The Rainbow Dash Trial

by Nexas

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Trixie, Spike, Comedy, Random
Length: 7053

Spike and RD go to court for RD's ... everything. Hijinxs ensue

Spike goes to court to become the new Rainbow Dash.
...
No, really.

Published 2012-06-12 18:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-04 04:05:29 UTC

A normal day

AUTHOR'S NOTE.

Honestly? I have no idea why I wrote this.

I mean I already have another story going on don't I?

Well the thing is this idea just wouldn't leave!

*leans back in chair*

So enjoy anyway.

*falls off his chair*

***

As every Pony fic begins; it was a bright and sunny day in Ponyville. Twilight was sitting in her library, being the isolationist bookworm that she was, she had decided to spend this bright and sunny day reading some of her books.

"Cabinets and tables by Horizontal surface." Twilight announced to nopony. "The last book in the entire library that I haven't read yet." She looked it over; all in all it looked pretty bland. "And I can see why."

Looking up at the dusty clock on her wall she noticed something peculiar; nothing of particular interest had happened today yet.

That probably doesn't sound very strange but something was always happening in Poniville. Just last week, Twilight and her friends had fought against the immortal and evil Tirek the dark Cantaur and his rainbow of darkness.

It had taken an entire afternoon!

She was happy that nothing was threatening the existence of Equestria today but it still seemed like something should be happening.

Dear Celestia she was bored and wanted something to happen.

Maybe she could go see one of her friends, maybe Applejack was about to lose her farm again in a deal, or Pinkie was causing the destruction of reality again. She shook her head, no offense to her friends but maybe she should try to ask somepony else.

And then it occurred to her, a thought that never would have crossed her mind otherwise.

She will ask Spike what he is doing.

Lightning clashed outside her window, despite it being the middle of the day and with no clouds in the sky. She couldn't believe that the thought had crossed her mind not that she hated the idea, Spike was her trusted assistance and he was like a brother to her, or a son, or a sister if that one spell's side effects turned up again. He had always been with her through all of her adventures. Well, in spirit at least. And he'll be here well after she is gone. So she will ask Spike what he is doing today.

For once.

"Spike!" She called out for her Dragon; she did not know what he did everyday so he could be anywhere. She walked around the library trying to find her assistant but she just could not find him.

He's not here She thought. What if Spike has never been here? What if all this time he was all just a dream?! What if-

*CLANG*

...nevermind.

A pain bucket had fallen from on high and had landed on her head, spreading paint everywhere. Twilight took this in stride and levitated the paint can off of her head.

"Paint?..." She questioned, grabbing a towel to wipe it off, inspecting the paint she made an odd observation; the paint was a cyan color, much like her friend Rainbow Dash.

"Curious-er and curious-er..." She remarked, looking up to where the can had fallen; it had come from upstairs near Spike's room.

"Spike?" Twilight called while climbing the stairs. "Why did a paint can come crashing onto me? Are you planning on painting the library again?" She neared the door to his room. "Because you didn't tell me and I have a few ideas about renovations I think you'd like to hear!" She have a few schematics for an emergency mecha transformation for the library in case of a giant lizard attack like she had read about in Japony, though those might have just been fiction.

"There's this laser defense system I'd like to set up but I would need you to test it!" She was right outside his door at this point, paint still hung in gobs from her mane making Twilight sigh.

It's going to take forever to get this out of my mane.

"Spike?" She shouted, pounding on the door. It wasn't like Spike to ignore his friend.

"Spike? Are you ignoring me-AAAHHH!" She had opened the door and was greeted with a horrifying sight;

Spike stood in the middle of the room surrounded by paint cans and brushes, his scales painted over with the cyan paint. His spines were each painted in a different color of the rainbow, even his eyes were a different color and around his neck.

All in all he was the spitting image of Rainbow Dash, you know, if she was a Dragon.

He even wore the Element of loyalty around his neck, the necklace that the multicolored mare would wear.

Spike stared at his adoptive mother/sister/brother if that spell came up again, in shock. He clearly didn't expect her to see him like this.

"Spike..." Twilight started, she didn't even know where to begin.

"How did you change your eye color?"

"...Contact lenses." He sheepishly admitted, popping one out for her to see.

"Oh, you know that's pretty cle-Wait a minute! What are you doing?!" Twilight caught herself, knocking away the contact.

"Well remember when Discord was released and threatened us all?"

"Don't remind me." She snarked.

"Well you told me that I was the new Rainbow Dash and I'm not going to fail you!"

Twilight facehoofed. "Spike, I didn't mean for you to take that seriously. It was spur of the moment and besides; we already have a Rainbow Dash; this Rainbow Dash!"

She levitated a picture of the eponymous Pegasus in front of the Dragon trying to be something he's not. But he simply swatted it away.

"Twilight, I never get to do anything with you guys. You always run off to be the hero and you leave me to tend to these dusty books." He pointed to the shelves. "So I'm going to take this seriously and there is nothing you can do to stop me."

"Nothing to stop you huh?" Twilight dryly replied. "Well as long as we have the real Rainbow Dash on the team." She emphasized 'Rainbow Dash' with two pokes to his chest. "You don't have the job."

Spike smiled smugly. "That's why I took the liberty of writing up a resignation form and sent it off to her." He watched the clock. "By now I should be getting a reply."

On cue, a ball of light began to glow in the center of the room, Twilight and Spike backing away so as to not be vaporized by its heat. The ball of light grew and expanded until it could have touched the ceiling and burst with a blinding light. When everypony could see again the two could make out the form of Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria and Twilight's mentor."

"Princess Celestia?" Twilight asked in confusion. The Princess didn't say anything, she simply reached into the saddlebag she was carrying and levitated a scroll to Spike. He took it tentatively and read it aloud.

"For this deed to be done you are to stand trial alongside the Pegasus known as Rainbow Dash for custody of the Element of loyalty and the name Rainbow Dash itself."

"See you in court." The Princess said before disappearing in another flash of light.

Spike stared at the scorched ground where the Princess once stood. "What just happened?"

Twilight poked him in the chest again. "You got served!"

Finally, there was something to do today.

*CLANG-CLANG*

The scene at Canterlot Courthouse was one of uproar; news reporters, photographers and normal Pony folk lined the steps to the double doors. All of them wanting more answers to this insane case.

The Twenty percent Cooler case they called it.

Rainbow Dash, the true Element of loyalty walked up the steps into the courthouse with Twilight.

Well, Dash walked, Twilight staggered behind her.

"Don't worry, old chum." Twilight slurred her words. "With me by your side there's no way we'll lose(hic)."

"Uh, huh." Dash nodded, deterred by her usually calm and focused friend's antics. "Twilight, are you drunk?"

"Who? (hic) Me?" Twilight hiccupped. "I just stayed up all night studying Equestrian law and I was kinda really nervous so I maybe (hic) had a glass or (hic) five."

"Oh, no." Dash facehoofed."

"STOP YELLING AT ME!" Twilight wobbled off, suddenly in tears for no reason.

"No, wait! Twilight!"

Twilight did not get far as she slumped over onto the ground asleep.

Dash facehoofed again.

***

"OBJECTION!" Luna, co-ruler of Equestria and Princess of the night yelled, slamming her hooves on the table and pointing at the judges seat.

Which at the moment was empty.

"Oh right, we have not started yet why don't you tell me these things?" She sat down in her seat, Spike, now with removed paint, sat beside her. He was not happy that they had to go to trial but he did have Princess Luna by his side so maybe he could still win.

" 'Ello, Luna." Twilight slurred, being pushed to her seat by an impatient Rainbow Dash.

Luna gasped, covering her head. "No! Not her!"

"What?" Spike jumped up, surprised that the Princess of the night was cowering because of a drunken Twilight Sparkle.

"We have to go against Sisters student!" Luna squeaked, pointing at the other table where Dash and Twilight sat.

"Look at her; sitting there without a care in the world, that cheeky grin on her face." Luna muttered. "I bet she's planning her well thought out plan right now!"

***

"Are you putting whisky in your tea?" Rainbow Dash asked her new lawyer who was levitating a flask over her tea cup.

"No darling it's rum." She slurred.

***

"Oh me! My first loss and it will be to her!" She despaired.

"What loss?!" Spike grabbed her mane and shook her. "You can't lose!"

"Twilight always wins!"

Eventually the court was called to order; everypony had quieted down and was awaiting the judge.

It's okay Spike, calm down. The anxious Dragon told himself. It's not that bad, it's not like it could get any worse, can it?

The bailiff; a brownish earth Pony wearing a police uniform with an hourglass cutiemark stepped forward.

"This is brilliant." He grinned cheekily to himself. "I'm in the trial for the Element of loyalty! I've always wanted to see an Equestrian court; it's an awful lot like Gallifreyan court..."

"Ahem" A voice called out from behind him.

"Oh, yes! Right!" He cleared his throat. "All rise for your judge, the honorable tri-"

"AHEM." The voice called out again a little louder this time.

"Oh! Sorry, sorry. Uh Blah, blah, blah, rise for your judge, The Great and Powerful and hornorable Trixie!"

With a flourish of lights and smoke, the judge appeared in her seat, it was Trixie; she wore a black variant of her cape with the stars still on and she still wore her blue magicians hat nut over a curly judges wig.

She smiled. "Hey losers."

"TRIXIE?!" Everypony shouted in disbelief.

"Hey girl!" Trixie waved to Twilight.

"Hey baby!" Twilight hiccupped waving back.

"OBJECTION!" Luna shot up.

"*Beep*" Spike said.

***

AUTHORS NOTE

The END!

OF PART 1!

Witness 1

AUTHOR'S NOTE

If any of you are treating this seriously I have one thing to say to that.

Don't.

Seriously, don't. You will not have any sanity by the end of it.

Just repeat to yourself; it's just a fic, I should really just relax.

***

"OVERRULED!" The Great and Powerful Trixie shouted at Luna. "Did I say you could talk?"

"Uh, no your honor." Luna stuttered.

"Now go sit down!"

"Yes, your honor."

Luna slumped in her chair. Not even the power of the moon could stand against the judicial system.

"Now," Trixie began.

"Wait!" Dash interrupted, raising a hoof in the air like a student in class. "Why are you even here?!"

Trixie stared at her for a moment and nodded.

"After the incident in Poniville, The Great and Powerful Trixie moved to Canterlot to become a judge." She materialized a mirror with her magic and fiddled with her wig. "They're basically the same thing."

Everypony stared at the magician/judge in shock; she really thought that she qualified to be a keeper of justice. The whole notion of it was insane.

Of course, remembering the reason they were on trial in the first place they decided to let it slide.

"Alrighty then," Trixie levitated a gavel and banged it three times. "Let's get down to business. Which is what exactly?"

"That Pegasus will not relinquish the title of Element of loyalty to Spike, who was clearly given the title by Twilight Sparkle!" Luna shot up again, pointing at Rainbow Dash and Spike.

"Oh my goodness!" Trixie gasped in horror though she could care less. "Is this true Twiley?"

"Unfortunately, yes." Twilight hiccupped and pointed in Luna's general direction. "But they can call in as many witnesses as they want and it will all be a big (hic) misunderstanding. Surely somepony as beautiful and smart as you can see that."

"Yeah, Trixie is beautiful and smart." Judge Trixie admitted. "Good call, alright old mare call your first witness."

Somewhere in the back of Luna's temporarily frozen brain, she could have sworn that the judge had called her an old mare.

Alright, no problem, just have to show them that Spike is more loyal than Rainbow Dash.

"I call my first witness, Angel bunny to the stand!"

Everypony else watched in confusion as Fluttershy floated into the court room dragging an animal container. Inside the container was the eponymous rabbit, not looking happy at all that he was inside it. The yellow Pegasus set the container on the witness seat and flew to one of the benches in the back all the while muttering 'excuse me' and 'pardon me' as she went.

"It's too simple." Luna whispered to her client. "We shall call witnesses who have experienced your loyalty and the judge will see that you are the more likely candidate for the title." She grinned. "It's genius!"

"Genius?!" Spike grabbed her by the royal collar and shook her. "That rabbit tried to kill me!"

"Oh, really?"

"There were carrots everywhere..." Spike shuddered.

The Doctor- I mean bailiff, walked up to the cage and inspected it, Angel growled and shook the container in response.

"I say, what a wonderful rabbit; he's so violent!" He exclaimed with a grin, taking a few steps away.

"Angel?" Luna talked to the rabbit slowly and haltingly. "I'm going to use a spell so I can talk to you. Do. You. Understand?"

The rabbit gave her a look of nonbelief that was mirrored by the other Ponies in the room.

"I'll take that look of nonbelief as a 'yes'."

Luna's horn began to glow softly; emitting a pale blue glow she stepped in front of the rabbit and touched her horn to his forehead. Nopony said anything for a couple minutes, they just watched in confused silence. Suddenly, Luna gasped and glared at the bunny.

"You dare to say that to me?!" She roared at the rabbit. "I have never heard something that disrespectful!"

The rabbit did not say anything, at least from what everypony else could hear but Luna gasped again.

"Don't you dare bring my mother in to this!"

Rainbow Dash and Twilight watched the scene unfold.

"This can't be happening." Dash sighed.

"Don't worry Dashie." Twilight patted Dash on the back. "Your friend Twilight will help you, or not."

She stared at Twilight. "You are completely drunk aren't you?"

"(hic) what makes you say that?"

"THIS RABBIT IS UNSTABLE!"

Everypony turned to see Angel had somehow gotten out of his container and was beating Luna over the head with it.

"Bailiff!" Trixie called. "Remove the animal from the premises!"

After a moment of struggling, they quickly realized the bunny would not go back in the container and was simply escorted out by the Bailiff who was quickly followed by an apologizing Fluttershy.

Luna dazedly stumbled back to her table while Trixie sat back in her chair, rubbing her temples.

"Alright, Lawyer Luna, enlighten Trixie. Who is the next witness?"

Witness 2

"For my next witness, I call Rarity to the stand." Luna said.

"That's good." Spike gave her thumbs up. "Rarity will vouch for me."

Rarity the unicorn entered the courtroom wearing an absolutely massive hat; it must have been as tall as her.

As she walked down the aisle, she started too wobbled under the weight of her giant hat but with the soft white glow of her magic she was able to stay upright.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" The bailiff chuckled. "I have always wanted to say that.

"Yes." Rarity politely answered. "Um, this is sort of out of context but; do you like my hat?"

The Doctor-I mean Bailiff nodded his head vigorously. "Oh yes, I know I'd certainly like a hat that cool. Like a Stetson or a fez..."

He continued mumbling about possible hats while Rarity sat down.

"Hello, Trixie." Rarity growled, glaring at the unicorn that turned her hair green.

"Hello, Twilight's friend." Trixie didn't even remember who she was.

"I see you're still wearing that dusty old rag you call a hat." Rarity insulted the judge/magician.

"So I am." She admitted. "But at least I'm not compensating for something."

"OOOOOOOOhhh!" Twilight drunkenly called. "Hey Rarity! Do you want some Aloe Vera?" She asked. "Because you (hic) just got burned!"

Rarity sank in her seat, the heat from her face was about to set her massive hat on fire. Luna got up and approached the stand.

"So Rarity, is it true that Spike is the most loyal creature you know?" Luna asked.

"Well I would have to say yes, he always helps me weather I need help or not. My little Spikey wikey is always there."

As she talked she nodded her head up and down, slamming her hat on Luna repeatedly. Every time it hit Luna, her head made a squeaking noise.

Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Trixie and Luna snickered. "Spikey wikey?"

Luna cleared her throat, trotting back to her seat triumphantly. "No further questions your honor."

"Cross examine?" Twilight slightly raised a hoof.

"Go ahead." Trixie acknowledged.

Twilight drunkenly shoved herself out of her chair and staggered over to Rarity.

"Hey Rarity." She slurred. "I like your new hat, what is it? Your old couch?"

Rarity was about to answer when she realized what she had said.

"Twilight? Are you...drunk" Rarity asked hesitantly.

"No. (hic) why?"

The two share a long moment of silence staring at each other.

"What was I doing again?" She slurred, "Oh yeah, cross examine. Rarity do you know (hic) what this case is about?"

Rarity blinked. "Isn't it about a crime Spike didn't commit?"

The two unicorns started whispering while Luna and Spike tried to listen in.

"What did you tell her?" He hesitantly asked his lawyer.

Luna adopted the biggest grin she could. "Not something completely different from what is really happening is that's what you're asking."

"HE'S DOING WHAT?!"

Spike facepalmed and was tackled by Rarity.

"Spikey!" Rarity whined, her voice like a kitten sliding down a chalkboard. "You don't want to be an Element! It's too dangerous!"

Spike couldn't reply, he was being choked by her squeezing hug.

"Excuse me?" Trixie spoke up. "Can you stop strangling the case subject?"

"You!" Rarity growled. "You're trying to get Spike killed! And give him Dash's horrible color scheme!"

"Hey!" Dash yelled indignantly.

Before Trixie could say 'what' Rarity pounced at her.

***

"Ow...ow..."

Trixie eased slowly back into her chair. It had taken a while but they had finally gotten Rarity to leave. Not before Rarity had given The Great and Powerful Trixie injuries.

Her cape had a few holes in it, her hat had more than a few tears that would have to be mended even her curly judges wig had a chunk bit off.

"Trixie thought that you were a doctor!" She shouted at the bailiff.

"I am!" He said indifferently. "Just not that kind of a doctor."

She sighed, looking over to the case subjects.

Rainbow Dash sat quietly in her chair, still thinking that this is insane. Twilight sat next to her chattering noscensically about the history of beer. Luna sat sullenly in her seat with her head on the table, she was despairing about her almost certain loss.

Spike was slamming his face into the table.

Repeatedly.

"Okay moon Princess." Trixie sighed. "I hope you can top that witness."

Witness 3

If Luna had boots than she would have been shaking in them.

"I...I do your honor." She stammered. "I still have my star witness: Pinkie Pie."

Trixie facehoofed. "Oh my, this should be good."

The group waited for the witness to walk in when suddenly the doors to the court burst open, sending the doors flying off their hinges and a pink earth Pony walked in. Her pink mane highlighting her blue eyes.

"The star of the show has arrived!" She loudly declared landing in the aisle and striking a pose. She stopped and looked back at the door she had broken. "Somepony might want to fix that."

Spike stared at Luna in deep confusion. "Why would you call her in? She has nothing to do with me."

Luna looked like she was about to answer but scrunched her face in confusion. "I... have no idea."

"Doctor!" The pink mare cried, jumping through the air and embracing the bailiff. "I haven't seen you since that time you took me to the planet Varos!" Her smile drooped. "What happened to your colorful outfit?"

"A proper sense of fashion happened, Pinkie." He remarked looking down at the police uniform that he had swiped for the occasion and shuddered at the thought of that rainbow coat. "Never again..." He muttered.

Pinkie took the vow and sat in the witness chair.

"Hello Twilight's friend." The great and honorable Trixie said to the pink mare.

"Hello, 'pony I've never seen before'." Pinkie responded, happily smiling at the unicorn.

Trixie was aghast. "You do not know who I am?!"

Pinkie shook her head honestly. "Nope, I wasn't in that episode."

Trixie opened her mouth to retort but couldn't think of anything to say so she just sat down.

The Doctor chuckled. "Pinkie Pie, always with the fourth wall breaking."

Luna stepped out of her chair and went over to Pinkie.

"Hi miss Princess of the night!" Pinkie waved to Luna.

"Hello Miss Pie." Luna tried to think of something more to say but was at a loss. "Do...do you know why you're here Miss Pie?"

"Yuppers! I'm here because some guy likes a children's cartoon show and decided to write a funny story about it!"

Pinkie just smiled at the lunar Princess who was at a loss for words. She looked up at the judge who was equally confused.

"What is she talking about?" Luna asked nearly in hysterics.

Trixie simply shrugged. "How should Trixie know?"

Luna sighed and turned her attention back to Pinkie.

"Miss Pie, what do you think of Spike?"

"The dragon? I think he's nice but I don't usually see him during these stories."

She tried to ignore Pinkie's randomness. "Well he has been promised Rainbow Dash's position on your team."

"You mean like a Pinkie promise?" She inquired.

"Um, yes, whatever that is."

"Well Spike can't be the Element of Loyalty." She explained. "He's Twilight's plucky young assistant."

Luna massaged her temple with a hoof; this was getting difficult to stand. "Miss Pie, please just answer the question."

Pinkie didn't stop. "Plus Spike is a comic relief character and Dashie is all 'I'm twenty percent cooler' and stuff like that."

She peered over Luna's shoulder and waved at her friend. "Isn't that right, Rainbow Dash?"

"Hello Pinkie." Dash barely responded not taking her eyes off of her video game.

"Hi (hic) Pinkie!" Twilight waved frantically.

"Hi drunken!Twilight!" Pinkie waved back.

"Enough of this!" Luna reached up and pulled Pinkie back into her seat. "I will have no more of this nonsense!"

Pinkie seemed a little hurt at this outburst. "What's wrong with nonsense?"

"This is a courtroom!" Luna insisted. "This is no place for nonsense!"

Trixie cleared her throat. "Do you remember why we are here, Miss Princess-of-the-night?"

Luna considered what Trixie had said but waved it off. "It doesn't matter. She is trying my patience!"

Pinkie was a little indigent about Luna's words. "I just don't think that the canon of the show should be messed with is all."

"Stop saying things like that!" Luna bellowed. "Stop being so weird!"

Pinkie froze; her eyes wide in shock. "...Weird?"

"Now you've done it." Luna could hear Spike saying.

Luna quickly realized what she had done. "No, wait I didn't-"

"You think I'm weird!" Pinkie's eyes had started to fill up with tears at this point and to Luna's surprise her mane seemed to have deflated.

"No! Pinkie!" Luna tried to reason with her. "I didn't mean it!"

But it was too late. Pinkie had already started crying.

***

Trixie sat back in her chair, adjusting her magician's hat as well as the two-thirds of what was left of her wig.

"So, to recap." She began. "Your first witness tried to kill you, your second witness turned against you and your third witness just ran out of the room crying and calling you a 'meanie face'."

She slowly nodded to herself and stood up. "Wow! Approach the bench, the both of you!"

Spike and Luna tentatively got up from their chairs and walked to the front of the judge's seat. Trixie peered down at both of them.

"YOU'RE BOTH IDIOTS!" She screamed at them but regained her composure. "Now go away."

The two went back to their seats, Luna slumping over in hers.

"Oi! Luna!" Twilight slurred, levitating her seat to poke Luna with. "You fail! Fail!"

Trixie adjusted her cape and hat once more. "Okay, Twiley? Is their somepony you would like to question?"

Rainbow Dash shook her head. "No your honor, we just want this case to be over wi-"

Twilight jumped onto the table in a sudden burst of coordination.

"I CALL MY CLIENT, RAINBOW DASH, TO THE STAND!" She pointed at her client drunkenly.

"How much 'tea' did you have?!" Dash stared at her exasperatedly.

Witness 4

"I can't believe that this is happening." Rainbow Dash stepped forward to give the vow.

"I still can't believe that there are magical Ponies that can talk." The bailiff responded in his normal cheery way.

"You're weird." Was all that Dash could think of saying.

Dash took the vow and sat down in the witness seat.

He lawyer-for-hire swaggered over to her and leaned on the stand.

Dash briefly wondered if she could trade Twilight for Luna.

"So Dashie." Twilight slurred. "You're in court for possession of your title of Element of Loyalty."

"Uh, yeah." Dash answered, still confused about why her lawyer had called her to the stand.

"And you think it's all just ridiculous, don't you?"

"Uh, duh?" Dash responded confusedly. "You said it yourself; it's all a big misunderstanding."

"A big misunderstanding' she says." Twilight smiled drunkenly, turning away from RD.

Dash repeated. "Yeah, a big misunderstan-"

Twilight suddenly turned back around, her face filled with rage.

"WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT OF THE 15th?!" She screamed at her client.

"Wh-what?!" Rainbow stammered, shocked by the sudden outburst from her lawyer.

"ANSWER THE QUESTION!" She continued screaming at her client before turning towards Trixie. "Your honor?"

Trixie looked back and forth at the drunken, angry unicorn and her scared client. Trixie leaned down towards Dash.

"Answer her." She whispered. "Before she kills us all."

"But it's the fourteenth." Dash whispered back.

Twilight wasn't even listening to them anymore and was dreamily shifting on her hooves. She had forgotten her previous outburst.

"OBJECTION!" She screamed, pointing at Rainbow Dash.

"You're objecting yourself." Trixie said matter-of-factly. "You should sit down, Twilight."

Twilight leaned in close to Rainbow Dash, their faces almost touching. "No further questions your honor."

With that, she turned around and marched back to her seat, passing Luna and Spike.

"You're up." She said nonchalantly on the way back to her seat.

"Darn she's good." Luna muttered, watching Twilight sit back down.

"Good?!" Spike jumped on his chair. "She's drunk!"

"I wish I was drunk."

She walked over to the stand anyways; a look of determination new on her face.

"Okay, you can do this." She told herself as she approached the Pegasus.

"A misunderstanding? Well explain these!" She dramatically slammed a stack of pictures down onto the table.

Dash inspected them as Luna looked on. "As you can see, all of the evidence I need is on these pictures."

"These are nice." Dash admitted. "But what do pictures of Spike dressing up like me have to do with me?"

"..."

Luna stared down in despair at the pictures she slammed onto the desk; they were the pictures of Spike that had been taken for the case.

She facehoofed.

"Hey Spike!" Dash called. "How did you change your eye color?"

"Contacts." He called back.

"By the way Luna..." Dash reached into her mane and pulled out another stack of pictures that she slammed onto the desk dramatically.

Luna inspected the photos; they were simple pictures of Rainbow Dash performing actions.

"I don't understand, what are these?"

She smiled. "These are pictures of me showcasing my Element of Loyalty and being a general hero."

The Princesses jaw dropped. "How did you get these photos?"

"I took them from Twilight. I knew that she would be too drunk to use it."

Twilight drunkenly cheered from her seat. "That's showing her Applejack!"

Dash rolled her eyes. "It's Rainbow Dash!"

Twilight stared at Dash from across the room, trying to think through her clouded mind.

"Where's my drink?" She asked, searching around the table having completely forgotten what she had said.

Rainbow Dash crossed her arms and smirked. "I'm sure your honor will see that I am more loyal."

Trixie levitated the collection of pictures up to her and inspected them one by one, each picture she looked at lowered her jaw more and more.

"I-Trixie could do any of these things." She stammered. "In fact; Trixie can do all of them, at once."

Luna facehoofed. "No more questions please." She groaned.

Luna went back to her seat once again and Dash was allowed to sit down as well.

"Okay." Trixie sat tall in her chair, overlooking all of the other Ponies. "Are there any more questions before I announce who will earn the title?"

"Yes!" Spike shouted, jumping onto the table. "Yes, I have a question!"

He pointed a claw at the judge. "How come I was never given a chance to speak?!"

"Oh no." Luna, having realised her mistake, facehoofed again.

"That is a good question." Trixie admitted. She pointed at the bailiff. "You there, Doctor Bailiff, fetch me my doink-doink!"

He did as he was told and got her gavel for her.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it and it's just the Doctor, okay?"

"Whatever." She shrugged and turned back to Spike. "You see dragon, apparantly the thing is..."

With the force of her magic, Trixie launched her gavel across the room and hit Spike clean in the head, knocking him off the table.

"Nopony gives a flying feather what you think!"

"Pwned." Luna chuckled under her breath, not escaping the ears of Spike who glared at his lawyer. "Sorry."

"Okay, with no other interruptions. The holder of the Element of Loyalty will be..."

Conclusions

Ponyville was enjoying a beautiful day; the weather was perfect and there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

Rainbow Dash's cloud home floated lazily near the town, its pools of colors occasionally overflowing off of the clouds and creating a rainbow waterfall.

Rainbow Dash herself was inside the home still in bed. She was currently celebrating her new vacation of sorts relaxing and reading up on her favorite fictional heroine.

She set aside the Daring Do book she had just finished and turned to the small stack next to her. Earlier she had asked Twilight if she could borrow the complete set; Twilight would have let her take only a few but she was in too much pain to argue.

Dash was about to read the next adventure in the series when a weak knock came from the front door. She briefly considered not answering the door but the knocking persisted.

Relenting, she lazily rose to her hooves and approached the door.

Opening it slightly she peered outside. The first thing she saw was Twilight Sparkle's balloon resting softly on the clouds surrounding the house. The second thing she saw was the smoking, ash covered Dragon lying at her hooves.

"Sup' Spike?" She asked nonchalantly, looking down at the burned assistant.

"Nothing much." He answered equally nonchalantly. "Can I have a glass of water or something?"

"Sure."

She reached over to one of the walls of her house and ripped out a chunk of cloud. Bringing it over the Dragon, she squeezed it, showering him in fresh rainwater and washing away the dirt and ash.

"Thanks."

"Anytime." She set the chunk back into her wall before turning her attention back. "Who did you lose a fight too?"

He still couldn't stand up and instead opted for lying on his back looking up at the Pegasus. "Another Dragon, adult, very grumpy."

"A relocation mission." Dash grinned. "Were you all there?"

He nodded back. "It really wasn't in the mood to listen to Fluttershy and we had to use some force."

Rainbow Dash couldn't contain the smile on her face. "Did you come all this way to give me my title back?"

"No way! Living the dream!" He attempted to stand up proudly to prove his point but was so weak that it came out as a weak push-up.

"Spike, the title of Element of Loyalty means you have to go on lots of dangerous adventures." Dash explained.

Spike pushed himself up into a sitting position. "Yeah, I guess it's a lot harder than I thought it was going to be."

"Not all fun and games." Dash shook her head.

She leaned down and picked the Dragon up, setting him on his feet.

"Do you want your title back?" He asked tiredly.

She brought a hoof to her chin in thought.

"I'll tell you what; If I get my Element back you can come along on our adventures more."

The two shook hands/hoofs. "Deal but only if we don't have to go to court with that insane judge again."

***

Spike walked back to Twilight's library in a state of joy, He had actually been an Element for at least a few days and now he was going to become a proper teammate instead of the stay-at-home.

He opened the door and walked into the library.

"Twilight!" He shouted. "I'm home!"

A cry of pain replied to him. Twilight came down from upstairs; no more than three ice packs orbiting her head as well as a glass of water.

Spike chuckled silently. After the case had settled Twilight had gone to bed and woken up with the mother of all hangovers. She had been so drunk that he actually had to tell her everything that had happened.

"Please don't shout Spike." She whispered.

"Sorry." He whispered back. "I talked to Dash and we struck a deal so I'm not the Element of Loyalty anymore."

"Well it was nice while it lasted." She shrugged. "Can you close the door? We're not heating the outdoors."

He remembered that he was still holding the door open and closed it rather quickly, slamming it in the process.

Twilight cried out in pain, accidently giving her even more pain.

She groaned sadly. "I am never drinking again."

***

Trixie sat on the edge of the road outside the courthouse her hat beside her and her wig gone. She watched as Ponies walked around her, not paying the magician any mind.

"Judge Trixie?"

Trixie looked up, the bailiff stood before her. He didn't wear that ridiculous police outfit anymore and instead wore just a green tie.

"Why aren't you in the courthouse?"

Trixie sighed, looking down. "It turns out apparently I wasn't really a judge and they evicted me."

The Doctor nodded thoughtfully. "Ah, that's what happened-wait, you just said 'I'!"

Trixie nodded glumly. "I'm not really in the mood for theatrics."

He thought for a moment. A smile slowly grew on his lips.

"Miss Trixie, what are you doing currently?"

"I was going to sit here and mope for a while and go home after that, why?"

He grinned happily. "I've been looking for a new assistant, you see..."

***

Celestia walked through the shining halls of the royal castle with a happy grin on her face. She had finally finished her work for the day and had allowed herself a break.

"I wonder where Luna is." She mumbled to herself. "Haven't seen her since I gave Twilight and her assistant that court sentence."

She barely finished her thought when Luna walked past her.

"Luna?" She turned towards her sister and immediately had something slam into her head, knocking her to the ground.

"Terribly sorry dear sister." She heard her sister apologize through her clouded mind. "Can't stay and talk though, I really need to get to the infirmary."

Celestia quickly shook off the fatigue and looked up at her leaving sister.

Who was wearing a hardwood table on her head.

"Luna?" She called very confused. "Are you aware that-"

"Yes." Luna snapped. "Yes, I'm aware."

The lunar Princess quickly walked away, leaving the sun Princess to wonder just what happened earlier that day.

She quickly shook the thoughts from her head. "It's probably best not to know."

An intermission

"The Pony or Dragon that will be given the title of Element of Loyalty..." Trixie paused for dramatic effect.

Everypony leaned forward in their seats; all of them anxious to see who had been decided as the winner.

"Will be..." She paused again.

"Get on with it!" Luna shouted, on the edge of her seat.

"Yeah, get on with it!" Dash shouted as well, out of boredom.

"Will be revealed after Trixie examine all of the evidence."

A soft silence held the room for a minute.

"What?!" Everypony screamed in union.

Trixie nodded. "Yep, Trixie still need to go over the evidence and then Trixie will choose."

Everypony slumped in their seats, the anticipation wearing off.

"While Trixie is gone, she calls a five minute recess."

With a flash of blue magic and some smoke machines, Trixie was gone.

"First dibs on the monkey bars!" Twilight teleported out of her chair and ran for the doors.

"Come back here!" Luna shouted and ran after her, leaving Rainbow Dash and Spike alone in the room.

"And then there were two." The Dragon muttered, not looking at his opponent.

"Why do you want my Element?" Dash asked honestly.

He sighed. "Twilight promised me the title before when Discord appeared."

"Did she now?" Rainbow Dash asked sarcastically, setting down her game device.

Spike sighed again, running a clawed hand over his spines. "Well she didn't really promise it. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing and it really doesn't mean anything."

Dash drew her full attention to the Dragon at this point, her eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

"Why are you going through with this if you know that it was an empty promise?"

His face adopted a sullen expression. "I'm tired of being left behind while you guys go and save the world and stuff. I want to experience stuff like that."

He stared down at the table and didn't bother to say anymore. Dash looked on at the Dragon that had started this whole commotion simply because he wanted some adventure.

"I wonder..."

The doors to the court room suddenly burst open again and Luna stormed in. She dragged Twilight behind her by her tail.

"You would not believe what your lawyer was doing." She deadpanned as she levitated the inebreiated unicorn back into her seat.

"Oh come on (hic) Princess." Twilight laughed. "They probably won't trace it back to you."

"I'm having the guards clean it up now."

She looked around her, realizing that their clients was staring at them very confused.

"It...it would take too long to explain." She stammered.

Before they could ask a cloud of smoke shot up from the judge's seat once more and with a flash of magic Trixie once again appeared, stumbling out of the smoke hacking and wheezing. Noticing that everypony had noticed her and quickly regained her composure.

"It-" She broke into another coughing fit, waving the last of the smoke away with her cape. "It was difficult but I have finally decided who is worthy of the title of Element of Loyalty."

Everypony eagerly went back to their seats for the announcement. Trixie levitated a stack of papers in front of her into order.

"But first a recap."

She looked over everyone in the room one by one.

"Rainbow Dash, you're being held in court over your title." She said putting emphasis on 'title'.

Dash nodded plainly.

"Spike you're going to court for her title." She flatly stated.

Spike looked down at the table glumly.

"Luna you're a terrible lawyer."

Luna slammed her face into the table, accidently impaling her horn in the wood and leaving her stuck.

"And Twilight is an amazing lawyer when she's drunk."

Twilight was underneath her table at the moment and waved a hoof appreciatively.

"So without further interruption, Trixie will announce the holder of the title of loyalty."

She looked at her notes dryly.

"The Element of Loyalty is-" She gave the group a sarcastic shrug. "...Of course, Rainbow Dash."

Luna, who was still lodged in the table groaned loudly.

Twilight cheered, standing up rather quickly for somepony that drunk. "Come on Dash, let's celebrate with some liquor!"

Dash stood up without a word and trotted to the center of the room. She stood tall and determined.

"I forfit my case and relinquish my title. Spike will be the new Element of loyalty."