Could Sell Love to a Changeling
I couldn’t be happier. The invasion had gone so perfectly. I beat Celestia in single hoof combat. Luna, on the other hoof, had taken a full battalion to bring down; it was a great sacrifice but ultimately worth it. Now both of them lay in an eternal sleep within their cocoons subconsciously moving the sun and moon. And as long as I control them the other nations wouldn’t dare to attack.
That other alicorn, Mi Amore Cadenza, was much easier to bring to my side than I had expected. After my victory I had little use for her or her lover but they were both loved by their ponies. I gave them an offer I would let them be together and live among the ponies if they agreed to wear magic suppressant rings at all times, as well as making sure the other ponies don’t get any funny ideas about rebellion. Naturally, they were reluctant at first but after I explained that ponies that are happy and peaceful are far more useful to me than those that keep trying pointless rebellions, they were far more cooperative. I may have also hinted at the fact that if a rebellion were to arise Equestria could always be reduced to a more manageable size. Even after months of having them watched they have yet to act suspiciously.
The nobles came around rather quickly, so long as I refrained from cocooning any of their loved ones, or in a few cases cocooned their loved ones. But now that the conquest was over and the reorganizing of the Equestrian government has settled down I find myself incredibly bored. So bored, in fact, that I chose to try out this ‘open court’ the old princesses used to hold.
After a mere three hours I was quickly regretting that decision. Half of them were asking for the release of Celestia and Luna, citing that I could use the same restrictions as I have with Cadenza. But there are a multitude of ways that was likely to go wrong and I found it simpler just to tell them no than spend the rest of the day explaining this. While the other half kept asking for the release of some random pony we have in a cocoon, despite me telling them repeatedly that the two thousand ponies we have are the minimum we need to keep the changelings well fed.
“My Queen,” My guard, Beedrill, called. “The next guest is ready to see you now.”
I let out a small groan at having to do this again, “If they’re asking about the release of a pony tell them to bring a replacement and I will consider it.”
“No my Queen, these two unicorns claim they have an offer you can’t refuse.”
I rolled my eyes at that remark, this was undoubtedly an attempt to bribe me for the release of either a pony or one of the princesses. “Very well let them in.” I set up straight in my throne ready to get this over with.
Within moments two pale colored stallions trotted into the throne room, each wore a blue and white striped shirt with a yellow straw hat atop their heads. The two looked identical and it was only thanks to the mustache that one had I was able to tell them apart. Being pulled on a wagon behind the one with a mustache was some large contraption I could only guess the purpose of.
“Good day to you my Queen, and might I say how radiant you look today. Allow us to introduce ourselves, this is Flam,” he motioned to the one with a mustache.
“And this is Flim,” Flam said, pointing back.
“AND WE ARE THE FLIM FLAM BROTHERS!” they both said in unison.
I admit I was a bit taken back. This was the first time since I opened court that a pony addressed me as ‘My Queen’ and they were surely the most energetic ponies of yet. “I’m told you have some offer.”
“Why of course,” Flim said. “But first let me ask you a question your majesty. How much love can you produce from a single cocoon?”
And here we go, I knew it was going to be about that. I should have them thrown out, but they are rather entertaining so I suppose I could hear them out at least. “Without putting the pony in danger a single one can feed up to twelve Changelings a day.”
Both stallions grinned wide, “What if I told you we could double that number…”
“No, triple that number,” Flam finished for him. “And best of all you won't have to keep ponies locked in cocoons. They can just go about their daily lives all the while making you all the love you could ever want.”
This was intriguing. Likely a complete lie, but intriguing nonetheless, “And why would I want to release the ponies?”
Flim stepped forward, “I’m glad you asked. You see, since your rise to glory Equestria has been rather down on spirit, but with the release of the ponies Equestria would undoubtedly become a much happier place. As I’m sure you’re aware, happy ponies make more love, but that’s not all they make. Cakes, cookies, pastries, pies, and all sorts of sugary treats that ponies love to make when they're happy. I don’t know if Changelings get any nutrition out of them but I’d imagine those fangs of yours are not just for show.”
I had to admit I did enjoy my late night pastries the pony chef made, but all of this was pointless if talk was the best he could do. “I assume you have some proof of your claims?”
In unison both brothers waved to the contraption behind them, their voices merging into one, “Presenting the Love Extractor 200!” Flim immediately went to work flipping switches and turning gears.
while Flam called out towards the door, “You two can come in now.”
Two earth ponies timidly entered the hall. They were both gray with the stallion having a mane of black and the mares a mane of violet. “Come now, don’t be shy you love birds, just stand right over here.” Flam said, maneuvering the couple into place next to the machines. “Your majesty, I’d like to introduce you to Velvet Moon,” he pointed to the stallion. “And Charcoal. They are going to be assisting us with this little demonstration.” With his magic he pulled a funnel from the side of the machine, still connected by a long hose and held it over the couple.
“Already here,” Flim said.
“Ok love birds,” Flam said. “Look into each other’s eyes and think of how much you love your partner.”
Locked into the eyes of their lover the two earth ponies slowly lost themselves, the room and all its inhabitants becoming a distant memory. I was still unsure of what that machine of theirs was doing but the love I felt from these two was genuine - and by the taste of it this was young love, the sweetest form of love.
Steam shot from the machine as it whistled the end of its task. Flim lowered a side door and retrieved a large cylinder, trotting over he held out the cylinder at the base of the throne. “And here you have it.”
I motioned for a guard to take it and within moments Beedrill unsealed the top and stared into the pick mist that wafted out. He glanced back to me and I gave a nod for him to proceed. He opened his mouth and inhaled deeply to take in in the mist. Silence fell over the room. All eyes were on Beedrill, watching for any signs of foul play. Only for Beedrill to begin greedily sucking down the contents of the cylinder.
I let out a sigh, both of annoyance and relief. He was clearly fine but his changeling instincts seem to have gotten the better of him. I wrapped the cylinder in my magic and ripped it from his grasp. The jolt seemed to bring him back to his senses, and he took his place with the other guards by the wall. I brought the cylinder to me and inspected its contents for myself. Despite what Beedrill had drunk, there was still more than twice the love our method could produce for just two ponies. Gently, I inhaled and it was more delicious than any love I had tasted in years.
This particular couple was young love to a T: Every waking thought obsessing about the other, every available moment wrapped in each other’s embrace, and long passionate nights. I would describe them as sweet but with a warm aftertaste.
This was amazing, this could be the very thing that secures the Changelings’ place as the rulers of Equestria for the next thousand years, and keeps the ponies nice and compliant. But it was too good to be true. Setting the cylinder of love by my seat I rose and descended down until I stood before the two earth ponies. “Tell me, how do you feel?”
The two shared a look before Velvet Moon spoke up “I feel fine, your majesty.”
I cast a disbelieving look at the mare and she wilted under it. “The amount of love extracted from you two should be giving side effects, headaches, severe fatigue, queasiness, anything.”
“I’m being honest, I feel completely fine, no side effects at all.” Velvet Moon’s voice whimpered.
Charcoal wrapped a hoof around Velvet. “Yes, I too feel nothing out of the ordinary.”
I suppose it’s possible they're telling the truth but there is far too much at stake here for chances. I charge my horn with a spell, a spell I had grown increasingly proficient at over the last few months. An arc of magic poured from my horn, engulfing the two ponies. They flinched as their minds bent to my will. The pupils of their eyes now a solid green, they stood waiting for my order. “Do either of you feel the effects of overfeeding?” I asked them.
“No, my Queen,” They said in unison.
“Did that device extract love from you or is this an elaborate trick?”
Charcoal spoke this time, “We are unaware of any tricks.”
“To the best of your knowledge, will this device harm Changelings in any way?”
“No, my Queen.”
“What is your relationship with those brothers?”
“They offered us bits and said we could help free the trapped ponies.” Velvet Moon said, without hesitation.
I looked in the direction of the salesponies and I could see their ever-growing nerves, “Is that so.” With a quick flash of my horn I released the two earth ponies from the spell, “I believe you two have served your purpose, you may go.” The two didn’t spare a second before they galloped from the room.
Flim cleared his throat, “I should point out that this Love Extractor 200 is only a prototype meant for demonstrations. The real thing will be able to cover an entire city with very little manual control required...”
“And it can be yours for only two thousand bits.” Flam finished.
“Two thousand bits and not two thousand ponies?” I asked, trotting over to them.
“My Queen,” Flam continued. “We wouldn’t dare to insult you by asking for the release of any ponies. If your grace were going to release them, then you would. But surely you have heard of the old adage ‘bits make the world go around’, and with two thousand bits it will spin for quite a while.”
They both stood smiling nervous smiles as they waited for me to give a decision. On one hoof, this could be an elaborate trap. While I had no doubts that this device would do what was advertised, the possibility was still there. On the other hoof, nearly endless love - and if what these two say is correct the happier the ponies are the more love they will make. I couldn’t help but smile, “Gentlecolts, you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention.” I turn to my guard, “Beedrill, escort them to the treasury and see they receive their requested price. The rest of you take this thing to the researchers and tell them I want one in every city by the end of the month.”
“Thank you, thank you your majesty!” the brothers exclaimed. I gave them a nod and returned to my seat as everyling got to work. I picked up the cylinder of love from its place by my seat, and leisurely enjoyed the rest of it. Even if this is some kind of trap it is unlikely these ponies truly understand just how strong we changelings become once we are fully fed. So come, deploy your traps, while my people bask in paradise.
***
It had been a month since Queen Chrysalis announced her plans to begin phasing out cocoons, and today the first hundred were set to be released. The Flim Flam brothers waited outside the gates of the palace along with a small crowd of ponies. Flim paced back and forth, unable to keep still. “What is taking them so long, it’s been over an hour now.”
Flam stood patiently and watched through the bars of the gate, “Calm yourself brother, they will be here anytime now.”
“Calm down! How can I be calm, what if Ice Blossom isn’t in this group? What if something goes wrong and they don’t release her or what if, by Celestia, what if she never made it out of the Canterlot Battle.” Flim said, looking to be on the verge of a full nervous breakdown.
Flam looked at him with a deadpan expression before returning his gaze back to the road past the gate. “Or she could be running to the gate at this moment.”
Flim turn to see a large group of ponies heading to the gate. Leading the group was a white unicorn with a white and blue mane. Flim didn’t even wait for the gate to fully open before he galloped past them. Ice Blossom jumped into his waiting hooves, as tears of joy streamed down her face. “I never thought I’d see you again.” Ice Blossom cried, pressing her face into Flim’s chest.
“What, did you think a little thing like a changeling army would stop me from getting to you?” Flim said, laughing at his own joke. Ice Blossom just hugged him tighter.
All around them similar scenes were happening as ponies reunited with their loved ones. Flam may not have been a changeling but even he could feel the love in the air, the sight warming him to the bone. He trotted over to the couple. “Alright you two, I think it’s time we got out of here.”
“Yes,” Ice Blossom said. “I never want to see this place again.”
The group made their way down the street away from the palace, Flim and Ice Blossom not willing to be more than mere inches apart. Flam cleared his throat, “About those two thousand bits we were paid, I had an idea about how we could double, if not triple them.”
Flim and Ice Blossom shared a smile before Flim said. “Flam my brother, that sounds wonderful.”
