Author's Note
Hey guys, long time no see eh? Its been awhile since i released something so,..... here it is.
Just a experiment ive started to i can get the juices flowing and maybe i can get back on some of the fics i haven't updated in over a year.
i'm trying to write again and it hasn't been easy, i just hope this will do the trick.
I've been wanting to make a fallout crossover for a long time, but they where some of the worst fics ive ever written, so im a little nervous.
im going with a bit less descriptive writing style this time, let me know what you think of it.
anyway im just re leaved i finally got SOMETHING OUT. i hope you enjoy.
in any case its feels good to be back.
this story is just gonna be a cute romp full of wisecracks and scooby doo esq mischief so if your looking for a dark gritty crime noire or a drama with hidden themes and a soul searching inner moral
i'm,.....i'm so sorry.
-HWB.
On the case.
Princess Celestia’s hooves softly clopped against the empty dining hall of the royal castle in canterlot. Swiftly, making sure she was not followed Celestia ducked through the swinging doors into the kitchen. To the Princess’s relief the kitchen was also empty. A little bit more lax knowing that she was completely alone the Princess went into the pantry. Keeping her usual regal poise amongst the fresh produce Celestia came to the far wall. It was a plain wall of varnished wood. Something anypony else would simply disregard, pay no attention too. All this is what Princess Celestia counted on.
With a firm push with one hoof she moved a sack of potatoes aside revealing a metal panel. The panel itself was not like the wall in every way imaginable, Anypony could spot it. In fact if they didn't they would have to be completely daft, or blind, And in the case of the blind pony i'm sure any seeing eye dog worth it's salt would compensate.
Luckily Celestia wasn't blind, or thick headed, as she noticed the panel right away. The panel was made of cold steel. It had a small pane of glass about as big as a hoofprint on the bottom. In the middle where four lights in a 2x2 square, the left 2 lights lit a bright red, while the right 2 lights were off and showed no color at all. At the top sat a crystal, it was tall and expertly cut, it was also clear as purified water.
Celestia lifted her hoof and placed it on the pane of glass, the glass emitted a hum and a flash of a light blue light before emitting a *Ding! causing one red light to go out, and one of the dim lights to show a bright green. The Princess then charged up her horn, nothing specific, just enough energy to throw around. Soon the crystal at the top began to glow with a regal light pink light. The same shade as Celestia's magical energy.
A *ding! rang from the panel as the final red light went out, and the final dim light went bright green. After about a second of wasting a huge mechanical rumble filled the room. It sounded the a garbage truck falling off the empire state building, followed by a Military tank running over a huge pile of kinked bicycle chains.
Then, seemingly all at once, the noise stopped. with a hiss and a screech the whole section of wall that the panel clinged too was not a wall at all, but a door. The wall,...err I mean door revealed a medium sized, white, stylized room. Within it sat a small table with a bright spotlight illuminating it. On the table sat a white covered pastry dish. not unlike anyone mom would use to keep the foals from running their hooves over the chocolate frosting for her father’s birthday cake.
But what was under that cake was no father’s birthday cake, infact i'm pretty sure that any cake ever served to any Father, no matter how much he was loved by his family paled in comparison to the piece of culinary confection the laid behind so much security put in place by so many members of the royal family.
It was none other than the royal, Gold trimmed, Cream filled, Tripled Layered Devil Pastry Cake of the Royal Family. Royal cooks have passed down the recipe for over 2000 years, it was said that it was first conceived to cure the population of equestria from a wave of depression. at first it failed due to the complexity of the cake making it impossible to distribute to the populace, but with one bite, the ruling member of the family had enough joy to lift the depression all on his own.
Celestia rubbed her hooves together with glee, and prancing like a school filly with a deep crush approached the cake dish. The Princess had been looking forward to this for a whole month, as that was the only time she allowed the cake. More would set even her immortal body aflame with pure uncondensed diabetes.
With a watering mouth and a set of bedroom eyes that would have made the biggest filly player blush she daintily lifted the lid of the cake dish with her magic.
*CRASH
the ceramic lid of the cake dish shattered against the marble flooring of the hidden room. Celestia stood there, Wide eyed and rigid with disbelieve. Staring intensely at the small steel table. The only thing sitting upon it. Was a single crumb, with its moistness glistening in the spotlight.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Nick Valentine was many things, a Synth, a Handy”Man”, but first and foremost he was a Detective. It was his pride in this title that drove him with a passion, he was determined to solve as case that had haunted him for years.
Nick sat at his rusty, dented, metal desk, in the moldy room of “Valentine's Detective Agency” with file in his mismatched hands. (One synthetic, the other mechanical.) The file was a accumulation of information on a single person in the commonwealth. A “mysterious stranger” considered a martyr of sorts by some who were lucky enough to see him (like Nick on many outings with his closest friend, a vault dweller who was the “Sole survivor” of their vault.) But to Nick, he was a hero in the face justice, And Nick would not stand for it.
There were bigger Criminals in the Commonwealth sure, But to Nick it had become a battle of wits more than anything else. Above all Nick just wanted to know his name, what he was doing, what he was fighting for. It was a Detective's job to find answers, and the mysterious Stranger was the perfect test for his skill.
Nick took a sighful drag from his cigarette, He lifted his white, stained fiberglass eyes with piercing yellow neon pupils and found a young woman typing away on the typewriter.
Nick lifted a eyebrow, Nick was so absorbed in his research He didn't even remember Ellie walking in this morning.
“Hey Ellie? Could you give me what we got on The Slog? I think I left a report in that file of a little old ghoul lady who the stranger just north of there.” Nick asked, then returned to the file.
“Right away chief,” Is what Nick expected to hear. But Ellie didn't say a word.
Nick leaned to the right, he eyed Ellie.
“Ellie? ya hear me?” Nicked asked.
Ellie just sat there, her hands hovering over the keys of the typewriter. Nick put down his file and stood up, Nick walked over to Ellie and extended his synthetic hand.
“Ellie? you feeling alright?” Nick gave her a quick tap, she felt solid as a rock.
“What the- “ Nick grabbed her shoulder and pulled, Ellie stayed firm in place. nick put a foot against Ellie’s desk and pryed.
“Hello?” said a soft, regal voice.
With a yelp Nick lost his grip and fell flat on his back. Nick quickly rolled over on the ground and recovered, Nick drew his weapon, A Long 44. with a ported barrel (a memento from his vault friend).
“Who said that?” Nick said, pointing his weapon every which way, looking for the source of the voice.
“Don't be afraid,....I Am Princess Luna,” The voice said.
“A Princess? I have gone mad, Where are you? are you from the institute?” Nick retorted.
“I Am not of this world, I Am simply communication with you through the veil of reality.”
“Yeah listen lady, I don’t mean any disrespect to royalty, but if you're a Real princess. I'm a Queen Radroach.”
“Radroach? thats hardly a regal name.”
“They aren’t very regal in person anyway,....Wait! no! this is just some trick by the institute to reel me in! listen! I stopped being your pupped the day my Fiberglass-ass landed in your trash pile!”
“Given the circumstances I certainly hope you didn’t come from our trash pile, we don’t even have one, it's more of a trash pit, Anyway, we are looking for a great example of justice! a finder of criminals! One that can deduce from simple evidence and deliver a quick and just,....”
“A Detective?” Nick interrupted, in an effort to stop Princess Luna’s shouting.
“Yes, yes we are, *ahem, have we found one?” Luna answered, regaining some of her poise.
Nick eyed the bright pink neon sign the read “Valentine Detective Agency”
“Of sorts yes, only on my days off, any other day I just listen to kids come to me about lost teddy bears and local bullies,......wait,....what exactly, are you trying to pull?”
“Nothing! well,....except you, from your universe, and into ours, BUT DON'T WORRY! it won’t hurt, and we would be able to restore you once your finished helping us.”
“I dunno, this whole thing reeks.”
“Please help us sir! A great crime had been committed against the royal family! Our security has been breached! We have scoured the multitude of universes for one with your skills, if you refuse it could take until the end of time before we find another
There it was, a Genuine cry for help, it triggered something deep inside Nick’s mind. Sometimes Nick had thoughts or instincts that were not entirely his own, all of these stemmed from Nick, Not the synth Nick, but the brain he came packaged with his body. The Downloaded memories that once belonged to a Pre-war cop also named Nick Valentine. Now Pre-War Nick told Current Nick that the voice could be trusted and above all, was in true need of his help.
Nick put away his weapon and nervously shuffled his feet.
“I’ll Do it.”
Princess Luna went silent.
“Sooo,...do we shake hands or,....”
“One moment please.”
“Oh ok, so how does this-”
Nick sentence was cut off in a blinding flash.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Nick stood awkwardly across the room from the two royal sisters, both started at each other while the room was deathly silent. Nick, held a notepad, intend on writing down clues. If the sisters ever bothered to tell him any.
The trio stood in the room where the cake had been stolen, Nick cleared his throat, (Something he didn't really need to so, but his human emulation protocols told Nick that it would break the silence)
“Did the victim have any obvious enemies? One with a known sweet tooth?”
Luna spoke up “The victim was a cake, I'm sure cakes don’t make many enemies.”
“Well, I’m sure the countless victims of heart disease count. But I was talking about you and your sister.”
“We are the leaders of a nation Mr.Valentine, We have countless enemies.” Celestia said.
“Well in that case we’ll have to narrow it down, Whoever did this was someone with status, and Obviously wanted more.”
“How do you figure?”
“Well, from what you told me this cake was under some serious lock and key, too much trouble for anyone who was just hungry, and you said that the recipe was well documented. Meaning anyone could duplicate it. I.E. someone wanted to get at you, and wanted to show you that they could get through even your heaviest security.”
“So what you're saying Mr.Valentine is whoever did this? Will strike again?” Celestia asked, a bit worried with the idea.
“Please, we aren't that polite in the commonwealth, call me Nick, and yes it's a certainty, and I think they will take something a little bit more important than a cake.”
“So what should we do Mr.Valentine?”
“For now I’ll sweep for clues, you two should so and add more security measures to the nation's secrets, or better yet, just burn them. We need to find this guy and fast.”
“Ok, Dear Sister, you stay with Valentine and help him with whatever he may need, I need to go over both of our browser history.” Celestia said, then dashed off out the cake rooms heavy steel door.”
Luna calmy walked over to Nick, who was carefully examining the small table in the center of the room.
“So, what's first?” Luna asked with a hint of enthusiasm.
“While we are here, I might as well dust for prints, kill the lights will ya?”
Luna activated her horn, killing the lights in the room. Nick pulled out a small vial with a spray top, he press down on the cap, spraying the table and most of the surrounding floor. Nick put the vial away and blinked. His eyes went from a bright piercing yellow, to a bright sharp purple, Nick illuminated the floor, until he came across a series of shapes leading up to the table.
“What the?” Nick asked himself, he looked back to luna, shining the UV light into her eyes before moving it down to her legs.
‘Ah shit, Hoofprints.” Nick blinked again, restoring his eyes to their normal color.
Luna turned the back on.
“Whats wrong?”
“I was looking for fingerprints, i have a slight oversight.”
“What's that?”
“You guys don’t have fingers.” Nick sighed. “Well it gives us something, I measured them so we can reference them later. You guys got a police station?”
“Yes, it's just down main street.”
“Good, we should go down there and cross reference the info we got, Maybe Princess, if we put our heads together we can come up with some suspects.”
“Walk down main street in the capital of equestria with a being of another world? how exciting!”
“You think that's exciting? wait until we actually start solving a crime Princess.”
“We? As in us? You want to solve the crime together?”
“I thought that was the idea when your sister left you here, I've had worst partners, and even the best ones weren't royalty.”
“The let us go forth! PARTNER! For JUSTICE!” Luna grabbed the waist belt of Nicks trench coat and pulled him out of the door, Stumbling and clinging desperately to his hat.
