Jeff The Undistinguished

by Portable Dingus

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Other, Lyra, Comedy, Random, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 6626

Jeff's just an average guy, who goes about his average activities.

Jeff was always the most plain, and average of guys; never in all his years did he ever do better than okay. He got straight C's in school, and even passed his exit examination in high school with the bare minimum requirements. He was the mid-popular guy, never switching between unliked, and loved. Destined forever to be another bare face in the crowd.

After moving out of his parents house—a trailer with just enough cleanliness to pass a federal health inspection—he went out to Walmart to stock up on goods.

Reaching into the back of the freezer in order to grab the freshest milk, he fell in and found himself in the middle of a small, quaint town filled with talking ponies.

Published 2016-02-12 03:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-13 19:24:34 UTC

The Freshest Milk

Thump, Thump.

Tremors shook the foundations of the earth as ponies left and right fled for their lives. A flash of blue, a flash of magenta, even a flash of yellow. All shades of ponies were in a frantic, frenzy. Fleeing for their lives as a giant four-headed hydra stomped through their town.

Crack! Crrrrr!

A house fell before the sheer weight of the titanic beast, becoming nothing but a pile of rubble that used to be a pony’s domicile.

“Oh dear, Celestia!” Screamed Lyra Heartstrings, as she fled through the streets alongside her fellow country-ponies. Sweat flowing down the sides of her face in exhaustion.

“This is like, what, the third time this year? Why did I ever move from Canterlot!” She closed her eyes, speeding through the town in chaos as fast has her dainty hooves could take her.

“Waaaaaahhh!” A scream reverberated through the air, hitting her ears like a jackhammer in a construction zone. She stopped in her tracks to see if anypony had gotten hurt, scared to see one of her friends meeting their fate at the aforementioned beast.

Looking every which way, she couldn’t trace where the noise was coming from. The screaming got closer, and closer, until it reached a crescendo. Ears flickering, Lyra knew where the noise was coming from. She looked up to see a blur of green, blue, and peach-yellow, before being struck by the very being who was screaming.

“Humph.” The being landed with a hard thud, his fall faintly cushioned by the pony below him.

Lyra laid flat on her back, her hooves spread to their sides. Shaking her head to wake herself from her stupor, she opened her eyes to see what exactly hit her just then.

She swallowed with an audible gulp.

Laying right on top of her, was a creature she only dreamed of meeting. A creature that always fascinated her, and was read to her by her mother as a bedtime story. The creature that now laid on her, was none-other than the mythical creature known as a human being.

The human shook his head, rubbing a sore spot on his back before propping himself up with his arms. Opening his eyes, he was greeted by a sight that he would've never guessed of seeing. He was looking straight at the eyes of a colorful, big-eyed, cartoonish-looking, pony.

In this situation, he could only think of the most articulate of words to utter.

“Uhhh… What?”

* * * *

The squeaky noise of a Walmart shopping cart pierced Jeff’s ears as he made his way down the dairy products aisle. Stopping in front of a freezer; the item next on his list laid behind the contraptions cold, frosty compartment.

Opening up the freezer, he looked around to see if he could find the brand of milk he liked—two percent milk. Finding it on the middle shelf, he extended a arm to reach in the back of the freezer in order to retrieve the freshest one.

“Huh?” Jeff questioned. Patting around, he felt nothing in the back of the freezer. Deciding to take a closer look, he moved his head towards the freezer, squinting his eyes.

“Hmm, Hmm.” Hummed a little girl as she walked down the very same aisle, not paying attention to the environment around her.

“Strange, there seems to be no milk in the back.” He thought aloud to himself, puzzled by the lack of fresh milk in the freezer.

Before he could return back to his cart, the little girl who made her way down the aisle accidentally bumped into his cart. The kinetic force sending it rolling towards Jeff.

“Humph… W-Whoa!” Jeff fell forward, crashing straight into the freezer. Strangely enough, the shelves of milk pushed inwards as he crashed into them. The freezer consuming him like its afternoon lunch.

Falling completely into the frozen food container, he closed his eyes as he expected to hit the back of the machine in a moments notice. After a moment, he noticed that he didn't hit anything at all, and instead was still falling. The coldness of the freezer replaced by the warm, solace of the sun's light shining upon his back.

“Wait, what?” He said in shock, as he opened his eyes.

“No, no, no, no, no, nooooooo!” He yelled as he fell from the sky, completely flabbergasted and frightened over his current predicament.

“Waaaaaahhh!” He screamed his lungs out as he fell onto the hard ground below. Though, he took note of the lump of slight softness that seemed to break his fall just a bit.

“mmmm” He drooled in a his daze. He then shook his head, before rubbing a sore spot on his back. After that, he propped himself up with his arms, opening his eyes to gaze upon yet another surprising sight.

What laid under him was a horse like creature of sorts, except this equine was more colorful, and vibrant than a crayola coloring kit.

“Uhhh… What?” He uttered out, unsure what to think at the moment. The last couple seconds of his life being a extravagant roller coaster.

Lyra—the pony under him—beamed, forgetting the current catastrophe that was taking place. “A-a-a Human.” She squealed lightly, her face lighten up like a firework on the fourth of July.

Jeff—for his part—Remained as stoic as he could in his current situation. His face remaining blank, that was until he notice the position he currently was in.

Lyra also took notice of this, blushing redder than a rip apple plucked straight off a tree from Sweet Apple Acres. With her legs spread apart, and the way Jeff appeared above her. It looked like he was about to come onto her, and do something lewd.

Wiggling out from under him, she stood up and said, “I c-can’t believe it. A real life human!”

Jeff as well stood up, finally coming to his senses. “A-a talking horse!” He pointed a finger at her, his jaw dropped, along with the look of pure shock plastered across his features.

Lyra pouted a little, her cheeks puffing out. “Rude… I’m a pony just to let you know.” Not letting his outburst ruffle her too much, she walked closer to him, taking a good look at his form.

Jeff wore a green short-sleeved shirt, along with a pair of blue jeans. His face being about as average as a face could get; nothing in particular stood out about him. Lyra on the other hand, saw him in another light. To her, everything about him stood out.

“That only makes it stranger…” He said lowly, still recovering from the suddenness of the situation.

Poking at his leg, Lyra giggled a little. “Heeheehee. This is so going to make Bon Bon freak.”

Staring down at her, Jeff spoke his thoughts aloud. “Well, put this on the list of weirdest things to happen in Walmart…”

Lyra stopped poking him to look up at him with her head tilted. “Walmart… What’s that, oh gosh I have so many questions!” Shuffling about in euphoria, Lyra resembled a kid who just got the present they wanted for Christmas.

“It’s a—

Before Jeff could respond to the gleeful Pony, a thundering thump shook the ground that they stood on.

Lyra audibly gulped. “Oh yeah… that's right.”

Looking at the pale, mood changed pony, Jeff couldn't help but ask. “What’s right.”

As if on cue, a roar shook the very foundations of their beings as the hydra that was terrorizing the town stood towering a good fifty or so feet away from them.

“Sweet Jesus on a pancake, what is that!” He looked towards the colossal beast, his heart sinking in his chest.

Lyra turned to look at the monstrosity herself. “Yeah, forgot about that…”

“We should be running right about now.”

“Yes, yes we should.”

In a blink of an eye, the both of them took off speeding down the street as fast as their legs could carry them. Lyra slightly ahead of Jeff due to her having a four legged advantage.

“I certainly don’t remember this being a part of the Walmart attraction!” Yelled Jeff in a panic, his mediocre shape lead him to already be tired out.

“Less talking, more running” Yelled Lyra back at him.

He ran, he ran with all the strength a man who never excelled in any physical sport could—very poorly, and with a hint of frailness.

“Come on, my grandmother can ran better than that!” Lyra insulted him, not all too happy with his poor running skills.

“I’m sorr-y-y-yyyyy…” He replied to her in a whiny voice.

“Hold on, I’m gonna try something.” Lyra spoke to him, hollering for him to halt.

Jeff kept on running. Though, that was until he rammed straight into Lyra. Falling over, the both of them quickly got back up. “What’s the deal?” Jeff asked, reasonably panicked at her sudden stop.

“Just give me a moment, you’ll see.” Lyra insisted, her horn starting to glow slightly.

Jeff turned around, frighten over what he saw. The hydra from before was almost upon them, ready to take them into its gullet with one swift move of its heads.

“Whatever it is, you better do it quick!” He yelled at her, shaking in fear.

“Just… hold… on… one… moment… longer…” She said to him with a strained voice, her horn glowing like a hundred fireflies.

Jeff was transfixed on her horn, perplexed at what exactly it was doing. “Wait, you’re a—”

Jeff didn't get to finish his sentence, as he was whisked away just before the hydra could sweep its heads down to snatch them up.

* * * *

Reappearing with a golden flash, Jeff’s cheeks pushed out as upchuck made its way up his throat. Turning around, he let his stomach's contents spill all over the ground.

“W-what just happened?” He asked panting, wiping the remnants of his lunch from earlier off his cheek as he stared at Lyra with wide eyes.

“I used a teleportation spell to save our flanks.” She said with her chest puffed out, proud of her feat of magic. “And just in the nick of time too.” She wiped a bead of sweat from her brow, happy to be a good distance from the titan.

Jeff looked around noticing that he was in an alleyway, the sound of thundering footsteps far off in the distance. “Wha, how… you know what? After how strange this day has turned out to be already, I really shouldn't be surprised.”

“Heeheehee.” Lyra giggled a little, amused by his antics.

“Soooooo, what was that you just did exactly?” Asked Jeff as he sat down to rest.

Sitting on her haunches in return, Lyra explained to him. “That was magic, what, you never seen magic before?”

“No, no I have not.” Deadpanned Jeff.

Lyra’s face contorted with astoundment, taken aback by his lack of knowledge over something so trivial it’s like breathing air. “Wait, really.”

“Yes, really.” Jeff said flatly.

“That’s so weird.” She took a pondering appearance.

“Yeah… I could say the same thing.”

Suddenly pouncing on top of him, Lyra basically shouted. “You got to tell me more about yourself; about humans!”

Grunting from the sudden invasion of his personal space, he could only reply with what first came to his head. “Whoa, hey. Is this really the time to be curious, I mean sure, I got my questions too, but there’s a giant multi-headed monster out there, and this is what’s concerning you?”

Getting off of him—blushing slightly—Lyra replied with. “Sorry… it’s just I've always wished of meeting a real life human ever since I was a filly.” She pawed at the ground with her hoof. “Though, my family and friends said they were just fairy tales, I never believed them. The stories... they were just so real.”

Rubbing his head in thought, Jeff replied to her confession. “This is so surreal.” His head throbbed with pain, both from the recent teleportation, and the shock of the situation around him. His brain working at its full capacity—Which isn't very impressive—to make heads and tails of everything around him.

“Hey Miss Pony lady, I never got your name?” He asked, deciding not to think too hard about the wackiness of the world.

“Oh, yeah. That’s right, I’m sorry my name’s Lyra Heartstring’s; you? She walked up to him, hoof raised out for a shake.

Bending down to shake her hoof, he responded. “The name’s Jeff.”

“Jeff? Strange name.” She chirped.

“Yeah…” He blankly said.

Hearing a menacing roar erupted from the other side of the town, Jeff protested in fear. “How exactly are we gonna deal with that! That’s definitely no prairie dog…”

“Usually Twilight and her batch of friends deal with monsters and other catastrophes like this, while the rest of us try to hold out as long as we can till they do. Problem is, they happen to be out of town at the moment…”

“Ah huh, well that’s a kick in the head.

“Yeah… So the best we can do is try to hold out, or flee as best we can.”

“So the plan is just to get as far away as possible? I’m liking the sound of that.” He began to walk out of the alley, the side facing away from the giant monstrosity.

“Wait!” Lyra shouted for him to stop.

“What?” He asked.

“We can’t just leave, there's still ponies in there fleeing for their lives. We can’t just up and abandon them.”

He looked over himself, and then spread his arms out presenting himself to her. “I don’t know what you’re expecting from me, I’m not exactly a knight in shining armor.”

“Yeah… but…. we can’t just do that to them, it’s not right.” Lyra said looking down, her features contorting into a frown.

Feeling a strong sense of guilt build up in his stomach, Jeff looked back and forth between her and the end of the alleyway. On one of his turns around to look at her, she was giving him the biggest puppy dog eyes.

Sighing, he finally said. “Fine, I’ll help you. But as soon as I do, you better help me out with getting back home. I can only handle so much weird in one day.”

Jumping up and down, happy with successfully persuading him to help. She said to him mirthfully. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” She went up on her hind legs to give him a hug.

“Yeah… no problem.” He said while she hugged him, rubbing the back of his neck.

Releasing her grip around him, she said. “Sooooooo… got any ideas?”

Jeff just face palmed.

* * * *

Hiding behind a turned over carriage, Lyra and Jeff took a peek over to view the hydra that was seventy or so feet away from them.

“Tell me again why I agreed to this?” Whispered Jeff.

“Because your a good human.” Lyra replied back to him.

Jeff sighed. “Unfortunately so.”

“Oh, hush it.”

“So, we just stick to the plan?” Jeff asked, really not wanting to do what he was about to do.

“Yep.”

“No alterations or last second thoughts.” He started to sweat.

“Not really.”

“I was afraid you'd say that.” He turned to look at her. “Ready?”

She nodded.

“Well, here goes nothing.”

Removing himself from behind the carriage, Lyra followed him. They stood in front of the carriage, giving each other one final nod before continuing on with the idiotically, foolish stunt they were about to attempt.

“Hey, ugly!” They yelled in unison.

The hydra heard the mosquito like voices of the pair, and promptly stopped its current rampaging to look at where the noise had come from. Seeing the same beings who barely escaped its hungry stomach from before, the colossal beast gave a earth shattering roar from each of its four heads before charging at them.

Sticking to the plan they thought up moments before, the two began to flee the scene. Leaving behind the prayers they said internally.

“Running, running, running!” Yelled Jeff in fright. “So which way is the way out of town.”

“Froggy Bottom Bog is this way, that’s where we're going to lure him. Now stop talking and run!”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.”

They ran, they ran with all the might they could muster. In this case, Jeff mustered all the strength of a toddler learning how to walk. His general lack of running skills made him regret skipping out on gym class.

They ran by other ponies along the way: they dove out of the way behind cover. Hiding from the towering behemoth that raced after the two numskulls who triggered its rage.

Sometimes there was a rock, sometimes they would stumble, all the time Jeff cried his eyes out saying over and over again. “We’re gonna die...”

“We are not, just keep running; trust me.” Lyra encouraged her partner, even though she was having her own doubts at the moment.

There was a stick in the middle of the path they currently were running down. It glowed with a mysterious aura, holding a power that held depths of magical strength.

Jeff—Like the unperceptive, buffoon he was—Tripped over it. Falling face first onto the ground with an audible, “Humph.”

Lyra turned to Jeff, her heart sinking as she feared that the sudden stop would cost them their lives. “Jeff, get up! Please, we gotta move!”

The magical aura that enveloped the stick like a nebulous cloud, resonated with the brightness that Lyra’s horn displayed earlier. It reached a climax when a beam of energy erupted from its tip, making its way straight towards the hydra’s heads.

The beast merely moved its heads out of the way, successfully dodging the magical beam of energy. The hydra gave the two a smug grin, that displayed on each and everyone of its heads.

The onlooking ponies stared at the beam, which flew into the sky. That was until it hit a gem that was being carried by a bird flying over head. It ricocheted off its reflective surface and soared towards the ground, hitting a mirror that lay shattered on the ground, bouncing off its surface and hitting the Hydra straight in the rear.

The monstrosity lit up with the same color aura as the beam that struck him, as each of its heads winced in pain. The beast slowly started to shrink, it’s size decreasing with each passing second.

Jeff’s, Lyra’s, along with the rest of the ponies in the town jaws dropped. Not believing what they were witnessing.

Jeff looked to his side to see a cart, on it was written in bold letters. "Property of Canterlot’s mysterious magical artifacts emporium."

“Huh… well, what do you know.”

Standing up, Lyra and Jeff walked over to the now minute, little hydra.

“I can’t believe it…” Lyra lightly said.

“Yeah… talk about a lucky break.” Jeff uttered, completely at a loss for something of real merit to say. Too transfixed at the little devil that stood before them.

He saw a bottle laying on the ground beside him, so he decided to pick it up and scoop the little hydra in it. Sealing the creature inside with the cap.

He presented it to Lyra. “See, cute in there isn’t he?” He joked.

“Heeheehee…” Lyra shallowly giggled, still shocked over the unbelievable luck they just had.

The ponies who were in hiding, stepped out from their hiding spots to crowd around the two—mostly Jeff. They were silent for a bit, but one pony in the crowd broke it by shouting. “Cheers for the mysterious hero thing!”

“Wait, what?” Jeff questioned, but all he got for an answer was the ponies lifting him into the air. Carrying him through town shouting. “Hip, hip, hurray!”

Lyra laughed loudly, her chortles bringing a smile upon her face. “Hip, hip hurray!” She chimed in, happy to be alive, and thankful for Jeff’s clumsiness.

As he was carried through town, Jeff screamed. “Somebody help me, please!”

The ponies just ignored him, carrying him in cheer. Thankful for his deeds, albeit accidental they were.

Unexpected Hitchhiker's

Beeps, and boops carried throughout the air of Golden Oaks Library. Interfaces from several machines chimed, and made operating noises. Twilight Sparkle had Jeff hooked up to multiple machines, data spewing out of them.

“This is so strange, everything seems to all read normal, but how can that be. You’re human, nothing about you should be normal.” Twilight went on, ranting about the unordinary data she was gathering.

“I can say the same about you miss, talking ponies aren’t exactly a normal occurrence from where I’m from.”

Twilight went up to him, examining him with her keen scientific eyes. “Where you’re from, hmmmm…”

“Yeah… why are you giving me that loo—Ooouchhh!” He was cut off with Twilight poking a needle into his arm, using it to draw his blood.

Twilight then ran the blood to another machine, examining its contents.

“That hurt…” Jeff let a single tear out.

Meanwhile Lyra sat on her haunches, watching Twilight examine Jeff with amusement. “Heeheehee.”

After the machine that examined Jeff’s blood finished its analysis, Twilight quickly read over the results. “No, no, no. This can’t be right!” She groaned in annoyance. “Why is everything coming up normal? This isn’t right, everything about this isn’t right.”

She turned to look at Lyra. “Where did you say you met him again?”

“He fell from the sky.” She replied to Twilight’s question.

Twilight replied to her question blankly. “Lyra, please… if there is anything else you can elaborate on, this would be the most crucial part.” She was practically begging for some reasonable explanation for this atrocity to the scientific world. Everything about what she learned since she was a filly didn’t add up with how, and why Jeff was here in her Library.

“I’m sorry, Twilight. That’s all I know, it’s best if you ask Jeff. After all, he was the one who fell from the sky, besides, I would love to know more about him...” She formed a wicked grin, her curiosity with the human controlling the better part of her judgement.

Twilight quickly turned around to face the human, her eyes as big as dinner plates. “You heard her, please, pleeeeease. Tell me how you ended up here, I need to know!” A strand of hair on her head popped up, making her look nuttier than a squirrel's acorn collection.

With a sheepish grin, and a bead of sweat rolling down the side of his head. Jeff replied to her desperate question. “If you didn’t hook me up to these machines the moment you realised I was a human, I would have been more than happy to help.”

Twilight’s left eye twitched, as her eyes flickered.

Jeff gulped. “S-sorry… To put it simply, I fell into a freezer.”

Twilight replied in a shaky voice, more hairs on her head popping loose. “Elaborate…”

Jeff started to sweat more furiously. “Please don’t hurt me…” He stuttered out before continuing. “I was at Walmart, and I was stocking up on goods for the new house I just moved into. I was reaching into the back of a freezer in the dairy aisle, trying to grab the freshest milk. When all of a sudden, my shopping cart rammed into me, and I fell forward into the shelves of milk. I just expected to hurt myself on the back of the freezer, but, well... I was wrong. Instead I just landed in the middle of this town.” He pointed a finger at Lyra. “On top of her.”

Twilight turned to look at Lyra, who was awkwardly grinning. Hoping that she wouldn’t be subjected to Twilight’s madness.

As Twilight turned back to face Jeff, Lyra let out a long sigh of relief.

“Lyra… remember how I told you I’d help you with the hydra if you used your magic to send me back home?” Jeff asked scared.

She nodded her head in response.

“Yeah... right now would be a good time to do so.”

Hearing this, Twilight asked. “Jeff, where exactly are you from.” She looked into Jeff's very soul, pleading with every fiber of her being for an answer that made sense. Something to cling onto and claim as a plausible explanation for the absolutely bizarre occurrence that happened while she was out of town.

Hoping his answer would quench the insatiable, curious, and down right control freak of a pony in front of him. He told her honestly. “I’m from a small town on the planet Earth; there’s really not much to say. I’m not really an important person, just a regular ol’ smo.”

“Planet Earth!” The mare basically shouted after hearing Jeff say those words.

Jeff winced from her outburst, afraid of what she was going to do next.

“Jeff, hold still. I’m going to take off all this equipment and run one last test.”

Jeff whimpered, his face turning pale. He felt his heart sink as he feared for what the mare in front of him was about to do. More afraid of what she would do if he didn’t comply, he did as she told him to do, and held completely still. As the equipment he was ensnared in released him from its suffocating grasp, he was levitated onto his feet from the chair he sat on by Twilight's magical grip.

“W-what are you doing, Twilight?” He asked, feeling strange sensation run through his entire being. “T-t-this feels so weird…”

Twilight’s hair slowly started to fall back into its rifull place, her wacky appearance returning to the more sophisticated mare from before. A smile reached from one ear to another on her face, the first sign of happiness from the mare since she took Jeff into her home to run tests on him. “I got it!”

Noticing the change in Twilight’s behavior, Lyra found it safe to walk up beside the mare and ask. “Got what?”

“I finally figured out what makes Jeff appearance here so abnormal.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, Jeff asked Twilight. “So, what makes me so special?”

“The truth is.” She started. “Jeff here is not really from this world, in fact, he’s from an entirely different world.” Twilight started to giddily jump up in down in excitement over her discovery.

Lyra let out a gasp of astonishment. “R-really, another world? How cool!”

“Eh, makes sense. Non of this would be found outside a cartoon from where I'm from.” Jeff apathetically said. “So, exactly how does this other world thing work?”

Twilight stopped her prancing to give an explanation for her finding. “Well, it’s quite simple really. You see, there are multiple universes in the entirety of everything. At least in theory. Let’s imagine it as bubbles all lined up around each other, sometimes they would bump or grind against one another; that’s exactly what happened here.” She pointed at the human. “Jeff, when you fell into that freezer, you happened to fall straight into the points in space-time where our two universes brushed against each other.” Her smile couldn’t be any bigger even if it tried.

Trying to wrap his brain around her scientific explanation, he simply just had to shrug his shoulders and say. “Oh, I guess that makes sense.” Thinking it’s better to sound like he understood her, rather than be made a fool of.

Lyra also found it hard to wrap her mind around, but did as Jeff and simply went along with Twilight’s explanation. “That’s… strange.” She giggled. “Heeheehee. Still, a real life human is here, and that is simply so amazing!” Her eyes sparkled with mirth, as she stared at Jeff. Happy to have met him.

“Well, now that this is all figured out, would you mind sending me back home now, Lyra. I really want to go back, I think I may have left my water running.” He shuddered at the thought of how large his water bill would be.

Lyra blushed from embarrassment, and along with a bit of guilt. “About that.” She lowered her head to face the ground. “ I may have told a little fib to get you you help me…” She said lowly.

“You what!” He yelled at her, upset over hearing that she lied to him.

“D-don’t worry, though.” She said before pointing to the mare beside her. “Twilight here is a master at magic. If there’s anypony who can help you get home, it’s her,”

At hearing those words, Twilight’s euphoric happiness from before crashed, and burned in a sea of hell fire, while also being salted and having lemon juice squeezed on it. “Oh, no…” She said as her heart sank into an abyss of empathy. “I’m so sorry…”

Jeff and Lyra looked at each other, concerned for the sudden change in tone from Twilight.

“Twilight, what’s the matter?” Asked Jeff worried for not only her, but what her change in demeanor meant for him.

“I-I-I… I can’t send you back.” She said slowly, looking away from him in shame.

“W-w-what do you mean by that, Twilight… What do you mean you can’t send me back.” Jeff started to shake a little, fearful over being stuck here in this unfamiliar land forever.

“I mean… the only way I can send you anywhere is if your home was in this realm of existence. Even then, the amount of magic it takes for me to send anything large distances is ludicrous in of itself, but this? I simply can’t, there is no spell I know of that can help you return home.” She looked at him with sympathetic eyes. “I’m so sorry… I wish there was something I can do, but I simply can’t.”

Lyra slumped backwards, landing on her haunches. She felt an ocean's worth of sympathy for Jeff. She couldn't imagine the pain that filled his heart at that moment. “Oh…”

Jeff himself changed in stature, he too felt a shockwave of emotions in that instance of time. “Wha… how… why. Twilight, please tell me this is just a joke, I really need to hear those words.”

Twilight winced. “Jeff… I’m sorry, there really is nothing I can do.” She looked around her place, hoping she could find something to help her at the moment.

Jeff closed his eyes, and grit his teeth in a mix of frustration and heartache. “Are you positive? Twilight, are you sure about this. I mean, if I ended up here, there has to be a way back home. There just has to be.”

Twilight's eyes wavered back and forth before an idea popped into her head. “Jeff, actually, there may be a way after all. Just maybe.”

Jeff opened his eyes, eager to hear her say something that ended with him returning to his world. “And that is?”

She levitated a quill and parchment over to her, scribbling down words onto it. “Princess Celestia. I am her faithful student, so I can directly contact her. If anyone is to know of a spell, or device that can help you get home, she would know.”

“Princess Celestia?”

“She’s our ruler: she’s wise, majestic, and all around gracious.” Lyra chimed in, trying not to feel like a third wheel.

“Uh, huh.” Jeff responded.

Twilight wrapped the parchment in a roll, and put her seal on it. “Spike!” She called for her assistant.

Nobody answered her. “Spike, I need you. Come here!” She called again. trying to get the dragon's attention.

She frowned in annoyance until she realised. “Oh yeah, that’s right. He’s at Rarity’s at the moment.” She smiled sheepishly. “Hey, you two could go get him for me. That way, Lyra, you could show him around town. Get him settled in for his stay, however long it may be.”

“That sounds like it could be fun.” She replied, a mischievous smile crossing her face. “Plus I could learn more about him, and humans while we're out.” She rubbed her front hooves together.

“I guess I have nothing better to do, kinda have nowhere to be.” Jeff said, sighing before making his way to the door. Lyra following shortly behind him. “I'll be seeing you later, Twilight.

“Likewise.” She returned to looking at the data she gathered, seeing if anything from the loads of information could hold a clue to helping Jeff get home.

* * * *

Walking through Town, Lyra pointed out key locations as she asked an onslaught of questions for Jeff. “That over there is Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie Pie, and The Cakes run that sweet spot in town.”

She turned to look at him while they were walking, ponies saying hi as they walked by. They were still thanking Jeff for his accidental saving of the town the day before. “So tell me, is it true that humans don’t control the weather like us ponies do. It alway said that in the stories, but it just seemed so unorthodox that I couldn’t believe it.”

Jeff chuckled a little. “That’s actually true, we have no control over the weather at all. Also, are you saying you guys can control the weather of this world?”

“Yeah, of course. How in the name of Celestia do you guys get by day to day without having control over whether it’s sunny or not? What do you guys do instead?”

“We mostly just complain about it.”

“Heeheehee.” Lyra skipped along, happy to be spending time with a creature of her dreams.

An old stallion was eating a haydog, his fetlocks shaking as he brought it to his muzzle.

Bam!

A wagon filled with two ponies being dragged along by a pegasus with a scooter crashed right behind the old timer. Startling him, and making him grip his haydog too hard. The result of which launched the foodstuff into the air, landing in the path Jeff and Lyra were walking down.

“Wahhh!” Shouted the startled old stallion, his back cracking from the sudden movement.

As the three fillies behind him stood up, and fixed their wagon and scooter. They said in unison. “We’re sorry.”

“Watch where ya goin’, Scootaloo. We could have hurt the poor fella.” The yellow one said.

“Yeah, yeah.” Scootaloo replied, before speeding off again.

Jeff continued on his merry way, Lyra still playing twenty questions. He was unaware of the cylinder like food that laid before him, his bland perception abilities failing him as he stepped right on it. He then began to roll around on it to and fro; it was like he was on a log on water, Only that the log was a haydog

“W-whoa!” He shouted as he wobbled back, and forth until he started moving backwards.

“Jeff!” Lyra shouted as she tried to grab him, her efforts failing as he sped by faster than her hooves could grab him. She was about to use her magic to paralyze him from any movement, but before she could, he hit the back of the wagon that the three fillies were using. Landing inside it with a painful plop.

“Ahh!” Yelped the white coated filly. “Applebloom, we got a stowaway.”

Applebloom recovered from the rocking of the wagon as it titter tottered from the weight that collided with it. “I can see that.” She patted Jeff on the head. “Y’all alright there pardner?”

He didn’t budge in the slightest. “I think he’s hurt, Sweetie Belle.” She frantically tried to shake him to wake.

“Oh no… wait one second, isn’t that the guy who saved our town yesterday?” Sweetie Belle asked.

Applebloom looked over his unconscious form, taking a moment to compare memories of the day's events from before. “I think ya may be right, there.”

“We’re going to get in so much trouble for this…” Sweetie Belle winced, shuddering at the scolding she was going to receive from Rarity.

“What are you two gripeing about back there?” Asked scootaloo, as she tried to focus on the road ahead of them.

“We just injured the hero from yesterday.” Replied Sweetie Belle.

“We what!” Scootaloo shouted, taking her eyes off the road for a moment to get a look at Jeff's slack body. The brief moment she took her eyes of the path, lead her to crash into a bench, launching Jeff’s body into the air.

Lyra—who was watching from a distance as she chased after the three little rascals—Stared slack-jawed as she saw Jeff soar in the air. His form heading straight towards a spiked fence. “Oh, crud…”

She raced in order get at a sufficient distance between him and her, trying to catch him with her magic. Before she could, however, Rainbow Dash—Who was flying by—swooped by and crashed straight into the poor human.

“Ahhhh, what gives!” She complained as her view was obscured by the weight that now slowed her down. Flying out of control—both from her lack of sight, and trying to free herself from the oversized bug—She launched the man off of her, sending him flying towards a group of crates.

Jeff’s form zoomed straight towards an open crate, landing inside with a painful thud. Still, the thick skull of his prevented him from waking up from his inconvenient unconsciousness.

A griffin—who was loading the crates onto a back of a carriage—put a lid on the crate, lifted it up, and loaded it into the carriage. “Alright, that just about does it.”

“Off to the Great Nest it is, then.” The Griffin who was attached to the carriage from the front said. He then began to walk off as the griffin who loaded the carts hopped on.

The attached griffin was then about to take flight, when all of a sudden, a voice called. “Stop!” Lyra ran up behind the cart. “You have unexpected luggage, please let me on so I can get it out for you.” She jittered up and down as she panicked to get Jeff back from an unfortunate fate.

“No can do, Ma’am.” Spoke the griffin who sat atop the transport vehicle. “This here load of goods is going straight to the Great Nest, the capital of the Griffin Kingdom. The king would have my head if I let as much as a flea leave this carriage.”

“Come on, you really have no idea how important this is.” Her voice grew higher and higher, as the moment progressed on.

“I’m sure I don’t, but I can’t risk it. Sorry, Ma’am.”

An idea popped into her head. “Uuuuggghh, fine. You got me.”

The griffin smiled as Lyra started to walk away, giving his partner the signal to continue. As the carriage that held Jeff inside took flight, Lyra dove behind a nearby bush, her horn lighting up. As the brightness reached its peak, she disappeared in a flash of golden magic.

Reappearing inside the carriage, she slightly let out a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness…” She whispered to herself. Looking around, she tried to find the crate Jeff laid in.

“I’m gonna head in now, holler for me if you need me.” The griffin who sat atop the carriage told his partner.

Lyra gulped, frantically trying to find a place to hide. Finding no other option, she dove into a crate, hiding herself among the loads of apples that laid inside. She breathed lowly as the griffin from before stepped inside. He walked closer and closer to her, making her gulp for a second time.

A creaking noise came from above her, as the griffin sat atop her crate. “Feels good to relax my aching muscles.”

Lyra sweat a little, as she worried she would get noticed. Knowing she had no other choice but to remain here until they landed, she tried to get comfy in her cramped compartment. Closing her eyes, and hating Jeff's obliviousness to his environment.