The Phone Competition

by SilverStar7

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Equestria Girls, Rainbow Dash (EqG), Comedy, Slice of Life, Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Main 7 (EqG)
Length: 3507

Rainbow Dash from Equestria meets someone as competitive as she is... herself!

Rainbow Dash from Equestria has decided that she would like to have a smartphone. The Rainbow Dash from the human world has one. When Equestrian Rainbow Dash steals the human Rainbow Dash's phone, the two hold a competition to decide who keeps it. But, more importantly, the contest will determine which of them is better!

Sunset does not approve.

Published 2017-01-16 23:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-18 20:48:00 UTC

A Crime of Opportunity

"And in conclusion to this resolutionary addendum to my final point, I would like to again apologize for all the inconveniences caused to you by my action. While I believe the long-term effects on these worlds to be minimal, as outlined in Appendix 1, Risk Assessment, I do know that your personal hardships are significant to you, and I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me. (And, yes, I did learn that humans also have hearts, and much more about their circulatory system. See List of possible scientific leaks in Appendix 2b.)

"Above all else, I hope you will remain my friend.

"Sincerely sorry,
"Twilight Sparkle"

Spike sighed for the last time, and again turned his face to the coffee table, taking a long drink from the bowl of water Sunset had placed in front of him.

Sunset was grinning. "Is that all?" she asked.

The purple dog held up a paw as he continued to drink. He finished with a gasp and looked back to Sunset. "That's all, unless you want me to read you the six appendices right now."

Shaking her head, the human girl picked up the apology letter. Or perhaps apology textbook was a better description? "Honestly, I wasn't even that upset at Twilight. I just wanted my phone back."

"Well, Twilight was pretty upset with herself," said Spike. "I haven't had to write an 81 point paper with her since she became a princess."

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "You had to write an 81 point paper before this one?"

Spike stared off into a distant place beyond the wall of Sunset's apartment. "I barely even remember the details. It was something to do with unicorn magic. Or maybe unicorn biology? All I remember now is writing. It was just my claw, my quill, and words. Endless... words..." Spike became quieter, but his mouth still moved as he continued to mumble for a few moments. The dog finally brought his consciousness back to the room when Sunset touched his shoulder. He shook his head and looked to his dominant paw. "My claw was cramped so badly I needed three massages to fix it. Twilight promised me a trip to the spa when I got back this time. But, honestly, it doesn't hurt much as a dog."

"I would guess you don't really have the same muscles now." Sunset touched a finger to her chin. "In fact, that's probably exactly why. You wouldn't have writer's cramp because you don't have any writing muscles to cramp up."

"So I guess you'll need to write your apology acceptance back to Twilight. If you aren't sure what to say, you can fill out that form she mentioned in Appendix 4."

"I'll do that as soon as I get back from class." Sunset pulled out her smartphone and grimaced. "Although, I guess I'll be starting with third period once I get to school..."

"I warned you that might happen."

"It's fine. I'm doing well in my classes anyway." Sunset stood up and walked across the room, grabbing her jacket and book bag. "Besides, Twilight is more important."

Spike hopped off of the couch and followed Sunset toward the door. "Well, make sure you tell her that in your apology. She hasn't felt this bad about a decision since the time she made half of Ponyville almost destroy each other over a doll."

Sunset stopped and blinked. "Over a doll? I find that hard to imagine, unless Twi--" The girl facepalmed. "She put a 'Want-It, Need-It' spell on it, didn't she?"

Nodding, Spike went ahead of Sunset and pushed her door open for her. "Twilight was just glad she wasn't exiled for that one. Or, well, sort of glad..."

"What do you mean 'sort of glad?'" asked Sunset as she walked out of her apartment.

"Well, she thought she got off too easy," said Spike, as he shut the door behind them. "So this time she decided that she was going to give herself the punishment she deserved..."

★ ★ ★

Rainbow Danger Dash was, by all accounts, the most super, ultra, extreme, aweso-mazing pony in all of Equestria. Well, at least by her accounting, and considering how professional she could be, her accounting skills were certainly just as full of radical-ness as her death-defying flying skills. After all, she had earned the title of Wonderbolt, and now she could add another title. "Yep, I'm liking the sound of Royal Guard Wonderbolt Rainbow Danger Professionalism Dash."

"Did you just give yourself two fake middle names?"

Dash looked over at her friend Twilight, who was sitting in her castle's dungeon. It was really just a row of storage closets with recently fitted barred doors, but whenever Dash smirkingly asked Twilight when she would finally come out of the closet, the Princess of Friendship would reminder her that, first, it was a dungeon, and second, this was not a joke. Dash still laughed.

"So what if I did?" asked Dash, grabbing her head in her hooves. "I'm just so bored. I didn't realize guarding a criminal was, like, the least interesting thing ever. It always sounded so cool to be a castle guard."

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" asked Twilight. "Make some sort of escape attempt just to make your day more exciting?"

Dash's eyes brightened. "That would be epic!"

"No, it would not!" said Twilight. "I'm a princess, and a princess does not try to escape from her prison sentence."

"Well, Luna did." Dash pointed out.

"It wasn't Luna who escaped, it was Nightmare Moon. Luna would never do something like that."

Dash's right eyebrow rose to behind her mane as she tilted her head sideways. "How are Luna and Nightmare Moon any different? They are literally the same pony."

"Ugh!" Twilight shook her head. "Absolutely not! Luna became Nightmare Moon as a result of the bitterness in her heart, but her actions after that transformation were only Nightmare Moon's. Luna's own consciousness was suppressed by her resentment, and remained so until the Elements of Harmony purified her heart. In fact, this distinction is why the Elements could turn her back instead of sending her to the moon all over again. Luna had come to regret her transformation after a thousand years, but Luna didn't regret becoming Nightmare Moon on the night she tried to overthrow Celestia. Therefore..."

Sweet Celestia, what have I done? Rainbow Dash was hardly in the mood for one of Twilight's rants about magic and philosophy. The only way she was going to be able to sit though this was if she was the one locked in a closet. She couldn't bring herself to tell Twilight that, but when looking for an excuse to get away, her bladder came to the rescue. When Twilight paused for a breath, Dash interrupted with, "Could I use the little fillies' room?"

Twilight blinked. "Uh, I guess. Do you want me to send for somepony else to keep watch?"

"Are you saying you're planning on escaping?" asked Dash, standing up and walking away from the "dungeon."

"Of course not, it's just--"

"I'll be all of two halls away. If you're worried that you're gonna wanna let yourself out early, just holler and I'll come and stop you."

Rainbow Dash left Twilight to her cell and made her way down the hall toward the bathroom. At least, she was pretty sure it was toward the bathroom. The castle's layout was fine, but it was massive and Rainbow Dash had really only spent time in a few of the rooms. In fact, she'd probably spent more time in Twilight's castle when they were renovating it than all other times combined. It certainly didn't help that almost every door looked the same.

For someone as obsessed with organization as Twilight, you'd think she'd have signs on her doors. And then those signs would have a little sign on them that said "Room Sign." Dash smirked as she rounded the corner to the hall that held the bathroom. There were six doors, each with the same opaque stained glass panes. Rainbow remembered that this hall held a bathroom, because Rarity was uncomfortable using this bathroom in the castle. Sure, its door was glass, but Rainbow knew that nopony could see through it. Not that she'd tried to see into the bathroom or anything...

Sort of wishing Twilight had been persnickety enough to mark all her rooms, Dash shrugged and tried one of the doors. It lead to a mostly empty room with a single desk and chair. Not sure what Twilight would need that for, Dash tried again and found the door lead to a storage closet with some spare quills and parchment, a telescope, the Crystal Mirror, a few rolled up rugs, and a several stray boxes. Closing the door, Dash prepared to try a third one when she stopped. The gears in her mind first ground to a halt, and then flipped into overdrive.

"It sounds like having your own dragon assistant," Dash remembered Fluttershy saying that. And she also remembered that time when Applejack had gotten to have Spike be her assistant, and how AJ had totally blown off the opportunity. Dash had only been given a glimpse of the, what had it been called again, smart-something?

"Every one of those little pictures is something the phone can do." Smartphone! That's what it was. And it was super easy to use. At least until Sunset messed things up by cutting the thing off from the other world's stuff. But, if Rainbow Dash wasn't cut off, she could figure it all out. Having other-worldly technology could be beyond epic. It probably can't wash my laundry or clean my room, but it could totally help me with my unfinished novel. At least, maybe. I can't get cut off again if I want to try though.

So, really, there was only one solution if Dash wanted to find out what the other world's technology could do without it losing the magical connection it had to the tower thing. But every time she or one of the others asked to go to the other world, Twilight gave them some excuse as to why they shouldn't. Now Twilight was literally behind bars. If Rainbow Dash was ever going to get a chance to visit that other universe and try out their technology, she would never find a better time to do so than that moment. Would Twilight buy her explanation that she'd gotten lost on her way to the bathroom and ended up in a parallel dimension?

The pegasus' bladder kicked at her lower abdomen, begging her to first use the bathroom before gallivanting off to another dimension. They have to have bathrooms in the other world, right? And I can't find the one here... Clearly, going to that world was the mare's only option.

That half-baked explanation and sense of urgency was enough to convince her that she had no choice. Dash opened up the storage closet. To say she was throwing caution to the winds would imply she still had caution with her after all the years of stunts. In an instant, the pegasus had flown headlong into the mirror, and vanished from Equestria.

Author's Note

Sorry this took so long to come out, but I'm glad I waited. The whole idea of Twilight throwing herself in the dungeon only occurred to me in mid-June. Another idea about Twilight in the later chapter didn't come to me until October. And the final piece was Rainbow's motivation for going, which didn't occur to me until December.

Honestly, I had fears about producing my first sequel. How could it live up to the success of the previous story, while addressing all of the criticisms of the first one? I wanted it to be proof that I was a better writer. But, after watching a movie that came out a month after my previous story, I should have learned that being perfect isn't the point - it's about trying even though I could fail. :rainbowdetermined2:

So you can let me know what new mistakes I made this time around.

Learning to Walk

Rainbow Dash landed in front of the statue at Canterlot High about as gracefully as a pegasus turned human who had flown through a magic portal could be expected to land. Fortunately, her forelimbs had been stretched out, so her impact with the pavement started with her hands. Still, it only somewhat mitigated the inevitable collision with her face. Mostly limp, the only sign of Dash's consciousness was a feeble and drawn out "ooow."

Sprawled out on the ground, eyes closed from the impact, Rainbow Dash reached up a hoof to massage her temple, only to feel some sort of bizarre spider-like creature grasp her face.

Eyes shooting open, Dash screamed, pushed on the ground with her forelimbs, and tried to fly away, but instead flopped back down again as her arms and legs flailed about uselessly. It was then she realized she couldn't feel her wings! She tried standing up with her arms and legs to run, but found that her forelimbs were only about two-thirds as long as her hind legs. Unfortunately, she realized this too late, and again toppled onto her face.

Seeing that she was getting nowhere by acting without thinking, Rainbow Dash rolled over onto her back and took a deep breath. If she was going to make any progress, she had to understand what she was.

After giving herself a few moments just to breathe, Dash raised and looked at her new arms. The things were jointed at a 90 degree angle - clearly not designed for walking forward. They almost totally lacked fur, instead having only the smallest hint of hair. And at the ends, below a pair of rainbow colored bands, instead of solid hooves, there were strange five-legged squids. Trying to adjust her hoof revealed that each of the tentacles could move independently.

Dash frowned at her new appendages.

The closest normal thing she could compare them to were Spike's claws. But the lack of scales showed her that she was not a dragon. Besides, the claws were tipped with dull nails, not sharp talons.

Looking at the rest of her body, Rainbow Dash saw that she was wearing an outfit for some reason. A blue jacket and a white shirt that bore her cutie mark, along with a pink and white skirt that looked pretty good considering she normally didn't like pink. And she was wearing tall shoes, but only on her hind legs. She supposed that, if her claws were anything like Spike's, then she'd need them for doing things and couldn't put them in shoes.

Even with that reasoning, it still felt strange to only wear shoes on her hind limbs. She wondered if her lower limbs also had grabby things, so she tried wiggling them. There was something there, but they seemed much smaller than her forelimb ones. What were Spike's called? Talons?

No. Toes. She had toes.

Toes and claws instead of hooves.

Well, I always thought it would be cool to be a dragon. Looks like I'm about 80% there. Dash smiled at the idea, but soon frowned at the implications. Spike, and most younger dragons as well, walked on their hind legs. Her only shoes were on her hind legs. Which meant... But I hate being up on my hind legs!

Rainbow Dash was a flyer, occasionally a runner, but not a two-hoofer. Sure, some circus performers could walk on two hooves, but most ponies did so rarely, only using the extra height afforded by being on hind legs to reach high-up objects. And they almost always propped themselves against something with their forelimbs for balance. Rainbow had never gotten good at the practice. She had wings to reach high-up stuff, and had used them proudly since she was a little filly.

But that was in another body and another universe. This Rainbow Dash was clearly designed to walk like a circus pony. No. She reminded herself. Like a dragon.

Taking another deep breath, Rainbow Dash put her claws on the ground behind her and pushed, causing the wanna-be dragon to lift herself into a sitting position. Nodding at her success of getting closer to standing, the former pony now considered her options for moving forward.

In her mind, she pictured how she wanted to end up. She would have her hind legs below her and her forelimbs at her sides, her head all the way up at the top of her body. She didn't remember learning to walk as a filly - most didn't, they learned before they could start forming memories. But she did remember learning to fly, and how important it was to have her wings be at the foundation of everything she did.

So it seemed reasonable to start with the foundation for standing up.

In the desired position, her feet would be flat on the ground. So Rainbow turned her feet to place their soles on the cement in front of her.

Next, she needed to get her legs up. So she pulled with her feet and legs, but found that she didn't move. The stupid backward joints at her knees didn't give her the leverage to stand up. That couldn't be right. How was she supposed to stand up and stay standing if she couldn't pull up her weight with her legs?

Looking around, Rainbow Dash saw the statue where she had entered. She was surprised to see that the portal on this end wasn't a mirror, but was glad that there was something solid there. She'd have to use the side of the statue to prop herself up. It was the only way. But how to get there...

Examining her body again, Dash realized that, while her legs were much longer than her forelimbs, her backward joints would allow her to rest her weight on her knees. Nodding, Dash rotated herself so that she was on her knees and then fell forward to plant her claws onto the ground. This was a much more familiar posture and it was relatively easy for Dash to crawl toward the statue. Upon reaching its base, the girl pressed both of her claws firmly against the side.

As much as she detested this feeling, she did know how the process worked.

Drawing her weight toward the statue, she moved her upper body up and, slowly, her legs unfolded. The girl formed an archway above the cement and, carefully, she clawed her way up the side while bringing her feet closer to the statue. Before she knew it, her feet were flat on the ground.

Dash could feel that virtually all of her weight was now being supported by her hind legs and allowed herself to let go of the statue. She found that she was standing upright with minimal effort. Looking down, Dash smiled.

Piece of cake.

She then looked around her at the world.

The ground seemed quite far away. Normally, Dash only saw grass and roads from this perspective when flying above the ground. To see things this way with hooves planted was a strangely satisfying experience. She thought of ponies like Big Mac and Celestia and imagined that this was how they always saw the world.

Dash also clearly saw Canerlot High in front of her.

With a sigh, she looked to her legs. "Just keep putting each hoof in front of its other." That was the expression and it should work here too. Only, without the "each." So, one hoof in front of the other. She lifted up one of her hoofs and quickly placed it slightly forward. Then, she repeated the process, taking the hoof farther back and pulling it up to be in front of the other. And again. And again.

With each step, a smile began to manifest on Rainbow's face. Then, a chuckle formed. Finally, a laugh was let out as she began to rapidly walk toward Canterlot High.

Mastering an alien body in ten seconds flat. Rainbow Dash was truly was the most awesome being in any universe.

★ ★ ★

Not far off, Sunset and Spike were about to cross the street to enter the high school grounds.

"Why is Rainbow Dash outside the school at this hour?" asked Sunset.

Spike's paw scratched at his temple. "And why is she cackling manically?"

"And why did she just trip on the stairs?"

Author's Note

The concept of a pony-turned-human needing to learn how to do basic things like walk was something I had hoped would be explored in the original EqG film. Sadly, it was not. So, this was my take on it.

I also would like to say "thank you" to randomkid for being an early reader on this chapter. Without the help, I'd have probably dragged my feet on this for another week. No pun intended.