The Great and Powerful First Flight

by Snowdrifter

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Trixie, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Princess Celestia
Length: 983

Luna's student learns how to fly... the hard way.

This drabble was a stream of semiconciousness that my addled brain produced whilst reading ponies and wishing I had good, strong coffee rather than instant.
This is not intended to be accurate to the show, since it's a sequel to a parody...
This may qualify as an entry into Ocalhoon's 250k contest.

This was hammered out in my ancient qwerty smartphone. All the good stuff is mine, all the bad stuff is Trixie's fault.

Cover art by the paragon on deviant art

Published 2016-02-20 02:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-20 02:00:03 UTC

The first and only chapter

Dear Princess Celestia;
Trixie is not to be taken lightly. She is full of empty boasts and hollow bragging, and she is not to be trusted. She attracts trouble like a positively charged amiomorphic spell attracts axions.
If you want my advice, I'd recommend blasting her far, far away with the strongest magic you have.
Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.

The light from Celestia's horn caught Trixie from behind. She screamed as she took flight, but there was nothing she could do. She soared off into the sunrise, fading away into a tiny dot that twinkled as it finally disappeared.
Luna dropped back down to the balcony and sighed. Her whisper was almost too quiet to hear. “Thank thee, Sister.”

Morning in Ponyville shimmered, yes, in fact morning in Ponyville shone. As cheerful ponies went about their business, it began to gradually get brighter and brighter. A peculiar sound began rising as a golden streak of light with a dark nucleus streamed past at an extreme altitude. The sound continued to alter with a swift Doppler effect, sounding more and more like a mare screaming in terror.

Ponyville being, well, Ponyville, every pony shrugged and went about their business. For a cluster of friends in the local bakery, the moment passed like so many others. A few raised eyebrows, a shrug or two, and a few lines of conversation.

"My, what a racket. I do hope... Wait a moment. Does that voice sound... familiar?"

"Kinda, Rares. Could be 20% quieter, whoever it is."

"It's just Trixie. I was expecting her to pass by."

" Wait, sugar cube - you were expectin' this?"

"Yes, I was. Princess Celestia actually sent ME a letter explaining to me that Princess Luna was taking Trixie as her personal student. I *am* a little surprised it took the Princesses this long."

"FLYING UNICORN PARTY! YAY!" Confetti scattered everywhere...

Zecora casually trotted along a deep forest path, glancing behind her at the quartet of adorable fillies packing saddlebags. Satisfied that they were all still together, the zebra pressed on into the thick forest.

Suddenly, she froze as an eerie sound approached. The fillies also stopped, and one filly blew her bangs out of her face and said, "Are we there yet?", in a snarky, nasally Brooklyn accent.

"Hush now Babs, we'll be there soon; can you four hear that scream of doom? Yes, methinks there is a cry somewhere way up in the sky."

"is it a bird? It it a plane?"

"You can't have a plain in the sky, Sweetie Bell. Plains are usually at ground level."

Shadows shifted as the glittering, screaming streak of light passed over the ponies present, trailing off into the distance.

" A comet, strangely, does not scream; could there be more to this than it would seem? It matters not, let us go; the herbs we need right here do grow. And so we work, till it grows dark - perhaps one of you will earn your cutie mark?"

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS HERBALISTS!"

As the screaming comet streaked past the badlands digs, a series of minor cave ins flushed out several Diamond Dogs, clutching their ears.

"It hurts! Only a pony could make such a noise!"

"We can't find the pony, boss. At least it stopped."

"Yes, yes - back to work!"

"Howdy, everypony, and welcome to Aaaaple-oosa!" Braeburn crowed as he took his first group of tourists out for the morning. "Let's go check out our lovely... what in tarnation is that?"

"Looks like a mare inside some sort of magical blast", a white stallion with a snowflake cutie mark mused from inside the tour group.

Sure enough, the sound of the screaming shifted with the glittering yellow streak that passed overhead. Every pony stopped what they were doing and stared. The wild west dancers slowed down. The mild west dancers completely stopped, staring up at the odd phenomenon. All the horse drawn carriages slowed so passengers could see the odd sight, while those ponies drawing the horse-drawn carriages added the screaming streak to their drawings.

As the fireball headed for the horizon, it was clearly losing altitude. Braeburn watched it pass between two mesas, barely avoiding the black one. Looked like it was gonna land in the distant Badlands.

Braeburn pushed his hat back, grinning at the city folk he was giving the tour to. "Well, that happened. Let's go to the next spot."

TK 421 slipped carefully around a large boulder, scouting the area for his Queen, Chrysalis. Never mind that there were nymphs starving for love inside - he could feel them. No, he was out there to do a job.

"The biomarkers are in place. They'll give us warning if any lifeforms approach the Hive." The telepathic contact was warm, the comfort of thousands working as one.

He could feel his superior's grim laugh, "There's not enough lifeforms in this waste to fill a sea cruiser. I'm heading back in."

The drone was halfway into his takeoff when he spotted something glowing gold and coming in almost horizontally, clipping several dunes in a row before powering through a few more in a show of light. The golden light was gradually replaced by a magenta color, light which faded a few minutes later, leaving a deep, dark, smoking hole in the final dune.

Immediately, TK 421 shared this new memory, only to be graced by none other than his Queen's mind. "Interesting - I didn't think Celestia would be so violent. I should provoke her when I am at full power, just to get her attention off the invasion. Ideally, when I've got all the love from the wedding absorbed. Return, TK 421, and resume your post."

As the drone left the sprawling desert, a faint sound came from the tunnel...

"Trixie's okay!'