Fallout: Equestria - The Ranger of Seamane

“In the wasteland, there are many new and strange things created from the release of cataclysmic amounts of wild magic. If you find something not covered in these guides you may be the first to see it, so try to survive so we can update our guides! Remember these guides are how to survive the wasteland so don’t get killed trying to expand them!”
-Wasteland Survival Guide Author’s note about unknowns

Rocky Venture’s body was as heavy as he looked, even with the blood loss he had failed to shed enough weight to not be exhausted to move. Plus his body was now going through the first phases of death and it was… smelly; his corpse had evacuated his bowels when I picked him up and put him on my back, without magic. Carrying the damned bastard’s corpse outside was probably one of the worst experiences in my life, thus far.

When I emerged from the ruin, the mortar teams had stopped their bombardment. Another large group of raiders were milling about nearby and to my right. They must have fallen back as the Hydra moved in and were focused on what was once the Rocky Venture show.

Here goes nothing. Fuck me, I really did go with dragging his corpse out for display. Ugh whatever, let's get this over with. Either this works and I get patched up or this doesn’t and I’m probably dead. Not like I have barding to protect me at this point, not with everything Venture put me through.

“Rocky Venture is dead! He lies dead by my hoof!” I proclaimed, shrugging off their leader’s body and letting it crumple to the ground unceremoniously before resting a hoof on his throat. When no one made a move on me I continued.

“Now, I'm giving you options! Join Four Corners today for the chance of survival tomorrow! Join in fighting back the Hydra and its kin... or flee with your lives!” I bellowed, putting my hoof through Rocky’’s cracked skull. “This is your one chance. Make it count!”

Ew… that’s brains on my hoof, fuck that’s disgusting.

I could feel my muscles tightening into knots which didn’t do my battered chest any good. Then again neither did carrying the bastard. I tried to hide my gulp as I waited for the response from the now animated and loud raiders as they argued among themselves.

Soon the entire mortar team packed up and trotted up beside me. A good third of the ponies to my right joined me as well. The stragglers either slunk off quietly or stomped off angrily in groups.

Well, I’ll take that. Two-thirds are fucking off which is… probably for the best with the resources we have here. Infighting among the deserters should help keep things safe for a while.

“We can’t keep living like we were.” One of the mortar crew piped up suddenly, looking around him for nods of support. “We’re at your disposal, Miss.” Then the ponies, as if instinctively acting on some old habit, kneeled to me.

I felt a degree of anxiety at being given leadership before stomping a hoof to get their attention. And this time not into Rocky’s skull.

“Okay, we need to redeploy. Somepony get a white flag ready and follow behind me.” I barked out. “Stay a block back so no pony gets shot while I can explain the situation, alright? I’m pretty certain Four Corners will be happy to have more ponies to help, even if there will be some... friction given the prior situation.”

“As you command.” The head of the mortar team replied. “Oh and what do you want us to call you?”

“You can call me Moonlight,” I told them, not wanting my ego to grow to the size of Rocky Venture’s.

“Understood, Mistress Moonlight.” The assembled ponies chimed together.

I facehoofed but waved it off. We were pressed for time. If we survived I could deal with the terminology of leadership later.

One of the raiders commented that I was bleeding. I looked down where he was gesturing and saw that my old wounds had continued to bleed, dripping blood onto the ground below. I gave him a nod and he wrapped me in bandages while everypony else prepared white banners; the universal sign of surrender and peace. Well, that and Fluttershy’s Cutiemark.

Once I was patched up and felt we had enough flags and banners we began the march back to town. The roar of the hydra could be heard closing in and we soon broke into a canter. Time was against us and we needed to hurry even if my body wished to strangle me for doing more than merely exist at this time.

As we made our approach, I waved one of the flags that had been made and, seeing the reciprocating signal, beckoned for the former raiders to follow.

“You’re alive!” One of the ponies on the wall exclaimed.

“Yes, and, well this is going to be awkward but I brokered peace with some of the raiders after killing their leader,” I explained quickly, pausing to catch my breath. “Most of them left but we have a third of them plus the mortar team who really needs to get set up before the hydra gets here.”

The raiders trotted up behind me, keeping their weapons holstered and their white banners flying. At least they were taking my leadership to heart. How strange it was that they followed the strongest. Or as some had said, maybe they were just tired of the lifestyle.

Kill one pony to spare one hundred? Maybe I’m cut out for this. Maybe it isn’t all slaughter and bloodshed until one faction is left standing.

I pushed my thoughts out of my head. There was a time and place for analysis. This wasn’t the time to think about my place in the wasteland. That time and place was in Dockland with my head squarely on a pillow.

“Head around to the south side so we can get all of you in.” The guard finally shouted back, as more pony heads poked over the wall. “Thank the Princesses you bought us enough time to get the turrets calibrated during all that. Your zebra friend is amazing!”

“I know!” I laughed though it drew my thoughts to how the rest of my friends were doing.

“Get in, and get set up. We’ll deal with the conflicts later!” Another pony shouted, gesturing hurriedly to the other gate.

“You heard them! Get in there and set up to repel the Hydra and its kin!” I shouted to my small army.

Were they really mine though? It was such an odd thought. I pushed it out of my head as I watched the flurry of activity as both sides came together when we streamed into the south gate. I brought up the rear and followed the last of the group I had recruited in.

The injured were patched up and it didn’t take long for combined forces to set about the tasks of getting into defensible positions and sighting in the mortars.

“Which way is it to the command bunker?” I asked, my head still swimming in thoughts. Half of me just wanted to bunker down with my friends until this was all over.

“Command?” One of the guards asked quizzically.

“Town hall?” I offered.

“Just go to the building with the cannons if you want to talk to the ponies standing around looking important.” He informed me.

“Thanks. That actually helps quite a lot.” I replied honestly.

I pondered another healing potion. At first, I decided against it since I had already had one after getting shot up. That had probably been enough to fuck myself up. Then I glanced down and saw the blood that still was dripping from me. Even with the quick patch job, I was still falling apart as I trotted along.

“Yeah fuck it. I’m actively bleeding out.” I muttered as I sat on my haunches and dug into my saddlebags for a healing potion.

As I did, I saw that a few of my books had bullets caught in their covers. I made a note to remove those bullets and repair the books later before downing the potion. Initially, I started feeling better before I felt my mistake manifest.

Metal pushed its way out of the already healed-up surface wounds while the healing magic continued to regenerate tissue. I remembered the broken rib and screamed in my mind realizing how deeply I had just fucked up. I collapsed onto the ground in a pile of agony, blood, and shrapnel.

As I lost consciousness, Winter cantered into view shouting for a stretcher. “You fucking idiot, you forgot the first rule of healing potions again, didn’t you?” He grumbled as I felt his hooves working to help remove the shrapnel pushing out of me.

-=O=-

I woke up somewhere familiar. That was nice. I looked down and saw bandages around my midsection. I was covered in them. Given what I had just gone through, that made sense.

I also had a note taped to my chest reminding me not to drink healing potions while having foreign objects in me. The note was politely worded at the very least, which was nice.

Well, that’s healing taken care of, though I’m probably never going to be allowed to practice medicine again with that snafu. Oh right, I would’ve also come in here pumped full of drugs too. That… really wouldn’t have helped my case. Brilliant fucking job me.

I was, partially, surprised to find I was not restrained and started to slowly get myself sitting up in bed. This had ended up being far more eventful than it should have been. It was entirely my own fault this time considering I took the path of most resistance and least support.

I also needed to start keeping explosives on me.

“Hey Crash, Care, are either of you free?” I croaked.

Care came into my curtained-off section, glancing down at the note and then looking unimpressed at me.

“Take it easy on, well everything. Your entire body is… It’s amazing how you somehow came back in both worse and better condition than you left.” He scolded. I flattened my ears in response. He wasn’t wrong though, so I just nodded.

“That said you saved a lot of lives today and I can’t thank you enough for that.” Care continued “And for that very reason, I can’t have you dying on us just yet. At least not until this is all sorted.”

“Agreed,” I added.

“So please stay behind the walls until things calm down, okay?” Care pleaded with me.

“That is a very easy thing to agree to,” I replied, my eyes dilating at the prospect of going beyond the walls with the Vipers and Hydra so close. “I am not fucking going out there where I’m outnumbered by Sisters know how many to one with those scalie freaks.”

“Good. Now, we haven’t finished working on you so could you please lay back down?” Care asked.

“Sure, what do you still have to do?” I inquired.

Cart suddenly pushed his way through the curtains.

“Oh dear. Care you didn’t say she was this bad.” He said as, quickly checking my triage chart and running a critical eye over me. “Just a moment Moonlight and we'll get you sorted out. Your new mechanical friends are keeping casualties to a minimum so we have time to fix you up.”

“Well that’s good to hear but--” I didn’t get to finish as Cart hit me with some spell and I felt the world melt away.

-=O=-

I felt like jello.

Oh right. That’s the sensation of hard-core painkillers. Wee!~

I waved a hoof in front of my face, enjoying the sensation.

Wait. Priorities. How long was I out for?

With a thought I brought up the clock on my E.F.S. before realizing I hadn’t been keeping track of time today anyway.

Helpful.

I flexed my limbs and was shocked at how nothing hurt. Then again, I was probably on the strong shit right now. I definitely felt stronger though so I grinned and slid off the bed. Sparing a moment to check my coat in a hoof mirror, I spotted cuts across my front and gaps in my coat that would hopefully grow over to hide the inevitable scars.

At the start of this trip, I merely had a hoofful of scrapes and cuts from the Guard. And the big two from when I wasn’t. Now I was truly weathered by the wasteland. This was fine, wounds would heal in time.

I stretched and felt my joints pop then rolled my jaw to loosen it, feeling it move smoothly as always. Hesitantly, I slowly moved my hoof to my horn and gently touched it. Rubbing it, I immediately realized it didn’t hurt to touch anymore.

I felt for the grooves of my horn with the frog of my hoof. The bone was altered from the incident; the grooves were less noticeable if not gone and it also felt like my horn had a curve more now. That wasn’t surprising given the superheated state it was in while compressed. Smooth horns weren’t unique at least, just something rare up here.

I picked the mirror up again and now visually inspected my horn. It was indeed smooth, curved, and wickedly sharp at the top.

I was changed forever now on the outside. Not just the scars either. I was now beginning to feel like a different mare.

Yet I felt better than I had in a week. More like several weeks since I had been bitten by that mole rat. The fight had left its scars on me, that was certain, which was fine. All fights did. This one just happened to leave ones that others could see more easily, ones my coat could never truly hide.

I wasn’t willing to try my magic just yet. Not after two incidents of overloading my horn back to back and definitely not with my horn in its new, unfamiliar shape. I’d wait until I felt a more pressing need to start pushing my luck again. Until then I would do just things the good old-fashioned way with hoof and mouth like I was trained to do.

Before putting the mirror away, I noticed that a small part under the tip of my ear was missing and hadn’t fully healed. It was as if someone had pulled a stud out from it. I sighed and put the mirror down fully so I could start putting on my gear.

At least I had never been the prettiest mare in the wasteland so it wasn’t a real loss to have my looks marred like this. It still hurt what little pride I had held for my own looks in a small way.

As I finished putting my battle saddle on with my mouth and hoof, Care poked his head past the curtains.

“Wait, where do you think you’re going?” He asked, looking surprised to see me up and about.

“Is the battle still going?” I inquired, tightening one last strap with a hoof. I quickly moved to add the saddlebags to my load.

“Well yes but... You know what? I’ve let ponies in worse shape than you go back out there.” Care sighed and continued tiredly. “Yes, go fight. Please don’t come back in worse shape.”

“Hard to be still alive and worse than the two times I’ve come in,” I replied sympathetically. “I’ll try not to manage that feat. Do you know where Riptide and Sil are?”

“Riptide’s resting, she’s been helping us in the O.R. fixing up ponies. She’s not the quickest learner but she's good at listening to instructions.” Care explained. “Sil took a bullet from a raider before you stopped the fighting so she’s resting.”

I nodded. “Then I guess this one’s on me.”

“What do you mean ‘on you’? We have plenty of ponies here for that!” Care called to me but I was already heading out the door. “You don’t need to risk your life anymore for us, you’ve already done enough! Damn it, you’re no hero! Stop trying to play the part!”

I ignored him resolutely. I needed to pester the ponies in charge to see if they had a plan. How many times in the past seventy-two hours have I ended up out cold? Well, let’s not add to the number any more than is needed.

I cantered towards the town hall. The cannons on it were massive, cobbled-together post-war constructs, something I wagered was a goodwill gift from some group to the town. I couldn’t imagine the Steel Rangers were happy about them existing but they were history out here anyway.

Also, the Steel Rangers could go fuck themselves.

Ash was falling from the sky as I continued to push my refreshed body towards its destination. I heard a pony scream out and turned to see one of the smaller, scaly bastards slithering over one of the walls. I waited for the guards to scatter before aiming up at it and biting down on the battle saddle’s bit.

The volume of fire from my newly acquired guns quickly outpaced the creature’s regenerative abilities and left the Viper carved into bloody pieces at the base of the wall. I trotted on almost nonchalantly as the nearby guards stared in a mixture of horror and respect.

Thankfully there were no other nasty surprises on the way. Ponies posted at the doors recognized me and quickly waved me in before tending to their other business. I held the door open for a runner and then pushed past to see the inside of the town hall.

It had been… something before. I was at a loss as to what it might have been. The insides looked like a blend of pre and post-war construction. It must have gone through a couple of dozen partial renovations before another got started in a different part of it.

I got to a group of ponies who looked to be playing a board game with a map of the town. Given the expressions all around the table, they were clearly out of their depth.

Wonderful. Bureaucrats. Well, I won’t be talking my way through these ponies. Well, might as well face-plant into it and deal with the shit anyways. I’ll get what info I can and then take over the defence of the walls myself.

An Ocean of all ponies emerged from the crowd and stopped me before I got close, directing me to sit back a bit and watch. I must’ve stood out, as bedraggled as I imagined I was, while she was looking much better, even if she had a few bandages wrapped around likely fresh injuries.

“Been wondering where you went,” Ocean whispered. “You alright? You look a bit pale.”

That got a snort out of me, I didn’t know how anyone looked pale with our coats. “Took down the raider leader and got pretty beat up.”

“I heard about that but why didn’t you come get one of us?”

“Because I figured it would be faster to try to deal with it quickly and directly than to double back and get support,” I explained. “Also, you know how well I can cut through an enemy force.”

“You’ve done that twice now but that doesn’t make you good at it, just lucky.” She huffed in frustration. Her expression softened a moment later. “What’s up with your horn?”

Absent-mindedly I rubbed the frog of my hoof against the damaged appendage. “It was a hard fight and I’ve been pushing my magic harder than I should have the past couple of days.”

“Yeah, but —” She gently ran her hooftip down my horn to its base— “I’ve never seen a horn change this much.”

“Well, neither have I but right now it’s nothing more than a weak point on my head.” I sighed trying my magic again just to feel my horn hurt in response.

“Well… It would be good for goring with that point on it.” Ocean attempted.

“I mean… I guess, but I’d rather not test it. I feel like it would break off if I tried that.” I replied before shaking my head. “How have things been going? I kinda passed out for a while.”

My gaze went back to the table where the so-called leaders bickered about what to do.

Ocean’s gaze followed my own before answering. “It’s kinda a shitshow. As it is, how about you catch a bit of sleep? Things are calm enough right now also, Winter and Sil are helping mop up the town while we catch our collective breath.”

“And Riptide?”

“Working with Crash Cart. She’s apparently decent as a medic.”

“Good, would suck for her to get hurt when we’re trying to get her to her family as unharmed as possible.

“I reckon we got off to a rough start given how we found and treated her in the first couple hours of knowing her.” Ocean sighed.

“It’s fine, she understands why we did what we did.”

“And I understand why she did what she did. Doesn’t make me feel any less guilty.”

I let the words hang for a bit before replying. “I honestly feel a bit guilty as well, mostly for being uncertain about, well, everything with her given how she enchanted me with her voice.”

Ocean shared my worried look at that. “Well if she ever turns you against us we’ll shoot her horn off, how about that?”

“Please just tackle her and gag her.”

Ocean pondered that for a moment, biting back a comment. “You’re right that’s a better option.”

I stifled a yawn with a hoof. “I think I’m going to nod off here, mind keeping an eye on me?”

Ocean nodded. “Sure thing.”

-=O=-

The thunder of cannon fire greeted me as I was jolted awake from my nap. I was thankful for the long-lasting painkillers as I didn’t have a headache. With a bit of effort, I figured out which way was up and managed to fall out of the cot I was in. I groaned and tried my horn. The soreness that greeted me and the lack of light told me I was just a horned earth pony for the time being.

Well, that’s fine, I got trained how to fight without magic anyways. Alright plan, let us get some water and a briefing. Then we’ll figure out what I can do if anything.

With some water in me, I knew I would start to feel better in a minute. Sadly there were no magical rehydration methods, or at least none that I knew of. I fumbled with my Pipbuck and lit the room up with it.

I was in a glorified closet it seemed. I just rolled my eyes and opened the door, only to find myself in an unfamiliar part of the building. It took a few minutes to navigate back to the entrance and once I did it wasn’t long before I was back to the map room.

Winter and Ocean were relaxing at the periphery of the crowd for the moment. Winter had a few extra bandages on him compared to what I could remember when we got back to town. Ocean waved me on over which drew Winter’s attention who waved as well. Both seemed a bit groggy as if they had just woken up as well.

“Good to see you two, surprised someone carried me to a closet.” I giggled. “That’s twice now I’ve woken up in one in this town. How are you two holding up?”

“Doing good, you?” Winter replied while Ocean nodded.

“Better, definitely needed some rest.” I looked around. “How are things going here?”

“Alright. They’re arguing about what to do with the Hydra.” Ocean explained. “I think they should just kill it, to be honest. Also, we’re likely going back out to the walls in a bit.”

“What’s going on?” I asked as Winter gave me a bottle of water.

“Another wave of the snakes, though I think the two of us will stick to clearing the ones coming out of the storm drains,” Ocean explained. “I know why pony-sized storm drains were built -- gotta have a way to maintain them without digging them up -- but it’s really inconvenient right about now.”

The three of us quietly laughed.

“So where is Sil and Riptide?” I asked after my paramours.

“Sil is in the armory getting ammo and lending a hoof fixing equipment,” Winter explained. “Turns out most weapons don’t like running for hours on end.”

“I should go check on Sil. I need to check on the guns I looted and my armor is well.” I gestured to my naked self. “Yeah, to shreds.”

“Frankly, you look fine but if you’re going back out there? Yeah, put something on.” Ocean replied.

“Yeah, we’d hate to see you get even more scars.” Winter snorted as he eyed me.

I leaned my muzzle in close to his ear. I could feel the heat of his now blushing muzzle this close. “Right, you just want another reason to put your hooves everywhere on me, don’t you~” I teased.

Winter pulled back and gave me a shit-eating grin.

Then kissed me.

Now it was I who was blushing hard, more so when he broke the kiss to reveal Ocean smirking next to him as I sat there locked up. Then she kissed me as well and I felt the gears in my brain break.

“I think we broke her, hun.” Winter snorted.

“I forget sometimes she’s not that hard to tease.” Ocean giggled with her beau.

At that point, the universe decided to throw a wrench at me in the form of Sil, who had trotted over and proceeded to boop me. My lack of response made her pause and look at our two friends.

“What did you do to break my Moony?” She demanded.

“Smooched her.” Ocean giggled.

“Smooched her?” Sil said, standing between myself and the other two. “I’ll get her out of it.”

It took me a moment to figure out what she meant as she dragged me off, which wasn’t hard with her tail draped around my neck. I'd follow her anywhere when treated like this. The only thing I could have asked for was having Riptide as well in that half hour but Sil was more than enough.

Eventually, we pried ourselves from one another and went back out. Sil had given my quad cannons a good tuning and myself a far finer tuning as well, which I reciprocated.

We found ourselves standing outside town hall yet again, looking out on this town whose fate we had found ourselves embroiled in.

The ashfall was heavier now. One thing I had noticed from the reports was that the Vipers had been slowly moving down the west side of the wall. The south and southwest side turrets had been repositioned as a result.

As we both moved to the less defended portion of the wall, I rounded as many of the raiders I had recently recruited as I could. It was only a matter of time until the Vipers would begin to swarm again and we needed all the ponies I could to greet them.

Ash washed over me from the fires in the ruins as I stood alongside the defenders atop the wall, watching the carnage unfold below. Vipers slithered toward us, instinctively avoiding the fires that pushed them into convenient choke points. Mines detonated and took out the first wave. Pits opened up and killed even more vipers with the spikes that filled them.

I looked to the northwest to spot the Hydra, which was currently thrashing against a building; a leg had failed it and its tail bent oddly.

Looks like we can ignore the Hydra for now. It’s too busy fighting a… building for supremacy. Maybe to see who was fatter. It’s our good fortune that it was not a smart critter.

I felt something well up inside of me again, an unfamiliar emotion. I felt like I was going to vomit but instead, words came forth from my muzzle.

“Listen up my fellow ponies, ignore the Hydra! The fat bastard is too busy humping a building so let the cannons deal with it. Get word to the mortar teams to focus their fire on the biggest groups of Vipers. The turrets will handle the other sections of the wall while we hold this part!” I started pacing, moving down the line of defenders. “These bastards may be hardy, they may be able to regenerate wounds, but they’re dumb as fucking bricks! Fire when ready and send these scaly bastards back to Tartarus!”

The ponies around me cheered and Sil looked visibly proud of me.

My throat burned and my eyes watered from all the ash in the air, but I persevered and took up position. I zeroed in on the Vipers wiggling their way towards us and bit the bridle of my battle saddle, letting loose a burst of light machine gun fire.

I was massively unprepared for recoil, the vibrations, and the sheer THRILL of it. The first time I used it was reactive and my mind was elsewhere at the time. Now I could take in every little detail and right then and there I decided there was something about the firepower that felt nice. To see the damnable creatures before me come apart and die.

I felt myself cackling as I fired, switching from target to target and calling them out as I did. I was glad my dad taught me how to work with battle saddles and as a cherry on top my Pipbuck kept the saddle’s weapon convergence point in my vision; the circle showing me where my shots would likely land was pretty wide at this range so were the Vipers so it hardly mattered. I could tune the saddle later to get my guns more accurate if I wished to keep them with me.

My laughter ended in a bout of coughing. I paused to wipe my eyes and clear my throat of ash. The former raiders redoubled their efforts in my brief absence, which I was thankful for since it took a good bit of pressure off of me. I still needed to tone back the megalomania and glee at slaughter, even if the raiders around me seemed to enjoy it, falling in line with more zeal.

Well, I guess I am their leader in some fashion. An interim leader at least. They told me that they wanted to settle down so I wonder if they would want to follow me up to Dockland. At least I have a group of ponies out here who would have my back if I came running.

As if to punctuate the point, Sil wordlessly set a pair of goggles on my head and gave me a mask to keep me from having lungs full of ash. I smooched her which got an interesting reaction from the former raiders who cheered and hooted their approval. Despite the burning blush on my cheeks, I returned to calling targets as Sil slapped my flank with her hoof at having finished refilling my ammo feeds.

Occasionally I sent a runner to relay orders to the mortar teams. They seemed more than happy to prioritize my targets over others, and soon a trio of explosions, the first of many, wiped out a wave of Vipers before us.

Bullet casings soon formed a carpet under us and runners with ammo cans became commonplace. I found I couldn’t do more than small bursts with my absurd rig of quad light machine guns. Hours of shooting had turned my still-healing sides numb from the heavy vibrations, my ears ringing from the constant staccato of gunfire.

It was fortunate for us then that the onslaught of Vipers had stopped then. Gunfire died down everywhere throughout the town and I let out a tired sigh as a cheer erupted from all around me.

I carefully surveyed the battlefield as the smoke cleared and was horrified at how many there had been. They must have hibernated between meals and as more died even more were being woken up by the call of a feast. It didn’t help that some bodies fused and got back up. It meant we had to regularly bombard the corpses with mortar fire to prevent chimeric Vipers from regenerating in the slurry of reptilian parts.

“Half of you go and sweep the town for anything that managed to get inside. The rest can run along the walls to check what’s going on, and stick in large teams!” I barked, the ponies around me nodding and scampering off to their duties. “Oh, and a few of you stay here with me. Let’s make sure we got them all!”

A few stayed as commanded and I took the moment of peace to cycle rounds through the light machine guns, helping Sil with a round of quick maintenance while we had the chance. I knew such heavy use would require me to do more thorough cleaning when I had some time but for now, this had to suffice.

My ears flicked when I heard further cries of joy along the walls and within the town, which signaled, to me at least, that we had fought off the Vipers.

I huffed and sat on my haunches. This was slightly uncomfortable without barding because a floor composed mostly of brass casings meant there were a lot of little things that could go in many little places. Regardless, I needed to sit and catch my breath.

Take joy in even the smallest of victories.

Even when they come with your hooves caked in blood.

Now that I had a chance to relax, everything wrong with my body came rushing to remind me they existed. My sinuses were clogged with ash, my sense of taste was shot and useless, and my sense of touch was out of whack. My jaw was cramping which would make shooting difficult if more threats showed up.

As if sensing my troubles, Sil helped me flush my eyes and throat of the ash, which wasn’t pleasant but I no longer felt like I was breathing through a straw.

“We really need to get a proper mask for me,” I grumbled.

“I’ll get one when we have a chance to go by the armory. They owe us that at the very least.” She consoled me as I coughed up more mucus full of soot.

The painkillers were finally out of my system at least. It felt nice to be clean. As much as I knew how useful combat chems were I didn’t want to get hooked on any of them, especially things like Buck. Thankfully there was no reason for me to use them at the moment, even with all the soreness.

Yet I still felt the vigor, the rush that came from battle, that I needed to get more done. We had won the battle. We had slaughtered Princesses knew how many of those slithering bastards and yet my body craved more even as it slowly wound down in the newfound peace.

Food and water were soon given out to all the defenders. I ate without focus while Sil leaned against me having her own share of rations. While I couldn't taste much more than the ash still in my mouth, it was better than the constant coughing fits I was having. It helped that I was both thirsty and famished which let me take in what I needed regardless of the taste.

Okay, mental checklist time. What do we still need to do? We need to sweep the streets and I already dispatched parties to do that. We need to clear the corpses; bury the pony ones and destroy the Vipers to keep from attracting more mutant wildlife. Loot what we can drain what Hydra blood we can.

I finally looked up to where the Hydra rested. At some point, it had been struck dead by the cannons which resulted in it losing a number of heads, though those had taken a while to stop moving after being severed. The main body itself was resting against a building but I couldn’t tell if it was breathing or not from here.

I bet we could get a fair bit of Hydra blood from those severed heads alone, though, this Hydra was going to go from twelve heads to.

I counted the number of severed heads, pointing each out with my right hoof before pausing and considering other options.

The Hydra was barely alive. With only one head still connected. It would be easy to finish off but was that a good idea? This town made money off of the Hydra blood they could harvest. Then again, what was to say this thing wasn’t some kind of mutant whose heads could survive with just a bit of creativity? Actually no, the stomach is in the body. There are still plenty of Vipers. If those can reproduce then they would still have a supply of Hydra.

I chewed on the Snack Cake as I pondered. We needed a solution.

We? Was I really in any place to choose a solution for this town? Was I really to be the arbiter of its fate? The ponies here were best served by being able to continue existing, weren’t they? So wasn’t the best option to just slaughter the Hydra and have them bank the blood? That sounded reasonable. Though supposedly it fled after being injured like this so it would be a while before it became a threat again.

No, its children were the biggest issue. Each head would spawn even more soon enough. With eleven heads removed that was, what, two heads per head removed? So twenty-two new heads? Yeah, that wasn’t good given the Vipers seemed to come out of the Hydra's weeping neck sores and not its body.

Then again, nopony knew if Vipers reproduced on their own or not. If they did. Well, then the hydra question was a moot one if the Vipers could reproduce.

My train of thought derailed when the building the Hydra was lying on suddenly shifted and collapsed. Though the resulting dust cloud was further out it still made me cover my muzzle.

Another reflexive cough brought my thoughts back to how badly I needed a proper facemask. Full face protection would be useful in so many more situations than I had thought back in Saint Clover. Airborne radiation, airborne toxins, dust, smoke, ash, tear gas. Okay probably not tear gas but at the same time I hadn’t expected to be in a town under siege by raiders and then a Hydra.

At this point I had to be ready for anything and a nice full face, gas mask was at the top of the list. Or at the very least a new filtered mask for my muzzle. Sil’s offer to drop by the armory got more tempting by the moment.

Regardless, the little distraction was what I needed to gather my thoughts.

Even if I wasn’t in a position to be the arbiter of this town’s fate I still want a damn insurance policy for that Hydra. Just in case the winds of fate decided to blow against my sails once more.

Hedging bets as they say.

Sil was leaning against me as we relaxed, her nose pressed against my neck as she too took a breather. I looked her over as a minor distraction from the events of the day. Part of me wanted to say fuck it and take her back to our room, let the town sort this out. Perhaps even swing by the clinic, drag Riptide along too, grab some cider, and fuck off for the night.

Reluctantly I turned to the ponies still around me. “Stay here, I’m going to find some explosives,” I explained to the ponies around me who looked almost excited. “Just in case, I want something I can shove down that Hydra's damn gullet so we can give it the worst case of heartburn in Equestrian history.”

I looked up at the Hydra again. In its new position, I could see that it was still breathing, its neck oozing from injuries and the cysts that gestated more Vipers. For now, it was resting, regenerating, though I knew that wouldn’t last for long. We needed a way to drive the fucker off when it got back up.

And I just don’t trust that fucker to cooperate either. That bastard is going to wake up hungry and angry so I’m going to need some bait.

I already knew what was going to be the bait, even if I was going to say otherwise while explaining things. I needed to make certain things went off without a hitch otherwise I would then have to work on a backup plan and that would get somepony killed.

So I was going to be bait. Get the bastard’s attention when it woke up and run away with the fucker chasing me back to the crater in the Mill then blow another leg off before hightailing it out of there before it could regrow it.

“Moony?” Sil asked.

“Explosives,” I replied as we trotted along to requisition said explosives.

If the Hydra got up and resumed its assault I was sure the cannons could put it down, assuming they got a lucky hit and took off the last head or blew out its heart. Well, that’s if it couldn’t regenerate from just a torso or husk. I shuddered at the thought of something being able to revive from just bits and pieces. It was borderline unkillable unless we pulped the fucker.

That wasn’t an option I wanted to consider.

“Delivery system?” Sil asked.

“Bait,” I answered.

“Meat?” Sil asked as runners sprinted past us.

“Yep, moving too,” I answered.

“No.” She stopped me as I eyed a pocket of miasma drifting about near the town hall.

“Yes.” I sighed. “It’s not like we have a giant string to pull it along. It isn’t like fishing.”

“I’m not letting you be bait!” She snarled, which startled me.

After a moment to collect myself I responded. “Well, if you can find me a living radhog I’d go with that. As it is for now, someone's going to have to run away from it.”

“Why?” Sil hissed. “We could just do a remote bomb on a bunch of bodies.”

“Do you want a possibly really pissed off really hurt regenerating hydra that spawns snakes next to town?” I asked her.

“No, no I don’t, but there are plenty here who can do it!” She was yelling now, gathering a small, confused crowd. Apparently, this also caught the attention of Winter, Ocean, and Riptide who happened to be trotting away from the town hall.

“What’s going on?” Ocean asked.

“She wants to be bait for luring the hydra away.” Sil snapped.

I groaned. “Yes, by running with a bomb and dragging it away from town before blowing it up.”

“Is your magic even working?” Riptide asked.

I tested it and winced as the magic flowed weakly. “Enough to levitate a bomb off my back into its mouth while running.”

“So you’re planning on dying.” Sil prodded.

I blinked and realized how things looked as everyone was glaring at me. “What? No, fuck no! Dying is not part of the plan, nor is getting all that close to its mouth. I just need it to see me as easy prey and follow me a few blocks before tossing the bomb in its mouth and letting it choke on it.”

Riptide locked eyes with me and then spoke slowly. “You are not going off to get yourself killed.”

I really wasn’t trying to nor would I let myself get killed if at all possible.

“I am not going to let myself get killed,” I repeated and then blinked feeling a little off.

She continued. “You are not going to kill yourself.”

“I am not going to kill myself,” I repeated, the odd feeling was gone this time.

She nodded. “Good, now how about we come up with a better plan with the same objectives?”

Level Up! Welcome to Level 6! Thanks to stacking the bodies high you’ve earned a new level and perk! Also thanks to all this slaying you’ve gained a good deal of practice with firearms so now you’re now faster with reloading. But that’s not all! You’ve gained finesse with your firearms! Reloading, swapping guns, or switching ammo now costs one AP less to a minimum of one. Speed loaders are now a joke to you. Looks like you’ll just have to sell them off now, won’t you? Hmm?