Twilight the Rapstar

by DanMcIntosh

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Mayor Mare, Romance, Scootaloo, Adventure
Length: 1193

Another jokefic/trollfic depicting Twilight as a small time rapper aspiring to make it big.

Another fanfic depicting Twilight as a small time rapper aspiring to make it big. Yeah, that's right, its not a clopfic! Who knew, right? Inspired from this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=0iV6rGCFMIA

Published 2011-12-01 04:37:14 UTC
Last updated 2011-12-01 04:37:14 UTC

Chapter 1

Studying some books at her lavish tree-house, a fully-furnished two-story home inside a very big tree that is, a lavender unicorn with purple hair was browsing through her library of books. A section on composition and lyricism caught her eye that day. Levitating them off the shelves with her horn's magic, she neatly organized them into a stack beside her. Flipping through the pages of one particular book, aptly named "How to Rap," the pony found an odd fascination with this style of music. She hadn't even heard more than a few songs or artists of the genre through her sheltered and introverted life as a student of friendship and magic.

Not having a lot of experience with her musical capabilities (the songs in the show don't really count), this genre of music seemed simplistic enough for a novice musician like herself. "Hmm...maybe if I write down some lyrics, then I could speak them out-loud and see if I have...what's the word?" she scanned the book for a particular word "...Flow, that's what it was!" With a purple aura surrounding her horn, she levitated some parchment and a quill into the air, that same purple aura encompassing both objects. The unicorn wrote as followed:

My name is Twilight and I love to read

my mane is purple and I'm built like a steed

I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee

a lyrical pony, I, Twilight Sparkle, be

"That looks good," the mare said out-loud, her draconian companion, Spike, hearing her as he walked by. "What do you mean, Twi?" the small, purple dragon asked. Turning around to see Spike, she showed him the parchment, letting him glance at her prose. With a claw-finger to his chin, he said to Twilight, "Wait, are these like...rap lyrics? They don't sound too bad so far." "Thanks! And yes, I just read a book on that very subject," she replied happily, a grin on her face. "So what, you're gonna be the next lil' Mane?" the purple dragon joked. With a giggle, she replied, "I don't even know who lil' Mane is. I'm sure he's talented and famous enough since you know about him." With a raised eyebrow, the dragon inquired, "You don't know who lil' Mane is, and yet you wanna get into rap? Sheesh, talk about a rough start!"

After a shrug of Twilight's shoulders, there was a familiar voice coming from outside her window. "Oh no...is that...?" Before the mare could finish her sentence, a rainbow-maned pegasus, crying out in panic, crashed through her window. Glass shattered onto the floor as the winged pony hit the hard, wooden floor with an audible thud, then a loud smack as her body hit a wall of books. "Sorry, Twi..." The pegasus groaned out in pain, falling to her back as a couple of books landed on her body. Another voice called from outside: "Rainbow, are you okay?!" Sitting herself up, the rainbow-maned pony rubbed the back of her neck, then let out a chuckle as she spotted another pegasus looking inside the tree-house from the now broken window.

It was a smaller filly pegasus, wearing an orange coat of fur with a magenta mane, known as Scootaloo. Perhaps the rainbow-maned pegasus was showing off some moves to the filly that day, right before crashing through the window that is. Sitting herself up quickly, Rainbow Dash grinned and chuckled to Scootaloo as the smaller pegasus fluttered inside, landing next to the crash site. "Don't worry about it, Scoot," Rainbow assured. "You know I'm indestructible."

"Well, just be more careful next time, alright Dash?" Twilight said to the pegasus, then asked Rainbow "Hey, do you mind reading something I wrote?". "Um...okay?" Rainbow replied, trotting up and reading the piece of parchment with Twilight's prose on it. The rainbow-maned pegasus then tried to hold in her laughter, snickering loudly. "What's so funny?" Twilight asked, slightly nervous at Dash's reaction. Dash caught her breath and explained, "Sorry, its just...well...I can't imagine an egghead like you trying to rap..." Feeling a bit offended by her response, Twi then retorted, "You know, an 'egghead' like me got fifth place at the Running of the Leaves. Might I also remind you that you were tied for last with Applejack?" With a scoff, Rainbow replied with, "This isn't the Running of the Leaves, though. Rap is an actual competition, and takes serious dedication." "What do you mean by 'actual competition'?" Twilight asked.

"Don't you know anything about rap and hip-hop?" Rainbow Dash snickered. "Its not like other music, Twi. Its like the Poetry Slam of music. You gotta be assertive and show-off how good you are at tha' game. Ya' dig?"
"Something tells me you're well versed in the genre..." Twilight chuckled.
"Cloudsdale Junior Speedster Rap-off Champion, Master RD for your information." That gave Spike and Scootaloo a gleam in their eyes, along with some ooh's and ahh's.

"Good to know," The unicorn said with a nod. "You bet! I guess I could coach you in the ways of lyrical awesomeness, though. I mean, a rookie like you would get beaten to a pulp, metaphorically speaking, if you were just going at it by yourself," Rainbow hinted, nudging at the lavender pony with her fore-leg's elbow. "Wait, weren't you gonna show me some more tricks, Rainbow?" Scootaloo inquired. "I can do that later, Scoot. Why don't you go play with your Crusader friends?" The pegasus suggested. With a groan of disappointment, the filly made her way outside.

Once the orange pegasus left the tree-house, Rainbow then wrapped a fore-leg around Twi and said, "So, now that we're focused, let's add to that rhyme you've got going. That and we need to work on a rap name for you. You can't just go around free-stylin' as your normal ol' self, right? You gotta have an alter-ego." With a nod, the lavender pony grabbed the quill with her unicorn magic and continued her prose in progress:

All these ponies 'round here think (that) I can't rap

Well, I think I could out-rap them in a snap

I mean, really, who could think of something so wack

That's like saying you want discord to come back, yo

Yo, like a wonderbolt, I'm totally soarin'

Like a football player I am totally scorin', foo

My rhymes can blow you away like Rainbow Dash

I'll spit and I'll spat 'til you burn and crash!

"Now that's what I call a rap" Rainbow chuckled, nodding in approval."Especially the part about me. Yo, Spike!" She called for the dragon, Spike walking up to the two. Scanning through the added lyrics, he gave an equally approving nod to Twilight. "Thanks, guys...I'll be a number one rapper in no time," The unicorn said joyfully. Suddenly, a flyer flew into the room from the still broken window. Twilight gave it a read: "Ponyville Amateur Rapping Contest, 2NITE at 8pm. Come 2 the Sugarcube Corner for free-styling of epic proportions. Catering by Mr. and Mrs. Cake and co.." "Well, I think we have work to do, MC Twilight," The rainbow-maned pegasus said, winking to the unicorn.

TO BE CONTINUED