I’m John Smith, your stereotypical brony. You know the type – the life-sucks loner sequestered in his room looking at pony all day long, gaining my only joy and happiness from Friendship is Magic. I’ve been through the motions, the being dropped into Equestria, the meeting and sleeping with the Mane Six, the grand adventure, the receipt of a key to Equestria, the six pledges of unrequited love… At least, that’s what I would love to tell you. Instead, I get to tell you this.