Identity Theft

by Charming Stallion

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 1138

This is a story from my own mind and the mind of a complete stranger.

This story is about a delivery colt named Charming Stallion who meets a Mercenary by the name of Templar Justice.
Just when things look good for a friendship, Charming is mistaken for an Evil pony! How will he clear his name? You'll just have to read to find out!

This story was made not only from me, but from some random person I found on the internet. Please be easy with your judgement. This is also my first time writing a fan-fiction.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-10 18:01:46 UTC

He is me?!

        Templar: Greetings.

Charming: Hey there.

Templar: My name is Templar Justice, and thou?

Charming: I'm Charming Stallion, greetings to you, kind sir

Templar: Pleasure to meet you Sir Stallion.

Charming: The pleasure is mine kind friend. What sort of thing do you do, I work at Sugar Cube Corner myself.

Templar: I work as a personal Mercenary for the Princess

Charming: My I ask, which one? There are many.

Templar: Celestia of course.

Charming: Ah, I assumed you may have been talking about Princess Luna sir, my apologies.

Templar: Easy mistake, but Celestia is the one with enemies.

Charming: Of course, But who else is there?

Templar: What do you mean? the other princesses?

Charming: No, her enemies.

Templar: Oh, just others who want to take over the throne, other governments and their mercenaries.

Charming: I suppose it's to be expected, Miss Celestia needs a fine mercenary, such as yourself, to help defend the kingdom.

Templar: Funny thing is, no one even knows who I am or where I came from, for all they know, I was already by her side.

Charming: Some of the greatest warriors of equestria are unknown to most, but loved or hated by many.

Templar: Well I guess you're right that I should be unknown by civ's.

Charming:...............Well, I'm off the clock now, would you like to join me for a pint of cider friend?

Templar: Very well. *eyes flash green for half a second*

Charming: Great!

*later, at Super Cider Bar*

Templar: *looking around for someone*

Charming: Hmm? You looking for someone?

Templar: Yeah, my sources told me my next target usually comes here.

Charming: Should I be wary?

Templar: It depends, are you my target? *reaches for sword*

Charming: Not unless someone wants me takin' care of for bringing a cake to someone else.

Templar: *smirk*  My sources tell me it is you who I'm looking for, so no cake for me. *eyes glow green, hoofs alight with green flames*

Charming: *now nervous* Wait, what? Why would someone put a target on me? I-I'm just a delivery boy!

Templar: Oh really? That's not what it says on your Profile *slides profile on the table* Murder, theft, arson, manslaughter, sex offenses, and one case of eating a birthday boy's puppy.

Charming: What?! There is no way that's right! Listen, whoever this pony is, it ain't me. It CAN'T be me.

Templar: I have much proof as well as many witnesses, it IS you!

Charming: Do you even know what your ,"target", looks like?

Templar: Again, I have witnesses, and they I.D.'d you pretty well. Unless you have a twin I don't know about!

        *Templar un-sheaths his sword and starts swinging*

Charming: G'AAHH!! *picks up chair and blocks sword* Wait! Are you sure, about me I mean?

Templar: ........... I like to trust the evidence, it is usually correct.

Charming: Please, give me a moment to say what I have to say!

Templar: *green flames go out, but eyes remain green* I'm listening...

Charming: Will you at the very least tell me who said I did all those terrible things?

Templar: They wish to remain incognito.

Charming: I understand, but have you asked anypony who knows me, personally I mean?

Templar: Why I don't bother with such journalism!

Charming: But, they might be able to clear my name!

Templar: You better come up with something fast, time is running out for you.

Charming: Please, I didn't do anything.......well......not anything as bad as that stuff anyway!

Templar: Oh I'm sorry, 'as bad?' what do you do exactly then?

*similar looking stallion comes from behind and tries stabbing me, I jab my sword into his ribs and flail him right next to you*

Templar:FIEND!

*comes closer, looks at both of you then a picture*

Templar: Uh-huuuuuuuh....

Charming: What's going on here?! Who is that?

Templar: I see, this is that guy from 87 years ago, and it seems to me, that he stole your identity.

Charming: Wha- but how'd he do that? I'm not really that important.

Templar: That's why he's been so low profile to Mercs like me.

*The stranger starts to regain consicence, Templar beats him to the ground and stabs his head three times, each one stronger than the last*

Charming: Good great Celestia, man!!

Templar: *drenched in blood* Well, that's another check for me then.

Charming: Why'd you do that!?

Templar: He's been on the prowl for more decades that you've been here.

Charming: Huh? What do you mean by that?

Templar: Look, I'm pretty sure you can guess by now, that I'm older than I look.

Charming: Well, kinda.......But, you don't look all that old....

Templar: He's a serial killer rapist, and celestia herself has hunted for him for over 80 years.

Charming: 80 years?!

Templar: So I get paid, your name is cleared, everyone wins!

Charming: I guess but, why was he.....me?

Templar: To avoid being spotted by his previous aliases and seeing as he was here, he was getting pretty bored of his disguise...think I just saved your life there.

Charming: You probably did....thanks for that.

Templar: No problem.

Charming: Let me buy ya pint, to say thanks.

Templar: Thank you. *puts his hoof to the corpse, the corpse loses its nurture*

Charming: *looks at what Templar is doing, shocked* What......ah.....was that?

Templar: Well...I figured he didn't need his remaining life force...so I helped myself.

Charming: *rubs back of head* Well, ok I guess......WAIT! *points at Templar* Where you gonna do that to me a second ago?!

Templar: Nah....I was going to stab you for every time you did a crime...he did a crime. Too bad I stabbed him only 3 times.

Charming: Your a......rather Interesting Mercenary, Templar.

Templar: I get that a lot, again sorry, for the uh...misunderstanding.

Charming: Ya'know looking back on it.......It's ok. Just another mistake, they happen. *smiles*

Templar: *confused look* But...I almost killed you.

Charming: Gotta forgive in order to forget, my friend. Now, about that drink.

Templar: Uh...sure.

*Charming waves his hoof*

Charming: Bartender, a pint for me and my friend here.

Bartender - Coming right up sir!

*a few moments later*

Templar: *half-drunk* Ya know..imma like...over 600 years old..heheheeee..

Charming: *half-drunk* Whaaa-there's....there's no-no....no way........*drinks some more cider*

Templar: Yea maaan, i was laik, a crusader and shizz...and celstia is all like "go bring me some saamples of the fountain of laifu" and then i gots there right?

Charming: *nods with the bottle still in mouth* Mmmmhhmmm......

Templar: Nut it was laik...corrpupted by them CHANGELINGS, OOHOOOOOO, an a drank som, and now im laik part change...thingy.

Charming: So leik....ishtat waht the wohle ting, what wif the cole lokin FIRRRE was erarlier?

Templar: Yea...i.t.w.aa..s.s. .p..r.e.t.y..y.. .c..o.oo.l.l...*passes out*

Charming: *stares at Templar for a few moments*.........PPHHHSSSHHAAAHAHAHA!!!!....*falls of chair, and passes out as well*

                                                                                  THE END

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