The life and times of Lafayette Ryder

Warning: strong violence, gore and murder.
Written for Cortex repository- Sixteen, the binary scourge. I read your comment at four thirty in the morning and realized "I need to write this!" So this is for you Sixteen, and for everyone who reads and enjoys this.

I scream.

I open my mouth and let all my fury, lust, hate, fear, and passion out in one long outburst.

I feel heat wash over me and see my flesh glow green and then brown, every one of my scars opens up again and the light shines out. I smile and laugh at the pain as the light burns my body. I can feel it, the magic. Thank you Celly, you’ve given me quite the present!

I look down at my left arm; my hand is translucent and glowing again. I think of my M16 and it appears, I think of some body armor and Jeff, they appear on the ground beneath me along with my rifle.

I smile, I scream, the pain, the pleasure, I’m going home, I’m going to war, back to the mare I’ve come to love, back to fight the one that would kill me.

‘What do you say we do first Jeff; find Twilight or skullfuck Celly up the ass until she bleeds to death?’ I still can’t hear my words but I know he can.

‘…’

‘Really? Oh well, you know best, let’s get going, I’m sure Twilight won’t mind if we keep her waiting just a bit longer.’

I clench my fist and stagger slightly as the magic I’ve leached from Tia flows through my veins, I’m sure that if I slit my wrists at the moment rainbows, not blood, would gush out.

I think of Canterlot castle and another wave of pain crashes down onto me, I grimace and my eyes roll back into my head. A void surrounds me and I feel suction from every direction, it’s like I’m a bust bunny in a vacuum, just about to be torn apart, and then it stops just as suddenly as if someone flicked a switch. I look up and see the front gates of the castle, I see the startled guards man their stations and call for backup, I see the alabaster outline of her fat royal ass in the garden.

I scream once more.

With my left hand held to my throat I amplify my voice and modify my lung capacity to the max. I let loose a shriek to shame a banshee, with volume enough to shatter glass, bust eardrums, and drown out any rock band. The guards drop their spears and cower while holding hooves over their ears, the gates rattle, the stained glass window (Replaced since my departure) shake and threaten to break again. But none of these things matter, all that matters is that she hears me, that she heeds my call and confronts me.

She does.

The white, winged bitch of the sun flies from her spot in the garden near Discord and drops to the ground in front of me.

I scream.

Immortal and godlike she may be but she does have faults, her sensitive hearing proves to be among the list, a very long list I’m sure.

I read her lips as she orders and then begs me to stop.

I scream louder.

Her horn glows as she prepares a spell to force my shouting to cease. My hand and body glow as she casts the spell. Nothing happens. I lessen my yelling and begin to laugh, I begin to cry,

“Thank you Celestia! You tried to kill me, you took me from the ones I love, and you sent me to the MOTHER FUCKING MOON! But you also gave me the power to return, and the power to KILL YOU!”

“What?!? This can’t be!” Celestia stutters as I walk towards her.

“You better bet it can be, because it is.” I smile and force my mind into hers. There’s some resistance at first, more than I had anticipated but nothing I couldn’t swat away like a fly, I push past her mental barriers and scream directly into her mind, she shutters and nearly falls. I split my own mind into two and used one half to snoop around her mind while the other half kept on screaming. Her conscious is still there but isn’t fighting me now; no it’s just huddled in a dark corner of her mind trying to hide…

“Celly, Celly, Celly. For shame, Celly, a princess should not harbor such sick fantasies as you, and about your own student, your own sister, your own half brother! My, oh my, whatever shall we do with you…?”

Celestia’s right eye twitches wildly and I laugh again from my physical body while half of my mind raises its pitch to earsplitting levels within a particularly twisted mind, a mind almost as fucked up as my own.

Almost.

“Hmm, Trollestia, Tyrant Celestia, Molestia, Soulless Sun, hell you could get in the carpool lane with all these personalities. But I think I can help you out a bit.”

I smile, Celestia screams.

Within her mind I tear down the boundaries that held back all of her lees pleasant selves, I rearrange her thoughts and toy with her emotions, I essentially rape her mind.

Heh, I didn’t even bother using lube.

I walk over to her, she trembles and moves only her eyes to watch me, I shove her hard, she falls to the ground with a solid thump from her large frame and a nasty crack from her outstretched wing colliding with the cobblestone path and snapping.

“Fell better? I know I do.”

I nudge her in the ribs with my foot, she doesn’t move. I kick her and she still doesn’t even acknowledge my existence.

“This,” I say along with another kick to the ribs. “Is for trying to kill me!”

I spit on the ground near her face and kick again.

“This is for tearing off my goddamn hand!”

I kick her chest. “For all the cuts,” Her shoulder. “All the bruises,” Her neck. “All the pain,” Her face, blood drips from her muzzle as I kick her a second and then a third time. “This is for taking me from my friends,” I step on her front leg and press down, snapping the bone above her elbow. She screams. Finally, she’s awake again, now I can really start. “This is for sending me to the FUCKING MOON,” I slam my foot down onto her side, cracking several ribs and breaking several more. She gasps and coughs up blood “This is for trying to send me back,” I bring my foot down at the bass of her uninjured wing, tearing it from its socket and eliciting the most blood curdling scream from her yet.

“And this, this is for taking me away from Twilight!” I curb stomp her head. Again and again I smash my boot into her face until all I can see is a blood stained skull.

“Please,” She whispers to me thinking that I might take pity on her now. “Please don’t kill me; I only did what I thought necessary for my little ponies.”

“Yeah, well I’m just doing what’s necessary for them too, if they knew of half the fucked up shit in your head they’d be right beside me bashing your brains in.”

“Lafayette,” She croaks.

“What bitch?”

“I’m sorry, I truly, truly am sorry for what I did.”

“You’re not sorry for what you did to me, you’re sorry I managed to break out and find your ass.”

“Damn, I never was a good liar.”

“No shit.”

I raise my foot and start to deliver the final blow but a voice stops me. An angelic voice that reminds me of wind in a meadow and lavender in the spring. I set my foot down right next to Celestia’s bloodied face and turn to see Twilight.

“Twilight! I’m back!”

I start to run towards her but she puts a magical shield between us.

“What’s wrong, why are you doing this to me Twi?”

“You’re killing Celestia!”

“She deserves it, she tried to kill me, and she sent me to the moon goddammit!”

“That doesn’t make it right for you to kill her, the man I love wouldn’t do that.”

“Well, maybe I’m not that man!”

“Fine! If you’re not the Lafayette that I lost ten months ago then I don’t love you, now step away from Celestia or ill make you!”

Ten months, that can’t be right; I was only gone for a week, two at tops. Wasn’t I?

“Like you could…” A heavy blast of purple magic knocks me off of my feet and onto the ground behind Celestia.

“DUMB BITCH!”

I charge Twilight and shatter her force field with a single punch. I see the look of terror in her eyes as I close on her, I see her tears as I pick her up by the nape of her neck and slam her into the ground, I hear her last words as I choke the life out of her.

“I…I love you baby.”

I cry as Twilight breathes her last.

“YOU!” I drop Twilights body and spin on a heel. “THIS IS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!” I scream at Celestia as she tries to stand. “IF YOU HAD JUST LEFT WELL ENOUGH ALONE I'D BE ALRIGHT, TWILIGHT WOULD BE ALRIGHT, AND YOU…you’d live through the night.

I close the distance between the Princess of the day, the new queen of the changelings, the one person, pony or otherwise, nearly as fucked up in the head as I am, and I kick her squarely in the jaw, snapping her head back and breaking her spine in at least five places.

I look at the two bodies that lie on the ground, I look at the horrified guards, I look at my bloody hands.

I scream.

I collapse to the ground, screaming and crying and wishing I hadn’t done the things I just did. I pull Jeff from my shoulder and look at him.

“Why Jeff, why would you tell me to do that? Why?”

I throw Jeff as hard as I can, I don’t even see where he lands, and I don’t even care.

I drag myself over to Twilight and curl up next to her body.

“I’m sorry Twilight, I’m so sorry. I fucked up! I’m so sorry.”

I hold her limp, lifeless body and alternate between screaming mindlessly and weeping profusely.

Rain begins to fall but I don’t notice, the sun raises shakily, as if it had tourettes and Parkinson’s, Luna must be horribly distraught by what I've done yet she still bothers to finish her sisters work, I don’t even care.

I lay there and sob and scream until finally my eyes cease to see, my ears fail me, and my heart folds in upon itself. I sleep soundly.

I hope I never wake up.

A bright light shines in my face and I slowly look up. I’m not by the gates of Canterlot castle, the bodies of Twilight and Celestia are nowhere near me, and I’m still on the moon.

‘It was all a dream… a terrible, horrible dream.’

I look at my body, I’m decked out in a set of blue and gold armor, Jeff rests heavily on my shoulder.

‘Fuck you Jeff, fuck you.’

I grab his handle and swing wildly for a moment before releasing him and watching him drift lazily to the dark side of the moon.

‘Good riddance to bad rubbage.’

I look at Equestria, at my glowing left hand, I think about the second life bestowed upon me by God, the powers granted to me by a demigoddess, and the love given to me by an angel.

‘I swear I will never waste these gifts, I will never use them for harm, and I will cherish them every day.’ I look at Equestria and smile softly. ‘I’m coming home Twilight, I’m coming home.’

I blink my eyes and find that I am not on the moon, neither am I at the front gates of Canterlot castle, instead I find myself right where I should be.

Home.