Shining Armor liked his cereal. Specifically the kind with the little marshmallows, because it made him feel like a youth again. That was important to him, he decided, as he looked over the breakfast table and saw his ageless immortal wife and his beautiful daughter with the freakishly large wings. He needed the reminder that youth is in the heart of the beholder as he was getting on in years.
Sure, he was technically just past his prime, he mused as he ladled a spoonful of cereal―all marshmallows―into his mouth. Sure, he had access to the best anti-aging magics in all of Equestria due to socioeconomic circumstances that were well out of his control and stacked in his favor. But there was something about having a fifteen year old daughter that just made him feel old.
He looked at his wife, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza or just Cadance she would correct any and all foreign dignitaries who dared to use such an elevated appellation. He remembered joking that she should change her name to Just Cadance, where she softly giggled at the jab and smacked him. But here she was, his Just Cadance, barely awake and buttering toast with a smile on her face, ostensibly to watch her figure. Having watched Celestia Aunt Celestia eat he was convinced that alicorns were pretty much food dumpsters. Shining Armor slowly chewed his cereal, convinced that that was just a way that his Just Cadance made herself feel young.
His gaze then graced his young daughter, Princess Flurry Heart, who was gazing at him intently as she delicately chewed on her yucca fruit. He loved her with all of his heart, but sometimes she made it a challenge to express it. She would commit juvenile crimes pranks she would call them and claim Royal Immunity upon being apprehended. The guard would bring her home and she’d get grounded for weeks on end. She used to be such a sweet filly.
Something changed a few months ago, though, on her fifteenth birthday. She stopped acting out, which was a boon. She also started dressing provocatively and putting on makeup. Now, he understood on some level that mares like to look pretty, but he wasn’t sure what the clothes were about. He spooned another spoonful of cereal into his mouth as he remembered the lecture his wife gave him about the expression of her individuality where he pointed out to her look at those wings she’s individual enough whereupon he was forced to fend for himself for dinner that night.
But back to the gazing by his daughter. She was looking at him some kind of way, her lips wrapped around the slice of yucca before she bit into it and chewed slowly, her eyes never leaving his face. He was pretty sure it was his face. Wait, was there something on his face?
“Flurry Heart, is there something on my face?”
Flurry Heart let out a mischievous giggle before taking a painfully long time to swallow. “No, daddy. Your face looks fine.”
“I’ll say,” Cadance interjected before planting a peck on his cheek. She then took a bite out of her toast.
“You gotta stop being so self-conscious, daddy,” Flurry Heart said. “You’re a good-looking stallion!” Flurry Heart then wrapped her lips around the masticated end of the yucca fruit, appearing to suck intently.
“Hmm,” Shining intoned before he shoveled another spoonful of cereal―this one was mostly cereal because he was saving more marshmallows for later―in his mouth. Something was off about his daughter. But he couldn’t quite put his hoof on it. The timbre in her voice, the way she ate her breakfast no Shiny don’t go there was suspicious.
He decided to quiet his discomfort with inane conversation. “So, Flurry Heart, what are you learning in school?”
Flurry Heart took another bite and swallowed. “Oh, the uzhe. Sentence construction, particle physics, equivariant cohomology…” she said before lidding her eyes, “sex education.”
Shining Armor swallowed sharply. Time to redirect with some patented Dad humor. “Princess Flurry Heart, I’m ashamed that you would make up a subject like equi-whatever somethingology!”
Cadance giggled. “Shiny, it’s a real thing.”
Shining Armor looked at his wife with mock anger. “Well, whatever it is, it sounds unwholesome. I’m going to have to talk to the school board about this equiparent cornology.” He packed some more cereal into his mouth.
“Oh, daddy, you’re so funny.” She took another bite of the yucca fruit. “So what are you doing today?”
“Well, nothing exciting,” he said after swallowing. “Just have to go over some trade agreements, then have to put the troops through some drills.”
Flurry Heart pouted. “I wish I could go through some drills with daddy.” Shining Armor jammed some more cereal into his mouth she did not just say that. He looked at Cadance. She was eating her toast like she hadn’t heard what their daughter had said. Well, if she was ignoring it, so would he.
Flurry Heart finished off her yucca fruit, then stood up. “Well I have to go to school.” She trotted around the table and wing-hugged her mother it’s like another dimension in there. She then walked around the table, wing-hugged Shining Armor tightly, and pecked him on the cheek. “Bye daddy.” She then sashayed out of the kitchen, Shining Armor catching the barest of glances before he looked into his cereal bowl.
That did not just happen. Did that just happen? It feels like it didn’t happen, but I’m pretty sure it just happened. I should check with Cady.
“Cadance, I think my daughter just came on to me.” Shining Armor put a spoonful of cereal into his mouth and chewed all marshmallows this time yes.
“Yeah, and she was doing a rather poor job of it.”
The speed at which Shining Armor spat his cereal out of his mouth and it was all marshmallows too could be measured at a significant fraction of the Speed of Rainboom. He then whipped his head to face Cadance, who was eating her toast like her daughter had not just hit on her husband. Which was to say, rather sedately.
Shining Armor’s chest expanded and contracted at a significant pace as his eyes slit. “You knew?”
Cadance took another bite of her toast. “Yeah. She was telegraphing it so badly, too. We’re going to have to have a talk about that tonight.”
“But why not when it just happened?” Shining Armor asked as he buried his face into his hooves. “Why did I have to sit through that?”
Cadance put her hoof on Shining Armor’s shoulder. “Shiny, you know how she is. To deny her would just push her harder.” She chuckled. “And it’s kind of cute to see you squirm like that.”
Shining Armor grunted. “Thanks, Cady. It’s nice to know that my misery brings you entertainment.”
“Oooh, I didn’t mean it like that,” Cadance said before she stood up and hugged her harried husband.
“I assume you’re going to tell her that we don’t approve of incest in this family.”
Cadance smiled. “Honey, I think she knows that. She was probably trying to get a rise out of us.” She sat back down and levitated her toast to her mouth.
Shining Armor grunted and ate some more cereal the things I put up with. “But what if she wasn’t?”
Cadance slowly chewed her toast and swallowed it. “I honestly wouldn’t blame her.”
Shining Armor launched a piece of uneaten yucca fruit into his Just Cadance’s face, causing her to erupt into a giggle fit as she threw what was left of her toast at him in retaliation. Laughter, being the most infectious of things, burst out of Shining Armor’s mouth as well.
I wonder if other families go through this.
