Run For Your Lives Its: Pinkie Pie Vs. Discord
Comedy War
"A warm sunny day in Ponyville all is as it normally is wa..wait what is happening gahh"
"That's enough of that narrator. I think it is time for a little chaos. Hahahaha"
Ponies are out enjoying their day when a flash of magic changes all of Ponyville. The ground turns plaid the houses start to fly and large pink cotton candy clouds appear raining chocolate rain. The sky turns into a lime green. A marching band of dancing candle sticks and fish gravy boats squirting gravy at passing ponies in the face. Laughter is heard throughout the air as a flower grows and spirals into Discord.
"Discord!" Screamed Twilight Sparkle at the top of her lungs. Several books were flying off of the selves and the banners decorating the halls all changed to ridiculous poses of Twilight Sparkle from her snoring to picking her snout. Applejack, Rarity come stumbling into the crystal castle as soap suds covered their hooves making it impossible to walk. Rainbow Dash followed behind flying like a drunk as one of her wings was now double it's normal size making it hard to fly. "Girls! What's going on why is Discord doing this?"
"Shucks Twi heck if we knew I was just buckin some apples next thing I know all my trees get all rubbery an like makin it darn near impossible to buck em." Applejack states as she tries to catch her balance with aid from a chair.
"Yeah and I was in the middle of some awesome tricks! Next thing I know one of my wings grows twice in size and throws me into one of those cotton candy clouds. Yuck!" Rainbow Dash replies as she tries to balance herself but winds up slamming into a bookcase.
" What about you Rarity?" Twilight asks as she tries to help Applejack
"Sorry darling I don't know anything either. I was at home designing my new ensemble then out of nowhere one of those gravy boats bursts in and starts spitting gravy all over my new dresses." Rarity uses her magic to summon her fainting couch and as such faints into it.
"Ugh Rarity now isn't the time for overdramatic scenes! Where is Fluttershy? She can usually get Discord to calm down."
"Shes outa town visiting her parents or somtin" answered Applejack as she finally gets her hooves under her to which then immediately falls face first.
"What?! Of all the time to be absent!" Screamed Twilight
A high pitched giggle pierces the air making the mares run outside to see Pinkie Pie sliding all around town popping up from one corner to an opposite corner through one door only to reappear spinning on her cotton candy tail like a waxer on a rooftop laughing as she causes more damage in three seconds than the twenty seconds of Discord magic it took to cause all of Ponyville to become a madhouse. Pinkie pie stops right in front of the mares as she slows to a stop.
"Hi ya girls! Isn't this just the funniest thing you've ever seen?!" Pinkie Pie asks as her eyes finally start to reset themselves from spinning. Big Mac floats by flailing his legs as he slowly spins in the air followed by him barking like a dog. "Hahahahahahaha! Too funny!" Chortles Pinkie.
Discord materializes out of thin air "I know right. Here I was in my interdimensional pocket of space just thinking about how boring life is for the ponies of Ponyville so I just flew in and decided to liven things up a little."
He brings a shrub to life to which it starts to jump up and down. A cotton candy cloud quickly hovers above the mares and starts to downpour chocolate milk which Pinkie Pie swiftly guzzles it down like the glutten that she is and belches.
"Discord! This is not acceptable change Ponyville back right this instant!" Demanded Twilight Sparkle
" Oh of course what was I thinking. As you wish your majesty." Discord bows deeply. With that a flash of magic covers Ponyville and everything starts to go backwards. Making Pinkie Pie laugh hard. " At least some pony around here is having fun. Well look at the time." A clock wizzes by Twilight and company's heads." I'd say its time for me to leave arrivederci" Discord teleports.
"What are we going to do? That Discord is a menace." Rarity asks.
" Leave it to Pinkie pie." Pinkie Pie salutes with a whip cream beard on her face which no pony knows how it even got there in the first place. Then jumps in the air does a 180 degree turn and begins to drill through the ground using her hair as a drill bit.
"That pony is so random." Rainbow Dash says blankly
"Oh come on Pinkie Pie is just... yeah she's just high spirited is all. It's not like she can make it any worse" retorted Applejack. The ponies look each other in the face for a few seconds then rush back inside the castle deadbolt the door and bar up the windows.
Pinkie Pie hums a cheery tune as she bounces down the street while ponies around her are panicking, she stops in the center of town square grabs a bull horn out of her mane takes a deep breath and yells into the bull horn.
"What do you get when you cross a duck with a dog? A quwackgurr.. get it? Because it sounds like cracker." The ponies stop doing what they were doing to stare at Pinkie pie with confusion. " Don't like that one then how about this? Why did the cherry turn on the radio? So it could do the cherrychanga! Hahahhaha" The crowd just stands there totally lost at what is going on."Geeze tough crowd."
"You have no idea." Replied Discord as he materializes out of a nearby lamppost. "It's like they don't know what comedy is? Here I am giving them some of my best material and they just don't get it. Maybe they just don't like to laugh? "
"I don't know about that Dissy. It is kind of my thing to keep the ponies of Ponyville happy."
"Well it seems like you haven't been doing your job. Maybe I should take over?"
"What?! You think you can do better then me? I'd like to see you try!"
"Oh Pinkie Pie your on."
With a snap of his claw a flash of light and all the ponies in Ponyville are standing in front of a impromptu stage. Two mics and stools are center stage. Discord sticks his head out of a pocket dimension. "Greeting ladies and germs. You ever notice how when there is a disaster Twilight Sparkle thinks she has to make it better but only makes it worst? What's the deal there you'd think that being taught by princess Celestia would make her good at magic am I right." Silence followed by a mare coughing. Discord snaps his fingers and all the inanimate objects start applauding. "Thank you thank you your too kind."
Pinkie pie pops out of a mare's mane with a mic suspended by her mane. "Helloooo Poonyville! You having a good time? So I was walking down the street when I saw a stallion throwing out his lunch, This was like totally weird right? so I go and ask him what is he doing and he says. His marefriend wanted to go out to eat." Silence followed by cricket noises. "Geeze guys don't you like jokes?"
" I told you you're not doing your job." scoffs Discord
"That's it! Time to bring out the big guns." Pinkie pie replies through gritted teeth while grabbing her party cannon. A song begins to play.
Two mares are walking towards Ponyville one a yellow pegasus and the other a somber grey earth pony. Much to their alarm ponies were ducking for cover as pies and cakes were flying through the air as well as confetti and balloons. There were shrubs and fish boats fighting each other and in the center of town was pinkie pie and Discord singing some over the top musical number smeared with pastries and confetti.
"What's going on here?" asked the pegasus as she drops her luggage. The musical number stops abruptly making Pinkie Pie and Discord stop midair. Pinkie stops playing her one mare marching band while Discord evaporates his top hat. Their guilt plainly on their faces like dogs getting in the trash.
"Well you see Discord and I were having a friendly competition of jokes but I guess I got carried away." Laughed Pinkie pie
"Jokes my favorite." stated the stoic mare
"Oh no not you." States Discord looking at Maud Pie. To which Maud simply blinks at him very slowly.
"Maud! What you are doing here?" Pinkie Pie exclaims as she gives her big sister a big hug. To which Maud reciprocates.
" I was on my way into Ponyville to surprise. I see you're having some fun do you mind if I join?"
"Sure! The more the merrier!"
"Great. What did the boulder say to the other boulder? Nothing boulders aren't sentient and are incapable of talking." Ponies start laughing up a storm making Discord mad." Did you enjoy that? How bout this one? What is black and grey and rough all over? Due to the infinite nature of the universe many items of both nature and manufactured could be described in this manner" Ponies start busting out laughing Discord turns red.
"Oh come on! These jokes aren't even funny!"
" Unlike your face" Ponies start crying from laughter
Discord snaps and turns all of Ponyville back to it's normal state." I'm done playing its no longer any fun." Discord crosses his arms and pouts
"And the narrator?" Maud Pie asks blankly
"Oh fine." Discord snaps his fingers
"Oh geeze thank you Maud Discord was holding me captive in his pocket dimension it was brrrrrr."
"You are welcome mister narrator. Now please do your thing."
"Right! And so the day was saved thanks to your friendly neighborhood anti comedian Maud Pie. Until next time stay frosty folks."
Author's Note
sorry if this is a little rough comedy is not my forte. the anti jokes are not mine I just tweaked them a little to fit Maud
Cover art is by http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/File:Discord_Wired_preview.png
