All Over the Board

by Brass Polish

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Random, Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Silver Spoon, Mystery, Comedy, Other
Length: 4458

Pinkie Pie can’t figure out why she can’t find any foals in Ponyville one ordinary day, and tries excruciatingly hard not to panic.

Pinkie Pie can’t figure out why she can’t find any foals in Ponyville one ordinary day, and tries excruciatingly hard not to panic.

Published 2016-02-03 22:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-03 22:40:02 UTC

1 Sovereignty

It was the last day of school before the Hearth’s Warming holidays. In celebration, Miss Cheerilee’s class was having a party in the schoolhouse. Pinkie Pie was hired to deliver some snacks to the party, and arrived right when the first bell rang with a trailer of baked goods.

“Who wants butter tarts!” she called as she burst into the schoolhouse.

Apple Bloom, Twist, and Diamond Tiara ran to the wagon to take a sample each.

“It’s gonna be a good party,” said Diamond Tiara, taking a bite of her tart.

Apple Bloom and Twist were about to shovel their own tarts in, but the sight of Diamond Tiara toppling to the floor and twitching with her eyes crossed stopped them in their tracks.

Pinkie Pie screamed. “Diamond Tiara’s been poisoned!”

The sound of Pinkie Pie freaking out caused Diamond Tiara to snicker.

“Gotcha!” she called.

Cheerilee and the other school ponies didn’t take the joke as well as Pinkie Pie did.

“I thought I’d tainted the pastries somehow!” she cackled. “Good one, DT!”

“Wanna join the party?” asked Diamond Tiara after the two of them were done laughing.

“Do you know who you’re talking to?” grinned Pinkie. “Uh… but I’ve got responsibilities at Sugarcube Corner today. I’ll pop in later with another cartload of snacks.”

“Pinkie Pie might have gotten a kick outta your prank, Di,” Silver Spoon said after the party pony left, “but you scared the heck outta the rest of us.”

“I know,” giggled Diamond Tiara. “I spotted you from the floor. It looked like you were gonna faint. And you were standing right next to that game box you brought too. What game did you bring, anyway?”

“Oh! It’s called Sovereignty,” Silver Spoon was getting excited. “It’s a… um, it’s kind of a board game, but there’s also cards and dice, and a guide book.”

“I’m game,” Button Mash overheard and sidled up to Silver Spoon. “What’s the idea?”

“Well, the middle of the game board is a dungeon,” Silver Spoon opened her box and began taking things out. “And the players’ game pieces represent warriors whose kingdom they serve has been overthrown. They start the game by getting liberated, and…”

“Who liberates them?” Dinky showed interest as well.

“Uh… some guy,” said Silver Spoon.

“What’s his game piece?” asked Dinky.

“He doesn’t have one,” said Silver Spoon. “Just use your imagination. So, each player is supplied with gear, as in a deck of cards and some dice, and given a section of the map, or board, to reclaim from the overlords.”

“What represents the overlords?” asked Dinky.

“This book, I guess. If you make it that far, this guides you on who they are and what they do,” explained Silver Spoon.

“If you make it that far?”

“Me and my mom haven’t gotten there yet,” said Silver Spoon.

Diamond Tiara, Button Mash, and Dinky found the game really confusing, so naturally, they quickly got into it. They were barely aware of the party around them as they made their way along their respective sections of the board.

“Hey, anyone for pin the tail on the pony?” Gilt Eyes interrupted the five distracted foals.

“We’re busy,” said Button Mash and Dinky.

“You’re just gonna flip the poster on me while I’m blindfolded,” Silver Spoon shook her head.

“You don’t even need a blindfold,” grinned Gilt Eyes, magicing Silver Spoon’s glasses off.

“Knock it off!” Silver Spoon grabbed her glasses back instantly. “I’m playing here if you don’t mind!”

Gilt Eyes observed the game’s progress. “Wow, Spoony. I thought you were the one who brought this game. Look how far behind everypony else you are.”

“She was winning at first,” said Dinky, “but she stumbled upon a tribe of lumberjack vigilantes who took her for a spy and catapulted her back to square one.”

“How did you not die?” asked Gilt Eyes.

“I found an umbrella buried in the snow along my way,” said Silver Spoon, “so I Marey Poppinsed down to the ground.”

“Hey, can you pick a new area of the board now that you’re back at the start?” asked Gilt Eyes. “That bit with the gold mines looks cool.”

“No, you gotta stick with the part you choose,” answered Silver Spoon. “You can take it if you want. Ponies are allowed to join the game while it’s in progress.”

“Nice! I bet I’ll get further than you,” Gilt Eyes picked a game piece and parked himself between Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara.

“Not if you’re a breezie,” chuckled Diamond Tiara, pointing at the game piece Gilt Eyes had hastily chosen. “Try digging for gold like that.”

When Pinkie Pie returned to the schoolhouse with another wagonload of sweets, she stuck around for fifteen minutes to mingle with Cheerilee and the school ponies. She had a round of pony tail pinning with Snips and Snails, and she had some fun with Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle with a frisbee, but she hadn’t spared much of a thought for the corner of the classroom where the Sovereignty board game was. And Silver Spoon, Diamond Tiara, Button, Dinky, and Gilt Eyes were so invested in their game that they didn’t even know Pinkie Pie had dropped by again.

“Careful, Silver,” warned Diamond Tiara. “You’re getting closer to the lumberjacks’ camp.”

“Yeah, and this time, they’ll be expecting you,” said Button Mash.

“That’s why I picked up that stool I found,” said Silver Spoon. “It’s got termites. I’ll get those lumberjacks distracted by wrecking their trees.”

Something splatted on Dinky’s part of the board.

“I’m being attacked by a jam donut!” she exclaimed.

“Sorry,” Apple Bloom picked up the snack she’d dropped. “Looks like your game piece didn’t get moved.”

“That’s because the pieces and board are magnetic,” said Gilt Eyes. “Silver Spoon said there’s a good reason for it, and I guess…”

“That wasn’t it,” grinned Silver Spoon. “You’ll see what it is when Button gets to his end of the board.”

Button was the closest to the end, and when he reached it on his next turn, Silver Spoon revealed a folded extension.

“Whoa! I’m not even close to the end!” exclaimed Button Mash.

Apple Bloom was intrigued, and decided to join the game. This prompted Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle to abandon their frisbee and see what the fuss was about. Nyx and Lazybug joined in soon after. Even Cheerilee expressed interest in playing. She was lucky, as there were only eleven pieces, and the rest of the class wanted to play now and had to settle for watching.

“The final bell’s gonna ring soon,” said Cheerilee.

There was a collective “Aw” in the classroom.

“But I’ll tell you what,” Cheerilee went on. “We can carry on with this party tomorrow. We can come back here and keep playing this game.”

“You’re saying we should spend our first day of the holidays at school?” spluttered Snips.

“I like that idea,” said Diamond Tiara. “We’ll all get to start over.”

“What?! Why don’t we just leave it here overnight and pick up where we left off tomorrow?” asked Button Mash.

“Well,” said Silver Spoon, “if the rest of you would like to play, then tomorrow…”

She paused impressively.

“I’ll bring the expansion packs.”

“There are expansion packs?!” cried the class.

“Extra board sections, more decks of cards, another pile of die, a second volume of the guide book,” Silver Spoon listed, “and of course, more game pieces.”

No one objected to the game restarting next day, and so Silver Spoon packed her game away when the final bell rang, and everypony departed.

The next morning, Pinkie Pie awoke to Gummy spitting a note from Mrs Cake onto her face.

“Oh! I don’t have to foalsit the twins today,” she said. “I guess I’ve got a free day. What should I do? Should I try making Granny Pie’s 15 hour recipe again? Seventh time’s a charm. Or should I update the files in the Party Cave? I haven’t added folders for Nyx or Winter Squash yet. I know! I’ll go to the castle and see how Starlight’s cure for Amber’s disease is coming along!”

She saw that Gummy had a whisk in his mouth.

“Aw, sorry Gummy,” Pinkie patted her pet alligator on the head, “I know you love helping me bake, but I didn’t know I’d have the day off, so I haven’t got any of the ingredients ready. See you later.”

“Well, we’ve studied the Crystal Heart’s magic as much as we can,” Starlight told Pinkie when she barged into the lab Twilight had set up for her. “But we haven’t thought of a way to drive the Venomodo’s virus out of Amber.”

“Hey! Remember when the Tantabus was terrorizing everypony in town’s dreams, and we all used our mental powers to fight it off?!” exclaimed Pinkie. “Amber, you were in town that night after that temp job!”

Amber, Starlight, Twilight, and Spike gasped.

“Princess Luna’s dream magic didn’t harm Amber either!” cried Twilight.

“Great! I thought we hit a dead end! Thanks, Pinkie!” smiled Starlight.

“I’ll get a quill and paper,” Spike dashed from the lab.

Pinkie Pie looked around. She spotted Owlowiscious napping on a bottle rack.

“Where’s Nyx?” she asked.

“I’m not sure. Lazybug came by and they both ran off this morning,” said Twilight.

“Alrighty,” said Pinkie. “I’m gonna go buy some chocolate, gnash, buttercream, and stuff for the next time I have an impromptu day off.”

And Pinkie Pie bounced away.

During her time at the market, Pinkie Pie didn’t see any foals.

“That’ funny,” she said to herself. “It’s the first day of the Hearths Warming holidays. I thought I’d see foals all over town. It’s not that cold out. And the town’s not busy getting rid of that tree.”

Having bought everything she needed for her super-special, triple-chocolate, fifteen-layer marjolaine recipe, she returned to Sugarcube Corner to store it all away.

“Huh. No foals here getting milkshakes or anything,” she observed.

She spotted Derpy in line.

“Hey, Derpster!” she called, glomping the mailmare without notice. “How’s Dinky enjoying the holidays?”

“Uh, I’m not sure,” said Derpy after Pinkie had loosened her grip on her neck. “I haven’t seen her much today. We didn’t have breakfast together. Featherweight dropped by early this morning and they both went away somewhere.”

“Huh. Maybe all the foals are playing somewhere,” suggested Pinkie Pie.

“I wish I knew where,” said Derpy.

“Maybe I’ll ask around when I drop off all my stuff,” said Pinkie. “It sounds like all the foals are doing something fun.”

She was quite right. Cheerilee and her students had been playing Sovereignty since sunrise, and those expansion packs that Silver Spoon brought along were already providing a plethora of entertainment. But it seemed that none of the foals had told anyone what they were doing. Not thoroughly anyway. Pinkie Pie had gone to Carousel Boutique to ask Rarity where Sweetie Belle was, and she said her sister left early in the morning. That was all she knew. So Pinkie Pie went to Sweet Apple Acres to inquire about Apple Bloom. But Applejack, Big McIntosh, and Granny Smith all had no idea where Apple Bloom had gone to after breakfast.

“Well, this is a bit suspicious, but there’s no need to fret,” Pinkie said. “I’ll check the treehouse while I’m here.”

It was empty.

“Huh. OK. There are plenty of other parents and siblings of the school ponies to question,” she said calmly.

Quick chats with everyone from Thunderlane to Silver Tuna to Crosspatch were inconclusive.

“Well, there’s one family left to ask. And by process of elimination, they’re bound to have some useful information for me,” Pinkie reasoned.

The only foal who hadn’t gone to the schoolhouse first thing in the morning was Diamond Tiara. Her mother often gave her odd jobs to do whenever Randolph was having one of his lumbago episodes. Today, she had her mopping the front hall until all the melted snow that had been tracked in the previous day was gone. As soon as she was finished, she left the house. She hadn’t gotten too far away when she heard a knocking behind her. She looked back and saw Pinkie Pie hammering on the door. Filthy answered, as Randolph was not fit for butler duties either.

“Hey Filthy, I can’t find any foals anywhere around town,” said Pinkie. “Is Diamond Tiara home?”

“She was,” replied Filthy. “And please, call me Mr Rich.”

Diamond Tiara had an idea. She fled the scene so as not to be spotted by Pinkie Pie.

“Well then,” said Pinkie Pie, “Since no one knows where their foals are… TIME TO PANIC BEYOND REASON AND RATIONALITY!”

Author's Note

Inspired by the Thomas & Friends episode "Disappearing Diesels"; although I am aware there are other TV show episodes with similar plots.

2 Minotaur

“There you are!” exclaimed Silver Spoon when Diamond Tiara burst into the schoolhouse. “Is anything wrong?”

“No, I’m good,” replied Diamond Tiara breathlessly. “How’s everyone doing?”

“I’ve been tin plated making me immune to slings and arrows, Rumble’s been appointed mayor of the crow ponies, Apple Bloom liberated a mercenary group from a fishmongers, and Twist is hiding in a sugarcane field to avoid a minotaur.”

Diamond Tiara hastily chose a game piece and a section of the expanded board; the part she picked faced the row of windows closest to the front door. She had a plan to freak Pinkie Pie out even more.

“I think something happened to all the school ponies!” Pinkie told Twilight. “None of their parents or siblings know where any of them are!”

“Calm down, Pinkie. They could be…”

“I know what they might be doing!” Pinkie interrupted. “They could be trying to overpower a power-hungry tyrant!”

“Huh?”

“You know, like they did with the Alicorn Amulet and that guy who was a less threatening version of Tirek!”

“Oh. So, you think they’re gathering in secret to stop a hostile takeover of Equestria?” asked Twilight.

“Uh, I could help you look for them if you like,” said Amber. “I’m not due to get a visit from Princess Luna until tonight, so I’ve got time.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s just a storm in a tea cup,” said Starlight.

“Easy for you to say,” twitched Pinkie. “You used to be a power-hungry tyrant.”

“Pinkie, you’re paranoid,” Twilight insisted. “I’m sure if their parents and siblings were worried, they would have come to either me or the Mayor by now.”

Pinkie looked at the door. Plainly, she’d expected somepony like Applejack or Derpy to burst into the room raving about their little foal going missing. But nopony arrived.

“Come on, Pinkie,” Amber took Pinkie’s hoof. “Let’s look around town together.”

Having played Sovereignty all day yesterday, Diamond Tiara was doing well despite starting later than the rest of the class. She was ploughing through her part of the board, and already, she’d unfolded several sections.

“Wow. You’re a machine,” said Rumble.

“Big deal,” scoffed Gilt Eyes, indicating his expanded part of the board. He’d unfolded so many sections, one of the school windows was covered up.

Diamond Tiara was one fold away from covering a window herself. Before her next turn came, she spotted Pinkie Pie and Amber Aldis approaching the school. She quickly grabbed the dice, and rolled a 249.

“Yes!”

She quickly moved her piece forward, commandeered the last few acres of the cauliflower field she’d requisitioned from the shifty apothecaries, and then she unfolded her next board expansion.

“The windows are boarded up!” she heard someone shout from the other side.

“Is somepony yelling out there?” asked Cheerilee.

“I didn’t hear anything, Miss Cheerilee,” lied Diamond Tiara.

On the other side of the wall, Pinkie Pie and Amber Aldis played right into Diamond Tiara’s hooves by trying to peer through the windows that happened to be blocked by Sovereignty boards.

“Well, the school’s locked up, so there’s nopony in there,” Amber said. “Um, we should probably split up. Why don’t you go see Zecora in the Everfree Forest?”

“Great idea!” Pinkie Pie bounded away. “I’ll find out who they’re trying to stop from taking over Equestria!”

Amber sighed. “I’ll bet she’ll be in there for a while. I guess I’ll see if I can get any information from Cheerilee.”

Ponies had to be careful not to draw attention to themselves when they entered the Everfree to visit Zecora, but Pinkie Pie was in such a rush, she showed less restraint than usual upon arrival. Her panic over not knowing where any of the school ponies were was not helped by the arrival of a minotaur, who stomped towards her until a talisman materialized out of nowhere and went over Pinkie’s head and around her neck. The minotaur recoiled, and promptly retreated.

“Forget that noise!” he groaned as he ran into the overgrown bushes.

Once he was out of sight, Pinkie examined the protective talisman around her neck.

“Are you here, Zecora?!” she looked around.

“I’ll remind you that silence is paramount to survival,” Zecora emerged from behind a tree. “I must ask what warranted your obnoxious arrival.”

“All the foals in town are missing!” Pinkie could not keep her voice down. “I thought maybe they were taking turns with the Alicorn Amulet with you again to try and defeat some powerful villain!”

“If that is the case, it’s nothing to do with me. That amulet’s the only one I’ve touched recently,” Zecora removed the talisman from around Pinkie’s neck.

Pinkie Pie sighed. “They would have told you if they wanted to use the Alicorn Amulet, so that’s not what they’re doing. So where are they?!”

“I’m confident you’ll discover the explanation,” smiled Zecora. “And hopefully, it won’t cause you any frustration.”

Pinkie wasn’t listening.

“Mrs Cake’s note said she didn’t need me to foalsit anymore! What if that’s because Pound and Pumpkin are missing too?!”

And she bolted from the forest.

A quick and boisterous visit to Sugarcube Corner revealed that Pound and Pumpkin were safely at home.

“So it’s just the school ponies who vanished,” said Pinkie, not feeling any better despite her knowledge that the Cake twins were still here.

“I don’t think they vanished, hun,” said Cup Cake. “Although I do find it strange that nopony knows where they are. But if you don’t manage to find them, Amber surely will.”

Pinkie looked out the window and saw Amber Aldis flying above Ponyville squinting about for any sign of a school-age pony.

“Any ideas, Mrs Cake?” Pinkie Pie asked.

Cup Cake scratched her chin. “Perhaps they’re bowling. Or having their manes done.”

So Pinkie raced out of the bakery to make some inquiries. Sadly, Mr Kingpin, Aloe, and Lotus could not help her. No foals had visited the bowling alley or the spa that day.

“We have no appointments right now. Perhaps you’d like some treatment?” Aloe offered.

“You look awfully stressed out.”

“No thanks,” Pinkie Pie panted. “The only thing that could calm me down now is the sight of at least one of the school ponies!”

Her chance was fast approaching. The game of Sovereignty was going well, and the foals and Cheerilee were quite enjoying themselves. There were boards all over the classroom. Rumble had some sections on the ceiling. Both Featherweight and Snails were close to defeating the overlords, but by now, everypony was losing energy. No one thought to bring food and drink. Not everyone was on board with ending the game there, though.

“Perhaps if we all chip in, one of us could run and fetch some lunch,” suggested Cheerilee.

“I’ll go!” cried Diamond Tiara.

“Getting cocky, are ya?” chuckled Scootaloo. “Getting so far ahead even though you showed up late.”

Diamond Tiara didn’t answer as she collected everypony’s lunch money, but she actually wanted to see if Pinkie Pie was still freaking out about not knowing where all the foals in town disappeared to.

She was not disappointed. She made her way through town, and stayed out of sight when she spotted Pinkie Pie going door to door asking if anyone had seen any foals about. She managed to hold in her laughter until she got to the burger joint.

“Hey, Pinkie Pie was here half an hour ago asking about you and your classmates,” said the cashier.

“Oh. Well, if I see her, I’ll let her know where we all are,” lied Diamond Tiara.

“Where have you all been then?”

“Look, can I just get my order?”

“Oh, alright. If you think you can carry it all.”

All those bags of burgers and fries were rather heavy, and Diamond Tiara knew she’d look rather conspicuous carrying them all along Ponyville’s streets. She spotted Big McIntosh hauling an empty cart. He seemed to have finished a delivery of apples.

“Hey Big Mac, could you drop these off at the school house?” asked Diamond Tiara.

“Eeeyup,” nodded Big Mac.

Diamond Tiara was sure Pinkie Pie would get no information on the school ponies’ whereabouts from the quietest pony in town.

I’ll take the long way to school, she thought as she watched Big Mac leave with all the food, taking a sip from her pop that she held onto.

Diamond Tiara was wrong about Big McIntosh. Pinkie Pie left no pony unasked, and got an emphatic “Eeeyup” when she asked if he’d seen any foals.

“Blabbermouth,” Diamond Tiara grunted from behind the garbage bin she was hiding behind.

Perhaps if Pinkie had stopped to think, she might have learned that Big Mac was taking all those burgers to the schoolhouse, where all the school ponies were. Instead, she followed Big Mac’s gaze and ran towards Diamond Tiara, who dropped her drink and ran towards a back alley. Pinkie Pie didn’t spot her, but she sure did make a spectacle of herself as she ran towards the direction Big Mac indicated.

“Where are you, Diamond Tiara?!” she roared at the top of her voice.

The next few minutes were quite exhausting. Diamond Tiara was quickly running out of places to avoid Pinkie, but she was enjoying the sound of her yelling like a maniac so much that she refused to surrender. Pinkie Pie was getting incredibly frustrated, as not only were there boot prints in the snow all over this area, but her cheap crown had fallen off her head.

“As Celestia is my witness, I will find you, Diamond Tiara!” Pinkie exploded.

She came close. Diamond Tiara had given Pinkie Pie the run-around for so long, she wasn’t really paying attention to where she was running and hiding anymore. She couldn’t find a place to completely conceal herself, and she was sure bursting into any buildings would be a mistake. She stopped to catch her breath, and had to stifle a gasp when she realised she’d come to a halt right behind Pinkie Pie, who was also standing still.

“If I stay right here and don’t move,” Pinkie breathed heavily, “she’ll show up. She’s got to.”

Nope, Diamond Tiara thought, doing her best not to breathe loudly.

They both stayed where they were for over half an hour. Pinkie Sense gave no indication of somepony standing right behind you, so Pinkie Pie had no idea that Diamond Tiara was mere inches away. It was cold outside, and they were both shivering. Pinkie’s teeth chattering drowned out the sound of Diamond’s. Despite the uncomfortable position she was in, the novelty hadn’t worn off for Diamond Tiara.

At last, Pinkie Pie gave up. “I can’t just stand around anymore!”

As soon as she took off, Diamond Tiara realised something. They’d been standing near the garbage bin she’d been hiding behind when Big Mac pointed her out. She hadn’t noticed because she was wearing boots, but Diamond Tiara had been standing in a puddle of cola, which she’d spilled herself. It had frozen solid in the half hour she’d been standing there; and Pinkie’s tail had also gotten stuck in it. Pinkie Pie’s tail stretched and stretched as she ran further from the garbage bin. The chunk of ice began to detach itself from the snowy ground.

The next thing Diamond Tiara knew, she was being dragged around town, sliding on a sheet of brown ice that was clinging to all four of her hooves.

“Pinkie! Stop!” she called.

By now, Pinkie Pie was so worked up that she wasn’t using her ears. She had no clue that she was giving the very filly she was looking for the ride of her life. Up ahead, Amber Aldis had stopped flying around as her wings were getting tired. She saw Pinkie Pie on the approach, and dragging Diamond Tiara behind her.

“Hey Pinkie, one of the school ponies is stuck to your tail!” she shouted.

Pinkie Pie heard and turned around. Diamond Tiara’s momentum made her slam right into Pinkie Pie’s open hooves.

“Diamond Tiara! I found you!” squealed Pinkie happily. “Finally!”

Diamond Tiara was too exhausted to try and break free from Pinkie’s bone-crushing hug.

“Any idea where the rest of your classmates are?” asked Amber.

Diamond sighed. “They’re at the schoolhouse.”

“But we looked there. All the windows were…”

“We were playing a board game in there,” explained Diamond Tiara. “I covered that window with my unfolded part.”

“Hey. Did you know we were looking for you and the other school ponies?” asked Amber.

“Yeah. I was playing a joke on Pinkie.”

Pinkie Pie let go of Diamond Tiara and glared at her.

“You scared the sprinkles outta me! What kinda joke was that?!”

“What? You liked that joke I played on you yesterday.”

“Yeah, but you carried this one too long,” said Pinkie. “A joke’s not funny if you take it too far. I was worried sick about you.”

“Oh,” Diamond Tiara blushed. “I didn’t realise. I’m sorry.”

“Well that’s just not good enough.”

Pinkie Pie yanked her tail from the ice and walked briskly away, pulling Amber Aldis with her.

“Hey, wait! I need help!” Diamond Tiara’s hooves were still stuck in the brown ice chunk.

Pinkie laughed and turned around. “I was joking. You see what I mean though, right?”

“Yeah, I do,” sighed Diamond Tiara, relieved that Pinkie was coming back to help her break the ice. “I’ll never take a joke too far again.”

Soon, Pinkie and Amber had broken the brown ice and freed Diamond Tiara.

“Oh, I found this on the ground,” Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled out Diamond Tiara’s crown.

“She won’t be needing that back,” said Amber. “She just said she’s done carrying jokes too far.”

Author's Note

I put this up today because there's no guarantee I'll have internet access on Saturday.