Periodic Ponies

by Indigo Steel

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike
Length: 6699

A series of short pony stories based on the periodic table of elements. Inspired by Estee's "The Elements of Elements."

Inspired by Estee's "The Elements of Elements." An anthology of short pony stories related to elements from the periodic table. Read and Enjoy!

Published 2016-02-05 00:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-01-19 03:59:47 UTC

Iron

Twilight laid a hoof on Spike as they sat in the waiting room of the Ponyville Hospital. "How are you, Spike?"

Spike looked at Twilight, bleary-eyed. "Head still hurts...so dizzy..."

He was slumped back in the waiting room chair, looking half-asleep. Twilight's worry for her Draconic friend and assistant grew with every moment. She should have done something sooner, back when she first noticed his lethargy. She thought it was just a Dragon thing, a symptom of puberty alongside his recent growth spurt. Later came the bouts of weakness, occasional headaches and dizzyness, which they both thought was a sign of overwork. Despite resting for a day or two, he only seemed to get worse. When the headaches and dizzyness wouldn't go away and Spike's scales started looking pale, Twilight decided it was time to take him to the hospital.

Finally, Nurse Redheart called Spike's name, and the two of them followed her out of the waiting room. After the usual initial weight, temperature and blood pressure readings were taken, and Spike's relevant medical information was confirmed or updated, the Nurse left, the Doctor entering a few minutes later. Doctor House Call was a middle aged stallion, with a wavy brown mane peppered with gray, and stubble long enough to be called the beginning of a beard, likewise about to go from brown to gray. He had a coat of white with brown spots, His cutie mark showed a stethoscope with a question mark overlapping it. As usual, he had a perpetual scowl of annoyance. He walked in with his usual limp, one foreleg wrapped around the cane that he leaned on.

"Your Majesty." He spoke in a neutral tone laced with sarcasm. "Forgive me if I don't kneel, the leg's not what it used to be."

Ignoring House's snark, Twilight explained the situation and Spike's symptoms, while House nonchalantly looked the Dragon over. Finally, after Twilight finished her description of Spike's symptoms, House sighed. "Feed him some chunks of iron and he'll be fine."

At this, House turned to leave, but Twilight said after him, "Wait, what?"

House sighed again, and turned to face Twilight. "Iron. 26th element of the periodic table, notable component found in blood. Too much of it, you die. Too little of it, you die. in his case..." he motioned to Spike, "It's the latter."

Again, House prepared to leave, but again, Twilight spoke, "I don't understand, Doctor...why does he have an iron deficiency?"

House retorted, "Because he's a Dragon, and I'm guessing you're feeding him like a Pony."

Twilight scowled, offended. "I DO feed him like a Dragon! He eats gems and a high protein diet..."

"And I'm sure it worked just fine when he was a child." House interrupted, "But judging from his lanky appearance, I'm assuming he's just hit a growth spurt. Meaning larger size and changing body chemistry...meaning he needs to be fed differently."

He pointed to Spike's mouth. "Here's a hint: Those fangs aren't just there to make him look scary."

Twilight fumed at House, but managed to keep her patience, as she knew he was right, and she berated herself internally for not seeing it earlier. "Fine...but why chunks of metal?"

"He needs a lot of iron quickly." House answered, "If Dragons can chew diamonds, then digesting metal's a breeze."

Twilight nodded. "Thank you, Doctor." She said, despite herself. House merely limped off, muttering some lament about "Clinic Duty."

Two hours later, Spike managed to swallow the last of another piece of pig iron that used to be one of their cooking skillets. Afterwards, Twilight gently led Spike to his room in their crystalline castle home by allowing him to lean on her while also supporting him with her magic. She helped him to get into his bed, nuzzling him.

"Just rest, Spike." Twilight said with a warm smile, "We'll just feed you lots of iron like the Doctor said. You'll be just fine."

Spike smiled back and nodded. Twilight draped a blanket over him gently with her magic and kissed him on the cheek. "I love you, Spike."

"I love you too, Twilight." Spike said, yawning. Not wanting to leave the side of her LBBFF (Little Brother Best Friend Forever), the Alicorn Princess climbed into Spike's bed, snuggling close to him.

After two days of a steady high iron diet from both ferrous metal utensils and whatever ore rich rocks could be found, Spike was finally looking as healthy as ever, his scales back to their normal color. He picked up a shaker of rust flakes, dashing them onto his spaghetti like a spice.

"The meat supply from Griffonstone should arrive tomorrow, Spike." Twilight spoke, before slurping up her noodles.

"Good thing, too..." Spike said, "Iron's fine as a garnish, but by itself, yeeeuuchh! And they really need to rename Pig Iron, it doesn't taste a thing like pork!"

Twilight laughed.

Silver

Fluttershy breathed a content sigh before taking another sip of tea. Having no other obligations, She had decided on a whim to take some tea and cucumber sandwiches into Whitetail Woods to enjoy the beautiful spring day in quiet solitude. The sun was pleasant and a warm breeze caressed her hair. She listened with a smile as bird songs serenaded her while she ate one of her sandwiches.

After finishing most of her meal, she had been considering taking a nap, when a rustling of bushes in the distance got her attention.

"Eep!" She squeaked in surprise.

"Yip!" Came a response from the bushes.

Fluttershy's initial fear was quickly replaced with confusion as she furrowed her brow. It had sounded like an animal. "H-Hello?" The timid Pegasus called out. Slowly, a nose poked out of the bushes, followed by a head...a fox's head, to be precise. Fluttershy gasped. This was not just any fox she was seeing, but a genuine Silver Fox! It was sniffing the air as it cautiously walked into the open, it's fur gleaming brightly in the sun.

Fluttershy had never seen anything so stunning. As the animal's name implied, it's fur was actual silver! Slowly it walked closer to Fluttershy, eyeing what was left of her sandwiches, it's hunger slowly winning over it's apprehension.

As it's eyes went back and forth from the Pegasus to her leftovers, she giggled, "Oh, of course you can have some!" She pushed the platter of sandwiches closer to it. "Don't eat too many, though...you're mostly a carnivore, after all."

The fox ate only one of the sandwiches, then stopped as Fluttershy suggested. Suddenly, it's ears perked up, and it quickly dashed back into the nearby bushes. Fluttershy was taken aback by this, before finally hearing several hoof beats approaching her. She got to her feet and saw a trio of rough-looking ponies approach.

The first one, a brown Earth Pony stallion with a black mane, tail and facial stubble, straightened his tan vest and tipped his tan wide-brimmed hat. "Don't mind us, Miss, we're just passing through." His prominent accent marked him as being Austailian.

Another of the trio, a gold Unicorn mare with a white mane and tail and a similar vest but no hat, spoke up, "Found it!" She pointed her glowing white horn towards the bushes. "It's over there!"

"I'll get it!" The final pony said, preparing to pounce on the bushes; this one a navy blue Pegasus stallion with a light blue mane and tail, wearing a necklace of what appeared to be various animal fangs that made Fluttershy cringe. What made her even more wary were the cutie marks the trio had: An animal cage for the Austailian pony, a set of animal tracks for the mare, and a collar with leash for the blue stallion.

Before any of them could move, Fluttershy shouted, "NO!"

The trio looked at Fluttershy, who spoke, "E-Excuse me...are you after that Silver Fox, by any chance?"

The trio looked at each other with mild alarm, before the Austailian pony responded with a disarming smile, "As a matter of fact, we are, Miss. The Manehattan Zoo has contracted us to find a Silver Fox for their enclosure."

Fluttershy sighed, trying to steel herself for what was next. "The Manehattan Zoo doesn't have any Silver Foxes...nor are they allowed to, as Silver Foxes are Rare Creatures, protected under Equestrian law. They can only be legally brought to a specialized nature preserve near Canterlot, run by the Equestrian Society for the Preservation of Rare Creatures. As a full member in good standing, I intend to do just that."

The Austailian scowled. "That animal's pure silver coat will be worth a fortune. I'd offer you a cut for staying out of our way, but I get the feeling you're not interested. So I tell you what: Leave, or we hunt you next."

Fluttershy held her ground, meeting the pony's glare. "How dare you threaten me! I am an Element of Harmony, and a friend of Princess Twilight Sparkle herself!"

A growl nearby revealed the arrival of a large brown bear. Multiple hawks, eagles, owls, and other raptors landed nearby as well, making a show of gripping their chosen perches with razor talons.

"I also have other friends." Fluttershy spoke.

"Big deal!" The blue pony said, "We're professional hunters, your menagerie doesn't scare us! Now hand over the fox!"

Fluttershy's gaze changed then. All of a sudden, her eyes commanded respect and fear. The trio cringed beneath the power of The Stare.

"I...said...NO!!"

The three poachers scrambled to run away from this final onslaught.

As soon as they were far enough away, however, Fluttershy collapsed onto her haunches, trembling violently and trying to hyperventilate, having just went through one of the most terrifying experiences in her life. Her animal entourage was quick to surround her; offering caws of encouragement, comforting wings draped over her shoulders, and in the case of the bear, a hug. Finally, the Silver Fox came out of it's hiding place, it's silver coat shimmering in the light. It gave Fluttershy a lick on her cheek and a nuzzle. Fluttershy smiled, the fox's gratitude making it all worth it.

Lead

"This is so exciting!" Twilight Sparkle shouted in said excitement. "I can't believe we've found one of Meadowbrook's Eight Enchanted Items!"

They had indeed found one of the legendary items, and in one of the unlikeliest of places...a old chest in the attic of Applejack's home at Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack, curious about the old family heirloom and the stories she'd heard about it being magical, had taken it to Twilight to examine it, coming to the current conclusion after a day or so of studying and researching the item.

Applejack commented, "Doesn't look like much, does it?" She shrugged, "Then again, ah ain't a magic expert."

The item in question was a circle of metal, a bracelet that could be worn on either a forearm or hind leg. It was very simplistic; no runes or gems, just solid metal...lead, to be specific.

"It actually makes perfect sense." Twilight said, "Lead is commonly used in the practice of alchemy, especially for transmutation."

"Trans-what now?" Applejack asked, raising and eyebrow.

"Trans-mu-tation." Twilight enunciated, "Turning one thing into something else...one standard transmutation spell involves turning lead into gold, because they're so similar in weight and density."

Twilight ran a hoof over the simplistic circlet that sat inert on a table, "The reason it's so simple looking is because the magic effect it has was mixed right into the metal as it was smelted and forged, via potion, draught, or other concoction with magical properties."

"Huh." Applejack responded. "So...what's it do?"

Twilight beamed. "It does only one thing...but, to quote Pinkie Pie, it's a doozy! Watch!"

The Alicorn Princess slid the lead bracelet onto her forearm, A mild sound and a brief vibration being the only outward telltale signs of the object working. She walked over to a massive crate of books recently arrived from Canterlot that was roughly four times her size. With one arm, she effortlessly lifted the entire crate!

"WHOA, NELLY!" Applejack shouted in absolute surprise. "Yer stronger'n a Longhorn Bull Elephant!"

Twilight giggled as she gently put the crate back down. "Isn't it great?"

Applejack grinned. "It surely is! So where should we keep it?"

Twilight removed the bracelet and handed it out to the farm pony. "Well, it IS rightfully yours, AJ. I recommend that you keep it someplace safe, okay? Oh! and also don't forget to wash your hooves thoroughly after touching it...magi and scholars at that time weren't aware of how poisonous lead could be when ingested or inhaled!"

Applejack took the bracelet with a nod. "Ah surely will. Thanks for your help, Twi."

"Anytime." Twilight replied.

*************

Big Macintosh could only sit on his haunches, mouth agape and absolutely dumbstruck by the sight of his sister pulling not one, not two, not three, but FOUR carts piled high with baskets of apples, connected together like train cars. Apple Bloom rode on one of the carts, cheering her sister on. Granny Smith shook her head with a grimace. "Don't ya go hog wild now, Applejack! That there bracelet ain't a toy!"

Granny's warning fell on deaf ears. Applejack was ecstatic! She had never felt lighter on her hooves, and her chores had never been easier. She felt like she could bend steel and change the course of a river!

*************

Oh, how Applejack wished she had listened to Granny Smith. She could only sit there in the tub, weak as a kitten! EVERY muscle in her body ached, the hot water of the tub mercifully providing some relief.

The door creaked open, and Twilight peeked her head in. "Applejack?" She said, walking over to the tub with a concerned expression. "How are you feeling?"

"Like ah been rode hard, put away wet, and beaten like a dead horse." Applejack groaned.

Twilight produced a pair of tablets, dropping them into the bath water. "These should help." She then placed two tubes of cream on the sink nearby. "These too, after you're out of the tub." She sighed, "I'm so sorry this happened, AJ. I forgot to tell you that alchemy can be a 'give and take' kind of magic. The bracelet is only good for a few minutes before it starts taking a toll on the wielder."

The farmer responded, "It's all right, Twi. Besides, Granny Smith DID warn me...turns out ah weren't the only Apple to use that thing, and it got put away for a reason. So in th' end, ah only got m'self to blame."

After a moment's silence, Twilight asked, "Would you like help out of the tub?"

"Please." AJ said, "My whole body feels like it's made of lead."

Hydrogen

“FIRE AT WILL!!” Commodore Sure Shot bellowed into a megaphone interconnected throughout his zeppelin, the Morning Glory. In immediate response, a blaze of magical bolts fired from the airship to counter the approaching aircraft, a squadron of biplanes piloted by Crystal Ponies with helmets modified to look more aerodynamic and with larger eye holes. From glowing crystals mounted on the fronts of the biplanes, beams of white light returned fire. The initial blasts were deflected by magic shielding provided by Unicorn crew members on the airship.

“ATTACK!” Captain Spitfire shouted, her Wonderbolt squadron launching themselves from the Morning Glory’s deck to attack the biplanes. In response, they were met by other Crystal Ponies wearing armor with powered wings who fought them in mid-air. In the thick of the fight, Lieutenant Rainbow Dash and her opponent flew around each other; striking, kicking, grappling, or colliding. Rainbow finally had the upper hoof, her metal wing working as an effective bludgeon to knock out a crucial part of her opponent’s wing mechanism. While three biplanes were shot down, the zeppelin took multiple hits as well, the Unicorns wielding the shield magic clearly straining against the onslaught.

“Closing on target, sir!” Commander Twenty Twenty reported, the Earth Pony mare looking through a pair of binoculars, “Approximately one kilometer ahead!”

“Prepare for drop!” Sure Shot replied.

As the airship got closer, the Unicorns maintaining the shielding finally gave out, sweating, panting and one even collapsing. The ship took multiple hits, with many areas catching flame. Sure Shot kept his composure as his position demanded of him, despite knowing full well that his ship was on fire...a ship that stayed airborne in part due to segmented gasbags filled with Hydrogen, a gas that was highly combustible!

The target could be seen without binoculars now: A mining facility, one of many belonging to Sombra and his Crystal Empire that’s opposed Equestria in a terrible war for years. To destroy this target would be one less facility mining the metals, gems and crystals that fueled Sombra’s war machine; and one more victory for Equestria.

A flaming biplane barely missed the zeppelin, causing brief turbulence. Sure Shot let out a breath of relief. At long last, Twenty Twenty’s voice shouted, “We're over the target!”

“BOMBS AWAY!” The Commodore shouted into his megaphone. As commanded, several hatches in the bottom of the airship opened, dropping several metal-encased objects. The chain of explosions laid waste to the facility as the zeppelin flew overhead!

“Target destroyed!” Twenty Twenty shouted, followed by cheers from everypony in range of her voice. Sure Shot allowed himself a satisfied nod. Looking around, he saw that their attackers were beginning to thin out. Captain Spitfire, her armor damaged and herself looking a bit worse for wear, landed nearby with Rainbow Dash at her side. Both walked up to Sure Shot and gave sharp salutes. Once the Commodore promptly returned the salute, Spitfire reported, “We've almost got ‘ em all, sir. Just give us a few more minutes to wrap it up.”

“Casualties?” Sure Shot asked.

Spitfire and Rainbow both dipped their heads a bit, then made eye contact one more. “We lost a few, sir...no exact numbers yet, sir.” Spitfire spoke.

Sure Shot nodded. “Thank you, Captain, Carry on.”

“Aye aye, sir!” Spitfire said, before both Pegasi left the bridge to take wing once more.

Sure Shot sighed, hoping as everyone else did that this war with Sombra would end soon. Now was not the time to lament, however, as he still had work to do. “Bring us about and plot a course back to base.” He spoke, “And for Celestia's sake, put out those fires!”

Potassium

"You did great today, Scoots!" Rainbow Dash complemented.

Scootaloo beamed in response to her idol's praise. "Thanks, Rainbow! Same time tomorrow?"

"You bet!" Rainbow replied with a smile, "Remember to stick to your diet, okay?"

Scootaloo grimaced slightly. "I hope I don't have to stick to that diet forever. I'm getting kinda tired of eating so much soy, rice and bananas."

Rainbow smiled sympathetically. "You'll be able to eat less of it eventually, but for now you need high protein to help build your muscles. The rice provides a healthy amount of carbohydrates to keep your energy up while you're working out."

Scootaloo looked thoughtful for a moment before asking, "So....what do the bananas do?"

"Potassium!" Rainbow answered, "Bananas are full of it!"

"Potassium?" The young filly probed further.

"Yep!" The older Pegasus responded, "It's something that helps to prevent muscle cramps! As much as we're working out, you need it.”

The cyan Pegasus lifted off the ground into a hover. “Okay, kiddo, I'll see you tomorrow!”

Scootaloo nodded, then started buzzing her wings. She began floating in the air, actually maintaining significant time suspended as she made her way over to her scooter several feet away. She landed softly, wiping a bit of sweat from,her brow, but grinning from ear to ear. She was a bit sore, but not nearly as much as she was when she first began training with her rainbow-maned idol. She’d come a long way, but still had a long way to go. She resolved long ago that she’d get there eventually, and nothing would stop her!

What would be next for her? The Young Flyers’ Competition? The Wonderbolts? The imagination and ambition of the young pegasus soared, as she herself would do someday.

Helium

Pinkie Pie trotted past the guards with the usual spring in her step as she approached the throne of Princess Celestia herself. The Princess sat upon her throne, her poise regal as ever, her eyes closed and smile serene as she enjoyed the rare, beautiful moments of peace and and quiet that came from a Solar Court that was actually empty of bureaucrats and nobility, at least for the moment.

She opened her eyes to the sound of Pinkie's hoofsteps, her smile widening to a grin. Pinkie bounced in, stopping momentarily to bow, as was proper etiquette.

"Hello, Pinkie Pie!" Celestia said, "Always a pleasure! I assume you're here to bolster your supply?”

“You betcha!” Pinkie replied, her voice as cheerful as ever.

With a nod, Celestia walked out of the throne room, Pinkie skipping after her. Eventually, the two of them came to a store room, where Celestia magically opened a door lock to reveal several canisters of helium. The helium had been procured by Celestia herself, one of the lesser known perks of being a Princess of the Sun.

Pinkie grinned an impossible grin. “Thanks a super duper lot, Princess!” Pinkie said in gratitude, before reaching into her hair and pulling out a cake-sized box. “Here you go, one Quintuple Choco Brownie Cookie Cream Cake!” She leaned in closer, adding in a conspiratory manner, “With my special Mint Marzipan frosting!”

Celestia beamed, taking the cake in her magic. “Thank you, Pinkie, I always enjoy your cakes!”

**************

Later that night, in her dreams, Pinkie Pie received a visitation from none other than Princess Luna.

“Wow, two Princesses in one day?” Pinkie said excitedly.

Luna smiled. “Good evening, Miss Pie. I managed to get a taste of a cake that you baked for my sister, one of several delicious and unique confections you trade to her on a regular basis in exchange for a certain lighter-than-air gas...”

“That’s right!” Pinkie said.

“I should like to make a similar deal, if I may?”

“I’d love to, your majesty!” Pinkie said excitedly, before deflating a bit, “Oh, but, ummm...I already get all the helium I need from Princess Celestia.”

“Indeed.” Luna confirmed with a nod, “I offer something different from my domain, though…” She leaned in closer to Pinkie, and asked, “Have you ever heard of helium three?”

Argon

Flim and Flam kept their smiles, despite being very nervous; for they now stood before the monarch of all Equestria: Nightmare Moon.

“Your audience is hereby granted.” Spoke the dark Alicorn. “For five minutes.” She added with narrow eyes; the Princess of Eternal Night knew the reputation that followed these two, and looked at them with suspicion. Flim and Flam gulped simultaneously.

Flim spoke first, “Your Excellency, it is no great secret that one of the challenges we face as a nation is sufficient food for all!”

Flam continued, “However, as of late, farms have had difficulty growing sufficient crops due to lack of a certain...photosynthetic requirement.”

Nightmare Moon’s scowl deepened. Being far from a fool, she knew exactly what they were referring to; the lack of sunlight was causing plants to either yield meager harvests or none at all. Celestia’s accursed orb, it seemed, was enacting a slow vengeance for it’s permanent departure. The finest scholars and magi in Equestria, despite making progress, had yet to grant the Night Princess the results she desired. Fortunately, for now at least, the people were fed well enough and remained pacified...one way or another.

“We, however, have come up with a solution!” Flim stated.

“Indeed!” Flam spoke, “We give you…”

In unison they pulled off a silk cloth to reveal a tube of glass set up in an elongated lamp suspended over a short row of plants.

Nightmare Moon raised an eyebrow. “A light bulb? THAT’S your solution?”

“N-No ordinary light bulbs, Your Majesty!” Flim quickly stammered, a trickle of sweat forming on his brow.

“This is no mere incandescent bulb…” Flam explained quickly, “Rather, it’s a new kind of light my brother and I have dubbed ‘Flourescence!’” He flipped a switch on the lamp, causing it to flicker a bit before humming to life, glowing brighter than any bulb yet developed. Prepared for this, the Flim-Flam brothers put on sunglasses, a thing considered mostly useless in this night and age. Meanwhile, the guards and staff nearby found themselves squinting uncomfortably or looking away.

Nightmare Moon, admittedly, was intrigued. “How does it work?” She asked.

Flim motioned to the long cylindrical bulb. “This airtight bulb contains a common noble gas known as Argon...typically as invisible as many gasses.”

Flam interjected, “However, when an electric current is run through the bulb, it excites the Argon gas to produce ultraviolet light that causes a coating of phosphor inside the light tube to glow!”

Both brothers then chimed, “VOILA!”

“Better light!” Said Flim.

“Better crops! Spoke Flam.

“No sun required!” Both Flim and Flam choroused, “A noble gas for a noble cause!”

Nightmare Moon placed a hoof on her chin, stroking it in thought for a solid minute, before she finally smiled. “Whatever you need to mass produce these Argon lamps shall be provided. Congratulations, gentlestallions, you're both about to be quite noteworthy...and quite wealthy, I might add.”

Flim and Flam grinned brighter than their lamp.

Arsenic

“FASTER!” Fluttershy shouted, “We're almost there!”

In another life, Fluttershy might have been a more reserved and introverted mare. In this life, however, she flew quickly through the thick and ever-growing vegetation of the Everfree Forest; her friend Pinkie Pie bounding along behind her with all the power and grace of a gazelle from Zebrica. Their pursuers were a squad of changelings, buzzing maliciously. For years now, they lived with other ponies in secret, mounting whatever resistance they could against the forces of Queen Chrysalis, who had long ago conquered most of Equestria.

“They're gaining on us!” Pinkie shouted, “Gimmie a boost!”

Fluttershy knew precisely what to do, catching Pinkie Pie as the earth pony leapt into her embrace. Quickly, Pinkie pulled out an almost comical-looking device: A spraying device with a plunger handle on one end and a sideways canister near the spray nozzle. A warning in bold print could be seen on the device: WARNING-ARSENIC-POISONOUS!

Both ponies took a deep breath and held it, as Fluttershy turned in mid-air to face the oncoming changelings while hovering backwards as fast as she could. Pinkie pulled back the plunger, then pushed, swiftly repeating the process multiple times as a chemical spritzed out of the sprayer like a semi-mist. Many changelings couldn't avoid the chemical, beginning to crash into the ground, coughing and choking. The other changelings, fearing the chemical weapon, broke off pursuit.

Fluttershy dropped Pinkie, and the two moved farther away before gasping for air once more, just in case; after all, Arsenic was very poisonous. The irony of the chemical formerly being used as an insecticide was not lost on the ponies; in fact that’s why it was being used as a weapon in the resistance. Still, despite the advantages of using Arsenic against the changelings, such chemical warfare was a double-edged sword for the same reason pony farmers stopped using Arsenic on their crops...the element’s unfailing ability to poison ponies and other animals as well as insects.

As the pegasus and earth pony concluded that they weren't being followed any longer, the two of them slowed to a walk, using the enchanted tribal markings on their bodies as added camouflage; which, admittedly, worked as well as it could for a pair of bright pastel-colored ponies against the lush green and brown backdrop of the Everfree. The markings weren't just there for show; rather, they made the two of them stand out as their true selves rather than changeling pretenders...the enchantment of the markings able to reveal if one was a changeling or not.

Just as Pinkie and Fluttershy were about to reach the village, they heard a stallion’s voice croak out, “Help...help me…”

The two ponies looked suspiciously, Pinkie quickly drawing the sprayer once again, as a pegasus landed hard in front of them, his wings having given out. His blue hair was disheveled, his orange coat filthy with dirt and plant stains from the forest.

“Who are you?” Fluttershy asked with narrow eyes and venom in her voice.

“F-Flash…” the seemingly exhausted pegasus responded, “My name...Flash Sentry.”

Pinkie inched closer. “Okay, ‘Flash,’ IF that is your name...do us a favor and BUZZ OFF!”

She sprayed a blast of the arsenic pesticide at “Flash,” causing him to leap to his hooves, coughing...and transforming into a changeling. He flew away quickly, still coughing.

The two ponies returned to the village, greeted by many of the others there painted with similar tribal patterns...including a familiar pegasus with blue hair and an orange coat. “Hey, Fluttershy! Hey Pinkie!”

“Hey, Flash.” The two mares replied politely. Pinkie then commented with a smile, “For a race dedicated to deception and spying, the changelings have really bad intel.”

“Nobuggy’s perfect.” Fluttershy replied with a wink.

Gold

“Thanks again for helping me with this recipe, cousin Gustav.” Gilda said with genuine gratitude.

“It iz mah pleasure, ma cherie!” The Prench gryphon Gustav LeGrande replied with a proud smile, “This iz one of mah more ingenious creations...simple, yet spectacular!”

A third gryphon then flew in front of the other two, a plank of wood under one arm and a hammer and nails in her opposite claw. “Okay, I’ve finished setting up the signs!” Gabby said with her usual exuberance, “Just one more!”

She hovered to the top of Gilda’s pastry stand, setting up a sign which read, “GOLD BARS, 1 BIT EACH.”

The “gold bars” in question were, in fact, small sponge cakes with a banana cream filling, each one encased in a fondant formulated to resemble the metallic color of it’s namesake. There was no doubt in anygriffon’s mind how well they would sell, and not just because of the powerful drive of any griffon to seek out gold!

The quality and amount of ingredients used to make the small cakes made them more expensive than their current price, but that wasn't the point. This was a special product sale reserved for the Friendship Summit that was about to take place in Griffonstone; Gustav and Gabby were donating their time, skills and resources to help Gilda. As well as the local griffons, many visiting dignitaries were also waiting in line early, eager to try these delicious new treats...the unintended but serendipitous side effect being the dignitaries lightheartedly chatting and sharing mutual interests without the pressure of being in a formal setting.

As well as the money going towards improving Gilda’s bakery stand, the cakes themselves gave a subtle message: Gold was a glistening metal, valued and sought out for many reasons, from it’s superior conductivity to it’s more mainstream use as assorted treasures. However, this valued metal was not the only thing to be found in life; there were other things just as good, just as valued and just as gleaming, both figuratively and literally.

Or to put it another way...all that glitters is not gold.

Plutonium

Being one of the few that were left, the Raider tried to run, but Littlepip had become a good shot a long time ago. As was typical in the Wasteland, what had begun as a simple salvage attempt became a major shootout.

After a long fight, only Littlepip and the two ponies she travelled with remained. One such pony, Calamity, landed near where Littlepip stood, the guns on his battle saddle still smoking. “Whoo-whee! They were harder to get out than Tack Ticks!” He commented, favoring his right foreleg with a grunt as he landed.

“You're telling me!” Littlepip replied, lowering Little Macintosh.

Velvet Remedy, the third member of their party, quickly checked both ponies for injuries. Both had mostly minor wounds except for a bad graze wound on Calamity’s foreleg, which she diligently patched up with her first aid kit. “You realize WE could have just as easily retreated to look for a new place to scavenge, right?” She said.

“They would have just pressed the issue and come after us, you know that.” Littlepip answered.

The three of them looked around at the wrecked storefronts around them; like so many others to be found in ruined towns such as the one they were in.

“So what’s so great about this place that made ‘em wanna defend it so bad?” Calamity asked.

“One way to find out.” Littlepip said, trotting towards the area where the Raiders were holed up, “We’ve come this far, right?”

Upon entering the ruined storefront, all three ponies were utterly shocked to find that the Raiders were protecting nothing less than a fully functional Balefire Bomb, which had apparently landed...but not detonated.

“Oh, my…” Velvet managed to squeak out.

“Well, now…” Calamity said, likewise nervous, “That explains it.”

Littlepip took a deep breath to steady herself, before saying, “Help me get it open.” At the surprised looks of her friends, she said, “You know we can't just let this sit here.”

Calamity and Velvet looked at each other momentarily before trotting over to assist Littlepip. After a half-hour or so of careful work, Littlepip finally levitated a small cylinder out of the bomb with her magic, letting out a breath she'd been holding without realizing it. She studied it momentarily to inspect it for any damage. The isotope within the shielded cylinder was the key to a Balefire bomb’s deadly power...

Plutonium. Frighteningly radioactive, it was as deadly outside the bomb as it was inside.

“Okay, let’s get…” Littlepip began, before hearing more hoofsteps run towards them. Rushing to the window, she saw three times the amount of Raiders that they initially fought off approaching the building the three were in. “Luna’s full moon! Is there a convention or something!?”

“Makes sense...” Calamity commented, “A buncha Raider clans wantin’ their own Balefire bomb gettin’ together so they can actually hold onto it.”

“Could we consider retreat THIS time?” Velvet asked.

Littlepip looked to the bomb, then the Raiders outside, and smiled.

Some time later, after their ultimatums for surrender went unanswered, a large mass of Raiders ran inside, only to find nothing...nothing, that is, except what was left of their nuclear prize, counting down to zero.

In the distance, a large explosion of red fire went off as the trio of ponies kept running or flying away, having escaped out an unguarded back entrance. The removal of the plutonium alone was enough to render the Balefire bomb non-radioactive, but it was still a bomb, the base magic matrix being that of an explosive Inferno megaspell. Using their combined ballistic and technical knowledge, Littlepip and Calamity rigged the bomb to blow, but at a greatly reduced level of destructive power.

Once they were far enough away, the three slowed to a walk. “So what do we do with the plutonium?” Calamity asked.

“I’ll think of something.” Littlepip said confidently.

"Preferably before you start glowing in the dark." Velvet added.

(Fallout: Equestria is copyright Kkat)

Copper

“Ready, Spike?” Twilight asked.

Spike flipped a switch on a strange device that hummed and crackled ever so slightly, the memory crystal within glowing. He also held quill and parchment, prepared to write. “Ready!”

With a nod, Twilight turned her attention to several items spread out on a table...items from the human world. She looked over the items...books (naturally), a mechanical pencil, a pair of shoes, a GI Joe action figure…

Her eyes stopped on a simple penny, and she gave a quick nod. “We’ll start with this item.” Spike began scratching quill to parchment to write down the proper headings to indicate the first item of study, the memory crystal device still recording every sight and sound. Twilight opened a few of the human books, giving them a quick glance before turning her attention to the item of study...

Levitating the coin in her magic aura, the studious alicorn princess set it against a wooden ruler, then rotated it slowly over and over. She moved it close to sniff at it, before finally speaking: “Item is referred to as a ‘penny.’ It is a metal disc approximately nineteen millimeters in diameter and one and a half millimeters in thickness. Color and scent indicates the metal it’s made from as being copper; this fact is supported by human reference sources to be cited at the end of written records.”

Twilight levitated a magnifying glass up to the coin, studying it intently as she continued, “This ‘penny' is a coin representing the lowest monetary value of the nation of the human world named ‘America;’ that value being referred to as a ‘cent.’” Much like our own coins, there appear to be multiple numbers, words, and pictures upon it. The words indicate the penny's value, the realm that it represents, the word ‘liberty,’ the phrase ‘In God we trust,’ an apparent socio-religious statement regarding faith in a higher deity; and the phrase ‘E pluribus unum,’ a language that we also coincidentally share with the humans. The translation to our common tongue is ‘out of many, one.’” This is a significant reference to a core ideal of America; people of multiple cultures and creeds unified to help both one another and their nation.”

“Friendship is magic?” Spike asked with a smile and a wink.

Twilight giggled and nodded. “Precisely!”

Turning her attention back to the penny, the Princess of Friendship continued, “I also see the letter ‘P' which, according to reference material, indicates the location of the mint that produced it; the P stands for ‘Pennsylvania,’ one of the many smaller ‘state’s’ that make up the whole of America; more on this subject in later recordings regarding America’s government, known as a ‘constitutional democratic republic.’”

Twilight took another look at the opened human books and continued, “The pictures depicted on the coin include a profile of what appears to be a human male and a structure with multiple columns. Reference materials indicate that these two images are related, with the male human being a revered human leader of America, called a ‘President.’ The name of this leader is ‘Abraham Lincoln;’ more on this subject in later recordings about significant figures in human history. The building represented is a memorial built in Abraham Lincoln's honor, named thusly after him.”

With a satisfied smile, Twilight put down the miniature copper depiction of humanity.

Nitrogen

Applejack bit into an apple, savoring it's wonderful sweet flavor. Sweet Apple Acres had recently been producing larger and more numerous apples than ever, ironically due to a certain breed of animal that she once thought could only be destructive pests.

Despite being an experienced farmer in a long line of experienced farmers, there were still new things to learn. She knew that fertilizer contained, among other things, nitrogen, an element which helped plants to grow greener and fuller. Such things were common horticultural knowledge. What she DIDN'T know, however, was that nitrogen could be found in abundance from an unlikely source.

Applejack, upon checking the area of her orchard reserved for the vampire fruit bats that once plagued her, discovered quickly that not only had new saplings grown from the spread of seeds that Fluttershy predicted, but all the trees in general were healthier and produced more fruit than ever before! When she and Fluttershy investigated, the answer became apparent quickly.

Naturally, like any other animal, bats will ultimately defecate sometime after consumption. This defecation would occur mostly around the trees. Weather did the rest, with wind and rain spreading and breaking down the feces and causing it to seep into the ground. The tree would take in the vital nutrients afterwards, the result being the healthy specimens Applejack observed.

So it was, Applejack would learn to safely gather (as bat guano was a source of disease as well, if one was not careful) and utilize one of the best natural fertilizers around, and Sweet Apple Acres was that much better for it.