Identity Theft

        Templar: Greetings.

Charming: Hey there.

Templar: My name is Templar Justice, and thou?

Charming: I'm Charming Stallion, greetings to you, kind sir

Templar: Pleasure to meet you Sir Stallion.

Charming: The pleasure is mine kind friend. What sort of thing do you do, I work at Sugar Cube Corner myself.

Templar: I work as a personal Mercenary for the Princess

Charming: My I ask, which one? There are many.

Templar: Celestia of course.

Charming: Ah, I assumed you may have been talking about Princess Luna sir, my apologies.

Templar: Easy mistake, but Celestia is the one with enemies.

Charming: Of course, But who else is there?

Templar: What do you mean? the other princesses?

Charming: No, her enemies.

Templar: Oh, just others who want to take over the throne, other governments and their mercenaries.

Charming: I suppose it's to be expected, Miss Celestia needs a fine mercenary, such as yourself, to help defend the kingdom.

Templar: Funny thing is, no one even knows who I am or where I came from, for all they know, I was already by her side.

Charming: Some of the greatest warriors of equestria are unknown to most, but loved or hated by many.

Templar: Well I guess you're right that I should be unknown by civ's.

Charming:...............Well, I'm off the clock now, would you like to join me for a pint of cider friend?

Templar: Very well. *eyes flash green for half a second*

Charming: Great!

*later, at Super Cider Bar*

Templar: *looking around for someone*

Charming: Hmm? You looking for someone?

Templar: Yeah, my sources told me my next target usually comes here.

Charming: Should I be wary?

Templar: It depends, are you my target? *reaches for sword*

Charming: Not unless someone wants me takin' care of for bringing a cake to someone else.

Templar: *smirk*  My sources tell me it is you who I'm looking for, so no cake for me. *eyes glow green, hoofs alight with green flames*

Charming: *now nervous* Wait, what? Why would someone put a target on me? I-I'm just a delivery boy!

Templar: Oh really? That's not what it says on your Profile *slides profile on the table* Murder, theft, arson, manslaughter, sex offenses, and one case of eating a birthday boy's puppy.

Charming: What?! There is no way that's right! Listen, whoever this pony is, it ain't me. It CAN'T be me.

Templar: I have much proof as well as many witnesses, it IS you!

Charming: Do you even know what your ,"target", looks like?

Templar: Again, I have witnesses, and they I.D.'d you pretty well. Unless you have a twin I don't know about!

        *Templar un-sheaths his sword and starts swinging*

Charming: G'AAHH!! *picks up chair and blocks sword* Wait! Are you sure, about me I mean?

Templar: ........... I like to trust the evidence, it is usually correct.

Charming: Please, give me a moment to say what I have to say!

Templar: *green flames go out, but eyes remain green* I'm listening...

Charming: Will you at the very least tell me who said I did all those terrible things?

Templar: They wish to remain incognito.

Charming: I understand, but have you asked anypony who knows me, personally I mean?

Templar: Why I don't bother with such journalism!

Charming: But, they might be able to clear my name!

Templar: You better come up with something fast, time is running out for you.

Charming: Please, I didn't do anything.......well......not anything as bad as that stuff anyway!

Templar: Oh I'm sorry, 'as bad?' what do you do exactly then?

*similar looking stallion comes from behind and tries stabbing me, I jab my sword into his ribs and flail him right next to you*

Templar:FIEND!

*comes closer, looks at both of you then a picture*

Templar: Uh-huuuuuuuh....

Charming: What's going on here?! Who is that?

Templar: I see, this is that guy from 87 years ago, and it seems to me, that he stole your identity.

Charming: Wha- but how'd he do that? I'm not really that important.

Templar: That's why he's been so low profile to Mercs like me.

*The stranger starts to regain consicence, Templar beats him to the ground and stabs his head three times, each one stronger than the last*

Charming: Good great Celestia, man!!

Templar: *drenched in blood* Well, that's another check for me then.

Charming: Why'd you do that!?

Templar: He's been on the prowl for more decades that you've been here.

Charming: Huh? What do you mean by that?

Templar: Look, I'm pretty sure you can guess by now, that I'm older than I look.

Charming: Well, kinda.......But, you don't look all that old....

Templar: He's a serial killer rapist, and celestia herself has hunted for him for over 80 years.

Charming: 80 years?!

Templar: So I get paid, your name is cleared, everyone wins!

Charming: I guess but, why was he.....me?

Templar: To avoid being spotted by his previous aliases and seeing as he was here, he was getting pretty bored of his disguise...think I just saved your life there.

Charming: You probably did....thanks for that.

Templar: No problem.

Charming: Let me buy ya pint, to say thanks.

Templar: Thank you. *puts his hoof to the corpse, the corpse loses its nurture*

Charming: *looks at what Templar is doing, shocked* What......ah.....was that?

Templar: Well...I figured he didn't need his remaining life force...so I helped myself.

Charming: *rubs back of head* Well, ok I guess......WAIT! *points at Templar* Where you gonna do that to me a second ago?!

Templar: Nah....I was going to stab you for every time you did a crime...he did a crime. Too bad I stabbed him only 3 times.

Charming: Your a......rather Interesting Mercenary, Templar.

Templar: I get that a lot, again sorry, for the uh...misunderstanding.

Charming: Ya'know looking back on it.......It's ok. Just another mistake, they happen. *smiles*

Templar: *confused look* But...I almost killed you.

Charming: Gotta forgive in order to forget, my friend. Now, about that drink.

Templar: Uh...sure.

*Charming waves his hoof*

Charming: Bartender, a pint for me and my friend here.

Bartender - Coming right up sir!

*a few moments later*

Templar: *half-drunk* Ya know..imma like...over 600 years old..heheheeee..

Charming: *half-drunk* Whaaa-there's....there's no-no....no way........*drinks some more cider*

Templar: Yea maaan, i was laik, a crusader and shizz...and celstia is all like "go bring me some saamples of the fountain of laifu" and then i gots there right?

Charming: *nods with the bottle still in mouth* Mmmmhhmmm......

Templar: Nut it was laik...corrpupted by them CHANGELINGS, OOHOOOOOO, an a drank som, and now im laik part change...thingy.

Charming: So leik....ishtat waht the wohle ting, what wif the cole lokin FIRRRE was erarlier?

Templar: Yea...i.t.w.aa..s.s. .p..r.e.t.y..y.. .c..o.oo.l.l...*passes out*

Charming: *stares at Templar for a few moments*.........PPHHHSSSHHAAAHAHAHA!!!!....*falls of chair, and passes out as well*

                                                                                  THE END

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