Lex Divisia Chapter 3 - Preliminary Depositions

================

Lero was hastily buttoning the white lab coat that the hospital had provided to him. He’d quickly learned that it fit quite badly: he’d actually split the back of the jacket trying to fit into it. Lero considered reaching out to Applejack to assist him with some last moment tailoring, but he had not expected there to be sufficient time... nor did he have full confidence in AJ’s new cutie mark holding off from putting all sorts of adornments onto the bleached-white lab coat.

Nonetheless, though bursting at the seams, the coat would assist him in setting the stage for his introduction. He’d had little time to think about this, and while part of him thought that he was perhaps a bit crazy to approach the problem so theatrically, the other considered this bit of show-craft the best that he could come up with given the circumstances.

He shuffled into Jacob’s room, peeking in quickly to see that the curtains had been drawn around his bed so that his vision was completely cordoned off. Before Lero could step back out of the room he heard a quiet “Hello? Is anyone there?” from the bed.

“Just a moment Jacob, I’ll be right with you!” Lero called back before ducking out to the hallway and motioning silently to Twilight to come in with him.

Twilight began to trot over to the room’s entrance before Lero waved her off vigorously. “Hooves!” He whispered through clenched teeth. Twilight’s horn glowed for a moment as her purple aura materialized over her hooves. The hastily cast sounds muffling spell would mute the harsh clopping sound as the pair opened the door and entered Jacob’s room.

Lero directed Twilight with a gesture over to a seat on the right side of Jacob’s bed, careful to arrange the curtains such that Jacob would not be able to see her from his position. It was all essential to his plan to introduce Jacob to pony-kind gradually.

Taking a single calming breath he walked to the foot of the bed and drew the curtains open to come face to face with the young man.

Immediately, Lero noticed his turquoise eye-color and dark hair sharply contrasted against his discolored, yellow skin. His face definitely looked like it had seen better days, the swelling and bruising had come down a bit thanks to the medical treatment and magical healing he’d been receiving, but the damage was still apparent. Featuring most prominently among his wounds was an eye-patch over his damaged ocular cavity.

“Hello Mr. Eyethingk, my name is Bellerophon Michaelides, but you can call me Lero."

Jacob’s eyes scrunched in slight confusion and suspicion. “Who?” Jacob asked.

“Lero Mi-”

“No, not that, what did you call me?”

“Uhh… Mr. Eyethingk?” Lero stammered, looking down at his clipboard. On it was written some key pieces of information from the hospital staff, including elements of the diagnosis and Jacob’s current state of health. Lero chewed on the nub of his pen as he flipped the page looking for more information. “Hmm, now that I look over it, it does seem like that name is a bit off. Thought it might be something foreign. Perhaps just a mix-up with the people who brought you in?”

“Yeah… that’s not my name... I’m Jacob Dufferin. Everyone just calls me Jake though… you sure you have the right room doc?” Jake mused with an arched eyebrow.

Lero nodded his head vigorously. “Dead sure… I mean, yes I’m sure. I don’t think I could confuse you with any of the other patients here..”

Jake stretched his arms above his head, letting out a bit of a sigh. “Pretty miserable actually, my face feels worse than the time I took a puck to the face in high school.”

“How’s your pain level?” Twilight asked from the other side of the curtain, unable to restrain herself.

Although Lero frowned a bit at the conversation getting slightly out of his control, he knew that Twilight meant well by the question. Truth be told, he probably should be a bit more concerned about the current state of Jake’s health.

“Who’s there?” Jacob said, glancing toward the new voice.

“Oh my name is Tw-”

“Twyla Sarkel, one of our nurses” Lero cut her off quickly. From where Lero was standing, he could see both Twilight and Jake. Both were now wearing bemused expressions at his sudden interjection.

“Oh, well... hi there.” Jake said to the curtain. “The pain is not so bad actually, I just feel all stiff and swollen.” Jake paused a moment before chortling with a small guffaw. Lero grimaced, hoping that Jake’s sense of humor wasn’t so juvenile as to turn every turn of phrase into a sexual reference.

“So, Mister… Dufferin was it? I have to ask, do you know where you are?” Lero pulled a pencil from his lab-coat pocket and prepared to jot down some notes.

“Seems like a hospital doc…” A statement met with eye rolls from all recipients in the room regardless of species. “I figure I must have had an accident or something. I’ve been sitting here for the past 10 minutes or so trying to figure out how I got in this bed… gotta admit I’m not exactly sure.”

“Well Mr. Dufferin-”

“Please, call me Jake”

“Sure thing Jake. We’ll get into that in just a moment, if you wouldn’t mind going through a little background information with me.”

Jake absent-mindedly touched the bandages on the right side of his face, seeming to hesitate for a moment before responding with a sigh.

“Sure, ask away.”

“Right, so can you tell me how old you are?”

“Twenty-seven.”

“Is that moons or years?” Twilight piped up from the other side of the curtain as she scribbled notes furiously. Lero managed to resist face-palming as he knew it would only make things worse. He’d told Twilight plenty of times about the preferred time keeping unit distinctions between their respective worlds, but he suspected the lack of sleep was affecting Twilight’s judgement, as it usually did whenever she stayed up late worrying or studying.

“Uhh…. no. Not moons, years.” Jake said with an arched eyebrow. “What do you mean by m-”

Lero quickly jumped in before Jake could pursue Twilight’s strange request any further: “And your place of residence?”

“Oh, uh… it varies from month to month, but I’m renting a little place now in Edmonton, out in the ‘burbs.” Jake opined, nonchalantly.

“Edmonton? Like, Canada?” Lero asked. “Caneighda?” Twilight asked with confusion evident in her tone... geography had never been more than a passing topic of conversation between Lero and Twilight.

“Yeah, Canada…” Jake said, frustration now beginning to leak out in his tone and demeanor. “Just where the hell am I right now, Doc?”

“We’ll get to that in just a moment Jake, just a few more questions: what do you do for a living?” Lero said, diverting his eyes to his clipboard, hoping to avoid Jake’s questions for just a bit longer.

Jake was drumming his fingers with impatience, fixing Lero with a stony gaze, even though Lero was refusing to meet his eye.

“OK doc, but you’d better square things away with me once I do. I’m currently flying a fleet of twin-engine Pipers and Cessnas to service the oil fields up north. Primarily working for Shell and Husky, but I’ll do the odd ferry or maintenance trip if the pay is right.”

“Planes? You’re a pilot.” Lero asked.

“Yep, most of the time I manage to avoid crashing too!” Jake flashed a snarky grin.

“OK, last question... “ Lero drew closer and looked directly into Jake’s eyes, “do you remember how you got here? Any strange memories or experiences that come to mind? Take your time now.”

“Hmmm, I’ve been drawing a blank on anything from the past few days actually. Last thing that I remember was eating an ice cream cone in the hangar at the airfield.”

“... what comes to mind when I say… the fair folk… or the lady…?”Even Lero could not help but cringe a little as he said these words, knowing that even uttering them gave power to a malevolent force in another world.

Yet there was no telltale reaction or shudder from Jake… and Lero had been closely watching.

“Uh.... nothing?” Was Jake’s confused reply.

Either the fair folk had found some new way of disguising their impact on those that they displaced, or Jake had found some other way to hop from Earth to Equestria.

“There is one weird thing I remember though.” Jake said hesitantly, as he stared absently at a point on the ceiling. Lero leaned in closer, and Twilight tilted her head toward the curtain as Jake’s voice conspiratorially lowered. “It’s kind of crazy, sort of a weird dream that I had… about a horse.”

Lero’s tight lipped frown turned into a smirk. “Oh really?” Lero prompted.

“Yes,” Jake replied while rubbing his brow, “a little, blue horse. I was enjoying some kind of show, with fireworks and tricks… next thing I know BAM! Kicked in the face. I’m out cold, hearing voices and bouncing along a dusty trail. Then I’m waking up here.”

Lero nodded, pretending to scribble something on his clipboard. Twilight was doing the same, though Lero suspected she had actually captured every word Jake had said. Lero gestured to Jake saying, “so, what do you think that all could mean?”

“Well Doc, I’m no Sigmund Freud, but I figure I crashed into some blue water and got a mighty wallop to my head, hence the blue horse and fireworks. What does my dream have to do with anything?”

Lero chuckled, “well for starters, you do have injuries consistent with a heavy kick to the head, how can you be sure you were dreami-?”

“Because she was talking.” Jake deadpanned.

Lero gave him a smile. “Ah, how did you know it was a she?”

Jake blushed a bit as he seemed to remember something, “uhhhh…. her…. her hair and... her voice! She was more beautiful than handsome, it was obviously a girl.”

Lero couldn’t help but needle Jake a bit, “so you like horses?”

Jake’s face scrunched in thought. “Well can’t say that I ever tried the meat if that’s what you mea-”

Jake was cut off by Lero loudly clearing his throat and shaking his head while jerking his chin toward the curtain Twilight was behind. Twilight’s face showed a mixture of distaste and disgust. The rare human habit of consuming horse-meat had been something that Lero had discussed with his close family members during his time in Equestria, but it was understandably no less distasteful to Twilight.

“Oh sorry, are you a horse-person or something? I know some people really don’t like that horses are slaughtered for meat,” Jake addressed the curtain. “I was just joking about eating horse... I used to ride on the weekends, actually. There was this one spirited chestnut mare with lots of energy, I’d ride her hard, until she was exhausted an-”

Again, he was interrupted by Lero coughing and shaking his head, only this time he also had his face buried in his hands.

On the other side of the curtain, Twilight’s face had turned a bright shade of red… she knew that how humans would ride ponies and horses in Lero’s world… still... to hear Jake say such a thing aloud brought the most vivid imagery to mind.

Jake went on. “Uh… anyway, I’m fairly certain it was a dream, horses may have genders, but they don’t have language.”

“Well I wouldn’t be too sure of that, you may just not understand them. What exactly did this pony say to you before kicking you Mr. Dufferin?” Twilight asked from the other side of the curtain.

“Pony… huh… that’s actually a pretty good way of looking at it. She… was doing a magic show. Being a bit boisterous. And everything was going fine, right up until I grabbed her tail and saw…er...” Now it was Jake’s turn to blush a bit. “Anyway… then I got kicked right in the face. Next thing I remember is waking up here. What the hell does all this have to do with anything, anyway!?” Jake was getting frustrated with what he could only see as an inane set of questions.

Lero was now wearing a warm smile, as he patted Jake’s arm. It seemed like Jake was at his limit for giving up information without knowing what was going on. Time to take the plunge.

“Jake, I want you to take a deep breath and relax… you weren’t dreaming…” Lero said as he dramatically pulled the curtain back.

==============================

Amicus was never a fan of Hospitals. The lemon-pine scent always burnt his nostrils and was particularly strong in the small, empty side room that Celestia had directed him into for a private discussion.

“So, your highness, what brings you from your golden throne to deal with us simple folk in Ponyville?” Amicus sniped, as he affected a bored and smug tone.

Celestia took a moment to compose herself. She had dealt with many like Amicus over the countless generations she had been ruler, some more intelligent, some more cunning, but none more stubborn. It was at times like these that she’d sometimes feel a small twinge, a tiny desire to take a page from the Griffons or Dragons, and simply remind this mortal what real power the Princess of the sun wielded.

But a part of her also held an almost motherly respect for this stallion. Though his rage was misplaced, she could respect that he had a fierce dedication to what he thought was right, though that same stalwartness meant she had never been able to convince him of her motivations.

She would not let that respect show now though, choosing instead to sternly address him. “Though you seem to revel in interacting upon proper decorum Amicus, I would caution you against doing so in front of the guard. Doing so places quite a bit faith in their restraint. As for why I am in Ponyville, I am merely visiting the hospital wards with my sister to bring cheer to the sick and afflicted. Why, pray tell, are you here?”

Amicus snorted, “I’m here to serve the people, unlike some others in this room. Specifically, I’m here to arrest Trixie Lulamoon for violation of her criminal sentence, and possibly to tack on a new charge of assault.”

Celestia frowned, “Trixie Lulamoon? The showmare who stirred up trouble a few seasons ago? If I recall correctly I sentenced her to perform a regular seasonal apology show for Ponyville and nothing more.”

Amicus’s deadpan look was betrayed by the intense glare he was giving Celestia at this moment. “I know very well that you stepped in where you didn’t belong and pronounced a lenient sentence on that monster. It was a sick joke to see her get off so light after torturing and imprisoning our entire town for days.”

“Amicus, I will not go over this debate again: she was under the influence of a powerful amulet which bestowed the energy stores equivalent to an alicorn to her. The corrupting influence of such a surge meant she was almost entirely not responsible for her subsequent actions.”

“Then let her make that defense in court! To the same people she hurt, those people had a right to know!” Amicus shouted.

Celestia coolly responded, ignoring Amicus’s raised voice. “The existence of the Alicorn amulets are a closely guarded state secret for obvious reasons. Our responsibility to protect our little ponies from delving into such dangerous arts precluded the opportunity for a public trial.”

“Yes, yes, yes… that tired old tripe again. Just like this recent business with the Sicklefins. State secrets and cover-ups, which result in almost everypony directly involved secreted away to jails and institutions without even the semblance of due process. Even those scum deserved their day in court.”

Celestia was no longer playing around, her gaze was steely as she slammed a hoof down, which let out an echoing thunderclap that shook the room. Her voice, though steady, hinted at a deadly ferocity which only a fool would continue to play with ““For someone sworn to uphold the due process of law, you’re startlingly disrespectful towards it’s Executor, Amicus. Those state secrets and cover-ups, as you so venomously refer to... are part of the law you swear to uphold, and exist to protect the ponies we both serve.”

She paused, and let her face and tone soften ever so slightly, “I have truly appreciated your help with the Sicklefin situation, but the danger of revealing the spell that was cast at the end of that standoff would be devastating to all of Equestria… and if you should threaten to-”

“Reveal it?” Amicus balked, cutting off the princess. “No Celestia. At least one of us still obeys the law. I never revealed the Alicorn Amulet and I would never tell anypony of your protege’s perverted mark-swapping spell. But the truth will out Celestia, though the heavens may fall.” He snorted and wheeled back to face the princess. “Already every tabloid supermarket rag between here and Manehattan are talking of it, and I’m hearing rumblings some half-baked wizard quacks are offering mark swapping services in back alleys.” Amicus was now circling around Celestia as he spoke.

“That may be, Amicus. However, the crown will deal with this issue, not you.”

Amicus shrugged and gestured plaintively, “that’s perfectly fine your highness. My intention today has nothing to do with swaps or Sicklefins... only one blue-coated, loud-mouthed, evil-magic using, ugly dictator, who has once again fallen afoul of our justice system.”

“I thought I just made it clear that she hasn’t violated her sentence! The crown will certainly not entertain your crusade against a private citizen.”

Amicus stamped his hoof down furiously. “And her more recent assault? How could that in any way have anything to do with her earlier sentence, except perhaps to prove that she was a dangerous criminal who should have been locked up all along?”

Celestia cringed inwardly, knowing the amount of consternation that she was about to inflict. All things considered, Celestia had no particular fondness for Trixie Lulamoon. Though it was true that she had been corrupted by the Alicorn amulet, it was also true that Trixie had sought out the amulet on her own accord for petty revenge… not to mention that she had been a known troublemaker for some time with her antagonistic travelling magic show.

That being said, Trixie had managed to find herself in a rather complicated situation.

She had assaulted another being (whether it was an accident or not remained to be seen) and this would usually have resulted in Celestia gladly letting the authorities conduct their normal due process.

However, because the victim was a newly arrived human, and because she and Luna were trying to manage his introduction a bit better than previous arrivals it meant that Celestia would once again be denying Amicus his opportunity to pursue Trixie in the courts of justice.

On the one hand, she felt bad that Amicus’s relationship with her would continue to deteriorate. On the other hand, he had been a thorn in her side for so long, she would take a small amount of schadenfreude-ish pleasure in denying him.

“I’m afraid, Amicus, that the assault investigation will fall under the privilege of the Crown’s authority as well, due to the nature of the victim… a nature to which you are not permitted to inquire or investigate... Rest assured however, that the matter will be handled by one of the Crown’s best special agents.”

Amicus’s eye twitched, and several strands of hair popped out of place as he took in a deep breath.

Celestia braced herself: this was going to be loud.

“WHAT THE B-”

===========================

“-UCK IS GOING ON HERE?” Jake screeched, as he scooted away in his hospital bed from the small equine to his left. He probably would have fallen out of his bed except for the fact that he was still restrained by a supportive buckle across his waist.

“IT’S REAL?”

“Ahem… she’s not it’s.” Twilight cheerfully corrected.

“IT’S ALIVE? SHIT, IT CAN TALK!?”

Twilight was about to correct Jake once again, when she saw his eyes. She liked to think that she could read human faces well, but she definitely knew she could recognize his reaction through his eyes. This was not surprise. This was terror.

“Easy! Easy! Just take a breath.” Lero said soothingly, making motions with his hands as though he were able to restrain the palpable emotional shock radiating from Jake.

Twilight looked stunned that she could invoke such a response in a human.

Lero and Gus had both had opportunities to see other ponies before her, and from what she’d heard, neither had reacted like this.

She tried to stay perfectly still, as if he was one of Fluttershy’s small animals. It didn't work.

As he continued to recoil away from her the bed began to tip dangerously. Instinctively she reached out with a hoof to steady the bed.

“Don’t hurt me!” Jake shouted furiously, cowering away from her.

Twilight drew back, hurt by his reaction, as though she were some kind of… monster. She could see the panic and fear in the human’s eyes, as he fixated on her every move as though she were a deadly rattlesnake.

A heavy silence descended the moment after his shout.

Lero was also stunned by Jake’s reaction. He’d forgotten how an average human might react to things wildly outside of their area of understanding.

Maybe if Gus hadn’t had his inability to feel emotions he would have reacted similar to Jake: his eyes fixated on the little lavender pony in front of him, his breathing a shade away from hyperventilating, arms raised as though to fend off a blow.

Lero wondered if he hadn’t been prepped by his experiences in… that other place… before coming to Equestria... might he have been as shocked when meeting a pony as the man in front of him now?

“Jake?” Lero softly asked.

Jake’s focus slowly removed itself from the living, breathing unicorn, in front of him, as he turned to look at the rusty haired doctor addressing him.

“You OK buddy? You’re safe here. Just breathe. Take it easy.” Lero held Jake’s hand, giving him a reassuring squeeze.

Twilight looked at Lero holding Jake’s hand, and suddenly found tears coming to her eyes. It was the same reach she had just made… with the intention of helping, of connecting… and it had been met with such revulsion!

Yet Lero’s reassurance had been welcomed with such… humanity. It made her feel like less than a pony, more like some kind of animal.

She’d never been made to feel this way before in all her life! Was this what Lero felt when he dealt with bigoted ponies? She felt wetness on her cheeks as tears began running down her face. A nascent sob began to escape from her lips.

Not wanting to cry openly in such a tense situation, she choked out “e-e-excuse me...” as she tried to leave.

Lero looked concernedly over at his mare as she escaped from the room. He opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by an unexpected source.

“Miss, wait!” Jake called from his bed, reaching a hand out to get Twilight to stop. “I… I’m… I’m sorry for shouting… I just… I was shocked.”

Twilight turned back, affecting a smile, somewhat relieved that the young man was at least speaking with her now. The shock-wave of realization that she could invoke such fear was still rippling through her, however. She needed a chance to catch her breath and sort out her feelings.

Sniffling, she cleared her eyes with a free hoof. “Please don’t worry… Jake. I’m sure everything is quite overwhelming for you… I-I’ll just take a moment and leave you two to chat.” She began backing out of the open door into the hallway.

“Thanks, Miss. I...I didn’t mean to freak out at you,” Jake said dejectedly.

“Don’t worry about it! I know you didn’t.” Twilight backed out of the room and closed the door with a soft click. Letting out a disappointed sigh as tears began to fill her eyes again. So much for starting things off on the right hoof, she thought... How could she have forgotten just how different she would seem to a human?

Back in the room, Lero let out a long breath, massaging his temples in frustration. “Well. That certainly didn’t go as expected.”

===========================

“Well, that certainly went as expected…” Luna muttered under her breath to her sister as she watched Amicus and his guards retreating down the hospital hallway.

Luna had heard the window rattling aftermath of Celestia’s revelation to Amicus that he would yet again be barred from pursuing prosecution by Royal Prerogative.

“Just what did you tell that sanctimonious paladin, sister?” Luna asked with a hint of a snicker as she prodded her sister with a hoof.

Celestia was not in a snickering mood, however. “I ended up having to tell him that Trixie did not assault an Equestrian citizen, but a sentient non-pony entity, the details of which I would not reveal due to national security purposes. Needless to say, he did not take it well…”

Luna frowned. “How did he manage to avoid attempting regicide after hearing you snatch yet another criminal from his hoof-grasp? I can’t imagine he would have accepted that from you without more explanation.”

Celestia motioned Luna to follow her along the hospital corridor as she continued to explain how things had gone with Amicus.

“I also told him that this situation would be resolved by a special operative of the crown due to the non-pony entity involvement… he wasn’t going to accept it until I told him that the operative would be from S.M.I.L.E.”

Luna gasped, “the Secret Monster Intelligence League of Equestria!? I’ve heard of its renown in protecting Equestria during my banishment… but I thought you’d disbanded it years ago after that bugbear escaped from Tartarus?”

Celestia sighed while looking down at her hooves. “I did disband it Luna, but there would have been no other way to convince Amicus that there had been a monster interaction serious enough to merit a royal intervention.”

“So how will you possibly be able to assign a S.M.I.L.E. operative to Ponyville? The agents must be scattered and in hiding by now.”

Celestia grimaced. “Actually, there is one ex-agent in deep cover here in Ponyville. Hopefully she won’t mind me pulling her out of retirement for such a trivial reason. If we’re lucky we can make her presence work to our advantage.” Celestia paused in front of the door to the hospital staff area where Trixie had been detained.

“First, however, I need to speak to Ms. Lulamoon… She may have escaped Amicus’s judgement but if she does not answer as to her conduct… she will not escape mine.”

==========================================

It was a long evening.

Jake was still wearing an expression that looked something like a stunned fish: his mouth was hanging open and his eyes were somewhat glazed over.

Lero had spent the first few hours doing his best to explain the world of Equestria to his bewildered compatriot…

~~~~Earlier~~~~

“So… you doing OK now Jake?” Lero asked, as he watched Jake finish the glass of water Lero had brought him.

“Buddy, I don’t think I’ll ever know what OK is ever again.” Jake replied with a groan. “So, what the hell do we do now?”

“Now, we talk.” Lero said, pulling a chair up to Jake’s bedside.

“How about you talk, seeing as you’re the only one who knows anything.”

“Nope, doesn’t work that way Jake, conversations are a two-way street, I wanna know all about how you’re doing. How about I ask one question, you ask one question? We can see where that gets us.” Lero smiled, and gestured with an open hand to Jake, giving him the opening salvo.

“Ohhhh kayyyy, how about… WHERE THE HELL AM I?” Jake growled through his teeth.

“Jake, take it easy, OK? I’m your friend here, and getting all worked up isn’t going to do you any good.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll ease up…. Where are we?” Jake had taken the level of tension in his voice down notably, and seemed to be trying to rest back onto the bed.

“Equestria, specifically the town of Ponyville. Before you ask, I don’t know where Equestria is. All I know is that it isn’t on Earth. In fact, it isn’t even in the same reality as Earth.”

“So how did I g-” Jake began, before being cut off.

“My turn, remember? So I know your age, name and profession. Let’s start simple: do you have any hobbies?” Lero asked.

“No, not really. Hiking I guess. So how did I get here?” Jake replied.

“On that one, I can’t really answer. We’re going to try to figure that out. I didn’t really give you a response so you can ask another question.”

“OK, how do I get out of here?” Jake said with a grimace.

Lero frowned, he’d been expecting this question sooner or later. He didn’t want to evade Jake, but at the same time there was a time and place for everything, he’d be as truthful as he could be. “We’re going to find out how to do that, Jake. For now, you’re here, and you’re safe…” Lero paused as he considered the impact his next question might have; Jake hadn’t exactly had the calmest reactions to circumstances thus far. “Do you have any family back home?”

Jake replied without hesitation, “parents and a sister… but we don’t keep in touch… Why are there talking horses here?”

Lero held up a corrective finger, “ponies, not horses. Calling them horses is like calling you a chimpanzee. They’re here because Equestria is their home. This is where they live. We’re the weird creatures to them. There’s millions of them, and only two of us.” Lero watched those facts dawn on Jake, a stunned look spreading over him. Better snap him out of his shock… “so do you have anyone back home who will be looking for you?”

“Uhh…. I don’t know. Probably my boss, if I went missing on the airfield, maybe they’ll notice I never signed out? Guys sometimes walk away from the oilfields. But I don’t think they just vanish.”

“No friends, girlfriends, wife?” Lero followed up.

“No, no, and no. I tend to keep to myself. Hey, you snuck another one in on me. So, what are these ponies like? Are they friendly?”

Lero smiled, “Jake, you wouldn’t believe just how friendly they are. Not just individually, but as a society. Ponies are a very loving culture.” Lero paused as he ran a hand over some of the more recent scars he’d received at the hands of Exit Wound’s thugs. “There are some bad apples too, but I can honestly say that on the whole they are far friendlier than we are. As long as you aren’t screaming at them in horror, that is.”

Jake exhaled and looked down ashamedly, “yeah. Sorry about that.”

“What was that all about, anyway?” Lero asked.

“What was that about? What do you mean!? You basically put an unknown, medium size animal, of the type that I’d only seen kick me right in my eye, less than 2 feet away from me with no warning. What did you expect would happen?” Jake shot Lero an incredulous look, as he crossed his arms in expectation of a satisfactory answer.

Lero looked abashedly at his feet, rubbing the back of his head as he admitted, “To be honest, I was winging it Jake, I thought if I could get you to talk to someone you thought was a human first you’d be more willing to accept that ponies are just like you and me. I’ve gotten so used to seeing them as… well… ordinary people, I forgot that you could have been surprised by them.”

“That’s OK, I really don’t even know why I reacted so badly… flight or fight I guess. And I had trouble with the flight bit,” Jake said as he fiddle with the strap that restrained him to the bed. “What’s with this thing anyway?”

Lero chucked as he reached beneath the bed to undo the strap, “as humans we’re a bit bigger than the average patient at this hospital, so they designed me a custom bed a little while back, the strap is just a precautionary measure.”

“So, you’ve been a patient here before. Sounds like maybe even a few times if they’ve gone so far as to design a custom-sized bed for you. You’re either unhealthy, or accident prone. I’m guessing the latter since you’re a doctor and you look OK. So is this Equestria a dangerous place then?”

Lero frowned, thinking: this Jake character was pretty insightful. He’d have to be careful about his responses around him. It wasn’t that Lero had anything to hide, it was just a natural defense reaction to someone being uncannily perceptive. “To answer that, Jake, would be a long story.”

“To be honest, if you’ve got the time… I’d like to hear it, knowing what you’ve gone through would maybe help answer the thousands of questions I have, maybe even ease some of my worries too.”

“OK then, I’m not much of a storyteller, so stop me if you start to fall asleep.” Lero took a moment to sort his thoughts, then launched into his time in Equestria, starting from when he’d arrived.

He’d avoided speaking about any of his romantic relationships, however. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of them… its just that he knew that Jake would have enough to digest over the next little while before getting into his polygamous and romantic adventures. With that logic in mind he also didn't get into any of the myriad villains or catastrophes that had befallen Equestria (including the swap), plenty of time for that later, if at all.

He’d managed to cover the basics: how they were the only two humans, how there was currently no way back home, the peaceful nature of day-to-day pony life.

Jake had been quiet throughout, only the odd question here or there to clarify some minor points as Jake went along.

~~~~Present~~~~

A knock on the door interrupted Lero’s lecture. Nurse Redheart poked her head in meekly and tried to address Lero without looking at Jake.

“Excuse me, Doctor Michaelides.”

Lero looked right away at Jake, trying to discern if he would have another negative reaction to a pony like the one he’d had when Twilight had been present. Instead he saw that he had a bemused, almost curious expression, like someone seeing a cute dog do a funny trick.

“Oh you don’t need to pretend he’s a Doctor anymore, ma’am. Real doctors don’t shake hands with patients or chew on the nub of hospital pens while making the rounds, too likely to get an opportunistic infection. Plus, none of your stories involved you doing much in Ponyville hospital. You wear the title of doctor about as well as you wear that ridiculous lab-coat Lero.”

Jake’s chuckling was infectious and Lero shortly found himself laughing at his little attempt as well, as he removed the torn coat from his back with some difficulty.

“Well I hate to interrupt your little chatting session, but it is quite late and also well past visitors’ hours… Jake is still healing and needs his rest.” She shot Jake and Lero a stern look.

“Its funny just how their expressions are so much like a nurse back home, isn’t it?” Jake asked to Lero with a fascinated expression.

Lero nodded curtly and prepared to change the subject, he’d have to remind Jake that ponies were like just like people in more than their expressions... and referring to Nurse Redheart as they while she was present could be considered a bit rude even cons-

“My apologies, ma’am… you just reminded me so much of my aunt. If we crossed her she’d fix us with this glare and put us right in our place.” Jake said with a sheepish smile.

Lero smiled inwardly, it was a good sign that Jake felt courtesy was owed after all.

“No offense taken, but it really is time for you to get some sleep… do you feel like you’ll be able to get some sleep or should I bring an actual doctor in?”

“Nah I should be fine, thanks Nurse…?”

“Redheart.”

“Thanks Nurse Redheart. Have a good evening.”

Nurse Redheart backed out of the room and Lero began to follow her. He paused at the door and looked back at Jake in his hospital bed, the sheets enveloping him comfortably and the waist strap keeping him centered on the bed. He couldn’t imagine what could be going through his head at a moment like this, and he felt a bit of concern for him.

“You OK Jake? You know I’ll be right outside if you need anything.”

There was a pause and Jake avoided looking at him before replying.

“I’m still just taking it in right now Lero… what… what’s gonna happen to me? What am I going to do?” His voice sounded a bit sad.

“I asked myself the same thing Jake, and things turned out OK. Little tip from a guy who’s been there: now’s not the time for worrying. For now you just rest + sleep. Everypony… everyone...will take care of you. You’ll be OK” Lero saw jake give him a small smile which reassured him that his words had the desired effect.

“Thanks buddy.”

“G’night!” Lero closed the door behind him. It was a solid door made of fine Apple farms lumber, and helped keep the hustle and bustle of the busy hospital from disturbing any patients.

It also kept Lero from hearing Jake’s soft sobs as the lights clicked off.

Author's Note

Wow! Bit of a delay on this one, hope that it was worth it.

Again huge kudos to the swap-father (Mike Teavee) and Rikmach for their invaluable help with editing and suggestions.

Please let me know in the comments what your initial impressions of Jake are. Now that we're through some of the introductions, we've got a bit of the plot shaping up... a newcomer to Equestria in the DR universe, which, because of the Princesses' desire to manage said arrival accordingly, is complex enough. Throw in a dash of suspicious and vengeful district attorney, mix in a pinch of mischievous yet misunderstood semi-villain, and we're up for quite a ride (I hope)!

Let me know what you liked, what you hated, and what you thought was just ~meh... your comments mean a lot!