Randosity: The movie

by Rynn

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Random
Length: 1653

A short collection of stories.

This is just a collection of small random things I wrote stories about. Not to be taken seriously at all.

So when you're opening up a story, it will first begin with a centered note along the lines of:
TITLE HERE [Random][Dark]

Ponies : Rainbow Dash and Lyra
Plot : Standard Bank Heist plot
Twist : Turns out it was a blood bank
Moral : "Never look a gift horse in the mouth"

This is the plot I was given, I then form a story with that building blocks, and -only- those blocks. No other characters under any conditions appear. Feel free to give me more idea's in the comments. I'll be adding more on a semi-regular basis.

Published 2012-06-11 08:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-11 08:34:01 UTC

Fluttershy's Hair. [Grimdark]

Ponies: Fluttershy and rarity
Plot: they need a loan from a mob boss to pay for fluttershy's pink hair dye addiction
Plot twist: Spike is the mob boss
Moral: never swim in a river.

"Now darling, you just have to stop this madness."
Rarity walked alongside Fluttershy, but today was different then usual. Fluttershy's mane was tinged with blue at the very base, and despite having no money, she had pleaded with Rarity to help her once more."If I've told you once, I've told you 100 times... blue is... well it's in. You should be proud of your hair color, instead of hiding it."
Fluttershy blushed, and she whispered back to Rarity; "Oh, I know... but I really like pink. I've been doing it since I was a filly."
Rarity just rolled her eyes... they had finally reached her boutique, and she used her magic to levitate a bottle of the dye to Fluttershy's bag, "Oh well... just try it sometimes darling, alright? That will cost 20 bits." Rarity gave out a laugh, but it was cut short by a concerned glance from Fluttershy.
"Um... 20 bits?"
"Oh, why yes, the pegasi have had a dreadful time getting the pink out of rainbows recently, so the price has been skyrocketing... is there a problem?"
Rarity looked around the boutique, but Fluttershy was nowhere to be found. Nor was the bottle of hair dye. She let out a huff, and reminded herself to ask Fluttershy for the money once he saw her again.

Fluttershy was nervous, she was on her way to the stream in the everfree forest, where she had Derpimina Hooves set up a meeting with a mob boss, whom she was going to borrow 100 bits from, so she could purchase even more of her Hair Dye... She often wondered how her life would have turned out if she hadn't chosen such an expensive dye... but that wasn't important right now, she was nearing the clearing, and the mob boss was in sight...

"It's great to see you, now what do you nee- Fluttershy?"
"...Um... Spike?"

This wasn't what Fluttershy had expected at all, the tiny dragon had 6 armed pony's with him, and he had a bowler hat and trenchcoat... this was obviously the real deal. He looked at her with his beady eyes for a long time, and the silence hung in the air thick enough to cut. After a brief pause, Spike casually said; "Well you found me, congradu-fucking-lations. How much do you need, and tell Twilight and you'll both be in this river."

"Oh... um... 100..."
"How long do you need it?"
"Um... 2 weeks?"
"Too long, a week"
"I... I can't do that"
"Really? Then get the fuck out of my sight"

Fluttershy had never felt more intimidated, she said; "...Sorry" almost inaudibly.
Spike motioned to the ponies, and one of them grabbed her, "Do you like rivers?", spike casually sauntered on with his thoughts
"....No"
Spike turned around and slapped her. "Well I do... but I don't like people swimming in mine... do you know why?"
Fluttershy started to cry, the ponies were holding her rather tightly and it hurt. "...No... why..."
"Because, Fluttershy. When you have injuries... like you will," Spike motioned to one of the guards, whom grabbed her front legs, and twisted them, causing a audible snap, "Swimming in rivers can be dangerous... of course... when you waste my time... and blow my cover... I like it when you swim in rivers."

Fluttershy sobbed uncontrollably, Spike gave the thought time to settle, and then motioned for them to throw her into the river... It would flow past ponyville, and her body would take about 2 days to get there, washed of any evidence. A perfect crime; "Well if you live, remember what I just taught you... Don't swim in rivers... got that sweet thing?"

Fluttershy was never heard from again.

So a Chiken, A Dragon, and a Weightlifter all walked into... [Random]

Ponies: Scootaloo, Steroid pony and Steven Magnet (the river dragon)
Plot: indentured to a kitchen till they pay off their bill
Twist: Steven can't fit in the kitchen!
Moral: check your wallet before you order

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
Scotaloo flinched, this pony scared her. He was really good at washing dishes, but he was a little creepy. He was usually the bus boy at this place, but tonight she had to wash the dishes, because her blind date didn't read the rules, and didn't bring enough money. He was currently outside, blindly trying to wash dishes with the one claw that fit inside the building. All he's managed to do was break 4 stacks of dishes though.
Scootaloo groaned, then pulled her head through the window and shouted;"Steven... STOP HELPING".
She then made a wretching sound, and the Muscular bus boy popped out of her mouth and shouted with much enthusiasm; "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH". He then removed himself from Scootaloo's throat, whom was feeling oddly violated.
Steven cried; "Oh, but no. I must help! I'm helping, right?"
Scootaloo was about to open her mouth when she felt the busboy erupt from her ear; "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Sometimes, Scootaloo wished she wasn't in a cartoon.

Maximum Pony [Crossover] [Random[

The person giving this idea didn't follow my template. All they said was

"(failed attempt at ponified brony)"

Soooooo.....

"Hey, Max, look at this one!"
Iggy was squinting at a specific cage in the corner of the lab. The creature was doing much better then most of the labcoats experiments. Before long Nudge had arrived and was reading the chart near the side. "70% human, 30% pony... looks like the labcoats found a new stable splice."
Max scowled. The last thing she wanted to hear was that they were starting a new set of experiments. She wished Fang would return soon, so that they could get back out of this place. The sooner they found Angel, the sooner they could leave.

The creature from the cage let out a whimper, then said in a pleading voice "...pway?" The Gazzman then copied the abominations voice.

Corruption of Cuteness [Grimdark

Ponies: CMCs
Plot: they go into the evergreen forest, and meet the smurfs.
Twist: turns out, they are really imps.
Moral: be careful of who you make your friends.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS CERIAL CREATORS!"
This is how it all started.
This was meant to just another silly game.
Another attempt to be together
As friends always should be.
Together.
As one.
Forever.
But now, she was alone, and she'd never see them again.
The lonelines she felt now was beyond a doubt the culmination of her own mistakes.
When they met the blue creatures... they said they were friends.
They said they were pappa, and lazy, and "Grandpa"... they had such cute names.
They were so small...
Smurfette promised they would be safe.
Scootaloo even got her cutie mark...
Now they were dead.
Eaten.
Never to be seen again.
and Sweetie was lost.
Nowhere to go.
Nothing to do.
She could only hide.
Hide and go seek was such a fun game.
Hide and go die, not so much.

The Blood Bank [Dark]

Ponies : Rainbow Dash and Lyra
Plot : Standard Bank Heist plot
Twist : Turns out it was a blood bank
Moral : "Never look a gift horse in the mouth"

The moon was but a sliver above Ponyville on this night, but you couldn't tell from just looking for it, for the pegasi's weather had forcast a deep fog for tonight, and so light and sound did not travel all too well. Only the chirps of crickets disturbed the blanket of silence that had fallen over the country town. The lights in all the houses were off, and even Twilight had retired to her cot. The town seemed to stand still, as if frozen in time. All except for one corner of the town, where if you listened careful, you might have heard a door opening. Perhaps some whispering too.

"Rainbow Dash... I don't think this is a good idea," Lyra said, nervously following Rainbowdash through the bank.

"Oh will you calm down, Lyra? We're not going to get caught... we just walked in they were begging to be robbed."

Lyra frowned, Rainbowdash was confident like usual, but she wasn't confident about this at all. When she had offered to help with anything on Rainbowdash's birthday, she hadn't been expecting Dash to ask her to rob a bank. She contemplated how she got here, but she just couldn't imagine how. She offered to watch the door while Dash got together the bags. Before long they were running out of the bank with their bags in hoof.

They run through Ponyville, on the way back to Rainbowdash's house. Before long they arrived, and after carrying Lyra up to the house, Dash greedily ripped one of the bags open, her eyes glinting with excitement. Lyra smiled and tried to get into the spirit of things, but she felt so weird watching Rainbowdash plunge a straw into the middle of the bag, and then sip some blood out of it, moaning in delight. Before long she looked up and thanked Lyra.

"Thank you so much! Best, Gift, Ever!"

Lyra stared at her nervously. "Um... no problem Rainbowdash..." She had to get out of here.

Rainbowdash stopped drinking from the bloodbag for a second, she stared at Lyra, a inquisitive look in her eyes. "Btw... Lyra... there is something in your teeth"

Lyra whad already taken a flying leap back towards town by the time Rainbowdash said this, and she was already running with a limp back towards the town when she shouted back, "It's not polite to stare a giftmare in the mouth! Bye!"

Rainbowdash watched her run away, giggling to herself before returning to the bloodbag. It was a good lesson she guessed... she should put it in a letter.