Vinyl catches a case of narrator.
Vinyl is just an ordinary, dubstepping, no you can't see my eyes anytime soon kind of unicorn. She lives life upside down. During the night, she spins remixed records at the club, and during the day... She walks around town like a side character. When does she sleep? Good question. I should look into that sometime. Anywho, our story begins on an ordinary morning, as Vinyl wakes up. Oh, she already went to have breakfast while I was talking. Whoops. Vinyl, in the mornings, enjoys a good bowl of Celesti-os.
"Who's there? How did you get in my house? How did you know I like this cereal?"
Oh no... Now I'm narrating Vinyl, and she can hear me.
"What about me? Show yourself!"
Just... Ignore me. Continue on with your life.
"Okay, wierd pony who isn't there."
Vinyl always fisnishes breakfast just as Octavia walks down the stairs, so it's the perfect time for them to greet each other. Vinyl actually has a crush on Octavia, but she probably didn't want me to say that.
"Hey! How do you know that?!" Questioned Vinyl.
"Who are you talking to, Vinyl?"
"A wierd pony who refuses to show themselves, and seems to know everything about me."
Well, I don't know what your favorite colour is.
"I don't have a favourite colour!"
Now you do. It's blue.
"My favorite colour is blue!" Exclaimed Vinyl.
"Wait, you just said 'Exclaimed Vinyl' right after i said something. Who are you, some sort of narrator?"
Well, yeah. I was writing a story about your everyday life, but then you heard me, and now we've gotten here.
"Vinyl, I'm still here, and I haven't said anything. Are you feeling all right?" Octavia went up and put one of her legs around Vinyl's back. She oubviously seemed concerned.
"You're concerned? Don't be. It's just, voices in my head." Vinyl moved out of Octavia's reach.
Octavia became quite puzzled, and left. Vinyl ties to ignore the annoying voice that she says is in her head as she plays wubs really loudly. She thinks that maybe this will drown out the wierd voice that sounded like the guy from cinemare sins.
"Stop talking, narrator poltergeist pony!"
"Did he stop?"
"He did!"
"Yippee!" Vinyl began to hop around the room, but then stopped as she realized the narrator returned.
Sorry, I wanted to make some Kraft Dinner, so I started the water boiling on the stove.
"I though you were gone..." Vinyl sulks on her DJ stand, and puts on the fakest sad face in the history of fake sad faces.
"How did you know that?!?"
Because I narrate the story. I know all.
"Can you just leave me alone? I don't like some presence narrating my life!"
Got it. I will continue to narrate, but silently.
The narration, for some reason, continued in the head of the DJ, instead of noise being heard.
"I think you'll drive me crazy sooner or later." Vinyl left the house, and headed for a day job at the pet groomers.
"You have got to be kidding! A pet groomer? How can I stop?! This isn't my day job!"
But I said so, and you think nine smells nice.
Vinyl unwillingly goes into the pet groomers, and performs a job she hopes she never experiences again. Luckily, she got to keep the job.
"LUCKILY? I hate that job!"
The pet groomer shop owner overheard, and asked Vinyl if she was sane.
"Why are you making him speak through narration?"
Because it floats around in your head and gets really annoying!
"Come on! Can you just leave?"
Not until I figure out a good way to end this story.
"Uh, hello?" Said the manager. "New worker? You have a job to do!"
Vinyl suddenly smiled and pranced over to a stand, where Rarity's cat, Opal, stood.
"Hey! This cat is way too picky for a beginner!"
Everything, except the narrator, ignored Vinyl's cry for help. This resulted in the cat jumping onto Vinyl's face and clawing at it.
"Mister narrator sir! Make it STOP!"
But it's funny, and I need something lengthy so I can make my Kraft Dinner. Be back in a jiffy!
After hours of boredom and pain that we will not discuss...
Vinyl fell into the door, pushing it open at the same time. She greeted the house happily, and stumbled over to the couch. You could tell she was exhausted, tired, bored, mad, relieved, annoyed,-
"YADDA YADDA SO ON SO ON ETC WE GET IT!" Vinyl cried out.
She reached for a remote, and prepared herself for the wubs that would begin to blast out of the giant speaker in front of her, but they never came. Instead, peaceful, graceful, beautiful, soothing, rhythmic, soft, cello music began to play.
And of course, Vinyl was happy to hear it.
"Wait, I am not happy to hear this!"
But she was too late. She dosed off to the peaceful, graceful, beautiful, soothing, rhythmic, soft, cello music.
"Vinyl! Turn off th- oh, what?" Octavia tried to predict Vinyl's wub alarm going off, but it played cello music instead. "Well, I suppose that'll do..." She drifted back to sleep.
It was a beautiful morning, the grass was green, birds were chirping and humming graceful melodies, the peaceful flowing of the stream outside, the leaves rustling smoothly from the slow wind... Except for one thing. There was an angry Vinyl Scratch staring up at the ceiling, prepared to punch it.
"Would you please just SHUT UP?"
Oh, I'm sorry I woke you.
"But will you just SHUT UP ALREADY?!"
If I were to be quiet, nothing would happen. You wouldn't be able to think, you wouldn't be able to anything! I control everything you do! I think.
Vinyl walks over to the speaker, about 3 seconds before I began this sentence.
Oh, so you can control your actions.
Vinyl nodded sternly, and waltzed out the door. She wandered the streets, unaware that the readers should make up what happens mentally so that Vinyl doesn't have to listen to my- oh, she's giving my presence the look, I need to go. Have fun thinking up what happens for the next bit!
After a bit
Vinyl is finished doing whatever, and heads home. She puts in effort to ignore me, but it's difficult to ignore a voice that is speaking to you from inside your own head.
"Can't you just leave me alone?"
That isn't right. This story has to have some sort of heroic ending. I'm still trying to figure out what it'll be.
"Well, how about discord comes back and I finish him off with my wub cannon?"
You already did that. Need something better.
"You do know I don't have a very big fan base, right?"
No, but okay. How about we get you a bigger fan base?
"That's better! Now, what do I do?"
Vinyl goes to the local fanbase market and they start crowding her. She is super happy, and appreciates her new fanbase. The end.
"That's dissapointing. Give me something decently long."
Time rewinds back to when Vinyl didn't have her fanbase.
"There we go. How about I host a concert?"
Well, you're the protagonist of this story. Do you want to hold a concert?
"Yeah!"
Then get your DJ equipment. About 2000 bits are on your doorstep. They got there magically.
"Oh, that's useful! How do I know you said "magically" with an italic font?"
You just do. Now, hosting that concert?
"Got it." The aspiring DJ ran off to collect her gear and reserve the ponyville stage for the night. She had 500 bits left, so she decided to use 200 for a light show in the background and 50 to hire a Pegasus that would drop the coins down from the sky during the concert.
"Well, it looks like I'm all set."
Aren't you forgetting something?
"No. People walk up and listen, and rain me with bits when they hear my epic wubs."
That method is inefficient. What about if you had a price to enter?
"Five bits?"
Sure. I think you need a spell if you don't want to hire another worker.
"What's the spell?"
I don't know. You have about two hours to figure one out.
"Oh, that's not good. My magic specialty is music and concerts."
So you should be able to conjure a barrier that only lets ponies into a sound-proof bubble often they throw five bits into it, where they warp backstage into a bag. After the concert, you collect all the money and go home. You make money, and increase your fanbase! Probably.
"I need someone else to tell me how to cast that."
Twilight Sparkle might be able to help you.
"Isn't she busy 24/7?"
No. Vinyl nodded, and began walking towards the castle of Princess Twilight Sparkle. When she finally arrived, she knocked three times, each knock sounded like a bass dropping, followed by a short dub step tune.
Muffled, but audible, Vinyl heard the princess yell out to somepony else in the castle. "Spike! That DJ pony is here! Can you tell them I'll be there in a moment?"
"Yes ma'am!" Said a young male voice. Vinyl assumed that that was Spike.
The large oak doors swung open, and a baby dragon greeted the DJ. "You must be that DJ! Twilight enchanted these doors so that everyone who knocks makes a different sound. Watch!" Spike knocked on the door, and the sound of crinkling parchment and a magical fire sounded.
"Well, I wanted to know if Twilight had a spell that could create, well, it's kinda long. I'll just wait for Twilight."
I can handle this. Just a moment.
"The narrator says he can handle this."
"Wait, the narrator? That guy practically drove Twilight up the wall! The fourth wall, to be specific."
Bye now. See you in a few moments!
Hello again, Twilight Sparkle. You still trying to figure out how I exist?
"Wait, Narrator? Why are you here again? I thought you had other ponies to narrate."
That Vinyl Scratch wants to know if you knew of a spell that would encase a certain area in a soundproof dome that would let a pony through if they throw five bits at it.
"Okay, so you won't be following me around for too long?"
No.
"Then I need to work with the time I have. Look at this!" Twilight showed the narrator a small machine that had a fancy lens in it.
Well, what does it do?
"It lets me see spirits."
Simple enough. What do I look like?
Twilight raised the machine to her eye, and looked around the room. "Lots of spirits, but not you. I'd think you'd have a strong spiritual essence. Wait, there you are! Okay. I'd better keep this secret. You could be the essence of nightmares if I let information on what you look like slip."
Anywho, can you just hurry over to the ponyville stage and cast that spell? Maybe add some magical text that says something like: DJ concert tonight! Throw five bits towards the stage to enter and listen! Spell was cast by Princess Twilight Sparkle. 100% real!
"Sounds easy. Just a second... Done!"
How did you do it that quickly?
"I teleported to the stage, cast the spell, went back in time ten seconds, and teleported back so I'd appear just as I disappeared."
Smart. I need to go! Bye.
"Goodbye, Narrator spirit and possible essence of nightmares!"
All right, Vinyl, the spell is cast. Ponies can leave, but entering costs five bits.
"Sounds good. Spike, thanks for anything helpful you did. Bye!"
That night...
Vinyl was blasting wubs all over, and bits would fall from the sky every now and then. She had a sizeable crowd bobbing and dancing to her music, but the story wasn't over.
"Narrator, can you keep the spotlights pointed at me, and just loop that record there?"
Sure. Not that difficult. It's kinda fun swinging spotlights everywhere. The record floated up onto the DJ stand, and began to play a track that the DJ lives by. She could've sworn she had heard it in another life, so it was sacred to her.
Vinyl leaped towards the crowd, and began crowd surfing. The spotlights were all pointed at her, and she was basking in the glory. Eventually, she had looped around to the stage again. She hopped onto the stage, and the music died down. Some of the crowd started complaining, but Vinyl had a look as if she wanted to make an announcement.
"Now, one lucky pony, Pegasus, or unicorn will get a cash reward of 50 bits if they party the hardest!"
The crowd went wild and the music resumed. Well, good job, Vinyl. You got a concert running and everything. Looks like you have quite a big fanbase now.
"Thanks, even though I thought you wanted to torture me at first."
I forgot to ask, when do you sleep?
"Oh, I don't. I have spells that keep me permanently awake. Part of being a DJ means having to find ways to sneak around being tired. Unicorn DJs have developed a spell to keep us awake when we need to be."
Good to know. Well, I heard your announcement. I'm seeing that one with the frilly pink mane should get the fifty. She looks as though she really likes to party.
"Good point. You there! Frilly pink mane one!"
"Me?" Replied Pinkie pie, over the dubstep.
"Yes! You've won the fifty! It looks as though you love to party!"
"I don't just love to party, I host and am the party! Everyone gets a free Chocolate Delight after this epic party ends! Chocolate Delights are copyrighted and reserved by Bon Bon! This totally isn't product placement!"
The crowd let out a big whoop from the news about free Chocolate Delights.
"Now, thanks for the fifty bits!" Pinkie Pie pulled a sack from in her hair, revealing fifty bits.
You have fifty bits less in the bag you have out back.
"Well then, that was easy."
Eventually, ponies began to drift away to Sugarcube corner. Vinyl spun the last record, and then packed up her gear. A few ponies stuck around, but quickly cleared out after Vinyl told them about the free Chocolate Delights.
"Well, narrator, you've done it. I have a huge fanbase, and I've made a bunch of money. I don't know how I can repay you."
Well, you don't have to. Pinkie, bring it out.
"Yes sir!" Pinkie brought a cart of chocolate truffles out of a bush. "Said the narrator."
Okay, Pinkie, I know you have a habit of breaking the fourth wall, but that's just creepy. Vinyl, you can repay me by sharing these with Octavia, and not letting them go to waste.
"Got it!"
"Said Vinyl confidently."
"Really, Pinkie? Please don't tell me you're gonna replace the narrator for the rest of my life."
"Don't worry, that was just for giggles."
"Vinyl walked home, knowing that a world of dub step lied ahead. She knew the narrator was the real main character here, but she tried to keep the glory to herself. Pulling the cart of Chocolate Dlights behind her, she trotted home."
"Pinkie, stop it."
"But someone needs to narrate! The narrator left!"
*Chewing sound*
Just grabbed my Kraft Dinner. Continue.
Author's Note
Remade the ending, and extending the story. Previous version wasn't that great. Thanks to Stratocaster for writing the original fanfics, which were featured, or at least one was featured. To me they were both featured. I did get permission from Stratocaster to write this, and I hope you enjoy it if you haven't already! The original fanfics are Here and Here
