies glanced down to where the diminutive stallion had left a nice trail of small hoof prints from the front door. "It's only dirt from the pig sty, that's all! It'll only take me a jiffy to clean it up! In the meantime, what was that you just said about..."

"Honestly Pip, yer as bad at trackin' in mud as Winona was after her 'walkies'!" Apple Bloom took a moment to acknowledge the faithful canine who, in her own special way, was missed almost as much as Granny Smith. "What's Applejack gonna say when she comes home later, and discovers pig mess all over her floor?! She'll blow a gasket, that's what! I took the fall for the time yer overfed the chickens, and almost 'milked' a bull instead of a cow. But now, yer on yer own. Hope you don't mind explainin' the situation later..."

"Y-Yes, yes, whatever you say, dear." A frantic Pipsqueak seemed desperate to confirm if he'd heard correctly as he came in. "Now, about what I think you told me when I entered. Something about 'being a Mummy'?"

"Huh? Oh, that's right! How could I forget the great news so fast!" Apple Bloom slapped her head with annoyance, before she affectionately grabbed an unsuspecting Diamond nearby. "Meet our new surrogate! And yer thought she'd turn us down! Didn't I say 'yer never know, 'til yer ask'? Well, I did, and she said yes! How d'ya like them apples... what the... what in tarnation do yer think yer doin', Pipsqueak?!"

'Turning the place into a shambles' apparently, for as soon as Apple Bloom had finished her big announcement, a massive change came over the usually mild-mannered spotted stallion. First he became as bug-eyed as any Changeling, then a gawkish, goofy grin decorated his face.... and that was even before the dancing began.

Furniture and flecks of mud were sent flying everywhere as the ecstatic Pip performed his impromptu unrehearsed routine, to the self-penned lyrics of "I'm gonna be a Daddy! A father! A papa! YAHOO!!" in a rapturous display that made Apple Bloom's earlier celebrations seem sedate by comparison.

The farm pony and Diamond looked at each other nonplussed for a moment, before the former apologetically stuttered. "E-Er, I don't quite know what to say. I've never seen him act like this before, even on Nightmare Night, his favourite day of the year. But knockin' on doors and pretendin' to be a jolly pirate is one thing, tearin' the place apart and tossin' dirt everywhere is another. I'm sure once he's settled down a bit we can discuss this like sensible ponies, and tidyin' up 'round here by himself after the show is over should see to that. Why don't yer..."

"Say no more, Apple Bloom. I'll pop back later, when hopefully the two of you will have had more time to digest everything. When I return, we have to decide how we're going to go about doing this, and so forth. In the meantime, I have a couple more ponies to tell next."

"Who, Di? Silver Spoon? Your mothe... I mean, Spoiled Rich?"

"Nice save there, Apple Bloom. And in answer to your question, no. In fact, those are the only other ones who know about my plans so far. Until the papers get hold of the story of course, which if I know Spoiled as well as I do, should be very quickly indeed."

"I-I'm kinda guessin' she found out by 'accident' then, that nosy little... still, I'm sure Silv was much more supportive! Who are yer tellin' next, then?"

"Right on both counts, Apple Bloom. And in answer to your question, I think Daddy deserves to find out his daughter is about to be carrying another mare's foal, don't you? And of course Rarity has to hear about it too, considering how close we've been getting these days. Wish me luck then... I'm going in."

Author's Note

After nearly two years of no updates, I thought I'd randomly update this story. Why? Who knows? I enjoy writing it, for one.

But if you like it and want it to continue further, please let me know. Until next time then... :raritystarry: