Life at the End of the Rainbow: Equestria Girls Edition

'Ugh, I can't believe it took an hour to go from Canterlot Center to Ponyville Suburbia on a bus traveling over forty kilometers an hour. Rush hour in this world is fucking bullshit,' was what went through my mind as the bus finally stopped down the street from Canterlot High.

The ride itself was quiet and uninteresting, peaceful really. People sat in their seats talking about boring things, guys wolf-whistled me, girls stared in jealousy or desire, and I swear I heard someone taking a picture of me. I mean, seriously! I know I'm hot, but how shameless can you be to take a selfie of an underage girl?! All in all, it was your typical, boring, bus ride. Aside from the obvious monotony of sitting on a bench for over an hour, I did some planning for when I arrived in Ponyville Suburbia.

First thing I needed to accomplish was signing up for high school. I can't establish connections with the Main-Six until the school year starts since I'll be too busy with work and other things important to ensure comfort in my new life. Doing so shouldn't take all that long as I did have some background knowledge from the show, however. There was a slight problem with the plan. It came in the form of three words: Lack of Transportation.

Now, I could use the bus to go everywhere, but knowing the routes from my brief study session at the main transport hub near the city center. The bus isn't a reliable option. Thus, I needed a car and knowing that Rainbow got her learners before I took over her body. I know that I can go for my drivers' license anytime I want, which I've already made an appointment for tomorrow afternoon. I just need a car. It's on the list for things to do for today, and I'll make sure to get one that will be as awesome as Rainbow! It's the least I can do for using her money. I'll get rental for the time being until I can find a vehicle deserving of Rainbow's affection. My credit card came in the mail at the hospital a week ago, so I shouldn't have a problem there.

Another problem came in the form of housing. While I sat on the bus, I looked up potential apartments in case I couldn't crash at Fluttershy's place. There were quite a few worth looking at that weren't too expensive. One of them was looking for a high school roommate. I'll take a look at that one once I'm done signing up for school. It looks quite promising.

As for work? I know I can do administration, office work, fast-food, and programming, but I don't know if there is much of a job market for a high school student. I know programming will be difficult to find. Most IT jobs require a degree to even be considered for employment if you don't have something to show your employer. If I can't get a job as a computer technician, I'll do fast food while streaming. 'I might as well use my looks for views. There is a huge market for sexy gamers even though I'll be playing casually. Time to return to Grandmaster in Starcraft 2! Terrans forever!'

Ten. Minutes. Later.

"Oh, for fuck sakes," I mumbled in annoyance, twitching eyes, and with a hand trying to crush my pen into a singularity. I sat in Vice Principal Luna's office with three other people. Now, nothing would have been out of the ordinary if it weren't for the fact that Flash Cuck-Boy Sentry wouldn't stop stuttering, staring, and trying to talk to me while I'm CLEARLY SIGNING MY PAPERWORK! The other two bastards were Flash's friends, who were also trying to utilize the power of their teenage hormones in an attempt to communicate with me.

I don't want to be that girl who pretends to care about what someone feels with a fake smile and a sickeningly sweet voice, but holy shit! Take the hint! I'm not interested! Don't you see the collar? I'm girls only! I'm at the point that I will grab all three of your sacks, bolt them to the floor, and practice my golf swing! Is this the shit popular girls have to deal with on a daily basis?! They must have the patience of a Buddhist monk!

I didn't bother to pay them any attention. Signing up for the High Honors course is more important. After all, I spent most of my time in the hospital redoing all of Rainbow's grades by taking 100% Academic Final Grade Exams. Each exam reset all of Rainbow's grades from kindergarten to middle-school based on various tests in a controlled environment with the permission of the superintendent of Canterlot's school district, and after all my efforts boosting her academic career. Rainbow went from a C-average(60-70%) student to an A++ High Honors(98.5-100%) student. Including the first three years of high school Rainbow missed. Those were the worst. At least Rainbow's academic credits are above fifteen now. I don't need to worry about failing anymore.

I'm a little disappointed that Rainbow can no longer attend Crystal Prep anymore. Rainbow got into Crystal Prep due to sports scholarships, which wasn't surprising, to be honest. Considering she made so much cash from various sports tournaments, I'm more surprised that Dean Cinch would expel Rainbow from a single mental breakdown. She lost over two-hundred-thousand in scholarship fees Rainbow earned through various company sponsorships. It's such a waste.

As I finished filling out all the forms, Vice Principal Luna walked into the room. She took one look at me, then to the boys drooling all over the floor, then back to me. Her rolling eyes clearly said that this wasn't the first time she's seen teenage boys act like a bunch of perverted stalkers. I'm not surprised either. I used to be one of them, however. I gradually became immune to a pretty girl's appearance by the time I left high school. Nothing works better at controlling unwanted boners than being pepper sprayed. 'I should get a few bottles of FOXlabs 5.3 million SHU pepper spray later...'

Letting out a sigh of relief, I stood up with my papers in hand and placed them on top of Luna's desk.

"Thank you, Miss Dash. I hope everything is to your satisfaction? After all, it's not easy for a young lady such as yourself to take care of your own education while working part-time," Luna said briskly. Although her voice sounded cold and professional, her teal eyes flickered with jealous desire, and they were staring at my tits.

'Even you?! Good! Stare! Your pitiful C-cups don't have anything on my voluptuous F's!' Joking aside, I gave Best Princess a warm, reassuring smile, "Education is the most important aspect in life when creating a solid foundation for your career. Without it, no one can make it far in life without a great struggle. However, if an individual doesn't have work experience to complement their academic success, then their grades are meaningless in the long term. That's what I believe anyway." I gave up trying to act like the real Rainbow Dash years ago. It's too painful to be egotistical and arrogant for long periods of time. Being polite and manipulatively straightforward is easier.

Luna's eyes went wide at my philosophical response. I bet she didn't expect this chick to be a well-educated lady that values both intelligence and a good work ethic when she saw me. Hell, I bet she thought of me as a sexy bimbo that's only capable of getting through life with my appearance alone. I mean, I could have done that, but I'm too lazy. I'd rather stick to programming security software for military technology companies. I didn't spend five years at Cal-tech for my Masters in Computer Science for nothing.

'I miss working on planes for Lockheed Martin...'

Anyway! Luna responded with my smile with one of her own, "I'm glad you are serious about your studies, Rainbow Dash. I hope for your continued success here at Canterlot High, and remember that I am here if you need any help should you require it."

"Thank you for the courtesy, Vice Principal Luna," I said, placing my right hand over my heart followed up with a respectful bow. I noticed her cheeks turned a little pink from the act. Excellent! My weeb bow worked as intended. It's time to butter her up some more!

"If you'll excuse me. I have other appointments that require my utmost attention today. I'll see you again when the school year starts in September. Until then, have a wonderful summer!" And with those words, a bright smile, wink, and twirl; I left her office feeling jubilant! Luna is essential for my plan on reforming Sunset. If she has a positive outlook of my personality and temperament, then she'll be able to look away from some of the things I might need to do in order to rein in Sunset from her bullying ways since Sunset is crucial for finding the soul of the real Rainbow Dash.

I would have chosen Twilight Sparkle from pony Equestria, but knowing her. I highly doubt she'll want to do what I need her to do. Soul Magic, Alchemy, and Necromancy aren't exactly ethical or legal in pony Equestria. But those plans are for later. I still need to ensure Rainbow's dream of becoming a pilot, which requires a very high academic-grade percentage in Math, Science, and Computers. Physical capability is also important, which I'm working hard on! I want to keep these curves after all! I just think that I won't have much time to keep up with my workout routine once I begin school. It's a little distressing.

I don't know what kind of expression Luna had while leaving her office, but I bet it was an adorable one! How can I tell? A woman's intuition. That's how! Anywho~ My trip to the school went smoothly. Aside from Flash Cuck-boy Sentry staring at me dumbly for several minutes, everything went according to plan. Then again, I couldn't help wondering why Flash was in the office in the first place. I understand Summer School was going on for the failures from last year to clean up their grades, but why Flash of all people? Isn't he dating Sunset? I know I've overheard that he was from several of other students roaming around the halls. Shouldn't he be, I don't know, hanging out with her over the break? 'Something is going on here—'

"Hey!" called a voice from behind.

'—Speak of the devil! It's Cuck-boy Sentry!' Turning around, Flash Sentry wearing his signature leather jacket in the middle of summer came rushing over to me with a tint of red to his cheeks. When he stopped in front of me with the stupidest smile on his punchable face, I noticed that I'm taller than him by a couple of inches. It's not surprising. Girls tend to grow up faster than boys during puberty. Give him a couple of years, and he might be taller than me. Not!

Well, I might as acknowledge his pitiful existence. He has the gall to talk to me, let alone try to romance the Phoenix Empress and the Twilight Princess. He doesn't deserve my time, nor Sunset Shimmers or Twilight Sparkles. It's time to show this "Brad" the true value of his disgusting body.

Smiling deceptively sweetly, I asked, "Hello, how may I help you?"

Flash's blush deepened. I could only glare pure death inwardly at him. I can tell what he's going to ask me without even thinking. If he does what I think he is going to do. Then I'm going to tell Sunset the second I see her. Not only will he dig his own grave, but he'll be giving me the resources needed to become closer to Sunset. Not that I plan to use her for what I want before tossing her in the trash when I'm done. I genuinely want to be her friend. I'm not that evil!

"H-Hey gorgeous," Flash shamelessly stuttered out, followed by pulling out his cell in a clumsy manner. "I was w-wondering if you'd like to go hang out at the m-mall sometime?"

'I knew it!' I shouted in my mind but gave no reaction that showed my inner rage. Instead, using my high school drama class, I held my hands in front of me, twirled my left foot shyly, tilted my head cutely, and blushed fakely before replying sheepishly, "Are you asking me out?"

His eyes brightened up at the question, "Y-Yeah, are you interested?"

'Fuck no!'

"S-Sure, you seem like a sweet guy. Can you give me your number?" I happily asked as I grabbed my cellphone out from my cleavage and handed it to him. I just got it today, so there isn't anything on it at the moment aside from my banking app. Meanwhile, when he grabbed the phone, it looked like he received a divine artifact judging by his Brad-like facial expressions. 'Fucking bastard.'

Flash quickly typed in his number in my phone all the while blushing like the Cuck-boy that he is. The disgust I felt for this pile of cheap teenage garbage made me want to vomit all over my phone when he gave it back before throwing it into an industrial furnace. I didn't let it show and, instead, tucked it back between my tits with a wink, then walked away. I'll murder him later.

Am I shallow? Cruel? Conniving? Well, not without reason. There is a reason why I love Rainbow so much. Her loyalty to her friends is one of her most admirable traits. In the modern world, the amount of cheating, backstabbing and abandoning of people to climb the social ladder for money and fame is enraging. Forget about a stable marriage. The divorce rate is 49% before the age of thirty, and the most common reason is cheating. Rainbow's heart is a diamond in the rough. I won't let it be tarnished by an obviously disloyal cuck-boy who is brave enough to go behind Sunset's back. Not like I would date him anyway, and if he was a girl? Then I'd be more than happy to pull out the whip, camera, and slap her ass bloody for the entire world to see before selling her to a pimp. Nothing pisses me off more than disloyal assholes. Whatever, I need to calm down or else I'll blow a casket. I know! Let's go to the dealership first and get a rental. Cars always made me happy.

'Stupid over-emotional girl body.'

One hour later and I'm driving down a street filled with quaint two-story houses in the biggest Dodge RAM 2500/3500 I could find. It even came with a mini-step-ladder and in red! It's a shame I'll only be able to drive it for a week. I don't want to waste money on a rental vehicle that I can't even take out into the country without losing my deposit. Oh well, driving a big-ass truck through the suburbs as a super hot chick is hilarious on its own.

Anywho, I'm driving down this particular street towards Fluttershy's house. I've called earlier to let her parents know that I'm dropping by to visit now that I'm out of the hospital. They were ecstatic about my coming over since Fluttershy couldn't visit me in the hospital due to my doctor's orders. They were so happy in fact. I can see them watching out for me from the living room window. Their actions touched my heart. At least someone cares about Rainbow. Depressing thoughts banished before they came to life. I parked the massive truck in front of Fluttershy's house, turned off the vehicle, opened the door, and got out. When the door shut behind me, Fluttershy's house opened; revealing a rather pretty teenage girl.

The girl in question was none other than the very girl I came to visit: Fluttershy. Her silky cherry blossom pink hair flowed around her adorable oval face and down her back. Her sky-blue eyes twinkled with youthful kindness while her babydoll eyelashes would make the strongest-willed warriors weak in the knees. She wore a beautiful, shoulderless, form-fitting, light-yellow summer dress that ended mid-thigh with three pink butterflies emblazoned on the left side of the skirt; matching closed sandals, and three golden bracelets with butterfly embroideries on her left wrist. The right one had a rose gold analog watch. Did I mention her flawless fair skin, long legs, and light pink lips? Or how about her D-cup breasts? Wait a second. I'm larger than her?! That can't be right. She should already be in the 'G' range! We're both the same age, and I'm only older by a few months. Huh, Rainbow is a Pisces and Fluttershy is a Leo. That's weird. Interesting, but weird.

'If Rarity is smaller than D-cup, and Twilight larger than F-cup, then there is something wrong with this universe.'

Shaking my head free from the smug thoughts of making fun of Rarity and her small boobs, I quickly made my way to the very shocked Fluttershy. 'I know, I was surprised too when I noticed how hot I am. I can't help it. Puberty made me sexy.'

"Hey, Fluttershy. How's it going?" I greeted with a warm hug. I could practically feel the heat emitting from her cheeks from the contact. Plus, the awkward-but-joyful return hug made the moment more memorable. 'Interesting, I'm taller than her by three inches; making her five-foot-six. It's fairly average in terms of height. Also, her boobs are rubbing against mine, and they feel nice~.'

Regretfully, it didn't last as long as I wanted it too. We had to pull away from each other unless we wanted to create a misunderstanding. Not that I would mind. I'm definitely a Fluttersexual, but I don't think she's the same for Rainbow. My top three girls to marry is Sunset, Rainbow, and Fluttershy. Although I don't have time for a relationship, and when I give the real Rainbow Dash her body back. I don't want her stuck with someone that she may or may not like. That is if she is a lesbian. Then I might have some explaining to do, however. If someone I do generally like were to hit on me, then I might give them a chance. Having someone to confide in is always nice to have. Plus, I always wanted to know what it's like to have sex as a girl. I still hope it's one of my top three even if the real Rainbow Dash isn't around. I have dreams ya' know!

I also kinda' wanted to kiss her nose to see what kind of reaction she would have, but that's not a good idea right now. So I'll take the consolation prize of booping her nose instead. The combined sight of her crossing her eyes, twitching her nose, and the heart-exploding pouty face was absolutely worth it! I can die a happy unwilling man-turned-girl at this moment. It's too cute!

Alas, her pouty face didn't last. It got replaced with a timid smile capable of ending the lives of millions, followed by a voice as sweet as sugar-infused honey, and smoother than a baby's bottom. 'Stop! My heart can't take it anymore! Please have mercy, Shy-senpai!'

"I'm doing fine, Rainbow," She replied cutely. "Though, I'm a little surprised of how much you changed over the years. Not that that's a bad thing or anything! Your time in the hospital really made you quite beautiful. I'm a little jealous," she finished her last sentence with a pout.

'Subarashii!'

"Yeah, I'm surprised myself. I didn't think I would look as good as you in a million years let alone three. Puberty is a scary thing," I chuckled. "To be honest, I was a little jealous of your looks as well. I guess we can envy each other?"

"Sure," she giggled before her eyes went wide in embarrassment. "Oh! Would you like to come in? My Dad's in the backyard cooking barbeque. He figured you'd be hungry for real food when you finally got out of the hospital."

"Oh God Yes!"

Meanwhile, in the office of one Vice Principal Luna, there was a heated debate going on within the recesses of her matured mind. She was looking over the paperwork of Canterlot High's newest student: Rainbow Dash. That head-turning teenage girl's background brought constant grief to Luna.

First came the knowledge on Rainbow being a company paid scholarship student of Crystal Prep; next was the information that she got expelled within one week of her enrollment. Why did she get expelled, Luna wondered? Well, according to all the news, internet drama, and a police record of all things; Rainbow had a mental breakdown and was taken to Canterlot General's Adolescent Psychiatric Ward. Not only that, but she was publicly disowned by her parents, lost her scholarships, turned into a laughing stock for the students of Crystal Prep, and all her old friends don't want anything to do with her anymore. And the icing on the cake? She's now homeless.

This entire event shocked Luna. How can such a polite, beautiful, and intelligent girl end up in the situation she found herself in? It doesn't make sense! Rainbow's current grades can get her into any university she wants. Her looks have the capability of making her a world-class model and her voice is Grammy Award-Winning, heart-taking, god-taming beautiful! To make things even more ridiculous? Rainbow is rich! RICH!

So what if Rainbow Dash had a bit of a breakdown? That doesn't justify all the crap that happened to the teenage girl! She stuck with her studies in the hospital; her medical file said she is perfectly healthy aside from the stress that caused the mental breakdown in the first place, and despite everything that happened to her in the past. She has a bright future ahead of her!

Luna rubbed her eyes in astonished-frustration. Dean Cinch, Rainbow Dash's parents, and the companies that backed the young girl; made the biggest mistake they could have possibly made. 'Cinch lost hundreds of thousands in funding, the parents will never be a part of Rainbow's life again, and the companies lost valuable revenue generated from such a talented girl. It's just so...amazing at how dumb they all are! It drives a girl to drink just trying to figure out their reasoning.'

Letting out a sigh, Luna flipped through a few more files until she stopped on a picture. It was a younger version of Rainbow Dash from three years ago wearing Crystal Prep's uniform. She had the biggest smile on her face, but her eyes. They looked tired, depressed even. There wasn't a single ember of the ferocious fire found in the current version of her. She looked hollow, dead to the world; the clear signs of someone overworked to the point of collapse. It made Luna's sympathetic for the young girl, well, until she noticed something else about her.

"THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY SHE LOOKED LIKE THAT THREE YEARS AGO! HOW DOES A FLAT-CHESTED, SHORT, BOYISH, REVERSE-TRAP TRANSFORM INTO A LITTERAL BIG BOOBED GODDESS OF BEAUTY?! IT'S NOT FAIR!" she wailed in despair while looking at her clearly smaller-than-average breasts.

"It's not fair," she sniffled, her eyes tearing up in anguish at the injustice the world thrust upon her since birth.