Your Secret *Derpy* Admirer

by GodOfBBQ

Rating: teen
Tags: Second Person, Comedy, Other, Equestria Girls, Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Human, Romance
Length: 1681

You personally don't believe in Valentine's Day. Thinking it's real reason it exists is to increase the profit of card and flower companies. To you, the holiday is meaningless. Many would say you're just sour you have nobody to spend it with.

You personally don't believe in Valentine's Day. Thinking the real reason it exists is to increase the profit of card and flower companies. To you, the holiday is meaningless. Many would say you're just sour you have nobody to spend it with. But that's not the case. No, no, you have a valid reason as to why you dislike Valentines Day. But your perception of the romantic day is changed when you (quite literally) bump into a ditzy classmate.

*Yeah it's a day late, oh well. Hope you enjoy it nevertheless.

Published 2016-02-15 05:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-15 05:30:02 UTC

The Cloud

The Cloud

Seven in the morning and you still weren’t one hundred percent awake. Thursdays were your least favorite days. They were nothing but horrible reminders you still had one day of torture to look forward to. A miserable day in which has no point or use. At least, Wednesday was the halfway point, Monday was the beginning of everything (speaking school wise), and Tuesday was just a sequel to Monday.

It appeared as though the people around you didn’t seem to think the same, however. They were too busy being caught up and distracted by the obnoxious cloud of “Romance” that polluted the air. Today was Valentine's day. Just another thing you hated about this week’s Thursday. You walked to your locker, passing by couples exchanging gifts of affection and love between one another. Men with women, women with men, men with men, and women with women. Every combination that was deemed publically acceptable filled the halls of the school. You inwardly groaned at the sight.

‘Poor saps,’ you thought, ‘so distracted by this horrid holiday. Pity, to think I had hopes for humanity.’ Frankly, you despised this day. Valentine’s day. What a cruel joke. What many people forget is it’s a holiday created by the mass media and rich companies who only want to make a quick buck off of people’s feelings of romance. Card publishers and flower shops all over the country work extra hard for this ridiculous holiday. All to earn their income. Income, the real reason for Valentine’s day.

You groan as you see a couple pass you by holding hands. It’s not like you had anything wrong with relationships or romance, but today it just seemed… Wrong. This hate definitely wasn’t because of jealousy either! You just knew better that’s all. You always thought people didn’t need a special day to show they love their special someone. They should show the same love they show on Valentine’s every day for as long as they’re together.

You work your combo lock on your locker until you hear that satisfying click. You open your locker to store your P.E. clothes for the third period and gather some books for first period History. After you have everything you need, you close your locker and make your way to your history class. As you walk, you pass by more and more couples that make your cringe more and more. The teddy bears annoy you. The flowers disgust you, and the chocolates leave a sour taste in your mouth. You walk a little faster to avoid the freaky love birds who’re too distracted with each other to notice your disgusted looks you show them.

‘It’s just seventeen more hours of this nonsense and it’ll all be over. All that will be left is the chocolates in their heart shaped boxes.’

As you smile at the future, you walk a little quicker. However you don’t pay attention as you walk, you’re lost in your own thoughts of the future bliss. This thought distracts you from noticing a bubbly blonde girl about to crash right into you. By the time you looked back up, it was too late. You and her ran into one another, sending each other to the dirty school floors. You’re not hurt thankfully, but the collision did make quite the mess. Letters with hearts and the word ‘love’ written on them were scattered everywhere, and at the center of the mess was that ditsy blonde girl who you’d see sitting alone during lunch. You knew her name was Ditsy, or Derpy if you were one of the many bullies at the school, and you did exchange words with the girl on a few occasions. But you wouldn’t consider you and her as friends. More like acquaintances.

“I apologize, I didn’t mean to-” You’re cut off as you see the girl sitting before you. Apparently she has no decency. Her legs were spread apart, revealing her panties to you due to her wearing a green skirt. And somehow, her shirt was pulled up revealing her bra, or half of it at least. What amazed you was she seemed completely oblivious to the moment. It’s as though she wants you to see what she had hidden from the public.

Or she was just really, really dumb.

“Goodness, Ditsy! Have you no shame!?” You ask as you hide your eyes from seeing her undergarments. See, unlike the modern pig-men you’re surrounded by, you have class and show respect towards women and their privacy. You even shield your eyes from their naked body unless you’re invited to gaze upon what they have. You assume that’s what happens when you’re raised in a very strict family with strict views.

“Huh? Oh! I’m so sorry!” Ditzy exclaimed as she rose up from her seated position. Still failing to fix her shirt. Although she helps you up and you’re thankful for her, it still bothers you she still hasn’t covered her bra.

“Ditsy, your bra. It’s showing.” You inform as you continue to look away. Ditsy looks down and grimaces.

“I do, huh?” She pulls her shirt down, finally allowing you to look at her once more.

“So, what’s with all this mail? You need assistance gathering it all?” You ask trying to be friendly.

“Oh no, it’s fine. I got it under control!” Ditsy says as she bends down and gathers all the letters. “Principal Celestia assigned me to pass out all the Valentine’s grams to the students who received one. I’m so happy she trusts me with such an important job!” Ditsy says as she gathers the remaining letters.

“Is that right? Well, I must say she made the best choice in recruiting you for the task!” You compliment. You kinda had to. She probably didn’t get many compliments to begin with what with her… Deficiency.

“Thanks!” She says with a blush. She says her goodbyes and begins to skip away until she suddenly remembers something. “Wait! Max! I have something for you?” She gets your attention and you look back at her. If there’s one thing that got you a lot of attention was your name. ‘Max’ in your opinion a normal sounding name. But for whatever reason, that was sought as weird while a name like Butterscotch Freedom is totally normal. You suppose it was just one of those things that happen when you’re born and raised in an old fashioned and strict family. You’re named the old fashioned way with old fashioned names. Which you think is pretty neat.

“I forgot to give you this,” Ditzy said as she held out a red envelope. On it was white cursive you couldn’t really make out from your angle. You thank her and gently take the letter from the girl. She then scurries off without saying anything else.

“Oh no, is this one of those silly candy gram things?” You ask yourself? Who in their mind would want to send you, of all people a candy gram? Unless it were somebody like,

“Your secret admirer.” You read the white writing on the front, and beneath that writing was two words. “Love, Ditzy.” You can’t help but smile at the mistake.

‘Silly girl…’ You open the letter and inside was a little Valentine’s card. Nothing too silly surprisingly. It was actually a serious looking card. You opened it and inside was more cursive writing.

“Dear Max, I’ve always wanted to tell you this, but I’ve never been able to work up the bravery to say it to you in person. I figured you couldn’t tease a card, so I wrote you this. The thing is, I really, really like you… Like, more than friends or whatever we are, like you. You’re the only one who’s really been nice to me and I was hoping we could hang out more. Meet me outside at the end of the day near the statue if you agree. If not, that’s OK too…

Your secret admirer, Ditzy Doo.” You stared at the words written on the card. This wasn’t something one could easily laugh off. This wasn’t something one could just shrug off and pretend it didn’t happen. This was heartfelt, this was real. You thought more and more about each word as you repeatedly read the small paragraph. As you keep reading the message, you can’t help but smile and feel warm inside. Your grinchy heart had grown three sizes bigger…

~***~

The Thursday school day had come to a close and you were leaving your final period to go home. Or that’s what you would do if you didn’t have one thing to do before then. The card Ditzy gave you never left your grasp, except during P.E. of course, you had to put that away obviously. But for the rest you had to keep it. To make sure it was truly real. As you exited the school, you scanned the area and soon enough you saw her. Leaning against the statue, Ditzy looked around too, probably looking for you too.

You slowly approach her. As you come closer and closer, she notices you too and jogs towards you. She instantly embraces you in a warm hug and you can’t help but do the same. You didn’t know this girl, you didn’t know her story, but you knew she was real, and you weren’t going to let this reality go. You were all about reality anyway! What makes you think you were just going to let this girl go?

You didn’t want to admit it, and you still don’t want to to this day, but on that Thursday, on the Valentine’s day, you felt the cloud of romance engulf you. The same cloud that blurred the minds of your fellow students had captured you too, and you made yourself at home in that cloud.

Author's Note

The Valentine's cloud is a serious issue facing America and here you see it claim poor Max who now lives an oblivious life... But at least, he has Ditzy to keep him company!