//-------------------------------------------------------// Identity Theft -by Charming Stallion- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// He is me?! //-------------------------------------------------------// He is me?!         Templar: Greetings. Charming: Hey there. Templar: My name is Templar Justice, and thou? Charming: I'm Charming Stallion, greetings to you, kind sir Templar: Pleasure to meet you Sir Stallion. Charming: The pleasure is mine kind friend. What sort of thing do you do, I work at Sugar Cube Corner myself. Templar: I work as a personal Mercenary for the Princess Charming: My I ask, which one? There are many. Templar: Celestia of course. Charming: Ah, I assumed you may have been talking about Princess Luna sir, my apologies. Templar: Easy mistake, but Celestia is the one with enemies. Charming: Of course, But who else is there? Templar: What do you mean? the other princesses? Charming: No, her enemies. Templar: Oh, just others who want to take over the throne, other governments and their mercenaries. Charming: I suppose it's to be expected, Miss Celestia needs a fine mercenary, such as yourself, to help defend the kingdom. Templar: Funny thing is, no one even knows who I am or where I came from, for all they know, I was already by her side. Charming: Some of the greatest warriors of equestria are unknown to most, but loved or hated by many. Templar: Well I guess you're right that I should be unknown by civ's. Charming:...............Well, I'm off the clock now, would you like to join me for a pint of cider friend? Templar: Very well. *eyes flash green for half a second* Charming: Great! *later, at Super Cider Bar* Templar: *looking around for someone* Charming: Hmm? You looking for someone? Templar: Yeah, my sources told me my next target usually comes here. Charming: Should I be wary? Templar: It depends, are you my target? *reaches for sword* Charming: Not unless someone wants me takin' care of for bringing a cake to someone else. Templar: *smirk*  My sources tell me it is you who I'm looking for, so no cake for me. *eyes glow green, hoofs alight with green flames* Charming: *now nervous* Wait, what? Why would someone put a target on me? I-I'm just a delivery boy! Templar: Oh really? That's not what it says on your Profile *slides profile on the table* Murder, theft, arson, manslaughter, sex offenses, and one case of eating a birthday boy's puppy. Charming: What?! There is no way that's right! Listen, whoever this pony is, it ain't me. It CAN'T be me. Templar: I have much proof as well as many witnesses, it IS you! Charming: Do you even know what your ,"target", looks like? Templar: Again, I have witnesses, and they I.D.'d you pretty well. Unless you have a twin I don't know about!         *Templar un-sheaths his sword and starts swinging* Charming: G'AAHH!! *picks up chair and blocks sword* Wait! Are you sure, about me I mean? Templar: ........... I like to trust the evidence, it is usually correct. Charming: Please, give me a moment to say what I have to say! Templar: *green flames go out, but eyes remain green* I'm listening... Charming: Will you at the very least tell me who said I did all those terrible things? Templar: They wish to remain incognito. Charming: I understand, but have you asked anypony who knows me, personally I mean? Templar: Why I don't bother with such journalism! Charming: But, they might be able to clear my name! Templar: You better come up with something fast, time is running out for you. Charming: Please, I didn't do anything.......well......not anything as bad as that stuff anyway! Templar: Oh I'm sorry, 'as bad?' what do you do exactly then? *similar looking stallion comes from behind and tries stabbing me, I jab my sword into his ribs and flail him right next to you* Templar:FIEND! *comes closer, looks at both of you then a picture* Templar: Uh-huuuuuuuh.... Charming: What's going on here?! Who is that? Templar: I see, this is that guy from 87 years ago, and it seems to me, that he stole your identity. Charming: Wha- but how'd he do that? I'm not really that important. Templar: That's why he's been so low profile to Mercs like me. *The stranger starts to regain consicence, Templar beats him to the ground and stabs his head three times, each one stronger than the last* Charming: Good great Celestia, man!! Templar: *drenched in blood* Well, that's another check for me then. Charming: Why'd you do that!? Templar: He's been on the prowl for more decades that you've been here. Charming: Huh? What do you mean by that? Templar: Look, I'm pretty sure you can guess by now, that I'm older than I look. Charming: Well, kinda.......But, you don't look all that old.... Templar: He's a serial killer rapist, and celestia herself has hunted for him for over 80 years. Charming: 80 years?! Templar: So I get paid, your name is cleared, everyone wins! Charming: I guess but, why was he.....me? Templar: To avoid being spotted by his previous aliases and seeing as he was here, he was getting pretty bored of his disguise...think I just saved your life there. Charming: You probably did....thanks for that. Templar: No problem. Charming: Let me buy ya pint, to say thanks. Templar: Thank you. *puts his hoof to the corpse, the corpse loses its nurture* Charming: *looks at what Templar is doing, shocked* What......ah.....was that? Templar: Well...I figured he didn't need his remaining life force...so I helped myself. Charming: *rubs back of head* Well, ok I guess......WAIT! *points at Templar* Where you gonna do that to me a second ago?! Templar: Nah....I was going to stab you for every time you did a crime...he did a crime. Too bad I stabbed him only 3 times. Charming: Your a......rather Interesting Mercenary, Templar. Templar: I get that a lot, again sorry, for the uh...misunderstanding. Charming: Ya'know looking back on it.......It's ok. Just another mistake, they happen. *smiles* Templar: *confused look* But...I almost killed you. Charming: Gotta forgive in order to forget, my friend. Now, about that drink. Templar: Uh...sure. *Charming waves his hoof* Charming: Bartender, a pint for me and my friend here. Bartender - Coming right up sir! *a few moments later* Templar: *half-drunk* Ya know..imma like...over 600 years old..heheheeee.. Charming: *half-drunk* Whaaa-there's....there's no-no....no way........*drinks some more cider* Templar: Yea maaan, i was laik, a crusader and shizz...and celstia is all like "go bring me some saamples of the fountain of laifu" and then i gots there right? Charming: *nods with the bottle still in mouth* Mmmmhhmmm...... Templar: Nut it was laik...corrpupted by them CHANGELINGS, OOHOOOOOO, an a drank som, and now im laik part change...thingy. Charming: So leik....ishtat waht the wohle ting, what wif the cole lokin FIRRRE was erarlier? Templar: Yea...i.t.w.aa..s.s. .p..r.e.t.y..y.. .c..o.oo.l.l...*passes out* Charming: *stares at Templar for a few moments*.........PPHHHSSSHHAAAHAHAHA!!!!....*falls of chair, and passes out as well*                                                                                   THE END                                                                      Thanks for reading! (>^w^)> WUBS!