Every cloud has a silver lining, turning dimmer by the day.

by Ienzo arzo

Rating: everyone
Tags: Drama, Second Person, Slice of Life
Length: 1627

What if your best isn't enough?

At the annual festival in Cloudsdale, Rainbow Dash once again finds herself conflicted. Unable to solve her own problem, she slowly slips into a state of negligence which ultimately reaches out, and even shakes the foundation of the very element she is suppose to represent.
Depressed and lost she goes to her friends, but will they even be able to help at this point?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-03 20:12:25 UTC

%0% The Introduction: Back in Cloudsdale.

It was a sunny day; Cloudsdale Stadium was overrun with eager colts and mares, awaiting the big annual talent race being held, and judged, by no other than the Wonderbolts; Equestria's top athletes in the field of aviation and airborne stunts.

As the idols, dressed in their iconic blue and yellow, flew across the sky,  the rows were painted in the colors of their city's pride as they engulfed the sky in a stream of fireworks and ceremonial uproar, where only one voice stod out above the rest.

"WUHHUUUUU! GO WONDERBOLTS!" Rainbow Dash was patiently, or not so, standing in line, waiting to get in. Standing a little behind her was  Fluttershy - her only acquintance -  who, for some reason, didn't really seem to share her enthusiasm.

"Uhmm.. Rainbow Dash.. do you mind, maybe, screaming a little.. quieter? People are looking at us funny." She uttered, with an intonation easily mistaken for the act of whispering. "Huh, did you say something, Fluttershy?" She retorted uninterested, not even looking her way, totally distracted by what was going on inside the stadium.

"No, nevermind, but why are you so eager to get in anyways?"  Fluttershy waited for a sign of response from her distracted friend and, after she confirmed that she listened, continued: "You have attended this festival, and seen this show, almost every year since its initiation, and last year you almost took it as a burden to go, but did it to 'be a supportive fan'. Did something change this year?"

In the meantime the frantic uproars from the stadium kept getting louder, forcing any normal conversations within close proximity to be accentuated in a slightly more emphasized manner. Rainbow Dash remained silence for some time, before finally letting out a sigh; a breeze of capitulation, and faced her confused friend.

"Look, to tell you the truth, Fluttershy, I am not here to be a spectator; I am here" - she unwillingly returned to her original position, facing away from her friend - "to be a contender."

Fluttershy looked at her friend with a mix of fear and awe; emotions of ambivalence pulling her thoughts in different directions.

"That's great, Rainbow dash, but honestly.. are you sure about this?" Was what she managed to articulate, but it was clear from the way she asked it, that it was doubt that mainly occupied her mind; producing a voice in her head she didn't even know she had:

'We've been over this, remember? This is not the first time you're trying and fear always get the best of you in front of large crowds... Do you really wanna go through all the humiliation, and sacrifice the respect you've gained with your heroes over the last 3-4 years? The respect you've worked so hard to accumulate?' But the words were as if glued to the inside of her head, and all that came out was an indistinct frail vowel, more reminiscent of that of an agonized animal being threatened by a pack of wolfs.

"Of course, I am sure, Fluttershy! Don't worry, okay?" She responded, unaffected by her friend's sudden nervous facial expression.

"Look, I am only doing this because Rapidfire has resigned, leaving an open post in the Wonderbolts, and I'm sure they'll somehow tie it into this competition. Do you understand Fluttershy? I might have a chance of getting into the Wonderbolts!"

Unable to share her friend's sudden elavation in happiness, Fluttershy decided to meet her half-way by forcing a little smile. This is also when she snapped back to reality, realizing how close they were to the gates; closer to the cacophony of the stadium and the inevitable fate that awaited her close childhood friend yet again.

"I just wish you would have told us sooner." She said resignedly, looking off into the distance.

"I'm sorry, but I was afraid that you guys would try to hold me back, and it just ran to my head. Please stay and watch me, I could really use some uplifting cheering from a friend, you know, just like we practiced years ago."

Fluttershy finally regained some confidence in both Rainbow Dash and nodded a slow yes.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank youuuuu..." Rainbow Dash exclaimed holding her tightly bound in a hug midair.

Fluttershy retaliated with a happy 'squee'.

Not so long after the two pegasi were on divirgent paths, as Fluttershy headed for one of the top rows, while Rainbow Dash went to prepare herself for the show that was about to unfold. Even with the small speech of self-confidence she proclaimed earlier to Fluttershy she was still a nervous wreck, and as soon as her friend had left her sight, the brain, which just moment ago had been filling her to the brim with excitement, quickly collpased in on itself in frustration.

"Stop doing this to yourself! Get yourself together!" Rainbow Dash yelled safely secured in her dressing room as she stood among countless hollow figurines equipped with costumes, which had been used for an array of shows throughout the years.

With that last outburst she even managed to produce a little glimse of self-confidence in form of a uplifting posture and smile, which were then quickly ruined by the commentators spouting ego-boosting truism, over the speaker, for the very heroes she looked up to: "Nobody can do it like them, folks!"

"I KNOW, I KNOW, I'M TRYING MY BEST, OKAY?" She shouted at the top of her lungs, in order to transform some of her inner frustrations to controlled anger in order to direct them outwards; into the open; letting them go, but they just kept coming back, or maybe the just never really left.

"Ms. Dash?" - a silver haired pegasus had just entered her makeshift abode - "are you alright? I thought I heard someone yell in here."

The culmination of Rainbow Dash's intrinsic nervousness, and a sudden appearence of an unspecified pegasus, almost made her fall over her own hooves trying to regain posture in a cool and collected manner. To the intruding mare it probably looked like some kind of panto.

"Yes, sir. I mean, mam. I am totally fantastically good, I mean great, amazing even! Nothing facing me.. what do you want?" She said rabidly quickly follow by a nervous detained laughter, forcing her eyes away from the onlooker.

The unnamed pegasus just stared unfazed at a piece of paper for a while, fiddling around with her glasses, before reminding her, that she was with the next team on stage and she should expect to roll-out in t-minus 5 minutes or so.

With that information out of the way she, hastily, bid Ms. Dash farewell, and leaved her alone with her thoughts to prepare for the upcoming brawl.

Rainbow Dash then shortly after left the room in the dead silence it was used to, and moved towards the waiting area. Every step felt harder and harder; wearing her down, every breath felt like it imprinted physical scars on her skin and even with the door at the end of the hall, signalizing a completed journey, within her eye-sight, it still felt like an eternity before she was actually holding the cold handle with her own hooves.

She entered the waiting area. It was filled with pegasi, of all ages, chatting about different topics, but she couldn't help but feel claustrophic somehow. For her it was a capsule with demonic voices echoing her incapability and letting it ricoche for an eternity; an isolated plane of whispers and stigmatization.

Lucikly a middleaged colt approach her: He wore a Canterlot blue pilot outfit that stod well with his eyes, but kind of went agaisnt his brown skin. His hair was lush and blond, but probably hadn't seen a cone for ages, judging by its wierd natural design. Not that he cared, he wasn't here to enter a beauty pageant and he knew what he was capable of. That was the sort of confidence he radiated that Rainbow Dash could only dream of having.

"Haven't I seen you somewhere before? You look familiar, missessss.?" he asked, stretching his last consonant to express his search for a name.

"No, you probably mistook me for someone else" - she responded cold and dismissive; feeling that, right now, the less people who knew her, the better.

'Wait aren't you Rainbow Dash, THE Rainbow Dash? The element of loyalty? The creator of the super-sonic rainboom? one of the fastest pegasi ali...'

"No, I am not that Rainbow Dash, now please go, I need to concentrate."

He was about to make another rebuttal just as the speakers foretold the nearest future once again: "all contenstants with the numbers 45 through 78, please stand ready at the gate, we are ready to go in t-minus 1 minute'.

"Well, ms. Not-Dash, I guess we'll see eachother out there. Good luck." And with that, he made his absent.

She slowly followed the other contenstants to the preparation stands and waited for the gates to open with a mixed anticipation. The older pegasus had given her a small identification boost: 'Yeah, I AM that Rainbow Dash, I can do this!', and whether he did it on purpose didn't stand clear in her head, but she was most certain that it wasn't strong enough to undermime her years of phobia.

Suddenly, and with a loud clanking sound, the door opened. The day light she had welcomed with open arms this very morning, now burned her eyes and filled her with anxiety, as it lit up the entire stadium making everyone visible, including herself; there was nowhere to run now.

She took a deep breath and to the collective sound of stamping hooves, she rose to the challenge before her.

[Continued]