Magical Mystery Cure (Background Pony Version)
Time Turner trotted into Luna’s throne room with his usual “Walk around like you own the place." attitude. The guards didn’t recognize him, and put up their weapons in a threatening manner. But the princess knew full well the stallion that had just trotted in, and raised one hoof for them to stand down.
“Luna.” He addressed her directly as if they’d known each other since they were foals.
“Time.” She returned the favor.
“May I speak with you in private?” He asked.
She made another motion for the guards to leave. After they had gone she asked, “To what do I owe this little drop-in Time?”
“Well,” He started with a contrived look. “It’s complicated. Might we sit down? This could take a while.” He explained.
“Certainly.” Said the majestic mistress of the night, and they made their way into her private dining room. She noticed he was in formal attire. A blue suit with red tie. He’d never usually wear something like that, simply his normal green tie with collar. Something else she noticed was that there were bumps under his suit where wings would appropriately be on a Pegasus. And finally the most startling thing was that he had a horn! This was obviously Time Turner from after everything had fallen into place and she revealed her plan to him, transforming him into an alicorn!
“So, Prince Time Turner, how may I be of service?” She asked.
He blushed a little. He was a stallion for secrets after all, and once somepony found him out, he could show embarrassment quite plainly. “Well, in a day or so for you, my friends in Ponyville will all have their cutie marks traded around roulette style.” He explained.
She knew what he meant. “Starswirl’s unfinished masterpiece.” She said in the realization.
“On the nose. I found the most ingenious way of solving the problem, but had no idea how it came about. Until I was transported to some strange, starry place, The Dream, possibly? And you…” He was cut off when she raised a hoof.
“I know. Thank you for making this little visit. Otherwise I would not have known that now is the time.” She assured, and thanked him.
“You’re very welcome. Remember, I’ll have no idea what to do, but don’t go easy on me.” He reminded her.
“I understand Time.”
. . .
The T.A.R.D.I.S broke through the clouds as if they were tissue paper, headed straight for Ponyville.
“Time! Can’t you slow it down a bit?” Asked Dominic, gripping his paws to the control room railing.
“Not exactly. Remember, we broke the wibbly lever last week.” Time Turner reminded his lupine companion.
“Yes, but what does that have to do with slowing us down?” Dominic retorted as they were hurled towards town.
“Well it does a lot more than contain explosions!” Said the good Doctor.
Dominic couldn’t take it anymore. He broke away from the rails and reached out for a blue lever on the console. He pulled it down, and suddenly, they’d landed.
“Well, thank you. Song?” Asked Time Turner as he collected his wits.
“Go ahead. Just as long as I get some quiet time.” Said the content wolf. Time Turner burst out the T.A.R.D.I.S door only to reveal that it was a simple, small box.
“Morning in Ponyville shimmers! Morning in Ponyville Shi-i-ines! And I know for absolute certain, that everything is certainly fine!” Sang the contempt pony as he strolled through town. “There’s the mayor, on route to her office. There’s the Sofa clerk selling some quills.
The clerk heard the song and gave a passing, “Mornin’ Doc.”
“My ponyville is so gentle and still. Can things ever go wrong? I don’t think that they will.” He told a couple of customers waiting patiently for their orders on the porch of a restaurant. He continued through the busy streets to finish his power ballad. “Morning in Ponyville shimmers, Morning in Ponyville Shi-i-ines. And I know for absolute certain, that everything is certainly…” He was suddenly cut off by a pile of mail landing on his head.
“Derpy Hooves, that’s not funny!” He shouted looking up. He saw nothing.
“Sorry Time. I was trying to pick it all up, but something bumped me.” Said an obviously distressed Lyra from his left. He turned to see her, picking all the letters and bills back up into the air with her magic. He noticed that her flank now bore Derpy’s cutie mark.
“Something tells me everything’s not going to be fine.” He said to himself in shock.
(Cue the intro)
“Lyra, what in Equestria are you doing? What happened to your cutie mark?” Asked Time Turner, the stallion an utter mix of confusion, disbelief, and a strange craving for chocolate milk.
“What are you talking about? I’m just doing the job I’ve done since the day it first appeared. Are these stacks ok?” Lyra asked as she showed him the letters in two sloppily assembled stacks. Suddenly, the town’s ponies began to crowd around her demanding their mail. “Too Discordish?”
By this point, Time Turner wanted some answers. “Where is Derpy Hooves?” He asked, a little miffed. “Why isn’t she handling this?”
A few moments later, Time, and an exhausted Dominic Starwave walked towards what they thought was Bon Bon’s house. Dominic yawned slightly.
“I still don’t know what you had to wake me up for. I love sleeping in the box.” He said.
“Your T.A.R.D.I.S naps can wait Dominic, Lyra had Derpy Hooves’ cutie mark, and said that this was Derpy Hooves’ house! Something strange is going on.” Explained the confused stallion as they walked up to the door. He knocked and was soon greeted by a nervous and plainly distressed Derpy Hooves.
“Hey fellas.” She said, still peaking in and out the door.
“Derpy Hooves. Why is Lyra doing your job?” Asked Time Turner. But his question went unanswered, as an oven-timer dinged from inside the house, and Derpy rushed inside. Slowly but surely, he opened the door with one, shaking hoof. “And what in Luna’s name is going on in…” He got his answer as he saw the entire interior of the house covered with cake batter and candy wrappers. “…Here?”
A new song began as Derpy darted around, stirring cookie batter and taste-testing candy. “I can’t make any sense of these, candies and cakes and cookie recipes. It’s up to me to bake them, cause plainly you can see. It’s got to be my destiny, and it’s what my cutie mark is telling me.” With that last line, Derpy sat on her bum and pointed toward her cutie mark. Three blue-and-yellow-striped candies.
The two moved to Vinyl and Octavia’s house to find Octavia trying to create dubstep in front of a live audience outside. “I try to keep them dancing, put a smile upon their face. But no matter what I try it seems a bit of a disgrace. They have to hear good music. It’s there for all to see. It’s got to be my destiny, and it’s what my cutie mark is telling me.” On Octavia’s flank, a large, black, music note.
Next they found Bon Bon in Lyra’s workshop tinkering. “I don’t care much for nuts and bolts and building tools just makes me halt. Now I have to build a game for this lil’ colt. I’ve got so many orders now, it’s no fun being me. But it has to be my destiny, cause that’s what my cutie mark is telling me.” She pointed to the golden lire on her flank.
Time and Dominic had gotten the gist of what was going on by now, and were plainly worried. But they kept moving to get closure on what exactly had happened. They returned to Vinyl and Octavia’s house to find Vinyl inside with Octavia’s cello. “Listen here to what I’ve made I think that it’s music.” She played a beautiful piece of music, but put on a disappointed face as if to say, “I know it’s terrible.” “I know it doesn’t sound like much, I think that I’ll be sick. Could you give me a hoof here, and help me clean this wreck? My destiny is not pretty. But it’s what my cutie mark is telling me.” Standing by the cello, she looked at the pink, treble clef on her flank.
Still more disturbed than before, the boys revisited Lyra in the streets. “I’m in love with bills and letters but the others are deterred. For i gave him a notice, and her a court order. I have to keep on trying. For everyone can see. It’s got to be my destiny, and it’s what my cutie mark is telling me.”
. . .
Time Turner burst into the T.A.R.D.I.S, almost slamming the door on his faithful companion behind him. “So who’s up for a trip to ancient Maretonia?” He asked without giving the present situation any regard.
Dominic caught the door with one paw, came in, shut the door, heard the question, and then proceeded to fold his forepaws in a “really?” kind of manner.
“30’s Manehatten? Time asked, still trying to avoid what had happened to his friends.
“Time.” Dominic said firmly. He walked closer, and put one paw on Time’s shoulder. “Do you know how this happened to our friends?”
Time’s face dulled. He sighed, and began to explain.
To Be Continued...
Author's Note
I realize this is a concept pretty much the entire “Background pony” branch of the fandom has entertained, especially with Project Thundercloud. So what I’m going to do with this story is agree with a couple of things the rest of the fandom has done.
Similarly, the only element in the story from Project Thundercloud is the names of the elements, and their corresponding new bearers.
Time Turner: Loyalty
Lyra: Generosity
Derpy: Inspiration
Octavia: Kindness
Vinyl: Honesty
Bon Bon: Laughter
This will be my own story, and truly my own. (With the exception of it being a direct parody of the original Magical Mystery Cure) So to show that, I’m adding myself in as Time Turners companion.