Letters

by Pathos14489

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Sad
Length: 15755

Twilight gets letters from a filly asking for a friend.

One day Princess Twilight starts getting letters from a filly named Sunny Skies. Dealing with her paranoia, OCD, "Princess Chores" and just simple worrying, how is Twilight supposed to help a young filly make friends? And when the letters start to worry her, how will Twilight cope as she investigates into a darker side of Equestrian society.

Published 2016-02-09 21:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-03 10:45:12 UTC

Yellow

"Hey Spike." I smile warmly, entering the Friendship Council room. "What are you up to on your day off?" I ask, despite the visually obvious answer.

He turns the page on his comic, "Just a little catching up on my reading." He says nonchalantly. "What about you? Gonna hang out with the girls today?" He peaks over his book at me.

"I was originally planning for that, but as it would turn out, they're all busy." I sigh. "Pinkie's busy babysitting for the Cakes, Rarity's up in Canterlot delivering orders and picking up supplies." I sit as gracefully as my frustration will allow on my throne, resting my head on a hoof. "Rainbow is in Cloudsdale with Scootaloo today, Applejack is super busy with farm work and Fluttershy is looking after Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle..."

"So pretty much you're bored out of your skull?" He has the audacity to snort at my great tragedy.

"Even Starlight Glimmer is busy today!" I yell with a huff. "And I've read every book in the library twice over now."

"Yep. Bored out of your skull." He confirms to himself, going back to his comic. "Well if you've read all the books, uh..." He thinks for a moment, turning the page. "Why not read the mail?"

I stare at him. "You're joking right?" I deadpan. Then I get to thinking. "Actually..." I at this point jump from the throne, over the Cutie Map and gallop out of the council room. Nearly out of earshot, I can barely hear Spike sigh as I bolt for the front door, desperate for anything to alleviate my boredom.

I turn the final corner and slide down the hall, my hoof scraping against the crystal floor and my wings flapping to slow myself before I smack into the door like an idiot. I skid to a stop, my muzzle half an inch from the door, then I engulf it in my magic and slam the front door open.

"Ow!"

"Huh?" I vocalize my confusion at the door exclaiming pain. I look up at the door, an eyebrow raising. Then I look down the stairs and gasp in horror. "Derpy! Oh my sweet Celestia-I didn't mean to-I didn't know-!" I run through every excuse I can think of, but the problem is I can't bring myself to finish each of them before starting the next.

My rant of apology is interrupted as Derpy chuckles at me. "It's okay Princess Twilight, don't worry about it." She then gets up and starts shifting through her mail bag. "I believe I have a few letters and a package addressed to you." She scrunches her eyes, one rolling around like a free bird, in concentration. "...Maybe. It could happen." She nearly sticks her face into the bag as her hoof reaches in deeper and deeper still.

I valiantly resist the temptation to tap my hoof or frown as I awkwardly smile at her. I need the mail and I need it now! Finally, after several minutes of searching she comes back up looking confused. "I could've sworn..." She scratches her head with her hoof, her wings fluffing just slightly. "Oh well. Maybe next time, Princess!" She then proceeds to start off to the next house.

"Wait!" I yell out in protest before my brain can tell my mouth to stop. "Check again! There has to be something!" She tilts her head, but does as I requested. After all, who exactly can refuse a princess?

Fifteen minutes and two more double checks later, I finally allow her to continue on her way dejectedly. I huff and sit at the bottom on the stairs despairingly. "It's not fair..." I mutter under my breath before standing up and walking up the stairs. Then it catches my eye. I look up and to the left and notice the mailbox slightly open. No. No no no no no. You've gotta be kidding. There's no possible way she-

She did. There in the mailbox, is a small brown package and three letters. I grunt and slam my head against the castle wall in agony as my magic lifts the mail from the box and closes it, levitating it around to my front. I sigh and start to read the mail, reentering my home and heading for the study so that after I read the mail, I can alphabetize it with the rest of my mail! It's like, double fun from one item!

I guess.

Lets see, yet another letter from Mayor Mare regarding the many zoning errors and the illegality of the castle cropping up and stealing property from the nearby citizens. I think I'll read that one later; save myself a little mid day event to look forward to.

Next is a letter from Prince Blueblood. My lips curl in disgusted curiosity as I teleport the content of the letter out, without even harming the envelope, that way it's less messy of course.

Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,

In regard to your elevated class from common librarian to a Princess of Equestria, I would like to cordially invite you to the gala that I, Prince Blueblood, will be hosting at my estate on the Northern Canterlot hillside.

I feel that it has been an adequate amount of time for you to adjust to such a shocking--and with no doubt--wonderful change from a commoner to Equestrian Royalty, that you wouldn't have a heart attack at the notion of possibly, if you're quite lucky, being in the same room as I, Prince Blueblood.

I look forward to seeing you at the party come tonight,

Fabulously,
Prince Blueblood of Canterlot,
Most Handsome Stallion in Canterlot Equestria three years running,
etc.
etc.

He had ran out of room on the paper, and mercifully decided to write it as such instead of sending another page to list his various--self claimed for the most part--titles. I sit at my desk thoughtfully, wondering how I could possibly make the situation any better. Then it hit me.

"Oh Spiiike~" I call out as my magic opens my study and council room doors, "Would you want to send a little, teeny tiny letter to Rarity please?" My magic is already writing a letter both to Blueblood, informing him that I'm much too busy and will instead be sending one of the Councilmares of Friendship in my royal stead, and then a letter to Rarity explaining how I got her an invitation to Trender Hoof's party in the Northern Canterlot hills, with Blueblood's address written out at the bottom of the page.

I see the comic fly across the Cutie Map as Spike runs into view. "Yes please!"I give him the letters and send him on his way. He questions the letter to Blueblood, but I merely wave it off as unimportant.

With that bit of business taken care of, I teleport the letter back into it's envelope and float the gross missive into it's place under B of course. I then decide to mix things up and I call the package over. "A package from Princess Luna?" I echo my thoughts, "I wonder what she could've sent." I say as I gently shift the package near my ear, a smile forming as I listen with twitching excitement as the weighty shift gives me the tale tell signs of what I already thought it might be.

Opening the brown cardboard, I squeal with glee at the sight. "A book!" Not just any book, but one I haven't read! That anypony hasn't read! It's a first edition of Luna's memoirs, specifically detailing when she was trapped on the moon and the inner monologue like debates she had with Nightmare Moon. I can't believe it's already finished! I glance at the other letter mischievously I crack open the first page, it can't hurt just to see what number the book is right? Then straight back to the mail!

1/250

I squee as I see the numerals, the first printed book of the extremely limited first edition? I've never received such an amazing gift in all of my life! I quickly jot down a note on a nearby scroll, starting a to-do list regarding this book. Number one on the list: Thank Luna for the book!

I close the book, hugging it tightly to myself as I levitate the final letter over, eager to finish the mail before I start reading my new book. I teleport the content out without even reading the name or address on the envelope.

Dear Princess of Friendship Twilight Sparkle,

Hi, my name is Sunny Skies. I am a pegasus filly from Cloudsdale and today, at least when I sent this letter, it is my eleventh birthday! I was given the chance to choose my final gift, and I asked if I could send the Princess of Friendship a letter and my mom said yes. So... Here I am, sending the letter.

I'm writing to you in the hopes that you can help me with a problem I'm having about friendship. My mom and dad keep asking me why I never have any friends over and I'm running out of excuses... I don't have any friends exactly. And that's fine with me honestly! I don't feel like I need any, I'm never lonely, I never feel like I'm missing out.

I used to have friends before we moved here from Fillydelphia but I don't even miss them that much, they weren't very nice to begin with. Especially Thunder's older brother.

But I'm starting to fall off topic, I'm sorry!

Anyway, I was wondering if you could send my parents a letter saying that I didn't need to bring friends home? Please? Or something along those lines so that they won't keep asking me about it?

Hopeful,
~Sunny Skies

P.S. I'm sorry if this letter wasn't formal enough, I'm not very good with being formal and I don't know very many big words, but I wanted to write this without my mom or dad's help.

I furrow my brow at the letter. How did this filly get my address? Was it already public? ...Or perhaps just writing 'The Big Crystal Castle of Friendship and Hugs in Ponyville' is enough to get a letter to me. I bring over the envelope and, less than surprisingly, the only address aside from the return address is 'Castle of Friendship'. I suppose being a Princess now means little to no privacy on the matter of where you live huh?

I sit the letter down and think for a moment, not exactly sure where to go with this. I could ask Spike to send a letter to Princess Celestia about what I should I do, but I promised him the day off today and I already sorta broke that promise with the letters to Rarity and Blueblood, so I didn't exactly want to do that again.

Besides, if I did that she might think I'm not ready to be a Princess of Equestria! Then she'd rip off my wings and banish me to a dungeon and banish the dungeon to the moon and then banish the key to my cell to the sun! Then I'd never leave and all my friends would forget about me and make Trixie the Element of Magic and then a Princess and I would die and be forgotten and all alone except for my dungeon master who's this creepy old stallion who likes to touch me a little too much when walking me to the bathroom! I don't want to be banished, I can handle this! I hold my hoof to my chest, breathing in, then breathing out. Calm down Twilight, you got this.

I pick up my quill and hold it over a blank page in my magic.

"Hey Spike, do you wanna go out to eat for dinner? You do? Me too, lets go!" I yell, dragging the confused drake with me, his comic falling on the floor, after setting the quill down and running away from the blank page.

"Twilight it's only two thirty!"

<~>

I sigh happily, Spike asleep on my back. He literally ate himself to sleep, and I'm almost there myself. I trot up to the my castle home and smile at it. Home Sweet Home. I climb the steps, careful of my sleepy assistant, and quickly enter the castle. I teleport him into his bed and cover him up remotely, not feeling like climbing all those stairs right now, I then sleek into my study. Eager to read my new book.

The letter.

I stare at the empty page and dry ink covered quill, a little queasy at the thought. I sigh and walk to the table, the letter from Sunny still open on the desk next to the off white paper. I sit down and pick up the quill; dipping it in ink once again, I recount the letter and begin my reply.

Dear Sunny Skies,

I spent most of today hiding from this letter, because after reading it I didn't know how to respond.

I still don't if I'm honest, but I'm going to try, rather than let you feel ignored.

I understand what it's like to not want friends, Sunny. For the longest time, my life was spent that way. Thinking that friends are a waste of time, that I don't need them. And while I cannot guarantee that you'll become a Princess because of your friends like I did, I can promise you that friends are very important. Almost, if not equally as important as family.

Maybe I can't convince you that you need friends, at least not from a mere letter, but I also cannot in good conscience tell your parents that you don't need them. Because you do, more than you think. All I can say is, tell your parents the truth. That right now, you aren't looking for friends. If that doesn't help the situation, I apologize. But it's the most I can advise without the advise actively countering my position as Princess of Friendship.

Love,
Twilight Sparkle.

P.S. Your letter was far more formal than I could have possibly expected from an average eleven year old filly, but you don't have to worry too much about my title, I don't after all.

With the letter finished, I close my eyes as I warp it to the mailbox. I sigh in relief, but also slight worry about the response I might get. But, like Princess Celestia says, I shouldn't worry so much about these things. I open my eyes and the book from Luna catches my eye. My eyes twinkle as I grab the book up in my magic, my magic flaring as all the candles in my study burst aflame. Only an hour or two or reading won't hurt.

Author's Note

Vaguely inspired by Dear Princess, I was glancing through my old favorites and reread this. Go give this a read if you haven't already, wonderful story.

Blue

Dear Princess Twilight,

Thank you for replying, Princess, it really means a whole lot.

What made you change your mind about friends? And… Seeing as you're the Princess of Friendship, maybe you can actually explain this to me. Why are friends so important? I know you gained your title from being friends with a lot of really cool ponies, but you said there was more to it.

Sunny Skies

P.S. Sorry for the incredibly short letter. But do you like the postcard? This is me and my family!

I stared at the postcard for a moment, not really expecting a reply that quickly, before looking over the rest of my mail again. It flipped over in my peripheral, showing a smiling family of three. One pale blue filly with bright yellow hair, a green mare with dark red hair and a (handsome) bright blue stallion with pale yellow hair All pegasi. Her parents flanks were hidden, but hers was obviously seen to be blank.

Maybe her peers didn't hang out with her for being a blank flank? I can't really help with that unless she has a Cutie Mark in magic, which is very unlikely. I let out a yawn, casting my gaze to the two thirds finished book open on the table, I hadn't slept but a few hours since I sent the letter a few days ago, but between friends and the equivalence of princess chores—cleaning up records, dealing with testy citizens, etc—I still haven't finished this book. I suppose rereading the fourth through twelfth chapters because they were so amazing didn't exactly help towards that either.

I should sleep before trying to give advise to a confused filly. Just a little nap. My eyes drooped as my head rested softly on my desk; the postcard fluttering down with a haze of purple, softly sliding into the book as a book mark as said book closes.

«♦»

My eyes opened in a sea, I was underwater; drowning, but the freshest cool air filled my lungs. Above me the sky rippled through the water like blobs of light, casting shadows and shifting shapes across the seafloor. The world was a painting in blue and white; what was this? I knew not. Was I still alive? But I forgot myself as I watched life bloom, the world itself cascading and filling with green and life, the sea washed away and trees sprouted like wild fire, forging onward from me, like I was the source of life itself.

I breathed; my lung filled fuller before I exhaled. Around me, at the pace of the galaxies and the stars, trees grew and fell, rot was buried away under the new sprouts of grass and bush. The seasons changed, each passing like the blink of an eye. Wind blew leaves and my mane calmly, the former dancing across my eyes like butterflies. But through it all, one tree remained. Vibrant, green and forever. Growing and never rotting, it's branches reach out like great wings above my meek form. My wings shuffled against my side; I felt inadequate.

I looked around, but the only life left was this tree. This one, big and beautiful tree. Ever growing, ever persistent. Above the browned clouds of apocalypse, reaching out as though to pluck the sun from the sky. I blinked—my old home—Golden Oak Library. Around me were busied ponies, walking in droves around me, like shifting water. I didn't recognize any of them, not a single one. Ponies; tall and short, bright and dull. But none familiar, not even in coat tone. "Twilight!" I throw myself around, grazing the crowd for the voice.

Rainbow. I saw her and reached out to call for her. But my voice was mute. "Twilight!" I turned completely around to the next voice, I saw Pinkie Pie, waving. But again, my voice was gone.

"Twilight." I turned again to find Rarity. Silence.

"Twilight!" Another turn and Applejack. I screamed and cried silently, I wanted them to hear me, to understand me.

"Twilight." I dreaded my next turn as I looked to face Fluttershy. But again my voice failed me. I waved my hooves as they all turned to leave, tears blinded me as they were engulfed by the walls of ponies around me. One by one; I turned, watching each of them leave until Rainbow remained. I started to run after her, but she only turned and left before I could reach. I slammed into the wall of ponies with the boom of two pillows clapping, pushing and clawing at them to get through.

But eventually I realized I was alone, my head tipping down as I wept. Even the ponies, the hundreds of millions of faces, each milling about their own lives I'll never know, they too left. Until I was truly alone, and only the tree remained. I smiled, reaching to touch my last possession. But as my hoof brushed against it, sparks danced away as though my hoof were steel against magnesium. As I pulled back, even going as far as to fall to the ground, it was too late. I watched as even that tree—my home—was licked up by flames. I threw myself at it, closing my eyes to blink away the tears. But my hoof thumped on the ground as I fell into a pile of soot and ash.

I had nothing.

"Twilight?" I scrapped to my hooves, blinking over and over again to try and see as I reached out for the voice, mouthing words never heard. My hoof collided with something solid, just as something else rubbed against my face, wiping my tears and the ashes of my burnt belongings away.

"Rainbow?" My voice croaked like the creaking echo of an aging mare as I looked up at her pitifully. Glancing around, I saw each of my friends gathered in a circle around me, the remains of the tree cleaned away, a sprout of green, a stem with a single leaf, planted in the center below me.

They all reached out, wrapping hooves around me as I wept, my voice carrying beyond the farthest reaching mountains as I cried and held them, never to let them leave again. My friends, the ponies I trusted. They were always here for me. "We love you, Twilight." They all said in chorus.

«♦»

My eyes opened again, crusty and wet against the desk. I lifted my head slowly, caressing my stiff neck as I groaned. "Spike?" I called out before clearing my throat. I looked around, the room almost entirely black with darkness. My horn flared, reaching out and lighting several of the candles around the room. Outside it was already night, I must've slept for at least five hours. I sighed, my magic picking up the book. Spike was already—My attention was caught as I saw the postcard slide out of the book, falling onto the desk. I stared at it—the book hovering beside my face for a moment—before I reached out and picked it up, placing the book down at the same time.

Why are friends so important?

I narrowed my eyes at that one sentence, my magic grabbing up parchment and quill without barely a thought towards either action.

Dear Sunny Skies,

Friends are important to me because they are the only ponies outside of your family you can depend on. They are the only ponies you can truly trust in this big and dangerous world, it's a rare and beautiful thing when a stranger will help you out of the kindness of their heart.

When my home was destroyed—even though I gained a new castle the same day—I lost everything but my friends and my distant family. But my friends were there to comfort me, they helped me rebuild in my new castle; helped me decorate it. They helped me turn the Castle of Friendship from a castle into my home. I'm not saying that friends are always going to be there for you, nor am I saying that family isn't as important. But my friends are almost always here for me, no matter how tough things get.

So my answer to your question, "Why are friends so important?" is to ask you this: Why is having somepony you can always depend on and trust so important?

On another note,

I changed how I felt about friends when they showed me how much they cared about me, despite having just met me. When they showed me the true magic of friendship, beyond the flashy light show and demon destroying powers.

Sincerely,

Princess Twilight

P.S. I do like the postcard, you family looks very nice. You're quite cute yourself by the way.

With a nod, I rolled the letter up and teleported it into the mailbox. But not before including a spare booklet of enchanted parchment, if she was going to keep mailing me, she might as well use Spike.

«♦»

“Letter writing can be seen as a gift because someone has taken his/her time to write and think and express love.”
― Soraya Diase Coffelt

Author's Note

I didn't really know where I wanted this story to go. I originally had a different idea, but after finishing Apathy I realized it was a horrible idea. So here's how things are going to go now.

Sorry the chapter is so short, but I felt guilty about not updating this sooner and I wanted to get it out. And also I'm still getting out of this funk. I haven't written much this week, I was taking a break after finishing Apathy. So I'm getting back into the groove of things.

Also! Go watch Over the Garden Wall. Like... Now. It's on Hulu, it's on Kisscartoon—Just watch it.

White

I yawned, the book from Princess Luna closing softly; I finally finished it. Just in time for a nice little nap too. I trotted softly into my room, careful not to wake Spike as I slipped under the overly large and heavy quilts. It was probably around three AM by now, so I should be able to get at least three or four hours of sleep before Princess–y duties called. Maybe I could find the time during court tomorrow to reread the book Luna sent me.

Burp

My head popped off my pillow as I watched the emerald fire circle into the air above Spike's bed, twirling and spinning as it transformed into a letter. I caught it with my magic before it could fall and wake the poor, over–worked assistant of mine up. A letter? This late at night? I unfurled it, glancing it over.

Dear Princess Twiligh–

Burp

I looked over at Spike again, another letter puffing up and sparking from the flames. I caught it too, bringing it over and sitting it beside me as I shifted into a proper sitting position. I fidgeted with my tail, trying to get it and everything else comfy before continuing the first one.

Dear Princess Twilight,

I read the letter you sent and if I just stay at home for the rest of my life everything will be fine right? My mommies and daddies always tell me that I never ever have to leave here, that if I stay here with my brothers and sisters that everything will be great. Can your family be your friends? Because I feel like my family is all the friends I'll ever need.

But maybe... Princess Twilight, will you be my friend?

Sunny Skies

I sat the letter down, having brought a hoof up, scratching my head. She has... Multiple mothers and fathers? It might be a bunch of typos, it is rather late. But several times in a row seems a bit of a stretch. I glance at the next letter, my magic already opening it as I sigh in confusion.

Dear Princess Twilight,

Oh my sweet Celestia! My last letter caught on fire when I wrote it and just flew away! Was that it being sent to you or did I mess up? Is the paper you sent actually alive and I offended it when I accidentally sat on it?!

Help!

Sunny Skies

Oh that poor filly, I remember when I first used Spike to send and receive letters, I was always paranoid he was actually burning them up. I look over to Spike, chewing my lower lip as I considered my options. Option one: Go to sleep and write her in the morning. But that might really worry her, not to mention she might start sending several letters, enough to give Spike a tummy ache tomorrow. Option two: Just wake Spike up and send her a short letter.

Option two seemed a lot less painful in the long run.

Dear Sunny Skies,

Don't worry, that's how the letters are supposed to act. The pages are laced with charms and magic that mark the sender's location—also tracking it if they move—before coming here and being belched out by my assistant, Spike. I sent them to you in the hopes that it'd reduce the time between our correspondences, and I'm glad you thought to use them when writing your letter this time.

However, I'd like to request you not write me letters using these pages at night. While I'm usually awake, Spike isn't. And seeing as we're using him to talk right now... It's kinda rude to do when he's supposed to be sleeping. Speaking of which, shouldn't you be in bed young filly? It's rather late. But that's not to say I don't understand. As you can imagine, my childhood and my adulthood has been spent suffering from insomnia, so I can't fault you for that if that is the case.

Regardless, of course I'll be your friend, Sunny Skies. I mean, it's in my occupational title after all. What kind of Princess of Friendship would I be if I didn't try to be everypony's friend, right? But please, it's late. Let us continue this conversation in the morning, okay?

Your friend,

Princess Twilight

I rolled and bound the letter in purple silk, pinning one of the gold medallions Princess Celestia had my cutie mark inscribed onto on the silk. "Spike?" I called out into the darkness the light from my horn couldn't reveal. "Spiiike?"

"Huh...?" Oh good. I wouldn't need to resort to drastic measures to wake him up. "Twilight?" He yawned before puffing a poof of fire into a bedside lantern he kept. "Something wrong?" He held it up, glancing around the room cautiously.

"Nothing's wrong, Spike. I just need you to send a letter for me." I said, hoofing him both my letter and the one from Sunny. "This one has the magic signature you need to follow." I tapped Sunny's with my hoof.

"It's not going to Celestia?" He raised an eyebrow, then tapped his chin. "And... When did we get this letter? I don't remember receiving it."

"Tonight, you slept through it." He took both from me. "And thank you, Spike. You're my number one assistant for a reason beyond being a sweetheart." I patted him on the head, ruffling his spines a little.

"No problem, Twi." He studied Sunny's letter before puffing fire on mine, sending it on it's way. "There."

"Thank you, Spike. Now lets get some shut eye." I say, giving him a smile, my horn lighting the room when he blew his lantern out. "Again, I'm sorry about waking you up." I took the letter and placed it on the nightstand as I laid down, quickly falling asleep.

«♦»

"Aaaand pancakes!" I yawned as a plate of pancakes thunked on the table in front of me.

I regarded the sugary, syrup covered flattened lumps of bread. "Thank you, Spike." I finally said, scratching the back of my head with my magic.

"Didn't sleep too well?" He sat across from me, eating his own—gem impregnated—pancakes. "What was that letter about anyway?"

"Do you remember that filly who sent me those other letters in the mail?" He nodded as I went on. "I sent her a notepad of enchanted paper so she could communicate with me faster." I saw him nod and I smiled in return. Then I immediately frowned. "Unless you didn't want me to!" He frowned and tilted his head, opening his mouth a little. "Oh no, oh no! Should I have asked for your permission?" I started hyperventilating. "Are you going to tell Princess Celes–By Celestia, what will child services think?!"

Before he could even lift a claw to yell at me I bolted. I had to get out of here, fast! I can't be arrested now, I was just made royalty! The newpapers would be merciless! I would have zero privacy! What if they read all my books and folded the tips of the pages as insult to (hopefully) metaphorical injury?! I skidded to a stop, turning and aiming for the library. "Twilight!" Oh no, Spike's after me! He already sent a letter to Princess Celestia and child services probably, now I'm really done for! I grabbed as many books as I could, using the shelves to barricade the door as more and more books floated up into the mass of paper above me. "Twilight, open the door! No one is after you!" Spike yelled as he banged is teeny tiny claws against the barred door.

"No! You're just trying to make it easier for the Princess to fold the tips of my books in! That is NOT a good way to bookmark a book and you know it!" I yelled as I tried to think of somewhere to hide the books.

"Wha–" He stuttered, the hits on the door pausing with his speech. "What are you even talking about?!"

"You know bucking well what I'm talking about! They're after me—I trusted you! How could you do this to me?!" Maybe under Canterlot in the cave system? I mean... I doubt the Princess would check under her own home right? But... What if that's the first place she looks?! She's a smart mare, she's probably had to punish thousands of princess wannabes in her time as ruler, she might know all their tricks! I'm doomed! "Spike I'm sorry!" I wailed, sitting down and crying. "I won't do it again!"

"Twilight calm down and let me in so we can talk about this!" Book fort! That's right, I can make a fort out of the books! I'm not doomed! Book by book I assembled the retaining wall, then the main wall, then the castle around me, each in a square formation.

"I won't let them take me alive! I'd sooner die than watch them ruin all my books!" I gasped. "Much less watch them ruin all my books and then get banished!" I'm such a horrible, horrible pony.

Burp!

I heard the noise I'd been dreading: Princess Celestia's response. "Spike, write Princess Celestia and tell her I'm sorry! Please!" I hid under my hooves, curling closer and closer to myself.

After a moment of hesitation—a moment of pure terror on my part—Spike finally responded. "Okay uh... Done! I sent her a letter saying it was a prank, Child Services aren't going to arrest you or anything like that okay?" I gasped, uncurling a little, peeking through the cracks in the books. "Everything is okay, Twilight." I shifted left and right, panning my very obscured view around the door. I stayed really quiet, almost hoping he would forget I was in here. "Twilight?" He called again, a little quieter.

I pressed my face into the crook of my foreleg, trying to suppress my ragged breathing. Not to mention drying my surprisingly damp face. "Y–Yeah. Give me a m–minute." I slowly stood up as my magic stacked the books around me in tall towers, easily knocked over or thrown as minor weapons if this turns out to be a trap after all. Worry niggled further into my mind as I sat back down. It might be a trapped—It most likely was a trap! "Sp–Spike?"

"Yeah, Twi?"

I grabbed the shelves, but didn't move them. "I'm so, so sorry. I–I didn't know—I wouldn't have–"

"It's okay Twilight, I forgive you." He sighed, just barely audible through the door and shelves.

I gulped, moving the shelves back to where they belong one by one. "I'm sorry..." I muttered under my breath as the final shelf moved away. The door cracked open and Spike peaked in cautiously.

"Twilight?" He entered slowly, his voice small and quiet. "Are you okay? Can I come over?" I looked him over, I knew he alone couldn't harm me too badly, so I nodded. As he walked over slowly I eyed the stacks of books wearily, wondering a little why I put them there. I need to organize these! But first comes Spike. He finally got near me. "Twilight, I want you to listen to me for a moment, okay?"

«♦»

There! A place for every book, every book in its place. "Thank you, Spike."

Spike wiped the sweat off his forehead and nodded. "No problem, Twilight. We needed to re–shelve this room again soon anyway, right?" I nodded. "Oh, right!" He ran out of the room, giving me the perfect excuse to raise my eyebrow.

"What's up, Spike?" I called out, following him. He ran back in with a letter in his claw.

"Here. I forgot to give you this earlier when you were all..." He trailed off, waving his claw in a circle. "You know." He handed it over, "I think it's from that filly, uh..." I scratched the back of his head. "Cloudy Pies or whatever."

"Sunny Skies." I corrected, accepting the letter and unfolding it.

Dear Princess Twilight,

Is this too early? If so, I'm sorry! But thank you so, so much for being my friend. It really means a whole big lot! Maybe one day when you visit Cloudsdale we can see each other and hang out if my moms and dads are okay with it.

Also, is Spike the little purple dragon? I've heard about him, but is he nice? And tell him I'm sorry for waking him up.

Your friend,

Sunny Skies

There it was again. "Moms" and "dads". Plural. As in more than one of each. It could be aunts and uncles and she doesn't know the term, but given her age that isn't very likely. I mean... I could just ask right? If it's a sensitive question, she could always just refuse to answer."Twilight? Everything okay?"

I folded the letter up again as I looked down at Spike, "Yes, Spike. Sunny Skies said sorry for waking you up—even though that was technically my fault—and wanted to know what you were like though, whether you were nice or not." I hummed, smiling as I looked up. "I wonder if you might want to write her a letter telling her about yourself?" Before I could even look down I heard his clawed feet tapping away down the hall to find paper and quill. Paper and quill which there were some of in this very room I might add. I shook my head as I grabbed some up, bringing it over and carefully inscribing out the letter.

Dear Sunny Skies,

No, no, the time of day you sent it is more than fine. Sorry for the late reply however, me and Spike were

My eye twitched as I thought of the correct word to use.

busy. Even if this is out of the order your last letter set, yes. Spike is indeed the purple dragon. I believe he is also sending a letter, so you can read that if you want to know more about him. Maybe you could even write to him specifically sometime.

While I'd love to visit you one day in Cloudsdale, there's something that's a tad concerning to me about your last two letters. You specfically used the phrases, "moms" and "dads". As in there are more than one in your family. Would you care to clarify that? If not, and you would rather avoid the subject, don't worry. I won't force it on you to answer. But it's just a curiosity of mine.

Your friend,

Princess Twilight

«♦»

“Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.”
― Jim Butcher, Storm Front

Author's Note

Secretly, this story is about Twilight's decent into sleep deprived madness.

Also, I imagine Twilight has breakdowns like Lesson Zero a lot more than they show on the show. Like it's a fairly regular thing for the Sparkle household. But Hasbro didn't want to show that anymore. Glares and waves quill angrily at the company.

And yes, I did use a lot of her freaking out for comedic purposes, but if you really think about it, it's not a very funny thing to be honest. Like... Imagine going through that almost every week. :rainbowderp: At least that's how I think about it. Like... Imagine how Spike must feel, living there with Twilight? She's a figurative bomb with uninsulated wires. One wrong word and she'll explode.

And thanks to Scorch215 for pre–reading!

Pink

Oh no, oh no, no, no. I could hardly breathe as I scooted further under the blankets. Don't breathe too loud, Twilight. Don't wake Spike up for nothing; this is probably nothing.

Probably.

I mean how often is there somepony watching you from a window huh? I mean only once in a lifetime unless you're an immortal princess I imagine. Aww hay, I'm not even sure there's somepony out there to top things off! "I'm probably fine." I said under my breathe as I slithered out of bed and crawled across the floor to under the window. Just a peek, then back to bed. I swallowed hard before peeping over the edge of the window sill. Nothing. I jumped back down to my hiding spot. What if they saw me getting out of bed and they moved to the other window? I then inched along the wall to the other side of the room.

"Twilight?" I froze, not even shifting my eyes. "What are you doing?"

I nervously giggled a little as I looked over at Spike, who was giving me a very disapproving gaze. "I'm ah..." I looked at the door on the exact opposite side of the room. "Going to the bathroom." Oh buck me.

Spike too looked at the door, then back at me. "The door's over there." He pointed. "Like..." He pointed at me. "There." Then jabbed his claw out again for emphasis.

"Yes it is! Yes. It. Is." I grinned widely at him, sweating a bit as my eyes shift between the window and him.

Spike sighed. "Get it over with." He gestured to the window, to which I flocked like a merry minion. Left, right, up and down were all devoid of life. I was safe after all! "Better?"

I nodded to him, humming happily as I pranced over and got back in bed. "Wait!" I yelled, sitting up and throwing my covers off as I tumbled over to the first window in a panic. "What if they went back to this window?!"

«♦»

Dear Princess Twilight,

Oh no, no, no. I do indeed have a lot of moms and dads. Well they're not REALLY my moms and dads, but the white daddies always take care of me when I get hurt and the white mommies always help me and my brothers and sisters throughout the day and give me my meals and stuff. So they're kinda like mommies and daddies.

My actual mom and dad are away on a business trip right now, they just left me here until they get back

Your friend,

Sunny Skies

I'm... Not sure what to make of this. 'White mommies'? 'White daddies'? I sighed, the letter sailing down to the table. Every letter she sends only makes more mysteries than they solve. "I don't know, Spike." I picked up the letter and looked it over again. "If somepony were making little to zero sense to you, how would you get answers without seeming like a nose–y jerk?"

"Go see her in person? You're a princess after all, it shouldn't be too hard to arrange a visit to Cloudsdale."

"Less nose–y, Spike. Less. Nose–y." I reiterated. "I want to seem only sorta curious, not like one of those mothers who stick their noses in where it really doesn't belong." I grumbled, thoughts of my own mom surfacing a bit. No, Mom. I don't want you to visit and clean my room and call me a messy nerd while you berate my home, even though it's a bucking castle and I'm Equestrian Royalty." I smiled down at the frustrating letter. "Still, she did say that she wouldn't mind a visit. Maybe I could pop in and say hi? Yeah!" I poofed the letter away, two fresh parchments flashing in front of me, my quill at the ready.

"I'll even have Rainbow and Fluttershy give me a tour of Cloudsdale when I get there." I then proceeded to scribe both letters simultaneously.

«♦»

I sighed, hunching back into the purple tinged sky carriage as I read over the letter from Fluttershy again.

Twilight,

I know that address very well and I'm pretty sure this isn't going to be anything like you imagine it'll be. But I've asked Rainbow Dash to go on home back to Ponyville while I stay here with you. This whole ordeal isn't... Something I really wanted to happen yet. But I will help you and explain as best as I can.

Fluttershy

It's starting to seem like ponies are adopting to writing the most cryptic, answer–less letters they can respond with. I imagine the pony who edited for the pony who wrote Sherclop Hooves is now working for the Equestrian Post. He probably opens every letter and rewrites it to be a bucking mystery novel. I groaned at my theory. It would be actually sound and likely if it weren't for the fact that my letters are filtered straight through Spike's lungs and specifically not the Equestrian Post. "Well at least we have the perfect excuse to show up unannounced I suppose." I entertained the thought more to myself than my companion. "Should we bring a gift? Or would that be too presumptuous?"

"No gift." Spike said, turning a page in his comic. "Like, how would your mom react if some random pony brought you a gift when you were a foal?"

I scratched the back of my head. "Well I am a Princess after all. But you're right, gifts are more of a second visit type thing." I leaned over and glanced over the page with my dear assistant. "What is he doing with that spatula?" I ask incredulously.

Spike shrugged after a moment, closing the comic and sitting it rather far aside. "Well how old's this filly anyway?"

"Eleven—What was he going to do with that spatula?"

He hummed to himself. "Well I guess that's like a year after you went to live in the castle with Princess Celestia." I sighed as he scratched the back of his head. "So maybe it's less awkward than I thought?"

"No, Spike. If I'm honest with myself, it's still very awkward and unorthodox." My ears fell a bit. "My tutelage under Princess Celestia was always very formal. My correspondence with this filly however is more along the lines of something a close family member or—Celestia forbid—a fillyfooler would do."

"Twilight, I hate to break it to you, but you're not a fillyfooler." Spike gave me the most impatient stare he could muster. "You have fillies and colts in your castle all the time on tutoring business. If you were, I doubt you'd still have a business in that field."

I threw my hooves up, "If anything, that only cements that I could be a subconscious fillyfooler!" I cradled my face in my hooves, dragging my cheeks down. "Why else would I want to surround myself with Equestrian youths?!"
"Because you like teaching?"

"I mean now that I think about it, I accidentally stared at Scootaloo's cutie mark for a half second longer than what might be seen as the norm during our last tutor session. What if she's telling everypony at home I'm a foal lover?!" I quite rightfully started to hyperventilate. "I need to disprove thi–"
"Twilight."

The color drained from my face as the thought from before reemerged with a vengeance. "Wait! What if I really am? I did do the staring—granted the subject of the lesson was what her cutie mark really meant—but does that excuse it?" I looked down at Spike, vigorously shaking him with my hooves. "Spike! Does that excuse it?!"

His eyes kept spinning for a second. "I think so, but your rather..." He removed my hooves from his shoulders. "Insensitive 'questioning' could be seen as foal abuse by some ponies." He then quickly held his claws up. "Not to say I do, I rather enjoy your bluntness and very violent questions. But just a thought: Don't do this to Sunny Skies."

I whinnied, hiding my head between my legs. "Spike, now I'm really nervous!"

"Don't worry so much, Twi."

"Err..." The guardspony pulling the carriage cleared his throat. "Is now a bad time to remind you we've been circling Cloudsdale for fifteen minutes?"

"Yes I'm sorry, please remind me again when I've calmed down." I smiled at him, slipping another pouch of tipping bits into his saddlebags.

«♦»

"Whew! That was a longer trip than I anticipated." I waved as Phillips Head flew away slowly, waving back at me happily over his bulging saddlebags. "Glad we could make it though." I turned back to my friend.

Fluttershy crossed the breach and pulled me into a gentle hug, which I returned. "It's so nice to see you again, Twilight." She pulled back and smiled. "Would you like to grab some food before we... Ah..." She trailed off, frowning a little.

I raised an eyebrow. "Sure. Know anywhere good?"

She smiled and nodded.

«♦»

“Of course it was a terrible thing, and the world would be a much better place without someone in it who could do that, but did that mean we had to miss lunch?”
― Jeff Lindsay

Author's Note

Sorry it took so long and it's so short. Have a video to fill your time, try to sing along.

Black

'Mother Caretaker's Home for Troubled Foals' My mouth worked daftly as I read the sign again. "'Home for Troubled Foals'?" I echoed the words to Fluttershy. "I'm not sure I understand. Are you sure this is the right place?"

She nodded. "I'm positive. I..." She leaned down until her hair fell over her face a bit more. "I used to go here a lot as a filly... Dad always thought there was something wrong with me... Some reason why I was like 'this'." Her voice kept getting quieter and quieter.

"Fluttershy..." I leaned down and nuzzled her cheek, wrapping a wing around her. "Nothing's wrong with who you are, you know that right?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Thank you, Twilight." She smiled at me, her voice edging up, bit by bit.

I smiled before looking back. "But I don't get it. Sunny Skies seems ordinary for the most part, why would she be here?"

"Fillies and colts go here for a lot of reasons." Fluttershy frowned. "A couple were just like me. Nothing wrong with them really, but their parents thought they were broken somehow because they weren't what they wanted. And sometime foals were just... left here." She walked over, slipping from under my wing, and placed a hoof on the walls of the obviously old cloudhouse. "Nopony ever came back for them, even when the ponies here helped them come to terms with their illness or informed them they didn't have one."

"That's... Horrible." I frowned at the home again. "I'm glad Granny Dash could look after Spike, I'd rather him not come here if I'm honest." I winced. "N–Not that I want to shelter him too much or anything but..."

"I understand Twilight, and so does Granny Dash." Fluttershy smiled at me, coming over and placing a hoof on my shoulder. "Are you ready to go inside and find Sunny?" I nodded. "Okay."

Knock knock knock knock

Fluttershy knocked before stepping back.

We waited there for a minute or two, me shuffling from hoof to hoof and Fluttershy waiting patiently. I went to knock again, but—for some reason—Fluttershy said to wait. And wait we did until the door finally started to creak open. "Fluttershy? Is that you, dear?" Fluttershy smiled and nodded at the elderly mare who'd opened the door. "Oh my–Dear come, come. Please." She gestured us inside, inching out of the way.

Fluttershy trotted over and hugged the mare. "It's been too long since my last visit, Mother Caretaker."

"It really has dear, truly." Caretaker pulled away and looked my friend over. "Why; look at'chu. All grown up and your own mare." Tears started to bead around her eyes as she just gushed and gushed over Fluttershy. "I've heard so much about you in recent years, I was afraid I wouldn't see you again before I went and kicked the bucket. What with your fantastically busy life now and all." She nodded to me. "I would bow, Your Highness, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to get up."

"Don't worry, Ms. Caretaker." I smiled at her, walking past the two and closing the door for them. "And please, just Twilight is fine." I glanced around, the old home showed ever true on it's interior. The pegasus cloud wall spell structure was definitely around 800 A.N.M.(After Nightmare Moon), not quite as solid as the modern equivalent, nor as efficient.

"Mother Caretaker," Fluttershy caught her attention. "I'm afraid I didn't just come for a visit. Twilight has been writing letters to a filly here in the home and she's started to get concerned—Sunny Skies?"

"Who the hay is Sunny–Oh." Caretaker nodded, her wrinkled lips in the shape of an o. "Oooh. I see." She kept nodding. "That's who she's been writing. She told me it was letters to Santa Hooves."

I tilted my head. "It's June."

"We get all types here, Twilight." I immediately decided to shut up and never talk of this again. "So Sunny," She put an odd emphasis on it, causing me to raise another eyebrow. "What has she been writing to you about, Princess?"

I bit down the urge to argue her calling me Princess. "Just normal conversation I suppose. She sent me a post card of her family, told me how she doesn't have many friends—and asked for advise about that—and..." I shook my head. "Just normal stuff any ordinary foal might write the Princess of Friendship about I guess."

Caretaker nodded. "Fluttershy, dear. Would you go and find Doctor ah..." She scrunched her face in confusion, waving one hoof around in a circle. "What's–his–face... Doctor Whoever." She stared at Fluttershy, who stared back with a patient smile. "Brown fellow, dark hair and a bowtie? You won't miss him. He's in Doctor Goldfield's old office." Fluttershy nodded and went down the hall.

"Let's sit down a bit, Twilight—These old bones don't much like to stand for too long you know." She chuckled.

I nodded and kept the slow pace with her as we slowly made way over to a table surrounded by four chairs. "Do you have that post card with you, dear?"

"Uhhh." I thought about it sitting on my desk at home. "One moment." I closed my eyes, reaching out and trying to grab it. My brow conquered more and more of my face as I scrunched my face in frustration, a bead of sweat riding the conquest down my face. There! I sighed in relief as the postcard popped up in front of me in a purple flash.

"Fancy magic work there, Princess." Caretaker had taken her seat. "Did you actually grab that there post card all the way from your castle?" I smiled meekly, nodding a little as a blush took the territory my brow had lost in my victory. "Princess Celestia really knows how to pick'em doesn't she?" I kept blushing more as I took my seat.

I coughed into my hoof. "Heheh... Yeah, I guess." I placed the letter on the table in front of her. "This is the postcard she sent me."

Caretaker nodded as she looked it over. "Thought so." She then turned around and started skimming around the bookcase near the table. "Have you ever heard of that radio show, Half Empty House?" She asked casually.

I frowned. "No, I don't really keep up with radio shows. Not really my thing, I prefer books." I glanced at the vacant hallway, impatiently waiting for Fluttershy to come back.

"Well maybe you'll recognize this." She tossed a only slightly dusty magazine on the table, eliciting a gasp from me. "Is that?!"

"Yup. That is Sunny Skies." She tapped on the image of the filly. "Or Bright Horizon as she's also know. She's the voice actress of Sunny Skies on the radio show."

I. My. What. My brain hurts. I stared at the magazine. "But..."

"The filly you've been talking to is... She has troubles we have to help her work out." Caretaker leaned back in her seat.

"Princess?" I turned around and found Fluttershy and... "I'm Doctor Cornflakes." He extended a hoof. I pushed out my own from reflex and shook his. "I work with that filly more than most doctors here. She's something of my life's work." Luckily he wasn't too old.

"Is it that bad?" I asked stupidly. It was obvious who it was.

"Well." He sighed. "The filly you've been talking to..." He waved a hoof. "Mother Caretaker, would you mind if I took the Princess to see her?" He asked past me quickly.

The old mare waved a hoof. "Thank you, dear. I'm not sure I could make it all the way there and back in time for bed time." She laughed heartily, ending in a dry cough.

Doctor Cornflakes nodded. "I'll be sure to send Nurse Go Fish and Nurse Blackjack to help you to bed when I'm done."

«♦»

"Princess, this is her room." Doctor Cornflakes gestured to the door. The door that had a piece of paper tacked on it claiming it was the Janitor's Room in crayon. He obviously saw the look I was giving him. "She put that there herself soon after arriving. She doesn't want random strangers to find her room and she thinks everyone hates janitors so..." He sighed.

"Right." I shuffled in place. "Do I just knock or is there a special procedure or–"

"Just knocking is fine, Princess." He smiled at me patiently.

I giggled before reaching up and tapping quietly on the door. "Who is it?!" A shrill, tiny voice screamed. "Go away! I'm a janitor, I'll like... Give you germs and get you sick or something!"

"Sunny Skies? It's Princess Twilight!" I yelled back through the door.

Silence then followed for a bit. I gave Cornflakes a look but he just shrugged. "Are you sure?" The voice asked, much closer to the door. "Count Chocolate?"

"Yes?" Cornflakes responded.

"Is she really Princess Twilight? Can you get me a sample of her hair?!" She banged a hoof against the door. "Maybe get a wizard to cast a disillusioning spell on her?"

"Already did that! She's one hundred percent, the one and only, Princess of Friendship." He sorta lied. "I promise."

More silence. "You know the drill." She finally said as several things were thrown about the room.

Doctor Cornflakes sighed. "I'm sorry about this, Your Highness. But she insists that if we are to enter her room we have to walk in backwards with our eyes closed." He frowned. "I'm still not entirely sure why we have to do it backwards."

I frowned. "That's..." I coughed. "Entirely okay." I turned around, lining my flanks up with the door.

"We're ready." He said through the door before turning around and closing his eyes. I nodded and squeezed mine shut too.

Cloc-Clink!

I heard the tale tell sound of a bolt lock unlocking before the door creaked open. A tiny gasp followed before a tiny hoof prodded the back of my leg. "Princess Twilight?"

I nodded. "Yep. I said I'd visit one day, didn't I?"

"Count Chocolate, you're relieved. Me and Princess Twilight have a lot to talk about." She then proceed to pull on my leg before I started walking backwards by her lead.

"Err." While he didn't sound thrilled, he nodded. "If you need anything, I'll be right outside."

"Thank you Doctor C–Count Chocolate." I corrected myself. I heard the door slam and lock. "Can I open my eyes?"

"Wait... Just one moment." I felt something placed gently on my head. "Okay. You're good." I opened my eyes and looked up at the strange hat on my head. "You can't be in here without one." I followed the voice to the top of a loft bed, the railing on it extending all the way to the ceiling in crossing bars of wood. Two golden eyes peaked out from a tiny opening. "It keeps you safe."

I swallowed. "From...?"

A tiny filly inched out of the shadows. "Everything." She said quietly, she herself covered in numerous strange garments and charms. Her pupils were wide, probably from living in this dark tomb of a room. The windows were painted over it what I believe was red and black hoof paint, the lights were all off too. Only barely any light made it in. "If they can't see you, they can't get you." She adjusted my hat. "And this is the minimum amount of protection required."

I nodded, casting a silent charm to enhance my vision. tacked and taped to every wall were drawings and letters. I even spotted a few from myself, but many were all in her hand writing, just different names on them. Below the bed was a piled high desk, paper and books and boxes spilling over and covering the floor below it too. "Sunny, h–how are you doing?"

She shushed me, holding a hoof to her lips. "Call me Lily in here. In the halls I'm Hippopotamus Baby, and in the Count's room I'm Princess Fluffybuns." Her eyes shifted. "Not to disrespect your title I mean, never! I wouldn't ever, ever, ever do that!" She giggled softly. "I mean, you're a princess! A real one, here in my room!" She gasped. "Are you here to help me or doom me?" She slinked back into the shadows of her loft, shadows even my enhanced couldn't pierce without a stronger, more obvious charm. But I still saw her bright golden eyes. "Did they ask you to come here?"

"N–No, I came here to talk to you in pony." I replied, too reluctant to inch forward or to inch backward. Either could end badly.

"Oh." She hummed. "We need to hide your name. Do you like Princess Laser? What about Princess of Magic? Oh! Starbutt!" She started to cackle. "Genius!" I mean, it does have a nice ring to it. And I do have a stars flank I think.

«♦»

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
― George Carlin

Purple

I cleared my throat. "So uh... Lily." I cleared it again, looking around awkwardly. "Do you like tea?" When she started nodding frantically I sighed in relief, at least we could bond over one similar interest. "Doctor Cornf–" I cringed at her radically transformed expression. Gone was the excitement, instead replaced with livid fury. "C–Count Chocolate?" I very quickly corrected to my host's delight as she continued to sneak around the room in the dark.

"Yes, Your Highness?" He responded.

"Starbutt!" Lily quickly corrected, throwing a stray boot at the door in anger.

"Yes, er..." He hesitated. "Your Starbutt–ness?"

I stifled a giggle. "Could you bring us some warm tea?"

He agreed and quickly left. Likely due to embarrassment at calling a princess Starbutt. I had to admit however, it had a nice ring to it. If I weren't already named, I would've loved that name I think. "So! Lily, what do you like to do for fun?"

She quickly shook her head, her tiny wings giving a weak flap as she grabbed and hung from the loft railing bars. "No funnies in here, Starbutt. This is a bad place." She climbed up it, literally turning sideways as she clambered towards me. "It's a huge risk just talking to you, but I love you." She whispered, pushing her emotionless face right into mine, crushing our noses together. "I want to know everything about you, so it's worth it."

I felt the sweat drop down the back of my neck as I inched backwards, suddenly very uncomfortable. "That's ah..." I laughed unintentionally, a reflex to feeling this awkward. "I'm not so sure I..." I coughed, ducking under her and quickly escaping to the other side of the room. "I'm not so sure that's appropriate, Lily!" I blurted out, my wings ruffling as fight or flight instincts wanted to kick in. Particularly the flight ones. "Lets just steer away from this topic, okay? Okay!" I proceeded to giggle as I glanced around the room, smiling brightly as I cheerfully removed my hoof from the from the awkwardly damp papers on the ground. "I see you like drawing." I remarked, looking over the walls.

"Mhm!" She bound to the floor and climbed up a stack of cover–less books, plucking a page from the wall. "Here!" I quickly caught the fluttering page she threw at me, turning it to see... Something.

"It's..." I studied it. "Beautiful?"

She slipped under me and pointed at it. "It's my kidney!" She grinned as she shifted her protective clothing to show a strange discoloration on her side. "One of mine was taken out so I drew it from memory." She traced the jagged line trailing her side. On the outside I just grinned wider, only to stop my internal retching. That was not something I really wanted to know, but oh well! "Is it accurate?" She looked the drawing over again.

"That's nice!" I pinned the drawing back to the wall.

"Your Starbutt–ness?" I galloped over to the door. "I have your tea."

"Oh wonderful! Please, uh... Bring it in." I glanced at Lily again.

She bounded over and pressed against the door. "Count Chocolate? Are you ready?"

"Yes, I am."

She unlocked the door and climbed up a stack of books, holding a particularly large one in her hooves. "Enter." She pulled the door open with a sheet rope, wearily watching him walk in backwards. For moment I feared she'd pounce him and try to kill him with the book, but thankfully she just watched until the door was shut. She sighed in relief, hoping down and staring right in his face. "It's safe." She said as she pulled another hat from under her loft, smacking it on his head.

He opened his eyes, taking her antics in stride. "Your tea." He bowed to me slightly as I levitated the tea from his back. I glanced around for a place to put it, but holding it in my magic was the easiest solution.

"Thank you." I smiled sincerely to him as he stood back up.

"No problem, Princes–I mean Starbutt." He looked down at our tiny host, watching from afar. "And how's my patient today?" She stuck her tongue out at him, causing him to laugh. "That's good. Have you been sleeping well or do I need to change the medicine again?" He crouched down, trying to be on eye level with her.

She sighed, "I told you, I don't need any medicine for sleeping! It doesn't help." While they were talking I busied myself with preparing the tea. I sat aside two cups, placing a sugar cube at the bottom of each before pouring the tea over them. I grinned at the steam wafting up, I love the feeling of searing hot coffee running down my throat, it's better than a Pinkie Pie hug. I shivered as a cold chill danced down my spine. I found myself nervously looking down for a moment before I changed my thoughts to 'it's almost better than a Pinkie Pie hug'.

I stirred them before handing the cup down to Lily. She took a small sip, her pupils shrinking as she stared at the cup. I ignored it, looking at the Doctor. "So Count Chocolate, how long have you been–" Lily screamed, throwing the cup of tea nearly in my face. Instead she missed, splashing it across Doctor Cornflakes' face. As he yelled and clutched his face in pain I looked between them rather confused. "What's wrong?!"

She bound across the room, grabbing things and throwing them at me. Books, stuffed toys, paper all bounced harmlessly off my magic as I just stared at her. "You traitor!" She grabbed the large book from earlier, struggling to lift it over her head. "You tried to poison me! That tea tasted wrong and I saw you!" She hissed, throwing the book barely far enough to not crush her hooves below. "Putting the poison in it, you–you..." She shook her head, nearly biting her tongue as she growled and babbled. "Princess Twilight Sparkle." She stomped before whispering the words out like rabid foam.

And so we waited there, staring at each other in dead silence. Doctor Cornflakes held a hoof over his eye, not daring to make another noise as he watched us both. She suddenly looked around. "Princess Twilight Sparkle!" She yelled out, looking around her room in confusion. "Of Friendship!" She added with another stomp, her expression turning from rage to terror.

"Lily?" Cornflakes asked quietly.

She didn't even glance at him, her eyes kept shifting left to right. "Princess Twilight Sparkle!" She screeched to the room, backing herself into a corner. Me and Cornflakes shared a glance before looking back at her. "Why?! Kill her! Kill her, kill her, kill her!" Sobs racked from her as she hid between her hooves in the corner. "You know her name..." I barely heard her now as Cornflakes started to walk closer to her. She had curled into a ball, muttering and whispering to her stomach. "You... know..."

Doctor Cornflakes removed his hoof from his eye, wincing before closing it again. He reached down to her slowly, "Lily... Calm down, okay? Nothing's going to hurt you." When he placed his hoof on her head and tried to pet her, she only smacked his hoof away. He looked back at me with his one eye and frowned. "I'm sorry, Princess. But I think we need to leave her alone for a little bit. She needs some time to cool off I think." He cast another glance down to her before walking over and opening the door.

I frowned as well, gathering the shattered cup up in my magic before leaving the room.

«♦»

“Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up”
― Veronica Roth

Chapter 1 — The End of the Rainbow

I felt horrible. I knew my intentions were at least good, but this was roaming the grayed line of legality and ethics more so than a lot of experiments I'd conducted. Which was a grand statement considering what I did to that poor frog all those years ago. I searched around before prodding the nearest node. From what I'd read, these were memories or experiences, or at least an idea with strong emotions attached to it. While it might be productive to tear it open and explore, it could also end up quite dangerous. If I wasn't careful, I could have gotten wrapped up in the experience myself, possibly lost myself in it forever. Having both her broken mind and my own crammed inside a mere single memory? If she ever remembered that memory... I feared to even consider the implications. But... It was the best option I had in mind.

I leached out with my magic as finality, ripping a repairable hole in the node to force my mind through; I poured my focus into the tear.

«♦»

"She is not a god." Huh? "She is not the sun." What? "And she is not Equestria's savior." My eyes peeked open in a crowd of robes, all appear to be foals it would seem. In the distance I focused on a robed mare with a green coat, her face blurred from my vision. Right in front of me was a stallion with a rather extravagant robe. It's pitch black; deep blue ribbons lacing through it. "She is only a pony. A pony who has all of Equestria eating from her hooves." I quickly looked back down as the stallion—in one grand, casting gesture—referred back to the foals. "These foals are our future, my little ponies. Their clay like minds have to be properly molded and protected, lest they fall pray to the ill thought we once had."

I... Lily was a crazy cult kid? I mean, it explains a few things. "Moons Dawn my children! Let the holy pitch swallow Equuis whole!" The stallion cried as my gaze lifted slowly.

"Moons Dawn! Moons Dawn!" The crowd, Lily included, reached out to the sky and chanted, where I saw the full moon, encrusted with the Mare in the Moon herself. A cult that worshiped Princess Luna? ...Or Nightmare Moon. My less-than-willing host was much smaller in this memory. This could easily be in the last three or four years.

«♦»

Fear. Feeling someone else fearing something through a memory transfer or a mind walk is... Disorienting. You, the viewer, don't feel the fear as you usually do, rather, you see a warped and distorted world based around that fear. Where a normal pony would see a clown, someone with coulrophobia might see a horrible monster, or just a clown. It's a hit and miss sort of thing—sometimes you can find a really interesting distortion, other times it's just a boring, run of the mill fear. But watching Lily fear light itself was... Disturbingly interesting. Even looking at it seemed to give her various hallucinogenic effects, among which were extreme auditory and varying grades of visual ones.

The stallion reached his hoof into the light. The various, vivid and gory images of searing flesh and charcoal-turned coats that shimmered over his hoof were the least unspeakable of that which appeared. The sheer amount of terror she held for the light and sun could likely be turned into a scientific work of a lifetime, but that wasn't what I was trying to accomplish. "Celestia's light; a pity really." She looked over to the head honcho of the crazy cult. "Blinding light. It carves through the night like a butter knife; the ultimate weapon against our people."

Actually, getting a closer look at the stallion, I thought he looked a tad odd. Like... His eyes! The pupils were gigantic! Had he lived in a cave his whole life? Oh! Maybe he had a birth disorder that developed into severe photophobia caused by physical malformation? "Why does she do it, Master?"

An odd way of addressing him. "Simply because she's evil, child. Even one as small minded as you should have picked that up from our sermons." He sighed, "Come. We have work to do." She struggled to keep up with him as he walked away at a jogging pace for her.

«♦»

I coughed, lifting my head out of the moist dirt. "H-Hello?" I called out. I blinked several times, not Lily, me. I'd... Somehow been pushed out of her mind. I looked around the pitch darkness around me; I was in a forest. I tried to stand, but my legs fell from under me, much shorter than I remembered. I shrieked before slamming my head against the ground, my ears ringing loudly. "Oooh...." I moaned, curling into a ball to further hug my achy head.

I whined before peeking from between my... tiny... filly hooves... huh. I pulled away, the pain instantly being drown out by shock and curiosity as I inspected them. "I'm... a filly." My eye twitched slightly as my voice squeaked. I struggled to comprehend what had happened. Had I somehow copied the psyche of fillyhood from Lily's memories and my body adapted? No... Was I still in a memory? I feel in control, and that fall... It actually hurt. I sighed, cradling my head as a different pain engulfed it.

I stood up shakily, my hooves were wobbling under me like a twig holding up Canterlot. "Okay, Sparkle. You got this." I tooted a few breathes in and out and I tried to balance myself. I tried to take a step, only succeeding in further filthying my already ragged-y and muddy mane. I groaned, sitting back up and taking a deep breath. I held in in my hoof, before waving my troubles away. "Okay... You're lost, alone, cold, wet and muddy. You've somehow been de-aged to a filly with..." I tested my magic, struggling to pick up a twig. In my mind, I saw Canterlot swaying as it's support shivered in my grasp. "Equally de-aged magical capabilities, though retained knowledge of how to cast the spells at least."

I nodded a few times, gently nibbling my lower lip. "I've faced worse, right?" I looked around, wishing for somepony to answer.

«♦»

"There is no passion so contagious as that of fear."

— Michel de Montaigne

Author's Note

Guh... This chapter was horrid... But I was being made to write on threat of death. ...Well close enough.

EDIT: That was great. I popped in tonight to check on the chapter, but it turns out that when I finished writing it last night, it didn't like it and forgot to save it. ;-; So... Here I guess... Oh, and thanks to SpiritOfDancingFlames for editing.

Chapter 2 — Shade

I’d been wandering for a long time now. By now, I would’ve thought I’d of found a town already. But… Just forest. Not even any clearings. I sighed, reaching and wiping my face with the pit of my foreleg, the hoof of it covered in mud and muck. “Hellooo? I called again, my voice quiet and distant, desperate for any sort of contact.

But no pony answered this time either. Though I still heard the howling responses of distant timber wolves or the growls of nearer creatures that could, more–than–likely, tear me limb from limb. I winced and hurried on, hoping that whatever it was, that it’s horrible at tracking a pony. Then I saw it, something spectacular and amazing in the distance. A small woodland town. The flickering, pale orange lights hinting at hanging lanterns giving it’s location away.

I started to be happy until I realized how tired I was and settled for an up beat song to hum while vaguely smiling. I could already smell a yummy daffodil salad, or even a sandwich. Maybe even a pizza! Oh! Oh! Or— I tripped onto my face. I groaned, pulling myself up to my barrel slowly. I opened my eyes and blinked.

Then I shook my head and blinked a few more times. Well, it wasn’t exactly a town. More of a cabin. “Hel...lo...?” I croaked, my throat dry and crusty. I coughed, swallowing whatever saliva I could find in my mouth a couple times. “Hello?!” I quickly stood to my hooves, then in quite the opposite fashion laid back down in agony of my aching legs. “Ughh… Ow… Eck…” I muttered, curling into a small ball of ache-y legs and growling tummies.

I relaxed a little, before trying again and slowly making my way over to the cabin. I inspected the door, slightly suspicious as various horror novel scenarios filled my mind, before shrugging away those blatant stereotypes and knocking. After several moments of me staring at the door and dreading knocking again, I was about to try again when the door opened slowly.

I opened my mouth a little and squeaked nervously. “H-Hello?” I coughed and scratched the back of my head with my icky hoof before giggling nervously. “Ah… Yes. My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I’m a princess. You may not recognize me because I’m sorta… younger than I should be, but--”

The door opened wider, revealing a sickly yellow stallion, his hair sorta orange but not really. “He leaned down and inspected the filly, eyeing her hooves to face.” I arched an eyebrow nervously as he started narrating what he was doing in third person. We stayed like that for a while, him looking up and down slowly, before he remarked something absolutely brilliant. “Pretty face.”

I blinked for a moment before grinning widely, “Riiiight! Well, uh, I think I hear my...” I stared with an awkward grin, my eyes shifting left to right as I thought for any sort of excuse, “Mom calling! Yes! So I should like...” I started inching backwards.

“He didn’t like that,” The stallion started stalking towards me slowly, his eyes bulging but the pupils like pinpricks. “He started to follow her with slow, calculated, careful steps.” I chose this moment to bolt. Turning in place, I started running. But my earlier exhaustion was only momentarily forgotten, my legs seeming to turn into jelly as I slowed down with each step away from the stallion. “She ran and he chased”

I licked my lips nervously, before ducking into a bush. I panted as quietly as I could, wishing with all my might that I could stop wheezing for one minute so he could pass by without hearing probably the loudest filly on Equuis.

“He peeked into the wheezing bush, wandering eyes finding his prize.” I felt my blood run cold–...Erm... Colder because I was already freezing. I turned towards the origin of the stallion's voice, and came muzzle to muzzle with him. “Eyes.”

«♦»

I wasn’t quite sure where I was as my eyes opened, I didn’t even quite recall falling asleep. But I wasn’t comfortable, or any better fed for that matter. I glanced around without moving, gauging the situation before taking action. With this, I came to the most astute and amazing conclusion of this decade. It was dark. Very, very dark. At this point I shifted around as best as I could and found that my hooves were bound.

I struggled against my bindings lightly, not wanting to waste too much strength and also because I felt completely horrible, flopping around softly to look behind me. I spotted a light source, it looked like it was coming from a keyhole from across the room. I glanced down at my bound hooves, not seeing anything honestly, and back at the door before attempting to inchworm to it.

I scooched like no other filly in the history of history had scooched across the floor. Pushing with my lower body, and pulling with my upper as I dragged myself across the floor to the door. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was planning to do when I got there. Bang my head against it? Pray to Celestia it wasn’t locked or properly shut? And then what? Inch across the forest I presumed I was still in to civilisation? In all honesty, this wasn’t the most well thought out plan I’d had.

Eventually I bumped my head against the door, “Ow…” I muttered quietly from pure instinct. Instantly I regretted that as I heard hoofsteps approaching the door.

The door thunked into my head, soliciting another quiet ouch from me as it pushed me none-too-gently across the floor, ruining part of the hard work I’d put into getting there. I huffed as it stopped, rolling over to at least see who it was. I felt my heartbeat stutter, which was odd considering about how improbable that was considering my body was likely too young at the moment to be in danger of a heart condition.

Light beamed through the door, almost blinding me as it silhouetted a unicorn figure. “Shhhh…” The silhouette leaned towards me, lighting angling to a unicorn stallion’s face. He shushed me, his eyes wide and bloodshot. I dumbly nodded out of pure terror, my mouth hanging slightly. I did not want to get on his bad side when I was tied up like this. Or at least when I didn’t have access to my magic. Or at all for that matter.

He nodded back with a small, crooked smile and closed the door. I let out the breathe I kinda figured I was holding--luckily I was and I was glad I betted for cliche. I scooched backwards, wiggling around and inchworming back towards where I was. After I got back there, I huffed, rolling onto my back and biting at whatever it was tying my hooves together.

I retched, gag reflex forcing my mouth away from whatever in Tartarus it was. I coughed quietly, looking around blindly in the pitch black room before biting the bullet and forcing my teeth back into the binding.

«♦»

After some time of biting the rancid fabric, I gave up, feeling only slightly more nauseous. I sighed, relaxing against the cool ground a bit. I closed my eyes imagining the feeling of my magic pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration. My magic, if only I had a little of that, I could get out of… A little. I only need a tiny amount.

I furrowed my brow, my eyes travelling absently up to where I think my horn was. Everypony, whether they’re stallions and mares, Earth Pony, Pegasi or Unicorn, even fillies and colts, had at least a little magic in them. Which, while not necessarily accessible to them under normal circumstances, this wasn’t a normal circumstance.

I was an alicorn, the literal manifestation of a goddess in mortal form! Like something as feeble as mother nature and safety features of a fillies body were going to stop me. I mean, statistically, on average a princess breaks the law of biology more often than an average pony, so this should work.

I shifted around, trying to get comfortable before I tried to tell anatomy to take a metaphorical hike. I pulled a deep breath, and let it out as I focused. The words, mnemonics to help remember the steps of the spells, the numbers, calculating the physics. Then, after the steps, the figurative fuel: magic. I tried to pull from where it should be, but, as expected, it wasn’t there. I had to look elsewhere, somewhere… Somewhere I wouldn’t normally have access to as a unicorn filly.

Wings. Pegasus wings aren’t capable of flight on normal occasions, with the rare exception of Princesses Celestia, Luna and Cadance. But even most foals can fly, meaning that they have access to that reservoir far sooner than unicorn foals. So with a little tinkering and prodding…

I pulled at the pegasus magic, holding it in my heart. While I doubted that I could transmorph the magic to work with my horn, perhaps I could warp it into something I could use. With a couple changes to my formulas, maybe… My focus, and the magic I’d pulled from the reservior, were disrupted and lost respectively as the door at the top of the stairs slammed open.

I glanced to the light, wincing as it burned my eyes. I saw the shush-y stallion from earlier, staring with the same wide eyes and nightmare-inducing smile. He nodded to me again, his horn lighting in a strange yellow and my binds doing the same. I tried to siphon magic from his, but winced as a headache throbbed below my horn, as though saying that I had done something incredibly stupid.

The clothes, or whatever it was, tying my hooves together fell to the floor softly, and I stood up, stretching lightly. “Thank you, you wouldn’t believe how uncomfortab-”

“Shhhh.” I stared at him as he shushed me again and gestured I follow. I sighed, following him into the light.

«♦»

“Life throws challenges and every challenge comes with rainbows and lights to conquer it.”
—Amit Ray

Author's Note

Okay. I'm sorry this chapter took so long and I'm sorry it sucks. I have no excuse but the fact that I suck and you should hate me. :twilightsheepish:

Gray

I sighed, sitting in the infirmary with Doctor Cornflakes, my head held between my hooves. "What... Made her like that?"

"We don't know. We found her like that. She just... Showed up one day, screaming and crying. Every word she muttered was completely incoherent, we had no idea if we would ever make any progress on her." He sighed while tending his eye—thankfully it still worked okay; just hurt. "It's been everypony in the home giving their all to even get her to this point over the last year. Even other children here try to help her sometimes, but..." He gestured to his eye.

"Sometimes something just sets her off?" Poor filly... I really wish I could help.

"Exactly" He sighed, "We'll help her; of that I am sure. But how long will that take? She might not ever have the chance of a even a partially normal life." He sighed. "It's like her mind is shattered."

I creased my brow in thought, an idea coming to mind. "Wait, I think I have an idea."

«♦»

"No!" I flinched as she continued to kick and pull from my magic. "I hate you! Stop it!"

"Please, Lily. Just let me try to help you!" I pleaded. I hadn't expected this must resistance, though given her previous reaction, this wasn't turning out to be my greatest idea. As an after thought: watching the books and knick knacks tumble off the shield around me, however, that was a pretty good idea. I frowned as I pushed the extra strain of a phase shift. Sweat beaded down my head as I focused. I had to keep her molecules in the right location.

"My hoof!" She yelped as her defended forelegs shifted to a sort of gaseous form, flowing around the various railings and defenses she had placed. "What did you do to my hooves?!"

"Gimme a moment!" I pulled her down to me and reassembled her forelegs. I gave them a once over before releasing the spell. "There." I sighed in relief as she continued using them to escape. That meant they worked at least. "Lily, look at me." She just kept clawing at the floor, so I picked her up. "Lily, I'm not trying to hurt you!"

"Lies!" She tried to kick me, but luckily I was just a tad out of her reach. "You'll kill me, I know it! You already tried to!"

"No I didn't, it was a sugar cube!" I shook my head in frustration. "Sugar! I didn't know you hated sugar, I'm sorry!"

She suddenly stilled. "Oh!" What. I blinked repeatedly as I sat her back on the ground. "Sugar! That's what it tasted like." She brought her hoof to her chin. "Sugar. I don't trust sugar though. But you're forgiven!" Her tone turned back to the angry hiss from earlier like the clop of a hoof. "This once." Her emotional flip flopping continued as she almost skipped around the room, collecting miscellaneous objects from the ground.

I cleared my throat, trying to get her attention. "Lily, I'm going to try something." It failed. "Lily?"

"Hmm?" She hummed happily, adjusting her hat and various scarves. Part of me wondered where she got them or what she thought they did. But I chose to ignore that part of me, instead focusing on more important things. Like...

"I want to try something, so we can understand each other better." I explained, stepping towards her.

"What do you mean?" She turned back, the distrust quite obvious on her face.

"Well a lot of the time, I really don't know what you're talking about at all." I said. "I don't know why names need to be kept secret or who is stalking you. But I'd like to understand that." She stared at me, inching back towards her loft ladder. Uh oh. "We're friends, right?" Oh Celestia this feels wrong. "I mean, friends trust friends! You trust me, right?"

She blinked. "Friends..." She echoed slowly. "Trust friends."

I felt awkwardness seeping into my bones as I grinned at her. "Yes. Friends trust friends. And we're friends, so you should trust me. Please?" There's something about what I'm doing that feels completely wrong, I just can't place my hoof on it.

Her brow furrowed, her eyes twitching between my right and left. "What do you want to do exactly?" I think I'm getting through to her a little.

I tipped my head, pointing at my horn. "I want to try just a simple spell. That's all. It would just make it easier for us to get along, you know?" I could practically see the gears whirring in her head; the hamster wheel or whatever. I know what I mean. "Five or ten minutes of your time is all I ask."

She inched toward me, flicking her eyes to every possible escape route. "Friends trust friends." She said again, now in front of me.

I smiled a little. "Thank you, Lily." It still felt wrong manipulating her like this, but it's the only way I can get her to cooperate. "Please just hold still." I said, leaning my head down. I felt her tense as my horn touched her forehead, but she luckily didn't try to strangle me or anything. "Count backwards from five."

"Five." She said, my magic extending. "Four." I assigned my magic the correct properties. "Three." I felt the barriers guarding her mind deteriorate; much faster than I expected. "T-Two..." She was likely feeling extremely lethargic.

One.

My vision snapped, colors flashing in pattern across my gaze. Yellow, blue and white, then pink, black and purple. Before fading to a dull gray.

_"Lily?"_

_..._

I focused a tad harder, trying to strengthen our link. But if I wasn't careful, I might damage the bonds she has to what few ideas of sense she has left, leaving her even worse off.

_"Princess Twilight?"_ The dull gray lightened, revealing a vast network of flashing lines and nodes.

Link established and seemingly stable. Time to begin the experiment.

«♦»

"Peace comes when our hearts are
open like the sky;
vast as the ocean.”
― Jack Kornfield

Author's Note

The full quote is:

“If you put a spoonful of salt
in a cup of water
it tastes very salty.
If you put a spoonful of salt
in a lake of fresh water
the taste is still pure and clear.

Peace comes when our hearts are
open like the sky;
vast as the ocean.”
― Jack Kornfield

I try not to use long quotes, but this one fit best in my opinion.

Also! I'm sorry that the chapters seem to be getting shorter! :raritydespair: It's just that felt like the best place to end the chapter to me, and if I added any more, it would've felt kinda filler-y. Which, I know filler. It's frustrating.